30 Heal Your Inner Child Affirmations

30 Heal Your Inner Child Affirmations 🧸🍭💛✨

I am worthy of love and acceptance.

My feelings are valid and important.

I forgive my past and embrace my present.

I am deserving of happiness and joy.

I am safe and protected.

I trust the journey of healing.

My inner child is resilient and strong.

I am in control of my life now.

I release old wounds and embrace healing.

I am enough, just as I am.

I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

I am capable of creating a life I love.

I am surrounded by love and support.

I am proud of who I am becoming.

I am deserving of all good things.

I am healing more and more every day.

I am open to receiving love and care.

I am connected to my inner wisdom.

I am free from the burdens of my past.

I am brave and courageous.

I am deserving of inner peace.

I am in charge of my own happiness.

I am worthy of trust and understanding.

I am loved for who I am.

I am constantly growing and evolving.

I am deserving of a life filled with joy.

I am a beacon of light and hope.

I am deserving of comfort and security.

I am in a continuous process of healing.

I am embracing my inner child with love and compassion.

their last dream of you ☁️🔒

Y’all know how obsessed I am with King George and Queen Charlotte and I’m equally as obsessed with period pieces, especially romance ones. I watched the whole show some time ago and I loved it so much and I felt it really resonated with me and reminded me of my divine masculine and I’m so tempted to watch it again because it’s so beautiful and they love each other so much against all odds so that’s why I chose them for my banner today and chose to use hands with loving energy from period pieces for my pile choices. I’m about to start giggling lmaoo, I’ve got all this bubbling nervous energy about this reading I know it’s going to be a good one. Okay, enough of my useless rambling, I talk too much feel free to skip over this! Love you, enjoy! 💛

***

i.

Omg, I'm gonna start yelling!! I haven't even shuffled out the cards but someone part of this collective as well as their person is very sentimental. Someone really loves someone in such a timeless manner. In every lifetime, in every era, in every universe, a great love is shared here. Like I feel that ache in my chest that you get when you really really love someone and want to be near them. I really want to say buttons are significant, someone collects something or is prone to or has a tiny habit of holding onto things, even the tiniest most minuscule of things because it's in their nature to hold on and not let go. Someone could have a level of childhood trauma here too, a lack of instability makes them feel unsafe or they may struggle sometimes when they don't have all the answers or don't know what all is going on because it makes them feel very afraid and anxious and I hear someone is going through this right now.

You could be in separation with your divine counterpart and your person is mirroring you. I'm hearing “Don't misunderstand them. Don't judge them harshly or hold their actions to their spirit.” just because they're not speaking to you right now or just because things aren't extremely clear doesn't mean they don't love you or want to be with you and wouldn't go to the ends of the world for you. You know them as you know yourself because they are you. Show them mercy. Offer them compassion because I know how you love them and I know you couldn't really truly be upset with them even if you tried because you love this person so deeply and if you ever are upset it's only because you're afraid of not receiving the outcome you desire.

Oh, and you know what in the show Queen Charlotte there's this really cute part where George says that he's good with buttons. This person is good at the things you have trouble with, and this person really compliments and completes you, I'm hearing from this message that this person also wants to tell you that they appreciate everything you do for them and they think everything you do is perfect and beautiful. You could make no mistakes, you could do no wrong you're this person's angel. I haven't even shuffled the cards yet, this energy is SO strong I'm channeling from the heart to you. Ceramics, arts and crafts, or a fondness for aesthetics and the arts (music, dance, singing, etc) can be very significant to this group. Your person wants to enjoy the things you enjoy. I can't stop channeling, this person has so much they wanna say to you. HELP!!! 🆘!! Okay. I’m gonna actually start. Doing it in the form of a channeled message from your person about their last dream about you.

This person wants to speak to you through music by the way or they speak to you through music and through lyrics this person wants to tell you, especially if you have a playlist about them or if there’s music you’ve shared with them or they’ve shared with you to listen to it because they’re listening to it. “Please listen to it.” Something is coming in about the way this person talks to you on the phone or the things they call you “my love.” There was a time you talked to this person on the phone and their voice, their words, almost took you out the game. I had to get it off my chest I’m sorry! They’re like wanting to say so much.

This persons message about their last dream about you:

“I dreamt that I finally learned how to follow my heart and that I was finally the man (person) I wanted to be all this time for me and for you. In my dream, I finally got away from all the things that kept me away and kept me hurt and drained. Everything was changing. In the past I tried so hard to control my feelings for you and how things went because I was too scared to lose you if I tried to come to you and really put my all into us and our connection. I dreamt that finally was strong and I was able to come towards you and I did, everything was possible, everything was okay and I made things right. I said I was sorry and I told you how much I love you and how much I want to be with you and I did exactly that. I made a choice to be with you and it was the best choice I ever made.

I was free. I found freedom. I finally got away from all those karmic people and karmic cycles that I had trouble getting rid of in my waking life and I made time to focus on you, to focus on us. We spent lots of time together, and we went out and did things and learned things together. In my dream, we went to go do art together and we sat on the beach together and we just held each other and it was beautiful. And you looked so beautiful like you always do when you come to see me. I felt your skin, I could feel your breath on my neck when you hugged me, I could hear the sound of your heart when I laid down on your chest, and I heard your voice. And you laughed with me and you told me how much you loved me and about all the things you wanted to do together and I felt so loved and appreciated. I know that nobody loves me the way you do, I understand now.

In my dream, I finally had the courage to stop living for others and start living for myself and go after the things I want. I dream of you every night. Every day, I walk around in a dream state, thinking of you and you're motivating me even though you’re not here, I know I love you because you aren’t doing anything and I feel so drawn to you. While I’m asleep, I can feel your kiss. I feel the warmth of your lips on my mine and I miss it. I miss kissing you and holding you. I’m so afraid that you’re moving on from me or that you’re going to leave me. Please don’t leave. You’re my moon. I feel so blessed to be loved by you. In my dream, I dreamt that we were happy and we were married and had children together and had all the things you told me you had wanted. I remember all the things you said. In my dream, the past, those people, old versions of our connections, the pain, the fear, was all gone. It didn’t exist anymore.”

About to start crying for real. This person feels like crying, they've been crying. I'm like at a loss for words I'm typing one single letter per minute right now- hold on to your hope pile one. Justice is coming.

***

ii.

Pile one was so big, I feel so guilty, I feel like I spoiled them. But anyway, I'm gonna do this in the form of a channeled message, your person is going to tell about their dreams of you. I'm getting immediately that this person really craves you pile two or they crave your touch. This person has deep romantic undertones for you, so much gentleness, compassion, and love but recently something has really made them wanna get down with you. I didn't think any of these readings were gonna take this turn but I just see this person fast asleep late at night thinking of how close to you their gonna get when they get the chance. I see this person really missing you. They may feel you spiritually and they may really love you emotionally but they want so badly to hold you, to be near you, their losing their minds trying to contain themselves waiting for the next time they see you in person. You've stirred up so much love in this person that they have nothing more to do with it than put it on you. They can't think of another way to show you their appreciation except to show you just how much they appreciate you.

I hear this person thinking to themselves and even telling others in the past or trying to describe to you the way they feel when they're near you and it's impossible. You light a fire within this person. They don't know what to do with all of it because there's plenty. This person could burn entire cities to the ground with the amount of fire they have within themselves because of you. It's greater than arousal. Don't get me wrong, this person is very much attracted to you, very much wants to be intimate with you but this person feels that heavy sensation in their chest about you, they feel their sacral chakra begin to activate, they feel the heat rising. If you've ever heard the song Melting by Kali Uchis. And I’m hearing this person saying that nobody can make them feel this way. This person wants to fuse souls with you. This person knows that you’re their person. You could’ve not seen this person in a long time, even if they’ve seen you recently I hear them telling me it’s all the same. They cry when you’re not around, they don’t like it when they can’t see you. “Why do I cry” by Margo Guryan is a good representation of this persons feelings.

This persons message about their last dream about you:

“I dreamt that we finally reconciled and decided to try to have everything we’d ever dreamed of with each other. I dreamt that we talked and we had forgiven each other. You’d forgiven me. I’d forgiven you. Our past was behind us and we finally were ready to move forward and see things from a different perspective. We saw that everything we’d been through, everything we feared, all the pain we felt, and all the times we were in separation were all a part of the divine plan all along and for a good reason. I dreamt that finally, we loved ourselves the way we loved one another, I dreamt that we were confident and we had finally come into ourselves and our power and knew what we came here to do and knew that we loved each other and would not ever want to spend our lives or our time with anyone else.

I dreamt that finally we were in alignment with each other and the disconnection had ended and we didn’t have to struggle anymore. Outside of each other, with other people, outside of ourselves with our fears and our beliefs and feelings. I dreamt that we were finally doing everything we said we’d do and that we finally had it within ourselves to put all of our ambition and all of our dreams to good use in all aspects. I dreamt that you had abundance and you’d found your happiness and your purpose and I dreamt that I overcame all my fears and finally was able to do what I was meant to do and achieve all my goals. I dreamt that we were abundant and happy and successful. All of our dreams and wishes came true. And in all, we had each other and that’s what mattered most.

