How Do You Allow Yourself To Write Without Becoming Depressed By The Whole Process?

how do you allow yourself to write without becoming depressed by the whole process?

Hopefully my answer will be enough, but if you need to ask follow-up questions man, by all means, feel free.

When it comes to writing for RP, I don't get depressed by the whole process because I love it. I really, really love it. I may be ungodly slow, and definitely try my partners' patience when it comes to that, but I love it. I love reading people's replies, love writing my own. I love reading other threads that have nothing to do with me. I love reading other people's headcanons. Or when a crazy magic!Anon happens, like when Lucid ( @brokendreamscreation ) was turned human and just landed splat into the forests of the Pacific Northwest, I adore trying to keep up on that. I often can't, just because I am too busy during the day, but whenever I catch a glimpse? It's wonderful. Or, although they're someone who is pretty busy with university, when @aroyaltailor pops on and mentions something about their muse, it makes my day.

RP is about the writing for me, but also a lot about the people. I just really like seeing people happy, being part of their fun, even if a lot of the time I am just the audience cheering them on. There's nothing depressing about that to me. The hardest part, what does make me sad, is trying to choose well when it comes to mutuals. I want to follow everyone back, but know that I can't. If I can tell that we're not going to mesh because of differences in rules, or if someone just swamps the dash with endless content that's going to make it way too hard for me to see other people's posts (nothing wrong with that! it's just a difference in styles and priorities), I have to regretfully just not follow, or not follow back. I always feel like an asshole for that, not gonna lie, especially when they have already followed me. I'm not mutuals-only though, so in theory if someone wanted to write together and we weren't mutuals? I would absolutely be on board.

Writing doesn't depress me because coming here, even when it is hard, is an escape, a happy place. I was depressed the other day when I couldn't make sentences make sense--they all felt so slippery--but that was the fresh concussion messing with me, causing its own depression, not something resulting from the writing process. But even with that? I am so lucky, so fucking lucky, to be blessed with just the kindest damn mutuals, who have been so supportive and sweet even when I was feeling useless because of the concussion. There are some really special people to me, who even when they are posting with someone else entirely, just seeing them pop up on the dash gives me that little spark of joy that nothing can snuff out, like @botanikos and @visage-of-hell. There are people who know their muses backwards and forwards, who manage to take characters that a lot of the fandom sometimes seem to ignore, like @moxxietude who has just absolutely taken Moxxie and breathed so much life into him, and who could definitely convince me she was part of Viv's team if she chose to, her writing is that solid, that incredible. I just, like?? Fuck, man. And @poisonedspider is a fucking babe--Strode you're magnificent, don't fight me on this--and @infxnatum is one of those unsung heroes of the RPC, who will always go out of his way to send people messages, even when he doesn't get love in return. I feel like somehow, I landed in the best fandom of all, surrounded by the best people? And like I'm being a monster for not @'ing everyone, I am so, so sorry. I know the natural inclination is to feel left out but please, please, I love you fuckers, don't feel left out, I am just rambling so much and realize I need to end this. And just. Yes.

So, TL;DR?

It doesn't depress me because I am surrounded by the most wonderfully uplifting people, and I will do fucking anything for this fandom, I adore you guys.

And if you meant writing as in the writing I do for work--I am really lucky in that the majority of my content is queer, so I get to roll around in feelings and love for my own community. There are occasional non-queer things, like a short story here or there, or a random zoom lecture I was paid to give, or contract pieces--usually articles, always under dry af NDA contracts--that kind of suck sometimes, but being able to produce content for my community gets me through the hard times <3

(Also, I fight with depression constantly, so writing doesn't need to serve depression up to me. We're bros by now, and constantly knocking each other around).

How about you though, are you like--are you doing okay? Are there points you want to talk about? You can IM me, friend, always.

"Damn right!" Blitz couldn't stop smiling at how cute all of them were. "Hey, do any of them like scritches? These little fuckers are adorable. Yes you are, look at you! You're gonna grow into those big feet, and you're gonna get biiiiiiig chompers, and everyone's gonna live in terror, yes they will, oh yes they will."

The little dinosaur Blitz had scooped up blinked in confusion, but didn't really object to the affection. The imp was scratching it and rubbing its horned head on it, and that felt homelike enough to settle the dinosaur halfway to sleep.

Blitz looked up at Lucid before reluctantly offering it back out. "You tell me if anyone ever tries to hurt these fuckers. Oh, I will end a bitch!"

I mean Blitz brought Audrey II home. How bad could it be if dinosaurs come to Hell too? Lucid should definitely bring them all! What could go wrong? - @doublejango

Context xxx)

“You know what? You’re right! I will bring them all home. I bet Luci would be thrilled to have dinosaurs back too!”

for @botanikos's sweet Stolas, who deserves to be allowed to sleep in but unfortunately got involved with a gremlin. continued from here, because of reasons

.

