Dotorin - Tumblr Blog

your daily walks wrapped

you soaked up 10,985 minutes of sunshine, rain, and other weather

you walked past 4,073 individuals you would describe as the most beautiful person in the world

you bore witness to 23% more of your local area than last year—good job!

you saw 3 of the weirdest dogs you will ever see in your life

you noticed 18 people visibly, tenderly in love with each other

you smelled 243 flowering plants & shrubs

you drank 267 delicious beverages

you were kissed invisibly and imperceptibly by 117 bumble bees and butterflies

you were witness to 87,441,289 gorgeous leaves

baby thought u wanted me tied down, started to chafe, but it's easy 2 see now u just wanted me safe

every time i make a mistake im like theyre going to put me down like a sick dog

do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me

what they didn’t tell you as a child is that you will spend your whole life trying to replicate the same unconditional happiness you so effortlessly experienced back then and that it will never quite feel the same no matter how hard you try

"it gets easier with time" have you ever considered I want it to be easy now?

one of my grandparents’ kittens taking a nap inside a toy truck

what they didn’t tell you as a child is that you will spend your whole life trying to replicate the same unconditional happiness you so effortlessly experienced back then and that it will never quite feel the same no matter how hard you try

All Quiet On The Frontal Lobe

Some time when I was a teen, somewhere a bit before my parents' second divorce, I came to a quiet realization:

Sometimes, when people love each other, they become different people. The togetherness changes them. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes not. And it's not the love that's at fault, or the people, or the change- it's just the nature of things, to become different over time, and if you cling too hard to the image of the thing you love as you first encounter it, you will be blind to the shapes it becomes until one day the new thing tied to your heart is suddenly clear to you, frightening and strange.

I don't know if this was a rational thought, or a true one, but it is the one that I had.

I was seventeen. Close to graduating. And I'd heard enough of people leaving for college, moving away, telling their friends that they would be friends forever, and then becoming strangers instead.

So I went to my friends, so close we were family, and told them, "Whatever happens next, whoever we become, I want you to know that what we are right now is good. Whatever comes next for us, if we grow apart, I want you to remember that now is good. Now is important to me, and I'm glad it's happened. It won't mean less because it's over."

Time has passed since then.

A few, I'm still close to.

Many more have grown apart.

Sometimes I pass the face of a friend on the street, who glances back with the eyes of a stranger.

Their fingers tangled in a stranger's fingers.

Their fingers clasped in a child's fingers.

Their fingers clenched around a broken pipe- dirty fingers.

And we don't talk. Niether of us.

Nerves? Uncertainty? Shame?

I don't know.

We nod. An understanding- an acknowledgement- and the moment passes.

I don't know who I've become to them. I dont know who they are to me.

But I hope they remember.

What we were was important, and it was good, and it doesnt mean less because it's over.

chen chen summer was forever :(

me preparing myself for the beautiful manifestations of change & growth in my life: fuck yeah!!!!!!!!! :D hell yeah!!!!!!!! yessss!!!! yippee!!!!!!!!!

me experiencing the grief & loss that comes with significant change: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

"i like having you around" is one of the loveliest things someone can say

A romantic postcard illustrated by Clarence Underwood and postmarked 1919, though the drawing is circa 1910.

How to feel like a person?

dont live with your mom

"I can fix him" good for you. I need to craft a scenario in which he betters himself, to prove to myself that I can meaningfully atone despite how much of myself I see in him.

claire schwartz, from poetry rx as featured in the paris review

INTIMACY IN FILM (13/?): MAURICE (1987), dir. james ivory

good god...

you ever accidentally create a recurring theme in your writing. you start putting together an outline for something you’ve never written before and get partway through planning, rearrange the pieces, and go “GODDAMMIT THIS IS ABOUT GRIEF AGAIN”? because let me tell you,

angel trueforms but they look like these chandeliers

inspired by this post