I dreamt of how beautiful it felt to be loved by you, I dreamt of being made love to by you. I dreamt of your kisses, of your touch, of your body heat. I felt your eyelashes against my cheek, I could run my fingers through your hair, I remembered in my dream what it felt like to look into your eyes and how nervous and flustered that always made me. I remembered how much I love you. How you made me feel. How irreplaceable you are. I remembered how much I needed you for me. How unable I would be to ever be satisfied and content without your love and your presence. I miss your hands. I miss holding your hand. In my waking life, I wonder why you haven’t texted or called. When I wake up from a dream about you I find myself calling out your name or expecting you wholeheartedly to be there because the dream of you is a very real and vivid experience that can’t be denied. I’m sad when I wake up in the morning and you’re not there. It makes me feel like I’m in love with a ghost. I feel you, I hear you, but I can’t see you.

I feel you so strongly. My intuition tells me you’re near. I can’t shake the feeling. All I feel is raw emotion. You’ve left a big gaping hole in my heart that nobody else can fill the shape of but you.”

Let’s all just sit down together and cry. Pile two, your person is giving off this nervous energy. Their so nervous it’s like they’re almost embarrassed by how much they love you and how attracted to you they feel. This person is just a little melty puddle around you. That could be significant. Them melting into a puddle lol they may have told you something like that before. Ugh. Breathe. Take deep breaths!! Everytime I finish the channeled message for a pile, I almost don’t want to start the other group. I don’t want to leave. I hear this person hides from you pile two, they hide how much they feel or they hide the effect you have on them because you make them so nervous. This person may look away from you when they speak to you because if they look at you they'll cry. Or this person really loves your eyes and the way you look at them makes them feel so vulnerable and weak in the knees. This is def a music group. Getting “weak” by SWV. Ugh. Unhand me immediately y'all are making me so nervous. I don't wanna talk to you anymore.

***

iii.

GirlUH! -, I had to take a deep breath and go scroll around on TikTok and consume a bunch of nonsense just so I can have a break and pull myself together after piles one and two. Forgive me. I feel like I've been ambushed.

This person could really feel like they miss you or haven’t fully been able to let you go. I’m getting “still think bout u” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie. This person could've been hurt by you in the past or experienced a lot of heartbreak in your connection but still hasn’t fully been able to release your relationship and let you go although you and this person may have been broken up for a while here if you and this person are separated and not together. I feel very antsy and nervous energy coming through with this person but it’s so strong that it almost makes me want to ignore it or push it down out of fear. This person may suppress or repress their own emotions and then try to up-level themselves or spend time with other people or throw themselves into work to try and make themselves feel better when they’re in pain. Their technique is to be productive and I hear this isn’t working for this person. This person wants to see you pile three they feel like they have no other choice but to be with you even though you hurt them because that’s the only way they see the pain going away.

There’s a complicated energy here and for some of you, you’re like “…” like you don’t want to hear from this person because they may have broken your heart too or caused you pain too and you’re like over it but you feel them tugging on your energy or manifesting you... you may know this person is going through shifts here or isn’t the same and they sense that within themselves or the people around them sense that they aren’t the same. They keep looking for ways to take the edge off and not have to think about you anymore and it’s not working. This person may reflect on memories you have together or the happiness and safety they felt when you were around despite some sort of hardship within your connection. This person is conflicted and is sending you their energy for you to feel because they want you to feel it with them. I avoided starting this pile for a fat minute too. Like I was like “I'm not ready, I'm not ready.” You have this person nervous...

You and this person could’ve hurt each other or not have ended well or there was something that happened that left this person feeling bad about themselves and feeling unhealed and unsafe. I see a situation where they might’ve been vengeful and tried to get back at you for something or could’ve done something bad or deceptive and you called it quits and this person didn’t really expect you to leave for real or leave things so quickly and wash your hands of the situation. I'm SICK!! LOL, this person is sick, you're sick or you were. Sick of this. Sick of the way they feel.

This persons message about their last dream about you:

“I dreamt that I was working and trying to balance out my life and take things and myself seriously. I dreamt that I was a better man (woman). I want to be a better man (woman). I want to feel secure in whole within myself. I dreamt that Id achieved all the things that id been manifesting, everything physical and tangible but still I didn't feel fulfilled and I remembered all the things you'd told me about how the things we want aren't really about the things we want and the feelings that we’d feel if we had them. I'd dreamt that even in all my accolades love was missing and safety was missing and you represent that for me even though you hurt me and I caused you pain too. And in my waking life, I sometimes think about you and I sometimes miss you even still, even after everything but I know you're done with me and it’s best I just stay away. I've been sending you messages, or trying to manifest you so that you could remember our relationship and the good things we had and maybe forgive me and miss me too but I feel your resistance. I feel that you know my presence in your mind is not your own doing.

I dreamt that my manifestations were successful and that you came to me and told me that you missed me and wanted to talk to me again even after all this time apart. In my dream, you told me that you felt the same way like all the work you've done so far had been for nothing if we didn't have each other, and that you wanted to grow with me and work on what happened between us and that we would be together this time and be happy with each other. In my dream, you felt in your heart that we were meant to be and so you were motivated to come forward. To come to me. There was so much possibility for improvement. I was so glad. And we talked about our memories together and our experiences together and they weren’t all for nothing. They meant something to you. They meant something to us.

In my dream, any competition that existed, anyone who you were with you decided you didn’t want to be with anymore and you wanted to be with me and we were going to build together and be successful together. And I told you how I understood everything you said to me before and how much I had learned from you and how much you meant to me all this time and I told you how sorry I was and how hard for me it was to try and replace you and be happy without you. We were gonna be together. Everything was going to be okay. You had forgiven me. We’d forgiven each other.”

I hear this person having a lot of wishful thinking, they have this fantasy in their minds of what things could be like if they wanted to settle down and be in love and I think that you played a huge role in being a primary example of what that was to them but I think they let you and your relationship slip through their fingers perhaps. They may not have been the best to you, may have closed themselves off or cheated on you or broke your trust due to you accidentally causing them pain or giving them a hard time in the past. And I think this person is still very much attatched to you and the idea of you and in their own minds they love you. And I say in their own minds because I don't believe you believe this pile three after their behavior.

What's really interesting is the significance of pride and prejudice coming up. You could’ve watched this movie with this person or tried to share this film with this person during a rough time in your relationship and the way they reacted to you or the film may be significant but I also think that the characters are significant. Mr. Darcy has a horrible way of showing that he loves someone and communicating and he does things that can be really hurtful and do hurt Elizabeth and she’s like absolutely completely expressive that she does not want to be with this man under any circumstances (even though she does) and his half-assed attempt to come towards her and express himself (even though it was really good for his character because you know..) turns out being successful and Elizabeth ends up giving him a second chance and marrying him just as he had asked her to because she loves him but like you’re not Elizabeth and you’re not going to settle for the bare minimum and be like WELL, he said he was sorry!! BOO! YOU WHORE! 🍅🍅🍅! I love pride and prejudice I really do but at the same time. Elizabeth deserved more. Anyways anyways I’m getting carried away.

***

Hope these were enlightening and you enjoyed these. Def gonna need a nap to recover from these. I love you so much and I appreciate all the support I've gotten with the readings and me sharing my gifts with you. I racked up a decent following on here off of opinions and aesthetics but I hadn't realized how much of myself I’d been hiding away. I'm excited for what more I can share. Anyways, if you ever want a personal reading from me you could go to my Instagram either @cooki3face or @cookiefacetarot on Instagram and click the link in my bio <3 bye, my hands have permanent dents in them now from typing for so long!

cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— ✩ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆

a 95 line series inspired by my favourite songs

status: yet to start writing

general tags: fluff, angst, suggestive content, swearing.

about: in which choi seungcheol, yoon jeonghan and joshua hong fall in love with someone under three different circumstances.

- 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲 - 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶 𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗹

“i can make you hate me for everything, but i can’t make you come back to me.”

synopsis: in which you didn’t listen to the warnings and fell in love with seungcheol, without knowing that it would be your biggest mistake.

w/c: x

genre: second chance romance, idol!au, ‘it was always you’ trope

- 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 - 𝘆𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗮𝗻

“and it’s new, the shape of your body, it’s blue, the feeling i’ve got and it’s a cruel summer.”

synopsis: in which you went to your honeymoon with your ex-fiancé’s older brother, yoon jeonghan.

w/c: x

genre: ex’s brother, enemies to lovers, fake marriage of some sorts, ceo!jeonghan

- 𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗼𝘂𝘀 - 𝗷𝗼𝘀𝗵𝘂𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗴

“you’re so gorgeous i can’t say anything to your face, cause look at your face.”

synopsis: as the daughter of a big conglomerate family, you knew you were to marry someone your parents chose but you never expected that person to be joshua hong.

w/c: x

genre: arranged marriage, ceo trope, marriage of convenience

nia’s notes: im so excited for this series tbh. although i have yet to start writing, posting this list makes me so happy.

want to be added to the taglist? send me an ask!

to indulge myself

do you ever wonder

how it would be if i were to

indulge myself with you

how it would feel

if i were able to shower you with love

how it would sound

if i were able to scream your name across campus

how it would look

if we were able to hold hands

because i do wonder

i wonder how it would’ve turned out

if you were also

in love

with me

Hey can i request for pau cubarsi ?

