Vaggie: "Hello, Charlie's Girlfriend Speaking."

Vaggie: "Hello, Charlie's girlfriend speaking."

Husk: "Why the fuck do you always answer calls like that. This is your fucking phone."

Vaggie: "Yeah? And? I AM her fucking girlfriend, dumbass. She's only got one right now, so answering with that is just good as using my name."

Husk: "Just ask to use her last name already. This is stupid as shit."

Vaggie: "I, Charlie's girlfriend, am gonna have to say- fuck off."

Husk: "Chicken."

Vaggie: "Come at me when you're not still single, scaredy-cat."

Husk: "Like you don't have a ring."

Vaggie: "Like you don't practice having candlelight dinners-"

Husk: "How the FUCK do you know about th-"

Vaggie: "-same way YOU somehow know about the RING, you fucking-"

Angel Dust: "Both of you's know this is a conference call, right?"

Vaggie: "......"

Vaggie: "...Charlie..?"

Charlie: "Yes! Vaggie's future wi-"

Charlie: "-WHEEE HA I MEAN VAGGIE'S GIRL SPEAKING! FRIEND! GIRLFRIEND! Girlfriend of Vaggie who is CHARLIE! It's me I'm Charlie HI HELLO!!!"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, I love you."

Charlie: "I love you too! I love being your girlfriend and I DO- h, have a last name! I do. Have one of those."

Vaggie: "Right."

Charlie: "I have one."

Vaggie: "Good, cool. Hold that thought? I'll be right back."

Charlie: "Okay!!!"

Vaggie: (hangs up)

Vaggie, distantly in the hotel: " H U S K ! "

Husk: "Oh FUCK-" (CRASH) "-SHIT-"

(call ends)

(distant sounds of running and violence)

Angel Dust: "....."

Angel Dust: "Hey do-ray-mi-fa-so-la Charlie, I might not be datin' the guy, buuuut if your totally not future wife kills him I'm so not commin' to ya gay ass wedding."

Charlie: "....what if she just, MAIMS him a little?"

Angel Dust: "Ya serious?"

Charlie: "About marrying her???"

Angel Dust: (hangs up)

Charlie: "...Yes... yes I am~~"

Charlie: (cheerfully hangs up to go stop her gf from ruining their future wedding)

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reblog if you are not hemophobic!!

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Too cute 🥰 not to be reposted

Angel and Husk cuddling

Angel : Hey Husk?

Husk purring : Mhm?

Angel : Do you still love me?

Husk : You ask me that and every night, but my answer is never changing baby

Angel joking (kinda) : Which is?

Husk : I've never loved anyone more in life or death Angel

Angel : I love you too Husky..

This has been sitting in my drafts, thought i'd post it!

NEXT STOP: HUMAN WORLD!!!

Hazbins Visit The Zoo!

Angel: *dressed in as flamboyant gay clothing as he can, swiping his dirty blonde hair back, and sucking on a lollipop* How the fuck did Charlie get Lucifer to agree to this?

Vaggie: *brushes her dark brown bangs to the side as she checks her tanned reflection in her phone's camera* I honestly have no idea. But you gotta admit that this is at least interesting. Even with the human disguises.

Husk: *looking like a stereotypical bartender in a high class bar with a white button up, black slacks, suspenders, black hair with white and grey black beard with a grey stripe going down the right side of his chin and olive skin tone* Okay, but why did she want to bring us to a fucking zoo???

Vaggie: What? Dont like being around the other bears? *watches as a blonde haired, blue-eyed Charlie rushes around with a pack of children on a field trip through the zoo* She liked the zoo in Heaven, apparently.

Alastor: *still wearing a red suit, light brown skin, dark brown hair, and sporting his usual smile* Hmmmm.... I wonder if the elk enclosure is open.

Vaggie: Alastor, no! No hunting the captive wildlife.

Alastor: Then perhaps the alligators. I have missed seeing their shining eyes from the bayou.

Hazbins: *slowly enter the Safari exhibit*

Angel: Hey, Husk! Look! It's the King of the Jungle! *points to one of the two male lions laying lazily in the exhibit amongst a pride of females*

Husk: Hmph.... lazy bastard's more like it.

Angel: Awwww, don't worry, Whiskers. You'll always be the king of MY jungle~ *gives a little kitty claw in the air* RRRRRawr!~

Random Mother: *covers her child's eyes and carries them away*

Vaggie: Ugh!.... *rolls her eye so hard that it nearly disconnects from her skull* Angel, can you be a little less horny right now? We're in a family friendly venue- *looks around* Where did Charlie go?

Kid: Mommy! Mommy! Look! *points down into the lion enclosure* There’s a girl in there!

Vaggie: *groans* Oh.... no.... *peeks into the enclosure and plasters her hands on the concrete wall* CHARLIE!!!!!

Charlie: *giggling as she gives belly rubs to the second male lion laying on its back* Vaggie! He's so soft!!!

Male Lion: *grumbles happily as it brings its paws up and cuddles Charlie to his chest, giving her licks*

Charlie: *laughs* And cuddly!

Vaggie: *jaw drops as she watches the rest of the lions all flock to Charlie for scritches and kisses*

Angel: *taking a video while playing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens on his phone* I stand corrected. CHARLIE'S the Queen of the jungle.

Vaggie: *pinches the bridge of her nose* Shut up, Angel.

Charlie: *giggling and giving scratches and nose kisses to all the lions in the enclosure.*