Authors Who Write Fanfics With Angst, PLEASE, Indicate This Well In The Tags Or Notices, I Love Fanfics

authors who write fanfics with angst, PLEASE, indicate this well in the tags or notices, I love fanfics with angst but the tumblr filter is not so good so I can't find them (by the way, leave your recommendations below, pls)

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 5

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It was difficult to walk to work the next day. She wondered every time anyone glanced at her if they had been at the bar the previous night.  Logically, she knew that no one was paying any attention to her.  She didn’t have much of a relationship with most of the Jackson residents so they probably just knew her in passing.  But she still felt vulnerable and exposed, and by the time she made it to her quiet little work room she was overwhelmed with the wish that she had just stayed home.  Still, now she was there, she had made it.  With a sigh, she began to set up for her day.  

There were a few bags to be looked through that a group had brought back from a scavenging expedition.  She busied herself going through the clothing; sorting what could be washed and used right away, what needed patching or repair, and what was only good for scraps or rags.  It was all in good condition, including several pairs of mens jeans that still had store tags on them.  It was a great find, they rarely came across anything that was still “new” after twenty years of post apocalyptic living.  

After taking everything to the laundry and starting a few loads in the washers she was startled when she ran, quite literally, into Ellie who was coming out of her work room as she was going back in. 

“I’m so sorry!”  She said, when she realized what had just happened.  

“S’no worry,” the girl said.  “I wasn’t paying attention.”  

“Were you looking for me?”  Y/N asked, gesturing at the doorway.  Ellie nodded and followed her inside.  

“Wanted to make sure you were okay.”  The girl stuck her hands in her pockets and scuffed her boots against the floor.  “Heard people talkin’.”  Y/N felt her heart drop into her stomach.  She sat down and scrubbed her hands over her face.  

“I was afraid of that.  Word spreads fast I guess.”  

“It’s mostly about Joel.”  Ellie told her.  “Some of the kids at school heard he killed a guy.”  

“What?” Y/N’s head snapped up in shock.

“Of course he didn’t,” she rolled her eyes.  “Tommy told me what really happened.  Didn’t want to, but he did anyway.  Joel just broke the guy’s arm, but people are idiots.”  Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.  He broke his arm?  Ellie must have seen her confused expression.  “Oh, I guess you didn’t know that.”  She shook her head.  

“I didn’t.  I left pretty quickly.”  Ellie hopped up to sit on the work table, nudging Y/N’s knee with the toe of her boot.  

“But you know why Joel got so mad.  Tommy wouldn’t tell me but he let it slip you were there with him.”  

“Please, Ellie.  I really don’t want to talk about it.”  Just thinking about last night had tears prickling at the back of her eyes.  

“Well… The thing is,”  Ellie began, sounding uncomfortable.  “It’s my fault.”  

“Huh?  You weren’t there, of course it’s not.”  The girl chewed at her thumb nail.  

“I cut the lining in Joel’s coat.  So he would have to come see you.”  More confusion

rolled around in her head.  She thought back to the jacket, and how the seam had looked like it had been cut, instead of ripped like most of the repair jobs she received.  

“Why?” 

“Because he looks at you, watches for you.  And he listens when Maria or Tommy talk about you like he’s interested.  He pretends he isn’t but he is.”  Y/N didn’t know how to respond, too many thoughts happening all at once.  

“It still isn’t your fault, sweetheart.” She finally said.  “You didn’t make anyone say those horrible things to me.”  

“Ah-HA!”  Ellie jumped down.  “I knew it was something about you!  See?  Joel likes you and he like, defended your honor.  Like those dudes in your books.  But you got hurt and if I hadn’t ripped his stupid coat you wouldn’t have.”  Her fists clenched at her sides.  

“Ellie, sweetie,” she sighed.  “It would have happened sooner or later.  It’s something I’ve dealt with my whole life.  Maybe I thought Jackson would be a different kind of place, but the fact is there are folks that are gonna be nasty no matter where I go.”  She took one of Ellie’s hands into her own and loosened the girl’s fingers.  “You don’t need to carry that on your shoulders.”

“I heard Tommy tell Maria you looked so sad and hurt.  I would have broken more than that guy’s arm.”  For the first time since the whole ugly incident, Y/N laughed.  

“You know I really like you, kid.”  

“You don’t hate me?”

“Nah.  Can’t hate someone when they wanna break bones because some dumb guy was mean to you.”  Ellie’s face broke into a lopsided smirk.  

“Does that mean you like Joel?”  Busted.  

“You’re really sneaky.”  Ellie just shrugged and smirked more.  “I guess it does.  Is that okay with you?”  Another shrug.

“I mean, he’s grumpy as fuck and kinda old but I’m not stoppin’ ya.”  Y/N laughed again, and gave Ellie’s hand a gentle squeeze.  