This guy has really be creepin on me seeing him in the matches with all those tackles and the intent he has been playing with makes me feel things. The plot is upto you it could be anything..

Thanks 💗. Also i love waking upto ur writings

SUNDAY SNUGGLES - PAU CUBARSÍ

A lazy sunday in bed with Pau

Pau Cubarsí x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The morning sun cast a soft, golden glow through the bedroom window, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere.

It was one of those lazy Sunday mornings where time seemed to slow down, and there was nowhere to be except right here, in bed.

I lay nestled beneath the covers, the gentle rise and fall of Pau’s chest against mine serving as the perfect lullaby.

His head rested comfortably on my chest, his hands resting on my waist, rubbing softly in a soothing rhythm.

The occasional rustle of the sheets was the only sound in the room, punctuated by the soft, contented snores of our little dachshund, who was curled up beside us.

Pau’s fingers grazed my skin with tender movements, sending pleasant shivers up my spine. I responded by softly scratching his back, my other hand gently playing with his tousled hair.

His hair was a bit tousled from sleep, and my fingers threaded through the soft strands as I lightly tugged and twirled them.

“Mmm,” Pau murmured, stirring slightly but not quite fully awake. “I could get used to this.”

I smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “You and me both. This is perfect.”

He nuzzled closer, pressing a tender kiss to my chest. “You know, this is the best way to spend a Sunday morning. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

I chuckled softly, running my fingers through his hair. “Yeah, It’s nice to just relax and enjoy each other’s company.”

Pau’s eyes fluttered open, and he glanced up at me with a sleepy but adoring look. “And look at this little furball,” he said, nodding toward our dog, who was nestled comfortably beside us. “Our tiny snuggler.”

I looked down at our dachshund, who was blissfully curled up with his tiny head resting on his paws. “He’s loving this as much as we are.”

Pau’s hand moved to gently pat the dog’s back. “He’s the best little cuddle buddy. Just like his parents.”

I laughed softly. “Oh, so we’re the ‘parents’ now, huh?”

“Of course,” Pau said with a grin, playfully nuzzling closer. “We have to set a good example for him. Lots of cuddles and relaxation.”

Our dog let out a contented sigh and shifted slightly, pressing closer to Pau. I continued to scratch his back, and Pau responded by shifting his head to place gentle kisses on my chest and shoulder. “This little guy has got the right idea,” he said with a sleepy smile.

“Cuddling all day is a great life.”

“And eating and sleeping,” I added, grinning. “He’s living the dream.”

Pau’s fingers traced gentle patterns on my waist, and he looked up at me with a smile. “So, what’s the plan for today?”

I sighed contentedly, considering the question. “Honestly, just more of this. Maybe some breakfast in bed later, but for now, I’m perfectly happy right here.”

“Breakfast sounds good,” Pau said, his eyes drifting shut again. “But I’m not moving for a while. I’m too cozy.”

“Agreed,” I said softly. “Why rush when we have all day to enjoy?”

“Exactly,” he murmured, pulling me closer. “And when we finally do get up, we’ll have to give our little buddy a bath. He’s been rolling around in the garden a bit too much.”

I chuckled, looking down at our dog. “He’s so content right now; he doesn’t even know we’re talking about his bath.”

Pau laughed quietly. “He’s not worried about it. He’s too busy enjoying his Sunday snuggles.”

I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Pau’s forehead, my heart swelling with affection. “You know, I’m really grateful for mornings like this. It’s the perfect way to end the week.”

Pau’s eyes opened again, and he looked up at me with a soft smile. “Me too, amor, me too.”

We both let out contented sighs, savoring the warmth and intimacy of the moment. Our dog gave a soft yawn and shifted slightly, as if to say he agreed.

With one last sigh, Pau pulled me a little closer, his arms wrapping around me tightly. “Here’s to many more Sundays like this.”

The Bat & Dove - Jeno Mafia (racer) x fem reader

Synopsis: In the public’s eye, NCT was just like any other celebrity agency with some of the neos being actors, famous racers, athletes, and other public figures. Jeno was one of the racers of NCT in front of the public but behind all of the public’s eye and cameras was an introverted yet smart racer who could memorise every single track that he had been on and could calculate anything he targeted. But one thing that he couldn’t figure out was his feelings towards a certain modest girl.

Warnings: Floof before the storm, cursing, drug usage, kidnapping inflicting pain, illegal fight, racing, near rape themes, angst, torture

A/N: I swear Jeno has suddenly gotten me writing a long-ass fic for him and about mafia :)) I ain't complaining cause The Bat Video and Performance is just 🤌🏼 Also, if any of you have been here since my first few NCT fics, this is a slight spin-off of Taeyong x Medic Girl fic (my 3rd NCT fanfic). And now, your author shall go back and figure out another fic whilst attending SMtown on Saturday :]

Taeyong x Medic Girl: pt 1

Never did you think that in your whole life, you would be flying in a first-class seat heading towards Milan, Italy with your boyfriend of one year, Jeno Lee, the famous racer in South Korea. The one who would always win the race no matter the circumstances.

You and Jeno met almost 2 years ago when you were working part-time for your local cafe and had to cover for your friend who always does the night shift. It was your first night shift and everything was going well until you had to close up for the night.

You were taking out the trash when there were a gang of drunk college students who tried to touch you when you clearly had no energy to fight back. Luckily enough, Jeno and his friends were right around the corner when it happened and something about that night, Jeno who is typically a rather quiet, introverted member of NCT decided to fight back.

Jeno managed to stop the college students before they did anything further. Jeno looked over towards you and nudged you to go back inside of the cafe which you did without questioning him. Not long after, Jeno came into the cafe to check up on you.

Seeing his slightly bruised knuckles, you told Jeno to sit down and helped clean his injuries and wounds. After that incident, Jeno decided to watch you from afar whenever you had night shift and the rest was basically history.

You weren’t someone who came from an elite family at all. Instead, you came from a simple family that earns slightly more than enough to live. When you met Jeno, you were in your final semester of university and working part-time to earn some sort of whereas he was already a well-known racer in the country.

Shortly after you graduated, Jeno asked you to be his girlfriend and even managed to help you get a job that pays you well to help your parents. Even though you can earn on your own now, Jeno would still shower you with gifts that you had always wanted and more. Jeno would also often invite you to hang out with him and his friends, to get to know his group so that you would have some company whenever you attend his races.

But this time, it was an international race and Jeno insisted that you come because he had an extra ticket to watch his racing but also he wanted you to be able to explore other parts of the world with him. You were always there for him after a long day and would always take care of him without knowing much and he wants to return the favour. But also seeing you smile just brightens Jeno’s day.

Upon reaching the hotel, Jeno asked if you were alright to stay and sleep in the same room with him because he’s worried whenever you’re alone which you were alright but you nervously told him that you had never slept on the same bed with a guy before.

“Don’t worry, love. If you’re nervous, I can ask to change our room to two separate beds. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I just worry whenever you’re alone but I promise that I’ll give you all the privacy you need” Jeno mentioned, putting both your suitcases as you explore the huge room that you’re not used to at all

“Jen, there’s no need to. I trust you. I trust that you won’t cross my boundaries. Plus, this room is huge, there’s more than enough space to have some sort of privacy” you replied, looking out the view from the balcony of the room

“I’m glad that you trust me so much. I promise that I’ll make this trip unforgettable” Jeno mumbled, back hugging you as he kissed the side of your temple, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck

Because you were staying for a full week, the first 2 days were just filled with you and Jeno exploring the city, occasionally getting lost together but stumbled upon some sort of local cafe or even park. By the 3rd day, Jeno had his race and had already been preparing since early in the morning, not forgetting to kiss your forehead and left a note before he left.

Waking up to a lighter bed, you found a box with a note attached to it. “I got it before I asked you to come with me because either way, you would eventually come. I hope that you’ve been enjoying your holiday because I know that I have. You have always been so caring and loving to me. I know that I’ve spoiled you here and there but just this one time, throughout our time in Milan, let me spoil you like a princess. Let me show you how much I care and adore you because I know that you’re the one for me. Go on, princess, put on your gown and come to be my good luck charm so that I can show you how much you mean to me” - your little puppy disguised as a wolf

Opening the box, you were shocked to see a gorgeous white buttoned dress matched with a simple handbag and shoes. Taking a picture of the box and note, you sent it to Jeno who almost replied immediately and texted you that he had hair & makeup on their way along with breakfast. Jeno also mentioned to Renjun, Yangyang, and Shotaro would be there to pick you up since Haechan and Jaemin were with him.

