dorotheataylor - Old habits Die Screaming
Old habits Die Screaming

18 | a simp for fictional characters | Delusional AF | I write fics to feed my delusions

93 posts

Crying With You (taylors Version)

crying with you (taylor’s version)

Crying (Taylor’s Version)

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More Posts from Dorotheataylor

2 years ago

the amount of accuracy this holds is insane

dorotheataylor - Old habits Die Screaming
1 year ago

this was like the most honest review i’ve ever received for any of my fics lmaooo. Thank you sm for reading. Hope you liked it <3

Back to December

Pairing- Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

Summary- You broke up with him because you thought he deserved someone better than you. But here you stand, outside his door, apologising for that night, after realising you loved him too much to let him go. Based on Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.

Warnings- angstttt but fluff at the end, hurt/comfort, no curses!au, swearing (maybe), slight ooc suguru (hes called clumsy hehe), probably my english lol.

Word count- 2.3k (excluding lyrics)

A/N- atp yall just know how much big of a swiftie I am lol. So here’s a new fic based on another taylor song haha. And from now on I will write for JJK fandom too coz i’m obsessed lmao. Also this is a part of JJK x Taylor Swift series. Let me know if you find any mistakes coz this isn’t proofread and hope y’all enjoy.

Back To December

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You knocked three times on the door of the house you knew all too well as you picked your nails.

Will he want to see you? Will he shout at you? Will he tell you to get lost? Whatever he does, you knew you deserved it.

You stood outside his door impatiently, nerves getting the best of you while you waited for him to open the door. You could hear things falling down from behind it.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always the clumsy one. One of his things which you missed too much. Your eyes fell on thought of this. Oh how much you wished for a change in your mind back then.

You heard the lock of the door being undone and you started to freak out from inside. Was it a good idea to come here? Maybe. You were about to find out.

“Sorry for the delay. I was caught up-” You heard his voice quiet down when he saw you. God how much you missed his voice. You could listen to his voice every second of the day if possible.

You’ve been good, busier than ever

"Y/N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he took in your presence on his doorstep, as if he was making sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

The way he said your name, ached your heart. Because it wasn’t filled with love or warmth as before, instead it was more like recognising a stranger.

You took a deep breath before speaking, “long time no see, Suguru.” You smiled slightly.

He couldn’t believe it. He never thought he’d ever see you again after that unfaithful night. The wishes he made to see you every night before he went to bed actually came true. He could actually hear your voice after whole six months. He felt like he was about to cry.

Your guard is up and I know why

All he wanted to do at this moment was to take you in his arms and never let you go again. But he knew he couldn’t. What if you were here to make things even more awful than they already were? He couldn’t handle another heartbreak. So he stood his ground and decided to talk to you in a civil way.

“Come inside. It’ll start s-snowing soon.” He said, mentally cursing himself for stammering as he stepped aside to let you in.

“Thank you.” You muttered before entering his house. The familiar feeling came back to you. The aura and memories of his house, where you had spent countless nights together crashed into your mind like ocean waves. It was overwhelming and you did your best not to burst into tears.

“I’ll bring you something to drink. You can make yourself comfortable till then.” You heard him speak as he quickly walked into the kitchen.

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You knew he was doing his best to avoid a more than casual conversation with you. Because the last time you had talked, things turned bitter.

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

You still remembered that day like the back of your hand. He had showed up at your house with roses to surprise you and take you out on a surprise date. And you, being a stupid person, ruined it all.

“Here. I didn’t have anything else except for hot chocolate plus I know how much you love it.” He said handing you the cup filled with hot chocolate, his voice becoming a soft mutter at the last part.

‘He still remembers my likes and dislikes.’ You thought as you smiled softly at him and took the cup, your hands brushing a little. Your cheeks immediately turn red as you tried to hide them, while Suguru thanked the gods that his red cheeks won’t be obvious because it’s winter.

I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right

But you knew him. You were slightly relieved you still had some effects on him like before. How much you regretted leaving him like that. If only you could go back time and make things right.

You took a sip of your hot chocolate before speaking, “thanks for the hot chocolate, Suguru.”

Geto thought he’d just die right now. The way you said his name, it made him want to forget everything that happened and just hold you into his arms, never letting you go again. But he knew he couldn’t do that.

