I Have So Much To Say But No Way To Say It.

i have so much to say but no way to say it.

later, i say

in a minute or two, maybe three?

i'll wait some more.

its been a year. 

a year has gone by.

later, i say

five minutes? years?

who knows....

later, i say

and now it's late enough...

i want to bleed

I want to bleed till I can't anymore

I want to swim, to float, to die in my own blood

I want to drown in it,

to fade into it and become a part of the blood that was once a part of me

I want to see red

in every way possible

I want to bleed until the red in my eyes covers my whole being

till the world is red

and I'm the only one who exists

the sky will be red

the walls will be red

and once all this is done

I'll take one last breath

and I won't bleed anymore

i want to go back to sleeping the whole entire day because i lost so much weight when i did

and when you leave, i'll still be here

i don't think i can waste another year getting in my own way