After you’ve gotten your hair & makeup done, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, it was Renjun, Yangyang and Shotaro, just as Jeno mentioned. You thanked the hair & makeup team as they left your room as the 3 men waited for you to finish your breakfast which you offered to them.

“Don’t worry about us, we already had breakfast a while ago” Renjun mentioned

“Are you excited to see Jeno race in an international competition?” Yangyang asked and you shyly nod. “Jeno was right when he said that you were shy. But it’s alright. Just enjoy yourself during this trip. Come on, let’s go!! The race is gonna start soon” Yangyang exclaimed as you took your things and headed out with the 3 males.

Arriving at the racing track, you and the 3 males went to the designated seat which were in a nice middle spot to see the entire track and you could even see your boyfriend getting ready by the pit stop with his other friends, Jaemin and Haechan.

As the announcer mentioned that the race was about to start, all the racers went to their designated cars to get ready to race.

Jeno’s POV

“Remember, it’s that one over there, number 712. The copycat as I like to name them” Haechan mentioned, nudging towards the racer and car that was already by the track

“Hmm. I’ve been eyeing them since the moment they stepped foot in this place” I replied, putting on his glove and taking my helmet from Jaemin

“Don’t interact when unnecessary. We’re just here to make sure that they’re not going to pull anything today. But just in case, there’s an emergency box underneath your seat. Plus, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo hyung are in the area to watch over” Jaemin mentioned

“I know. I’m not worried about what’ll happen to us. I’m more worried about (y/n)” I mentioned, turning around to see (y/n) in the crowd with the others

“She’ll be alright. The 3 of them are with her. Yangyang is a skilful shooter, Shotaro is amazing in combat and Renjun is a doctor + hacker. Plus, as Jaemin mentioned, our three reliable hyungs are here. There’s nothing to worry about” Haechan mentioned, shrugging

“Keep an eye on their team, I’ll deal with the driver” I replied, putting on my helmet and driving towards the track

Before the race actually started, I kept a close eye on the target that Taeyong-hyung instructed.

Flashback

“I received news that our copycat gang will be racing in the Italian Grand Prix which you will also be attending along with the 00 liners” Taeyong mentioned, pushing the information towards me

“What do you need us to do? Kill them? Kidnap them? Take them down? Expose them?” I questioned, flipping through all the information that Taeyong gave

“They’re known as a fraud. They tend to pretend to be one of our gang because no one truly knows who is part of our main gang like you in Dream, WayV, 127, aside from me, Mark and Kun being the leaders since it would only just be the 3 of us whenever we go to meetings. Take them down. Expose them as the frauds they are. But don’t. kill. them.” Taeyong mentioned and I closed the information looking back at our leader

“Why would you think that I would kill them?” I asked, raising my eyebrow

“Because you’re going with your girlfriend. And I’m sure that whatever happens to her, you’re not going to sit tight. You’re probably going to see red everywhere and without thinking, you might actually kill one of them upon sight. I know my members, Jeno. You’re one of them that never misses a shot. You’re also quiet and reserved but you pay attention to every detail. That’s why nothing ever gets missed by you. Especially when it comes to your girlfriend” Taeyong explained, sipping on his coffee

“Nothing will happen to her. And how did you know that I was going to bring (y/n)?!” I asked

“Like I said, I know my members. But take it from someone who also has a significant other whilst being part of this, even though my girlfriend is part of our world, one thing for sure is that we will never be alright with them getting hurt. But the job is just as important, Jeno. I’m not saying that you neglect your girlfriend. I just want you to know that unless it’s just the two of you or it’s a completely cornered situation, don’t abandon or change your mission. I also have DoJaeJung to come with you since they’ll be attending their respective brands’ event” Taeyong mentioned. “So, I hope to not hear any killing. Not until you bring them back to me alive at least” Taeyong added on

Back to the Present

As I remembered my conversation with Taeyong hyung, the race finally started and I stepped on the gas, hard. Not only was my goal to win this race but I wasn’t going to let some frauds use our group’s name and get all the credit. No, I was going to make them look bad.

As I was halfway through my laps, I started to hear that other drivers and their cars were being hijacked and thus injuring the drivers. “Jen, that copycat of a group hijacked the other cars since they were the first to come. But Jaemin and I have already checked your car and removed everything that wasn’t supposed to be there. Yet, it looks like he knows that nothing is happening to your car so he’s catching up on you” I heard Haechan comment in my ear-in

“They don’t know that we’re actually part of NCT, right?” I asked, eyeing from my mirror and seeing the 712 guy catching up

“Nope. Just as Taeyong-hyung mentioned, they only know that you’re Lee Jeno the undefeatable racer from South Korea. They have no idea that you’re the Jeno Lee from NCT” Haechan replied

“Good. I’ll give them something to be worried about” I scoffed, stepping on the gas and seeing that 712 was still catching up through my left side and was leaning in until I saw the opportunity and put my car in reverse and went past their car as they hit the wall and I continued on and win the race

Going out of my car, I took off my helmet and was welcomed with a big hug from Haechan and Jaemin along with a wild roar from the crowd as the announcer announced that I was the winner. After taking a bow towards the crowd, I scanned through them and saw (y/n) who looked relieved to see me. Her smile was something that I noticed made me feel better throughout the past few days here and I would never want that genuine smile to ever turn to something else in a split second.

After the award ceremony was over, I shook hands with the other racers, thanking them for a good race up until Mr. 721 came and ruined the mood.

“Lee Jeno, is it?” 721 exclaimed, his team was trying to hold him back as Jaemin, Haechan and I just looked at them with a bored yet annoyed look that intimidated them

“Yes. And you are?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow

“The name is Brad. My team and I are part of NCT of the US branch” Brand proclaimed as Haechan scoffed

“Do you even know what NCT is? It’s South Korea’s mafia gang that managed to get the other mafia gang in the world at peace with how diverse the members are” Haechan explained as Jaemin slightly elbowed him

“Of course we know that. How do you think they were able to expand to the US? It was because of us. I just want to let you know that what you did back there was not cool and just you wait until the rest of our members here about this” Brand exclaimed

“Then why did you try to close in on me first? You were the one who started it, I was just merely getting myself away from any potential risks that could happen because of you. So don’t go around and blame me for what you started” I scoffed, slightly towering over the self-proclaimed NCT member

“Jeno!” I heard Renjun exclaim and as we all turned around, we saw Renjun, Yangyang, Shotaro and (y/n) coming towards us

“Is, is it a bad time?” I heard (y/n) mumbled but I softly grabbed her hand and rubbed her hand

“No, don’t worry. We were just done here” I replied, giving (y/n) my signature smile

“It was a good race, Brad. Hope that what happened today won’t happen ever again” I mentioned as I pull (y/n) to my side as all of us left the track

Back at the hotel, we all went to freshen up and had dinner together to celebrate my win and all but just being with (y/n) eases my clouded thoughts of Chad and the way that he looked at (y/n) when she came with the other members.

“Jen, eat up. You must be tired” (y/n) mentioned, nudging a spoon of mashed potatoes towards me which I smiled and ate the food she fed me

“Don’t worry babe, I was just driving, am not tired at all” I smiled at her as I fed her some pasta which she happily eat, showing off her little chipmunk cheeks

“Still, you woke up so early for the race. Eat up and then rest, okay?” (y/n) mentioned and I nodded

“Don’t talk about me when you haven’t eaten much at all young lady. I will not have you going back home without enjoying yourself. Now eat” I playfully threatened, feeding (y/n) some more food

“So this is your excuse for not helping me back there is because you got food for your girl?! No offense (y/n) but your man here is a selfish little ass because he clearly could’ve placed more food on the plate but noooo” Haechan dramatically complained, sitting next to (y/n) but I pulled her seat closer towards me

“You want food, Haechan? If I get you some and shove it down to your mouth, would you stop pestering my girlfriend?” I somewhat threatened and eyeing the playful boy but (y/n) held my hand to stop me. “Jen, stop. Haechan was just being playful” (y/n) warned me, her tone was scarier than usual that I instantly soften my looks

The rest of dinner went by quicker and by the end of it, we all drank a bit of alcohol which to (y/n) it was just another celebration but to the rest of us, it was to calm our nerves because after tonight, the real work actually begins.

Once dinner was over, we all went back to our own rooms just as me and (y/n) held hands together to our room. In the comfort of our room, I let loose of my colder exterior and hugged (y/n) from behind as she was in the bathroom and was trying to remove her makeup.

