Whumptober Day 2 - Explosion

Whumptober day 2 - Explosion

My second fill for @whumptober2019​, also available on Ao3.

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Twelve seconds.

It only took him one second to think it all through. More time, and he probably would have been able to defuse the bomb. One minute would have been enough.

But he didn't have one minute, and it looked like it'd wipe out half of Brooklyn, if not all of it, when it went off.

They'd evacuated the immediate area, but that wouldn't be enough. Not even close.

Three more seconds and he'd stabilized the power source enough that he could move it without it instantly exploding in his arms.

Two more seconds to exit the building safely, without destabilizing the foundation.

That left him with six seconds to get as far away from civilization as possible.

"Iron Man, what's going on?" he heard Steve demanding over the comms as he bolted off as quickly as the armor could go, out over the Atlantic where hopefully no one would get hurt.

Except him.

"Emergency detour," he informed them. "Mind the 'bang'."

"What -" he could hear Bucky starting to ask, but there simply wasn't enough time.

With one second left, he threw it as far away as possible, arms coming up in front of his face and chest to protect himself as much as possible. He knew it wouldn't be enough.

It went off with a flash that just about blinded him. After that, there was nothing.

(He didn't feel himself hitting the water, where he started to sink quickly. He didn't feel the water entering the armor through the damage caused by the bomb. He didn’t feel the way Thor grabbed him, dragging him up and out of the water and back to the Coney Island beach, where the other Avengers were waiting for them.)

(He didn’t feel the way they carefully took off the pieces of the armor, keeping him as stable as possible, to get him ready for the ambulance. He didn’t hear Bucky begging him to hold on, to please live. He didn’t notice the way Steve had to hold Bucky back when Tony was taken away, assuring him they’d join him in the hospital as soon as they could.)

(He didn’t see the tears on Bucky’s face as the doctors told the Avengers about his injuries. He didn’t feel the way Natasha stroked his hair as he lay in the hospital bed or the way Bucky held his hand ever-so-gently. He didn’t hear the way Clint rambled at him to have something to fill the silence or the way Steve told him he’d done well even though no one was happy with this result either. He didn’t smell the food Bruce had made in hopes of waking him up. He didn’t taste the potion Thor had brought in hopes of saving his life.)

The first thing he felt was pain. It was like there was no part of his body that hadn’t been injured. Then, his brain desperate for something else, anything else, he could feel the way a hand was holding his.

When he opened his eyes, infinitely grateful that the lights were down, the first thing he saw was Bucky, head resting beside his leg as he slept restlessly.

As much as he was hurting, he put in all the effort he could in order to squeeze his hand around Bucky’s. He was not surprised when his boyfriend shot up immediately, eyes red and hair a mess. “Tony…” His voice was rough, either from sleep or from worry, but the relief was obvious.

Aware of the fact that he would not be able to talk, not with how much his throat was hurting, Tony shot him a crooked smile.

It was enough.

Whumptober day 12 - "Don’t Move”

My twelfth fill for @whumptober2019, also available on Ao3.

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When awareness returned, Bucky's face was the first thing he saw.

"Hey doll." He was smiling, but Tony knew him well enough to know that something was wrong. "Good to have you back with us."

How had he gotten here?

Vaguely, Tony remembered an alien ship. It'd had weapons, hadn't it?

"Did we win?" he asked, trying to see past Bucky.

"Don't move, doll. Don't worry - we won." And while he was telling the truth, Tony knew there was more to it. He could see the strain on Bucky's face, and the way he was paler than usual.

"What happened?"

"You know there was an alien attack, right?" Tony managed a tiny nod, but it was enough. "They had some kind of advanced weaponry we couldn't get past at first, but you took it out. Unfortunately, they decided that made you the primary threat, so they... shot at you. Fortunately, with the weaponry disabled, we managed to finish things up."

As he was awake longer, Tony was starting to become more and more aware. And while he knew there was more that Bucky wasn't telling him, he was starting to think that might be for the better.

He wasn't sure he wanted to know why he couldn't feel most of his body, or why he had the faintest inkling that that might be for the better.

Just as he was trying to scour his mind for a lighthearted subject, Clint's face appeared beside Bucky's. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." His grin appeared only slightly more believable than Bucky's. Tony appreciated the attempt. "Lemme tell you, no amount of sleep will make that face any prettier."

"Can't improve perfection," he volleyed back, noticing the way his quick reply lightened both of their expressions ever-so-slightly.

It was hard to miss that something was wrong though. Despite not feeling pain, he didn't feel quite right. It was a disconcerting, uncomfortable cold that went bone-deep and that made him want to try and move, to get away from it somehow. But he trusted Bucky, trusted that not moving was probably the best idea at the moment.

