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holding hands

pairing: jisung (stray kids) + reader (g/n)

genre: fluff, mild angst, smut [ nsfw | mdni ]

warnings: 18+, explicit smut, minors do not interact, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex irl!)

a/n: thank you for 4,000+ notes! 🥺

posted: october 22, 2019

“Are you close?”

Your boyfriend was nearing his second orgasm of the night, thrusting into you with fast but deep movements of his hips against yours. Sweat was starting to collect at his hairline and above his upper lip in the dip of his cupid’s bow. His voice came out in labored pants. These were small things you always noticed about Jisung when you made love to him, and you loved every single one. But there was one thing he always did that made your heart melt even as he did the most crude things to you below the belt.

You nodded, your fingers carding through the damp hair at the back of his neck. His skin was hot to the touch and slightly damp from the workout he was getting at the moment. His hands were buried in the sheets on either side of your head, but they were about to do exactly what you wanted them to do.

As his thrusts got faster and sloppier, you prepared yourself as his hands went to yours, interlocking your fingers with his. Your knuckles as well as his were buried into the sheets underneath them. He came with a strangled groan that got stuck in the back of his throat. His face was buried into the skin of your neck, his arms growing weak as his energy drained. His hips slowed to a halt, but he stayed put inside of you for a moment. His fingers squeezed yours gently and slowly, and even though he did that a lot, you were almost certain it was subconscious to him. You’ve had sex with Jisung several times over your three year relationship with him, but it only took you a few months in to realize he held your hands almost every time he came. It became a sort of tradition. Neither of you ever said anything about it, but it was one of your favorite things that he did.

After both of your breathing went back to normal, his fingers detached from yours as he kneeled away from you. He climbed off of the bed to put his pajamas on, and you went to the bathroom to do your quick nightly routine. When you were done you dabbed you’re face with a dry towelette and turned the bathroom light off behind you. Only the lamp on Jisung’s side of the bed dimly lit the room now and graced you with one of your favorite sights:

Jisung, sitting up in bed with his slightly messy hair pressed into the propped pillow behind him. His glasses sat on his nose, little squares of light on each circle of glass reflecting his phone screen as he scrolled through whatever app he was on. From where you stood you could barely tell that his top row of teeth were nibbling into his lower lip. When he saw that you were done in the bathroom he glanced at you and smiled.

“Babe, they really have Buzzfeed quizzes for everything these days. Listen to these: name your favorite desserts and we’ll guess what your favorite tv show is. Like, how do those even correlate?” you grinned at his sense of absurdity, “And this one: Pick your favorite pizza toppings and we’ll tell you what your sex habit is.”

“That one outta be interesting,” you joked, slipping into the sheets beside him. You rested your cheek against your pillow, facing your boyfriend. You didn’t understand how someone could look so attractive from this view.

“Yeah, I think I’ll take it just for shits and giggles.”

Your eyes started to close after a few seconds of listening to the pads of his fingertips thumping lightly against the screen of his phone. You knew he was finished when he mumbled to himself, “See? These are so stupid.”

“So what is your sex habit?” you asked teasingly, surprised by his answer.

“Hand holding? I don’t even do that.”
You let out a small laugh, “For a dumb quiz it’s pretty accurate.”

“What? No, I don’t hold your hands during sex,” he paused, “Do I?”

You opened your eyes to look at him, seeing an expression on his face that told you he wasn’t joking, “Ji, seriously? You do it every time we have sex. You just did it.”

“You’re joking.”

“I am not,” you scoffed, “Right before you orgasm. It’s usually only when we do missionary, but you’ve done it quite a few other times.”

Jisung looked like his mind was genuinely blown, and you found it rather funny. All this time you thought he was aware that he did it, but he had no clue. You weren’t sure if that made it even more adorable or if it was upsetting because you thought he did it on purpose this whole time. He combed his fingers back through his hair, staring off into the air in front of him. You could see it in his concentration that he was trying to recall all the times he had held your hand during sex, but he couldn’t think of even once. He didn’t even remember doing it just minutes ago. He shook his head slowly, “I can’t believe it. If I have, I really don’t remember. You know what? Whatever, I’m just gonna try not to do it from now on then, since I do it so damn much apparently.”

A small frown fell on your lips, but you didn’t say anything because he was already closing his phone and setting it on the nightstand as he turned the lamp off. The room was coated in darkness and the next thing you knew you were falling asleep with Jisung’s arm wrapped around your waist.

A few days passed and you were sharing the same intimate moment with Jisung before bed, just on the brink of your orgasm. You knew he was close by the way his nose kept scrunching the deeper and longer he went. So you prepared yourself for it, raising your hips to meet his and letting your fingers fall open loosely on the sheets beside your ears, ready for him to grab them in his. But he never did. Instead his fingers stayed gripped in the pillows around your head as he came. Your fingers felt empty, and you didn’t feel as satisfied, like something was wrong. Incomplete.

Jisung pulled away from you with one last kiss to your cheek, and a few minutes later you found yourself back in bed, lying beside him as he did his nightly before-sleep scroll through Instagram. You hummed in agreement as he said something about a post he saw, and then the two of you fell asleep.

It went on like this for another two weeks, the few times you made love he didn’t hold your hands at all, and you found that it was bothering you more and more. You weren’t sure why it affected you this much, but in a way it became apart of your routine and it felt unfulfilling to not experience it anymore. Though you missed it, you didn’t bring it up to Jisung because you knew he was doing it on purpose.

It wasn’t until one morning when the two of you were sharing breakfast at your kitchen table that it was brought up again. He scrolled through Buzzfeed quizzes again, telling you once more about the ridiculous things he saw but continued to take.

“Like what do bagels have to do with Disney princesses? I really don’t understand it,” he spoke, his voice coming out in an adorable whine.

You rolled your eyes with a smile, “I don’t know, Ji. I mean, the last one you took was accurate so who knows? Maybe some of them aren’t bullshit.”

He shook his head, “No, I don’t hold hands anymore, if I even did it in the first place.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” you didn’t realize you had sighed after you spoke, but Jisung definitely did. However, you changed the subject before he could ask what your problem was. The rest of the day you cleaned the house together, room by room until the entire thing was clean, top to bottom. When you finished up it was almost dinner time, and the two of you decided to pick up a pizza after you took showers.

Jisung watched as you walked around your shared bedroom, picking out the clothes you were going to wear for the rest of the night. To clean today, you had worn one of his shirts and a pair of your comfortable gym shorts. He loved seeing you like this; comfortable and all for him. You caught him looking at you in your peripheral, “What are you looking at?”

“The most beautiful person on earth,” he replied cheekily, making you roll your eyes as your cheeks warmed up.

You had just gathered the last of your clothes when he came up behind you and took them out of your hands. Before you could ask what he was doing he had his lips pressed to yours. You didn’t complain as he backed you into the dresser behind you, his hands cupping you’re face gently as he deepened your kiss. Your own hands rested at his slim waist, holding the fabric of his t-shirt in your fists.

That same t-shirt ended up on the floor along with yours as he guided you to the bed. Next to go were both of your bottoms, falling into the same pile with your shirts. His lips latched onto your chest and neck as his hand guided his member into you. The both of you let out content sighs as he filled you up and started a steady rhythm that satisfied the both of you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear, making your chest constrict with butterflies that never seemed to go away despite the many years you spent with him.

His lips tangled with yours, moans muffled by each other’s tongues as his hips rutted against yours. Your fingers were wrapped around his biceps, feeling your climax just about to approach. Jisung’s thrusts got slower and deeper, making you sigh from the pleasure he never failed to bring you.

You were moving your hands to his neck as the beginning of your orgasm started to wash over you, but you were startled when Jisung’s hand ripped them away from his skin. Instead, his digits roughly intertwined with yours as he pushed them into the pillow above your head. At the same time his lips crashed onto yours, translating all of his love into a language only your lips could understand.

You came with him, his thrusts slowing until he jerked to a finish with a grunt, his lips continuing to move with yours until he had to separate to breathe. His fingers started to sueeze gently against yours only this time it felt intentional. Comforting.

A small smile graced your lips as your flushed cheeks grew warmer, “You did it. You held my hands again.”

“Yeah,” he admitted shyly, little beads of sweat crawling down from his hairline to his eyebrow, “I didn’t realize you liked it so much when I did it. I thought it was annoying.”

“I never said it was,” your smile softened, “Out of all the little things you do that make me love you, that’s probably one of my favorites.”

He grinned, the chubbiness in his cheeks making your heart jump. His fingers gave yours a long, final squeeze as he kissed you once more, “Well then, as long as you love it I’ll keep doing it.”

You returned his kiss with the brewing love and passion you held for him for so long, “I love you so much, you know that right?”

“Of course I do.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ thank you for reading! if you enjoyed this timestamp, please feel free to leave a like, reblog, and/or a message in my inbox! i would love to hear your feedback! ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

the enemies to lovers project | lee minho

𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚: 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵; 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘶, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧

𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣: 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 – 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘺, 𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: ~18𝘬+

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘢/𝘯: 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺!!! 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦! 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘩𝘩 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 >.< 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵! 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥!

prologue.

“You know I despise you, right?”

“Oh, despise. Such a big word, baby,” Minho drawled with an obnoxious smirk, the one that simultaneously made you want to rip his hair out and kiss those perfectly delectable lips of his, “If it’s any consolation, I abhor your presence as well.”

“Wonderful,” you crossed your legs, a smile creeping onto your face as you leaned backward in your chair, “So why exactly are you here?”

Minho laughed, “The same reason I presume that you’re here for. A hundred dollars to put up with you is a tempting offer.”

Keep reading

don't fall in love 𐀔 myung jaehyun

genre : mostly fluff, first love coded ⋆ warnings : none but reader doesn't like basketballs ⋆ word count : 1,811

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ୨ ✩ ୧

you don't particularly like basketball. you even hate basketballs because you're always afraid of getting one in the head — boys are often far too brutal when it comes to sports, their competitive spirit often takes over, and the desire to impress others can be felt in the strength of their shot. but when the only boy who ever made your heart beat madly, asked you to come to one of his basketball practices, you didn't hesitate for a second before accepting.

myung jaehyun has always been your buried secret — of course, there were other boys you might like, but it was him you wanted. from the back of the classroom, you could spend hours admiring him (and you weren't the only one) : his smile so big and bright that it overshadowed the sun, his hair always slightly in disarray from running around like a hyperactive kid, his school uniform' shirt always a little too open and his tie undone, revealing his sports shirt normally concealed underneath, but above all, his laughter, capable of chasing away every bad vibe in the air. he was always so kind, good-humored, funny and thoughtful, helpful, and full of other positive adjectives that didn't come to mind. you always found him interesting and intelligent, and not a day went by when you didn't squint a little too long at his concentrated face during classes. he's so cute, his lips slightly pursed together and his eyebrows furrowed, all bathed in the sunlight streaming through the window. nobody ever noticed your big crush on jaehyun, not even when you can't take your eyes off him and chew the end of your pencil until it almost breaks — and if, by chance, any of your friends knew, they were good at hiding it from you.

in spite of everything, the truth needs to be told : you're one another of the countless people interested in myung jaehyun. but even though so many people have already confessed their love to him, jaehyun never really showed much interest in any kind of relationship. he seems pretty focused only on his friends, classes and basketball practice.

or so you thought.

until the day he came up to you at the end of class, catching up with you, almost shouting your name, and trotting off to reach you. you don't know what face you must have made when you saw him standing in front of you — it was either embarrassment, curiosity or shyness, or a mixture of all three. but you didn't care at that time, because the boy you'd been watching so silently from the back of the classroom was standing in front of you, more handsome than ever with his sun-drenched face and a shy smile on his lips. his hand suddenly found your wrist, and the soft skin of his fingertips sent an electric field down your arm. you looked at him with doe eyes, noticing the way his eyes kept juggling between yours and an invisible spot on his right, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

after a few silent seconds in which you simply admired his sweet face, a little too perfect to be real, jaehyun spoke up and caught your attention. « can i have you number? » he asked, so softly, his voice vibrating your heart — so much, that you felt ready to faint. nodding shyly but positively, jaehyun seemed far too pleased with your answer, handing you his phone without hesitation. grabbing it without a second's delay, your eyes were riveted on the screen, before his voice drew your attention a second time, « i'm myung jaehyun, by the way. i should have started there.. » — a slight nervous laugh left his rosy lips, which made you look up at him, a smile hanging on your lips. « i know who you are. » you answered naturally, before typing your number into the contact section, not noticing the way his eyes lit up right after your words.

« you know me..? » he asked, as if it were completely inconceivable for him to believe this new information. a chuckle slipped out of your mouth, and your eyes locked with his as you handed him his phone again. « who doesn't? » you said, and you weren't really wrong on that thing. myung jaehyun was probably one of the most popular boys at your school, as cliché as that may sound : he was good looking, captain of the basketball team, and above that, he was wearing his heart on his sleeve. jaehyun had everything to please, and that's what made him so popular. and you weren't the only one who noticed it. you had a lot of competition if you decided to seduce jaehyun, which was why you'd always stayed on the sidelines in the first place, but now, seeing him so close to you and melting under his honeyed voice, nothing made you want him more than to have him all to yourself. it's amazing what love can do to you.

a timid pink tinge clung to the apple of his cheekbones, and you swore that never in your life had you seen such a pretty boy. his eyes carried all the sun's glow, and the smirk on his lips seemed more shy and flirty than teasing. jaehyun, who always looked so sure of himself, seemed troubled and distraught, as if he didn't expect you to pay any attention to him. of course, he had already noticed some of your gazes riveted on him, your pupils burning his back, but he never had the guts to come and talk to you.

or at least, until now.

poor boy — he was too obvious, but you were too oblivious. how could you not notice that he was interested in you? jaehyun decided to change strategy when your fingers brushed his as he retrieved his cell phone, a chill running down his spine. « oh, i wanted to ask you something, » he began, regaining a certain composure and energy that you liked so much, « are you free on friday? »

staring at the sky for a few moments, you thought about whether or not you already had plans, when you knew perfectly well that wasn't the case. finally shaking your head in the negative under jaehyun's watchful gaze, you gave him a pretty smile, « i am. why do you ask? »

jaehyun seemed far too delighted by this sudden revelation, and moved a little closer to you, his hand rising close to your face. just as you thought his fingers were about to reach your cheek, you stared into his eyes for a few seconds to see where he was looking : a little higher, his gaze wandering through your hair. the next moment, his index finger and thumb grasped something in your hair — something small, fine and pink. a cherry blossom petal. watching the petal twirl between his pretty, skillful fingers, the boy finally catches your eye, his gaze fixed on yours. and when he spoke, you swore you felt like one of this female leads straight out of a kdrama, « would you like to come and see one of my games? »

the wind rustled around you, slipping between the branches of the cherry blossom trees, and suddenly, a shower of pink petals fell on your shoulders. a scene straight out of a romantic film — which made your heart beating with happiness. it was almost unreal, the timing was perfect, and the twinkle in his chocolate orbs made you want to twirl in the clouds. you weren't much of a sports fan, quite the contrary, but seeing jaehyun's bright smile on a basketball court was worth all the effort in the world. so you nodded gently, positively, hoping he wouldn't pick up on the excitement creeping through your veins.

« of course, it could be fun. » you affirmed, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear and looking away. jaehyun suddenly felt his heart racing, like when he approaches a basketball hoop and adrenaline rushes through his muscles, having succeeded in inviting you had the same effect on him as winning a match. the overexcited boy shook his head like a happy puppy, before taking another step towards you, the sudden closeness catching you slightly off guard. your eyes opened a little wider than normal, planting themselves in his, which seemed a little too unkempt for your liking. out of the corner of your eye, you saw jaehyun run his tongue slowly over his lower lip, his gaze juggling from one eye to the other with the most tender smiles on his mouth. the image of his face surrounded by cherry blossom petals remained etched in your memory, you don't want to forget the way he looks so sweet and so hot at the same time.

« nice.. » he whispered, his fingers moving to reach your cheek and graze your cheekbone with the tip of his index finger, « don't fall in love with me after seeing me play. » — after his words, your heart raced in your chest, wildly, the words stuck in the back of your throat for long moments, far too surprised by his bold declaration. you hadn't yet realized that he was actually flirting with you (or maybe you just couldn't believe it), but now you knew for sure that jaehyun wasn't messing with you. in a burst of pure courage, your fingers innocently slipped around his tie, putting it back in place as you nodded, a look of understanding on your face. then, you stood up on tiptoe and put your lips to his ear to whisper the following words, « i can't promise you anything. »

with as much good as bad, and after a light chuckle, jaehyun tried to hide the smirk on his lips, but failed miserably when your gaze shifted from his eyes to his mouth the next second. the poor boy thought his heart was going to explode — but he had to remain calm and wise so as not to hurt his own dignity. nevertheless, satisfied with your answer, jaehyun offered you one of those smiles that only he knew the secret of, making your heart tremble with shyness, « good.. i'll see you on friday then? »

trying to ignore the fact that his fingers kept brushing yours, you confirmed his words before moving gently away from him, taking a few steps backwards to admire his face for as long as possible. as for him, he stood there like an idiot for long minutes, before jumping up in a victorious rush, a huge satisfied smile hanging over his mouth. oh, he can't wait to make you fall in love with him.

reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated !

taglist ౨ৎ @leehanist @wtfhyuck @florainnie @dazzlingligth @yuma-is-mine @lilriswife4life @leehanascent @wantmatthew

I'm here to VENT. mayor warnings about SA

As days goes by i keep hurting. i've been kinda boycotting Lose My Breath and i say kinda bc i didn't report posts nor playlists but just shared info about why it is so hard for some of us to listen to the collab, the gen0cide going on and the fact that man is a r@pe apologist and a zion!st. I am a SA survivor myself and its hard for me to see the boys supporting and promoting this song so much. I detached from their music since the collab dropped cuz i couldn't block it on my spotify for some damned reason and i was terrified to hear him or this song.

Today after what i feel was a long long time Cover Me came on shuffle and i started to cry right then and there bc i missed my boys so fucking much and i felt like i was losing them. I don't know what to do about my feelings anymore and idk if im the only one feeling this way. Please just help me.

---

DOES HE KNOW ? (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: after being friends with lee chan for a good portion of your life, the boy you considered nothing but your best friend suddenly starts acting different, making you slowly fall for him. problem is, you have a boyfriend.

content: friends2lovers!chan, reader has a bf, almost cheating but not actually, afab reader, smut, oral (f receiving), wet dream (this is actually a huge point in the plot lol), masturbation (f receiving), dry humping, more oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 1k (teaser); 9.8k (full fic)

release date: april 17th

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: rewrote this so many times but finally finished it!! i love writing channie so i hope u guys enjoy<3

masterlist

support me through a one time tip<3

Something was clearly wrong with you.

Was Lee Chan hot?

Nothing made sense anymore, and it had been the case for a while.

You could date it back to some months ago, at one of Soonyoung's usual gatherings. This had been where it all began, or more so, where it all ended.

For some reason unknown to man, that was the day in which Chan began courting you (his words, not yours).

After years of a solid friendship between the two of you, a not-so tipsy Chan cornered you at aforementioned party and began dancing with you. This was a common occurrence between the two of you. Despite having been taken for the past few months, you were still quite liberal about your touchy relationship with your best friend. However, what happened next what was truly out of the ordinary.

"Hey," he had whispered against your ear.

"Yeah?", you giggled, entertained by the boy.

"Wanna know a secret?"

"Sure."

"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you," and with that, the dam had broken.

You froze against his arms, eyes widening. Though he could not see, as you were holding each other far too close to make eye contact.

Maybe he was drunk?

He interrupted you before you could respond. Chan pulled away from you to look into your eyes with a fully sober look in his face.

"I'm not drunk, and I know you have a boyfriend. And I know you only see me as a friend. But give me a few weeks, and I'll change both those things," was the last thing he said before giving you a peck on the cheek (yet another common thing in your relationship) and walking away with a confident sway in his step.

Ever since then, you had been bombarded by romantic gestures from your former best friend – former because you truly had no idea how you felt about him by this point.

Chan bought you flowers, – even when it was raining – had your favorite beverage at hand any time you so happened to see him, tied your shoelaces should they ever come undone, plucked loose eyelashes from your cheeks, tucked your hair behind your ear, placed his hand at the small of your back before crossing a street, walked you to and from home, looked at you with an indescribable sweetness in his eye, he ... He did everything any girl would need to be completely swooned (and then some).

You were beyond confused as to when this change had come about. As far as you knew, you were nothing more than best friends. When had Chan even begun liking you? What had changed?

"Oh. He's always had a thing for you," was what your mutual friend Soonyoung said when you first brought it up.

"What do you mean? We've been friends for years, he's never-"

"Yeah, duh. You never showed interest, what was he supposed to do? But yeah, he's crazy about you," added Seungkwan, sipping his drink nonchalantly.

You had decided to meet up with some of your mutual friends while Chan was at work. You needed at least five minutes with your other friends without Chan getting in the way with his flirting.

"It's kinda sick, actually," interjected Soonyoung once more.

You remained quiet for a while, thinking back to every interaction you'd ever had with Chan that may have revealed his feelings for you. Unfortunately, you kept drawing blanks all the while Soonyoung stole fries from your plate, disregarding your confusion at the situation.

"But why now?", you finally asked, slapping his meddling hand away from your food.

He shrugged, "Maybe he got fed up of watching you with that guy."

"He has a name, Soonyou-"

"None of us really care enough to learn it."

That much was true. None of your friends were fans of your current boyfriend. Or of any of them, to be quite frank. You had certain lack of skill at picking them, though this time around you felt confident about your current relationship. He was nice and respectful. Maybe a little bit of a square, but you liked to think you brought out the fun in him. This was also the longest relationship you'd ever had, giving you the grand total of three months in a exclusive relationship and a month and a half of a very prolonged talking stage that took place before he ever asked you out officially.

"Is this because I've been taken for longer than usual?", you tried to assert.

"Oh! That might be it, huh?", Soonyoung agreed.

"Well, I guess he didn't want you to break your streak of failed relationships," chuckled Kwan.

With a slap to his chest, you dropped the subject, deciding to ignore the slight acceleration of your heart any time you thought about Chan's crush for too long.

At first you found it to be a bit of a joke, but his affections quickly began to wear you down. It also didn't help how blatant he was about it, constantly flirting up a storm around your friends, not caring for their amused smiles at your flustered half-rejections of his advances. The only times in which he held back were the rare occasions in which your boyfriend would join your friend group in their outings. He could be reserved at times, not really clicking with your loud friends, so his presence was not a common thing.

Being honest, you felt kind of bad at the genuine excitement Chan's crush gave you. Though you weren't sure of your feelings for him at this point, his interest flustered you tremendously. You'd always known him as a pretty and charming guy, despite never really acknowledging such things. You understood why he got so much attention from girls, though you never thought too much of it. He was your best friend, you never had any motive to consider anything further than platonic feelings for him. But now that you were questioning your feelings, you felt as if you were kind of betraying your boyfriend.

Not to misunderstand, you had no desire of pursuing anything with anyone while you were in a committed relationship. You were just not that kind of person. But the mere thought of blushing at the words of a guy who wasn't yours (all while actually having a guy of your own) made you feel ashamed. Specially considering that you already had a very grand preexisting fondness for the guy in question.

God damn you, Lee Chan.

...

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everyday i wake up and i go “god i’m so tired. i can’t do this anymore.” and then i get up and i continue to do it

DREAM IN A DREAM ten is…….really in love with you. wc1826

wayv fic. n\fw. f!reader. this is slow and sleepy, drawn out domestic bliss if there ever was any. cuddling; kissing; sonmo (sort of? nothing blatantly sexual…more physical intimacy than anything else but the reader isn’t awake); nipple play/dry nursing; marriage joked about/thought of; slight m!masturbation

It’s still dark when Ten wakes up, eyes blinking slowly at the window in an attempt to figure out if it’s the middle of the night or nearly morning before realizing it doesn’t really matter- it’s still dark and he doesn’t have to wake up yet. That’s all that matters, because it means he can stay in bed for at least a little longer with you.

He sighs, soft and sleepy, before drowsily cuddling into the back of your shoulder, stealing a bit of your warmth as he attempts to fall back into his dream. But, it’s fruitless, and he finds himself sighing again, a little louder this time before pulling away from you to lay on his back. He doesn’t get very far -his legs are still tangled with yours, hips still fit against yours, and his arm is trapped under you-, but it doesn’t bother him much because he’s always been all yours, anyway.

Whatever dream he’d been having is fuzzy in his head, more of a phantom feeling than a memory, leaving him dragging his fingers through his hair as he attempts to recall it. He remembers feeling safe and warm and in love, so he figures it was about you. Unabashedly, really.

Keep reading

you have no idea how much i looked for this one, since the 3rd part around Jan 2021 AND FINALLY FOUND IT OMG but it hurts so deeply to know its not finished yet, at least now i won’t lose it again

-Embers- (5)

— wc: 10k

Who could it possibly be?

You sat up slightly, confused. Rubbing your eyes, you stood up shakily. Was it Felix, finally come to get you? Or Jeongin, perhaps?

Who in their right mind would venture out to you when the downpour was this heavy? You took in an anxious breath, slowly lifting yourself up.

As the knocking continued, you stood up and walked over hastily, deciding to open the door before it could get any louder and cause the dragons to wake.

Your hand closed around the handle, your heart slamming against your ribcage in fear, reminiscent of the raindrops falling against the stable walls.

Finally, you pulled the door open.

Your eyes widened as you stared at the last person you’d expected to see.

There he was, in front of you. His heavy, dazed eyes wildly searched your shocked ones as he tried to move forward. He was out of breath, soaked, distressed and...wounded?

"Minho, you-" Before you could say much more, Minho's eyes shut as he collapsed into your arms.

That was when you properly noticed the blood seeping through his shirt, staining the fabric a deep red. What the fuck-

Minho blinked up at your aghast face, wincing and swallowing as he clutched onto your shirt tightly. "Y-Y/n...please…” He begged, trying to suck in a breath, desperately failing.

“Help.”

Dark. It was too dark, the night covered in pitch black silk, making it almost impossible to see. The moonlight was scarce, and the twisting branches of the trees making their way into the cold sky only made it worse.

He’d always taken pride in himself for how courageous he was. However, all that could be felt at the moment was intense, bone-rotting fear.

The blood dripping down his skin was a harsh reminder of how injured he was. The pain was horrible, unforgiving. Every step felt like knives digging into his feet.

And yet, he ran. Towards the one thing that felt right.

To say you were shocked would be a devastating understatement. You stared at the man in your arms, vulnerable and injured. He coughed uncontrollably, looking up at you and staring into your eyes. The desperation within was evident.

“Please-“

Your heart was pounding. To feel his skin under your fingertips again..it almost burned. You tried to form words out of the tangle of thoughts in your head, but no sound left your mouth. All you could feel was the rhythmic thump of your heart, and the panic coursing through your veins.

“W-what happened?” You finally brought yourself to ask, as he held himself close to you, his drenched body soaking your shirt as well. You couldn’t help how worried and distraught your voice sounded, the sight of him injured tearing what was left of your heart into pieces.

“I was attacked, Y/n.” Minho swallowed painfully, blinking. “I could barely see what it was.” He shook his head, inhaling deeply as he struggled to speak. “Dark. Small. Terrible...”

“A wolf..?”

“No. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. There were two, I think. One took out a nice chunk of me.” He winced, letting out a painful grunt as he shifted a little.

You helped him down to rest against one of the hay bales. Minho groaned as he clutched his stomach, looking up at you and sighing at your expression. It felt as if there was an ocean ravaging the walls of his heart at the sight of your wet cheeks and red eyes.

“I’m going to show you now. There’s a lot of blood... You won’t faint or anything, right?”

“I’ve never fainted at the sight of blood.” You said, sighing, your voice still shaky with concern. “It’s like you barely ever knew me…”

The mention of your shared past together makes Minho shift a little. “Y/n, we need to talk...or rather, I need to. I need t-to- fuck- tell you what’s going on..” He winced at the pain, deciding that the wound was probably of foremost importance. Slowly, he started to roll up his shirt. You swallowed slightly as his abs came into view. Those definitely weren’t there before.

But then, your eyes widened for a different reason as you saw the gash in his stomach. Gasping, you bent down in front of him to inspect it closer, your eyes growing watery at the bloody, gruesome sight. “Oh m-my god, Minho-“

“Told you it was bad.”

“We need a first aid kit! There’s one around here somewhere…”

You stood up urgently, going over to the corner and finding the large box that was usually saved for the dragon-related injuries. All thoughts left your brain except the desperate need to help him, to save him.

You grabbed it, getting back to Minho’s side, you started arranging the items you would need next to you. “This might sting a bit.” You warned, eyes soft as he let out a grunt of pain.

You washed the wound, using water from your pouch. After applying the healing ointment, you wrapped the bandages around him carefully. Thankfully, it wasn’t quite as bad as it had looked.

Minho watched you intently as you treated him, occasionally hissing at the sting. However, his eyes were mostly focused on you as you dressed his wound, swallowing quietly.

Pretty. He’d always known you were pretty. However in moments like these, when you seemed to be lost in your work, you looked so breathtakingly beautiful that it almost hurt.

“Almost done…” A few minutes later, you sat up, frowning as you realized something. “Wait. You..you won’t be able to train properly tomorrow if you’re hurt like this.” You cursed, before inhaling deeply as an idea swam into your brain. You looked back down at his soft eyes, noticing his stare on you but choosing to pretend otherwise. Every time his eyes looked into yours, a ton of butterflies would threaten to start a tornado within the walls of your heart.

“I’m going to accelerate the healing process, it should work.” You whispered softly after a while, humming. “I hope.”

Minho looked up at you, “Hm? How...Are you sure?” You could detect the shiver in his voice, his fear of not being able to participate in the championships. He couldn’t afford for that to happen..his father would kill him.

You nodded, standing up urgently. “I’m sure.” Your eyes travelled up, observing each dragon before your gaze stopped at one.

Walking over to the green dragon sleeping in the corner of the stable beside two other ones, you studied its unique form. Its body was a striking emerald green, her spikes pink and covered in vines, along with the occasional tulip blooms scattered across her body. She was absolutely stunning.

If Felix’s description was anything to go by, this was Flore.

It was the cute little freckles scattered across its snout that reminded you of its owner. She was just as pretty as him, too.

You wasted no time unlocking the door and climbing into the stall, your hand reaching out to stroke her neck gently, hoping it would be enough to wake her. You only needed a few seconds of her time- after all, she needed as much rest as she could get for tomorrow.

One large eye opened slowly, watching you as you pet her. You smiled at the dragon as she yawned, evidently enjoying your touch as she leaned closer to you.

Minho watched as you whispered softly to the huge green dragon, pointing over to him. He felt his chest tighten as the dragon nodded its big head in response to whatever question you’d just asked, offering you a soft, affectionate lick on your forehead.

He tore his eyes away for a moment as they closed, the pain was far too excruciating. And yet, it couldn’t even come close to the agony within his head, in his chest, in his very bones. All of the events of the past years swirled around in his skull, far too stubborn to fade. Why was it so hard to let go?

A minute later, he felt a soft hand stroking his forehead. His eyes opened slowly, his gaze falling on the shimmering green dragon scale in your hand. “Flore wanted to help.” You said softly, tilting your chin towards the already asleep dragon before tucking the scale behind a layer of bandages carefully, making sure it was secure. He never stopped gazing at you. You were biting your lip softly, your eyes filled with worry and confusion. His eyes landed on your lips.

He missed seeing you like this. You always did have that habit of sticking out your cute little tongue whenever you were concentrating on something.

“Last year, I read that a Terra dragon scale is one of the primary ingredients in a healing potion.” A healing potion was liquid and meant to be ingested. However, you hoped the same effect would happen here, even though it was an unconventional method. “I’m hoping it will work like this, it should..”

He couldn’t focus on the words leaving your mouth, his eyes still lost in the process of watching you.

You hummed once you were done. “There.” Your voice was soft, a smile on your face. “Tomorrow morning, everything will be okay.”

“Thank you. I already feel healthier than before, somehow.” He said quietly, voice barely above a whisper. You glanced up when you felt his eyes on you, your cheeks turning pink as you focused on his bandages once more. Minho tilted his head, a small sigh leaving his lips as he tore his eyes away from you, looking up at the sleeping dragon behind you.

Aeracus. Minho’s heart clenched at the sight. He’d really missed him...despite it all, he’d still been his owner. Besides, he reminded Minho of a simpler time..back when the two of you hadn’t been plagued with suffering and guilt.

Meanwhile, the silence was getting to you. You were still angry at him, but the fact remained that he was injured. You had to treat him with care, but all you could think about was the pain you’d gone through for the past days.

Betrayal. It was raw, still red hot. It hurt more than a knife to the chest, a feeling that felt like it wasn’t going to go away any time soon.

“I can’t believe her.” You mumbled finally, under your breath, the memory of the campfire emerging to the forefront of your brain. You were hoping Minho wouldn’t hear you over the loud snoring of the dragons...but he did. “All the things she said..”

Minho’s eyes widened a little. Oh god, the pain had almost made him forget about the disastrous events of the campfire. He stuttered, scratching the back of his neck. “I…don’t know how she..” He sighed, trailing off as his eyes looked away from yours. “Uh. Where she heard..” He wanted to explain, but the words were stuck on his tongue. Gritting his teeth, he closed his mouth and looked away.

Raising your eyebrow at his lack of response, you sighed and looked away. “Thought so.” You didn’t look at him. You just couldn’t. Soon enough, angry tears were pricking your eyes once again.

Your decision to stay silent was slowly melting away as the anger swirling in your heart grew. Before you knew it, the words ripped themselves from your throat. “You know what really happened that night. Were you really angry at me that I couldn’t convince my father of your innocence? That you’d defame me across every village, turn everyone against me?” Your voice was quiet but filled with hurt.

“It’s not.. like that. I’ve never been angry at you, Y/n, I’m well aware that some things are far beyond our control.” He cut across firmly. “I didn’t lie to her, it just happened to come out the way it did. She assumed a lot of things herself. The rumors..that’s all they are. Rumors.”

