This Is The Best Story In The World Right Now. Of Course It Comes From Taranaki.

This is the best story in the world right now. Of course it comes from Taranaki.

Judge Allan Roberts was sentencing Tierra Bianca Ngeru (I wonder if I know her...) for breaching community service. Judge Roberts kindly said he would take her pregnancy into account when considering her sentence. Aww, nice guy.

Then Ngeru unleashed the classic line:

"I'm not pregnant," Ngeru replied. "I'm just fat."

Oh shit!

Naturally, the judge was absolutely mortified. To make up for the insult, he knocked two weeks off her jail term. I think he did the right thing.

Remember kids, don't make a comment unless you can see the head coming out.

richardmills:

I kind of agree. Do you?

^_~XO

Daft Punk at the Premiere of Tron: Legacy, wearing Balenciaga, robot helmets and gloves. Surrounded by Tron fembots. You couldn't pull off that look and neither could I.

Badasses.

I'll stop with the Daft Punk fangirly behaviour when I'm damn well ready.

confessionsofacrabhole:

Set Adrift On Memory Bliss - PM Dawn

This song is the fucking jam!  It popped up unexpectedly on my ipod shuffle this morning and pretty much made my day. 

Today is Christina Applegate's birthday (NZT). Happy Birthday to her. Why do I mention this? Because she's namechecked in the song.

This is one of my favourite songs.  Perfect for relaxing on beaches during warm summer evenings, not unlike the weather I'm experiencing right now.

Chuck Norris became a real-life texas ranger!

Hell yeah.

A hot lifeguard is like kleenex! Use once and throw away!

Wise words on summer lovin' from Her Royal Highness, Queen Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl.

Get ready to hit the beaches!