This Was Literally Their First Date

this was literally their first date

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How stemmes blended masculine and feminine presentation to avoid discrimination and explore pleasure in the Black lesbian community:

Passing

Stemmes could and would pass for instrumental purposes—to please their parents, to obtain a job, or to be able to go to church without receiving condemnation. For instance, this stemme indicated that she did not mind appearing more feminine for economic gain: ... the only time that I will really dress like a female is when I’m like have an interview to go to, or for a job or something. Or my job requires it; I wouldn’t mind dressing up as a female. In contrast, studs were unwilling to dress or act more feminine for the sake of gaining access to heterosexual privilege or avoiding sexual prejudice. Passing as heterosexual, or rather as females meeting normative expectations of femininity, was a strategy only used by femmes and stemmes. For stemmes, passing meant changing their attire, mannerisms, or hairstyles; for femmes, passing simply meant the avoidance of anything others might construe as indicative that they were gay.

Cognitive Reframing

Cognitive reframing was also used to rebuke negative messages from within the gay community concerning one’s gender identity and sexual behavior. Stemmes, often blatantly ignored, derogated, or even physically threatened because of their vacillating gender identities, often made use of this strategy: ...if they wanted to act like a femme that day, they could get pleasured. If they wanted to act like a stud that day, they can pleasure. They got the best of both worlds actually. To me, that’s how I see it. The stemme quoted above focused on the positive facets of her identity (e.g., sexual versatility), rather than the negative way in which she was sometimes treated. In their lesbian community amidst rigid gendered, dating, and sexual behavior norms, young women used this cognitive reframing strategy as a means of dealing with ingroup oppression.

“It Ain’t All as Bad as it May Seem”: Young Black Lesbians’ Responses to Sexual Prejudice, Sarah J. Reed and Maria T. Valenti (2012)

💫

im nothing like yall 😎😭😭

black lesbians brainrot.

- this post was made by a minor, mdni accs dni!

y’all be like “wlw” and it be white loving white.