“Jen, I need to remove my makeup, if you want to hug me, you better not move unless you want me to go blind as I remove my eye makeup” (y/n) reminded me and we stayed in the position for a while

“Can’t help it babe, you’re gorgeous. I knew that dress would accentuate your beauty. Plus, you look hot when you’re slightly angry” I mumbled, kissing the back of (y/n)’s neck, nuzzling behind her as I hear her let out a breathy sigh

“Jen” (y/n) called out to me, turning around to face me as her back was pressed against the bathroom counter. “You drank quite a lot, didn’t you?” (y/n) asked, cupping my face

“Nope. I didn’t” I replied because it was true. “I’m sober” I added on, holding one of her palm and kissing it

“What’s wrong jen? Tell me. You don’t normally drink like you did today. You would drink in sips not in shots” (y/n) asked. She truly do know me well

Sighing, I hugged her waist while she softly stroked my hair which helped calm me better than the alcohol. After a while, I pulled away and gently lifted her to place her on the countertop so it would be easier to talk.

“Just some things on my mind, angel. How I worry whenever you’re alone without me. Not in a possessive kind. How I worry that my job might get in between us” I stated, there was some truth to it

“Jen. You don’t have to worry about me. You know that I’m okay with being alone sometimes. Even though it feels more homey and comfy with you. And don’t worry about your job getting in between us. I know how hard you’re working so that I don’t have to but I know you let me work so I can have my own savings as well. And for that I really wanna thank you and appreciate you. How you would often send my parents some money as well. You know, my parents asked me if you’ve popped the question and I told them that we’re young and we want to enjoy and explore many things together first” (y/n) replied, making me smile

“I’m glad that your parents approve of me. In their own way of course. And I will pop the question one day because I really can’t see myself with anyone else. You never question me or push me to be someone else. You would always be there and wait until I was ready to talk which makes me more comfortable and want to talk to you more. How has Milan been, little dove?” I confessed

“Dove?” (y/n) asked and I just chuckled. “Yea. Because how soft and pure you are. How you’re basically my peace, love to explore and enjoy your freedom whilst also giving your love to me. So, how has Milan been?” I explained

“It’s incredible because you were the one that brought me here. You’re the one that insist that I come and I’m glad you convinced me to because this is just as magical and as romantic as people describe Paris” (y/n) mentioned, placing her hands on my neck, slightly massaging it

“Good. I’m glad that you’ve been enjoying yourself a lot because I have a little gift for you. Since you already planned our first year anniversary back home. I decided to plan my own but in Milan. Here” I mentioned, pulling out a little box that I got so early in the morning and opened it which has a dainty necklace with 3 rings that were linked together and was custom-made since the gold ring had a custom small nct logo embossing on it as Taeyong’s request for all of us when we have a significant other.

“Jen….that’s expensive!! My whole outfit is already expensive enough. I can’t..” (y/n) complained but I sushed her by softly kissing her forehead

“Nonsense, dove. Nothing is as expensive as you yourself. You’re priceless. I want to because I want something for you to always remember me and our moment here in Milan” I softly replied. “May I?” I asked if it was alright to put the necklace on her and she nodded

Helping her down, (y/n) turned around, and held her hair as I gently put the necklace around her and locking it which to me, it symbolizes that I’m locked on her and as a reminder that she was my significant other and under nct’s protection.

“It’s beautiful, Jen. You really didn’t have to” (y/n) mumbled, admiring the necklace as I put my hands around her waist, admiring her through the mirror

“You’re beautiful. Can I kiss you? I know that you’re still shy when it comes to physical things and I completely understand if…” I rambled as (y/n) let go of my hold and turned around, softly pecking my lips

“With you, I think I’ve slowly tried to let loose more and enjoy every moment” (y/n) smiled which made me smile and gently cupped her face and leaned to finally close the gap between us. Something that I never imagine we would do during the beginning of our relationship.

As time pass, our kiss grew from something soft like the small waves by the beach, I slowly grew needier and slowly deepen the kiss, one of my hand was by her waist and one of (y/n)’s hair was going through my hair.

Before it can go any further, I pulled away first and softly caressed (y/n)’s cheek, making sure that she was alright with it. “Are you okay? Sorry, I got carried away. We can stop here if you want. And we can just end the night by cuddling whilst watching your favorite Disney movies” I suggested but was shocked by (y/n)’s sudden eagerness as she pulled my neck and our foreheads were touching

“Jen. I’m okay. I trust you, Nono. You have my green light” (y/n) replied which excited me that I kissed her forehead, cheek and jawline. “Tell me whenever you’re uncomfortable at any point, tell me, okay?” I asked but all I got was a nod so I gently pinched (y/n)’s chin. “Use your words, dove. I won’t continue anything if you don’t use your words” I whispered by her ear, hearing her softly whimper for the first time.

“I will, Jen. I’ll tell you if I feel uncomfortable” (y/n) softly moaned as I nibbled her ear. “Just call me, Nono, okay? I want you to feel comfortable. You’ll let me treat you, won’t you?” I mumbled, kissing right below (y/n)’s ear. “Yes, Nono”

Taking one more glance at (y/n), I licked my lips before diving in and kissing her as if that it would be the only time I get to. Without warning, I lifted her and wrapped her legs around my waist without detaching our lips and brought us to the bed where I sat down and let (y/n) sit on my lap.

As the atmosphere was getting hotter, I started to take off my jacket and unbutton my shirt which didn’t go unnoticed by (y/n) who softly pulled away to allow me to take off my top with more space. “Go ahead, dove, take it off” I stated, pushing some of (y/n)’s hair back

Though (y/n) was hesitant at first, I softly grabbed her hands and guided them and took off my shirt, leaving my bare chest for her to see. Seeing her flustered self was adorable because she looked so pure yet curious that I guided her hand on my chest before cupping her cheek and kissing her, ending our night on a much softer yet romantic note.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up after a bad dream that something happened to (y/n). Looking beside me, I saw her figure sleeping soundly with my hoodie which made me feel relieved.

Unable to sleep, I decided to reply to some messages from Taeyong and the other members back in South Korea regarding the trip, any updates and progress. As I was replying to the other members and the group chat, Taeyong suddenly called me. Thankfully my phone was on do not disturb so I wouldn’t wake (y/n) up.

Answering the phone call, I went over towards the balcony so as to not disturb my girlfriend. “Hyung? Is everything alright?” I asked, closing the door to the balcony

“I should be the one asking you. Why are you up this early in the morning? Something happened?” Taeyong asked but I just chuckled

“No. Everything has been going great actually. I won the race, I spent my first year anniversary and gave (y/n) the necklace yet…” I rambled but Taeyong seemed to know more

“You’re worried that things will go to a wrong turn and you’ll end up hurting her and yourself. I know Jeno. I know how. you might feel. Why do you think I sent other members with you? 3 of them being your seniors” Taeyong replied

“Hyung…” I started but Taeyong didn’t let me continue. “I know how you might feel. I know that you want to enjoy your time with her and I’m sorry that you have to take part in this mission but that’s why I sent members with you. To keep you company, to support one another, and to help each other when things go for a wrong turn. She has the necklace with her so even in other countries, the mafia knows to not touch her. Plus, since we’re not the mafias’ enemies, they would help. Just so you know, the Italian mafia is going to be at the Ferragamo dinner tomorrow and I’ve already let them in on you being our representative. If anything were to happen to you or (y/n), they can help. Since they also are looking to take down that fraud of a group since one of them claims to be part of the Italian mafia” Taeyong explained

“Some cocky bastards they are” I scoffed, making Taeyong chuckled. “It’s going to be alright Jeno. And one day, when you do tell (y/n) everything, we’ll be there to help however we can. And remember…” Taeyong hyung mentioned. “Don’t kill them until I bring them back to you. Alive. I know. I won’t” I replied. “Good. Get some rest Jeno, I wish you all the best. If anything were to actually happen, I would know so you won’t have anything to worry about. I and the others would never abandon one another. Neo always got our back, okay? Good night, Jeno” Taeyong hyung replied, turning off the call

Smiling to myself, I quietly went back into the room but as I went back to the bed, my sudden weight must’ve shocked (y/n) that she woke up. “I’m so sorry, dove, did I accidentally wake you up?” I whispered, stroking her hair

“Nono? Are you okay? Why are you awake in the first place?” (y/n) asked as she slowly sat up on the bed but I pulled her close so her head was laying on my chest

“Had a bad dream and was replying to my work friends in South Korea” I replied as (y/n) hummed

“Dove. I want you to know that I love you so fucking much. That I would never abandon you and would never leave you completely alone” I started which confuses (y/n). “Jen, what are you talking about? Why are you talking as if something were to happen to you?” (y/n) asked, her face looking towards me with worry

“I just have a feeling, dove. Like I said, I worry that my job would get between us. With what I’m doing, there are actually other things that you haven’t known yet but I want to tell you one day which I hope you’ll understand why I haven’t been telling you. But let’s just say that I’m part of something bigger than just a racer. Though it might sound illegal, we really aren’t. But one thing is for sure, I would always prioritize your safety above all. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with, no matter what, I will make sure that you’re alright. So please promise me that if anything were to happen and I wasn’t the one to help you, it’s not that I don’t love or care for you. But it’s really because I’m caught up. But please know that whoever is there to help you is someone that I trust to bring us back together” I rambled and expected (y/n) to question me further but instead, she kissed right by my jawline.

