Post Script

Post Script

Anger is a really nice welcome change from crushing nihilistic emptiness.

Read through the correction.

Note to my ex.

Today my professor told me every cell in our entire body is destroyed and replaced every seven years. How comforting it is to know that one day I will have a body that you will have never touched.

Is it any wonder?

TW - self harm

When he was in his early teens, he confessed to his parents that he had urges to hurt himself.  He wanted to take one of his hunting knives and plunge it into his gut.

I’m not a mother, so maybe I don’t know, but if my kid came up to me and told me he was having a hard time not gutting himself, I’m pretty sure we’d be dropping everything and going to the hospital to get some professional help.

They took away his hunting knives.  That’s it.

I got cast!

Reclaiming

I auditioned for a play on Saturday. If I am cast it will be my first time back on stage in almost 3 years.

Taking another one back.

A Big Event

I was going to try to wait until closer to the actual anniversary to release a series of posts about being cut off. But then I realized it’s been all consuming for a few days and I need it out of my brain. 

In the evening of October 20, 2017, I performed my daily duty of driving from home after deciding on a healthy meal option to a restaurant to pick up take out.  From there I drove to the outskirts of town to the new shop he worked at to bring him lunch.  I’d have to meet him in the parking lot of a coffee shop down the road, though, because he didn’t want any of his coworkers to see me.

I was still an embarrassment to him.

I got into his car, greeted him warmly and cautiously handed him his lunch .  He glared at me, opened the bag, saw his food and then screamed “Stay the fuck away from me!!!”

I promptly got out of his car.  Stunned.  He kept the food of course.

Behold. My empire of scraps.

I can scrape a life together from ashes and crumbs.