"Everyone else okay?" he asked instead. Aside from tired, worried, and a little bruised, both Bucky and Clint seemed fine, but he hadn't seen the others.

"Just fine," Bucky assured him immediately. He didn't appear to be lying.

Beside him, Clint nodded. "Nat is working with Pepper on easing everyone's minds, and Steve got Sam and JARVIS to help deal with clean-up efforts. Thor is doing double duty wrangling Hulk and supplying whatever he knows about those aliens. They have collectively whined about how much work this all is and how they never realized how much you usually do, so feel free to gloat about that later."

Tony managed a grin. "Does that mean you're stuck doing SHIELD debrief?"

A small huff of laughter escaped him at seeing the hilariously horrified look on Clint's face. "Awww, debrief, no," he whined. Then, he smiled hopefully. "Maybe I can still switch with Thor!"

"Good luck on that," Bucky went along with the joke, though it was clear his heart wasn't in it. "I'll admit, having Thor debrief Fury could be funny, though I'm not sure I want to know what kind of backstory you'd come up with for the aliens."

"I'd make up something appropriately epic, of course," he tried to claim. Tony felt his own eyebrow raise critically at the same time he saw Bucky's skeptical look. "I would!"

"A race trying to take over the world because they want to steal our coffee isn't epic." It wasn't his best quip, but Tony thought he could be forgiven, considering it seemed rather more difficult to think clearly than it should be.

Fortunately, Clint seemed to agree, chuckling. "Chocolate, then?" he tried.

"I mean, if I were an alien race..." Bucky trailed off with a faint grin.

"Just because you are a chocolate addict, doesn't mean everyone is," Tony joked affectionately. Whenever Bucky was having a bad day, all he had to do was bring the soldier some chocolate to make him smile again.

The reminder of it made him smile, though it felt oddly exhausting. Everything did, if he was being honest. Which, to be fair, didn't really surprise him.

Not when he'd just recalled the size of the approaching spears that had been the last thing he'd seen.

Whumptober day 3 - Delirium

My third fill for @whumptober2019​, also available on Ao3.

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There were honestly a lot of reasons Tony didn’t like board meetings. To start with, they were either incredibly boring or, if they weren’t, they tended to be incredibly frustrating. Not to mention they brought back plenty of unpleasant memories having to do with either Howard or Stane, as well as unpleasant memories of the way previous members of the board had treated him when he was younger.

Right now, though, one of the reasons he disliked board meetings the most was the fact that it meant interacting with people, which meant catching their illnesses.

Which was why he was currently hiding away from the other Avengers and feeling increasingly terrible.

Being ill had always been a bit of an issue for him, especially since both of his parents had made it fairly obvious that they did not appreciate him being more of an inconvenience than he already was. Jarvis, in contrast, had always been more than considerate.

As a result, he tended to isolate himself from most people when feeling unwell. On the other hand, he had a tendency of being very clingy and affectionate with the ones he did trust.

Tony whimpered, trying to find a way to lie down that did not somehow hurt. Fever always made his skin more sensitive than usual, and even his expensive sheets felt like sandpaper at the moment. Wet, uncomfortable sandpaper that was either too hot or too cold. He just wanted it to be over already, to be able to think properly again and to be able to get up without getting so dizzy he had to lie down again immediately.

“I have sent DUM-E up with something for you to drink, Sir,” JARVIS informed him. “If you do not ingest some liquids within the next half an hour, I will be forced to call for assistance.”

Another whimper escaped him, and he could feel the way his thoughts were slipping. He found himself simultaneously wishing that someone would be there to help, to make him feel better, and wishing to be left utterly alone in his misery because he’d just be a burden to everyone else.

He sobbed softly, turning around yet again in hopes this position would be marginally more comfortable. It didn’t work, unfortunately.

Soft beeping from the doorway alerted him to DUM-E - no matter what else, he’d always know that sound, and he managed to bring up a trembling smile as the bot approached far more slowly than he usually would. In his claw, he was carefully holding a bottle of water with a straw in it, for easier drinking.

“I can’t,” he found himself sobbing - it was too much, too hot, too cold, too painful. He couldn’t bring himself to even hold up his arm to grab the bottle, and the thought alone of trying to drink made him nauseous.

DUM-E’s soft beeping became a little more insistent, and he tried to lift his hand to grab the bottle, only to miss. Later, he could only be grateful that DUM-E was still holding it, meaning he only spilled a little of it, but it was enough. The cold water hitting his face hurt, and suddenly he was back in Afghanistan, face wet and hurting all over and feeling trapped.