…

She ended up working until all of the found clothing was washed, sorted, labeled, and stored.  Ellie had left her with a tangled web of thoughts, doubts, and confusion.  What did she mean that he looked at her?  Joel was nearly always on high alert, he watched everyone.  She couldn’t help but wonder if the teenager was setting her up, and the intrusive thoughts shamed her.  Ellie was rough around the edges, but she wasn’t malicious.  Still lost in her own swirling mind, she tidied up and left.  

The days were growing longer as spring edged winter out of Wyoming but it was still mostly dark for her walk home.  The dining hall was still crowded with people, so despite the hunger rumbling in her belly she decided against going there for dinner.  What if the man from last night was there?  She couldn’t stand the idea of running into him.  She was sure she had some bread and cheese left in her kitchen so turning away from the busy town center she started her commute back home.  

It was quiet on the street.  Some of the homes had lights on but they were mostly dark and silent.  She stopped in the road for a moment and looked up into the clear evening sky, the moon was only a sliver, but the stars were endless, and would only grow brighter as darkness fell more completely.  Something about the sight relaxed her, and she felt most of the tension of the last twenty four hours drop away.  Jackson was different, it wasn’t just like every other place in her life.  It wasn’t a cutthroat city, moving so fast you couldn’t stop even for a moment to take a breath.  It wasn’t a rapidly crumbling world, dissolving into disease and war.  It definitely wasn’t the QZ, full of men abusing their positions of power.  Jackson wasn’t perfect, but it was somewhere she was safe enough to pause and look up at the night sky to drink in its beauty.  

“‘Evening.”  Joel’s low voice called out from his porch.  She turned from the stars and smiled at him, leaning against a post and looking every bit the rugged cowboy from a story.  

“Hi.”  She noticed he was by himself.  “Ellie out with her friends?”  

“Movie night.”  For some reason his brief answers charmed her.  She really did like the man.  

“She came by to visit today.”  Y/N took a few steps towards him.  

“Yeah?”  She nodded.

“Had some interesting things to tell me.”  

“Did she?”

“Mmm-hmm.  Apparently that asshole left the bar with a broken arm.”  Joel’s stance went from relaxed to arms crossed across his broad chest.  

“Told you.  He got what he deserved.”  She stopped at the porch step, and tipped her head back to look up at him.  

“You know…no one’s ever stood up for me before.  I mean, I did my best before the world went to shit, but people like that…they like it when you react.  They want to see you get upset, so they know they have some kind of power over you.”  

“People like that are weak.”  His voice was hard.  “Gonna give me a hard time for bustin’ that guy’s arm?”  He looked ready for an argument.  

“No.”  Joel hadn’t expected that response.  

“Hmm.”  

“I don’t usually like violence, I’ve seen enough of it the last twenty years.  But I do like

you, Joel.”  The look in her eyes hit him hard and almost knocked him back on his heels.  “Ellie seems to think you like me too.”  She watched the muscle in his jaw tick.  

“She tell you that?”  

“Well, she says you look at me.”  

“You’re friends with my brother and his wife, you’re around.  Be rude to not look at you.”  

“So you asked me for a drink to be polite.”  He grunted.

“Not what I said.”  

“What are you saying, Joel?”  

“Why do you keep sayin’ my name like that?”  She put one foot up on the step.  

“Like what, Joel?” He gripped her arm and hauled her up to his level, but then seemed to regret the action and let her go like she had burned him. 

“I didn’t mean to…Sorry.”  He took a step backwards.  

“Joel.”  She reached out and touched his wrist.  “You don’t frighten me.”  

“I should.”  He looked at her with blazing eyes.  “You don’t know what I’ve done.”  She nodded in agreement.

“You’re right, I don’t.  But you don’t know what I’ve done either, what I’ve had to do to survive.”  Her right hand clenched and relaxed a few times at her side.  “I’m not here to ask you about what you had to do, and I’m sure as hell not ready to tell you everything about my past either.”  

“Then what are you here for?”  

“Just you.”  She looked down, suddenly shy.  “If you want me to be here, anyway.”  He lifted her chin with his finger.  

“I hate to prove that girl right,”  he said quietly.  “But I do.”  Y/N couldn’t help the nervous giggle that bubbled up in her throat.  

“Well here I am.”  Joel nodded and drew her closer.  

“You really are breathtaking, sweetheart.”

