Every Once In A Great While I Wonder If We Are Really Aliens That Are Playing A Virtual Reality Game

Every once in a great while I wonder if we are really aliens that are playing a virtual reality game and we have gotten so into the game that we've forgotten who we are

I'm infertile.

And I watch while my cousins have babies and my friends have babies

But I know that my belly won't ever grow round while my body builds a little human

I'll never know the pain of childbirth

I'll never know the joy of holding my newborn as the endorphins flood my body making me feel like I'm floating

It feels so unfair, thats all I've wanted since I was a child. I wanted to grow up and be a mommy. But I won't ever be one.

Honestly, I'm "doing good". I have a good boyfriend, a good job, a good car, a "good" body, a "good" face. I live in a good house with good people. I have a good dog. But I've never been more depressed in my entire life. I don't know why because everything is literally perfect. So my brain picks apart everything. I gain one pound? End of the world. Crying for an hour. I forget to do the dishes and then see them right before I go to bed? A whole guilt trip in my own head for hours.

I'm so tired all the time. I can't sleep at night anymore so I try to get a few hours before I have to get up and take care of my responsibilities so that I don't get into the guilt loop again. And every once in a while, on a day where I'm actually not feeling like shit, my mothers face and voice pops up and I'm suddenly back where I was 14 years ago.

In the bathroom, alone, at night, just wanting to go to sleep forever. But then when they ask..."oh, I'm good! How are you?"

You are the single most important human in my entire existence and I adore you.

I will love you past life, past death, past every star and planet, past the fabric of reality, the last atom in existence at the end of it all will be a piece of my love for you.

Even when the universe collapses into itself and explodes again to create new planets and stars from dust, the essence of my love for you will explode with it and will be the atoms that grow new life.

This love is endless, unchanging, powerful.

God has nothing on this love I have for you, screw god, i pray to the adoration I have for the beauty that is within your soul.

This love is my god

You are my soulmate

 H▲X▲N

fuck people who reblog posts which contradict each other. no! be explicitly clear