“Jen, I know that there might be something you’re keeping from me and while I have my guesses, I want you to be ready whenever you do tell me. Trust me when I say that whatever it is that you do, it doesn’t change my mind how I feel about you. Maybe I might get angry and upset but at the end of the day, you were there for me and the fact that you’re telling me this before anything shows me how much you really care about me and our relationship. Just promise that you’ll always come back to me?” (y/n) replied making me melt in her embrace

“Fuck. What did I do to deserve you?! I don’t even think that I myself would be able to distance myself from you, dove. You’ll always make it feel as if we just met” I admitted, softly lifting (y/n) up a bit so I could kiss her before we go back to our slumber.

Waking up the next morning, I kissed (y/n)’s forehead as she snuggled closer to me, making me chuckle. “Dove, I’ll order us some breakfast, okay? Well, more so brunch since it’s 10 already. What do you want to eat?” I asked, stroking her hair as I took the hotel phone to call room service

“Anything is alright, Nono. I ate so much the other day so let’s not order too much” (y/n) yawned which made me laugh

Once room service came, I got notified that the stylist along with hair & makeup were on their way since our “dinner” was at 5 pm and it was basically lunchtime by the time our food came. After taking turns to shower and get ready, our food arrives along with the styling team.

Because I had simpler makeup, I finished first and went to the bathroom to change as (y/n) finished getting her hair and makeup done. I wore a black suit with the jacket being a long coat that basically covered the rest of my clothing and my hair was rather slicked but had bangs to frame my face.

When I came out, I saw (y/n) just about finished with her hair and makeup and she absolutely looked breathtaking. I stood behind her as her hair & makeup team moved out of the way. “You look stunning, dove” I whispered, admiring her from the mirror, seeing her turning into the same shade as her blush

“Look who’s talking, Mr Ferragamo’s Brand Ambassador” (y/n) teased as I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, kissing the side of her temple

“Let me change, Jen. The stylist is gonna get angry” (y/n) mentioned, getting up and releasing my grip around her

“If they scold you, I’ll scold them back. No one scolds my girl when I’m around” I replied back as (y/n) went into the bathroom to get change

Not long after, she came out with a gorgeous white shirt and black vest with a flowy black skirt to match my black and white attire along with black boots and a small white and gold handbag. I held (y/n)’s free hand which she linked our fingers together and I let her do a little twirl as the photographer photographed our little moment together.

We took several more photos and then I took a commercial video for Ferragamo and afterwards we both thank all the staff for helping us get ready as we both headed out for dinner with Ferragamo.

Because I was the only one invited, I brought (y/n) as my plus one whereas the other members were on a lookout for the fraud group. Linking our hands together, we were on our way to the restaurant that Ferragamo had booked.

Arriving at the restaurant, I mentioned my name and the staff immediately directed us towards a more secluded yet decorative area. I felt (y/n)’s hand held mine a bit tighter which I know is because of her nervousness and social anxiety. Before going in, I took her hand and kissed her forearm, calming her down. “I’m here, dove. I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you knowing that you’re willing to come with me. Or, if you’re really nervous, we can ditch this fancy dinner and just grab some McDonalds?” I suggested but (y/n) just chuckled

“I’m okay. A. bit nervous but am alright now. The brand might be pissed if they know their global brand ambassador is out eating McDonalds instead of this dinner that was dedicated towards him” (y/n) reminded me, making me smile

Inside the room, I was immediately greeted by the Ferragamo staff and creative director of Ferragamo. Along with the basic greetings, I introduced (y/n) to them who all complimented about her beauty, making me smile with pride.

The both of us were then directed to the center of the long table right beside the creative director of Ferragamo and right as we were seated, the door opened to someone who I did not expect to see at all. Brad from that fraud group.

That fake smile of his as he introduced himself to everyone made my blood boil, my whole body tensed up that (y/n) had to calm me by rubbing my hand in her small ones. I know something was off because I don’t remember seeing Brad at any other events of Ferragamo that I have been to before.

“Jen, you alright? You look like you might kill someone” (y/n) asked as she placed her hand on mine

“I’m okay, dove” I reassured her, looking at her worried face. “Can you do me a favour?” I asked and she nodded. “I know it might be confusing but whatever happens, don’t interact with him. Don’t talk to him, don’t get close to him” I mentioned, looking over at Brad while (y/n) followed my gaze

“Please. Just this one time. Don’t question me, alright? That’s all I ask you just this one time” I mentioned and (y/n) just looked at me softly. “I won’t. I trust you. If you’re already using this tone and saying no then I know that you mean well. I won’t interact with him” (y/n) replied, making me sigh in relief and kissed her temple

Throughout dinner, I kept on eyeing Brad who sat further down the table but he just looked at me with this creepy smile that I wanted to punch so badly but I had to remember my mission especially since the Italian mafia were also here which I had to find because Taeyong-hyung only gave me some descriptions of the man and not an actual clear image of him.

Skimming through the room as we ate, I think I finally found the man that I was looking for. But because I was unsure of leaving (y/n) alone I waited for her but it seemed that she noticed about my eagerness to go somewhere.

“Jen, I’m not going to go anywhere. I don’t know anyone except for you. If you want to go see someone which I think you do, just go. I’ll be here, okay? Or even if I do go, I’d probably go to the bathroom” (y/n) mentioned, stopping her eating session

“Are you sure? I’m completely alright with waiting for you, dove” I replied but she shook her head. “I’m fine. Go, jen. Before you miss them” (y/n) ushered me which made me smile and kiss her head. “I’ll be right back, okay? Enjoy your dinner. I’ll have someone send over some dessert for you, alright?” I replied, kissing her head again and left to see if my intuition was correct about the Italian mafia.

Going up towards a tall older Korean male who was also wearing a custom Ferragamo suit but with a custom embroidery of the Italian mafia family by the cuffs. “Mr Cassano?” I asked as the man in the suit turned around and I finally noticed some of the other “guests” looking at us

“And you are?” the man asked, surprisingly in Korean

“Jeno. Lee Jeno. You are Mr. Cassano of the Cassano family, right?” I half-whispered so that not everyone can hear me

“Your leader told me that you were a smart and keen person. Looks like you are smarter than you look because I actually expected someone older but you have my respect” Mr Cassano replied, extending his hand and I took it to shake

The two of us then continued our conversation while I would look at (y/n) every now and then who was talking with the creative director. As our conversation got more serious, Mr. Cassano instructed me to follow him somewhere more private but I took a look at (y/n) who was still sitting so I decided to text her.

Me: “I’m going to talk with someone for a bit, are you still alright dove?”

(y/n): “Yeap, am alright. Just had a little sip of rose. I don’t like it though. I’m going to go to the toilet for a bit”

Me: “Alright, let me know if you need anything. And yea, looks like you still don’t like alcohol. I’ll have someone bring you some orange juice instead”

(y/n): “Thank you, Nono. I’ll be okay. I’ll be right back. If I’m not back in 5 minutes then I might be puking the alcohol out”

Me: “Don’t make me worry, Dove. I’ll come back and find you in 5 minutes”

Mr Cassano and I then went to a more private area of the restaurant to talk a bit more and just as I was about to mention Brad being here, there was a sudden power fuse making everyone in a panic state that I excused myself from Mr Cassano to check up on (y/n) in the bathroom yet I could sense someone coming to attack both me and Mr Cassano.

Grunting, I turned back and helped take down the mediocre group that was probably from Brad’s group yet didn’t kill them and even prevent any of Mr Cassano’s men from killing them.

“Why don’t you put them out permanently?” Mr Cassano questions as his men gathered the group

“Because my leader wants them alive and I very much would like to be present when they’re being questioned and perhaps even tortured for being a fraud and using our group’s name for their personal pleasure” I mentioned as Mr Cassano nodded in understanding

“Thank you for helping me. If you need any help, contact me” Mr Cassano mentioned, handing me his phone number

“If it’s alright, please send them over to South Korea to my leader first. I’ll deal with the ring leader” I asked and Mr Cassano nodded. “Done. Go find your girlfriend, kid” Mr Cassano mentioned and I bowed back out of respect before rushing to the bathroom to find (y/n).

Before going into the bathroom, I contacted my members to standby, help with the power fuse and guide everyone out of the restaurant.

