Idal-noiw - I Do A Lot, None Of It Well - Tumblr Blog

*bleeding to death because the paramedics can’t break the windows to get me out of my stupid fucking truck* heha well at least i dont have to worry about the friggin Zombie Apocalypse… awesomesauce 😎

Alien Covenant (behind the scenes)

Tried out water colour again, it's been a while, drew a lil döggy✨

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More like pol-mime-te so-mimety

temple at the end of the road

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

happy my mother said I could be anything I wanted but I chose to live monday

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

Me when I fucking get you

Wet Beast Rotation

really helpful technique ^ once you know how to divide by halves and thirds it makes drawing evenly spaced things in perspective waaay easier:

Enjoy a drink on one of my special coasters. Yea I custom made them (the coasters) to be so light the drinks condensation makes em stick to the bottom of your glass, but still heavy enough that when it (the coaster) finally clatters to the ground it's loud as fuck and shatters your nerves and makes you spill your drink everywhere. Why am I doing this? Well, it's a sex thing for me

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

Be honest, are you a bad person in any kind of way? I've been finding out about gross stuff that a bunch of blogs I really liked did and I feel icky :(

yeah in most ways. Good luck out there

being held would be so cool. wish physical touch was real

community notes are so brutal. tumblr needs to add that feature to escalate our pvp capabilities

"preheat"? dude i dont even HEAT my oven. thats right. im cooking my shit coldstyle. im stretching the definition of "cooking" far beyond its ultimate tensile strength. my chicken breasts are the most gorgeous pink color you've ever seen. they look like rosebuds on the very cusp of blooming. they look like the dawn when you're in love. hospital.

Tried out water colour again, it's been a while, drew a lil döggy✨

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i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.

canada lynx voted the animal of all time. Boy why are you so paws