There were voices - one, at first, and then more of them, but he couldn’t tell what they were saying. The words sounded foreign, unfamiliar, and he gritted his teeth in order not to whimper. “No,” he insisted, trying to sound so much stronger than he felt. “No.”

But there were hands on his arms, holding him down, and he cried out. He couldn’t… He couldn’t. He’d barely survived the first time, he couldn’t do this again, please.

Everything hurt, and he was stuck right back in one of his worst nightmares.

Cold hit him, and he whimpered with pain. It was good, because he was burning, but it hurt, and he had no idea what was going on and he wanted all of it to stop. And then, blissfully, slowly, he started sinking away, the fear and the pain and the heat and the cold slowly backing up until there was only peaceful darkness.

The last thing he heard was a soft “we’ll take care of you, Tony.”

I got interviewed by The Daily Fandom about my fandom experience!! It was an amazing experience, and I hope it might be able to help some others, in whatever way <3

We talked to Eirlyssa, a fanfiction writer and author, about their process, their love of FFs and fandom, and how they deal with backlash. #behindtheminds #eirlyssa #fanfic #fanfiction #winteriron https://thedailyfandom.com/behind-the-minds-of-fanfiction-writers-interview-with-eirlyssa/?feed_id=22329

hey i was just going through your 2018 bingo fills, and j was wondering- and i truly mean this out of curiosity not compatively- your writing doesn't tend to always reflect well on Steve. Not that that's a bad thing, everyone has preferences obviously, but I was just wondering if there was a specific reason for that?? Like one specific reason why you don't like Steve's character or if he's just a convenient "bad guy"??

First of all, I just opened my inbox and saw your list of reviews and oh wow thank you that was amazing to find!

Second, Steve… He’s tricky for me, to be honest. I like the idea of him, the way he was intended to be - good, and just, and willing to fight what’s wrong. And in some stories, that’s what I focus on.

But a lot of the time, I look at the decisions the MCU had him make, the bad decisions, and the way he’s still framed as being what he was intended to be. He faces few, if any, true consequences for his actions. And after all of those decisions, he’s still there, righteous and stubborn and determined to think the best hands are his own, and that just about makes me scream.

Some of the time, he’s a convenient obstacle, because it’s very easy to imagine that righteousness going wrong the way I feel it did in canon. And some of the time, it’s that frustration with him that shines through.

I like what Steve was supposed to be, but I think Marvel did him wrong. And sometimes I use that characterization rather than the one they’d intended, because I want to work through that frustration or because I need someone to be the obstacle. And as much as I don’t like him, even in those cases, he’s a convenient obstacle exactly because he means well. He adds some conflict into a story, but in most of the stories where he is, he’s called out on it and tries to do better instead.

I hope this answered your question :) And thank you, so much, for reading and reviewing and being interested. You honestly made my day!

Whumptober day 4 - Human Shield

My fourth fill for @whumptober2019​, where I decided to go the soft route. Also available on Ao3.

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It was unfair, Tony thought, how quickly the weather could turn.

When he'd left the Tower, it might have been somewhat cold, but the sun had been shining with few clouds in the sky. Now, not even two hours later, it was pouring. He honestly wouldn't even be surprised if it started hailing in a bit, considering how cold the rain already was.

On the bright side, at least he'd managed to find himself some cover so he wouldn't get soaked. On the not-so-bright side, he had no idea when it would stop raining. From the way the clouds looked, huge and heavy and dark, dark grey, he'd guess it could take a while.

Before he could start thinking of ways to get back to the Tower that would keep him as dry as possible, he frowned. Was that a sound?

Now that he was focusing on it, it became clearer. It sounded like whimpering of some sort, a soft squeaking sound that actually worried him.

Leaving the dubious safety of his shelter, he slowly approached. It didn't take long for his clothes to be soaked through, not with how hard it was raining, but he hardly felt it through his focus.

The sound wasn't loud, and the rain falling almost masked it completely, but now that he'd heard it, Tony could distinguish it easily. It seemed to come from a small nook between buildings, not even big enough to be called an alley.

At first, it looked like a trash bag. And, to be fair, it kept looking like a trash bag. Except the trash bag was moving slightly, and whining.

"Oh no," he whispered, approaching it hesitantly. The whimpering was a somewhat good sign, he supposed, but...

When he gently pulled at it, trying to see how to get the animal out of there safely, it just about fell off, revealing one tiny, muddy canine that he hoped was a regular dog puppy and not something more feral. "Oh, sweetheart," he muttered. The thing was clearly too young to be on its own, eyes not even opened yet, and he knew he had to get it out of the cold immediately if he wanted it to have any chance of surviving.

