SOMEONE!! ANYONE!!!! PLEASE WRITE THIS INTO A FULL FLEDGED FIC

SOMEONE!! ANYONE!!!! PLEASE WRITE THIS INTO A FULL FLEDGED FIC😭😭😭

y’know what, fuck it— a TWST event inspired by “enchanted (2007)” where our first-year bois (and their one enby) take a night out on the town, and after an encounter with a cursed artifact they find in a pawn shop, they lose all their memories and get them replaced with new ones. 

what are these new memories, you ask? they’re all roommates living in a crappy apartment on sage’s island, they all always wanted to go to nrc but they don’t have any magic powers, and ortho is not a robot who is their friend, but their extremely articulate computer ripped straight from the early 2000s, even though they still talk to him like he’s sentient and he is very obviously sentient.

(“i just don’t get people, y’know? i don’t know how to talk to them.”

*windows dial-up sounds*

“see? at least you get me.”)

their personalities are still intact, though, but some of the more obvious parts have been… altered. aka, sebek doesn’t talk about malleus or fae every couple of minutes, but he’s still our loud, proud crocoboy.

also, they all have part-time jobs. take that how you will.

the upperclassmen are in crisis mode, obviously, and the scarabiduo haven’t stopped having collective ptsd for three days straight, because SEVEN FRESHMEN disappeared in the middle of the night, and well, they’re just going down the logical train of thought here—

it all culminates while yuu is out buying groceries with what little they earn at their shitty supermarket job (🙏😭 for employee discountsssss) and they run into professor trein and professor crewel who are putting up “wanted — dead or alive” posters while buying cat/dog food.

what ensues is a chase scene involving two grown, adult men chasing down this poor enby around the store. 

“I JUST WANTED TO BUY SOME SHOES FOR MY COMPUTER!”

“WHY THE FUCK DOES YOUR COMPUTER NEED FUCKING SHOES?!?!?!”

Fr though, he ain't letting people call him out for his rule breaking, he memorized all the rules just so he can call himself out.. by himself

Spreading my agenda that Ace Trappola might be the worst and best option for Heartslabyul's next housewarden

Bro stop😭 You legit kicked me in my feels because of my love for these two mfs

Slacker-chan is like Kim Dokja, shattered all over the place.

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.

Yes. YES. I myself don't post on ao3 but I feel pretty dang good when the authors of all the fics I commented on had noticed me simping for their works and responded to my more-often-than-not, more than 1 paragraph rambling in every single chapter.

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

My petty and grudge bearing self shall bleed into my works till the day that I stop writing.

Characters don't ever get to be mad. They don't ever get to stay mad.

Let your characters get mad. Let them stay mad!

I will push this propaganda until the day I can no longer create stories