The Mun Is Presented With An [offering]

The mun is presented with an [offering] 

An Asvine P36 Piston Filling Fountain Pen, with a complimentary bottle of dark crimson "Writer's Blood" Diamine ink.

Listen, Writer's Blood is quite possibly the BEST INK OF ALL TIME. So if anyone is considering trying out a fountain pen? Do it. Do it. Get a cheapie fountain pen and get a bottle of Writer's Blood and indulge in the sweet sweet goodness. It's the only ink I have actually finished multiple bottles of. It's so smooth, it shades beautifully on the right paper, it has a subtle golden sheen sometimes, it looks like blood in the pen but a sweet soft purplish-red (blood with way too much wine in it; ie, writer's blood) on the page, and it is just. so. good! SO GOOD.

It's harder to use with a dip pen because it's just so wet, you need really good paper (Unison brand composition books, made in Vietnam, are AMAZING and affordable), but you can use it with a dip pen too, if you want to feel really extra.

Writer's Blood is amazing and this ask made me smile so much, thank you!

Messing around with Stolas' grimoire has some unexpected consequences. In a swirl of magicks and ethereal shrieks, Blitzø is transformed into...a birb! Specifically an owl demon like Stolas himself. What's the first thing he does? 

"Aw, fuck me," Blitz swore, standing up straight and looking down at himself. Where the fuck was his tail? His--oh fuck, he still had a tail, it was just--it was--

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the FUCK?

Covered in feathers, ridiculously tall, he wasn't an imp. He didn't have horns. Glossy black feathers edged with vermillion, a white disc of tiny, tightly-packed feathers for his face, he didn't look like himself at all--but hoooo boy, he could panic like himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuck." Fumbling his phone out--oh christ on a fucking stick why was it so small?--he sent a handful of texts.

@moxxietude -> Moxxie I turned in2 a fucking bird WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

@ you -> PARAK WTF

@botanikos -> Stols i fukked up and have feathers might have ben fucking w ur book I M SORRY CAN YOU PUT ME BACK i lhave a cloaca tho i guess like we cud uknow wait no sorry long text, short question: HELP?

Oh thank fuck, Stolas replied! Blitz's talons actually scratched the screen as he got his phone back out--fuck, fuck, fuck he was way stronger like this, this was fucking weird. He started to type a response, but when he pierced the screen? Realized that wasn't going to end well.

So, he called him, pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And the instant he heard Stolas's voice on the other end, he blurted out: "I was messing with your book and I had a papercut and forgot about it and might have bled on a page and the power's out here so I'm like, surrounded in fucking candles and--listen." He clicked and clacked his beak, then shook himself hard, ruffling all of his feathers.

"Can you like, fix me? I will give you head every day for a week. Two weeks if you want. Like, first thing in the morning. Or, or--fuck. Anything. This is--I can touch the fucking ceiling. Without climbing the walls. And I can hear everything." Pace. Pace pace pace pace pace. Was that how Stolas's ears worked? Could he hear absolutely everything too? And was his vision this insanely sharp? This was fine. Everything was fine. It was fine.

@doublejango from here.

He blinks at his phone. Stolas scrolls through their texts, looking for any indicator that might suggest the most recent one was a joke, some sort of weirdly themed prank. Eventually, he gets down to the text box and replies.

My devilish little imp, I don't believe it is possible for you to have a cloaca. Or feathers, for that matter. What ever do you mean. . . by all of this? Shall we meet?

^curses you with 2.3 terabytes of Stolitz mpreg fanfiction^

[text from Millie] hey Blitz! you ok?? sorry about the goat thing! made you a get-well basket. figurin' it's purty traumatic bein dressed like the chalupa cobra. it alrite to head over and give it to ya? <3 Mils

>>HAY GURL

>>yeh im GUD i gave 1 a stikker, BEST GOAT EVAR

>>i fuckin LOVE goats now

>>but i meen if u still wanna giv me a baskit i'm game

>>also am making dinner so cum over hungry, i gotchu

>>btw thank you i appreshiate you

All of Blitz's texts came rapid fire, and when he finished sending them he hurried over to open the apartment door and leave it cracked. He was indeed cooking, and with the fan on he might not hear her knock. It was good to be home! Being locked up had been miserable, although he had definitely been in worse situations. Really, it wasn't until those suit fuckers showed up that--well, shit. Fuck those guys. If they were ever going to invade Hell, it would probably have to be soon, considering they knew he was a Chupa Kadoobra Cobra Chalupa now.

He got back to work on the cooking--frying up something the store claimed was chicken, but you never knew in Hell. Blitz normally went ridiculously heavy on the spice for himself on nights when Loona wouldn't be home, but since there was a chance she would come in later and since Millie was definitely coming over, he went for a more reasonable, sane level of heat in the breading.

When he heard her steps, Blitz dropped his head back to look at her, absolutely beaming. "Hey, Mills!" And as soon as he had the last piece into the oil, he washed his hands, bounded over to her, scooped her up, and hugged. "You're a sight for dumb eyes. How are you? Everything okay? You guys party while I was gone?"

In EXES AND OOHS, Blitz mentioned that killing other demons in Hell "ain't exactly our business no more." So...what's the story behind that? What kind of hits did Blitz do before getting his [gremlin] hands on the Stolas' grimoire?

Anything and everything he could. He had to make ends meet and was fucking determined to do it purely with hits--honest day's work, honest day's pay, etc. Taking contracts for people in Hell wasn't his first choice, it always felt a little more sleazy, but he would do it.

He actually got into a lot more trouble, more dangerous situations, doing that than he has on Earth yet, even including the penguins, because Blitz had absolutely no problem taking on highly powerful targets. Blitz was getting hurt all the time, sometimes pretty badly, but it paid the bills. He did what needed to be done and set money aside, knowing that once he adopted a kid--which was part of his plan for a long time, wanting to do what little he kid to make help someone--his expenses would go up. But eventually, he started making enough money--and gaining enough notoriety--that starting up a new venture didn't feel out of the question anymore, and he couldn't have been happier.

He had to be a much more vicious person then, but he did it and did it well. Now, though, Blitz feels more like a person, more like who he wants to be--less like a monster. Which, you know. Still a murderer. But hey at least he's... not killing his own kind? That's a win, right?