The Coffee Machine Broke

The Coffee Machine Broke

Sebastian: *Holding the broken coffee maker* Alright, who broke it. I’m not mad, I just want to know.

Waylon: I did, Sebastian. I broke it-

Sebastian: No, no, you didn’t. Ok, Upshur?

Miles: Don’t look at me. Look at Mercer.

Alex: What? I didn’t break it.

Miles: Huh, that’s weird- how did you even know it was broken?

Alex: *Incredious stare* Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

Miles: …Suspicious.

Alex: No, it’s not.

Desmond: If it’s matter…probably not but… Delsin was the last one to use it.

Delsin: Liar! I didn’t even drink that crap!

Desmond: Oh, really, then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Delsin: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Desmond!

Waylon: Alright, let’s not fight! I broke it; let me pay for it, Sebastian!

Sebastian: No! Who broke it?

Alex: Castellanos. Langermann has been awfully quiet.

Blake: Really?!

Alex: Yeah, really.

Waylon: Oh my God…

All: *Argue*

Sebastian: *To Aiden while everybody fights in the background* I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick… Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

On the months my research team and I were allowed to live on Earth and observe their habitat I noted the following about human young:

- human young will turn anything into a weapon to mock battle their peers, broom sticks, straws, even their food

- when in large groups human young will display games of mock hunts against each other. The two most common being “tag” where one young will try to catch the other young acting as prey, and “mob” where all of the young will try to catch a single young who acts as the prey. This suggests an instinctive ability for both pack and solo hunting

- human young will often hone their stalking and hunting skills by hiding or attempting to sneak up on others and pouncing with loud sounds meant to intimidate and frighten. This is considered amusing for the attacker and victim  

- adult humans will often mock attack their young with their hands or objects to train the young to protect their vital areas and avoid injury. The young find this amusing and will quickly learn to train each other in this manner

- young humans will often attack and attach themselves to an older human’s legs, arms, or back, hanging on despite being dragged or carried while the adult human walks away. Both humans seems to find the experience entertaining 

- young humans are extremely territorial and will attempt to drive off others from food, toys, and areas they have claimed as theirs with physical and verbal attacks. Fortunately, most adult humans actively try to train this behavior out, insisting the young come to an agreement or share resources and territory. 

- young humans constantly search for new territory, dens, and resources. They will climb trees, shelving, anything they can reach. They will climb under and behind things. If there are no suitable hiding areas they will construct them out of blankets and cushions or any other available item. 

- young humans display a strong pack instinct, quickly forming social groups and defending their group against other groups. Often they will split their own group in order to mock battle each other in contests

- HUMAN YOUNG WILL BITE IF DISTRESSED OR ANGRY AND EMIT LOUD NOISES THAT CALL MATURE HUMANS TO AID THEM

- human young will beg for domesticated carnivores as companions, and if gifted with one will pack bond with it to an extreme point.

- human young will carry a toy and try to protect and nurture it as if the toy was their own young

- human young require constant stimulation in the form of games or information. They will constantly question things and can spend extraordinary amounts of time asking “why”, often while poking the subject in question

- human young will try to eat anything at least once. Anything. If it will fit into their mouth they will attempt to eat it. If it will not fit into their mouth they will lick it. 

-human young will voluntarily deprive themselves of oxygen to the point of unconsciousness in an attempt to trigger protective instincts in older humans so they get their way

- human young display great interest in mimicry, often dressing up as different professions, species, and objects. They also display great skill in mimicking the calls and body language of other species.        *Example: one human young had me quite concerned there was another Treawalbil in distress and I searched for quite some time before I discovered that the young was mimicking a Treawalbil distress trill with complete accuracy.       *Second Example: Human young have begun to wear wear “hats” with artificial crests similar to a Treawalbil and some have begun painting colorful patterns to their arms in imitation of our camouflage. 

- human young communicate constantly and spread information quickly not only among their own social group but other social groups as well.     *Example: The human young who mimicked a Treawalbil distress trill taught their social group and soon I was surrounded by human young calling out in distress. This caused the Treawalbil researchers much anxiety so the adult humans suggested teaching the young other calls. The human young learned enough for basic communication at an astonishing rate, but then other social groups we had not taught began using the same calls as well. Even adult humans began using the calls to communicate with us without translators. 

- Young humans will gift beings and creatures they believe to be in their social group with handmade objects, interesting specimens they have collected, or food. Strangely enough, a being does not have to be human in order to belong to a human’s social group. 

A doodle and a comic idea

Guys dreams are weird

I had this dream where Markiplier was in my room playing some video game

(I remember watching Gloom play the game I just forgot what it was called)

to cheer me up and after he managed to do that he was making a bunch of jokes and allowing me to take a pic cuz I wanted to brag to my friend about him being here but instead I just keep getting us weird pics of animal crossing which made us go into their world. After being separated from Mark I tried seducing this deer lady into letting me buy her coffee shop for my village. Than my parents suddenly appeared and made me go to GameStop to where my mom won't stop complaining about need tampons, my dad agree to get her some and just disappeared. So I went to buy a ds game and the workers there thought I was suicidal because of that so they made me sit down next to this dude who totally killed someone to talk about my feelings. So in the end I managed to get away by getting them to talk about trollhunters.

*dies *