Right. She just assumed. Your heart felt like it was burning, like every last piece of hope within was crumbling away into nothing. That fateful night..how could Minho let her believe that skewed version? After everything they’d been through..

Wolfberries are poisonous. Everyone knows this. And yet, you’d read about how delicious they were, quite possibly one of the most delectable fruits in the land. Deadly sweet. They looked quite beautiful too..especially the one nestled in your hand. Small, purple and tear-drop shaped...the insides were supposedly periwinkle blue. You’d never seen one in the flesh before, until now.

“Y/n!”

You looked up when you heard Minho call out for you, gesturing you to come towards him faster. You nodded, eyes taking one last look at the wolfberry bush before you dropped the one you were holding, squishing it under your boot. Toxic, yet deceivingly beautiful...

“Babe?” Minho called out again, making you snap back to attention as you continued to follow him up the hill. It was a sunny day, your hand shielding your eyes as you squinted in his direction. “Minho..I’m not sure we should have come out this far.” You said softly after a while, looking around apprehensively. You walked faster to catch up with him, a tiny amount of fear filling your chest. The two of you truly did love to explore, but never before had you ventured out this far from the village.

Out here, even if you screamed, no one would hear. What if you happened to come across bandits, or wild dogs, or maybe even a rogue dragon? The two of you would truly be done for, if that was the case.

“Love, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here, aren’t I?” He said softly, pausing and turning around to reach you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close. “You know I will always protect you, baby star.”

You sighed softly against his warm chest, a reluctant nod following. Besides, his presence was all the courage you needed. Minho would do anything to protect you. Sometimes, you wished you could protect him too.

“Besides, I still haven’t shown you my surprise yet. Aren’t you curious?” He asked, emphasizing the last word with a smile as he knew just how inquisitive you were.

“I am..” You looked up into his eyes, leaning up to press a soft peck on his lips. He smiled, his hand stroking your cheek as he left a chaste kiss of his own on your mouth, teeth nipping at the soft flesh of your lower lip before pulling away.

Fingers intertwining with yours, Minho began to walk again, eyes trained straight ahead, leading you further and further away from the village. Somehow, you couldn’t get rid of that foreboding, uneasy feeling.

Soon, your eyes widened as you saw the entrance to a large set of stony caves come into view, jutting out from the side of the mountain. You frowned, looking up at Minho as he led you straight towards it, the grass crunching below his feet. The stone walls were glistening, a peculiar shade of teal that enticed you to go near it.

The closer you got however, the more familiar it looked. That was weird though, wasn’t it? You’ve never been here. And yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d seen this place before.

Minho looked back at you, noticing the fear in your eyes and humming as he pulled you close. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, star. It’s just a cave. Besides, we have Aeracus and Caeli to protect us, don’t we?”

“Hm? I thought they’re back at the stables for their grooming session-“

He simply smiled, looking up at the sky. You followed his gaze, eyes widening as you saw the two dragons fly closer, landing on the ground beside you. “I thought you said it would just be the two of us?” You giggled, stroking your windswept hair as you smiled at Aeracus.

“Mhm, but I thought it would be nice to have them guard the place, for some extra protection. I moved their appointments to tomorrow. Besides, we don’t want anyone interrupting us, now do we?” He raised an eyebrow, fingers squeezing your hand and making you giggle, cheeks flushing. “It’s our anniversary after all. I need to make sure you leave this cave tonight a.. satisfied woman.”

“Nnn..you demon.” You smiled widely, pecking his cheek repeatedly, making him laugh as he let you attack him with eager kisses all over his face.

It had seemed like a good idea, at the moment. How could you have known any better?

There was a long silence as Minho quietly took you in, heart beating as he tried to form words. The act was proving to be increasingly difficult, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your sad gaze trained on the floor.

“Why?” You asked finally, voice barely a whisper. Why wasn’t I...enough.”

You sighed as you stared at the bandages, barely able to conceal the deep pain you were feeling. The words felt like they were stuck in your throat. Your voice was too soft, too quiet, almost as if you didn’t want him to hear.

“How...could you fall in love with someone else. Did your promises mean nothing?” You were almost musing to yourself at this point, slow tears running down your cheeks. You realized you were being too vulnerable. You didn’t want him to see you like this. The pain was intense and all consuming, it had wrecked you thoroughly. You knew there was no point in pretending you didn’t feel weak and pathetic. Still..

“But..never mind. I don’t care anymore.” You lied, biting your lip. “I just..hope you know how much it hurt. To see you in someone else’s arms, holding her and kissing her. Minho, I felt so... worthless.” You choked on the last word, feeling like you were falling apart before his eyes.

Several seconds of silence passed, your fingers wringing as the lump in your throat made its presence known. There were no more thoughts in your head. The soft words slipped off your tongue, like they’d been perched on the tip all this while.

“If..if the universe lets you feel even a little bit of the pain I felt, I’ll be the happiest woman in the world.” You mumbled after a while, trying to cover up your heartache with hostility.

The truth was, you did care. Maybe a little too much. In fact, he was the only thing you cared about in this whole damn world. Well, him and Aeracus. None of the words you uttered had any edge to them. They sounded as weak as ever, meaningless. And of course, you’d never wish any pain on this unbelievably beautiful man in front of you, you never wanted to see him hurt.

He swallowed, silent the whole time as he watched you. Each word felt like knives, sharp and cruel as they sliced into his heart. This was hard. He felt guilty enough about everything the two of you had been thrust into, about the part he’d played in all of it. All the misunderstandings and unspoken words between you turned the air thick, dense, filled with tension of all kinds- it was unbearable. He couldn’t stand this. There had been a time where keeping secrets from you just wasn’t an option. How things change.

Then again..

He did have you alone right now. He was dangerously close to coming clean. The heartache was starting to become too intense for him, and he wasn’t quite sure how much longer he could go through with it. Minho couldn’t look into your pain-filled eyes. The way your voice broke when you spoke, your shaky whispers and hurt gaze..it was all intolerable.

You could do it, Minho. She’s right in front of you. What other chance would prove to be more perfect?

He knew he’d have to think this through, but with your beautiful face existing right in front of his, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his mouth shut. Especially with those tantalizing lips so close, and yet just out of reach.

When he finally spoke, you raised your chin to look at him, blinking softly. His voice was quiet, his fingers tapping on his thigh.

“I’m sorry. I promise you, I never lied about anything that happened that night. A rumor happened to get out of hand, that’s all. Gossip spreads across the villages like wildfire.” He said quietly, averting his gaze from yours. “I know you deserve better..” He whispered to himself.

You didn’t say anything. Even if you believed him, it didn’t give you a reason to be any less angry. He still abandoned you, fell out of love with you even after all his promises. Betrayed you. This was definitely the part that hurt the most.

You still remember how shaken you’d felt back when he’d returned. You’d expected a warm gaze of love, one that you’d hoped would relieve the ache that had built up each second he’d been gone. Instead, you’d received cold eyes and a guarded heart, one that had once been yours.

You sighed, feeling your heart pound. There was silence for a few minutes as you closed your eyes. All the sadness and pain inside you was starting to swirl around, turning into something a lot more rotten. Anger. Regret. Grief. All the pent up emotions were threatening to spill helplessly, and you could do nothing about it.

“So then, how is she? Better than me?” Your words were bitter, your throat aching as you could barely pick what words decided to make their way out of your throat.

He sighed, sitting up and breaking out of his thoughts on how he could tell you the truth. “Look, Y/n-“

“Answer me.” You said, staring at him. He swallowed at the malicious glint in your eyes- there was still pain, though. This time, overpowered with anger and torment. “‘Cause she must have been pretty fucking special for you to forget about me so easily. As if I never existed.”

“It’s not what you think.” He interjected, seeming too wrecked and conflicted as he clenched his fists.

“What do you mean? You love her and she loves you, isn’t that right? It’s almost like a fairytale.” You hum. “I saw how happy you looked together. It’s nice to hear you’ve found the one.” You mumbled.

He widened his eyes a little at your words.

Fuck that. You’ll always be the one for him. Deep down, he knows you know that too.

“I..mhm.” Minho coughed, still unable to make a choice. How was he supposed to know which decision was right?

“Mhm.” You hummed, not interested in hearing any more as his words only drove the stake deeper into your chest. Your heart was an ocean of sadness and pain, and it was difficult getting the waves under control enough for your face to be still. The urge to disappear was only growing. You wanted to escape, but you didn’t know where to. The only place you’d ever felt safe was in his arms.

The turmoil in your expression was so evident that Minho couldn’t help but swallow, chewing on his lips as he debated himself in his head.

Fuck it. The words were on the tip on his tongue. He’d always been a man of control, but some truths were just too hard to hide.

His eyes fell on your lips. You were biting them, nervous, plump flesh caught between your teeth.

In that moment, Minho knew. The right decision was whichever one would lead to him closer to those lips of yours.

“You must be looking forward to the weddi-“

He couldn’t. He just couldn’t let you feel like this anymore. He was tired of pretending.

“Y/n, stop!” He shouted, interrupting you and making your eyes widen a little.

“It isn’t what it seems like, it was just a fucking arranged marriage okay?! Fuck.” He glared, inhaling deeply after the words that blurted out of his mouth. “I don’t love her. I never did, never, please..I can’t take this anymore-” He scrunched his eyes shut, voice shaky as he realized the gravitas of what he’d just done.

You paused for a second, in deep confusion as you stared at him, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving up and down. “What..? What do you mean?”

He looked up, biting his lip and grunting. “An alliance, that I was forced into. She’s in love, believe me. But I most definitely am not.” His voice was almost dark as he stared at the wall, his eyes traveling up to stare at his black dragon, swallowing before quickly looking back at you.

You tried to understand, your chest still tight as you looked up, eyes wide and vulnerable.“B-but why? I don’t..understand..you love her-“

“Are you really that clueless?” He hissed, looking at you, his face right in front of you. When had he moved closer?

Silence followed as the words sunk into your brain. At the moment, you couldn’t quite comprehend anything, jumbled words floating about in your brain as you tried to make sense of it all. An arranged marriage? But the chiefs had said...

“You are so..oblivious.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he sucked in a breath, staring at your dumbfounded features. “It shocks me..how you didn’t notice. I always thought you were clever, too. I don’t. I don’t love her.”

You raised your eyebrows, using the back of your hand to rub your incessant tears. “What are you talking about, Min-“

“I’m talking about this. This.”

And in a second, a second that seemed to encompass all of eternity, Minho leaned forward, his lips crashing against yours.

The shock that coursed through your veins was immediate, powerful.

You would never have expected it in a million years- definitely not after the events of the past few days. Definitely not after having your heart broken into pieces, after having to see his lips on another girl’s and a ring on his finger.

Your breathing grew impossibly quicker, your heart pounding against your chest as he pulled you closer to him, kissing you roughly. Was this some sort of a dream? No, his lips felt too warm and soft and real to be one.

Everything about the kiss was insistent. It felt like he was trying to prove something to you. You could feel it, the desperation and pent up passion. Your body felt like it was weakening as each second passed. The tiny gasp you let out into his mouth made his heart jump in his chest. His mouth softly moved against yours, trapping your lips between his, massaging your lips with his own gently. Soft and wet, slow and passionate.

Minho pulled away for a little, his eyes searching yours as he groaned. He opened his mouth slightly, looking like he wanted to say something. He hesitated a little before he whispered under his breath. “You stole my heart a long time ago, Y/n. It feels like I don’t have one to give away to someone anymore, even if I wanted to.”

Your eyes filled with more tears at his soft words, goosebumps forming all over your skin. And in that moment, you almost felt like you were home again.

His hand on your jaw moved downwards, his thumb swiping across your bottom lip and tugging it downwards ever so gently before leaning in with his eyes closed, his lips claiming yours once more.

Everything in you was screaming at you, telling you not to kiss him back. But how could you not? You’d been waiting for his return, for years. He’s all you’ve ever known, ever since you were a little baby. You’d felt so hopelessly lost without him.

Feeling his lips against yours just felt...right. You’d missed this sensation so much, you almost felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest, leaving behind a burning hole in your ribcage.

So, you moved your lips against his, kissing him back with the desperation that had been trapped inside your chest all this while. The warmth, fierce passion pulsing between the two of you, was rushing straight to your head, gripping your body in its merciless clutches.

He pulled away finally, despite not wanting to. The two of you sucked in breaths as you stared at each other, swallowing and gasping.

“Fuck. You taste the same.” He growled, pulling you close to him once more, lifting you slightly and making you straddle his lap. The sudden position caught you off guard, your whole face turning red as you steadied yourself, placing your hands on his shoulders. “M-minho-“

“Mine.” He hissed, nipping at your neck and gently sucking on the sensitive skin. “You’re mine. All mine. Tell that Terra bastard to fuck off.” He muttered, gripping you so tightly your skin was likely to bruise.

“Why..“ You sniffed, your voice weak. “You’re playing with my emotions. How could you do this to me? How could you break my heart, ruin me, and then do this, say that. It hur-“

“I’m not playing with you.” He said, his eyes slightly wet as he cupped your cheeks with both hands, sitting up. “Y/n…do you know how long I’ve waited for this moment? I love you. I never stopped loving you, not for a second. It doesn’t matter if we spend a million years apart, I know I’d always feel the same way about you.”

You shook your head, the tears flowing steadily past your eyes as the pain, the heartache you’d felt for the past few days failed to fade away.

“Do you know…do you know how much it hurt? How much it ached? I waited for you all these years, only to see you come back with somebody else hanging off your arm. An elegant, beautiful heiress.” You sniffed, pulling away from him slightly. “She was all over you. Scratch that, you were all over each other. You defiled my mother’s room-“

“Your mom’s room? What?” Minho’s eyes widened, confusion taking over his features.

“Yeah…you didn’t know?”

“Of course I didn’t! I would never- fuck.” Minho shook his head. “Your dad offered us the room. That’s all I knew. I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize it.” He winced at the thought of that night. Every time he touched Jisu, all he could think about was your face at the door. How he wished he could have pushed the woman away and ran out into the hallway to find you, pull you close and hold you. You, you, you. And now that he’d passed the point of no return, he found himself burning up with desire for you, that he’d been harboring all these years.

You didn’t say anything, staring at the floor. The tears continued to run down your cheeks as you shook a little. “I felt so hopeless. Even now, I’m scared, Minho. Scared that you’ll fade away, turn into pieces, that I’ll wake up in my bed and this will all have been a dream. That I’d have to head out and see the one who meant the world to me hold another woman. He was all I had. I survived all these years, because there was hope that you were out there somewhere, waiting for me too. But then, I saw you barely glance at me, treat me as if I was nothing.” You sniffed. It was hard to speak.

“When I looked into your eyes, I saw nothing there. It was scary, Minho. I felt lost. It felt like my lover had died, and there was someone else taking his place. Someone who I knew nothing about, a stranger.”

There was pain in his eyes as he listened to you talk.

“I’m sorry. I know...I know I hurt you. It hurt even more to pretend like I didn’t love you anymore.” He sighed, flashes of bad memories echoing in his brain. “When...you go through what I did, you learn to act. To pretend, to tuck away feelings and emotions. It was hard, terribly hard. It took every ounce of strength in me to not scoop you into my arms as soon as I saw you, Y/n.”

You would be lying if you hadn’t seen chinks in Minho’s armor. However you had told yourself the longing you’d caught in his eyes was just your own helpless heart fabricating hope. Your imagination had always been far too wild.

“I know these are just words I’m saying right now, but I want you to know that I mean it. More than anything. I missed you. You were all I thought about, and all I wanted to do was feel you again. My father..you know what he is like. Once he wants something, he just won’t stop..” Minho trailed off, frowning to himself before snapping back to attention. “And Jisu? She is nothing to me. Nothing more than someone who I am forced to love. She could never make me feel the way you do.”

You saw the sincerity in his eyes, and it tugged at your heart. Your eyes stung, the image of that woman was something you wished you could erase completely.

“You’ll be married to her soon..you’re still an engaged man. And even if our hearts belong to each other, the ring on your finger is not mine.” You whispered, staring down at his lap.

“Once the championships are over, we’ll probably never even see each other again.” Your voice was quiet, your eyes still avoiding his. You didn’t know if you could handle that, or even a second without him now that you’d felt his lips on yours again, his skin against your skin. The thought was excruciating. You’d lost him once. If it happened again, it would be sure to break you.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.” Minho breathed in deeply, kissing your forehead as he tucked strands of your hair behind your ear. “We will have our happily ever after, I promise you.”

“Are you sure? What makes you certain?” You could see the sadness in his smile, even if he tried to hide it. Maybe he knew how hopeless it was, too. “It just seems like everyone’s trying to keep us apart. Our own fathers don’t want us together anymore. I don’t think they’d even approve of our friendship, after everything that happened.”

Minho scoffed as his lips slid lower, settling on your collarbone. “Not mine. He would have been alright with us, if your father hadn’t kicked me out for something I’d never done.” His tongue slid across your skin. “My love. You are everything I’ve ever been sure about. You’re mine..always.”

You stayed silent, unable to reply as he sucked harsher on you. Letting out a small whine, you squirmed as he suddenly pushed his hips up a little, causing a sensation that threatened to have you falling apart in his arms already.

It wasn’t long before you felt his solid bulge brush up against your clothed entrance, a gasp leaving your lips at the feeling. The thickness barely concealed in his pants continued to brush against your helpless core as his hips moved again.

“I missed you so much, pretty. I miss staring at the stars with you, I miss watching the fishes in the lake, I miss sneaking out with our dragons, I miss all the late night kisses and forbidden touches.” He whispered, hands sliding up to hold your waist. “I spent every waking moment thinking about you, Y/n. Even my dreams were filled with you.”

“S-so did I…” You said softly, still a little overwhelmed as he slid his hands up your shirt. Your heart felt like it was an ocean, waves crashing between your ribs.

“I knew we’d see each other again soon, though. You and I, we’re meant to be. That day, when I left the village..I told myself I’d come back for you. I wasn’t going to give up that easily.” He hummed as he pressed soft pecks on your heated skin. “Of course, I hadn’t expected Jisu. She wasn’t a part of the plan.” He sighed, momentarily closing his eyes.

The mention of that woman sent another wave of pain through you as you let out a small sniff, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. You trusted him. And yet, there was still some kind of hopelessness in the air that was hard to ignore. Minho never broke his promises..at least from what you remember. Some things were out of his control though. Maybe this was one of them. Unrequited love was somehow less painful than the idea of a love that burned so strong, and yet the whole world seemed to be against it.

He noticed your expression, sighing. “I’m sorry for mentioning her. I’ll make sure things work out. You just have to trust me. Can you do that?”

“You know I always have.” You whispered, soft eyes running over his face. There was just so much love brimming in your poor broken heart. And the familiar look in his eyes, the affectionate gaze...it was healing the pieces in your chest, bit by bit. Your hands cupped his cheeks and pressing a featherlight kiss of your own on his nose, sniffing.

You noticed the way his cheeks subtly reddened as you did so, the butterflies inside you flapping their wings harder. “Good girl. My good kitten..”

He moved you off his lap, laying you down before climbing over you, taking in your wide innocent eyes. You looked like a little scared bunny, and he delighted in the shiver of your sensitive skin as he ghosted his fingers over you. You were his prey, and he was just about ready to devour you.

“That...Felix’s hands...all over you. It angered me. Doesn’t he know you’re mine?” He asked, the hunger and desire in his eyes making your lips emit a meek whimper.

“Am I?”

“Of course you are. You said I hurt you, but don’t you know how it felt to see you walk away with him, leading him to our special place? I know that’s where you took him.”

Your expression turned indignant as you whined. “Minho, you can’t blame me for that! There I was, thinking you were engaged and in love with someone else. What was I supposed to do? Felix...he was nice. He cared.”

He hummed. “Look..baby, I’m sorry. I know how much pain I’ve caused you, and I’m prepared to spend my whole life making it up to you, princess.” He stared at your lips, using his thumb to stroke them, admiring the softness. It was something he loved about you...everything about you was soft. Soft, loving eyes. Soft lips, soft skin, and most of all, a soft fragile heart. He wanted to keep you safe and protect you, hold you close to him and make you his every possible moment. He wanted to love you deeply. It was what you’d done all these years. He felt terrible, knowing how much he’d hurt you, making you think your love and loyalty didn’t mean anything to him anymore. When in fact, everything about you meant the world to him.

Soon he was leaning down again, making out with you passionately. You moved your lips to his rhythm, the soft slide of his tongue and warm breath threatening to melt all your thoughts away.

You couldn’t resist him. Kissing him deeper, letting out a soft whine against his mouth as his lips pulled on your bottom one, his tongue brushing against yours softly.

His hands wandered all over your body, settling on your waist as he let out soft groans into your lips.

“I want you..” You barely knew the words leaving your mouth. It was like your heart and all its desires had taken your brain hostage- you no longer knew anything but the way Minho felt against you. It was all you needed, all you craved.

He wrapped his arms around you tighter, preventing you from squirming much further.

“Oh you do, now do you?” He chuckled, squeezing the sides of your waist just a little. “How do you want me, princess?”

“I just- I just want..” You trailed off, your cheeks dusted pink as you started to feel too shy.

He chuckled at your vague answer. “Alright, where do you want me?” His fingers ghosted over your waist, reaching up to cup your breasts, your nipples caught between his fingers. “Here?” He gently rolled your soft buds between his calloused digits, sending tingles through your body. You whimpered, your lips falling open softly as your eyes closed.

He leaned in to kiss your neck as his hand traveled downwards, circling your navel gently before reaching the top of your undergarments. His movements were slow and decisive as he slid his hand over your panties to rub your drenched folds gently, a soft groan leaving him as his fingers made contact with your sensitive heat. “Or here, maybe.” His fingers were slow as they slid up and down. He groaned, he could already feel how wet you’d gotten even through the flimsy, soaked fabric.

“Now, kitten, tell me.” His voice was firm.

You tried to gather up the words, your brain too fuzzy to work. “Everywhere..” you finally managed to say, your hips leaning into his touch, making him smirk.

“Can’t choose? Of course. My kitten is just as greedy as ever.” Slowly, he decided to pull the soaked fabric to the side, an audible groan leaving his bitten lips as he laid eyes on your pretty pussy after all these years.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled, using his slender fingers to push apart your folds, his eyes landing on your glistening pink core. They turned darker, traveling slowly back to your face to meet your gaze. Lowering himself, you felt your cheeks turn pink as you closed your eyes, shivering and already a mess.

When you finally felt his tongue swipe across your folds, your eyes opened as a helpless whimper left your lips, his ears relishing that beautiful sound.

“More. I want to hear you moan.” Those words were accompanied with a soft kiss on your sensitive nub, his lips closing around it.

You couldn’t help but moan loudly as he sucked on your clit, pulling away to let the tip of his finger play with your bundle of nerves. He loved just how sensitive you were, how you reacted to his touches. It was nothing short of addictive.

“How does it feel, princess?” He asked softly, a teasing lilt to his tone as his thumb stroked your folds, slipping into your entrance. “I remember how it felt, the first time I touched you like this. To be the one who gets to ruin you, your innocent little face scrunched up in pleasure for the first time..pleasure that I’m giving you. Fuck.” Minho groaned, the bulge in his pants starting to feel suffocated as he watched your folds take him in. His other hand crept down to free his length, holding it in his hand as he stroked his dick in time with his fingers’ shallow thrusts, his eyes trained on your leaking, soft pussy. Each little thrust forced a small mewl out of your mouth, growing louder as his fingers reached deeper into your warmth.

Minho didn’t know how much longer he could hold himself back. He wanted to be deep inside you, filling you up and claiming you over and over again. His jaw clenched as you opened your eyes hazily, your gaze traveling to his cock. He noticed your heavy inhale, your cheeks turning redder at the sight.

“Mm, princess?” He asked, the corners of his lips tilting upwards. “Missed this?” He glanced down at his own length momentarily. “You were always such a little slut for my cock.”

You licked your lip softly, unable to tear your eyes away from the heavenly sight of him stroking himself. It only deepened the pleasure as you started to feel your tummy tighten up, your brain growing hazier as you felt the pleasure build up…

..until it was gone, fading away as Minho pulled his fingers out, your core throbbing in need. You let out a needy whine, looking up at him with teary eyes. You were just about to ask him why he stopped when his fingers gripped your hips, spreading your legs and fitting himself in between your thighs as he leaned down to capture your lips again.

“I want to make sure you can’t walk, ruin you completely. Claim you as mine.”

You gasped as he slicked himself through your folds, a shocked mewl escaping you as he slipped his head in.

Minho exhaled. “I want you to come apart on my cock. I want to..fuck- feel you.” As the first inch slid in, you could barely breathe. Deeper, his eyes flitted between your needy features and the place where the two of you were connected, his length disappearing into your core.

“M-minho…” You let out a soft whimper, his length stretching out your walls slowly as he pushed himself deep into you. It had been too long since you’d felt him against you like this. His lips were littering soft kisses along the expanse of your chest as he hummed softly, his hips barely moving as he waited for you to adjust.

It felt different, he felt different. And yet, all too familiar. He still smelled the same, you realized. Clean, like the ocean.

Minho pulled away from your neck to look into your eyes, his gaze piercing into your soul as he pressed a soft kiss on your nose. A single deep thrust followed, making you gasp. His eyes darkened at the sound, his grip on your hips tightening just a little.

Slowly, he began moving his hips. Minho watched your expressions carefully, your soft lips parted and eyes glazed over as his thrusts grew deeper and rougher. The little, delicate whimpers falling off your tongue made him groan louder, you looked so small and vulnerable beneath him. He felt himself starting to lose control, breathing heavier as his big hands grabbed your ass, sitting back on his haunches and pulling you to his chest, so you were on his lap.

“Your moans are...so pretty, kitten.” He whispered, his eyes trained on your breasts as one hand travelled up your waist, making you shiver as you looked down at him. He looked so hungry. It almost scared you, how much this man seemed to be consumed by passion. All because of you.

He’d abandoned any thoughts of easing you into it as a needy whine left your lips, realizing he’d brushed against your sweet spot. Minho chuckled as his gripped your rear cheeks, pulling on them slightly as he forced you to bounce up and down on him, sliding your body down his shaft as if you were a doll.

“Pretty, pretty. My small little kitten.” He hissed as he felt your core tightly wrapped around him.

You couldn’t do anything but whine helplessly, his hands moving you as he grunted, capturing your lips with his own. He bit on your bottom lip, tugging slightly. He was overwhelmed by the feeling of your walls around him, so perfect, so tight and warm.

“It feels so good.” You managed to say, hands on his shoulders as you felt him impossibly deep inside you. He stared into your eyes as you spoke, his lips opening to capture yours in a desperate kiss. Minho started to buck his hips, pounding into your core, repeatedly against the spot he knew would make you scream the most. Your eyes widened as he did so, your mouth opening but no sound coming out as Minho clamped his hand over your lips. He couldn’t have the dragons waking up, or anyone happening to pass by hear.

Your eyes filled with tears of pleasure as the sensations inside you swirled into a tornado, building up deep within. It was more intense than anything you’d ever felt. His thick length, covered in your essence, his insistent thrusts and dark lust-filled eyes all proving to be too much for you as the high kept climbing. Minho tilted his head, watching your hazy eyes and realizing you were too close to your high.

He slammed you down on him, your hips flush against each other as he moved you in a circle, grinding you against him as the two of you let out simultaneous groans. His fingers crept down to rub your clit, flicking it softly and only contributing to your undoing.

It all happened too fast. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as the white hot pleasure exploded, sparks taking over every inch of your body. Minho watched the beautiful sight, his breath shaky as he continued to fuck into you through your high. Your desperate mewls made him kiss your lips deeply, your drenched heat clenching around him was too heavenly.

A few more thrusts was all it took for him to fill you up, his hips still moving so he could push his warm seed deeper into you. It felt so good, to have him make you whole, every inch of you his.

“I’ve always dreamed of doing this to you..” He whispered as he slowly thrusted into you, making sure his cum was pushed deeper. “I’ve always imagined what it would be like to see you, with my baby inside your pretty belly. You’d look so..beautiful.”

His words were too quiet and your mind was too fuzzy to comprehend what he was saying. A soft moan disappeared into the air. You’d never felt more full than you had at this moment. His arms, strong around you, holding you like he was never going to let go. The two of you connected, as one.

He smelled the same. His skin felt as warm and soft as ever, his eyes still held the same twinkle.

The way he held you was different, though. Confident, his grip on your hips. His smirk, his strong eyebrows, his broad chest and dark gaze. The way he had claimed you as his, his thrusts deep and his kisses leaving you breathless. Even now, as his hands ran down your back and his length brushed deeper into your core, it was a far cry from the awkward teenage touches and fumbling in the dark.

It was a different Minho, and yet you could still see the whole universe in his eyes. The old softness in his gaze and warmth that you’d missed more than anything.

“I love you.” You whispered, blinking softly. Your eyelashes felt heavy, and your heart was still pounding in your chest. Butterflies were ravaging your insides as you looked at him, your cheeks pink, waiting for him to say something.

Staying quiet, he leaned in slowly. He kissed your lips softly, softer than ever before. Repeated soft pecks, each one placed on your mouth slower than the last.

Moving closer, he laid you down again slowly. His eyes were watching the way your folds hugged his cock tightly even as he pulled out, his tip finally leaving your soft core, soaked and open. “Your pretty pussy looks like it misses my cock.” He whispered, his tone teasing. Your cheeks turned pink, whining as you covered your eyes in embarrassment at his lust-filled words.

Minho wrapped his fingers around his length, stroking himself as he pressed the head of his cock against your throbbing core, pulling away and pushing slightly in again. “See? Look at the way you suck me in, so tight and needy. Are you that desperate for me?”

You peeked out from behind your fingers, cheeks still red as you nodded. Minho smiled softly at the adorable sight, pulling away. “Can you get on your hands and knees, princess? Ass up in the air for me, now.” He whispered.

You obeyed, turning around. Minho held your hips once more, making you raise your ass higher as his hungry eyes took in your soft pussy lips. His fingers pushed your lips apart, observing the white liquid leaking down your heat.

“I can’t believe how beautiful you are.” He whispered, thumb rubbing your core softly, pushing it back into your hole. “We can’t have you losing any of this, now. Keep it all in like a good girl.” You let out a soft moan in response.

He kissed your back before holding your waist and pulling you into an embrace, laying the both of you down onto the soft hay.

You rested your cheek on his chest, rubbing it against him softly. “I missed you.” You say softly, tears flowing down. “I really missed you.” You felt like those four words weren’t nearly enough to describe everything you’d gone through. With him gone, it felt like there had been an empty hole inside your chest. He was your person. Your home.

His voice was quiet as his hand idly stroked your hair, lips leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“What about..” you swallowed, trying to blink back the tears. “Her..”

“Please...don’t think about her.” Minho sighed, wincing at the thought of the woman waiting in his bed for him. “I would rather pretend she doesn’t exist when I’m with you.”

“But she does. She’s real and it..it hurts.”

Minho looked down at you, hands holding your cheeks as he leaned down to kiss you. “My little star.” He smiled fondly against your lips, tucking your hair behind your ear like he’d done countless times before. That nickname. It sent sparks of electricity through your chest. “She doesn’t matter. Like I said before..I spent so many years away from you, feeling empty and cold. Then, I saw you again. It felt like I’d found my heart, the one I’d lost all those years ago.” He whispered, his fingers slowly inching their way to your chest and pressing his palm over your heart. “It was here, all along. It never left.”

You felt an inexplicable warmth take over as you gazed into his eyes, slowly counting each star that lay within. He was beauty personified.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way, that things were less complicated. But I promise you, we’ll be okay. Do you trust me?”

You trusted him. But you weren’t sure you trusted anyone around him. Definitely not her. She was in love with him too, and you’d happened to see the red hot jealousy in her eyes on more than one occasion. It almost mirrored yours, but you were more careful to hide your possessive nature.

You forced yourself to get rid of those thoughts, Minho’s scent lulling you into a soft, comfortable sleep. “Big day tomorrow baby..go to sleep.” He said softly. You yawned a little, snuggling into Minho’s side and pressing a small kiss on his chest, hoping it would convey the wordless love that hung in the air between you. You didn’t need words, the two of you never did.

His hand was soft as he caressed your back, making you feel protected. Minho waited for you to fall asleep, watching your soft breaths slow down. He stroked your hair and pulled you closer, feeling safe for the first time in a long, long while as you finally succumbed to a deep slumber. He sighed softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love you more, Y/n.”

-Embers- (5)

— wc: 10k

Who could it possibly be?

You sat up slightly, confused. Rubbing your eyes, you stood up shakily. Was it Felix, finally come to get you? Or Jeongin, perhaps?

Who in their right mind would venture out to you when the downpour was this heavy? You took in an anxious breath, slowly lifting yourself up.

As the knocking continued, you stood up and walked over hastily, deciding to open the door before it could get any louder and cause the dragons to wake.

Your hand closed around the handle, your heart slamming against your ribcage in fear, reminiscent of the raindrops falling against the stable walls.

Finally, you pulled the door open.

Your eyes widened as you stared at the last person you’d expected to see.

There he was, in front of you. His heavy, dazed eyes wildly searched your shocked ones as he tried to move forward. He was out of breath, soaked, distressed and...wounded?

"Minho, you-" Before you could say much more, Minho's eyes shut as he collapsed into your arms.

That was when you properly noticed the blood seeping through his shirt, staining the fabric a deep red. What the fuck-

Minho blinked up at your aghast face, wincing and swallowing as he clutched onto your shirt tightly. "Y-Y/n...please…” He begged, trying to suck in a breath, desperately failing.

“Help.”

Dark. It was too dark, the night covered in pitch black silk, making it almost impossible to see. The moonlight was scarce, and the twisting branches of the trees making their way into the cold sky only made it worse.

He’d always taken pride in himself for how courageous he was. However, all that could be felt at the moment was intense, bone-rotting fear.

The blood dripping down his skin was a harsh reminder of how injured he was. The pain was horrible, unforgiving. Every step felt like knives digging into his feet.

And yet, he ran. Towards the one thing that felt right.

To say you were shocked would be a devastating understatement. You stared at the man in your arms, vulnerable and injured. He coughed uncontrollably, looking up at you and staring into your eyes. The desperation within was evident.