“Jen, we’re already on our way and Renjun is working on the power fuse, what’s the situation?” Jaemin asked

“I took down some of Brad’s minions but I don’t see him or the 2 others that were with him during the race. I’m going to the bathroom to look for (y/n)” I replied

“Jen, wait for us, we’re almost there” Haechan exclaimed but I couldn’t care because I need to make sure that (y/n) was alright

Barging into the bathroom, I prepared my gun just in case anyone tried anything and at the slightest sound, I immediately pointed my gun towards it until I heard a shuffling sound. “(y/n)? Dove? Talk to me, love” I called out but there was no sound from her which made me grow worry

As I was about to check each of the stalls, I noticed a shadow from the mirror and instantly turned to fight against whoever it was that tried to sneak up on me. Noticing that the man held a syringe, I grabbed his wrists and made sure that he dropped the syringe before I kicked his legs from behind and pointed a gun towards his temple.

“Where is she?! Where did Brad go? Tell me or I’ll take my time to torture you” I growled but when the man didn’t say anything, I shot his kneecaps just enough so that he would feel the pain

“Talk. Now. While I still have the patience with you” I demanded

“H-he drugged her. He’s, he’s taking her back to his hotel. W-we were supposed to drug you as well because he was salty that you won” the man finally talked and I hit him towards the wall to knock him out right as Haechan came in

“Jen…woaaaaa, d-did you?” Haechan asked. “No. Taeyong would punish me if I killed anyone tonight. He said that Brad took (y/n) to his hotel” I growled, putting my gun back in my pocket, making my way out to see that everyone had already left the restaurant

“Renjun…” I mentioned. “Heard you the first time you confronted him. Yangyang, Jaemin and Shotaro are on their way along with Jungwoo-hyung” Renjun replied

“Send me the address, my job isn’t done until I get Brad so I’m technically going to kill two birds with one stone. Well, without the killing at least” I mentioned and Renjun sent me the address

“You sure it’s a good idea? It could be an ambush” Haechan replied and I checked my phone for (y/n)’s location because her necklace had a tracker on it

“I’m getting my girlfriend and putting that no good of a fraud down. They’re still on their way. Which means I can catch up to them” I stated, taking off my coat as both me and Haechan head towards the back alley where Renjun is

“We’ll tail you from behind. Doyoung and Jaehyun-hyung are handling the Italian mafia to ensure everyone is out of the restaurant and create some sort of story about this incident. Taeyong-hyung also mentioned that the Italian mafia already has someone on their way to clean up the mess” Renjun stated as I changed into the nct mission gear

“I’ll be after Brad since Jaemin and the others are waiting at the hotel, I’m sure that Brad would take a detour and I don’t intend to lose my girlfriend or him” I stated as I put on my helmet and took some things before leaving the van and headed to one of our rented cars

Turning on the maps with the tracker, I placed my phone right on the stand and raced to where (y/n)’s tracker said it was. “Hang on, dove. I’m coming” I muttered, putting in the gears and racing off

It didn’t take me long to get to where the tracker said it was because of the quiet street at night and because the police gave permission to let me pass due to my car’s plate number. I knew that Brad would be taking a detour because Jaemin mentioned that he and the others took care of the rest of his little minions. Stopping right in front of their moving car, they finally took a sharp turn to stop.

Getting out of my car, I shot every single one of the wheels to make sure that they couldn’t escape through their car before I could get through their door, the back door opened and it was Brad along with 2 of his friends who were holding an unconscious (y/n).

Seeing her unconscious figure made my blood boil so I pointed my gun towards Brad. “Let her go or I’ll shoot you myself” I mentioned

“Jeno, jeno, are you sure about that?” Brad chuckled, snapping his fingers and one of his men held a pocket knife right by (y/n)’s throat making my whole body tense but I analysed this situation multiple times before that I knew that I just needed to hold out long enough until my team came

“You’re a fucking coward you know that? Using an innocent girl to get to me? Man up and fight me without using a hostage. But that’s right, you can’t even man up and try to win the race on your own. You had to sabotage the other racers with illegal weapons that you got through abusing the NCT name which you clearly are not in” I ranted, not lowering my weapon one bit even when Brad had a tantrum

“Oh, so you think you’re part of that group? Look at you! Telling people that they can’t do shit but where the hell did you get those weapons and that car anyways? Maybe you’re also using the NCT name like me. Perhaps we are alike than you think” Brad scoffed, coming closer. “I mean, you and I have the same taste in women anyway. Sad that your girl is asleep, it would be more interesting when she’s awake, don’t you agree?” Brad tormented and I gave in because the next second, I punched that smirk off his face with my gun, beginning a long fistfight between the two of us.

Unlike Brad, I had proper combat training so I managed to dodge all of his attacks and landed quite a hard blow on his weak spots; his stomach, the back of his knee, his ankles and his chest (right below his lungs). It wasn’t long until his 2 minions abandoned (y/n) and came to help their little leader which didn’t turn out great for them either.

If Brad was the so-called leader of his group, then his minions were nothing to me. I was clearly on the winning streak with the amount of blows I managed to land on all three of them but when (y/n) slowly regained her consciousness is when I started to get a bit distracted; especially when she called out my name in a weak tone.

“Jeno…” I heard (y/n) uttered which made me stop and rushed towards her half-unconscious figure

“Dove?? Are you okay? What happened? Never mind that, let’s get you out of here, hmm?” I cooed, slowly trying to lift (y/n) and failed to notice a sneaky ambush behind me until I felt a sharp pain on my neck did I turned and elbowed one of Brad’s minions

“Jen….” (y/n) muttered, probably out of worry because she saw me holding onto my neck and taking out the syringe

“Just a minute, dove. I’m okay” I managed to utter, standing back up and actually knocking all three of them unconscious before whatever drug was injected into me actually took effect

Thankfully, my team arrived just in time right as I started to feel hot and my mind was a bit foggy with the only thought being getting (y/n) and leaving this place immediately.

“Jeno!!!” I heard Jungwoo-hyung exclaimed and helped support me

“(y/n), get her out of here and to our room” I uttered and Jungwoo-hyung asked Shotaro to help (y/n) as Yangyang made sure that the backup men get Brad and his minions into the car to be detained first.

After what felt to be the longest night I’ve ever had, we finally reached back to our hotel and I took (y/n) from Shotaro and brought her to our room as Jungwoo-hyung told me to rest as he get the sample of both mine and (y/n)’s blood from Renjun to find out what drug was in our system.

⚠️Trigger Warning! Skip if you're uncomfortable

Once I closed the door to our room, I laid (y/n) down on the bed as she was still practically unconscious while I felt that my body got hotter with every second passing, especially when I saw (y/n). All I could practically think was how I wanted to kiss her so badly and how I wanted to make the both of us feel better. But most importantly, how I wanted to rip all of our clothing and take her then and there which sounded more animalistic than my usual composed self.

Trying to snap myself out of this thought, I tried to go to the bathroom and shower to cool down but instead, it only made me feel even hotter than I already was. Grunting, I put my clothes on and hoped to just sleep off whatever this drug made me feel.

But as soon as I went over to the bed, all I could think was ruining (y/n). My mind and actions contradict each other and in the end, lust won over me and before I knew it, I was already hovering on top of (y/n) right as she slowly regained consciousness.

“J-jen?!” (y/n) exclaimed, her tone was scared which I didn’t like but my body took control over me and one of my hands took her hands, pinning them above her head as my other hand slowly pulled her vest off of her

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me” I cried, trying to close my eyes but my whole body betrayed me right when I took off her vest and slowly unbuttoned her shirt while my lips made their way to her jawline down to her neck and on her collarbone as I heard (y/n) whimpered underneath me, making my shaft harder than it already is.

“Jennn….s-stoppp, please” (y/n) started to cry but for some reason it turned me on even more and right as I nearly unbuttoned her shirt, the door to our room was unlocked and I was pulled away by a strong grip around my neck

“Jeno, sorry about this” I heard Jaehyun-hyung mention and I saw Jaemin wrapping (y/n) with a blanket around her to cover her up before I passed out

❗️End of trigger warning

The next time I was awake, I was in a different room and was practically chained to the bed as I remembered the incident of the previous day, immediately trashing around, trying to figure out where the hell I was until I heard a familiar voice.

“Are you back to your normal self or are you horny like an animal going into heat?” Jaehyun-hyung asked and I grunted, hitting my head back on the pillow

“I’m okay, physically now. But I’m not mentally or emotionally okay until I see (y/n)” I grunted

“Not until I know that you’re actually not in the wrong state because you have to know that you hurt her and I don’t think that you want to hurt her anymore” Jaehyun-hyung stated

“How long was I out? Did Renjun manage to get me medicine or an antidote?” I asked, mentally cursing myself for hurting (y/n) in one of the worst ways possible

“You’ve been out for almost 12 hours, had to give you anesthesia ****to make sure that you wouldn’t wake up until Renjun had the proper medicine. Don’t worry about the fraud group, we already have them all. We’ll also be leaving back to South Korea tomorrow. Also, we’ve already injected you with the antidote. I was asking just to make sure that there isn’t any leftover effect” Jaehyun-hyung stated, opening all of the chains

“Where is she? Who’s with her? She’s not alone, right?!” I asked, eager to get out and find (y/n) to apologise for what I did

“Go shower first and regain your composure. You’re going to need it” Jaehyun-hyung suggested, handing me some clothing to shower

After showering and changing everything, Jaehyun-hyung finally allowed me to go back to my room and to see (y/n) which he said that the 00 liners are with her whereas Doyoung and Jungwoo-hyung were dealing with sending the fraud group back to South Korea.

