"Top Dog" Implies The Existence Of "bottom Dog. This Is A Service That I Am Willing To Provide.

"Top dog" implies the existence of "bottom dog.” This is a service that I am willing to provide.

the weekend's here

Hey, it's tummy tuesday! This time featuring my boyfriend, @homoerotic-vamp

Tags (let me know if you want on or off the list):

@catboybiologist @xenasaur @germanknifemommy @sagasolejma @shakukon-to

@lxladies @godless-of-the-hunt @valas-illyn @its-robyn

Suzanne Collins really has the protocol down. On average twice a decade she writes a press release that's like "in one year there will be a new book and in two years there will be a movie based on said book. Here is the one philosopher I'll be referencing, and here is what upset me this time on the news enough to write another book. Enjoy!" and then she collects her millions, drops another banger, and doesn't go on twitter ever

Getting some fundamentals in this morning.

I spent a solid fifteen minutes trying to come up with a good "subconscious sex" joke but couldn't find one.

Tags (let me know if you want on or off the list):

@catboybiologist @xenasaur @lilithtransrights @sagasolejma @shakukon-to

@lxladies @godless-of-the-hunt @valas-illyn @homoerotic-vamp

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to