After some long moments of silence, you decided to break it and said, “how have you been, Suguru?”

“I’ve been- good.” He said with a pause in between. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know his mental state ever since you had left. “What about you?”

You couldn’t repeat his answer for this question, because you knew it was far from the truth. You couldn’t quite recall the last time you slept peacefully. Maybe it was when you were in Suguru’s arms, safe and loved.

Staying up playing back myself leaving

Your mind replayed memories of that unfaithful night, as if trying to torture you for what you had done. It had started to hurt physically. How much you just wanted apologise and hold him into your arms. But you knew you had lost that right. Why? Because of your stupid insecurities.

You had been in a few relationships in the past apart from Geto. And you were always called out for every little thing you did. Whether it was from the way you ate, or the way you talked, they’d make sure to remind you that you weren’t enough and weird, until they all left you alone. This lead you to believe the same, that you were the problem.

That was until you met Suguru. He was everything you could ask in a man. He was charming, a true gentleman, kind and caring boyfriend who never failed to remind you how much you mean to him.

And I think about Summer, all the beautiful times

You often daydreamed about all your memories from your relationship, from sneaking out at night to late night car drives, from celebrating each other’s birthdays to forgetting plans you’d made with your other friends. Your relationship with him was something you read in books about.

You still remembered the day when you realised that he was the guy you were going to marry someday. You had overheard him talking to Gojo about you. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but when he mentioned your name, your ears had perked up. And the way be kept on talking about how amazing you were and how much he loved you, you knew he was the one for you.

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept right into my mind

But of course you had to ruin it all. The ‘what if’ thoughts came back to you. The thought of losing him because you weren’t good enough for him, scared you. You had told him about your past relationships, and he always reminded you that you are more than enough for him and he loves you with all of his heart.

Fuck your stupid negativity. You tried to believe him, you really did. But your mind wouldn’t let you. So it lead you to the one thing which you knew you were going to regret for the rest of your life. You let him go. And you hated yourself for it.

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

You still remembered the way his face had immediately fallen the moment you spoke those words. He had tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen. And you had slammed the door shut on his face.

Geto didn’t stop bombarding your phone with countless texts and missed calls for days. But you didn’t reply to any of them. Until one day he stopped. Maybe he realised that he was just wasting time being after you. Maybe he realised that you were the problem after all.

It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

Wishing I’d realised what I had when you were mine

You thought you had did the right thing but turns out, you didn’t. You had only made things worse for both of you. Because you know what they say, you only realise the value of something when its gone. And it turns out that you had loved him too much. You couldn’t let him go. Because you had realised that he was too precious for you to let go and you couldn’t survive without him.

So here you were, six months later, on his couch, drinking hot chocolate. You slowly came out of your thoughts and said the only thing which came into your mind, “I’m sorry.”

To say Geto was surprised was an understanding. He expected anything but an apology from you tonight. Blame him for being conscious and hurt. He didn’t say anything, giving the cue to continue.

“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” You started, trying your best not to sob, “I know this is probably the last thing you expect from me and won’t believe me but I mean it. I’m really sorry. I’m such a fucked up person, who always makes things worse, ruins perfectly going on lives of people, who always lives in self-doubts.”

“Y/N, I-”, Geto started to say something but you cut him off before he could say it.

“Please let me finish.” Geto nodded in response.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry

“I miss everything about you, about us. I miss how every morning you didn’t fail to wish me ‘good morning’, I miss how you never forgot to check up on me, I miss how you always found a way to make me feel special. I miss how you always held me close to you whenever I didn’t feel like myself. And most of all, I miss the way you used to love me.” You said, tears now falling uncontrollably from your eyes but you don’t care, determined to make things right.

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t

So you continued, “thing is that I love you, Suguru Geto. And I love you too much to let you go. I made a stupid move by letting you go when all I wanted to do was hold you into my arms. And I hate myself for it. These past six months, I’ve been terrible. There’s not been a single day where I have not wished for myself to be somehow able to go back in time and make things right, stop myself from leaving. But I know I can’t.” You took a deep breath.