“Please-“

Your heart was pounding. To feel his skin under your fingertips again..it almost burned. You tried to form words out of the tangle of thoughts in your head, but no sound left your mouth. All you could feel was the rhythmic thump of your heart, and the panic coursing through your veins.

“W-what happened?” You finally brought yourself to ask, as he held himself close to you, his drenched body soaking your shirt as well. You couldn’t help how worried and distraught your voice sounded, the sight of him injured tearing what was left of your heart into pieces.

“I was attacked, Y/n.” Minho swallowed painfully, blinking. “I could barely see what it was.” He shook his head, inhaling deeply as he struggled to speak. “Dark. Small. Terrible...”

“A wolf..?”

“No. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. There were two, I think. One took out a nice chunk of me.” He winced, letting out a painful grunt as he shifted a little.

You helped him down to rest against one of the hay bales. Minho groaned as he clutched his stomach, looking up at you and sighing at your expression. It felt as if there was an ocean ravaging the walls of his heart at the sight of your wet cheeks and red eyes.

“I’m going to show you now. There’s a lot of blood... You won’t faint or anything, right?”

“I’ve never fainted at the sight of blood.” You said, sighing, your voice still shaky with concern. “It’s like you barely ever knew me…”

The mention of your shared past together makes Minho shift a little. “Y/n, we need to talk...or rather, I need to. I need t-to- fuck- tell you what’s going on..” He winced at the pain, deciding that the wound was probably of foremost importance. Slowly, he started to roll up his shirt. You swallowed slightly as his abs came into view. Those definitely weren’t there before.

But then, your eyes widened for a different reason as you saw the gash in his stomach. Gasping, you bent down in front of him to inspect it closer, your eyes growing watery at the bloody, gruesome sight. “Oh m-my god, Minho-“

“Told you it was bad.”

“We need a first aid kit! There’s one around here somewhere…”

You stood up urgently, going over to the corner and finding the large box that was usually saved for the dragon-related injuries. All thoughts left your brain except the desperate need to help him, to save him.

You grabbed it, getting back to Minho’s side, you started arranging the items you would need next to you. “This might sting a bit.” You warned, eyes soft as he let out a grunt of pain.

You washed the wound, using water from your pouch. After applying the healing ointment, you wrapped the bandages around him carefully. Thankfully, it wasn’t quite as bad as it had looked.

Minho watched you intently as you treated him, occasionally hissing at the sting. However, his eyes were mostly focused on you as you dressed his wound, swallowing quietly.

Pretty. He’d always known you were pretty. However in moments like these, when you seemed to be lost in your work, you looked so breathtakingly beautiful that it almost hurt.

“Almost done…” A few minutes later, you sat up, frowning as you realized something. “Wait. You..you won’t be able to train properly tomorrow if you’re hurt like this.” You cursed, before inhaling deeply as an idea swam into your brain. You looked back down at his soft eyes, noticing his stare on you but choosing to pretend otherwise. Every time his eyes looked into yours, a ton of butterflies would threaten to start a tornado within the walls of your heart.

“I’m going to accelerate the healing process, it should work.” You whispered softly after a while, humming. “I hope.”

Minho looked up at you, “Hm? How...Are you sure?” You could detect the shiver in his voice, his fear of not being able to participate in the championships. He couldn’t afford for that to happen..his father would kill him.

You nodded, standing up urgently. “I’m sure.” Your eyes travelled up, observing each dragon before your gaze stopped at one.

Walking over to the green dragon sleeping in the corner of the stable beside two other ones, you studied its unique form. Its body was a striking emerald green, her spikes pink and covered in vines, along with the occasional tulip blooms scattered across her body. She was absolutely stunning.

If Felix’s description was anything to go by, this was Flore.

It was the cute little freckles scattered across its snout that reminded you of its owner. She was just as pretty as him, too.

You wasted no time unlocking the door and climbing into the stall, your hand reaching out to stroke her neck gently, hoping it would be enough to wake her. You only needed a few seconds of her time- after all, she needed as much rest as she could get for tomorrow.

One large eye opened slowly, watching you as you pet her. You smiled at the dragon as she yawned, evidently enjoying your touch as she leaned closer to you.

Minho watched as you whispered softly to the huge green dragon, pointing over to him. He felt his chest tighten as the dragon nodded its big head in response to whatever question you’d just asked, offering you a soft, affectionate lick on your forehead.

He tore his eyes away for a moment as they closed, the pain was far too excruciating. And yet, it couldn’t even come close to the agony within his head, in his chest, in his very bones. All of the events of the past years swirled around in his skull, far too stubborn to fade. Why was it so hard to let go?

A minute later, he felt a soft hand stroking his forehead. His eyes opened slowly, his gaze falling on the shimmering green dragon scale in your hand. “Flore wanted to help.” You said softly, tilting your chin towards the already asleep dragon before tucking the scale behind a layer of bandages carefully, making sure it was secure. He never stopped gazing at you. You were biting your lip softly, your eyes filled with worry and confusion. His eyes landed on your lips.

He missed seeing you like this. You always did have that habit of sticking out your cute little tongue whenever you were concentrating on something.

“Last year, I read that a Terra dragon scale is one of the primary ingredients in a healing potion.” A healing potion was liquid and meant to be ingested. However, you hoped the same effect would happen here, even though it was an unconventional method. “I’m hoping it will work like this, it should..”

He couldn’t focus on the words leaving your mouth, his eyes still lost in the process of watching you.

You hummed once you were done. “There.” Your voice was soft, a smile on your face. “Tomorrow morning, everything will be okay.”

“Thank you. I already feel healthier than before, somehow.” He said quietly, voice barely above a whisper. You glanced up when you felt his eyes on you, your cheeks turning pink as you focused on his bandages once more. Minho tilted his head, a small sigh leaving his lips as he tore his eyes away from you, looking up at the sleeping dragon behind you.

Aeracus. Minho’s heart clenched at the sight. He’d really missed him...despite it all, he’d still been his owner. Besides, he reminded Minho of a simpler time..back when the two of you hadn’t been plagued with suffering and guilt.

Meanwhile, the silence was getting to you. You were still angry at him, but the fact remained that he was injured. You had to treat him with care, but all you could think about was the pain you’d gone through for the past days.

Betrayal. It was raw, still red hot. It hurt more than a knife to the chest, a feeling that felt like it wasn’t going to go away any time soon.

“I can’t believe her.” You mumbled finally, under your breath, the memory of the campfire emerging to the forefront of your brain. You were hoping Minho wouldn’t hear you over the loud snoring of the dragons...but he did. “All the things she said..”

Minho’s eyes widened a little. Oh god, the pain had almost made him forget about the disastrous events of the campfire. He stuttered, scratching the back of his neck. “I…don’t know how she..” He sighed, trailing off as his eyes looked away from yours. “Uh. Where she heard..” He wanted to explain, but the words were stuck on his tongue. Gritting his teeth, he closed his mouth and looked away.

Raising your eyebrow at his lack of response, you sighed and looked away. “Thought so.” You didn’t look at him. You just couldn’t. Soon enough, angry tears were pricking your eyes once again.

Your decision to stay silent was slowly melting away as the anger swirling in your heart grew. Before you knew it, the words ripped themselves from your throat. “You know what really happened that night. Were you really angry at me that I couldn’t convince my father of your innocence? That you’d defame me across every village, turn everyone against me?” Your voice was quiet but filled with hurt.

“It’s not.. like that. I’ve never been angry at you, Y/n, I’m well aware that some things are far beyond our control.” He cut across firmly. “I didn’t lie to her, it just happened to come out the way it did. She assumed a lot of things herself. The rumors..that’s all they are. Rumors.”

Right. She just assumed. Your heart felt like it was burning, like every last piece of hope within was crumbling away into nothing. That fateful night..how could Minho let her believe that skewed version? After everything they’d been through..

Wolfberries are poisonous. Everyone knows this. And yet, you’d read about how delicious they were, quite possibly one of the most delectable fruits in the land. Deadly sweet. They looked quite beautiful too..especially the one nestled in your hand. Small, purple and tear-drop shaped...the insides were supposedly periwinkle blue. You’d never seen one in the flesh before, until now.

“Y/n!”

You looked up when you heard Minho call out for you, gesturing you to come towards him faster. You nodded, eyes taking one last look at the wolfberry bush before you dropped the one you were holding, squishing it under your boot. Toxic, yet deceivingly beautiful...

“Babe?” Minho called out again, making you snap back to attention as you continued to follow him up the hill. It was a sunny day, your hand shielding your eyes as you squinted in his direction. “Minho..I’m not sure we should have come out this far.” You said softly after a while, looking around apprehensively. You walked faster to catch up with him, a tiny amount of fear filling your chest. The two of you truly did love to explore, but never before had you ventured out this far from the village.

Out here, even if you screamed, no one would hear. What if you happened to come across bandits, or wild dogs, or maybe even a rogue dragon? The two of you would truly be done for, if that was the case.

“Love, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here, aren’t I?” He said softly, pausing and turning around to reach you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close. “You know I will always protect you, baby star.”

You sighed softly against his warm chest, a reluctant nod following. Besides, his presence was all the courage you needed. Minho would do anything to protect you. Sometimes, you wished you could protect him too.

“Besides, I still haven’t shown you my surprise yet. Aren’t you curious?” He asked, emphasizing the last word with a smile as he knew just how inquisitive you were.

“I am..” You looked up into his eyes, leaning up to press a soft peck on his lips. He smiled, his hand stroking your cheek as he left a chaste kiss of his own on your mouth, teeth nipping at the soft flesh of your lower lip before pulling away.

Fingers intertwining with yours, Minho began to walk again, eyes trained straight ahead, leading you further and further away from the village. Somehow, you couldn’t get rid of that foreboding, uneasy feeling.

Soon, your eyes widened as you saw the entrance to a large set of stony caves come into view, jutting out from the side of the mountain. You frowned, looking up at Minho as he led you straight towards it, the grass crunching below his feet. The stone walls were glistening, a peculiar shade of teal that enticed you to go near it.

The closer you got however, the more familiar it looked. That was weird though, wasn’t it? You’ve never been here. And yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d seen this place before.

Minho looked back at you, noticing the fear in your eyes and humming as he pulled you close. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, star. It’s just a cave. Besides, we have Aeracus and Caeli to protect us, don’t we?”

“Hm? I thought they’re back at the stables for their grooming session-“

He simply smiled, looking up at the sky. You followed his gaze, eyes widening as you saw the two dragons fly closer, landing on the ground beside you. “I thought you said it would just be the two of us?” You giggled, stroking your windswept hair as you smiled at Aeracus.

“Mhm, but I thought it would be nice to have them guard the place, for some extra protection. I moved their appointments to tomorrow. Besides, we don’t want anyone interrupting us, now do we?” He raised an eyebrow, fingers squeezing your hand and making you giggle, cheeks flushing. “It’s our anniversary after all. I need to make sure you leave this cave tonight a.. satisfied woman.”

“Nnn..you demon.” You smiled widely, pecking his cheek repeatedly, making him laugh as he let you attack him with eager kisses all over his face.

It had seemed like a good idea, at the moment. How could you have known any better?

There was a long silence as Minho quietly took you in, heart beating as he tried to form words. The act was proving to be increasingly difficult, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your sad gaze trained on the floor.

“Why?” You asked finally, voice barely a whisper. Why wasn’t I...enough.”

You sighed as you stared at the bandages, barely able to conceal the deep pain you were feeling. The words felt like they were stuck in your throat. Your voice was too soft, too quiet, almost as if you didn’t want him to hear.

“How...could you fall in love with someone else. Did your promises mean nothing?” You were almost musing to yourself at this point, slow tears running down your cheeks. You realized you were being too vulnerable. You didn’t want him to see you like this. The pain was intense and all consuming, it had wrecked you thoroughly. You knew there was no point in pretending you didn’t feel weak and pathetic. Still..

“But..never mind. I don’t care anymore.” You lied, biting your lip. “I just..hope you know how much it hurt. To see you in someone else’s arms, holding her and kissing her. Minho, I felt so... worthless.” You choked on the last word, feeling like you were falling apart before his eyes.

Several seconds of silence passed, your fingers wringing as the lump in your throat made its presence known. There were no more thoughts in your head. The soft words slipped off your tongue, like they’d been perched on the tip all this while.

“If..if the universe lets you feel even a little bit of the pain I felt, I’ll be the happiest woman in the world.” You mumbled after a while, trying to cover up your heartache with hostility.

The truth was, you did care. Maybe a little too much. In fact, he was the only thing you cared about in this whole damn world. Well, him and Aeracus. None of the words you uttered had any edge to them. They sounded as weak as ever, meaningless. And of course, you’d never wish any pain on this unbelievably beautiful man in front of you, you never wanted to see him hurt.

He swallowed, silent the whole time as he watched you. Each word felt like knives, sharp and cruel as they sliced into his heart. This was hard. He felt guilty enough about everything the two of you had been thrust into, about the part he’d played in all of it. All the misunderstandings and unspoken words between you turned the air thick, dense, filled with tension of all kinds- it was unbearable. He couldn’t stand this. There had been a time where keeping secrets from you just wasn’t an option. How things change.

Then again..

He did have you alone right now. He was dangerously close to coming clean. The heartache was starting to become too intense for him, and he wasn’t quite sure how much longer he could go through with it. Minho couldn’t look into your pain-filled eyes. The way your voice broke when you spoke, your shaky whispers and hurt gaze..it was all intolerable.

You could do it, Minho. She’s right in front of you. What other chance would prove to be more perfect?

He knew he’d have to think this through, but with your beautiful face existing right in front of his, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his mouth shut. Especially with those tantalizing lips so close, and yet just out of reach.

When he finally spoke, you raised your chin to look at him, blinking softly. His voice was quiet, his fingers tapping on his thigh.

“I’m sorry. I promise you, I never lied about anything that happened that night. A rumor happened to get out of hand, that’s all. Gossip spreads across the villages like wildfire.” He said quietly, averting his gaze from yours. “I know you deserve better..” He whispered to himself.

You didn’t say anything. Even if you believed him, it didn’t give you a reason to be any less angry. He still abandoned you, fell out of love with you even after all his promises. Betrayed you. This was definitely the part that hurt the most.

You still remember how shaken you’d felt back when he’d returned. You’d expected a warm gaze of love, one that you’d hoped would relieve the ache that had built up each second he’d been gone. Instead, you’d received cold eyes and a guarded heart, one that had once been yours.

You sighed, feeling your heart pound. There was silence for a few minutes as you closed your eyes. All the sadness and pain inside you was starting to swirl around, turning into something a lot more rotten. Anger. Regret. Grief. All the pent up emotions were threatening to spill helplessly, and you could do nothing about it.

“So then, how is she? Better than me?” Your words were bitter, your throat aching as you could barely pick what words decided to make their way out of your throat.

He sighed, sitting up and breaking out of his thoughts on how he could tell you the truth. “Look, Y/n-“

“Answer me.” You said, staring at him. He swallowed at the malicious glint in your eyes- there was still pain, though. This time, overpowered with anger and torment. “‘Cause she must have been pretty fucking special for you to forget about me so easily. As if I never existed.”

“It’s not what you think.” He interjected, seeming too wrecked and conflicted as he clenched his fists.

“What do you mean? You love her and she loves you, isn’t that right? It’s almost like a fairytale.” You hum. “I saw how happy you looked together. It’s nice to hear you’ve found the one.” You mumbled.

He widened his eyes a little at your words.

Fuck that. You’ll always be the one for him. Deep down, he knows you know that too.

“I..mhm.” Minho coughed, still unable to make a choice. How was he supposed to know which decision was right?

“Mhm.” You hummed, not interested in hearing any more as his words only drove the stake deeper into your chest. Your heart was an ocean of sadness and pain, and it was difficult getting the waves under control enough for your face to be still. The urge to disappear was only growing. You wanted to escape, but you didn’t know where to. The only place you’d ever felt safe was in his arms.

The turmoil in your expression was so evident that Minho couldn’t help but swallow, chewing on his lips as he debated himself in his head.

Fuck it. The words were on the tip on his tongue. He’d always been a man of control, but some truths were just too hard to hide.

His eyes fell on your lips. You were biting them, nervous, plump flesh caught between your teeth.

In that moment, Minho knew. The right decision was whichever one would lead to him closer to those lips of yours.

“You must be looking forward to the weddi-“

He couldn’t. He just couldn’t let you feel like this anymore. He was tired of pretending.

“Y/n, stop!” He shouted, interrupting you and making your eyes widen a little.

“It isn’t what it seems like, it was just a fucking arranged marriage okay?! Fuck.” He glared, inhaling deeply after the words that blurted out of his mouth. “I don’t love her. I never did, never, please..I can’t take this anymore-” He scrunched his eyes shut, voice shaky as he realized the gravitas of what he’d just done.

You paused for a second, in deep confusion as you stared at him, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving up and down. “What..? What do you mean?”

He looked up, biting his lip and grunting. “An alliance, that I was forced into. She’s in love, believe me. But I most definitely am not.” His voice was almost dark as he stared at the wall, his eyes traveling up to stare at his black dragon, swallowing before quickly looking back at you.

You tried to understand, your chest still tight as you looked up, eyes wide and vulnerable.“B-but why? I don’t..understand..you love her-“

“Are you really that clueless?” He hissed, looking at you, his face right in front of you. When had he moved closer?

Silence followed as the words sunk into your brain. At the moment, you couldn’t quite comprehend anything, jumbled words floating about in your brain as you tried to make sense of it all. An arranged marriage? But the chiefs had said...

“You are so..oblivious.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he sucked in a breath, staring at your dumbfounded features. “It shocks me..how you didn’t notice. I always thought you were clever, too. I don’t. I don’t love her.”

You raised your eyebrows, using the back of your hand to rub your incessant tears. “What are you talking about, Min-“

“I’m talking about this. This.”

And in a second, a second that seemed to encompass all of eternity, Minho leaned forward, his lips crashing against yours.

The shock that coursed through your veins was immediate, powerful.

You would never have expected it in a million years- definitely not after the events of the past few days. Definitely not after having your heart broken into pieces, after having to see his lips on another girl’s and a ring on his finger.

Your breathing grew impossibly quicker, your heart pounding against your chest as he pulled you closer to him, kissing you roughly. Was this some sort of a dream? No, his lips felt too warm and soft and real to be one.

Everything about the kiss was insistent. It felt like he was trying to prove something to you. You could feel it, the desperation and pent up passion. Your body felt like it was weakening as each second passed. The tiny gasp you let out into his mouth made his heart jump in his chest. His mouth softly moved against yours, trapping your lips between his, massaging your lips with his own gently. Soft and wet, slow and passionate.

Minho pulled away for a little, his eyes searching yours as he groaned. He opened his mouth slightly, looking like he wanted to say something. He hesitated a little before he whispered under his breath. “You stole my heart a long time ago, Y/n. It feels like I don’t have one to give away to someone anymore, even if I wanted to.”

Your eyes filled with more tears at his soft words, goosebumps forming all over your skin. And in that moment, you almost felt like you were home again.

His hand on your jaw moved downwards, his thumb swiping across your bottom lip and tugging it downwards ever so gently before leaning in with his eyes closed, his lips claiming yours once more.

Everything in you was screaming at you, telling you not to kiss him back. But how could you not? You’d been waiting for his return, for years. He’s all you’ve ever known, ever since you were a little baby. You’d felt so hopelessly lost without him.

Feeling his lips against yours just felt...right. You’d missed this sensation so much, you almost felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest, leaving behind a burning hole in your ribcage.

So, you moved your lips against his, kissing him back with the desperation that had been trapped inside your chest all this while. The warmth, fierce passion pulsing between the two of you, was rushing straight to your head, gripping your body in its merciless clutches.

He pulled away finally, despite not wanting to. The two of you sucked in breaths as you stared at each other, swallowing and gasping.

“Fuck. You taste the same.” He growled, pulling you close to him once more, lifting you slightly and making you straddle his lap. The sudden position caught you off guard, your whole face turning red as you steadied yourself, placing your hands on his shoulders. “M-minho-“

“Mine.” He hissed, nipping at your neck and gently sucking on the sensitive skin. “You’re mine. All mine. Tell that Terra bastard to fuck off.” He muttered, gripping you so tightly your skin was likely to bruise.

“Why..“ You sniffed, your voice weak. “You’re playing with my emotions. How could you do this to me? How could you break my heart, ruin me, and then do this, say that. It hur-“

“I’m not playing with you.” He said, his eyes slightly wet as he cupped your cheeks with both hands, sitting up. “Y/n…do you know how long I’ve waited for this moment? I love you. I never stopped loving you, not for a second. It doesn’t matter if we spend a million years apart, I know I’d always feel the same way about you.”

You shook your head, the tears flowing steadily past your eyes as the pain, the heartache you’d felt for the past few days failed to fade away.

“Do you know…do you know how much it hurt? How much it ached? I waited for you all these years, only to see you come back with somebody else hanging off your arm. An elegant, beautiful heiress.” You sniffed, pulling away from him slightly. “She was all over you. Scratch that, you were all over each other. You defiled my mother’s room-“

“Your mom’s room? What?” Minho’s eyes widened, confusion taking over his features.

“Yeah…you didn’t know?”

“Of course I didn’t! I would never- fuck.” Minho shook his head. “Your dad offered us the room. That’s all I knew. I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize it.” He winced at the thought of that night. Every time he touched Jisu, all he could think about was your face at the door. How he wished he could have pushed the woman away and ran out into the hallway to find you, pull you close and hold you. You, you, you. And now that he’d passed the point of no return, he found himself burning up with desire for you, that he’d been harboring all these years.

You didn’t say anything, staring at the floor. The tears continued to run down your cheeks as you shook a little. “I felt so hopeless. Even now, I’m scared, Minho. Scared that you’ll fade away, turn into pieces, that I’ll wake up in my bed and this will all have been a dream. That I’d have to head out and see the one who meant the world to me hold another woman. He was all I had. I survived all these years, because there was hope that you were out there somewhere, waiting for me too. But then, I saw you barely glance at me, treat me as if I was nothing.” You sniffed. It was hard to speak.

“When I looked into your eyes, I saw nothing there. It was scary, Minho. I felt lost. It felt like my lover had died, and there was someone else taking his place. Someone who I knew nothing about, a stranger.”

There was pain in his eyes as he listened to you talk.

“I’m sorry. I know...I know I hurt you. It hurt even more to pretend like I didn’t love you anymore.” He sighed, flashes of bad memories echoing in his brain. “When...you go through what I did, you learn to act. To pretend, to tuck away feelings and emotions. It was hard, terribly hard. It took every ounce of strength in me to not scoop you into my arms as soon as I saw you, Y/n.”

You would be lying if you hadn’t seen chinks in Minho’s armor. However you had told yourself the longing you’d caught in his eyes was just your own helpless heart fabricating hope. Your imagination had always been far too wild.

“I know these are just words I’m saying right now, but I want you to know that I mean it. More than anything. I missed you. You were all I thought about, and all I wanted to do was feel you again. My father..you know what he is like. Once he wants something, he just won’t stop..” Minho trailed off, frowning to himself before snapping back to attention. “And Jisu? She is nothing to me. Nothing more than someone who I am forced to love. She could never make me feel the way you do.”

You saw the sincerity in his eyes, and it tugged at your heart. Your eyes stung, the image of that woman was something you wished you could erase completely.

“You’ll be married to her soon..you’re still an engaged man. And even if our hearts belong to each other, the ring on your finger is not mine.” You whispered, staring down at his lap.

“Once the championships are over, we’ll probably never even see each other again.” Your voice was quiet, your eyes still avoiding his. You didn’t know if you could handle that, or even a second without him now that you’d felt his lips on yours again, his skin against your skin. The thought was excruciating. You’d lost him once. If it happened again, it would be sure to break you.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.” Minho breathed in deeply, kissing your forehead as he tucked strands of your hair behind your ear. “We will have our happily ever after, I promise you.”

“Are you sure? What makes you certain?” You could see the sadness in his smile, even if he tried to hide it. Maybe he knew how hopeless it was, too. “It just seems like everyone’s trying to keep us apart. Our own fathers don’t want us together anymore. I don’t think they’d even approve of our friendship, after everything that happened.”

Minho scoffed as his lips slid lower, settling on your collarbone. “Not mine. He would have been alright with us, if your father hadn’t kicked me out for something I’d never done.” His tongue slid across your skin. “My love. You are everything I’ve ever been sure about. You’re mine..always.”

You stayed silent, unable to reply as he sucked harsher on you. Letting out a small whine, you squirmed as he suddenly pushed his hips up a little, causing a sensation that threatened to have you falling apart in his arms already.

It wasn’t long before you felt his solid bulge brush up against your clothed entrance, a gasp leaving your lips at the feeling. The thickness barely concealed in his pants continued to brush against your helpless core as his hips moved again.

“I missed you so much, pretty. I miss staring at the stars with you, I miss watching the fishes in the lake, I miss sneaking out with our dragons, I miss all the late night kisses and forbidden touches.” He whispered, hands sliding up to hold your waist. “I spent every waking moment thinking about you, Y/n. Even my dreams were filled with you.”

“S-so did I…” You said softly, still a little overwhelmed as he slid his hands up your shirt. Your heart felt like it was an ocean, waves crashing between your ribs.

“I knew we’d see each other again soon, though. You and I, we’re meant to be. That day, when I left the village..I told myself I’d come back for you. I wasn’t going to give up that easily.” He hummed as he pressed soft pecks on your heated skin. “Of course, I hadn’t expected Jisu. She wasn’t a part of the plan.” He sighed, momentarily closing his eyes.

The mention of that woman sent another wave of pain through you as you let out a small sniff, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. You trusted him. And yet, there was still some kind of hopelessness in the air that was hard to ignore. Minho never broke his promises..at least from what you remember. Some things were out of his control though. Maybe this was one of them. Unrequited love was somehow less painful than the idea of a love that burned so strong, and yet the whole world seemed to be against it.

He noticed your expression, sighing. “I’m sorry for mentioning her. I’ll make sure things work out. You just have to trust me. Can you do that?”

“You know I always have.” You whispered, soft eyes running over his face. There was just so much love brimming in your poor broken heart. And the familiar look in his eyes, the affectionate gaze...it was healing the pieces in your chest, bit by bit. Your hands cupped his cheeks and pressing a featherlight kiss of your own on his nose, sniffing.

You noticed the way his cheeks subtly reddened as you did so, the butterflies inside you flapping their wings harder. “Good girl. My good kitten..”

He moved you off his lap, laying you down before climbing over you, taking in your wide innocent eyes. You looked like a little scared bunny, and he delighted in the shiver of your sensitive skin as he ghosted his fingers over you. You were his prey, and he was just about ready to devour you.

“That...Felix’s hands...all over you. It angered me. Doesn’t he know you’re mine?” He asked, the hunger and desire in his eyes making your lips emit a meek whimper.

“Am I?”

“Of course you are. You said I hurt you, but don’t you know how it felt to see you walk away with him, leading him to our special place? I know that’s where you took him.”

Your expression turned indignant as you whined. “Minho, you can’t blame me for that! There I was, thinking you were engaged and in love with someone else. What was I supposed to do? Felix...he was nice. He cared.”

He hummed. “Look..baby, I’m sorry. I know how much pain I’ve caused you, and I’m prepared to spend my whole life making it up to you, princess.” He stared at your lips, using his thumb to stroke them, admiring the softness. It was something he loved about you...everything about you was soft. Soft, loving eyes. Soft lips, soft skin, and most of all, a soft fragile heart. He wanted to keep you safe and protect you, hold you close to him and make you his every possible moment. He wanted to love you deeply. It was what you’d done all these years. He felt terrible, knowing how much he’d hurt you, making you think your love and loyalty didn’t mean anything to him anymore. When in fact, everything about you meant the world to him.

Soon he was leaning down again, making out with you passionately. You moved your lips to his rhythm, the soft slide of his tongue and warm breath threatening to melt all your thoughts away.

You couldn’t resist him. Kissing him deeper, letting out a soft whine against his mouth as his lips pulled on your bottom one, his tongue brushing against yours softly.

His hands wandered all over your body, settling on your waist as he let out soft groans into your lips.

“I want you..” You barely knew the words leaving your mouth. It was like your heart and all its desires had taken your brain hostage- you no longer knew anything but the way Minho felt against you. It was all you needed, all you craved.

He wrapped his arms around you tighter, preventing you from squirming much further.

“Oh you do, now do you?” He chuckled, squeezing the sides of your waist just a little. “How do you want me, princess?”

“I just- I just want..” You trailed off, your cheeks dusted pink as you started to feel too shy.

He chuckled at your vague answer. “Alright, where do you want me?” His fingers ghosted over your waist, reaching up to cup your breasts, your nipples caught between his fingers. “Here?” He gently rolled your soft buds between his calloused digits, sending tingles through your body. You whimpered, your lips falling open softly as your eyes closed.

He leaned in to kiss your neck as his hand traveled downwards, circling your navel gently before reaching the top of your undergarments. His movements were slow and decisive as he slid his hand over your panties to rub your drenched folds gently, a soft groan leaving him as his fingers made contact with your sensitive heat. “Or here, maybe.” His fingers were slow as they slid up and down. He groaned, he could already feel how wet you’d gotten even through the flimsy, soaked fabric.

“Now, kitten, tell me.” His voice was firm.

You tried to gather up the words, your brain too fuzzy to work. “Everywhere..” you finally managed to say, your hips leaning into his touch, making him smirk.

“Can’t choose? Of course. My kitten is just as greedy as ever.” Slowly, he decided to pull the soaked fabric to the side, an audible groan leaving his bitten lips as he laid eyes on your pretty pussy after all these years.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled, using his slender fingers to push apart your folds, his eyes landing on your glistening pink core. They turned darker, traveling slowly back to your face to meet your gaze. Lowering himself, you felt your cheeks turn pink as you closed your eyes, shivering and already a mess.

When you finally felt his tongue swipe across your folds, your eyes opened as a helpless whimper left your lips, his ears relishing that beautiful sound.

“More. I want to hear you moan.” Those words were accompanied with a soft kiss on your sensitive nub, his lips closing around it.

You couldn’t help but moan loudly as he sucked on your clit, pulling away to let the tip of his finger play with your bundle of nerves. He loved just how sensitive you were, how you reacted to his touches. It was nothing short of addictive.

“How does it feel, princess?” He asked softly, a teasing lilt to his tone as his thumb stroked your folds, slipping into your entrance. “I remember how it felt, the first time I touched you like this. To be the one who gets to ruin you, your innocent little face scrunched up in pleasure for the first time..pleasure that I’m giving you. Fuck.” Minho groaned, the bulge in his pants starting to feel suffocated as he watched your folds take him in. His other hand crept down to free his length, holding it in his hand as he stroked his dick in time with his fingers’ shallow thrusts, his eyes trained on your leaking, soft pussy. Each little thrust forced a small mewl out of your mouth, growing louder as his fingers reached deeper into your warmth.

Minho didn’t know how much longer he could hold himself back. He wanted to be deep inside you, filling you up and claiming you over and over again. His jaw clenched as you opened your eyes hazily, your gaze traveling to his cock. He noticed your heavy inhale, your cheeks turning redder at the sight.

“Mm, princess?” He asked, the corners of his lips tilting upwards. “Missed this?” He glanced down at his own length momentarily. “You were always such a little slut for my cock.”

You licked your lip softly, unable to tear your eyes away from the heavenly sight of him stroking himself. It only deepened the pleasure as you started to feel your tummy tighten up, your brain growing hazier as you felt the pleasure build up…

..until it was gone, fading away as Minho pulled his fingers out, your core throbbing in need. You let out a needy whine, looking up at him with teary eyes. You were just about to ask him why he stopped when his fingers gripped your hips, spreading your legs and fitting himself in between your thighs as he leaned down to capture your lips again.

“I want to make sure you can’t walk, ruin you completely. Claim you as mine.”

You gasped as he slicked himself through your folds, a shocked mewl escaping you as he slipped his head in.

Minho exhaled. “I want you to come apart on my cock. I want to..fuck- feel you.” As the first inch slid in, you could barely breathe. Deeper, his eyes flitted between your needy features and the place where the two of you were connected, his length disappearing into your core.

“M-minho…” You let out a soft whimper, his length stretching out your walls slowly as he pushed himself deep into you. It had been too long since you’d felt him against you like this. His lips were littering soft kisses along the expanse of your chest as he hummed softly, his hips barely moving as he waited for you to adjust.

It felt different, he felt different. And yet, all too familiar. He still smelled the same, you realized. Clean, like the ocean.

Minho pulled away from your neck to look into your eyes, his gaze piercing into your soul as he pressed a soft kiss on your nose. A single deep thrust followed, making you gasp. His eyes darkened at the sound, his grip on your hips tightening just a little.

Slowly, he began moving his hips. Minho watched your expressions carefully, your soft lips parted and eyes glazed over as his thrusts grew deeper and rougher. The little, delicate whimpers falling off your tongue made him groan louder, you looked so small and vulnerable beneath him. He felt himself starting to lose control, breathing heavier as his big hands grabbed your ass, sitting back on his haunches and pulling you to his chest, so you were on his lap.

“Your moans are...so pretty, kitten.” He whispered, his eyes trained on your breasts as one hand travelled up your waist, making you shiver as you looked down at him. He looked so hungry. It almost scared you, how much this man seemed to be consumed by passion. All because of you.

He’d abandoned any thoughts of easing you into it as a needy whine left your lips, realizing he’d brushed against your sweet spot. Minho chuckled as his gripped your rear cheeks, pulling on them slightly as he forced you to bounce up and down on him, sliding your body down his shaft as if you were a doll.

“Pretty, pretty. My small little kitten.” He hissed as he felt your core tightly wrapped around him.

You couldn’t do anything but whine helplessly, his hands moving you as he grunted, capturing your lips with his own. He bit on your bottom lip, tugging slightly. He was overwhelmed by the feeling of your walls around him, so perfect, so tight and warm.

“It feels so good.” You managed to say, hands on his shoulders as you felt him impossibly deep inside you. He stared into your eyes as you spoke, his lips opening to capture yours in a desperate kiss. Minho started to buck his hips, pounding into your core, repeatedly against the spot he knew would make you scream the most. Your eyes widened as he did so, your mouth opening but no sound coming out as Minho clamped his hand over your lips. He couldn’t have the dragons waking up, or anyone happening to pass by hear.