It was far too cold to the touch, and Tony quickly unzipped his jacket. Hopefully, his own body heat would be able to help a little, until he could truly warm it up.

Hunching over the poor creature to keep it safe from the icy rain, he set a steady pace towards the Tower, not even paying all that much attention to the weather anymore. He was already soaked through anyway - the best thing to do would be to get back as quickly as possible so he could warm the both of them up over there.

There was hardly anyone on the streets - even the people who had remembered to bring umbrellas were mostly sheltering instead of trying to brave the winds.

Tony cursed softly. The rain had been bad enough, and every drop already felt like a rock hitting him due to how cold he was, but he could see how the rain was slowly shifting into hail. The creature in his arms couldn’t wait until it stopped, though. Even with Tony using his body to both warm it up and protect it from getting even more soaked, he could feel how weak its struggles were getting, hear the way it whimpered softly.

Finally, he could see the Tower in the distance. “Only a little further, sweetheart,” he assured the (hopefully) dog in his arms. “Only a little longer and we’ll get you warm and fed.”

As soon as he made it into the lobby, he addressed one of JARVIS’ sensors. “J, start up a warm bath on my floor, and we need some very urgent supplies for a very young puppy - or at least, that’s what I think it is.”

“Yes, Sir,” JARVIS agreed immediately, voice following him as he quickly stepped into the elevator.

He was dripping all over the floor, and despite the fact that the Tower was significantly warmer than it had been outside, he still felt like he was freezing. Unfortunately, so did the puppy.

When he got to his own floor, he wasn’t entirely surprised to see that Bucky was there, looking concerned. “JARVIS said you were back,” he explained his presence. “Damn, doll, you look like you’re freezing.”

“Feel that way, too,” he admitted. “But I couldn’t wait out the weather.”

“I’d have come to pick you up, you know?”

“Roads were too congested - everyone’s taking a car right now. And I had to get this little one somewhere safe and warm, quickly.”

Apparently, JARVIS hadn’t informed Bucky of Tony’s recent find, and when he opened up his jacket to reveal the tiny animal, Bucky looked absolutely stunned. “Is that a puppy?” he asked, voice almost reverent.

“Found it near where I was sheltering, in a trash bag,” he explained, grimacing. As the two of them were speaking, he kept moving to the bathroom. Not only was he more likely to get ill the longer he stayed in his soaking clothes, but the animal really needed to warm up quickly.

While he would usually prefer a shower over a bath, he hoped this would make it easier to get the animal clean and back to a better temperature.

“I have taken the liberty of alerting a veterinarian, who will also bring the supplies for your find,” JARVIS informed him.

“Good job, J.” Tony started to take off his clothes, only to find that it was quite difficult to do so with only one arm available. Still, he didn’t want to set the puppy down.

Of course, he wasn’t alone anymore. “Here, doll, let me help,” Bucky offered, holding out his arms. Considering he ran at a higher temperature than normal humans, Tony hoped it would help warm the creature up.

Quickly divesting himself of his clothes, he sat down in the bathtub. It wasn’t quite the high temperature he usually preferred, but he guessed JARVIS had done that on purpose - even now, it felt like thousands of pinpricks on his chilled skin. He didn’t have too much time to worry about it, though, instead turning back to Bucky and holding out his own arms.

“I’ll go make sure to get some towels warmed up,” Bucky offered, blushing when Tony smiled at him with infinite gratitude.

“You’re amazing, Snowflake,” he softly told his boyfriend.

With an adoring smile, Bucky leaned down to give him a brief kiss. “So are you, doll. A real hero,” he only half-joked. “Wish I could stay, but I better make sure you and your rescue can get warmed up quickly.” Then, he headed off, grabbing four towels to throw into the dryer so they would be warm when Tony got out of the bath.

Ever-so-gently, he washed the mud off the puppy, revealing snow-white fur. Fortunately it had been warmed up by his own body heat, so it didn’t seem to mind the water as much as Tony had. “There you go, sweetheart,” he told it softly. The whining had grown less, though he knew it was probably hungry. Who knew how long it had been out there before he’d found it?

Despite the fact that it was probably starving and feeling completely awful, it lied trustingly in Tony’s hand, and he could feel himself falling in love.

When Bucky came back, carrying the warm towels, he smiled when he saw the look on Tony’s face. “So… We’re keeping it, aren’t we?” His voice was soft and utterly non-judgmental, and from the look in his eyes, Tony guessed he didn’t mind at all.

He looked back down at the tiny animal, now wrapped in one of the warm towels and squeaking softly. “Yeah… Yeah, I think we are.”