So if the chain is on your door I understand

“I know my actions are not something to be easily forgiven, but I promise to do anything to win your trust and love back. I’m willing to change. I’m willing to make things up with you. I swear that if you take me back again, I will love you right and never let you go. Because I have realised my life is nothing if you’re not in it. Please take me back, Suguru. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love.” You couldn’t speak anything after this, sobs continuously escaping your mouth.

Geto stood there, tears in his eyes as well, contemplating what to say. Your apology had caught him off guard, but he knew you had meant every word. He knew that his life was incomplete without you too.

But this is me swallowing my pride

You didn’t hear him speak for a good few minutes, so you take his silence as rejection. Of course he would reject you. You had hurt him, why would he want to get back with someone like you. You let out a shaky breath as a sigh, disappointment for you escaping through it as you stood up.

Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night

You attempted to smile through your tears. If this was going to be the last time you see him, might as well say goodbye with a smile.

“I got your answer, Suguru. Thank you for giving me best moments of my life. Maybe I didn’t get to have you back, but at least I can live on with your memories. Maybe I-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as you felt a pair of all too familiar lips on yours, shutting you up.

It turns our freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

You widened your eyes from surprise but immediately shut them as you kissed back, your hands reaching to hug his neck, bringing him closer to you. Suguru wrapped his one arm around your waist and other made its way in your nape, holding you just like he always used to.

Both of you could taste salty tears as you kissed, but weren’t sure who’s they were. All that mattered in that moment was the two of you. You poured all of your love, apprehensions, bottled up feelings for him, regrets into this kiss. He kissed you with same passion. As if your lips were the only thing he needed to survive.

Few moments later, Geto pulled away, foreheads still attached to yours, as he looked into your eyes. “Y/N, in these six months, you made me realise that the only thing which can complete me whole is you. Not getting to tell you these was tearing me apart. I thought I had lost you for good, but then you showed up at my door and all those feelings I had for you doubled. I love all of you, Y/N and I always will. And I’m willing to give us another chance, just promise me that you will talk to me next time you have those negative thoughts.”

Your heart melted hearing his words as you nodded, “I promise.”

Suguru ran his hand through your hair as he spoke again, “and I-I’ll need some time to completely forgive you. I hope you understand that. I’m just scared that you’ll leave me again.”

You quickly shook your head, “I mean it this time, Suguru. I’d never even dream of leaving you. I just got you back. And it’s okay. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for you, even if it is for an eternity.”

Suguru smiled at your words and pulled you into his chest as he swayed you slowly, holding you tightly close to him, and you finally felt complete again. You kissed his neck as you returned his gesture, silently promising him and yourself to never give up on him and let him go ever again.

I’d go back to December all the time

________________________________________

Ahhh I loved writing angst sm but it always breaks my heart if it doesn’t end with fluff. Anyways hope y’all liked this and if you want, you can send in request for JJK characters too!

(I might’ve gotten a little carried away at the end but i think it was worth it lmao)

2 years ago

thank you for 1k <3

Who he really loves

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Reader Summary - Who knew that one star-gazing night and a simple question could change everything?

Warnings: Super ‘fluffy’ (iykyk), very very little angst in between and as always my poor English :)

Word count - 1.3k

A/N: I've had this idea for a while so decided why not post it. So here it is. Hope y’all enjoy <3

_____________________________________________________________

Who He Really Loves

The cold prickly grass was nipping at your arms and legs through your clothes as you laid down near the Black Lake, and warmth radiating from your side where Harry Potter laid. The light from the stars and moon was the only source of light. The dim lanterns of Hogwarts seemed like fairy lights.

It wasn't uncommon for you and your best friend Harry to sneak out of the castle at late nights, or in this case very early in the morning. At this time, it was 1.45 am. For the most part it would be a comfortable silence, you both star gazing, deep in thoughts, or small talks about random things.

You had always loved space and everything about stars because everything about them fascinated you. So while you two lay in the grass, you often looked at the constellations or wondered about moon and it never tired you.

"Um, Y/N?" Harry called breaking the silence. You hummed in response not taking your eyes off the night sky.

"I need your opinion on something. Something important." His voice wavered a little, so this had to be important if he was so nervous about it.

"Oh okay, go on," you said and waited for him to continue.

"So, um, well, I-I think I'm in- in love with two different people," he said not looking at you but the moon and placing his one arm behind his head like a pillow, "and I don't know who should I go after."