Your eyes filled with tears of pleasure as the sensations inside you swirled into a tornado, building up deep within. It was more intense than anything you’d ever felt. His thick length, covered in your essence, his insistent thrusts and dark lust-filled eyes all proving to be too much for you as the high kept climbing. Minho tilted his head, watching your hazy eyes and realizing you were too close to your high.

He slammed you down on him, your hips flush against each other as he moved you in a circle, grinding you against him as the two of you let out simultaneous groans. His fingers crept down to rub your clit, flicking it softly and only contributing to your undoing.

It all happened too fast. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as the white hot pleasure exploded, sparks taking over every inch of your body. Minho watched the beautiful sight, his breath shaky as he continued to fuck into you through your high. Your desperate mewls made him kiss your lips deeply, your drenched heat clenching around him was too heavenly.

A few more thrusts was all it took for him to fill you up, his hips still moving so he could push his warm seed deeper into you. It felt so good, to have him make you whole, every inch of you his.

“I’ve always dreamed of doing this to you..” He whispered as he slowly thrusted into you, making sure his cum was pushed deeper. “I’ve always imagined what it would be like to see you, with my baby inside your pretty belly. You’d look so..beautiful.”

His words were too quiet and your mind was too fuzzy to comprehend what he was saying. A soft moan disappeared into the air. You’d never felt more full than you had at this moment. His arms, strong around you, holding you like he was never going to let go. The two of you connected, as one.

He smelled the same. His skin felt as warm and soft as ever, his eyes still held the same twinkle.

The way he held you was different, though. Confident, his grip on your hips. His smirk, his strong eyebrows, his broad chest and dark gaze. The way he had claimed you as his, his thrusts deep and his kisses leaving you breathless. Even now, as his hands ran down your back and his length brushed deeper into your core, it was a far cry from the awkward teenage touches and fumbling in the dark.

It was a different Minho, and yet you could still see the whole universe in his eyes. The old softness in his gaze and warmth that you’d missed more than anything.

“I love you.” You whispered, blinking softly. Your eyelashes felt heavy, and your heart was still pounding in your chest. Butterflies were ravaging your insides as you looked at him, your cheeks pink, waiting for him to say something.

Staying quiet, he leaned in slowly. He kissed your lips softly, softer than ever before. Repeated soft pecks, each one placed on your mouth slower than the last.

Moving closer, he laid you down again slowly. His eyes were watching the way your folds hugged his cock tightly even as he pulled out, his tip finally leaving your soft core, soaked and open. “Your pretty pussy looks like it misses my cock.” He whispered, his tone teasing. Your cheeks turned pink, whining as you covered your eyes in embarrassment at his lust-filled words.

Minho wrapped his fingers around his length, stroking himself as he pressed the head of his cock against your throbbing core, pulling away and pushing slightly in again. “See? Look at the way you suck me in, so tight and needy. Are you that desperate for me?”

You peeked out from behind your fingers, cheeks still red as you nodded. Minho smiled softly at the adorable sight, pulling away. “Can you get on your hands and knees, princess? Ass up in the air for me, now.” He whispered.

You obeyed, turning around. Minho held your hips once more, making you raise your ass higher as his hungry eyes took in your soft pussy lips. His fingers pushed your lips apart, observing the white liquid leaking down your heat.

“I can’t believe how beautiful you are.” He whispered, thumb rubbing your core softly, pushing it back into your hole. “We can’t have you losing any of this, now. Keep it all in like a good girl.” You let out a soft moan in response.

He kissed your back before holding your waist and pulling you into an embrace, laying the both of you down onto the soft hay.

You rested your cheek on his chest, rubbing it against him softly. “I missed you.” You say softly, tears flowing down. “I really missed you.” You felt like those four words weren’t nearly enough to describe everything you’d gone through. With him gone, it felt like there had been an empty hole inside your chest. He was your person. Your home.

His voice was quiet as his hand idly stroked your hair, lips leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“What about..” you swallowed, trying to blink back the tears. “Her..”

“Please...don’t think about her.” Minho sighed, wincing at the thought of the woman waiting in his bed for him. “I would rather pretend she doesn’t exist when I’m with you.”

“But she does. She’s real and it..it hurts.”

Minho looked down at you, hands holding your cheeks as he leaned down to kiss you. “My little star.” He smiled fondly against your lips, tucking your hair behind your ear like he’d done countless times before. That nickname. It sent sparks of electricity through your chest. “She doesn’t matter. Like I said before..I spent so many years away from you, feeling empty and cold. Then, I saw you again. It felt like I’d found my heart, the one I’d lost all those years ago.” He whispered, his fingers slowly inching their way to your chest and pressing his palm over your heart. “It was here, all along. It never left.”

You felt an inexplicable warmth take over as you gazed into his eyes, slowly counting each star that lay within. He was beauty personified.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way, that things were less complicated. But I promise you, we’ll be okay. Do you trust me?”

You trusted him. But you weren’t sure you trusted anyone around him. Definitely not her. She was in love with him too, and you’d happened to see the red hot jealousy in her eyes on more than one occasion. It almost mirrored yours, but you were more careful to hide your possessive nature.

You forced yourself to get rid of those thoughts, Minho’s scent lulling you into a soft, comfortable sleep. “Big day tomorrow baby..go to sleep.” He said softly. You yawned a little, snuggling into Minho’s side and pressing a small kiss on his chest, hoping it would convey the wordless love that hung in the air between you. You didn’t need words, the two of you never did.

His hand was soft as he caressed your back, making you feel protected. Minho waited for you to fall asleep, watching your soft breaths slow down. He stroked your hair and pulled you closer, feeling safe for the first time in a long, long while as you finally succumbed to a deep slumber. He sighed softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love you more, Y/n.”

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐄𝐒 — 𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟏)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: na jaemin x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 33k

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get inside jaemin's mind. flashbacks in jaemin's point of view could change everything.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: this is a flashback chapter. 100% of this will be jaemin's pov and so will part two. jaemin's thought process and feelings will be confusing and they will remain confusing, he goes through a lot of up moments and a lot of down moments. jaemin possibly will anger a lot of you. explicit content, jaemin takes pictures of reader while they’re having sex, protected and unprotected sex, wall sex, floor sex, alcohol and drugs are present in this.

𝐀.𝐍: thank you for your patience, so incredibly thankful. part six will be split into two parts due to how unbelievably long it would've been. also, eunbin is not in this part. she will be appearing on the next.

𝐎𝐍𝐄 ‣ 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ‣ 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ‣ 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ‣ 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍]

Jaemin has always appreciated the things he loves. He appreciates his family, being the people that have given him life and formed him into the man he’s become today. He appreciates his camera, being the priceless item that he owns that brings him pure joy and happiness, capturing the moments of things he finds so beautiful. He appreciates his friends, being the ones that make him feel less lonely on down days and bring a smile to his face.

What he doesn’t appreciate is his personal space being disrespected and crowds of people he doesn’t know which, unfortunately, is happening right now due to Jeno inviting the majority of the fucking students from Neo Tech College without even running it by Jaemin first.

So, as of right now, he doesn’t appreciate Jeno. He hates him.

Hate is a strong word, a word that Jaemin doesn’t use that often on people, so he’s lying whenever he says he hates someone. (unless he truly means it, which is rare) He strongly dislikes Jeno, even going as far as blanking him out and ignoring his presence whenever he peers his head into Jaemin’s room to make sure he’s okay, pouting and pleading for him not to be mad in that voice that would usually make Jaemin crumble, but he stands strong, refusing to give any type of reaction… until Jeno mentions he bought him food.

That’s how Jaemin ends up here, in the kitchen, tucked away in a corner, eating fries and still disliking Jeno.

Many party goers have tried talking to him already, despite Jaemin giving them no reason to do so. No attention is brought to them, but they still seem to crave it from him which makes the little bubble of annoyance in the back of his head grow bigger. He hates being touched and if someone he barely knows runs their hands over his shoulder or his thigh one more time, he’s going to blow.

He’s ignored the advances of six girls already who failed to take the hint until he had to stare at them, giving them the most disinterested and unamused expression that had them frowning and scurrying away out of pure embarrassment, refusing to show their faces to him during the whole night, which was bliss.

There’s a handful of fries left, he thinks to himself, trying to calculate how long he’ll be in the kitchen before he’s able to slip away back up to the comfort of his bedroom. He takes his phone out of his pocket to distract himself, trying to shove as much fries as he can into his mouth without choking.

Jaemin doesn’t take his eyes off of his phone screen as he hears someone walk into the kitchen and he dreads the awful pick-up lines that are about to come, getting ready to give the person a look of absolute disgust to make them go away, but… nothing happens, nothing at all.

He hears the person walking around, opening the refrigerator, reaching for something inside. Just make yourself at home, he mentally scoffs, shaking his head at the behaviour. The person rummages around a little all too well, even speaking to themselves and Jaemin truly thinks they’ve gone insane, letting out a snort which doesn’t go unnoticed. He feels eyes on him and he hates it, it makes him feel uncomfortable and he tries his hardest to keep focused on his device but fails immediately a few seconds after, raising his head to see who it was.

It was you. Jaemin pauses his movement when he reaches for more fries. He knows you. He knows you through Jeno, you’re his friend, he’s brought you around before. He’s seen you hanging out in the living room, he’s seen pictures of you on their instagrams. Jaemin thinks for a moment, he’s pretty sure you’re Yangyang’s best friend… or was you his girlfriend? He’s positive it’s one of the two, but he knows you, and you’re staring right back at him—eyeing him, assessing him.

His brow raises at the way you’re staring at him but he doesn’t dwell on it too much, he doesn’t really care, so he decides to turn his attention back to his phone and eat the rest of his fries but is soon interrupted when a drunk voice calls out your name. Y/N. That’s your name. He’s forced to listen to you both talk, Eric having cornered you into a conversation only a mere few steps in front of him and he can sense your discomfort even without looking up from his phone.

Jaemin closes his eyes, feeling himself getting even more annoyed than he already is. There’s random people in his house, nobody is respecting his personal space, there’s no peace and fucking quiet anywhere and now he has to listen to Eric who is unable to take ‘no’ for an answer because he’s so shitfaced… Jaemin is going to lose it.

“She told you to stop” He interrupts, voice dark and heavy. His eyes flicker up from his phone, glaring holes into Eric who freezes, clearly not expecting to be spoken to in such a way. Jaemin notices the situation, your white shirt stained with beer and see-through, Eric’s hands wiping at your breasts with paper towels.

Jaemin reaches forwards, ripping the paper towels out of his hands and tossing them to the side as Eric laughs nervously, his hands dropping to his sides.

“I was just trying to clean her up—”

He cuts Eric off. “No, you were making her uncomfortable”

Jaemin stands in silence as he listens to Eric’s pathetic excuses, watching as he sways on his feet while trying to reach out for you but you reject his advances. Seems like you don’t want to be here either, huh. He sees how desperate you are to escape and the second you find an excuse to leave, Jaemin buts in, announcing that he will go with you.

The only reason he’s done this is because he knows Eric wants to say the same and it’s confirmed when Eric gives Jaemin one of the most annoyed and dirtiest looks ever but Jaemin ignores it, as usual, and moves to stand beside you. He motions for you to walk first when you take too long to do so and you instantly oblige, leaving first.

Jaemin goes to follow behind you, but not before he turns back to Eric who pathetically stands in the middle of his kitchen. Jaemin’s eyes dart towards the paper towels before they drop down to the floor, seeing the liquid and empty red solo cups scattered across the marble. He fixes his gaze back onto Eric.

“Clean. It. Up”

• • •

To be honest, Jaemin wasn’t exactly sure why he invited you to stay with him in his room. He gave you one of his shirts to wear, just to be kind and allow you to have some dignity, but to offer you a beer and to stay with him inside his room to watch Netflix? What’s he thinking? Not fucking clearly, that’s for sure.

He’s pretty sure you’ve drunk more than half of his alcohol, but that’s not your fault, he was the one that kept offering you can after can. There was no malicious reason behind it, he just didn’t want to talk or make any conversation, so he kept making you both drink to stay busy, even turning up the volume on his show whenever he felt there was a conversation coming.

The alcohol hasn’t hit him, his tolerance is quite high which he’s always been alright with, but seeing you, eyes dazed and unable to keep yourself upright, Jaemin knows he has made the biggest mistake.

Jaemin’s quick to stand from his desk chair when you suddenly jump up from your position on his bed, his hands coming out to steady you when you sway back and forth on your feet. His heart pounds heavily in his ears.

“You really can’t handle your alcohol well” He mutters more to himself than you as he carefully pushes you back down onto his bed. He sighs as he crouches down in front of you, tapping at your knees to get your attention when your eyes wander around the room, head lolling forwards. “Do you need—”

“Holy fuckk, you’re so—hiccup—pretty” You’re slurring your words but Jaemin easily makes out what you had just said. He blinks. You stare at him in awe. He blinks again, brows raising in shock. You just complimented him. Can you even see straight right now? Jaemin grins, clearly amused at your state and he tries his best to hide his laughter when your fingers reach out to touch his face. He slowly recoils back awkwardly. “Wow, your skin is soooo soft!”

“Y/N?” Jaemin calls out your name, taking your hands in his to get them away from his face. You hum, letting him know you’re listening as you give him the cheesiest smile. He bites back a laugh. “What’s my name?”

“My future b—”

“Okay!” Jaemin can’t help but laugh this time as he cuts you off, moving around to grab a spare bottle of water out of the little mini fridge he has beneath his desk. He unscrews the cap for you and presses it against your lips like he would for a baby, forcing you to take a few gulps. I really am treating you like a baby, he thinks to himself, shaking his head and fighting the urge to roll his eyes when the water dribbles down your chin.

He screws the cap back on and places it down beside the bed, keeping his attention focused on you. He notices the way your eyebrows scrunch and how your skin gets clammy.

“Are you going to throw up?” Jaemin asks you, alarmed. Please don’t fucking puke in my room. You shake your head, it makes him feel less alarmed. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel dizzy”

“Alright, lie down” He orders you with a gentle push to your shoulders, allowing you to lay back against his pillows while he quickly walks over to his computer. He checks the time. Fuck, it’s way too late to call you a cab. He huffs, shutting his computer down. He can’t let you walk home either, especially not in the dark. Jeno would beat his ass. “It’s pretty late so you can stay here tonight, alright?”

“Whattttt?” You slur, lifting your head from his pillows. “What about my friends?”

“The party was over an hour ago, they probably went home” Jaemin explains to you all while mentally cursing at them not bothering to come find you to take you away. His fingers toy with the laces of your doc martens, wanting them off your feet and most importantly, off his bed. He yanks them off with ease, not really caring if he’s pulled too hard.

“Bitches!!!!” You cry out angrily and Jaemin glances at you, wondering if you were cussing him out before he turns on his heel, rummaging through his closet to find something for him to wear, feeling the cool air nip at his bare arms.

“They probably didn’t realise, they’re drunk too” Jaemin tells you and something else dawns on him. Great. “Plus, someone might have told them they saw you come up here with me”

“Oh no” He hears you whine and his brows furrow at that. What’s that supposed to mean? “Oh shit—oh fuck—this is so bad!! I’m not even supposed to be here with you right now!!”

What. Jaemin turns to look at you once he tugs a hoodie over his head, slipping his arms through the sleeves as he makes his way back to the bed. He quirks a brow of curiosity as he sits at the edge. “What do you mean?”

“Miwoo wanted to sleep with you tonight to make Jeno jealous. Jeno apparently slept with Yeeun so Miwoo wanted to get back at him, you know, hurt him as much as he hurt her” Jaemin remains stoic, blinking as he takes in your rambling, trying to understand your drunken words the best he can. Once he’s able to make sense of what you said he hums with a nod, pursing his lips in deep thought as he thinks of the situation.

He’s friends with Miwoo, but he can’t stand Miwoo. ‘Frenemies’ he likes to call them both. They fight, they argue, they bicker, but they can get along… sometimes. Not only that, but that’s Jeno’s girlfriend. Jaemin would never do Jeno like that, ever. He respects Jeno more than any other person, even if he dislikes him for the party stuff right now. He appreciates Jeno.

“Well, even if you weren’t with me right now, I still wouldn’t let that happen. No offence, Miwoo’s pretty and all, but I wouldn’t touch her even if she was the last girl on earth and even if she wasn’t Jeno’s”

The odd look you give him almost makes him smile. “Do you have something against Miwoo?”

“She’s just not my type” He’s honest with you, shrugging his shoulders as he fiddles with the rings on his fingers. He can see that you don’t believe him, which doesn’t make sense to him at all. “I’ve never been interested in her”

“Okay, yeah, sure” You snort as you cuddle into his pillow. His brows furrow at that. That’s his favourite pillow. He watches your eyes close, allowing the sleepiness to take over as you mutter your final words. “Then who is your type? Jeno?”

Jaemin rolls his eyes at your joke, a joke he’s heard too many times from his friends and others that are far too interested in his business. A soft smile spreads across his face, unable to conceal his little chuckle as he reaches across to grab his blanket to cover you, making sure you’re comfortable but his hand freezes mid air.

He sees the jewellery sitting on top of the bedside table, the ring that he has yet to get rid of and he quickly recoils his hand from your sleeping form, almost as if he scorched himself when touching you. Jaemin sighs, tongue prodding at his inner cheek while pushing himself up from the bed, sock covered feet padding across wooden floorboards, making his way over to his desk.

He plonks himself down in his chair, running his fingers through his hair and rubbing at his neck as his eyes flicker between you and the ring. He feels guilty almost for having a girl in his bed while having the jewellery of his ex-girlfriend on his bedside table. He shouldn’t feel guilty. He has no reason to be guilty.

Jaemin’s quick to push all feelings to the back of his mind as he moves around in his chair to get comfy and closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around his middle and kicking his feet up on his desk, careful not to knock anything over as he allows sleep to take over. You’ll be gone by morning.

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓]

Turns out, Jaemin likes your presence. He found you really chilled out and easy to talk to you, funny too. He’s surprised he never interacted with you like this before, but his excuse was that he was a little too preoccupied with his own life and his own girlfriend to even make new friends or get to know you, plus he always found that introduction stage a little awkward so he avoided it at all costs. It’s fair to say he regretted it.

When you woke up in his bed Sunday morning, hungover and confused, he ended up not minding that you didn’t leave straight away. Talking to sober you was pleasant even though he could see on your face that you were embarrassed from the actions the night before, but he was nice enough to tell you that everything was fine and he even let you keep his shirt that he had given you after the whole Eric disaster.

He wished he didn’t… he liked that shirt.

He even walked you home that day, something that shocked him completely after it happened, but realistically he wanted to go to Dreamies Cafe to get himself a coffee which he did. Americano. Black. His favourite.

Of course, when he got back home, Yangyang and Donghyuck cornered him, bombarding him with all sorts of questions that got under his skin while Renjun, Shotaro and Jeno sat back and watched the whole thing unfold with smirks on their faces. Jaemin was pissed off and he did his best to ignore them all when he trudged upstairs, throwing up his middle finger over his shoulder as the boys shouted provocative things behind his back.

• • •

Truthfully… Jaemin hasn’t really thought about you since Sunday morning. He continued on with his day, staying inside his room, fixing small imperfections on photoshop for his photos and listening to music. He liked being in his own little world without anyone to bother him, it’s how he prefers it. It’s what he always wants.

But here he is, on Monday morning, at college, sitting under the sun with the boys who bicker about something so stupid that Jaemin doesn’t even bother taking part in, deciding to turn on his camera and flick through the pictures he had captured over the past few days, teeth snagging at his bottom lip, deep in thought about which one he would like to work with next.

He doesn’t take notice of the squeals around him, blocking out the sounds of people greeting each other, not even taking notice of the way the grass rustles opposite him, meaning someone had sat down to take a place beneath the shade. Jaemin’s brows scrunch together in concentration as he studies a photo he took of Renjun painting earlier, happy at how natural and real it looked and he was about to zoom in to see if there was any minor details that needed fixing, but he couldn’t shake of the feeling that someone was looking at him. He hated it.

Jaemin raises his head, ready to snap at Yangyang or Donghyuck who he assumed was staring at him but his words die down in the back of his throat as his eyes lock with yours. Oh, you’re here. His eyes cast downwards to take in your appearance, almost snorting as he fights back the urge to comment on how you’re both wearing similar coloured hoodies: mint green.

He makes eye contact with you, sending you a warm smile in a way to silently greet you and he’s somewhat surprised you did it back, expecting you to shy away from having been embarrassed at what happened two nights ago. He senses you want to say something to him and he anticipates your words but you seem to forget about it when Yangyang flips around beside you, stretching out his legs across the grass and resting his head comfortably in your lap.

He definitely likes you. Jaemin pulls his gaze away from you to pull his sketchbook out of his bag as the group engage in a conversation, flipping through the full pages, scanning over his previous works before looking back at his camera. His teeth chew at his bottom lip as he studies the photos, not even noticing the way you’re looking at him now until he hears you speak, something about his project that had his head snapping up.

He looks at you confused, brows pulled together until you mention what project you were talking about. Jaemin makes a noise, flipping the pages in his sketchbook until he reaches the most recent one of Jeno before he turns it around, making sure the sketchbook was upright for you and handing it over so nonchalantly.

Jeno’s looking at him in shock, completely baffled at what Jaemin had just done. Jaemin briefly meets his eyes and Jeno gives him a look to which Jaemin ignores, moving his attention back to you, watching how your mouth opens in awe at the photo, fingers lightly tracing over Jeno’s features.

Something stirs in the pit of Jaemin’s belly when he sees the way you’re admiring his work, warmth immediately creeping up his neck. He doesn’t show anyone his photography sketchbook, being made for his eyes and his eyes only. He’s only ever shown Jeno the full book, and maybe he’s shown the others a page or two that's dedicated to them, but he doesn’t just give the sketchbook to them… no, he’s never done that.

You hand the sketchbook back over with an unreadable expression and Jaemin can’t help but yearn for your approval for some reason, wanting to hear what you think about his finish project, wanting you to-

“These are really good” You answer the questions that float around his head, making him wonder if he even said a few of them out loud. A smile slowly creeps onto his face without him fully realising it, shoving the sketchbook back into his bag as the warmth crawls even higher up his neck. “Do you always put your works in your sketchbook?”

“Not always” Jaemin tells you with a shake of his head, putting his camera carefully back into its bag. “I just put the ones I really like in there. Some are memories and some are just for aesthetic purposes… I just made a copy of the Jeno photograph because I liked it”

“That’s because I’m his favourite model” Jeno pipes up, joining in on the conversation, throwing his arm around Jaemin’s shoulder as he settles beside him. Jaemin rolls his eyes and nudges him harshly in the side with his elbow, making Jeno grunt at the brute force as he rubs the painful area. Miwoo is quick to jump in, jokingly but violently cursing Jaemin out for hurting her boyfriend but Jaemin blanks it out, reaching over to grab a bag of candy out of Donghyuck’s pile of snacks he bought.

Jaemin unwraps one for himself, throwing the treat inside his mouth with ease. He sees you still looking at him, so he offers you one, outstretching his arm in your direction and waiting for you to take one which you eventually do with a smile, thankful.

Donghyuck sees this and immediately jumps into action, cursing loudly as he snatches the bag from Jaemin’s grasp, sucking air between his teeth as he whacks the back of Jaemin’s head. He settles back down in his spot with a scowl while Jaemin glares at him for daring to hit him. 

“Let’s do something after your shift ends” Jaemin hears Miwoo tell Haru and he finally focuses on the conversation despite staring down at his hands, spinning the rings on his fingers as he pretends not to listen. “We can just go for food? I’m in the mood for some grease”

“Sure” Haru nods. “That new hamburger place near work opened up a few days ago, we can go there”

“Oh! That place is amazing!” Shotaro beams excitedly and this is what makes Jaemin’s head snap up, raising to look over at Shotaro in confusion. Shotaro doesn’t go anywhere without the boys, especially without Renjun who Jaemin knows had taken him under his wing when they all first became friends. Jaemin’s eyes dart between Renjun and Shotaro, finding amusement in the way his face gets redder with the staring. “It’s where I went after I lost my virginity… we were hungry and that was the nearest place”

Jaemin hears you hum, almost cooing. “Well, that’s sweet”

The topic of who Shotaro lost his virginity comes to light, Donghyuck and Yangyang’s faces dramatically drop, coming to realise that their friend didn’t spill full details about his steamy night, betrayal and offend written over their faces. Yangyang’s sits up abruptly from your lap and the face he pulls causes you to smack your hand against your mouth to conceal a laugh that threatens to escape, the sound making Jaemin look at you. 

He finds your expression adorable, especially with the way you’re smiling behind your hand with your cheeks puffed out. When you meet his eyes briefly, the corner of his lips twitch upwards in amusement before averting his attention elsewhere, listening to Shotaro explain to everyone that it was Yeji who took his virginity. 

Jaemin perks up at that, familiar with who Yeji was but not exactly finding it surprising that they slept together. They’re both attractive people, they’re in the same dance major and go to the same dance studio together. Yeji’s his style. Jaemin thinks to himself, almost feeling quite proud of Shotaro for coming out of his shell and sleeping with the girl he knows he’s had a crush on for a while.

Jaemin zones out of the conversation once again, not interested in anything as he rests back against his palms, neck craning as he looks up at the blue sky with no cloud in sight, just the sun, bright and warm.

A slight smile spreads across his lips, tilting his head to the side as his fingers itch for his camera. This would make a good picture.

• • •

“Fuck, you’re so fucking—mmmph, fuck, harder!! OH MY G—JENO” Miwoo’s moans echo throughout the top floor, blending in with the sounds of Jeno’s headboard banging against the walls. Jaemin sighs heavily, tongue poking at his cheek in annoyance as he turns his music up as loud as it could possibly go, trying to block out his friend railing his girlfriend next door.

It doesn’t work. He can still hear them… he’s sure that they even got louder. Jaemin huffs as he searches around for his headphones, deciding those could be his lucky escape but his searching comes to a stop when he realises that Jeno had borrowed them recently. 

Jaemin is seriously going to lose it. 

He thought he would’ve had the house to himself tonight, deciding not to go with the others for lunch, wanting some peace and quiet while he edited but when he heard the two couples come home a lot earlier than planned, he knew he wasn’t going to get that peace and quiet he truly wanted. 

Jaemin wouldn’t hear Haru and Renjun that well, but he knew what they were doing inside Renjun’s room. They wasn’t slick and Jaemin’s not dumb.

He contemplates on leaving the house and hanging out with Yangyang and Donghyuck who he knows are together spying on Shotaro’s date with Yeji… but he immediately grimaces at the thought, knowing that he’d end up hating it and would probably fight the duo for their stupidity.

But then, he’s reminded of you.

Jaemin knows you stayed home too, thanks to Miwoo continuously complaining about it earlier in the groupchat that he’s recently been added too (completely unwanted, it was Jeno’s idea). He doesn’t really want to leave his room and hang out with you, and he doesn’t mean that in a horrible way… it’s just that he doesn’t know you that well, despite you already sleeping in his room drunk out of your mind… but you are his only option right now, and maybe he might even like it. 

It dawns on him that he doesn’t have your number and there’s no way in hell he’s going to message the groupchat to get to you. So instead, he grabs his phone from the side where it has been laying to charge and pulls up his and Yangyang’s previous messages, his thumbs rapidly tapping against the screen.

jaemin: give me ur friends number

Jaemin’s eyes squint at the message.

jaemin: please

yangyang: whttttt????

jaemin: ur friend. yn. give me her number. 

yangyang: why do u want her number yangyang: do u want to see a photo of our baby shotaro on a date థ౪థ

jaemin: what the fuck is that

[yangyang sent a photo] yangyang: look at our baby [yangyang sent a photo] yangyang: this is me and hyuck hiding while watching the babies

Jaemin can feel himself get frustrated at Yangyang’s dumb responses and the sounds Miwoo makes next door fuels the fire even more, his jaw clenching in anger as he hears Jeno’s filthy words. He wants to fucking vomit.

jaemin: yang jaemin: her number jaemin: now.

yangyang: damn daddy thats hot yangyang: that wasn’t me that was hyuck yangyang: i’ll send it yangyang: don't scare her off u freak

Jaemin doesn’t even type a thank you as your contact info is sent over, immediately backing out of his chat with Yangyang to save your details. He’s tempted to call you, to make this whole ordeal faster but he decides against it, tapping the little message icon and writing out his first message.

jaemin: is this yn???

you: who is this?

jaemin: its na jaemin [read 19:27]

He blinks. He’s been left on read… what the actual fuck? Jaemin runs his fingers through his hair frustratingly, rubbing the back of his neck with a groan. Was this even you? Did Yangyang give him the wrong number to mess with him? Jaemin could feel himself getting angrier as his thumbs punched against the screen.

jaemin: hello????

you: yeah its yn

He lets out a sigh of relief.

jaemin: ok thank god i thought yangyang gave me the wrong number jaemin: can i come over

you: wht you: what***

jaemin: can i come over [read 19:32]

He’s left on read again. He doesn’t understand why you keep doing this and that fact that he can still hear Miwoo and Jeno having sex in the next room is making him even more frustrated than he already is. He needs to get out of here, he needs to leave now.

jaemin: haru miwoo & the boys got back early from the restaurant and are loud as fuck jaemin: why do they fuck so much??? jaemin: i need to get out of here asap before i lose my shit. u are my only option

Jaemin purses his lips together, wondering if the last text he’s typing out will allow him to come over.

jaemin: plus u still have my shirt

you: uh sure you: just walk straight in when u get here you: the passcode to the door is 666420

jaemin: ….

you: it was haru’s idea

• • •

“Thank you for letting me come over” Jaemin genuinely thanks you as he helps clean up the mess and repackage the leftover food he had brought over into small containers, the two of you full from the amount of food you consumed. He was grateful you let him come over to be free from the others, so grateful that he had brought over fried chicken for you both to devour on as a thank you.

It was awkward at first, sitting in silence, eating chicken and ramen (that he saw you were already eating when he came over and decided to share). But conversations started to flow, small questions being asked here and there with blunt answers that turned into long answers. It was obvious that you were starting to get comfortable with him and truthfully, he was getting slowly comfortable with you, despite keeping his answers short and simple most of the time.

Jaemin pours soda into two separate cups once you both finish cleaning up, joining each other back at the kitchen island. He slides one over to you carefully. “I didn’t really want to bother you, but I was serious when I said that you were my only option…”

“It’s fine” You dismiss him with a smile and a shrug of your shoulders. “It was getting pretty boring by myself here anyway…”

“I actually didn’t expect them to come back to the house. I know that they usually end up back here whenever they go out somewhere” Jaemin doesn’t understand why he’s explaining himself, but he takes a quick sip out of his drink anyways. “I don’t think Renjun or Jeno remembered that I was still home… they were too interested in getting their ends wet to worry about their friend who was getting scarred in the room next to them”

Jaemin's words are laced with anger and annoyance, thinking about how he’s going to rip the shit into them tomorrow but he’s surprised when he hears you try and cover your laugh, turning to look over at you with your hand over your mouth. He finds your reaction amusing, but he takes a sip of his drink to hide that.

“Play your music loud or invest in some earphones” You tell him. “They work wonders for me when the boys stay the night”

Jaemin snorts at that. “No earphones or music can cancel out the disgusting noises I heard from them tonight” His face scrunches in pure disgust, shivering as he recalls what happened and this is when you fail to hold back your laughter. His hand immediately shoots out in alarm to steady you when you almost tip too far back in your seat, hand pressed flat against the warmth of your back, letting out a small chuckle at your laughter. 

He notices the cup in your hand threatening to spill over and he takes it from you before it causes any accidents, placing it down on the island as you quickly wipe away your tears.

“It’s hilarious because I know exactly what you mean. They’re loud for no reason… I’m genuinely starting to think that they try to compete against each other to see who can be the loudest sometimes”

“That wouldn’t surprise me” Jaemin admits, removing his hand from your back to run his fingers through his hair, slouching back against the seat. His eyes flicker between you and the little polaroid pictures that's stuck against the refrigerator with silly magnets, staring at the one of you and Yangyang. “You know, this is going to sound weird, but I thought you and Yangyang were dating… obviously I found out that wasn’t true when you stayed the night with me and they all teased you about it”

He sees you cringe as memories of that night fill your head. “Yeah, no. We’re not dating. A lot of people actually think that too, especially when the girls that sleep with him come up to me to tell me that my ‘boyfriend’ had slept with them…” You look at him this time. “What gave you the impression that we were together?”

Are you dumb? Jaemin thinks to himself incredulously, but he shrugs his shoulders. “He talks about you a lot. Donghyuck does too but I know he’s interested in that Aisha girl from his class… Plus, during the party, when I came downstairs to get my food, I briefly saw you sat on Yangyang’s lap”

“Oh, that’s nothing” His eyes squint at that. Is it? “We do that all the time, it’s normal. I’ve sat on Donghyuck and Shotaro’s laps before, it means nothing”

Jaemin quirks a brow. “You do know that Yangyang wants to sleep with you, right?”

“Yeah” You nod your head. “It’s not going to happen and he knows that but that doesn’t stop him from teasing or even making jokes about it… Haru is the one that shuts it down whenever it gets too much”

His lips press together in deep thought. “Would it be different if he wanted to date you?”

“No” He blinks at the immediate response, not expecting that quick of an answer and not exactly expecting you to say ‘no’. “I just… I’m not interested in dating or being in a serious relationship, you know? I’m not really ready to get into a relationship with anyone… the last relationship I had was actually with Eric and that didn’t exactly turn out great on my end”

He can’t help but ask, “What happened between you both? I could tell something was off during the party… you looked uncomfortable”

“It’s a long story. Maybe another time, okay?” Your answer was short and simple, straight to the point which Jaemin understood completely. He nods his head, respecting your decision in keeping private about your past relationship, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it. It must’ve ended badly for you to respond like that, Jaemin thinks as he chews on the inner skin of his cheek. He knows who Eric is… Of course he knows who Eric is. Eric used to be one of Jeno’s closest friends, always hanging out at the house, always partying with Jeno whenever they possibly could. 