“I want to believe that,” she murmured.  “I’m trying to.”  She could see him looking at her lips, his tongue flashed out and wet his own.  “Please, Joel.” Her whispered plea broke him and he pressed his mouth softly against hers.  She clung to him like a burr, and for a brief moment he felt like a young man again, like they were just two ordinary people sharing a sweet first kiss on a spring evening.  It scared him, but the fear couldn’t overpower his desire to sink further into her embrace.  Something about this timid woman had wrapped around his heart and he didn’t want to try and unravel it.  After all he’d been through, maybe it was time he let himself finally try to find a little peace.  He gently pulled away and stroked his thumb over her neck where his hand had come to rest.  

“Would you like to come in?”  He asked her.  She smiled at him with a dreamy look in her eyes.  

“I’d like to say yes…”  

“But?”  He braced himself for rejection.  She cupped his cheek.  

“I’ve never…done this before.”  She felt her face heat up with embarrassment when she 

saw the meaning of her words sink in.  “I need a little time.”  He looked lost, like for the first time in a long time he couldn’t pretend he knew exactly what to do.  Y/N tugged him back down and kissed him again.  “Ask me again.  Maybe tomorrow.”  Joel’s lips quirked up in a half smile.  

“I can do that.”

They deserve some kind of Award

Miguel por favor but he’s been hunting down reader for MONTHS bc he made his own lil dimension traveling watch and is fucking around- he finds the chase incredibly annoying but also kinda 😏😏😏

miguel o'hara who's been obsessed with you from the very start, dark eyes lingering for merely a second too long. miguel o'hara who loves the thrill of a chase, he's more than aware of the risks that come with jumping dimension. miguel o'hara who can't help but think of you 24/7, he didn't know what it was that got him so hooked. maybe it was your smile, how pretty those lips would look wrapped around his cock, or maybe it was how soothing your voice was when you apologised for bumping into him, what would you sound like moaning out his name whilst underneath him?

miguel o'hara who uses one of his inventions to assist his tracking, sneaking around in order to find out your main locations. it really wasn't that hard, especially with the small chip that he'd managed to attach onto your suit. miguel o'hara who knows that you're aware of his interest in you. oh but you were so cruel to him. you played into this game of cat and mouse, scratching your nails lightly down his chest as you teased him with flirtatious promises.

miguel o'hara who caresses the flesh of your ankle before yanking you towards him, theres no way he'll let you run away from him again. not after he's finally won. miguel o'hara who will worship your body like a god, mumbling praises into open mouthed kisses and nipping down to cover you with deep hickies. miguel o'hara who will rub his cum into tender flesh, he's possessive so of course he wants everyone to know who claimed you. "all mine, baby"

mentions. @loversreligion @truetogaia @ronwestbreeze @moxtailz @fleursbending @stargirlrchive @ateezinmymind

★⌗ vesp's thoughts . . . this is all i could write bc i'm like half asleep but let me know if u want this as a full fic, enjoy!!

© 2023 dilfverz. ─ please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission.

Pls do one where The reader is like chubby and self conscience about her stomach and miguel convinces her that its okay and like fucks her 😋

I may have gotten carried away lol

Word Count: 1205

NSFW below the cut.

...

"Amor," Miguel called from the bed, "c'mere."

You ignored him, staring at yourself in the full-length mirror in your bedroom. You frowned, poking and prodding at your stomach, grabbing the soft skin in your hands and squeezing.

You hated it. You hated the plumpness of your body, the roundness of your hips, the thickness of your thighs.

Something about the day made you more self-conscious than usual, your eyes searching for every detail of your body to detest.

"Hey," Miguel called out again, "you coming or what?" You didn't turn around to acknowledge him, choosing to look at him through the mirror. His thick brows were raised, and his body relaxed as he lay comfortably on your bed with nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. He patted the empty space beside him, ready for the movie night you promised him.

“¿Qué te pasa, hm?" He stood, stretching his limbs before padding over to stand behind you, pressing his chiseled body against your back. His hands fell on your shoulders as he towered over you. You couldn't see his face, the mirror not long enough to reveal anything above the middle of his chest. 

You leaned back against his warmth, feeling tears prick your eyes. You couldn't really explain where all these emotions were coming from. You felt ugly, even more so with Miguel's perfect form standing behind you. 

His large hand skimmed your chest, fingers dancing over your collarbone and up your neck, gripping it gently before tipping your chin up, forcing you to look up at him. Your watery eyes met his determined ones, and he could see the uncertainty within. 

"¿Qué pasó, amor?" He asked again, stroking the delicate skin of your throat. You sniffled, a few traitorous tears slipping down the sides of your face. 

You hated crying—and over something so trivial, too. You felt ridiculous, ripping yourself from his grip to furiously wipe your face free of the salty streaks. 

"You gonna talk to me?" He pursed his lips, arms now crossed over his broad chest. 

"Look at me, Miguel!" You cried, pointing at the mirror with an open hand. He grunted, bending down comically to be at your level, gazing at you through the mirror.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" He asked, his eyes raking over your form. You were in your sports bra and panties, skin bare and glowing from your recent shower. 