"Well," you paused not really knowing what to say as no one ever has asked you such type of question.

"Well, tell me about the first girl. What do you think of her, how you feel for her." You said quietly finally getting a head start.

"Well, I've know her since our first year but didn't really start talking to her until our last. She is really pretty and I do like her, and I want to protect her but I think these feelings that I have kind of shrunk, when I realized I liked the second one. I know I still I like her but not just as much as I used to," he finished slightly glancing towards you. You were thinking.

"If you don't like her as much as you used to do, why are you still hanging on?" you asked glancing at him as well.

The moonlight made your skin glow and your eyes got a nice twinkle to them, and that one glance made Harry's heart flutter.

"Because I think she is the only one I really have a chance with and can have a two-sided relationship." He turned his gaze back to the sky.

You thought even more. There were so many girls out there who would date him in a heartbeat. And okay, you included. Because even though you've tried to deny it, you had fallen for him. And you'd fallen hard. Very hard.

You were best friends for years and it just happened. Maybe because it was the way he looked, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way his hair would always be messy, you just couldn't help it.

But this isn't about you, it's about Harry.

"Okay, now tell me about the second one." You said slowly coming out if your thoughts.

His face turned pink, "I realized it only a couple of months ago, but I thought it was just a crush but I don't know when this crush became more. I'm friends with her, and the more I am with her I only fall for her more. But I don't know if she feels the same." He said his voice getting smaller and smaller.

"So you knew you liked-loved the first one, correct? But then you fell for the second one?" you glanced at him.

"Yeah." He said simply.

"Well, who do you think you should go for?" you ask looking back at the sky.

"Um, I think I should go for the first one, as I loved her first right? And I have more chances with her." He said with the same quiet voice. "But who do you think I should go after?" he asked his hands getting sweaty as he waited for your answer.

You thought for some more time and finally came to a conclusion.

"I think you should go for the... second girl." You said. Harry's heart bounced hearing you.

"Why do you think that?" he asked a little more quietly looking at you with pink face.

"Because you said you still loved the first one when you realized your feeling for second, right? So if you truly loved the first one, then why would you fall for second one?"

The only sounds that could be heard now were of the crickets, some owls, rustling of winds in the trees and water from the lake.

Harry laid there quietly, taking in every word you said. It all made sense now.

Why he would mostly be awkward with you, why he would mostly get nervous when you're around, why you were the only one who could make him smile even in his dark moments, why he would seek only your cuddles and sweet words whenever he would have a bad day.

Thoughts went through his head and then he realized. He was truly and unconditionally, deeply and undeniably, in love with you. He was in love with your smile, your laugh, your silly jokes, your personality. He was in love with everything about you.

He just thought he loved Ginny but it was you all along.

"Why did you ask me this, anyways?" you asked bringing him out of his thoughts.

"The first girl asked me out on a date and I wanted to know who I really wanted to be with before I said yes." He admitted. You felt something inside you by thinking of him being someone else.

"And have you made up your mind?" you asked looking at him.

He had a soft look in his eyes and even though the night was chilly on the December night, they still gave a warm look.

"Yeah, I'm going with girl two." He said casually.

"Really?" you asked with a teasing voice.

"Yeah, I'm gonna tell Ginny how I feel about her tomorrow." He said as he let out a deep breath.

Your heart sunk deep in your stomach when you heard him. Some tears came but you blinked them back. Was Ginny the girl he loved?

"You- your in l-love with G-Ginny?" you asked trying to sound as casual as possible.

"No, she was girl one. She asked me out earlier today and I'll tell her tomorrow what I feel about her." He replied.

You were somewhat relieved hearing this but still worried who this second girl might be. He can love whoever he wants and it couldn't be possibly you right? You didn't stand a chance. But maybe you could help him get with her if you knew who she was. Then he would be happy. And that was all you wanted.

"So who's the second?" you asked your heart beating faster than ever.

Harry softly smiled to himself and looked at you. The smile never left his face. His green eyes glistening behind his round glasses from moonlight and his messy hair all over his forehead, you couldn't help but stare with pink cheeks.

"You."


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1 year ago

my blog looks so dead. like interact with me guys. I’m bored.


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