Eric was, admittedly, Jeno’s partner in crime. They did everything together that included parties, drugs and girls. While Jaemin was the angel on Jeno’s shoulder, Eric was the devil. Jaemin never got jealous over Eric, he had no reason to. They both shared the same best friend but Jaemin means something different to Jeno than what Eric did.

Besides, Eric hasn’t hung out with Jeno in three months which Jaemin now realises it’s because of you. Whatever happened during the breakup between you and Eric caused Jeno to completely cut off ties with the latter, no longer involving himself in his business anymore, not even giving a nod of acknowledgment when they pass by each other in college or at a party.

You’re quiet now, which Jaemin starts to notice after a few minutes of silence and he begins to somewhat feel a little bad for bringing your past relationship up in conversation. He wants to tell you that he knows exactly what you’re going through, having been in a serious relationship himself, but a sickly feeling churns in his stomach when he’s reminded of his ex-girlfriend, and he instantly refuses to even bring light to that topic. 

“Why don’t you—wait, no. How come you won’t sleep with Yangyang if all he wants is just sex?” He brings up the Yangyang subject again, not wanting to stray too far from the conversation due to his genuine curiosity and nosiness. The way you turn your head towards him and give him a confused look allows him to continue. “You say you don’t want a relationship with anyone because you’re not ready, which is fine, but all Yangyang wants to do is have sex with you, right? How come you’re against having sex with him if that’s just all it is?”

“Oh” You blink, awkwardly pushing your hair behind your ears. “I, uh, I haven’t had sex in, like, three months and during that time period I’ve been telling the girls that I don’t want to really hook-up with anyone and I guess I would feel kind of embarrassed if I ended up sleeping with someone after trying to convince them that I don’t need anyone and that I’m not interested”

“Convince?” He repeats what you said, raising his brow as he gives you a look. “So… you do want to have sex?”

“I don’t know?” Jaemin gives the most blank look at your answer, not impressed at all and when he hears you groan, he knows you’re about to explain yourself. You duck your head, avoiding his gaze which he finds amusing. “Look, I do miss it. Of course I miss having sex, who wouldn’t? I miss the feeling of someone's hands touching my body. I miss the feeling of being kissed. I miss the feeling of when I’m about to…you get what I mean, right?” Jaemin raises a brow at that. “The thing is, I’m stuck. I’m not ready to date anybody and I definitely don’t want to sleep with my friends either, it’ll make things weird”

Jaemin’s quiet as he takes in your words. He understands, he really does, but he can’t stop the thoughts that circle through his head. Thoughts that don’t even make sense, thoughts that make a lot of sense. Maybe some thoughts shouldn’t even be said aloud but he can feel the question on the tip of his tongue.

When you get up from the kitchen island to busy yourself by washing your glass, Jaemin’s eyes follow your movements before his own chair scrapes across the floorboards as he stands, slowly following you. Why is he following you? What is he doing? He wants to sit back down, to drop this conversation but he can’t. 

“What if you were able to sleep with someone without having to worry about getting into a relationship or ruining a friendship?” What the fuck is he doing. 

“Huh?”

Jaemin comes to stand beside you, casually leaning his elbows on the counter as he looks at you. “What I mean is that if you could have sex and do all that stuff that you claim to miss so much without to having to actually get into a relationship or ruin a friendship, would you do it?”

“If you’re talking about one-night stands, I don’t do them” You inform him, immediately shutting that idea down. “I’m not going to sleep with some random guy”

A small smile seeps onto his lips. “I’m not talking about one-night stands” He pauses for a moment, tongue poking at his cheek as he thinks about the next words to say, trying to give hints, trying to make you figure out what his absurd thoughts are. He doesn’t want to say it himself. “What if someone you know was willing to help you out with all that… stuff?”

“Like a friend? A friend with benefits?” Your brows knit together in confusion. You frown. “But I said—”

“But that said friend would also be down for it too” He cuts you off before you can continue, fingers drumming against the counter top. “As in, he doesn’t want a relationship out of it, he just wants the same stuff that you want”

“No, I can’t have sex with my friends” You tell him, shaking your head. He mentally facepalms himself, slowly losing his patience with you even though he knows he’s not exactly helping you get the hint. Why is he even doing this in the first place? “I’ve been friends with those guys for too long and I don’t want to risk anything… Donghyuck and Yangyang—”

“I wasn’t talking about them”

The way your eyes almost bulge out of your skull is comical to him. “SHOTARO?! No way!! I couldn’t!! He’s crushing hard on Yeji right now and—”

Jaemin’s tired now. “Not him either”

You frown again. “...Jeno and Renjun are dating my best frie—”

“I’m talking about me” Dumbass. Absolute dumbass. Jaemin sees you struggle to form a sentence, mouth opening and closing like a fish, eyes wide with shock. He sighs, resting his chin on the palm of his hand to look up at all, staring back so calm and collected despite his brain mentally cursing at him. “You can do all that stuff you miss with me. We just met so I’m not some random guy and we haven’t been around each other that much to form a friendship so there’s nothing to ruin, and besides, as much as I hate to bring it up and admit to it, I’m also in the same position as you. My own relationship ended a few months back and I’m really not ready for any sort of relationship with anyone… but I miss the sex too”

You’re silent and it annoys Jaemin. He wants to know what’s going on inside your mind, he wants to know what you’re thinking, especially with your brows pulling together every so often in deep thought. But he waits patiently, understanding that saying what he did so suddenly is probably too much to handle. 

He can’t even believe what just came out of his mouth, even though everything he said is the truth. He does miss sex and no way in hell does he miss a relationship. He has needs, just like everyone else, and he has a lot of pent up frustration. General frustration with life? Definitely. Sexual frustration? Most definitely!

Jaemin fiddles with the rings on his fingers as you take your time to gather your thoughts and the second he sees you start to relax at the idea, something soars in the pit of his stomach. A gentle smile dances across his lips, adjusting his glasses that begin to slip down his nose and you slowly begin to nod, now completely opening up to the idea and Jaemin feels giddy… he feels excited. Is he excited about starting a friends with benefits relationship? Sure. Is he excited about finally being able to get laid after so long? Extremely, and he hopes you are too.

Jaemin’s hands reach out towards you slowly, making sure that you are completely okay with him touching you and once you give him the go ahead with a simple nod, his fingertips are grazing over the skin of your arms. Your skin feels soft beneath the pads of his fingers and the goosebumps that rise makes him fight the urge to grin. 

“So…” Jaemin speaks up first, licking his lips as his eyes flicker to your own. He swallows. “Can I kiss you?”

He can see how surprised you are at his sudden question. Even he is surprised, but as always, he keeps a straight face. He’s good at that, keeping straight faces and remaining stoic, not allowing anyone to see his true feelings and emotions. It’s a talent, he thinks, but is it a good one or a bad one?

Embarrassing to admit, but Jaemin really wants to feel a pair of lips against his again. If he can kiss without thinking of her. 

Jaemin hides the grimace as his ex-girlfriend flashes through his mind. Her laughter, her voice, her smile… It all rolls into one and Jaemin’s about to take a step back, to drop his grip from your arm and tell you that this was a mistake, that he doesn’t want to do this anymore, that’s he’s not ready for anything until—

“Okay”

Hearing your approval, Jaemin ducks his head down, turning at an angle to push his lips to yours with ease. It’s soft, gentle and a little hesitant. You taste like fried chicken. Not something Jaemin would like to taste during a kiss but he knows he probably tastes the same, so there’s no need to complain. He’s shocked when he feels your fingers curl around the front of his shirt, slightly tugging him closer to you but you both break apart for air.

He’s slow to open his eyes, maybe even a little anxious to do so in case he sees her. He always sees her. But once his eyes are fully open, he sees you. Just you. Jaemin’s heart feels heavy in his chest as he looks at you, your eyes also beginning to open, your chest raising up and down at a quick pace from breathing so heavily.

The way his chest tightens and how his heart feels like it’s sliding painfully down to the pit of his stomach makes him feel a little bit emotional when he doesn’t see her face on yours. He wants to reach out, to touch your face, to see if this was real but he knew it was. 

Jaemin swallows harshly. He kissed girls before after his breakup, going through a bad period of time where he partied until the crack of dawn, drunk until he couldn’t no more, took special pills to make him numbed out and tried to sleep with women to forget all about his ex-girlfriend, but that’s all he could see. No matter how hard he tried to forget and no matter how hard he tried to sleep with other people, she always lingered in his mind. He saw her face on every single woman, taunting him, smirking at him. 

But here with you, after kissing you, he doesn’t see her.

Her. Eunbin. She’s gone. 

But will it be for good? Jaemin doesn’t want to think about it too much, he refuses too. He wants to enjoy this moment.

And with that, he mirrors the smile that spreads across your face, a wave of relief washing over him as his hands reach out to cup your ass to lift you up, placing down you on the kitchen counter behind you before moulding his lips with yours, the thrilling rush that you give him making his body buzz.

He could get used to this.

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒]

Jaemin found it insane how quickly he felt comfortable with you. He’s aware that it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours of having this friends with benefits relationship with you but he can’t help but feel the way he does… and it’s because he can’t see Eunbin. 

Your touch and your lips so far overcrowd his mind with thoughts and feelings that doesn’t even involve his ex-girlfriend, something that he’s been struggling with for months and months on end, constantly being unable to look or to even think about another girl without seeing Eunbin.

There’s been so many failed attempts with girls Jaemin can’t even remember the name of only because he was unable to take his mind off of—

It doesn’t even matter. It’s different now. Everything seems… different, in a good way… in a really good way considering Jaemin is laying on top of you in his bed, lips attached to your jaw, sucking and nipping at your skin.

He invited you over after both of your classes ended, knowing that the boys wouldn’t be home until later on after Donghyuck and Yangyang both got tricked into treating the others for lunch. They won’t be back for two hours… two hours of just you and him, in his bed, doing whatever you both wanted to do. It was exhilarating and he could feel himself get excited, boner pressing against you, desperate for contact.

But it ends before it can even begin. 

“Okay, wait” He hears you mumble breathlessly, your palms heavy against his chest as he feels you push him back. He leans his weight onto his knees to give you some space and some air, watching as your chest rises up and down rapidly. “Stop for a second”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jaemin asks you, his tongue poking out from behind his lips, getting a brief taste of the lip balm you’re wearing, making his tastebuds buzz. He can’t help but feel alarmed at the sudden order to stop, ducking his head downwards to scan your face for any signs of regrets or hesitations, making himself wonder if he’s come on too strong or has done something completely wrong. It’s been a while, he thinks, chewing at the inner skin of his cheek. He takes your face into his hand to grab your attention when you take too long to answer. “Y/N?”

“I’m fine, it’s just…” The pause in your words make his body tense. “I think we should probably talk about some stuff before we dive deep into this friends with benefits type of thing… you know?” Oh. Jaemin nods his head in agreement, rolling himself off your body and shifting comfortably beside you, pushing his hair out of his face.

He leans up on his elbow, looking down at you with a curious expression, wanting to know what’s going through your head. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Rules? Maybe?” The suggestion almost makes him snort but he stops himself when he sees how nervous you actually are. “I think we need some rules”

“Rules…” He repeats, nodding his head slowly. “What kind of rules?”

He finds it funny the way you avoid his eyes when you raise one finger. “Rule one: No couple stuff. We can’t talk about the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends… we can’t take each other out on dates or buy each other gifts. We can’t act like couples do”

“Okay” Jaemin hums, agreeing completely. “But what about hanging out?” Your eyes dart to him this time and Jaemin smiles. “What I mean is, what if I want to hang out with you, grab a bite to eat, go to a party together… etcetera etcetera”

You purse your lips in deep thought. “Sure, that’s fine. As long as we don’t label it as a date or anything… it should be fine”

“Cool”

“Rule two: No telling anyone about what’s going on, especially our friends… they’ll make a big deal out of it. Let’s keep it on the downlow from them for a while, okay? Let’s not make it public” Jaemin isn’t too sure about that one as he slowly nods, not fully understanding why he couldn’t tell Jeno that he was sleeping with you. He understood not telling Yangyang, but why not Jeno? He tells Jeno everything. Jaemin didn’t like rule two. “And that means we’re not exclusive fuck buddies, if that’s what's going through your head… you can still fuck whoever you want, whenever you want”

His attention immediately snaps towards you as soon as those words leave your lips, meeting your eyes with furrowed brows. “I don’t want to fuck anyone else. I just want to fuck you”

The way you stare at him so shocked and speechless makes Jaemin think he’s said something wrong. It’s the truth, he internally pouts, why would he want to sleep with anyone else? He doesn’t see her when he’s with you. You’re the successful attempt at getting Eunbin out of his mind for good… why would he need to seek out someone else for that?

The corner of your lips shyly lifts at his words. “Cool”

Jaemin smiles and this time, he reaches for your hand to take ahold of your ring finger, holding it up to join the others to make a three. “Rule three: No feelings, no falling in love and no getting jealous”

You scoff at that, which makes Jaemin crack another smile. “Obviously… although, that might be a little hard for you…” Now he’s confused, scrunching his brows together as you wink and blow a kiss his way. “I’m quite the catch”

Oh. Jaemin blinks. That was kinda funny. He grins, telling you to playfully shut up with a quick nudge to your shoulder that has you giggling before your attention resumes on your three fingers. He watches your brows pull together in deep thought, tongue peaking out from beneath your lips and he shakes his head. Cute. 

“Does that sound okay to you?”

Jaemin forces himself back to reality. “What?”

“For rule four: we talk to each other… we tell each other everything, every problem, every concern… full honestly at all times, okay?”

“Sounds cool with me” Jaemin nods as he smiles down at you and he’s immediately surprised as you crane your neck upwards to reach his lips, kissing him so tenderly that it makes his chest hurt. He chases your lips when you pull away a little too fast, not wanting to part any time soon but you’re shaking your head rapidly, holding him at arm's length to prevent him from getting closer. 

Lips still puckered awaiting for kiss, he’s left wondering why you’re quick to move away from him until he hears the clutter of noises downstairs, rolling his eyes in annoyance when he realises the others are home a little too early for his liking. His tongue pokes at his cheek in frustration as he slides off his bed, bare feet padding across the wooden floorboards towards his bedroom door which he cracks open, shoving his head between the opening to see if the boys are making their way up the stairs.

Coast is clear, Jaemin thinks. He closes the door, locking it for extra privacy, easily knowing that if any of them come upstairs they’ll try and see what he’s doing first, just to bother him. He lays back down beside you, your quiet laughter filling his ears as he scoots in closer, unable to resist the urge to reach out for you.

The way you feel beneath his fingertips is exhilarating, the shivers that run down his spine from just a simple touch of your lips shoots straight to his cock. You, admittedly, look fucking perfect laying here beside him, staring at him with so much want and need, something he hasn’t seen for a very long time and it makes him excited, especially when he catches you presses your thighs together. 

His middle finger pushes down on your lip and he goes to pull back, to whisper a small apology if he hurt you but you open your mouth voluntarily, sucking his finger into your warmth, tongue swirling around his digit as if it was his cock. 

Oh god. Jaemin struggles to gulp, his eyes widening in shock before he lets out a dark chuckle, his head swarming with filthy scenarios as he presses his middle finger down harder on your tongue, even adding his index finger into the mix and thrusting the two inside your mouth, heavily breathing at the way you’re sucking him so nicely. 

You’re affecting him so badly that it’s starting to scare him, but he can’t seem to stop, completely captivated by you and only you. Jaemin thinks about how badly he wants to fuck you right now, about how he wants to beneath him, to watch your face as he makes you cum for the first time but he doesn’t want to rush… there’s no point in rushing… Jaemin likes taking it slow.

So, he gently removes his wet fingers from your mouth, keeping his eyes locked on yours as his hand trails down your body, stopping just above the sliver of skin that shows beneath your belly button, your skin hot to touch but he doesn’t care once his hand slips under the waistband of your shorts.

Your gasping hits his ears and he fills with cockiness and pride, a finger stroking your folds all while he leans up on his elbow to get closer, smiling down at you teasingly with his head tilting to the side.

“You’re gonna have to be quiet… you know the boys are home” Jaemin whispers to you, his middle finger rubs up and down your slit, gathering your arousal which makes him swell with pride again. He waits for you to say something, anything, but when you don’t, his eyebrow raises slyly. “Unless, you want them to hear you?”

“No” You shake your head. “I can be quiet”

“Yeah?” He mumbles, holding your gaze once you finally meet his eyes. Jaemin bites back a groan as he sinks two fingers into your pussy and you immediately clamp around him, a gasp leaving your lips and head flinging back against the pillows. He grins at the satisfying reaction, leaning even closer to you. “You sure, baby?”

Jaemin internally panics at the affectionate name that slips all too naturally from his lips, almost reeling back away from you to scold himself, but your reaction isn’t what he expected. He was expecting disgust, to be hit, to be reminded about the rules and immediately told to stop this situationship before it even began… but you look shy. You’re refusing to meet his eyes, you’re looking anywhere but him. You like it. Jaemin thinks, calming himself down from the panic rising in his chest. You like it. Does that mean rule one broke already?

“You’re annoying” Your voice snapping at him breaks him out of his thoughts. You’re trying to be irritated with him, it seems, but he knows it’s not working by how you react to his thumb rubbing circles on your clit, trying your hardest not to make any noises which now Jaemin desperately wants to hear. 

“That’s not nice to say to someone who has their fingers inside your pussy right now” Jaemin tuts at you, his smirk returning as he forgets all about his problems, pressing his fingers against your spongy walls as he allows himself to say the words freely. “Am I making you feel good, baby?”

• • •

Jaemin’s going to lose his mind in the matter of ten seconds and Yangyang or Donghyuck are going to be his first target. Maybe even go after Jeno for putting him in this position in the first place.

After making you a mess on his fingers, Jaemin was expecting to move onto something… more. You seemed up for it to, clinging to him so desperately and moving your hips against his that almost made him fuck you right then and there… if it wasn’t for Jeno interrupting the first time. 

Jeno knocked on the door which ruined the mood immediately. You obviously didn’t want to fuck him anymore, which Jaemin respected completely and didn’t pressure you into continuing as he decided to speak to Jeno, who repeatedly knocked the door to get Jaemin’s attention. Jeno bought him some supplies from an art store downtown. He handed a bag filled with film for his camera, a new sketchbook for his photographs and a cheap polaroid camera. Jaemin was thankful, he’s always thankful, but his thankfulness slipped away when Jaemin realised what art store Jeno visited. Strike one. 

Jeno didn’t leave after giving Jaemin his gifts, deciding to explain why he got them for him, knowing that Jaemin doesn’t like going to that art store anymore because of Eunbin. Eunbin used to work there. Jaemin tries to forget it, Jeno reminds him. Strike two.

Jeno still didn’t leave. Instead, he asked for Jaemin’s camera. Jeno is the only one that allowed to touch his precious camera, which Jaemin didn’t mind, but finding out Jeno wanted to use it to start up an onlyfans… again… he was over this conversation. Strike three. 

Jeno finally left. But no, that wasn’t the end of it, how could it be? With Jaemin’s luck? Jaemin thought he was free, that he could spend some time with you, maybe even ask if you wanted to finish the TV Show that you both started together when you first met. Jaemin wanted to talk more, to find out more things about you, to talk to you about stuff, stuff that involved you. But you found the ring. That stupid ring. You wanted to talk about the ring. He couldn’t. He won’t. Strike four.

Jaemin thought he’d catch a break after the fourth strike. But things continued to happen. Things that were completely out of his control. Well… He did shove his hand down your panties and make you cum, fully knowing that you weren’t going to be as quiet as you said you would be. And, unfortunately, that resulted in Jeno hearing everything and outing the both of you on a groupchat with the others which, by the way, Jaemin got involuntarily added into. 

So, that’s now brought him here, sat on his bed with the most expressionless expression on his face, fighting back the urge to attack everyone that’s entered his personal space. His safe space.

His eyes flicker to Donghyuck who’s sprawling across his bedroom floor, babbling some bullshit that Jaemin can’t fully understand, his words too jumbled and fast for him to make out any sentences. 

Looking at Yangyang, Jaemin’s teeth grind together in annoyance at his screams, watching as Yangyang pulls at his hair in disbelief as he sees you sitting on the bed. Yangyang falls to his knees dramatically, to which Jaemin scoffs at, and Yangyang crawls over to you, shoving his head into your thighs as he complains: ‘Why Jaemin?’ ‘What did he do to you?’ ‘How can he do this?’ ‘You’re corrupted’ ‘My poor girl’. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jaemin mumbles under his breath, brows pulling together in confusion despite the twinge of anger he feels in his gut. But that soon slips away when he sees Yangyang crumble to the floor when you abruptly leap off of the bed, a screech ripping from the back of your throat as you launch yourself at Jeno who makes a joke about your lack of quietness. 

Jaemin’s lips curl into an amused smile as he sees your dainty hands wrap around Jeno’s neck, attempting to strangle the life out of him and threatening him if he speaks another word but Jeno doesn’t even budge from his spot despite you trying to shove him backwards by his neck. A smirk remains on Jeno’s face, his arms slipping around your waist and tugging you in close for a hug regardless of your feeble attempts at trying to hurt him.

Renjun stands at the side, recording the events on his phone with a grin and Shotaro cowers behind him with wide and frightened eyes, watching the scenes unfold and before Jaemin can even attempt to kick them all out of his room, Miwoo and Haru come bursting through the door, eager to find out exactly what was going on and almost knocking his computer off of his desk when they all try to fit into his room. 

Strike five. Jaemin lost it

• • •

“Morning” Jeno greets Jaemin one morning as he emerges from his bedroom, dragging his sock covered feet across the floorboards as he shuffles into the kitchen, hair messy and unkempt from twisting and turning around in bed during his sleep, eyes puffy and swollen, unable to see anything but fuzzy outlines and shapes. A deep grunt rumbles from Jaemin’s chest, too tired to give a verbal answer as he makes himself a cup of coffee, needing the caffeine to wake him up fully.

Jeno watches him from the kitchen island, one hand scrolling through his phone while the other holds a breakfast bagel, something that Renjun generously made for Jeno, Shotaro and himself for being the only ones that were up early this morning before the other two left together, leaving Jeno alone which he didn’t mind. Yangyang and Donghyuck are still in bed.

Jaemin feels eyes on him but he doesn’t comment on it, deciding to silently sit opposite Jeno with a steaming hot cup of coffee, wrapping his fingers around the mug to keep warm and taking a generous sip, closing his eyes at the satisfying burn that runs down his throat.

“Better?” Jeno’s lips curl up in amusement at Jaemin’s quick nod. Jeno takes a bite into his bagel, eyes flickering down to his phone as another explicit message comes from Miwoo. “So… are we finally gonna talk about the thing?”

Jaemin’s brow raises at that. “What thing?”

“The you and Y/N thing” Jeno’s eyes flick back up to Jaemin as he hears a grunt. Jaemin doesn’t speak, instead he takes another sip of his coffee, basically allowing Jeno to continue. “You sure you’re ready to jump into whatever thing you got going on with Y/N? Are you sure you’re in the right mindset for that?”

Jaemin doesn’t want to talk about this. Not right now. Not when things are going well for him… a little too well. “I’ll be fine”

“You sure?” Jeno pushes on, switching off his phone to give Jaemin his full attention, leaning his elbows on the kitchen island as his face comes nearer. His voice dips low in warning. “Jae…”

“I said I’ll be fine” Jaemin’s tone comes out a little harsher than expected, but the cold stare he gives Jeno doesn’t make him back down from his own stare. Jeno doesn’t believe it, Jaemin thinks to himself as he gulps his coffee. He doesn’t really blame Jeno for not believing him, knowing that he’s been with him through his toughest and darkest times. “We want to do this… we both agreed to it, alright? And we made rules”

“Rules?” Jeno’s brow raises in confusion and Jaemin recites them all to him, counting the rules on his fingers. Jeno seems to be taking this information well, nodding to every rule that’s listed and even adding comments at certain ones that make Jaemin roll his eyes in annoyance. 

“They’re pretty straightforward” Jeno mumbles, rubbing at his jaw, somewhat seeming a little unsure now. “So, what happens if you break one of the rules?”

“I don’t know, I guess we call it quits or something” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, bringing the coffee to his lips to take a quick sip as he’s reminded of what happened earlier. “I accidentally broke one—”

Jeno snickers. “Already?”

“Shut up” Jaemin deadpans, holding up his hand to shush Jeno. He continues. “Anyway, I accidentally broke one that day you found out about it and I panicked thinking that I fucked things over… but, she didn’t say anything? So I’m assuming things are okay”

“What rule did you break?”

“Rule one, no couple stuff. I called her ‘baby’...”

“I don’t think that counts” Jeno says as he takes a bite of his bagel and Jaemin’s head snaps up, his eyes narrowing in on Jeno’s face. He sighs, thickly swallowing his food before giving Jaemin the explanation he is waiting for. “It’s just a petname… think about all the people in college that call each other shit like that. Plus, before Haru and Renjun got together and they were in their weird little fuckbuddy stage, he was calling her all sorts of names. Yangyang calls strangers ‘sweetheart’… you’re fine, don’t worry about it, alright?”

Jaemin’s lip form into a tight smile. “If you say so”

“I know so” Jeno’s right eye drops into a smug wink to which Jaemin scoffs at, downing the rest of his coffee to be able to stand up and leave this conversation, but the look on Jeno’s face shows that he’s not done. That there’s something more he wants to say.

Jaemin stays seated, staring over at Jeno as he waits for him to speak up but there’s nothing, there’s just silence. Jaemin hates it and he internally struggles with himself, the voice in the back of his head urging him to ask what was weighing in Jeno’s mind but another voice fights back, telling him that he doesn’t need to know… that he doesn’t want to dwell on this conversation any longer than he has to. 

But, of course, Jaemin happens to have no choice when Yangyang makes his appearance, sleepily walking into the kitchen while rubbing his eyes, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. A girl, who Jaemin has never seen before, trails behind him wearing one of Yangyang’s shirts and holding her own dress in her hands, not even shying away from the eye contact that Jeno and himself give her. 

Donghyuck appears a second later, yawning loudly as he brushes past the mysterious short haired girl, greeting her with a nod of his head before grabbing a bowl and a cereal box, joining the two boys for his breakfast while Yangyang reaches for something out of the top cabinet, slipping it into the girls hand. 

She grins, patting Yangyang’s cheek as a thank you before slipping out of the kitchen. The front door opens and shuts just as quickly, the boys turning their heads towards the window to see her retreating figure down the concrete walkway. 

Jeno slowly turns in his chair to face Yangyang. “You do realise she just left with your shirt, right?”

“I do now” Yangyang mutters, grabbing two pieces of bread and sliding them into the toaster. A groan leaves his lips as he stretches out his shoulders, hissing in pain as he rubs the back of his neck. “Fuck, my neck is killing me”

“I told you” Donghyuck’s lips curl into a smirk as he shoves a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “She’s a freak”

“Did you both fuck her?” Jeno asks them both nonchalantly. Jaemin pulls a straight face, putting down his coffee, completely losing his appetite. The mere thought of his two friends sleeping with the girl in question makes him grimace, not wanting to picture them in such a position. 

Donghyuck’s mouth drops open in offence. “No?!”

“Please, Donghyuck and I haven’t done that shit since he became obsessed with Aisha” Yangyang scoffs, joining them at the table. He sits beside Jaemin, his knee knocking against his. Jaemin presses his lips together, holding back the words that sit at the tip of his tongue, rubbing the forming bruise on his knee as he keeps his eyes on the wall behind Jeno’s head. Yangyang takes a bite of his toast as he stares at Jaemin. “So, you and Y/N?”

“How did that even happen?” Donghyuck asks, not giving Jaemin a chance to reply to Yangyang. He leans back in his chair, looking at him in disbelief. “No offence but out of all the people she would have decided to sleep with, why you?”

“My charming personality” Jaemin gives Donghyuck a fake smile, batting his eyelashes. 

Donghyuck’s eyes dip low to where the kitchen island presses against Jaemin’s middle, his eyebrow raising suggestively. “Charming personality huh?”

“Don’t tease him” Jeno warns, giving Donghyuck a pointed look to which he whines at, throwing himself back into the chair. He goes to retaliate but Jeno shakes his head. “I’m serious. Don’t”

“We’re just curious” Yangyang is quick to defend his friend just as Jeno was to Jaemin. Jaemin’s jaw hardens at the eyes that drill into the side of his head, almost giving up and turning to knock Yangyang off of his seat but he remains calm, that is until Yangyang opens his mouth again. “Have you fucked her yet?”

“I will before you ever will” Jaemin snaps, head slowly turning to Yangyang whose face pales slightly. Donghyuck’s mouth drops, blinking in shock while Jeno groans, holding his head in his hands. A satisfied feeling washes through Jaemin, his body buzzing as he struggles to hold back the smile that creeps up onto his lips, especially when he sees Yangyang struggling to find his next words.

Jaemin knows he could have worded it better, or not even hint towards anything of the sort, but he couldn’t handle the teasing anymore and he was desperate to put Yangyang in his place. Yet the smile slowly slips from Jaemin’s face as he realises how quiet Yangyang is now and that he refuses to meet his eyes, fully realising that he must’ve hit a nerve. 

Do you care? He thinks to himself, teeth gnawing at the inner skin of his cheek. Jaemin doesn’t even bother answering the question that lingers in his head as he excuses himself, placing the empty mug into the sink before he slips out of the kitchen, ignoring the looks he receives from the others. I shouldn’t care. 

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓]

Jaemin easily makes himself at home when he enters your empty apartment, already knowing the passcode to the door by heart after having to press it in so many times when he comes over. He kicks his shoes off by the door, neatly pushing them together with his foot before he shuffles down the hallway in a direct beeline for your bedroom.

Being at your place has, without a doubt, become second nature to him. He’s unable to count on his hands how many times he’s been over, with or without you. Admittedly, he’s usually here when you are, but on days like today, where you’re a little bit busier than usual at college, he comes over alone and waits for you inside your bedroom. 

He knows Haru and Miwoo are finishing their classes late too, which he’s happy about as he doesn’t have to make conversation with either of them (not like he does anyways, it’s only one-worded conversations when they ask him questions). Jaemin drops his bag down at the bottom of your unmade bed before he climbs into it, laying down with a huff as he fishes his phone out of his pocket, deciding to mindlessly scroll through his instagram feed as he waits for your arrival, hearting the pictures that appealed to him the most and a few pictures that the others have posted.

He pauses on one that is recently uploaded by Miwoo, bringing the device closer to his face as he takes in the photo of the three of you in class, holding finger guns to your temples and all pulling different facial expressions, yours being the least amused one while the other two poke out their tongues and act dead. 

Jaemin’s eyes can’t help but linger on you a little longer than usual, his lips forming into a grin with his finger tracing over your face but the touch causes the screen to swipe up and onto the next post, the grin immediately slipping away as he sees the photo and the username. 

Eunbin, the simple username reads and the picture of her in her art studio with paint smeared across her cheeks and a cheesy smile on her face stares right back at him, almost making Jaemin want to squeeze the phone in his grasp and shatter it to pieces. But, instead, he finds it hard to breathe… he finds it hard to swallow with the way his throat closes and his heart aches. 

He shuts off his phone, dropping the device to his chest as he tries to steady his breathing, feeling a panic rise as the image of her overcrowds his mind. Jaemin closes his eyes tightly to concentrate on anything but that, fingernails digging into the palm of his hand as the picture slowly begins to erase… and then it's blank. There’s nothing.

Jaemin loosens his fist, hand now splaying across your bed sheets which reminds him of his surroundings, his mind now filling with you. Just you. Not her. Not Eunbin. You. He can breathe now, his heartbeat steady, the feeling of a panic attack slowly fading into nothing as his thoughts are of you. It makes his body buzz, an unusual feeling that he’s experienced a few mere times but he doesn’t think much of it when he reaches for his phone again to bring up your contact, tapping the message icon and bringing up your previous conversation. 

His thumbs dance across the keyboard as he types out his message.

jaemin: when do u get here

you: in ten you: why lol

jaemin: im bored jaemin: i can’t wait for u to be here

you: :) you: we have the place to ourselves btw you: harus heading to work after this & im pretty sure miwoos going over urs to see jeno…

jaemin: :)

An incoming call flashes across the screen just as Jaemin was about to type another reply and a smile spreads across his face thinking it was from you, but it falters slightly when he reads Jeno’s name. He sighs, adjusting the pillows behind his head to get comfortable and holding his phone above his face as he answers the facetime call.

Jaemin almost snorts seeing Jeno pop up on the screen, a neon green toothbrush hanging out of his mouth with toothpaste bubbling around the edges. His best friend grins at him immediately, trying to prop his phone on the bathroom counter.

“Where are you?” Jeno questions him through a mouthful of toothpaste, hastily scrubbing his teeth with one hand while the other fails to prop up his phone. He finally succeeds after a few failed attempts. 

“Y/N’s” Jaemin answers quietly, stretching out his arm to show his surroundings, having the random urge to prove to Jeno that he was, in fact, in your bedroom. He brings the phone back to his face, raising a brow curiously. “Why are you brushing your teeth again? What are you doing?”

“Miwoo’s coming over. I want her to sit on my face until she suffocates me” Jaemin chuckles at that, running his fingers through his hair as he catches a glimpse of himself in the camera. Jeno spits out the toothpaste and wipes his mouth with a towel, eyes flicking between Jaemin and his reflection in the mirror in front of him. “So, you and Y/N have the apartment to yourselves?” 

“How did you know that?”

