So My Family Has A Gay Pirate Plate.

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

☠️

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ohhh october be kind. on god be kind

So, book wise: Jude, from The Darkest Minds series. I vividly remember sitting in a chair reading the end of the 2nd book and being so happy everyone made it out, just to realized not everyone in fact made it out. I cried and was so mad I threw the book across the room and I’m pretty sure I woke my grandpa up lol. Sorry about that.

Show wise: I have a few

Chicago Fire: For some reason Leslie’s death got me. Like bitch, I started this show during season 3 when I already knew she died, and somehow it still had me crying.

Ghost Whisperer: Um hello, Andrea...need I say more?

Movies: Marley and Me, but I mean who didn’t cry for this, and The Odd Life of Timothy Green. I only ever saw this movie once when it came out, when I was 10, and for some reason the ending had me bawling my eyes out. No one actually died in this movie, but I had to mention it because it just saddened me in a way I don’t think it should have. I really didn’t think he would have to go. I thought everyone would be happy and he would get to stay.

which fictional death has affected you the most emotionally? like had you straight up crying your eyes out or similar responses

My Encanto Once Upon A Time inspired Au Madrigal Character designs. So far I have done everyone we have met in my story. I’ll do the others once they appear too.

Here is a link to my story if you want to check it out. Chapter 5 is now up!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39399360/chapters/98601870

hey angels ♡ recently my mom got kicked out of her living situation in florida and had to move back to where my sister lives (basically she cant live with me and my dad bc he was terrible/verbally abusive to her and kicked her out). she’s been trying to reach several women shelters but they all are either at full capacity or have a waiting list. my sister has 2 small children so staying with her is not a sustainable situation. i’ve given her all of my savings but since i had to quit my job im limited in what i can give to her. i’m currently looking for a new job and also trying to raise some money to send to her for her gas money/food she might need until she can find safe shelter. 

i’m currently taking commissions for icons, headers, sidebars, & psds. if you’re interested in helping me out it’d be much appreciated!  here is my kofi and paypal.