"Ugh!" You dropped your face in your hands, almost in hysterics. Your words were muffled, and Miguel sucked his teeth, standing to his full height again, yanking your hands away from your face. 

"Hablame claro." 

You sighed, biting your lip. Your hands went back to your stomach and down the sides of your hips, sniffling. “Look at me,” you repeated softly, your fingers pressing into your skin, “I look…”

“Beautiful?” Miguel offered, pulling you flush against his chest again, wrapping his arms around you. You scoffed, turning your head away when he tried to place a kiss on your temple. “Hey, basta,” he warned, pinching the meat of your thigh. You yelped, slapping his hand away.

“But, my stomach,” you continued, almost whining, more tears beading at the corners of your eyes.

“What about it?” Miguel tightened his hold on you, one of his hands laying over the plumpness of your abdomen. He brushed his thumb back and forth over your soft skin, finally able to place a kiss on your temple like he’d been wanting to. Your shoulders sagged and you looked away from your reflection, laying your cheek against the warm skin of his arm.

Miguel wrapped his fingers around your jaw, forcing you to look back toward the mirror.

“Look at you,” he whispered, holding you close, “look at how beautiful you are. Hermosa.” His hands moved down the sides, gently groping along the way, “And all this for me, hm?” One of his hands snaked down your front and past the waistband of your panties. With two skillful fingers, he parts your lips, swirling them against your clit before swiping down toward your entrance. He tapped his fingers there, once, then twice, before slipping them inside.

“M-Miguel,” your voice hitched, hands gripping his forearms. You whined when he began thrusting his fingers, holding your squirming form by your stomach, “w-wait, what are you—”

“Showing you how beautiful you are,” he growled, spreading your juices over your clit and your lips, “Look at yourself, look how fucking beautiful you look like this,” again he forced your head to face the mirror, “abre los ojos, amor.” 

By that point you had your eyes screwed shut, but he repeated his command, and you opened your blurry eyes, focusing them on your face, flushed and with a sheen of sweat. Your panties had a large wet spot from Miguel working you, his hand digging deep into the meat of your belly, gripping you firmly as he worked to bring you pleasure. 

“Mira,” he marveled at you, watching your body move against his fingers, grinding your hips as he circled your clit, “you see what I see?” You whimpered when he shoved his thick fingers inside you again, moaning as you threw your head back.

“Uh-uh,” Miguel chastised, “don’t you dare look away, keep looking—mhm, that’s it, feels good, right?”

“M-mhm.” You were mewling now, Miguel’s fingers stretching you deliciously. Your eyes were glued to the mirror, and you watched his hand move under your panties, noting how the wet splotch grew larger, your slick spreading between your thighs. You looked so good in Miguel’s hands, your body seemingly made just for him to hold and play with. You felt his length pressed against your ass, large and hot, ready for attention. That aroused you more than anything, knowing that he enjoyed you just the way you are. 

He was going faster now, an unrelenting pace that had moan after moan pulled from your throat, until finally, you released a moan that informed Miguel you were coming undone, and seconds later, you were gushing all over his fingers and palm. 

“Damn, mama, never made you do that before, huh?” Miguel chuckled, smooching your sweat-slicked hair. 

“Huh?” You pant, finally dragging your eyes away from your reflection in favor of glancing down between your legs. You were absolutely soaked. Your panties were soaked through, your juices running down your trembling thighs. That’s never happened before. 

Miguel pulled out his hand from between your heated legs. He was coated with your slick up to the wrist, his digits and palm shiny with it. 

“You’re a squirter,” he grinned when you attempted to elbow him in the stomach, “that’s my girl.” 

He released you, using his dry hand to pull down his briefs while the other coated his cock with your slick. He pumped himself a few times, pulling back the skin to reveal his large tip, weeping with anticipation. 

“You ready for me?” He muttered with a tilt of his head, eyes heavy with arousal. 

You attempted to get on the bed but he stopped you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you against his chest once again. 

“Not the bed,” he said hotly, “in front of the mirror. I want you to watch.”

....

Amor- Love

Qué te pasa- What's the matter

Qué pasó- What happened

Hablame claro- Speak clearly

Basta- Stop it

Hermosa- Beautiful

Abre los ojos- Open your eyes

Mira- Look

to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 

summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office

warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death

word count:  4.1k

notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)

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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun. You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.

Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.

Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.

You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere. When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 

How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward. Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange. The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.

The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens. Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.

That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off. “That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.

“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected. “You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.

The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened. “You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned. “Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”

Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive. He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!” He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.

“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.” You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.” He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 

“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself. Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.

First though, you had to find Gwen.

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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao

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