"We're just going down to your kitchen, and don't worry, you're gonna love it!" Blitz declared with far, far too much confidence. Deep down, he had the sneaking suspicion that he might have maybe fucked up, and that Stolas might finally kill him... but hey, the chances were good that Stolas would actually love his present, right? So, fuck it! Hashtag Worth it!

He carried him towards the kitchen--and past all of the staff who might normally be going in and out of there. Now, they were all just standing there, some with wide eyes, some looking frustrated, one or two afraid. Their morning routine had clearly been destroyed by whatever Blitz had done--and one of them was tying the majority of Stolas's forks to himself, apparently as some sort of armor.

"I saw it," Blitz declared, "and the poor thing just seemed so stuck. It was squished up in a dumpster on Earth, and I know you're into this shit, so..." Pushing the door open, he carried Stolas through--and up face to face with an extremely large carnivorous plant. Hell had its fair share of them, of course, as did Stolas's palace--but this new plant, while very similar to some of his, wasn't from Hell. A few of his kitchen plants had edged away nervously, scooting as far away as they could get, while the 'rescue' Blitz had brought him sat proudly in the middle of the room, stretching its roots and vines.

At their entrance, the plant quickly wilted, putting on its most feeble, harmless act, just as innocent and helpless as a lamb--as innocent as it could look with one of Stolas's other plants still sticking partially out of its mouth, wiggling feebly.

Blitz set his baby down and hopped over to stand next to the hungry giant, holding his hands out like this was a prize on a game show. "Look! Ain't it great? It's like, exactly what you grow, right?"

The plant snickered under its breath.

Messing around with Stolas' grimoire has some unexpected consequences. In a swirl of magicks and ethereal shrieks, Blitzø is transformed into...a birb! Specifically an owl demon like Stolas himself. What's the first thing he does? 

"Aw, fuck me," Blitz swore, standing up straight and looking down at himself. Where the fuck was his tail? His--oh fuck, he still had a tail, it was just--it was--

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the FUCK?

Covered in feathers, ridiculously tall, he wasn't an imp. He didn't have horns. Glossy black feathers edged with vermillion, a white disc of tiny, tightly-packed feathers for his face, he didn't look like himself at all--but hoooo boy, he could panic like himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuck." Fumbling his phone out--oh christ on a fucking stick why was it so small?--he sent a handful of texts.

@moxxietude -> Moxxie I turned in2 a fucking bird WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

@ you -> PARAK WTF

@botanikos -> Stols i fukked up and have feathers might have ben fucking w ur book I M SORRY CAN YOU PUT ME BACK i lhave a cloaca tho i guess like we cud uknow wait no sorry long text, short question: HELP?

Bend over and think happy thoughts Blitz, it's annual prostate exam time!

"You know my anatomy is pretty different from a human's, right?" Blitz asked, about to argue--before he realized that actually, this was probably going to be a good time. So fuck it, why not? Taking off his belt, he looped it around the neck of the person flirting at him, tugged them close, and purred affectionately into their ear, "You can go first, baby, but I'm going to ruin you when it's my turn."

for the mun, how do you feel about writing explicit smexy scenes, do you get into it?

That's the $64,000 question, isn't it? I'll put most of this under a cut.

I don't mind it. When it is relevant to the characters, like when it shows their development, or how they are setting fears or worries aside to try out trusting each other, to experience vulnerability, then it can be a lot of fun to write. I need there to be some kind of context, and usually need at least some measure of a slow-burn approach. I know some things can surprise me with how much they make me uncomfortable, so I assume it can be the same for others. I strongly prefer that we be able to chat on Discord, because usually if we're to that point when hopefully we'll both be comfortable putting the brakes on if need be, for any reason. And it's just so much easier to check in and be like, Oh hey can I have my character do X thing?? to avoid potentially god-modding.

That all being said, I'm aroace, so I don't like... get turned on by smut? Although I've written with people who do, who really love writing it and will feel physically affected, or at least have told me they have. That's totally fine with me. I won't judge you either way. I also don't need to know. For me, if I comment something like Hot! -fans self- that isn't something I mean literally, it won't have actually affected me. Someone rambled to me for like an hour once about how much writing sex scenes turned them on and it just like, left me sort of bemused. I don't get it, but it sounds sweet and I'm happy for them if they feel that way.

As for plotless smut... I can write it, but you might feel like you're pulling teeth to get me to. And really, I'll probably only write it if we have a good rapport and have written together before. Because underneath it all... I still feel bad at writing smut. I'll do it, it'll be fun, but I will be constantly doubting myself and wondering, Is that too much? How do the allos feel?? People like that, right? xD Even while writing the most graphic DDDNE stuff, I'll be overthinking it, and like sitting here arms folded, staring at the screen, trying hard to come up with what my idiot would do next.

Whoooo okay this was a longer answer than you probably wanted, I'm sorry. I hope it makes sense. This took me a shockingly long time to write.