“Well, like I said, Miwoo’s coming over here and Renjun said that he’s gonna help out Haru at work because that dude still got a broken toe” Jeno states the obvious, throwing the towel to the side carelessly before grabbing a bottle of moisturiser off of the top shelf of his bathroom. He squirts a decent glop onto his hands before applying it evenly to his face. “So, in conclusion, you and Y/N have the apartment to yourselves… unless Yangyang decides to come over later”

“He’s finishing up some music stuff with Donghyuck today, I spoke to them before I came here” Jaemin says, fiddling with the ring on his middle finger as he remembers the brief conversation he had with the pair and how Jaemin gave Yangyang a weak apology for his attitude a few days ago. “Shotaro is with them, by the way, so you and Miwoo will have the house to yourselves too”

“Thank god, I’ve been dying to have sex with her for days…” Jeno groans. “If any of you fuckers come home early or cockblock when I’m trying to dick her down, I will strangle you all. I mean it”

Jaemin can’t help but laugh at Jeno’s threat, throwing his head back against the pillows with a wide smile. He remembers Jeno and Miwoo having some one on one time in Jeno’s room until Donghyuck and Yangyang came bursting in the front door, loudly hollering and making obnoxious noises to tease the duo but they both end up screaming in fright, running in separate directions when a naked Jeno comes bolting down the stairs, chasing them with Miwoo’s high heel shoe as a makeshift weapon while Renjun, Shotaro and Jaemin sat quietly in the living room watching a movie to keep preoccupied. 

“You know, I’m surprised you haven’t had sex with Y/N yet…” Jeno trails off, capturing Jaemin’s attention. He finishes moisturising his skin before continuing, picking up his phone and carrying it out of the bathroom. “You’ve made out and fingered her, like what, for times? And you still haven’t gotten laid? I mean, good on you honestly for holding out for so long… but couldn’t be me, especially in this friends with benefits relationship you got going on”

“I’ve cummed in my pants like fifteen-year-old Jaemin everytime it happens so I’m not complaining” Jaemin tells him, tongue peaking out between his lips as images of his fingers buried deep inside your pussy and his soiled boxers come to mind, almost smirking at the thought. His eyes meet Jeno’s through the screen. “I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything”

“It won’t hurt to ask” Jeno shrugs his shoulders. “And if she says no, it’s a no. It’s simple as that”

Jaemin scoffs. “I know that. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable”

“You won’t” Jeno reassures him and Jaemin nods his head, giving him a tight lipped smile. “Anyway, I’m gonna go and make Miwoo some food for when she gets here… Stay safe, Jae. Wrap it before you—”

“Okay, bye”

Jaemin’s quick to end the call, pressing his thumb repeatedly against the end button and throwing his phone to the side just in time to hear the passcode being punched in at the front door. He immediately sits up, eyes wide as he listens to the footsteps that walk across the floorboards, his body buzzing as they get closer and closer. His head snaps towards the doorway of your bedroom as a shadowy figure nears, leaning off of the bed to get a better look.

A smile instantly makes its way across his face as he sees you appear, sluggishly entering your bedroom with a tired look on your face. Something in his chest warms at the sight, watching you drop beside him on the bed, shoving your face in the pillows with a huff. You look so exhausted, he thinks to himself with a slight frown, his hand reaching out to touch your back, his fingers kneading into the bottom of your spine for some relief. 

He’s gotten so used to touching you over the past week, weirdly finding comfort in making contact with your skin. It’s fair to say, even though he would never admit it outloud, he’s gotten addicted to spending time with you, especially with how you make him forget everything around him. Perhaps you’re like a drug to him, a drug he can’t stop consuming, a drug that he’s so afraid of quitting because of the anxiety that seeps through his veins when he’s without you makes him think of her. 

“That feels nice” Your voice tugs him out of his head, forcing him back into reality. His fingers have found their way up to your shoulders during his thought process, digging into your shoulder blades to massage the tender areas. There’s a look on your face when you turn to face him, grateful and content as you whisper, “Thank you”

Jaemin’s heart weirdly warms at that and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, something that’s become pretty common to the two of you over time. “You’re welcome, baby”

“Baby?” You repeat with a hum, eyebrow raised as you stare at him with a smile. “You really like that nickname, don’t you?”

Jaemin doesn’t really know how to answer that verbally, so he gives a quick shrug of his shoulders, a grin slipping its way on his face as he watches you move around the bed, flipping around to lay on your back which results in his hands dropping to the mattress. He can’t help but keep his eyes on you, that weird feeling resuming in his heart and the urge to touch you creeps up on him, he holds back for now, but he’s unsure for how long.

Especially your hair, the way it’s dishevelled from the wind outside, messily splaying across your pillow. He wants to touch your face too, to trace around each of your delicate features with his thumb, mapping out all the details.

You really are pretty, Jaemin thinks to himself, his brows furrowing slightly as he looks down at you. Have you always been this pretty? 

“What do you want to do today?” You ask him, but he’s hardly listening, not when his head is filled with too many thoughts that he struggles to handle, his own questions and even suggestions laying on the tip of his tongue. Something stirs in the pit of his belly and his heart rate speeds up a little faster than usual, mouth slightly watery as he struggles to tear his eyes away from your face. 

It won’t hurt to ask, Jeno’s words from earlier repeat in his mind. If she says no, it’s a no. He shifts a little in the bed, sucking in a breath as his chubbed up cock rubs against the front of his boxers, causing friction against the tip which makes him jerk in surprise. There’s no fucking way he’s hard right now, not just from a simple thought of having sex with you. 

His lips press together tightly, heat crawling up his neck and to his cheeks as he tries to focus on something else but he can’t, he’s struggling so much and he feels like he’s about to burst any second. Jaemin’s eyes glance down at the front of his sweatpants, inwardly groaning at the bulge that’s obvious against the fabric. He’s going to punch himself in the dick.

“We could watch that new series that Shotaro was talking about yesterday?” Are you still talking? “I’ll even cook food for us too, considering you did it the last time… or, if you want, we could skip to the part where we make out all n—”

“I want you” Jaemin interrupts, unable to keep his thoughts at bay and his eyes almost widen at his boldness if he wasn’t so distracted with the way you’re looking at him now, mouth agape and in shock. Jaemin swears he’s just about lost his mind as the facial expression you’re pulling is making him feel even more hot and bothered. You’re pathetic, Jaemin. “I want you. I want to fuck you, if you’d let me”

You’re too quiet for his liking and you take too long to answer which makes him automatically think you don’t want to have sex with him. He’ll respect your answer without a doubt, even if it is a no, but if he doesn’t get a response in the next few minutes, he’s going to have to excuse himself to your bathroom and rub one out for some release. Or he could ask if you would kindly shove your hand down his pants and make him a withering mess like you did a few nights ago.

Great. Now he’s even more turned on than he previously was. This is getting ridiculous. Why the fuck is he—

“Okay”

His mouth dries, head snapping down to you in shock. He needs more confirmation, he needs you to give him the go ahead, he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. “Okay what?”

“Okay, I’ll let you fuck me”

Jaemin doesn’t know what comes over him but he’s already crawling on top of you, eyes wild with arousal and excitement. He doesn’t waste any time moulding your lips with his in a deep but slow kiss, a complete contrast to how fast his hands are moving on your body. He feels eager, he feels desperate. Jaemin hates it. He’s never been this way with anyone before.

He doesn’t want to part away from you yet, but if he doesn’t free himself of his clothes any time soon, he’s afraid he’s going to suffocate in them. Jaemin leans back on his heels, lips pulling from yours with a loud smooch that sounds far too sexy right now, fisting the material of his shirt before yanking it over his head, throwing it carelessly to the side before reaching for yours.

You lift your arms above your head to help him and Jaemin almost coos at the sight, gently tugging it over your head, leaving you in your lacy red bra and shorts. 

A guttural groan leaves his throat as he takes in the sight, mouth filling with saliva and almost drooling if it wasn’t for you wrapping your fingers in his necklace and pulling him down for another kiss, tongue sliding against your own messily and another groan vibrates in his throat as he feels you tug at his hair.

Jaemin moves his lips from yours to mouth at your skin, licking over your jaw and finding a place at your neck, smirking at the noises you make while his bottom half gyrates against yours, his cock rubbing on your thigh, causing him to shiver slightly at the touch. 

“I’m so hard right now” Jaemin pants, trying his hardest not to cum right then and there, especially when you push him off of your body and tug at the waistband of his sweatpants, seemingly desperate to get them off. You’re cute, he thinks to himself with a slight smile, helping you get rid of his pants and dropping them down beside your bed.

His fingers dance up your thighs and the smoothness of your skin beneath his fingertips makes his mouth water, hooking around the waistband of your shorts and pulling them down your legs, keeping his eyes on you. Sexy, he grins, eyes glancing down to the matchy red lacy panties you’re wearing, his tongue poking out between his lips as he lays his palm over your covered pussy, grounding the heel of his hand into your clit teasingly.

You react with a sudden cry and your back arches, causing Jaemin to snigger at your reaction before slithering both hands up your body, running up your stomach and over your chest, squeezing your tits and he grins as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“You’re so fucking pretty, you know…” He hums lowly as his fingers wind in your hair and pulls you up in a sitting position, goosebumps rising to his skin as your nose brushes against his collarbones but he yanks your head back, forcing you to look up at him. So fucking pretty. He isn’t surprised as he sees you crane your neck to messily suck at his lips, allowing you to kiss him as much as you please while he loosens his grip from your hair to run down your back, unclipping your bra with ease. 

He takes your underwear off next despite the awkward position, struggling to get them down your legs. He goes to push you back down on the pillows but jolts when he feels your hand brush against his cock, desperate to be released from his boxers. 

“Fuck—Don’t” Jaemin shakes his head, ripping his lips from yours as the pleasure gets a little too much to handle. You reel back quickly and he can’t help but laugh at the worried expression on your face, leaning forwards to give a reassuring kiss to your cheek. “I’m gonna cum if you keep on touching me like that, baby…”

“Oh” A sound leaves your lips, laying back against the pillows and Jaemin goes to lean over you until he realises he’s forgotten something. Condoms. Shit. He turns around and bends his body off of the bed, searching for his backpack and rummaging inside, trying to blindly find the box. Did I forget them? He begins to worry, chewing the inside of his cheek. There’s no way I forgot them. 

Jaemin grabs his backpack to get a better look inside, panic settling in his chest as he struggles to find the white and blue box and almost turns to you with tears in his eyes until he sees them laying at the bottom.

He internally pats himself on the back, plucking a silver packet from the box and resuming his position in between your legs, finally getting rid of his boxers, wincing when he cock slaps against his stomach, tip red and glistening with precum.

“Do you always carry those around with you?” He hears you ask and he fights the urge to roll his eyes, grinning instead.

“Only for you” Jaemin teasingly winks and you snort as he carefully tears open the packet with his teeth, chucking it on your bedside table, making a mental note to throw that away later when he rolls the condom down his length, biting back a moan at the friction. God, why is he so fucking horny? This is embarrassing… and it’s all your fault. 

He goes to huff at his own thoughts but is interrupted when he feels your knees knock against his stomach, your feeble attempt at closing your legs. He places his hands on top of your knees with a brow raised, prying them apart to get in between them but he freezes when his cockhead nudges against your already wet pussy, his eyes unable to look away from your arousal that glistens against your skin. 

He feels your hand reach up to caress his face and his haze flickers to yours, heart warming at the way you’re smiling at him before you bring him down into a kiss, adjusting your lower half on the bed which results in his cock being pushed between your folds.

Fuck, he curses, brows pulling together in concentration as he gets sucked into your wetness, walls immediately closing in around him as he thrusts in further. There’s no way I’m lasting long. 

• • •

Surprisingly, Jaemin lasted longer than he expected. 

Although, the second you started begging for his cum, he knew he was a goner and busted a nut straight away. His cheeks get a little red when he’s reminded of it, but he can’t deny the fact how fucking sexy you sounded screaming his name and begging for him to cum. You’re truly something else.

The scenes repeat in his head, thinking about the way you felt around him, how your hands clung to his body, nails raking down his back, lust and desperate eyes staring up at h—

“What are you making?” He’s startled by the sound of your voice, almost burning himself on the pot and he clears his throat, straightening his back as he gestures to the steaming creamy pasta he’s mixing in the pot. 

“Pasta” He glances over his shoulder to look at you, hair still wet from the bath you both took. “Go dry your hair while I plate this up, it’s almost done”

“I’ll let it air dry” You tell him and he watches as you walk up to one of the cupboards, opening it up to retrieve two bowls before reaching for some utensils in the drawer. Jaemin thanks you before gently moving you out of the way, afraid you’ll burn yourself from being too close as he dishes out the pasta equally. There’s some remains left inside the pot and he scoops it up with a spoon, blowing to cool it down before offering it to you. 

You wrap your lips around the spoon and he quickly puts his hand beneath it, making sure none spills onto the floor or on your clothes. 

“Any good?” Jaemin asks you, wanting to know your opinion as he wipes away the sauce at the corner of your lips with his thumb before sticking his thumb into his mouth to suck it off.

“Delicious” You compliment his cooking with a grin, licking around your mouth greedily. Jaemin smiles at that, nudging you softly as you grab your bowl and a fork, making your way into the living room. Jaemin follows behind shortly after with his own bowl and fork in hand, comfortably settling down next to you and sliding the tv remote to you, letting you choose whatever series to watch.

Almost thirty minutes into the show that he realised was the one Shotaro recommended you both, he notices how unusually quiet it is between you both and he starts to feel uncomfortable, chewing on his pasta while taking short and quick side glances at you but he chuckles every time he catches your eyes. You must feel the same way, he thinks as he shoves another forkful of pasta into his mouth. What can I say to break this weird tension?

“How are you feeling?” Seems like a good conversation starter.

You look up from your bowl to meet his eyes, your chewing slowly coming to a halt. You swallow harshly. “How are you feeling?”

“I asked first” Jaemin retorts with an amused grin but he decides to answer you anyways after finishing his food, placing the empty bowl in the coffee table in front of him. “I’m good”

“Cool” Your awkward response and nod makes him want to laugh. “I’m good too”

“Cool” He copies your words, the grin still remaining on his lips as he turns around to fully face towards you, his back leaning against the arm rest and his legs crossed in front of him. His fingers play with a loose strand on his shirt, twirling the string around his fingers as he asks you the question that has been lingering on his mind since it happened. “Was that good?”

“Was what good?”

The grin falls off his face, turning into a deadpan expression as his head slowly lifts to look at you. Are you kidding me? He doesn’t even blink once. “My dick inside your—“

“OH!” You splutter as you choke on your food. Jaemin’s eyes widen in alarm and he reaches over, the palm of his hand slamming against your back as you cough uncontrollably. Jaemin worries as you seem to struggle to find your breath, watching you place the bowl on the coffee table next to his and rub at your throat, tears springing in your eyes.

His ministrations turn into soothing circular motions, his worry slowly disappearing as you manage to find your breath and you clear your throat to regain yourself.

“It was okay”

Ouch. “Just okay?” Jaemin raises a brow at you, pretty offended by your words as he stares at you in disbelief. “You left your marks all over my shoulders and down my—“

“Oh my god! Shut up!” Your screeching cuts him off, hands covering your face in embarrassment. Jaemin can't help but laugh at that, struggling to keep his amusement contained when he sees you peeking between your fingers. “It was really good, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“Thank you, baby” Jaemin cheekily  grins, not even bothering to respond to your question as he scoot across the sofa to your side, dramatically leaning onto you with his arms slithering around your waist, hands creeping up your shirt in search for some heat and he feels better when his palms press against the warmth of your back.

Although hugging you right now seemed a bit too intimate, it was your arms sliding around his shoulders to reciprocate the hug that shocks him the most, his eyes widening as he feels your fingers playing the hair at the nape of his neck. He’s weirdly comfortable in this position, it almost feels natural, a little too natural. It scared him at how it felt so right to be like this, to be wrapped around you and he goes to move away, to create a little bit of space between you both until he realises how quiet you are. 

Jaemin raises his head from your chest, bottom lip jutting out and brows pulling together in confusion and concern. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” He pinches the skin of your sides to grab your attention and when you meet his eyes, he smiles at you warmly. “What’s wrong?”

You simply shrug. “Just thinking”

“About…?”

“It’s nothing” He hates the way you’re brushing it off, watching as you look away from him, finding interest in the TV. “It’s stupid”

“Look at me” Jaemin orders, his hand coming out from beneath your shirt to touch your cheek. His contact makes you turn your head to meet his eyes again, his thumb grazing across your skin. “It’s not stupid. One of the rules was to be honest with each other, right? So, tell me… talk to me”

“I haven’t had anything like this in three months” Your voice is shaking, Jaemin points out inside his head, already curious on how this conversation is going to go. “I haven’t kissed anyone in three months, I haven’t slept with someone in three months… I’ve had nothing like this for three months and it’s just…  it’s weird for me and my mind goes haywire with so much shit, and I have no idea how to control it”

“Do you—“

“Eric and I were together for over a year” Oh, so it’s going to be that type of conversation. Jaemin reels back slightly to sit up in shock, eyes wide.

He’s been patient with you and your situation, he respected your boundaries a few nights ago when he asked about Eric and you told him you weren’t ready to reopen the healing wounds. Jaemin’s intrigued, honestly, but he can’t help but think about how uncomfortable and uneasy you feel right now having to open up about an ex-boyfriend, Jaemin knows he would feel the same if he was in your position.

“Eric was my first exclusive boyfriend, our relationship was fun… it was exciting. We did everything together and not because he was my boyfriend but he was my best friend too, y’know? I think that’s what made it so hard after he told me he wanted to break up, to see other people. He told me he loved me still… but he didn’t want to be tied down, he wanted to be single”

Jaemin’s heart aches in his chest, a lump forming in his throat when you refuse to meet his eyes, your own glassy and red. He has the urge to comfort you, to tell you that you don’t need to talk about it anymore but he’s aware that talking to someone could make the situation better… he wishes he could do the same. He respects you for this.

“A day after we broke up, Miwoo dragged Haru and I to this party which I didn’t realise was hosted by Eric and Sunwoo. I saw Eric making out with some girl in the corner of the room…” Jaemin feels guilty when he sees you swallow harshly, blinking back the tears. “He saw me after that and he smiled at me as if nothing happened a few seconds prior or the day before… He even kissed me to greet me as if it was normal?” 

“Y/N—“

“How can you claim to still love someone but want to break up and see other people? How could you kiss someone after breaking their heart? I don’t get it” The shaking and the voice cracks you have from speaking about another man’s wrongdoings makes Jaemin feel a mixture of emotions, some that he doesn’t even understand but he forces it all to the back of his mind as he calls out your name softly, his fingers winding around your wrist to tug you forwards.

The second you fall into his lap, he immediately embraces you, arms wrapping around you so tightly that he’s afraid of hurting you, but he realises that wasn’t the case as he feels you melt into his touch, reciprocating the hug with your hands clutching the back of his shirt.

He understands your pain, although he doesn’t want to admit it out loud. He knows how it feels to be so confused and so heartbroken over things caused by an ex. Jaemin hates seeing you so upset and there’s a part of him that wishes he could take it all away, to make you feel better, to make you laugh… and maybe he can.

“Do you want us to fight him?” The words flow out of his mouth before he can even register what’s going on, pulling away from the hug to cup your cheeks, squeezing them together for extra effect.

His chest warms slightly as he sees the corner of your lips twitch in amusement. “What?”

“Me and the others, do you want us to fight Eric? Because I’m sure they will all be up for it. Jeno can throw in a good few hefty punches, Shotaro’s quick on his feet so he would be able to jab him a few times. Renjun can be pretty harsh with his words so he could definitely make him cry… Donghyuck is basically a little psycho so he would probably do some weird shit like shaving off his hair or ripping his clothes apart  or something, Yangyang would probably join in with that”

That first giggle you let slip makes him want to pat his back in success. But when your head tilts to the side, looking at him with curious eyes, something stirs in his belly. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do?”

Jaemin ponders it for a moment, head rushing with so many things to say, some jokeful and others a little risqué. What would he do? His eyes flitter around the living room, trying to find something that could give him some inspiration but there’s only one thing that continuously pops into his mind 

He smirks, he’s thinking about it too much now as he slowly turns his head towards you, meeting your eyes that are filled with wonder and curiosity. I know exactly how to hurt Eric, he says to himself as his hand reaches out to touch your face, his thumb pressing against your bottom lip.

“I would fuck you right in front of him” Jaemin’s honest, a little too honest, but the look on your face proves how perfectly fine you are with his attitude. That gives him the go ahead, he continues, “I would force him to watch me make you cum over and over again, more times than he ever could… I want him to hear you scream my name to let him know whos the one that’s making you feel good”

Your head ducks down slightly, seeming shy and flustered. “You think you could do that?”

“Oh, baby…” Jaemin tits, using his index finger and thumb to grip your chin, raising your head upwards before he leans to connect your lips for a brief kiss before he pulls back to whisper, full of confidence and cockiness. “You know I could do that”

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒]

“I got you something…” Jaemin hears you say as you drop down onto his bed and he peers over his phone to watch as you excitedly shrug your backpack off of your shoulders, unzipping it with a speed that makes him chortle. When you pull out a small box, his brows pull together in confusion, holding out his hand as you gesture at him to take it. 

He feels shy right now, warmth creeping up his neck as you stare at him with a goofy smile while his fingers work their way around the ominous box, pulling at the opening and dipping his hand inside to reach for the gift. Jaemin’s mouth drops open slightly but no sound comes from him as he admires the object in his hands, his heart swelling inside of his chest.

“So…” You wiggle your brows. “What do you think?”

“You bought me an actual polaroid camera?” Jaemin whispers in astonishment, finally raising his head up to meet your eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. His brain can’t fully comprehend that you’ve bought him something so mindful and sweet, struggling to find the right words for his gratitude as he looks back down at the polaroid, admiring it. “You… you actually got me…”

“I can’t take all the credit for it” You interrupt him with a sigh and he feels you move across his bed, setting your backpack to the ground before coming to sit beside him. “Haru spotted it in a store window, was saying how pretty it looks and I remembered Jeno buying you this cheapy one weeks ago but—”

“You’re amazing” Jaemin confesses, the smile spreading wide across his lips as he grabs the box again, digging for the film to put into the camera.

“I… well… you…” He hears you splutter before scoffing. “Don’t be so dramatic!”

“I’m serious” Jaemin deadpans, meeting your eyes and he sees the way you dip your head low to avoid his gaze, chewing on your bottom lip as he rips open the silver packet for the film cartridge, inserting it inside the polaroid as quickly as he possibly could, eager to try it out. 

He raises the polaroid to his face to look through the lens, trying to decide on what he can take a picture of in his room for his first polaroid photo. He scans around, tongue poking at his cheek in deep thought as he slowly turns his body to the side, stilling when he captures you in the frame staring at him.

The polaroid slowly falls from his face to properly look at you, brows furrowing at the look that pools in your eyes, curious on what’s going on inside that head of yours before he raises it back up, hovering his finger over the button.

“Smile, baby”

You immediately grin, which makes Jaemin chuckle, pressing the button down to take the picture. He feels your arm brush against his as you lean in close as you both wait for the film to develop but he takes this opportunity to take more photos, turning the polaroid around in his hands to take a unflattering photo of just his nostrils and his eyes. You’re laughing beside him, the sound making him grin and look at you, accidentally pressing the button again and it startles him.

The film develops and his brows raise in surprise at the imagery. He’s looking at you with the most goofiest grin on his face while you’re staring back at him laughing. It’s a pretty picture, he admits, lips jutting out in deep thought as his eyes flick between the picture and the polaroid camera, and then you. 

“Do you want to take a picture with me?”

“Okay” Your answer is simple, short, but it still warms Jaemin’s chest and he smiles widely, tugging you as close to him as possible. His cheek smushes against yours and your hand comes up to cup his jaw, squeezing his cheeks together while his free hand comes to rest on top of your head. Viewing the picture once it developed made him laugh and you ripped it out of his hands to take a look at yourself, shaking your head at the ridiculous picture. It was a little silly, but he never would’ve guessed it would become one of his favourite pictures over time.  

“You know…” Jaemin drags out as he plucks the polaroid from your hands to put it down at the side, meeting your eyes suggestively. “I have a few ideas on more pictures we can take together”

“Oh really?” You wiggle your brows and lean so close that Jaemin feels your breath fan across his face. “Care to enlighten me, Na?”

• • •

“Will you sit still?” Jaemin huffs, peeking at you from behind the polaroid camera to glare, almost daring you to move again. He’s been trying to take a picture of you for the past five minutes, trying his best to capture you at the right angle but the way you keep moving makes him struggle and he’s close to throwing the camera to the side and giving up completely.

“It’s kinda hard when you have your dick twitching inside me Jaemin” You spit back angrily at him and Jaemin rolls his eyes, finding you extremely irritating despite the grin that spreads across his lips. “This it torture. I don’t know why I even agreed to this shit—”

“Stop complaining” Jaemin tuts, one hand dropping from the polaroid to grip your thigh, pressing his thumb into the soft skin of your stomach. “Just give me one picture, okay? And then I’m all yours”

“That’s what you said five minutes ago” You say between grit teeth. Jaemin’s cock twitches again at the tone of your voice, unable to deny how attractive you sound when you’re annoyed and he chuckles when you suck in a deep breath, slamming your palms down on his chest and digging your fingernails into the skin. Jaemin hisses at the pain that spreads but uses this moment to take the picture, capturing the way your eyes screw together and your mouth opens in complete bliss all while getting the angle of your pussy hugging around his cock.

“There we go…” Jaemin breathes out, dropping the camera to his side as his hands reach for your body, his hands roaming up the expanse of your thighs, taking note of how much they quiver before resting on your hips. His fingers grip tightly, thumbs pressing down on your stomach as he rolls you on top of him. “I’m all yours”

“I hate you” You pant heavily.

“Sure you do” Jaemin hums, tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip as he watches you lift yourself up before dropping back down on his cock at a steady pace. He tilts his head back with a groan, mouth dropping open as he feels the way your pussy fits snugly around him. His hands come around to rest on your ass to help you bounce, squeezing the flesh between his fingers that has you moaning loudly and he grins.

Jaemin loves the way you sound. He can’t get enough of the heavy panting, the wanton moans and the whimpers that leave your lips every time you fuck yourself on his cock, wanting nothing but to make you and him cum. He loves how desperate and needy you are in situations like these. It’s just for him. It’s all for him. 

“Just like that…” He groans as you slam yourself down on him and roll your hips forward, fingernails continuing to dig into his chest but he ignores the pain. “That’s it, baby… fuck me”

He starts to thrust upwards to meet your movements, one hand roaming up to cup your cheek, his thumb dipping past into your mouth and grunting as you suck. The dazed look on your face has him craving for you and his pace quickens, skin slapping against skin, loud moans filling the room. He was reaching his climax far too quickly for his liking, always wanting you to be the one that comes undone first and he removes his thumb from your mouth to press it against your clit, rubbing in circular motions that has your movements coming to a halt.

“Fuck!” You gasp out and Jaemin’s lips stretch into a grin, using this as an opportunity to take over and pound up into you, quicken the pace of his hips as he plants his feet on the bed, a boisterous laugh erupting from his chest as you struggle to hold up your body and up crashing down on top of his. He huffs, blowing your hair out of his mouth as he continues his ministrations on your clit at the awkward angle, his hand getting squashed beneath your weight but he doesn’t care, not when you’re moaning loudly in his ear begging for him to go faster and your grip on him getting stronger. 

“I know, I know…” Jaemin coos as your moans turn into soft weeps, pussy sucking him in deliciously as you’re nearing your own climax, walls throbbing around his cock that sends him crashing down much faster than intended, giving you one harsh thrust before emptying himself inside of the condom. 

His thumb doesn’t stop rubbing your clit which helps you cum along with him, your body spasming against his and he hisses, teeth gritting together as your pussy pulsates around him. His name falling repeatedly from your lips makes him smile, his hand moving up from your hip to rest at the back of your head.

“Good girl” Jaemin hums as he smooths your hair gently, ringed fingers getting tangled in the sweaty locks but he’s careful to remove them out. He feels your body shudder against his as you go through the last few waves of your orgasm, panting heavily in his ear and he tries his best to calm you down with tender caresses. “Good job, baby…”

It doesn’t take long for Jaemin to carefully remove you off of his body to get rid of the condom, securing it tightly with a knot before throwing it in his trash can, making a mental reminder to clean it out later tonight as he tugs you to stand, wrapping an arm around your middle as he helps take you to the bathroom to wash up. 

He doesn’t shower with you this time, allowing you to go in first and have your own time as he retreats back into his bedroom to gather yours and his clothes to throw into the laundry basket, snickering to himself as he almost steps on your bra but he pauses his movements when the polaroid photos capture his attention.

Reaching down, he picks the one up of you two smiling with both of your cheeks pressed together, the photo causing something to stir inside of Jaemin’s chest and he can’t help but grin, tracing his thumb over the polaroid before dropping the laundry out of his hands to reach for a pen off of his desk and he rips the cap off with his teeth as he messily scribbles at the bottom. 

Jaemin appreciates the things he loves, and he loves this photo. It’s fair to say out of the many photos you have together, this might actually be his favourite one. You both look happy. You both look like you’re having fun. Jaemin knows what you both have is fun and enjoyable, there’s no feelings attached and you clearly make each other forget the worst times of your lives. He’s found joy in you, and he hopes you find joy in him too. 

Jaemin drops the pen with a smile, eyes rereading the written words ‘appreciate you’ at the bottom before sticking it to the side of his speakers with spare tape he’s found. His eyes move to the other polaroid on his bed, quickly grasping it between his fingers as he brings the explicit picture close to his face.

The angle of him buried inside of you and the facial expressions on your face remind him of something he would see out of an exotic porno magazine and he chuckles, concealing his arousal as he admires the polaroid, taking in the details as the scene of you two in his bed prior moments before replays in his head. You are so—

“Please don’t ever show anyone that” Your voice startles him from behind him and he peeks over his shoulder at you, seeing you wrapped in one of his fluffy towels with water droplets dripping from your hair and cascading down your arms to his floor. “I will murder you”

Jaemin shakes his head, smugly grinning as he pecks the polaroid with a loud smooch and opens up his computer desk drawer, shoving the nude photo inside before closing it shut. “It’s all mine”

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐄𝐗𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒]

“Good job, Jaemin. You continue to amaze me everyday with these photographs” Professor Kim chuckles as he stares down at Jaemin’s portfolio book, flicking through the pages with a wide smile spread across his face, evidently pleased with Jaemin’s work. Pride soars in Jaemin’s chest but he keeps a straight face, bowing his head in respect and mumbling small thank yous here and there. Professor Kim lays a hand on his shoulder. “I’m serious, you’re really impressive. I can see you definitely going far with photography in the future”

“Thank you, Professor Kim” 

“Just speaking the truth” Professor Kim smiles, squeezing his shoulder in a proud manner before it drops, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black chinos before he gestures to the sketchbook that peeks out of Jaemin’s bag beneath the desk. “I’d love to see what’s in there too. If your photography portfolio is perfect, I can’t even begin to imagine what you got hiding in there”

“It’s just personal projects” Jaemin reaches down to shove his photography sketchbook further into his bag and out of view, zipping it up quickly before looking back up at his professor, giving him a half lipped smile. “It’s nothing special, really. It’s just stuff for me”

“Fair enough” Professor Kim respects it, bidding Jaemin a goodbye with a tip of his head before venturing off to another student to examine their works. Jaemin lets out a deep exhale, falling back comfortably into his chair to relax, fingers tapping against his portfolio as he allows a genuine smile to creep up onto his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I can see you smiling, I get it” Jaemin’s seatmate, Junghoon, scoffs from beside him and Jaemin chuckles lightly, turning to face Junghoon who stares at him, lips jutting out into a pout around his plastic straw, slowly slurping up the contents of his ice coffee before pointing it menacingly at Jaemin. “I can see you basically creaming your panties over being complimented by the Vante. Must be nice”

“I’m just doing what I’m told” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders and glances at the time that shows in the top right hand corner of his open ipad, immediately shutting it off as he realises the class was a minute away from ending.

“I do what I’m told yet I’m still not getting my dick sucked by some hotshot photographer who, by the way, should probably be living in some fancy mansion in Paris instead of teaching college kids how to use cameras and take pictures” Junghoon gasps dramatically, placing his hand on his chest as he sucks in big gulps of air, completely forgetting to breathe during his mini rant that, to be honest, Jaemin was hardly listening to as he packs his stuff away.

He slings his backpack over his shoulder as he stands, peeking at Junghoon who copies his movements, drinking the remaining liquid in his cup. “You don’t exactly do what you’re told, you know… I’m pretty sure he asked you to take some photos of wildlife not so long ago and you refused because you didn’t want to go anywhere near any bugs”

“Valid reasoning, by the way” Junghoon defends himself, shivering at the thought of being up close and personal to an insect of his disliking. “He’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to be eye to eye with some spider… How come you’re allowed to take pictures of people and landscapes while I’m stuck with creepy little things?”

“It’s what I’m good at” Jaemin mumbles, the corner of his lips twitching proudly before he bids Junghoon goodbye, leaving his seatmate alone in the class as he ventures down the crowded hallways, keeping to himself by shoving a pair of earbuds into his ears. 

Jaemin never labels himself as someone popular and well-known, despite him being friends with a few of the most well-known students on campus, but he’d be lying if he said people never stared or whispered to their friends about him when he walks by. He’s aware he has a reputation of being mysterious and, for some reason, intriguing. He never understood it, but he didn’t want to question it either. 

He avoids the eyes that linger on him as he brushes past the students, even going as far as ignoring the ones that stand in his way, seemingly trying to get his attention but Jaemin doesn’t want it, nor does he care.

But a hand tugs at his arm, fingers wrapping around his elbow to get his attention and although Jaemin would easily pull away and continue walking, there’s some part of him that’s interested in who grabbed him. He glances down at the perfectly manicured red nails that gently press into his skin, eyes trailing up the arm of the owner and annoyance fills him in an instant once recognising the person.

Mia. He has a bitter taste in his mouth that he fails to get rid of upon seeing the blonde in front of him. Mia reminds him of Eunbin, only because the two are as close as could be. Mia was everywhere Eunbin was and frankly, Jaemin did not like Mia. To be fair, Jaemin doesn’t like a lot of people, he’s not a people’s person… but there was something about Mia that Jaemin couldn’t stand.

He pulls the earbud out of his ears, music no longer drowning the sounds out of other students and noises, blankly looking at Mia who stares back at him with a smile, her lips painted the same colour as her nail polish which irked Jaemin. 