“I’m not the best at giving advices like Taeyong does and I don’t want to come off as the cold senior but do know that we all would always look out for each other and help each other whenever the other messes up. But know that it wasn’t your fault. Yes, you hurt her but you didn’t really have a choice. Your drug made you wild and animalistic. You had no control over the lust that was controlling your body. (y/n) knows it too and I doubt she’d blame you for what happened. Don’t hurt yourself over what already happened. That’s all I can advise” Jaehyun-hyung rambled, opening the door to our room as the others looked at me and bid their farewell to (y/n) who was sitting on the bed

“She’s not angry. She’s just overwhelmed” Jaemin whispered, patting my shoulder as everyone left me with (y/n)

I slowly walked towards (y/n) who was calling out to me but I kept my head hung low because I felt that I didn’t deserve to see her after what I had done. Instead, my legs gave up and I was kneeling in front of her feet by the bed which confused her but I didn’t let her say anything until I let out everything that I was feeling.

“I’m sorry, dove. I’m so fucking sorry. I ruined everything. I hurt you. I did something without your consent. I traumatised you in every way possible. I got you into a mess and instead of being the knight and shining armour, I was worse than the villain. You might forgive me or not it’s fine because I would never forgive myself for what I did. Getting you into the mess was one thing. Getting you drugged, kidnapped and nearly raped you is something that will forever haunt me and I don’t deserve to face you after what I did” I cried out, my bangs covering my blurry sight from her

“Jen….please look at me. I, I’m not angry, Jen. I, I was scared if anything. Not scared of what you might do to me but scared of what happened to the Jeno that I’ve known and fallen for. I was scared that my Jeno would be gone. I’m scared that my Jeno would just leave instead of fighting because I know that you didn’t mean what happened. You didn’t go too far, Jen. I know you were resisting. Please, just don’t leave me. I don’t want my Nono to leave” (y/n) cried out, her hands cupped my face as I felt my body tense

Not being able to look away from her for too long, I eventually looked up to see (y/n) who was crying as well. Her wrists were still red from what I did along with her neck that I accidentally marked. Slowly, I stood back up and cupped her face in mine.

“How, how can you want me back after what I did? Whether I was under the drug influence or not, I still hurt you. I nearly did something so animalistic without your consent. I’ve tainted you and I’m giving you a chance to leave me to find someone better. I failed to protect you” I uttered, my hands were shaking

“No one could ever replace you, Jen. You resisted, I know you did” (y/n) replied. “I tried to resist but clearly I failed. What if my friend didn’t come and pulled me back? What if I went too far? Would you still want me?” I asked, my eyes were on her mark as if it was a mockery towards what kind of person I became

“It wasn’t you. You’re not to blame, Jeno. You still protected me, remember? You promised that if you weren’t there to protect me, you would send someone you know and trust to do so, even if it is against you. Even when you couldn’t, you still did, Jeno. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see how much I trust and love you? If I leave you, you won’t be okay and neither will I knowing that you keep beating yourself up. You’ve taken care of me, let me return the favour” (y/n) rambled, standing up and bringing me closer to her

“If I ever, somewhere down the line, ever hurt you like this again. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Whether I’m conscious or under influence. Kill me. I’d rather die in your arms knowing that at least the woman I love is finally free of me and I would never love anyone else even in my next life than live my life knowing that I’m the sole reason for all those bad memories and scars. Promise me you’d do that and continue to live your life” I half-whispered, shakily holding her hands that were on my face

“It won’t ever come to that. I know that you will always have a backup plan. And I doubt your friends/members would allow you to go that far after today. Now can we please enjoy our last day while we can?” (y/n) half-joked, making both of us chuckle and I nodded, allowing her to take the lead and kiss me this time. A kiss to our new year as a couple and a reminder to remember and learn of our past to live our life in the present and better ourselves for the future.

Seoul, South Korea - 1:27 am

The sound of loud heavy boots echoed throughout the hallway up until the room where NCT would keep those who have wronged them and many other innocent people. A room that is meant for those to remember of their past, atone for themselves in the present and perhaps get another chance for the future.

“I swear, they’re just pretending to be asleep at this point. It’s been 16 hours since they landed and I know for a fact that Jeno didn’t kill them” Haechan grunted. “I mean look, they’re breathing completely fine”

“We can’t act rashly, remember that time Zennie noona was captured by a mole and opposing gang? Taeyong-hyung was ready to kill anyone if he didn’t get the chance to be satisfied first” Hendery reminded the younger one

“Plus, wouldn’t Jeno would want to do it himself even if they’re not awake yet?” Yuta questioned

“Well, we’re only going to be splashing some ice-cold water on their face or maybe just nail their hands onto the chair. We’re not actually going to kill them. Just to make sure they’re awake for what’s actually coming” Haechan suggested

“Then do it, Haechan” Taeyong stated, the sound of his boots along with Mark, Kun, Ten, Johnny and Chenle’s followed right behind him

“H-hyung…I, I was just joking about the nailing part” Haechan chuckled dryly as his leader walked towards the entire group of frauds

“Well, I’m not. Wake them up by whatever means necessary. Just avoid any of their vital parts. Safe that for Jeno” Taeyong instructed, slowly backing away to allow the playful member to do what he does best

“Welp, you heard the leader” Haechan shrugged, slightly grazing the nail over Brad’s arm which made the tied man scream

“WAITTT!! STOPPP!! WE’RE AWAKE. WE’RE AWAKE” Brad screamed but his voice only echoed within the room

“Ahh, looks like the clown is finally awake now” Haechan chuckled, a sinister smirk forming on his face as Brad and his members nervously took in at the situation they were in

“W-WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS? RIGHT?! WE DIDN’T ACTUALLY HURT ANYONE. ISN’T IT ILLEGAL TO HURT SOMEONE WHO ISN’T FULLY GUILTY?” Brad tried to reason as Taeyong sat on his chair in front of all the weapons laid out and his members were surrounding Brand and his members

“Illegal? You really want to talk about what’s legal and not? With me?” Taeyong scoffed

“I, I mean, isn’t, isn’t NCT as a whole basically illegal? My parents wouldn’t sit tight knowing their son, the only heir to their company is gone missing” Brad rambled as all the NCT members laughed and giggled but stopped at Taeyong’s hand command

“Ahh, your parents. Right. Your dad is also a fraud who fakes his business by killing his rival whereas your mom, is another fraud who sells fake luxury items to people while she gets to live the luxury? Don’t worry, mommy and daddy will reunite with you soon. Since clearly the entire family seems to be rotten to the core” Taeyong stated, making Brad quiver in fear

“Not technically guilty, huh? You misused our name just because no one knows who the actual members are except for me, Mark of DREAM and Kun of WayV. Not only did you misuse our name for your personal pleasure, you tried to cheat at an international grand prix, you sabotaged other racer’s cars, nearly made one of my core members get into an accident which you became salty when he won and proceeded to drug his girlfriend and himself yet you still want to talk about not being actually guilty? To my face?!” Taeyong growled, pushing himself off his seat and made his way in front of Brad

“I-it was a mistake. I know that now. Taeyong. I mean Sir? Please don’t kill me” Brad begged

“Does living really mean something to you?” Taeyong questioned, raising his eyebrow

“Y-yes. I promise I will atone for what I did. I’ll go to jail and reflect on what I’ve done” Brad pleaded

“What are you pleading for?” Taeyong asked again, this time he went behind Brad and patted his shoulders. “I’m not going to let you die. I’m not that heartless to let you and your little gang here die” Taeyong chuckled as Brad and his members also chuckled. “But I didn’t say anything about letting him have his way with you” Taeyong added right as the door opened and Jeno, Jaemin and Yangyang came into the scene making Brad and his members whimper in fear

“Killing you is far too easy and frankly, I don’t have the mercy to do that. You’ll all pay for what you did. To my members, to my group’s name, to me, to my girlfriend. And especially what you made me do to her. I’ll make you regret what you did. How about we start by drugging you with the same thing you drug me and not letting you cum in anyway possible while I take my sweet time in making sure you remember about your sins here” Jeno growled, putting on his glove

A/N: well, this took a lot out of me :)) 11k words. My longest fanfic so far but I hope that everyone enjoyed reading it T^T I've missed writing these kind of fics because I become so into and invested into the storytelling but I hope that it was just as enjoyable as I wrote it. Stay safe and healthy and hopefully I'll be back for another fic (preferably a Jaemin one cause man is getting buffed to quick >.<;) xoxo Vinet