Update, I'm Getting Green And Hero Is Getting Red And Now I'm Being Bullied For My Choice Of Wheel. I

Update, I'm getting Green and Hero is getting Red and now I'm being bullied for my choice of wheel. I will not elaborate.

So there are 3 green party hats and 2 red party hats. The adults get gold hats and Wyatt gets a silver hat. That leaves myself, Hero, Andrew, and Owen to get hats. Hero and I just spent the last 20 minutes pondering which color we want, like the decision will change our life. I like the green more, but Hero had the idea of asking Andrew, to see if we all want to wear green. But Andrew wants red. And after we got our answer, it occurred to us that we're wildly overthinking party hats and it doesn't really matter because we're gonna forget about the hats after tonight. But they do make us happy, so maybe it does matter and we're not thinking enough about it!!

In other news, apparently bapping a balloon is balloon assault, according to Hero. But I know he bapped it before.

🎵 10 little ducks went out one day, over the hill and far away. Mother duck said "Quack Quack Quack Quack" but only 9 little ducks came back.

So I finished watching Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, finally. I've been meaning to for a while. Anyway, I'm getting existential at Wyatt's birthday party, wearing a Luigi mustache and a green party hat. It's really funny, cause I'm setting here like, What if we're trapped in a show, being controlled by some outside force into various scenarios and we don't remember the past ones. And what if we're close to seeing what's outside but one shitty decision causes us to be forever trapped in a fake world where nothing ever matters and it's all a sick game of make believe.

All while I'm like this

Speaking of Wyatt's Birthday Saga, I think that was the tag, do you ever look at kids and think that any moment can be their very first memory?

And on the topic of memories, I wonder what I forgot in the past and I wonder what I will forget. I wonder if today will fall into the void of forgotten memories. I guess that's why we write stuff down and draw them and make silly posts on silly social media accounts, even if no one else will see them.

I don't know why I was so nervous to start posting. I'm just sharing my rambles. I'm not even forcing myself to be funny or interesting! I'm just sitting and rambling to myself. I like this a lot more than discord rambles. It doesn't feel like I'm shoving my thoughts in everyone's face and it's strangely not as lonely feeling as talking to an empty server.

I guess that circles back to the fact that I can't see who sees this. I can only see them if they interact.

I kind of like having no one interact. It means I haven't made something that blows up and makes my entire blog dedicated it to it for the sake of more interaction. I like having the freedom to post whatever.

I do wonder that if I do make something thay blows up, will I stop posting things like this? Will I stop posting interactions with Hero? Will I stop having fun? Do people usually stop having fun with their blogs, once something blows up? Does the majority follow the spark of interaction, or do they continue doing their own thing? How easy is it to get lost in the opinions of random people on the internet about what you post?

"We want more Sonic, post more Sonic!" What happens if you just say no. That you might return to Sonic later but he isn't bringing you joy in that moment. You can like things without posting about them. But if you say that, will everyone leave? Will they be so dissatisfied with your content that has nothing to do with Sonic, that they just go?

Seems a bit silly, doesn't it? Getting mad or upset that someone chooses their happiness over what you want posted. (Ignore the 'you' shift please.) There’s nothing wrong with unfollowing someone because you don't like their content anymore, but some people make such a big fuss over it for no reason.

I probably shouldn't be voicing my opinion on something I haven't experienced.

Anyway, I forgot what this post was originally about and I don't want to reread it.

FUCK THAT MEANS IM MATCGINH WITH OWEN

So there are 3 green party hats and 2 red party hats. The adults get gold hats and Wyatt gets a silver hat. That leaves myself, Hero, Andrew, and Owen to get hats. Hero and I just spent the last 20 minutes pondering which color we want, like the decision will change our life. I like the green more, but Hero had the idea of asking Andrew, to see if we all want to wear green. But Andrew wants red. And after we got our answer, it occurred to us that we're wildly overthinking party hats and it doesn't really matter because we're gonna forget about the hats after tonight. But they do make us happy, so maybe it does matter and we're not thinking enough about it!!

In other news, apparently bapping a balloon is balloon assault, according to Hero. But I know he bapped it before.

Sometimes I forget that I'm not a kid anymore. I can just leave. I can take my bike and go. It's so weird! It feels like I'm rebelling or something, but there are no rules to leaving.

I guess just let mom know if I'm gonna be out super late, and try to be quiet coming home.

But I'd do that anyway

maybe that's not even a rule, maybe I just made it a rule for myself. Like messaging her goodnight, when I'm away. Do I really have no rules here? If I do, why am I setting some?

Anyway, I'm sitting outside of my Poppy's house, because I felt like biking somewhere and I don't know where to go.

I'm happy I'm not a kid anymore, I can do stuff like go to the dollar store without sneaking, and I can go outside late at night, but I do kind of really miss it.. There was a lot that I didn't like growing up, but I miss the childlike wonder and discovering things for the first time and pretending to go to tutoring but actually just chilling at the back of the school. It was fun!

I didn't have a rebellious phase as a kid, unless you count the tutoring and dollar store things. I sometimes wonder if I'm living out my 18 and 19 year old years as a rebellious phase. But then it circles back to the lack of rules. So am I really being rebellious, or am I just being a college-aged kid?

I wonder if this is one of those pointless contemplations. Did I use that word right? Contemplations? I'm gonna assume I did and move on. But I wonder if this conversation I'm having with myself if pointless. Does it matter what I call this? I'm not going to change the behavior, regardless of the label.

I didn't want to bike today. I actually am supposed to do something, but I just really don't want to. I'm happy I did tho.

I should probably go do that thing, instead of sitting here. I can always sit again later, I have ti come back in a couple of hours to take care of Stella.

I have noticed that I have an awful habit of lying and excuse making. I planned out this elaborate thing to get out of a little, unimportant task, rather than just doing it. I'm already outside! I just don't want to talk to anyone. I lied earlier in this very post, as if my mom has a tumblr and will see it! She doesn't even know what Tumblr is, or how to find me on it!

Anyway, I'm procrastinating, and was about to go on another tangent about talking, so I have to go.