“Long time no speak, huh?” Mia jokes as if the two were close friends, adjusting the dainty bag strap on her shoulder. “You’re one hard guy to get a hold of, you know that? I’ve been trying to contact you for days to—”

“I don’t have your number” Jaemin cuts her off and Mia blinks in surprise, and before Mia could even have the chance to offer it up, Jaemin speaks again. “I don’t want your number”

The smile falters from Mia’s lips for a brief second, rage flashing in her eyes before she regains herself, forcing another smile as she straightens her back. “You’re funny. Anyways, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about Eunbin”

Jaemin’s head tilts at that. “What makes you think I want to talk about Eunbin?”

“Are you high?” Mia looks at him incredulously, even going as far as reaching her hand out to touch his face to check for any redness clouding his eyes but Jaemin leans back, swatting it out of the way as if he was hitting a fly. Mia reels back in surprise, cradling her hand with her mouth agape. “What’s your problem?!”

“You, obviously” Jaemin responds simply, reaching for his earbud again to plug it back into his ears as Mia splutters to speak.

“I’m just trying to talk to you about Eunbin, you know, your girlfriend” Now it was Jaemin’s turn to look at Mia as if she had suddenly sprouted two heads. Mia almost seems offended at the way she was being looked at right now, placing her hands on her hips. “What?”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Mia” Jaemin says, not missing the way she almost chokes at his words but he doesn’t care, lifting the earbud to his ears. “She hasn’t been my girlfriend since she left to go to New York” And with that, he leaves Mia standing in the middle of the hallway as he walks off, not even bothering to stay behind and listen to her sounds of confusion, wanting nothing more than to get away from the scene.

Why did Mia think Eunbin was still his girlfriend? The thought circled around in his head more than he had hoped, completely disrupting the music that plays in his ears and taking away his attention. Was Mia just saying that to get a reaction out of him? To rile him up? His tongue prods at his cheek in annoyance, knowing for a fact that he’s made it so obvious over the time Eunbin has left that she was not in his life anymore, that he wanted nothing to do with her. 

A part of Jaemin wants to turn around and call out Mia’s name, demanding to know why she thought Eunbin was still in his life or if she was truly trying to piss him off (which, honestly, seems to be working) but he decides against it when he sees Haru and Miwoo piling out of a classroom at the end of a hall, Haru seemingly tugging Miwoo who makes sexual gestures to whoever was left behind in class. 

His brows pull together in confusion, noticing that you’re nowhere to be seen and the twinge in his chest makes him feel a little sick, but he pushes it down as he takes the earbud out of his ears again, shoving them away inside his pockets as he reaches the pair.

“Hey, Na” Haru is the first to greet him, giving him a smile.

“Hey” He greets back kindly, peering over their heads in search of you. “Where is Y/N?”

“She’s hopefully getting her back blown as a punishment by the hottest Professor on the fucking planet” Miwoo fans herself, craning her neck over her shoulder to see if she could peep through the crack of the door but Haru grips her arm to spin her back around. Miwoo snorts with a grin and Jaemin’s facial expression remains stoic, clearly not entertained. 

Haru catches the look on his face and her lips quirk upwards. “She got held back, probably for her assignments. She’s pretty good at writing”

Jaemin nods. “So I’ve heard”

“Speaking of Y/N getting her back blown… congrats on getting her out of her dry spell, by the way. We’ve heard some big things about your one-on-one time the other night. Sounds like you had fun last night too… the walls are pretty thin” Miwoo smirks with a suggestive wiggle of her brows and a wink. He watches as her hand reaches out to pat the front of his pants, acting as if she was petting a dog as she whispers proudly. “Good job, Little Jae”

Jaemin, being used to this type of behaviour from Miwoo, rolls his eyes and his tongue prods at his cheek in annoyance while Miwoo cackles, ruffling the locks on top of Jaemin’s head before looping her arm with Haru’s, announcing that they’re both heading for lunch and to meet them later.

Jaemin dismisses the duo with a nod, eyeing the pair as they walk away together laughing and mumbling jokes under their breaths, but his attention is soon drawn away when he faintly hears your voice behind the cracked door.

He can’t make out the words you’re saying nor can he make out the responses of your so-called ‘hot Professor’ that you’re inside the classroom with. Was he really that attractive? Jaemin can’t help but think, lips jutting out into a pout as his mind wanders. He can’t recall ever seeing this Professor before, surely he would remember a handsome face. Maybe he’s not that attractive. He wasn’t sure why he was pondering about this so much, it shouldn’t bother him as much as he’s allowing it to. 

Jaemin huffs, leaning back against the wall comfortably as he decides to wait for you, finding interest in the tiled floor beneath his feet as he blocks out the sounds around him, hoping that you’d be done with your conversation soon. He waits for almost ten minutes before he sees the door being pushed open and you slip through, not noticing his presence as you remain stuck in your own little world, emptily staring at nothing which makes Jaemin chuckle.

“What are you looking at?” You blink before your head shoots around to look at him and a boyish grin spreads across his lips at the shocked look on your face, clearly not expecting him there. He decides to tease, “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you?”

Your brow arches with a smile. “You were waiting for me?”

“Of course” Jaemin pulls a face, pushing himself off of the wall to stand in front of you and when he’s close, he leans his head down, lips puckered and ready to press them to yours but he freezes when he realises what he’s doing. His actions stun him, brain too frazzled to make up an excuse or even speak. He was going to kiss you. What the fuck? He swallows thickly, panic rising in his chest. That was too natural. That was weird. Jaemin wants to walk away, to get the fuck out of this situation and be alone to drown in his own self-embarrassment but he sees the white sliver of paper in between your fingers. A way out. “What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s nothing” You quickly dismiss and shove the paper deep into your pockets which makes him slightly suspicious. “It’s just something my Professor gave me”

Something builds up inside of Jaemin as his eyes dart between your own and your pocket. “His number?”

“I wish” You respond with an exaggerated sigh and Jaemin immediately rolls his eyes, his tongue prodding at his cheek in annoyance before his arm reaches out. It doesn’t register in his brain what he’s doing as his arm hangs loose around your shoulder but you’re pressed close to his side. Jaemin fails to think much about it, the only thing lingering in his mind is the thought of you having a Professor’s phone number. Was that even allowed? Is it illegal for a Professor to have a student's number? How old is this guy? His fingers flex slightly, brushing your chest. Maybe he is attractive—

Jaemin almost jumps when he feels you shrug his arm from around his shoulder, his arm dropping to his side. His head turns to look at you and his brows pull together in confusion as he sees the expression on your face. You look paranoid, you look worried. 

“Rule two” You whisper to him when you finally meet his eyes, reminding him of the rules. “No telling anyone at college, remember?”

“I didn’t say anything”

“You’re making it obvious” The tone in your voice makes his eyes narrow, watching as you duck your head. “They’re all staring. Everyone is staring at us”

A ugly feeling settles in his chest as he takes in your words, almost wanting to argue back and ask if there was a problem with people staring at you both, but he didn’t want to cause a scene and he definitely didn’t want to make you feel worse. He wants you to meet his eyes, the ugly feeling growing bigger when it dawns on him how uncomfortable you feel right now, noticing how your hands fidget at your sides. Is this really bothering you? Jaemin raises his head to glance around, spotting a few lingering eyes that quickly steer away once being caught and he glares at those who stare a little longer than needed.

Once making sure eyes are directed elsewhere, his fingers dip beneath your chin to lift your head up. You gulp which he frowns at, moving his hand from your face to curl around the back of your head, gently caressing your hair as he exhales deeply.

“Nobody is looking at us” He reassures you, voice quiet and soft. “They’re all in their own little worlds… nobody is looking at us”

He’s grateful that nobody is looking anymore when you take a peek, your body instantly relaxing and subconsciously leaning into his touch which makes him smile. He doesn’t like seeing you so tense and upset, especially over something so minor. You shouldn’t care what other people think, Jaemin reckons, his hand dropping from your hair.

He studies how you’re looking at everyone, watching them interact with each other and not sparing a glance at either of you, even though they desperately wanted to just for some gossip and drama. He’s not too sure how he feels about you being so paranoid over people knowing the situation you’re both in. He’s positive he can name at least six other students who are in the same position with their friend with benefits partner, exclusive and not.

Exclusive. The word sparks something inside of him and he ponders on it for a few moments. Being exclusive doesn’t sound too bad. He doesn’t want to fuck anyone else, you seem to not want to fuck anyone else either. Besides, claiming you both as exclusive fuckbuddies will make Mia understand that Eunbin is no longer in his life, that the ‘girlfriend bullshit’ is just… bullshit. 

Plus, being exclusive with you can mean that he’s able to touch you in public, to kiss you. Hiding behind closed doors doesn’t sound so exciting anymore. 

“See? It’s all in that pretty little head of yours” Jaemin tells you just as you turn back to face him.

“I guess…” You mutter beneath your breath. “I just don’t want anyone talking about us”

“I don’t think anyone gives a fuck about us” He knows that it’s partially true. No one would eventually give a fuck about either of you if you ever tell anybody. Sure, there might be a few whispers here and there at the beginning but he knows it would die down. It’s normal. He briefly remembers someone by the name of Areum and Chaewon being outed for being in a friends with benefits relationship that people only talked about for a day before it was forgotten about. Tell her. Tell her what you want. “I want to become exclusive with you”

Your eyes bulge out in shock, almost choking on your spit. “What?”

Instead of answering straight away, Jaemin slips his hand into yours, fingers wrapping around your own before he tugs you down the hallway, looking for a vacant classroom to speak to you in private. Privacy might be what you need for the time being. He pulls you into the nearest empty one he could find, noticing by the posters and writings hung up on the wall that it was the social studies class and he’s quick to close the door behind himself.

The look on your face would’ve made him laugh if it wasn’t for the urge to kiss you. It was small, quick, a light smooch to your lips that leaves him yearning for more and he smiles once he sees your eyes closed and lips puckered, waiting to be kissed again. Cute. He thinks, deciding to give a short peck to your nose which has you opening your eyes with a pout.

“What did you mean by exclusive?”

“I don’t want to fuck anyone else, I just want to fuck you” His lips quirk when he sees you dip your head shyly at his blunt honesty. “I want us to become exclusive fuck buddies. We can still keep the rules, obviously, but I think it would be easier for us”

“Easier, how?”

“I want to be able to actually touch you without having to be in the comfort of our own bedrooms” He explains as his hand reaches out, the pads of his fingers grazing your cheek. “I want to be able to kiss you or even tease you whenever I feel the urge, I don’t want to wait until we get somewhere private… where’s the fun in that, hm?”

“But—”

“And even if people were to stare or talk about us, they’ll soon forget about it. That shit with Jeno and Yeeun lasted a day… we’ll be fine, I promise”

“I don’t know” Your uncertainty makes him a little sad, but he understands. Becoming exclusive is a big step, maybe a little too big. Maybe he should tell you the other reason about wanting to become exclusive with you, the Mia reason. The Eunbin reason. It bites away at him, tearing him apart piece by piece as the little voice in the back of his mind tells him not to lie to you. 

He’s not technically lying. He’s told you part of the truth… but will telling you about what Mia said and how he felt make him weak? He would definitely feel embarrassed and he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of you again. Jaemin hates feeling weak. He hates letting small things take such a big hit on him. He prefers the mysterious, emotionless persona he’s got going on, he likes shielding a lot of things and if he’s honest about his feelings and thoughts towards Mia and Eunbin… god, he doesn’t know how he’d react. What if he cries? What if he—

“Can I think about it?” Your voice saves him out of his miserable thoughts. “It’s just that—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me” Jaemin cuts you off quickly with a shake of his head, hands coming up to rest on your cheeks. “I’m not going to force you to be exclusive with me if you're uncomfortable or not ready for that type of shit. I’ll wait, okay? You can take all the time you need to think about it”

You blink up at him before you push yourself up on your toes and Jaemin’s eyes widen in shock as your lips attach to his. He responds almost immediately, lips eagerly kissing back with urgency as his hands slip from your face to pull your flush against his chest by your hips. 

His feet are moving forwards and yours backwards, chairs squeaking as they shift across the floor from both of you stumbling, being pushed and shoved out of the way before Jaemin decides to slip his hands around the backs of your thighs to lift you up, planting you down on a sturdy desk. 

Jaemin grunts when he feels your hands touch his body, wanting nothing more than to rip off his shirt to feel skin upon skin. His tongue forces its way into your mouth, pants becoming uncomfortably tight as he rubs his lower half against your own, shuddering at the feeling of his bulge pressed against your thigh. 

His fingers itch to get rid of your jeans, faintly touching the zipper and he would’ve pulled it down if it wasn’t for you nudging him back by his shoulders, putting a distance between you both. His chest moves rapidly, trying to catch his breath as he brows pull together in confusion, respecting the distance but confused on why.

“We’re in public” You remind him. His brow raises and you sigh. “Fine, we’re in college and if anyone walks through that door, we’ll be in trouble”

His tongue licks his bottom lip, head tilting to the side as he takes in your words. His brows raise again, more suggestively this time. “I kinda like the idea of getting caught fucking in a classroom”

• • •

Jaemin does not appreciate being stuck at his computer right now, jaw tense as he clicks away at his mouse to edit a photo while you’re present in the house and, unfortunately, no longer in his room. 

He was in the midst of having his hand down your pants and yours in his while a movie played in the background but the loud shrill of his phone interrupted the moment, almost snapping his phone in half as he visually saw the sexual tension slip out of the window. 

Jaemin wanted to kill Junghoon the second he saw his name flashing on the screen, but he calmed down when he realised that Junghoon doesn’t call him that often, there’s been a mere few times where the latter has texted some stupid meme or asked for a second opinion, but that was it, so it must’ve been serious.

It was serious. 

He forgot to edit and submit his project that was supposed to be submitted two hours ago, completely missing the emails he received from Professor Kim who repeatedly asked the whereabouts of his photos which left Jaemin scrambling for an excuse, promising to have it up by the evening. 

junghoon(class): so much for getting your dick sucked by vante earlier lol junghoon(class): must be tough

Blocked. 

Jaemin was grateful that you weren’t too pissed off about him having to quickly finish off something for college, you even gave him reassurance and some encouraging words which made his chest fill with warmth, and he was close to forgetting his project all over again just to thank you with his head shoved between your legs but he couldn’t fail, not when he was so close to being a top student and passing.

Truthfully, Jaemin wanted you to stay with him while he worked, he even offered you to sit on his lap so he could teach you the ins and outs of photoshop (and be close to you, but he would never admit to that). You did for a few moments, leaning your back against his chest as you made small comments about his skills but you slipped away a little too quickly for his liking, shutting his bedroom door behind yourself to give him the privacy which he would’ve loved if it wasn’t for that fact he did want you here with him. 

He feels… lonely now, weirdly. He appreciates being alone more than anything, he appreciates his own space and his own company. So why does he feel so lonely right now? Why does it feel so wrong to be by himself when he’s used to craving it so much?

Jaemin shakes the feelings away, clearing his throat to get back into the right mindset as he edits the last touches to his photo, making sure to accentuate the sky a little bit more before getting ready to finally submit the photo in for… Where are you right now? His eyes flick down to his phone that lays beside his mouse. Are you still here? Are you downstairs? He averts his attention back to his computer screen, resting his chin on his free palm as the other hand moves the mouse, clicking away at his mail and getting ready to send it over. Maybe you’re hanging out with Jeno. Jeno’s home. 

Submitted! The bold, blue word appears on the screen and Jaemin is quick to stand up from his chair, gripping his phone in his hands as he checks for any unread messages, making his way out of his room in search of you. 

He goes to progress down the stairs, fully believing that you would be hanging out with Jeno in the living-room watching some lame movie but he wavers when he hears your giggles and Yangyang’s yelling coming from behind, slowly looking over his shoulder at Yangyang’s half open bedroom door with his brows pulled together.

His feet move before he could think, heading straight to the door and pushing it open with a shove. He blinks upon seeing you sprawled on your stomach across Yangyang’s bed, the latter laying his entire weight on your back with his face shoved into your shoulder, spilling incoherent whines which Jaemin finds difficult to understand. His head cocks to the side in irritance, shoving his phone inside of his pocket as he leans against the doorframe, arms coming up to cross over his chest.

“What are you doing?” His voice startles you both. You’re the first to look up, but he doesn’t meet your eyes, not when they’re glued on Yangyang who raises his head to stare back at him. It irks him when he sees the grin spread across Yangyang’s lips when he digs his fingers into your sides to make you yelp. Jaemin’s eyes narrow in on that and he repeats, “What are you doing?”

“Teaching her a lesson” Yangyang answers simply above the sounds of your laughter as he continuously tickles your sides. “She’s hurting my feelings and she deserves to be punished”

Punished? Jaemin raises a brow at that, nose wrinkling in distaste as the unusual feeling resumes in his chest and a bitter taste is left in his mouth. The word irks him, especially coming from Yangyang’s lips. It doesn’t sit well at all and Jaemin turns on his heel, wanting to head back to his room without another word but he hears you call out his name. It makes him stop.

He peers his head back around the doorframe just in time to see you crawl out from beneath Yangyang, tumbling to the ground with a huff. Jaemin’s bites back a smile when you flip Yangyang off for laughing, pushing yourself up onto your feet. Jaemin watches curiously as you skip over to him and the smile he tries so hard to hide appears when you wrap your arms around his shoulders, smushing his cheek against yours as you lead him away from Yangyang’s bedroom.

Warmth crawls up his neck, his face hot and dusted a slight pink at the action, and his own arm slithers around your waist, pulling you into his side and laughing as you both wobble across the floorboards towards his room.

Your giggles are loud in his ears, clinging onto him tightly to prevent yourself from tripping over your own feet which he finds cute, keeping his arm wrapped around you as you both enter his room and close the door behind yourselves. His grip loosens on your waist to drop down at his desk chair, swivelling around to face his computer with his bottom lip jutting out in a frown as the image of Yangyang on top of you appears in his head, echoing the words ‘punished’ over and over, leaving an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. 

He can’t help himself wonder why Yangyang was even lying on top of you like that and what you were both doing before he interrupted. He doesn’t really understand why he’s bothered about it so much and he doesn’t want to dwell on it any longer, but it’s hard when the image flashes in his eyes and that fucking smirk that Yangyang wore on his stupid fucking f—

“What’s up with you?” Your voice rips him out of his head, hand gripping the back of his chair to spin him around to make him face you. He avoids your gaze, opting to give you the silent treatment as he finds the wall behind you a little interesting today. He doesn’t miss the sigh that leaves your lips as you continue, “Okay. I’ll go back to Y—”

“You came over to spend time with me but you’re in Yangyang’s room” Jaemin immediately spills, almost cringing at himself at how he sounded. Pathetic. He leans back in his chair, eyes meeting yours as his arms cross over his chest, seemingly showing off. Even more pathetic. “You’re ignored me”

“I went to hangout with him because someone was working on their project” You interject, jabbing a finger at his chest. He frowns, rubbing the sore area. “You ignored me”

“I told you that you could sit right here” Jaemin states, unfolding his arms to gesture at his lap dramatically before resting his palms on his thighs as he scoffs, grumbling under his breath. “But no, you rather go lay under Yangyang’s half naked body”

“You know, it awfully sounds like you’re jealous”

Jaemin’s head has never turned so quickly, he swears he heard a crack as he stares at you with wide eyes. That’s preposterous!! Completely absurd!! Never in his life has Jaemin been jealous nor would he ever be jealous of Yangyang. His mouth drops open in shock at the accusation, disbelief written all over his features. “Me? Jealous?”

You smile with a nod. “Mhm”

He scoffs at that, shaking his head with a laugh. “You’re kidding, right? Rule number three, baby… no jealousy. I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous? There’s nothing to be jealous of… god, imagine being jealous of Yangyang of all people—what are you doing?”

“Nothing” You say, but it seems like a whole lot of nothing to Jaemin as he watches you get down on your knees in front of him, your hands running up his thighs over his jeans, lightly skimming his own hands that littered in tiny goosebumps, a chill going up his spine. “You’re kinda hot when you sound ‘not’ jealous”

“I’m really not jealous…” His voice is light, feathery, unable to push out his real voice as he’s too entranced with the way you’re looking at him, touching him. Jaemin’s lips press together tightly, remaining silent as he watches you undo the buttons on his jeans and pull down his zipper. He lifts his hips instinctively, assisting you in taking them off and he bites at his cheek to stay quiet at the slowness of you tugging his jeans down his legs. 

He hates the fact he’s so turned on by your minimal movements, eyes flicking down to the bulge in his boxers. His fists clench, ears warm in embarrassment. Fucking pathetic. He watches you lean forwards, mouth ghosting over his covered cock and pressing light kisses which makes him curse aloud, fingers deathly gripping the armrest of his chair as your kisses turn into wet suckles. His cock strains uncomfortably against his boxers, begging to be release and touched but he fucking loves seeing you like this, on your knees between his spread legs, pleasing him, making him feel good. 

Jaemin breathes heavily, his hand coming down to touch the back of your head, affectionately smoothing your hair, silently praising you, but something in him switches when you finally look up to meet his eyes, lips suckling on the covered tip. His own eyes darken, demeanour doing a complete 180 at the innocent look plastered across your face.

“You want to please me, baby?” He asks you, voice deep and gravelly. He licks at his lips, pushing your head even closer to him, boxers soiled and cock stretching the fabric. “You want to make up for the fact you left me for Yangyang? Hm? Make me feel good, baby… make me cum”

• • •

“J-Jaemin…” Your broken moans fill his room along with the music that blasts from his speakers, along with the sound of skin slapping as he holds you up against the bedroom wall, fingers gripping the meaty flesh of your thighs, your ankles locked at the bottom of his spine to keep you upright. 

He mouths at your throat, licking and biting at the skin, creating the most prettiest of marks to decorate. Your arms wrap tightly around his shoulders, one hand gripping his shoulder while the other hand lays on the back of his head, pulling at his hair and sighs of pleasure leaves Jaemin’s lips, grunting every now and then when he feels your pussy tighten around his cock.

His skin is clammy, he’s so unbelievably sweaty and turned on at how you try to conceal your moans but end up blending it with the song that plays in the background, his favourite song. Are you his favourite person? Jeno can't give him the pleasure and the satisfaction you’re giving him right now, or continuously give him (even though, if pushed, Jeno would probably do it like the freak he is)… maybe Jeno’s losing his number one spot?

Jaemin grunts as he feels the heel of your foot dig into his lower back, cock shifting deeper inside and hitting at an angle that has you whining in his ears, pleading and begging him to go harder, to go faster.

“You take me so well, baby” He praises you. “You’re doing such a good job”

“Jaemin” You cry out, tears brimming in your eyes as your head flings back against the wall and the loud hit rings in his eyes. He worries that you’ve hurt yourself, grip loosening on your thighs, completely forgetting that he was the one holding you up against the wall as he goes to cradle the back of your head but you begin to slip and he fumbles, losing his balance completely and he tries his hardest to catch you but fails to do so, tripping over his own feet and stumbling backwards to the hard wooden floorboards with you following suit.

He grunts as his back makes contact with the ground, the air knocking out of his lungs as you land on his chest with a huff, your head knocking his collarbone. Your mumble about something that he can’t understand, rubbing at the sore spot on the middle of your forehead as you roll off of him, face contorted in pain and Jaemin takes a hesitant peek down at his cock, afraid he’d see it bent and misshapen from the heavy fall but he lets out a breath of relief when he sees it still intact. 

“Are you alright?” Jaemin asks you next, a hand coming around to cup your face, his thumb glides across your cheekbone as he turns your head to face him. The second you meet his eyes, a laugh bubbles from your chest, trying your best to stifle it behind closed lips but the sight of you trying not to laugh makes his lips curl, unable to control his own laugh.

“I’m alright” You confirm and Jaemin grins, replacing your hand as it drops in your lap, rubbing the small and unnoticeable lump on your forehead. “You’re an idiot, Na Jaemin. How did you forget you were holding my weight?!”

“Sorry for being concerned about you hitting your head against the wall like some possessed person” Jaemin teases, poking the tender lump and laughing when you swat his hand away. His brow raises, a cocky smirk spreading across his lips. “Didn’t realise my dick could do that to you”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Na” Jaemin’s bottom lip get caught between his teeth as you place your hands on his shoulders to climb onto his lap and he looks up at you with hazy eyes as you push him, his back resting against the wooden floorboards again. He pushes his sweaty bangs out of his eyes before resting his hands at your hips as you take a hold of his cock, rubbing the tip on your wet folds and his eyes roll to the back of his head. Oh how he wishes he wasn’t wearing a condom right now, but even though he so desperately wants to feel your slick cover him completely, he doesn’t want to risk anything dangerous. He’ll just have to suffer. 

A groan rumbles in his chest as he watches you sit yourself down on his cock, burying him to the hilt. His fingers dig into your hips, surely leaving a bruise for later but neither of you seem to care, not when you begin to desperately grind against him for some friction. 

“Still in the mood even after falling and hurting yourself?” He light-heartedly teases, a brow raised as he stares up at you. “That’s pretty kinky”

“I made you cum by shoving your cock down my throat earlier” Your palms press against his chest with a smirk. “Now it’s my turn”

Jaemin has never moved so fast, holding you securely as he flips the two of you over, positioning himself in between your thighs and hoving over you. He sets a rhythm with his hips, pounding in and out of your pussy that squelches with each thrust. Jaemin revels in the feeling of your hands groping his body desperately, thumbs tweaking his nipples, nails raking down his toned stomach. Your fingers twirl around the chain necklace and yank him down, smushing your lips against his in a messy kiss that sends Jaemin’s head swirling. There’s drool, there’s spit, there’s teeth nipping, all things that Jaemin would usually find disgusting but doing it with you… it’s so different, a good difference… but he can’t explain. 

You’re rocking your hips up to meet his movements, pussy tightening around his throbbing cock and he grunts in the kiss, brows pulled together in concentration as he tries his hardest not to cum right then and there. He removes his lips from yours, looking down at where your bodies connect, slick covering the condom and his abdomen which makes him groan, the sight too hot for him to handle.

“You gonna cum again?” Your voice teases and Jaemin’s head shoots up to meet your eyes, seeing the way your lips curl into a smirk. You gasp in fake shock. “Are you really going to cum again, Jaemin?”

“Fuck you” Jaemin growls, leaning backwards to grip the back of your legs to pull them over his shoulder as he lays over you, bending you in a position that has him hitting deeper. He watches the smirk disappear off of your face as your mouth drops open in pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head as a strangled moan rips from the back of your throat. Jaemin smiles this time, lips brushing against your own. “Yeah… that’s what I thought, baby”

• • •

Jaemin would've never thought that in a million years he would be inside of Sunwoo's house with his fingers interlocked with yours, pushing through the sea of sweaty and drunk bodies, trying to find a clear path to get to Jeno and the others.

He doesn’t really understand why he agreed to come to Sunwoo (and apparently Yeeun’s) house party, he doesn’t like crowds and he knows that you didn’t want to be here because of Eric… So why did Jaemin spend the entire afternoon trying to convince you? Why was he being so consistent?

A part of him believes he wants to have fun, to spend more time with his friends and you in public, not wanting to constantly be behind closed doors and limited spaced rooms. The majority of his time spent with you has always been inside, maybe there’s a few café stops here and there, but it’s never been more than that.

But then there’s the other part of him, the other part that believes he’s here because of him, because of Eric. He wants to shove it in Eric’s face how happier you are without him, to show how you’re simply better off without that pink haired fucker in your life. 

Since you opened up to Jaemin about your previous relationship with Eric, his hatred for him grew even more, understanding why Jeno and the others completely abandoned Eric during the breakup. Truthfully, Jaemin never really liked Eric. His presence around the house bothered him whenever Jeno had him over, his attitude made him want to throw a punch across his jaw and how cocky Eric seemed about how easy it was to get girls irked Jaemin to the core. 

He hoped he could make Eric feel just as annoyed, or maybe even more, when he realises you came with him tonight. That you are in a friends with benefits relationship with him.

“You guys made it!!!” Miwoo happily cheers, loud enough to hear over the speakers that fill the house as she rips herself from Jeno’s arms to land in yours. Jaemin feels your hand pull from his to capture your friend, steadying her on her own feet as she points over at Donghyuck. “I told you they were going to change their minds! You owe me twenty, babyyyyy”

“Fuck you” Donghyuck grumbles angrily beneath his breath, digging inside his pocket to fish out his wallet, pulling a twenty from the pouch and slamming it on the table which Miwoo happily retrieves to stuff it inside her bra. Jaemin rolls his eyes as he watches Miwoo skip back over to Jeno who drunkenly grins up at her before smothering his face in between her breasts. Gross. 

He almost opens his mouth to complain when you go over to sit down beside a faded out Yangyang but he catches himself quickly, clearing his throat as he settles down on a open space beside Renjun and Haru who seem to be in their own little world, sharing drunk smiles at each other and lingering touches. Cute.

“So…” Jaemin’s attention pulls away from you, his eyes darting to the source of the voice. Jeno stares back at him, eyes slightly red and dazed, hair dishevelled from Miwoo running her fingers through it. “Did you change her mind or did she change yours?”

“Mutual decision” He answers, although it was a lie. He changed yours. “We were bored at home, thought we would be better off here”

“I doubt it” Miwoo smiles teasingly, adjusting herself on Jeno’s thigh and wrapping an arm around his shoulder while he secures her waist. “You guys are in a friends with benefits relationship, meaning you guys fuck. No one gets bored of fucking, sweetheart. I think you’re here for one reason and one reason only”

Jaemin quirks a brow. “And what’s that?”

“Eric”

Jaemin’s tongue prods at his cheek in irritance at the name, a half-hearted chuckle slipping past his lips as he shakes his head. He hates the fact Miwoo can read him so easily and how quick she can get under his skin with just simple words. He’s aware of how scarily good she is at reading people too, having come across these moments more times than he can count on his fingers, but Jaemin wasn’t going to allow her to have her fun.

“We came here because we wanted to, alright?” Miwoo goes to open her mouth to come back at his words but Jaemin is quick to add on. “Enough, I’m serious”

“Jaemin…” Jeno speaks his name in a warning tone, shaking his head when he meets his eyes. It was a silent way to tell him to, simply, shut the fuck up. Jaemin wants to bite back, to whine about how Miwoo started it like a child would to its mother, but he remains quiet as he reaches for Renjun’s half empty cup of alcohol and downing it in a second. 

Renjun blinks before comically turning to face Haru who laughs loudly, almost slipping off of his thigh if it weren’t for the grip around her waist keeping her steady. Jaemin grimaces at the burn that slides down the back of his throat, turning his head to put his attention back on you but he double takes when he sees Yangyang’s head buried in your neck, mouthing words against your skin while his hands wander around your body.

Jaemin’s brows furrow at that, watching Yangyang’s dainty fingers grip the material of your shirt to tug you closer to him as he raises his head. Yangyang’s out of it, completely gone, eyes bloodshot red and half lidded, unable to keep them open and your concern is obvious, especially when you cup his face in your hands to which Jaemin assesses from afar, wondering if he should step in and help or at least offer some assistance but you’re shooting up from your seat, rushing over in the direction of the kitchen while Yangyang incoherently complains, slurring his words and falling into Donghyuck’s side. 

Jaemin’s eyes struggle to follow you once he sees you disappear around the corner, out of sight. He fiddles with the ring on his middle finger, heavily debating on whether to get up and follow you like some lost puppy or to stay put, to continue drinking with the others and get as drunk as they are. 

“Go” Renjun’s voice speaks up, urging him with a gentle shove on his shoulder. Jaemin turns his head, meeting his eyes with his own confused ones but Renjun nods his head, the corner of his lips twitching upwards. “It’s cool, man… Just go”

Jaemin could possibly kiss Renjun right now if it wasn’t for him turning his attention back to Haru and planting a smooch on her cheeks. Jaemin shoots up from his seat, almost knocking over the beer cans that scatter amongst the glass coffee table as his shoes drag across the floorboards, running his fingers through his locks as he frustratingly pushes through the mass of sweaty, dancing bodies. 

He almost snaps when someone tries to touch his face, their fingers grazing over the tip of his nose, but he pauses all movements when he finally sees you, and you’re with Eric. 

His heartbeat feels loud as fuck in his ears, body buzzing with a unfamiliar feeling that makes him feel choked and a little sick. His nostrils flare when he sees the baggy Eric’s got in his hands, holding out a little red heart shaped pill in between your bodies. He can’t make out the words Eric’s speaking to you but the look on your face is enough to let him know how uncomfortable and unsure you’re feeling, he doesn’t miss the emotion that flashes in your eyes either when he sees the way you’re staring down at the pill.

Are you…? Jaemin’s brows pull together the second Eric brings the pill up to his lips and his feet start moving, not fully realising what’s going on until he realises how close he’s getting to you. His hand reaches out, plucking the pill out of his fingers all while remaining eye contact with the pick headed boy. There’s hardly no hesitancy when Jaemin opens his mouth, tongue poking out to lay the pill on the wet muscle before he turns his attention to you, who looks as shocked as ever as Jaemin places his hand on the back of your neck to drag you into a kiss, thrusting his tongue in between your lips to transfer the pill onto your own. 

He doesn’t pull away, he stays. Lips locking together in a heated kiss, a clash of tongue and teeth, fingers tugging the hairs at the back of your neck. It’s all for show, he thinks, eyes fluttering open to briefly glance at Eric who struggles to speak as he stares at you both.

Jaemin breaks the kiss to grab the last pill out of the baggy Eric holds, popping the drug in his mouth while watching the latter splutter his words, hands dropping to his sides, fists clenched.

Eric looks like he wants to kill Jaemin and Jaemin thrives off of it. He can’t help it, nor can he help the smirk that slithers it’s way across his lips as his adams apple bobs when he swallows the pill, eyes refusing to leave Eric’s which fill with annoyance and anger. Jaemin wants Eric to speak up or to even do something about what just happened, the toxic part of his mind wanting to cause a scene in front of everyone, to make Eric look like a fool.

But life doesn’t turn out that way, not when he feels your hand curl around his arm to pull him away from the scene, dragging him out of the kitchen and out of Eric’s sight. 

