My Contribution To #MerMay2019

My contribution to #MerMay2019

vampires who adopt each other into very specific family roles

“so I know I’m like a century older than you but you give great advice and you knitted me a sweater that one time, will you be my grandma?”

What if humans are the only species with teeth?

Human: Struggling with wrapping on ration pack.

Alien: Do you require assistance human Andy?

Andy: (With a mouth full of plastic) Na I’ve got it.

Riiiiippppp

See?

Alien: Loses her shit.

*****

Alien looking at a caramel apple: Soooo you eat this?

Human: Yes we love them!

Alien: But they’re so hard. How do you consume them?

Human: Well yeah sometimes people do break teeth on them.

Alien: I’m sorry you can break your mouth bones on them but you eat them anyway!!??!

Human (Already biting into it): Mhuh.

*****

Evil alien: We have you now human!

Human: OH HELL NO YOU UGLY LITTLE SHITS YOU AINT GOT ME YOU THINK HUMANS ARE EASY TO KILL YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING YOU…

Evil alien captain: Shut it up will you!

Evil alien: Yes sir OWWWW!

Evil alien captain: What just happened?!!? WHY IS THE HUMAN ESCAPING!!!?!!??

Evil alien: Humans have mouth bones.

Evil alien captain: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY DO HUMANS HAVE MOUTH BONES??!!!!???

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

strange bog girl makes a friend

one of my final college assignments! we were given a small excerpt of The Circus of Dr. Lao to let it inspire a totally new story. i wrote a short story about a young boy and an ancient water serpent! 💧

PART ½ —> PART 2/2