“What the hell was that about?” You question him but he barely hears it over the music and his own thoughts, chest swelling with pride and cheeks burning from the wide smile that’s on his face at the images of Eric almost crumbling in his spot at the thought of his ex-girlfriend finally being taken away from him. 

The adrenaline that pumps through Jaemin’s veins is enough for him to move quickly, pulling his arm out of your grasp to rest around your shoulders to pull you into his side, twirling the ends your hair around his fingers as he turns to look at you, that’s when he notices you are speaking to him.

“Jae?” You pull a face at him as you repeat your last question.

“I was watching you, noticed how uncomfortable you were” He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. “But I told you, didn’t I? I got you”

You roll your eyes, remembering the conversation you had earlier when Jaemin was convincing you to come to the party, promising that he’s got you in any situation. That he’s always there to help you out. “Yeah, yeah, you got me”

Jaemin beams at that, glancing around at the crowd of sweaty bodies that dance to the music, eyebrows twitching when he sees Mia standing a few feet ahead of him, manicured fingernails wrapped around a plastic cup, dark eyes staring daggers at you under his arm. 

He takes a deep breath. “Plus, I wanted to show him”

“Show him what?”

Jaemin pulls his eyes away from Mia’s to look at you, scanning your face and taking in every single detail he could see. Your makeup, your lips, your brows scrunched together and eyes filled with confusion and wonder. It makes his heart melt at the sight, almost makes him coo out loud and pinch your cheeks but he holds back, deciding to lead closer to your face to slowly whisper,

“To show him what he’s missing out on, baby”

He didn’t really expect you to act drastically, maybe get a little flustered and shy at his forwardness, but he definitely didn’t expect you to lurch forwards, crushing your lips against his in a hurried kiss in front of everyone. His eyes widen comically, a laugh spluttering past his lips in shock before he melts into the touch, placing his hand on your cheek in a light grip to deepen the kiss.

He tries to clumsily guide you both to the lounge area where the others remain, but he struggles due to the bodies bumping into him and tripping over your shoes so he decides to stay put, heat rising up his neck as he feels you grip his necklace to pull him close as possible, ignoring the sounds of groups hollering and calling out his and your names, accepting that this might be your answer to the two of you becoming exclusive. 

• • •

You look happy.

That’s the word Jaemin would use to describe you right now, watching from the sidelines as you dance to the music with Miwoo and Jeno at your side, arms carelessly thrown in the air, moving your hips to the beat and to Miwoo’s movements. He watches how you feel the rhythm, holding Miwoo’s waist as you sway back and forth, giggling and laughing with each other and whispering things into each other's ear.

Jaemin’s curious, wondering what the two of you could be whispering about as he brings the joint to his lips to take a hit, inhaling deeply for that satisfying burn at the back of his throat before passing it over to Donghyuck who whines for it, holding out it hands in grabbing  motions which, surprisingly, Jaemin laughs at, shaking his head. Yangyang stands in between him and Donghyuck, smoking his own joint and bobbing along to the music, spluttering out a laugh and cheers as he points at Shotaro who drunkenly dances with Yeji. 

He spots Haru and Renjun dancing together in the corner, sharing a few light kisses and lingering touches which Haru grins at, covering her mouth to laugh but Renjun tugs her hand away to kiss her again. Jaemin smiles at that, lifting a can of beer to his lips as his eyes wander around the room, freezing immediately as he sees Miwoo cling to you, her lips pressed to yours in a soft kiss.

Jeno’s gasping dramatically, slapping the palm of his hand over his mouth, capturing the attention of Donghyuck and Yangyang who gape at the sight in front of them, jaws dropping and eyes widening. Jaemin’s not sure how to react, although he finds the picture quite interesting to say the least, but he’s never seen you like this before, kissing another person. He’s aware of how Miwoo is, knowing that she’ll comfortably lock lips with anyone as long as Jeno approves. 

Although, his amusement drops the second he sees Miwoo part away from you to place her hand on the back of Jeno’s head, bringing him forwards to press against you and Jeno wastes no time as his lips get caught with yours. Jaemin’s fingers tighten around the can in his hand as Donghyuck and Yangyang cough uncontrollably, stumbling over their own feet as they try and get a closer look, even rubbing their eyes to see if they’re seeing things. 

“Dude… either I’m seeing Jeno making out with Y/N and Miwoo or Sunwoo gave us some hard new shit” Donghyuck’s voice rasps, staring down at the joint in his hand before his head flicks up to the trio. “I’m really hoping it’s the former”

“Would’ve been perfect if Jeno’s fat head wasn’t in the way” Yangyang grumbles, taking a quick hit of the blunt before trying to pass it to Jaemin who fails to notice, eyes trained on the way Jeno’s tongue is pushing in between your lips, the steamy and wet kiss leaving a uncomfortable feeling in his throat. Yangyang bumps his shoulder to get his attention. “Bro, take it or I’m smoking the rest”

“Think Jaemin’s a little jealous” Donghyuck teases, gently tugging the earring dangling from Jaemin’s ear before he sighs heavily, side glancing at the trio. “Not gonna lie, I am too… some good jerk off material though—”

“You are seriously not getting your phone out right now”

“You bet I am” Donghyuck responds to Yangyang, cackling as he pats down his pockets to locate his phone, only to immediately shriek when he declares it missing. Jaemin pays no attention, eyes narrowing in on Jeno licking into your mouth and swirling his tongue around Miwoo’s when hers joins in on the action. The position looks awkward to Jaemin, not fully understanding how it could be comfortable to have a three-way-kiss but Jaemin’s already striding forwards when you finally part from them both, allowing the couple to indulge in each other.

Jaemin bends his knees slightly when he reaches you, promptly throwing you over his shoulders with a hand resting on your ass to hold down your skirt as he carries you away from the others, ignoring the protests and the questions that spill from you as he pushes through the crowd, glaring down those who stared at your legs far too long or even tried to take a peek up your skirt, fingers digging into the material to drag it down further to hide your panties. 

You’re uncontrollably laughing now, gripping the backs of Jaemin’s thighs as he weaves his way through the hallways of the house, biting back his own laugh when he teasingly threatens to drop you and you pinch him in warning but his demeanour changes when a random drunk tries to reach out for your legs to join in on the fun, forcefully pushing him out of the way and almost kicking him until he realises he’s close to the bathroom he’s been searching for.

He places you down on your two feet, steadying you as you stumble forwards before moving to the bathroom door, shutting and making sure the lock was secure before he slowly turns towards you, body buzzing with the way you’re looking at him through hooded lids.

“Did you lock us in here?” Your voice sounds sultry, sends shivers down his spine and his lips curl into a grin, his eyes dark as he nods slowly. He lets you reach out for him, fingers toying with the front of his shirt as you pull him towards you, looking up at him with wide and innocent eyes, even though Jaemin could see right through you. “And what are you going to do to me behind this lock door?”

“I want to punish you” He speaks, voice dark and scary. You blink up at him in surprise, clearly not expecting that answer but he doesn’t give you time to think about it, kissing your lips softly before he moves away, not wanting to get too carried away as he slowly drops to his knees. “But I also want to make you feel really good”

His hands run up your thighs beneath your skirt, fingers hooking the strap of your underwear to pull them down your legs all while remaining eye contact, breathing heavily as you perch yourself on top of the bathroom counter, spreading your legs wide enough for him to fit in between. Jaemin fights the urge to smile at how eager you are for him as he strokes your thighs, creating goosebumps in his path. The effect he has on you makes him proud, his ego being boosted as he realises that he is the only one that can make you feel whatever you are feeling right now. 

It’s exhilarating. 

“Jaemin…” His name flows from your mouth in a soft whisper as he pokes out his tongue, pressing the wet muscle flat against your folds before licking a clean strip from your quivering hole to your clit, the taste of your essence hitting his tongue and he grunts, already craving for more. He tilts his head to the side, admiring your wet pussy, feeling his cock stir in his pants at the way his spit and your arousal glisten from the bathroom light above your heads. His mouth waters for another taste, almost afraid he’d start to dribble if he stares any longer but he’s captivated.

He shifts uncomfortably on his knees, cock straining against the confinements of his boxers and pants, and he goes to take them off, to finally free himself but all he can think about right now is diving in between his girl’s legs and devouring her sweet little pussy.

Jaemin pauses for a brief moment, stunned at the thoughts that run through his head. My girl? His mouth dries, eyes trailing up your body to your face, meeting your desperate eyes and the giddy smile that’s etched on your face. My girl? His heart thumps in his chest, struggling to form any sort of sentence or ask the question that's on the tip of his tongue, but it dawns on him, the realisation of what you are to him right now.

You’re exclusive. You’re exclusive friends with benefits. He doesn’t want anyone else, he wants you. You seem to not want anyone else either, hopefully you just want him. Nothing else matters, right?

My girl? The question lingers in his head again, yet he has the answer this time, a smile tugging at his lips. Yeah, my girl.

• • •

Jaemin is experiencing the hangover from hell. His head pounds with excruciating pain, mouth drier than the desert and he feels like he’s about to vomit everything he consumed last night. His muscles ache in ways he’s afraid he’s not going to be able to do much for the day, although he doesn’t exactly have anything important planned, and the light in your bathroom is too much for his sensitive eyes, one hand coming up to cover them while the other helps him pee, carefully peeking through his fingers just in case he accidentally directs his stream elsewhere. 

Last night was all one big blur, despite him remembering a few small details like how he made a fool out of Eric and that you decided to become exclusive with him, and maybe he remembers eating you out and then fucking you against the sink in Sunwoo’s bathroom… maybe. 

He doesn’t remember coming back to your apartment after the party, but waking up in between your legs, cosying up with you beneath a blanket on the sofa proves that he must’ve had a good night. He did wonder why the two of you were sleeping on the sofa and not in your bed, but his question was answered when he peered his head through the crack of your bedroom door before he went to piss and saw Yangyang, Donghyuck and Shotaro sprawled out across your bed, sheets and pillows thrown everywhere. They must’ve had a good night too. 

But what Jaemin needed right now was a well deserved shower. He felt so sweaty, so dirty, and the fact that he was still wearing last night's clothes just shows how bad he needed this shower.

He turns on the hot water after relieving himself, weakly stretching and groaning at the dull ache at the back of his neck and the bottom of his spine, internally cursing for letting his drunken self sleep on the sofa when he knows he should’ve kicked the boys out of your room, but he knows it was probably you that offered your room to them. You’re too sweet.

With a tired yawn, Jaemin digs his hand inside his pants pocket to grab his phone, brows pulling together at the amount of texts and instagram notifications that fill up his lockscreen, immediately his texts first and sighing when he sees Junghoon’s name.

junghoon(class): DUD E junghoon(class): ARE YOU AND ERICS EX GIRFRIEND DATINg????? junghoon(class): istg i jus saw u and her makeout at sunwoos party junghoon(class): ok no deadass i think im watchi u walk upstars with her man junghoon(class): NA??? ARE YOU FUCKING HR junghoon(class): u literally have the best luck im ovr it

Jaemin snickers at the messages, shaking his head at Junghoon’s drunk texts. He debates on whether to message back, to correct him on yours and his situation, but he decides against it, deciding to be actually decent for once, although he knows he’ll regret it once Junghoon teases him in class about being caring and considerate.

jaemin: lol jaemin: hope u got home ok jaemin: good luck with that hangover man lmao

Swiping off of the texts, he checks his instagram this time to see the endless amount of posts the group had posted of last night, a genuine smile forming on his lips at the ones he’s tagged in, some with his arms wrapped around you and others with Jeno, truly seeming to enjoy himself and he double taps his screen to like the photos, even going as far as screenshotting the ones he liked most and sharing others on his story, adding a simple smiley face at the bottom. 

But his own smile slowly fades from his face as notices a familiar name on the recent instagram stories, his thumb slowly coming up to click the icon and his heart drops into his stomach once he sees what’s been posted.

Eunbin’s bright smile fills his phone screen, excitingly holding a plane ticket in her hands with fancy text written across the photo that captions: going home soon! And green heart emojis placed in different areas with a singular plane emoji. 

Jaemin almost drops his phone from how clammy his hands have gotten, heart pounding heavily and a high pitched ring fills his ears. Eunbin’s coming home? Has it already been that long? He pockets his phone before his arms motionlessly fall to his side, head clouding with countless thoughts and emotions, unable to truly pinpoint which emotion he wants to focus on more so his face remains stoic, but his mind is chaotic. 

He isn’t sure how he feels about Eunbin coming back home, but he knows he’s far from happy and excited. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to see her. He doesn’t want anything to do with her at all, and if somehow by any chance she had suddenly waltzed into your bathroom to strike up a conversation with him, he would lose it.

Would she even come and talk even after everything? Jaemin wonders to himself, fingers twitching at his side in annoyance. He’s ignored her texts, he’s ignored her calls… he’s even gone as far as blocking her number off of his phone so he doesn’t have to see her name anymore (curse him for forgetting about instagram) so surely Eunbin understands the situation? Right?

He shuts his eyes tightly, wanting to forget about everything, wanting to erase the thoughts inside of his head and he struggles deeply, his teeth gritting together in frustration and his fists ball at his sides, trying to focus on the sound of the water spouting from the showerhead but nothing works, nothing ever works, until you walk in.

Jaemin hears you behind him, reopening his eyes and turning to look over his shoulder, seeing you standing at the door with your fresh clothes in hand. All his worries, all his problems, all of his struggles immediately slip away and his body relaxes, relief washing through him as he meets your eyes and the softest of smiles spread across his lips. 

“Hi” He whispers, unable to really find his voice as he watches you walk over to him. His head dips low when he feels your arm brush against his, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss out of pure instinct. He likes that you don’t pull away, unable to hide the grin on his face which makes it hard for him to continue kissing you. 

“Hi” You greet him back, putting space between you and him to get rid of your clothes, freely changing in front of him into some jeans and one of his sweatshirts which he doesn’t mind, leaning his back against the sick as he watches. His brows pull together in confusion when he realises exactly what you’re doing, opening his mouth to question where you're heading but you’re already beating him to it. “Miwoo, Haru and I are going to grab some burgers for everyone from that new burger shack in town. Everyone’s hungry”

Jaemin makes a noise, nodding his head before he offers, “Want me to come after I shower?”

“It’s okay. The others are staying, you should too” You shake your head, turning to look at him with one of your gentle smiles that makes his chest erupt with warmth, the proximity allowing him to duck his head down to capture your lips with his but you move back slightly, eyebrow raised as you look at him. “Is this your way of trying to persuade me into letting you come?”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “Is it working?”

“Not at all” You giggle, finally allowing him to kiss you. He sighs softly at the feeling of your lips on his, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, tilting his head to the side for better leverage to kiss you deeper. Goosebumps crawl across his skin when he feels your hands rest at his hips, fingers clutching the material of his shirt, pulling him so close he’s wondering if there was any more space between the two of you.

He wants you to stay. He doesn’t want you to leave right now, especially after kissing you like this and having you so close to him. Jaemin hopes he’s conveying his words through his actions, holding your face in his grasp a little tighter as he tries to back you up to the counter but you’re resisting against him which makes him whine, lips jutting out in a pout as you break the kiss.

“I know what you’re trying to do” You grin at him, pinching his side teasingly and he jerks, a laugh spluttering past his lips as he pushes your hands away from him. “I’ll be five minutes, tops”

“Yeah?” He hums, head tilting to the side as he looks down at you. “And then you’ll be all mine?”

He sees how your eyes widen slightly at that, shocked by the forwardness of his words and he holds back on making a comment about how shy you seem to be despite the urge to tease laying on the tip of his tongue, quickly turning his head to check the temperature of the water that’s been running a little longer than necessary, not even getting a chance to hear what you said over the noise before he turns back to you, changing the topic completely without fully realising it.

“Don’t be long, okay?” Jaemin presses a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll kick the boys out of your bed once you’re back so we can watch a movie or something”

You blink slowly, brows furrowing together for a brief moment before you snort. “Good luck with that. They’ll want to join”

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly before he tugs the shirt over his head, throws it to the side and hooks his thumbs beneath the waistband of his sweats as he turns to you with a smirk. “I’ll just lock the door”

• • •

“Get up. Get the fuck out. Out. Leave”

“Please! No!” Donghyuck whines loudly, clinging tightly to the pillow beneath his head and wrapping his legs around Shotaro and Yangyang’s frames as Jaemin barges in through the bedroom door, swatting the trio that are on your double sized bed. Jaemin’s hand wraps around Donghyuck’s ankle to yank him out from the bed but a battle cry rips from the back of his throat, succeeding in waking up the two next to him who lift their heads in a daze, confused on what’s going on. 

“What’s happening?” Shotaro groggily asks as he tries to sit up from beneath Yangyang’s arm and Donghyuck’s leg.

“He’s going to kill me!!!” Donghyuck cries out as he fights back against Jaemin’s constant tugging. Yangyang glances at the pair with an unamused expression, rolling his eyes as he drops his head back down to the pillow, cuddling back up to Shotaro who continues to watch with wide eyes. Jaemin grabs Donghyuck’s other ankle when he swings his leg to attack him, making sure he has a tight grip as he uses up all of his strength to rip Donghyuck off of the mattress, the latter crumbling to the floor with a scream.

Jaemin’s chest heaves heavily, looking down at Donghyuck’s form on the floor before slowly raising his head to Shotaro who looks puffy from tiredness, his hair sticking in all sorts of directions and lips pouting out at what just happened. Jaemin smiles softly at Shotaro, muttering a quiet good morning to the boy before fisting the back of Yangyang’s shirt and throwing him off of the bed.

Yangyang grunts as his back makes contact with the ground, curling into a ball as he winces at the pain that spreads up his spin. Donghyuck pats Yangyang’s leg sympathetically as he pushes himself to stand and Jaemin pays no attention to the glare that’s sent his way, too busy making the bed as Shotaro climbs out untouched.

“What was that for?!” Donghyuck shouts, not caring that he almost bursts everyone’s eardrums at his pitch.

“I need the room” Jaemin answers calmly as he fluffs the pillows. “Me and Y/N are gonna watch a movie”

“A movie sounds good” Yangyang confesses, holding his thumb up to accept the ungiven invitation.

Jaemin turns to face him with a blank expression as he deadpans, “I’m locking the door. It’s just me and her”

“You’re watching a movie without us?” Donghyuck sasses, placing his hands on his waist as he cocks his hip out, giving Jaemin a look. “We’re all here and you’re just gonna watch a movie without us? That’s a bitch move, Jaemin. You’re a bitch”

“And you stink” Jaemin mumbles, pushing at Donghyuck’s shoulder who gasps, touching his shoulder in offence. “Go shower. The girls will be back with burgers soon”

“Burgers?” Donghyuck’s attitude does a complete 180 and he grins, eyes shining brightly as he snatches Shotaro’s hand in his. “Let's go shower!!”

Shotaro whines in protest as he’s tugged out of the bedroom, his complaining being cut off by a loud slam of the bathroom door. Yangyang barely moves, staring up at Jaemin from the floor with a look in his eye that Jaemin can only describe as annoyance. He has a gut feeling on why Yangyang’s annoyed but he tries to ignore it as he continues making the bed.

“You should to shower too” Jaemin tells him, finishing the last touches by tucking in your blanket. “You s—”

“Are you exclusive now?” There it is. Jaemin sighs, straightening his back as he looks at Yangyang who rises to his feet, eyes trained on Jaemin. He nods and Yangyang’s brows furrow. “Your choice or hers?”

“Does it matter?” Jaemin asks and he sees Yangyang’s shoulders sag slightly, seeming defeated. Jaemin feels hurt by this, his chest heavy and throat tightening but he doesn’t comment on it. There’s no need for him to feel hurt by Yangyang’s expression. 

“I guess not” Yangyang whispers with a shake of his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he disappears out of the room, leaving Jaemin standing alone in the middle of your bedroom. Jaemin lets out a deep exhale, running his fingers through his hair as he sits down at the edge of the bed, his head overcrowded with thoughts that he desperately wants gone, making him too confused and feeling too many things at once.

Was becoming exclusive with you not a good idea? It’s what he wanted, it’s what you wanted. He talked about it with you, he said there was no rush… but you did hesitate at first when he asked you… but you kissed him after you took some time to think right? In front of everyone? Jaemin surely thinks that was your way of agreeing to become exclusive with him. What else could it possibly mean?

Jaemin curses to himself, tired of overthinking over a small thing. The problem was it wasn’t small, it was anything but small. Jaemin’s aware it’s a big change in your friends with benefits situation you have, becoming exclusive even after one of the rules being placed that you. were. not. exclusive. Both broke a rule, Jaemin thinks, rule two was broken by both, not just him. It was a mutual decision. 

But one question lingered in Jaemin’s mind, has it always been a mutual decision?

“You good?” Jeno’s voice rips Jaemin out of his thoughts, his darting over to the sudden sound to see Jeno hovering in the bedroom doorway, pulling a shirt over his head to cover his toned chest and torso. Jaemin doesn’t give him a verbal answer, opting to nod as he stands up from the edge of the bed. Jeno doesn’t seem convinced. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking”

Jeno presses, “About?”

“It’s nothing” Jaemin dismisses, shaking his head which he hears Jeno sigh at. His brows pull together, eyes narrowing in on Jeno. “What?”

“You know what” Jeno bites back, stepping further into the bedroom. “Just talk to me, man. Are you thinking about what happened last night? Between you and Y/N?”

“Kinda” Jaemin huffs, scratching the back of his neck. “It was a mutual decision, by the way… mutual. But with everyone talking about it and with Yangyang acting all…” Jaemin pauses to sigh, leaning his head back in frustration for letting Yangyang’s emotions get to him. “Do you think becoming exclusive with her was a good idea?”

Jeno purses his lips in thought. “Is she cool with it?”

“Yeah, I mean, she’s the one that kissed me in front of everyone”

“Okay” Jeno nods. “Are you cool with it?”

Jaemin scoffs at that. “Obviously”

“Then yeah, becoming exclusive was a good idea” Jaemin struggles to seem convinced by Jeno’s words despite the sincerity in them, the honesty pooling in his eyes. Jeno reaches out to playfully hit Jaemin’s shoulder, hoping to cheer him up. “Who cares about what other people think, right? As long as you two are both fine with whatever is going on between you—”

“We’re still friends with benefits” Jaemin cuts Jeno off quickly, a little too quickly which makes Jeno’s brows raise in surprise and heat creep up Jaemin’s neck from embarrassment, but he coughs to clear his throat. “We’re still friends with benefits… we’re just exclusive friends with benefits, that’s all that's changed”

“Riiight…” Jeno drags out, seemingly suspicious and Jaemin feels a bit taken back, wanting to question him further but Jeno doesn’t give him time as he’s already asking, “Have you ever thought about being more? Has that ever crossed your mind at all?”

“Don’t ask me that…” Jaemin speaks quietly this time and Jeno knows he’s hurt a nerve, a frown making its way onto his lips. Jaemin feels a little choked up, sick even, but it wasn’t at the thought of becoming more with you, it was because the thought of becoming something to somebody so early into the heartbreak he’s still recovering from. He wasn’t ready. Maybe he’ll never be ready. 

Love scares him, relationships scare him. He doesn’t want past mistakes and the pain to repeat, not anytime soon and preferably not ever again. He doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want to fall in love. He wants to have fun and he definitely wants a distraction, and that’s exactly what you are. He hopes he’s still the same to you too.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:- (sorry if i missed out on people and sorry if this doesn't work. i've had trouble with it a few times)

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Kinktober day 24 - Body paint (m)

pairing: ten x female!reader

word count: 678

warnings: body paint - kink focused on the concentrated sensations that paintbrushes, fingers, and tongues can bring

Keep reading

Like The Stars Pt. 4

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

Pairing: jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, sex lessons au, friends to lovers

Word Count: ~8,3k

Includes: high school seniors (everyone is legal of age); canon bisexual mc; side characters donghyuck, renjun, and karina; profanities; obviously, sex lessons; kind of a slow burn?; idiots in love/miscommunication sort of (you decide which one fits better); does this count as semi-public sex? they’re on a balcony; protected sex! ft. thigh riding; my precious little nonsense epilogue

Summary: you’d had a crush on renjun for as long as you could remember, but your lack of experience always stopped you from taking the first step; it’s a good thing you have your trusted friend jaemin to help you out

Author’s note: the day is upon us, i present to you the finale of this short story ! thank you so much to everyone who stuck by and loved it until the end, you’re the best <33 disclaimer: do i hate miscommunication as a trope? yes; could they have resolved things easily and cutely? definitely; did writing it this way take ten years off my life? absolutely; do i have any regrets whatsoever? nope. plz don’t hate me, ehe~ you can shout at me about it tho, if you want! second disclaimer: the movie mentioned in this is included only to serve as a plot device, also the title of the story finally makes sense yayy

When you got to school the next morning, you were early enough to assume that none of your friends, or classmates for that matter, would be there. Yet as you made your way past the window that gave free peeks into your classroom to anyone passing by, you noticed a familiar figure already inside.

“Jaem!” you beamed as soon as you entered the classroom, rushing over to cling onto his arm.

“Morning, princess,” he greeted you, ruffling your hair gently and very possibly ruining the hairstyle you had carefully worked on. You swatted his hand away playfully and glared at him. “You seem way too excited for such an early hour, what’s going on? By the way, how are you feeling, still good?”

“Better than ever,” you chuckled, pulling away to look at him with a grin. “My parents are away for the weekend, do you maybe wanna come over and keep me company for a while?”

The boy raised his eyebrows, a sound between a scoff and a chuckle leaving his lips.

“Since when do you invite me over for sleepovers and not Karina?” he asked, as if doubtful. “Or why not ask Renjun instead?” he teased after a second. “You know, I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to come, and you could spend some quality time together.”

If you hadn't spent so much time with him and his smirks for the past couple of months, you would have bought that the one on his lips right now was nothing more than teasing. But you had learned to notice the small twitch giving out that he was faking it. You couldn't help but question it in your mind, the implication that little forced smirk held, yet decided to not mention it. Instead, you rolled your eyes at him and poked his chest.

“I'm inviting you, Nana, not them,” you shook your head a little. “Of course, if you say no I’ll have no choice but to ask someone else, but I just wanted to spend time with you, y’know.”

His eyebrows shot up and he chuckled slightly, crossing his arms. And you were almost sure that whatever he was preparing to say, he would be faking that too. 

“Princess, don't get me wrong, but don’t you think that it’s maybe time to focus on Renjun now?” he questioned and your smile fell a little. He wasn't wrong, really, but you couldn't push yourself to say that Renjun wasn’t the one you wanted anymore. Not yet, not first thing this early in the morning and not in the middle of a random classroom. 

“Well, I… I know you said we’ve covered everything but… I thought that I might need a little bit more time to get used to it…” The excuse sounded dumb even to you, so you decided to use part of the truth instead. “I enjoy spending time with you, Nana. Not just when you’re teaching me about sex, I like the cuddles and the jokes and your presence around me,” you sighed and something in his posture shifted. “I know we didn't spend that much time together before but that doesn't mean we have to stop after we’ve,” you couldn't help but pause for a second to recollect your thoughts, “finished with the lessons”.

“I didn't mean it in that way, Y/N,” he said quietly, cupping your cheek gently. “I've had so much fun with you, I'd actually hate it if we stopped hanging out,” he added as a little smile curved his lips and that made you feel a bit better again. 

“We don't have to have sex tonight, or ever again, if you don't want to,” you assured him, although the thought still stung a little - you didn’t want all of it to end. “Just come over, we can watch a movie or something like that.”

“Count me in on that,” Jaemin nodded and ruffled your hair again, grinning happily and bringing back the smile on your own face. 

“In on what?” a voice suddenly joined in and you turned to see Donghyuck had just walked into the classroom. “Are you planning a party without me? I will end you both if you are. Unless it's a surprise party for me.”

“Not really a party, Hyuck,” you laughed and shook your head. “Just Jaem and me, cause I'll be home alone for a few days.”

“Ew, please keep me uninvited then,” Hyuck scrunched his nose in disgust. “The idea that you two are fuck buddies is making me question this friend group so much.”

“Bold words for someone who spent the last three years trying to get in Karina’s bed,” Jaemin retorted, laughing at the way Hyuck's face fired up.

~

The knock on your door came a few minutes earlier than the hour you two had agreed on, yet you still rushed to open the front door. 

“God, we haven't seen each other in ages!” Jaemin teased as he entered, fully aware of how excited you were and apparently that thought amused him. 

“Shut up, loser, I'm just being polite enough to not leave you hanging at the door,” you rolled your eyes.

“Of course you are, princess,” he smiled as he leaned over to peck your forehead surprisingly. It was such a domestic little gesture that it caught you off guard. He seemed to be just as startled with his own action as you were as he cleared his throat awkwardly after pulling away again. “So, what's the plan for tonight?” 

You shook away your surprise and smiled at him again as you led him further inside and let him set his stuff down in the living room.

“So, we are going to watch my favorite movie tonight and you cannot say no,” you said, nodding your head in the direction of the TV where the movie was already loaded. “I have also ordered us pizza,” you added and he glanced at the table where the two boxes were waiting for you.

Jaemin didn’t really even try to disagree with that plan and so the two of you settled on the couch, your legs thrown over his lap, and you played the movie. The opening scene of Stardust started playing and you couldn't help but smile as you watched the main character's father running away from the village he lived in to visit the magical market.

The movie went on and as much as you tried to focus on it, you started wondering if Jaeming was enjoying it. You couldn't help but glance at him every so often, just to check for any reaction. 

“Y/N, the last time I checked, the movie wasn't playing on my cheek,” he chuckled and you looked away from him immediately, embarrassed. 

“I’m just not sure whether you're enjoying it,” you pouted. Jaemin shook his head slightly in your peripheral vision.

Instead of replying, he pulled you closer to himself and made you lean your head on his shoulder. 

“There, you can't look at me now,” he said. “Watch the movie, not me.” 

A sigh left your lips but you obliged, focusing on the two main characters. One of your favorite scenes was coming soon and you smiled to yourself. The main characters were going to get caught by pirates and that meant that they would soon be realizing that they’re in love. A smile curved your lips again and you signed quietly. You felt Jaemin shift a little next to you, as if to adjust himself so you could cuddle more comfortably.

The film went on and soon you ended up tucked into his side, one of your arms wrapped around his abdomen and one of his hands playing with your hair. With your eyes on the screen and the lack of ability to check every three seconds whether he was enjoying it, the movie went by pretty quickly and before you knew it, the ending credits were playing. Reluctantly, you pulled away from Jaemin and looked at him again, waiting for his commentary as anxious tension filled you up. 

“I can see why you like the movie,” he said pensively. You blinked, unsure how to take that until he turned to you and smiled. “It’s a really beautiful story. And also, there were witches and pirates. So, you know, obviously, I love it.” You felt relief wash over you at the confirmation. 

“Glad to hear that!” you smiled. “I mean, not that you had to like it, but it’s good that you did.” 

He laughed at your comment. So to stop yourself from rambling, you refocused on cleaning up the empty plates from the table and taking them to the kitchen. When you returned to the living room, you found Jaemin looking through the window. 

“The stars are visible tonight,” he said as he turned to you and smiled. “The movie made me think about that. I’ve never actually paid them much attention,” he added. “Do you think they might be actual people living their life up there?”

“Oh, I love watching the stars!” you exclaimed excitedly. The stars had been one of your first friends, unchanged no matter where your parents took you, and always there. You had grown up looking at them whenever you felt lonely and so they held a special spot in your heart. “And, well, I haven’t had the chance to meet a fallen star myself so I don’t know what they are really,” you chuckled. “We can take some blankets to the balcony and I can show you some things though,” you offered, hopeful eyes looking at Jaemin.

He raised his eyebrows slightly as if surprised by your enthusiasm, but as he slowly approached you, a smile curved his lip.

“I’d love that, yes,” he said, ruffling your hair affectionately. You didn’t need much more of a confirmation to rush over to your room and pull out your favorite blanket. 

In no time, you two had set up a comfortable place to lay on your balcony, surrounded by a nest of fluffy blankets and a few pillows, and you were on your backs, looking at the sky. The visibility wasn’t ideal, of course, yet small sparkling dots were noticeable here and there. 

“That over there is Cassiopeia,” you pointed excitedly and Jaemin followed the direction of your finger, trying to spot the constellation. “You see? It’s those five stars that look a bit like a stretched out and messy W?” He hummed in confirmation and you could see him smile in the dim light of your bedroom over your heads as he recognized the constellation.

“Show me something else?” he asked. You could see the stars in his eyes, reflecting the ones in the sky and his excitement made warmth bubble up in your chest. You had been scared he'd find your affection for the stars dumb or ridiculous, yet here he was next to you, looking at you like you were showing him the secrets of the universe. 

Forcing yourself to look away from him before you could dwell on the growing feeling inside you, you tried to find something else that would be easy to spot. The city lights limited the options even though your family's house was kind of on the outskirts, yet your eyes did see a recognizable shape. 

“Well, can you see the five stars, like, kinda to the left above Cassiopeia, that look like a tilted kid’s drawing of a house? That’s Cepheus, Cassiopeia’s husband. They actually come from Greek mythology. They tried to sacrifice their daughter Andromeda to a sea monster because her mom thought that it’d be a great idea to boast that she’s more beautiful than the sea nymphs. It’s okay though, cause Perseus saved her and then made her his queen,” you explained. You moved your eyes again to look at him and found him already turned to you. 

“That’s kinda dark,” he grimaced, but then a smile curved his lips and he added, “but they're beautiful". You knew he was talking about the night sky and its little gems. Yet a part of you felt like the compliment was for you more than for them. 

Gently he reached over to take your hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss against the back of it. The action left you flustered, warmth once again filling you up and you couldn't bring yourself to suppress your feelings anymore as much as you wanted to.

“Jaemin…” you started, unsure what you were going to say exactly. He looked at you expectantly, a soft smile on his lips.

You couldn't make words process in your brain. The shift in your own feelings was still too overwhelming to talk about. Jaemin was one of your closest friends, and even if your sex lessons hadn’t managed to ruin your friendship, who was to say that your feelings wouldn’t. And even though you had decided to tell him, a part of you was terrified by it. In the end, you just shook your head slightly and looked up at the night sky again. 

“Look, you see that very very bright star over there?” you pointed. “That's Vega. It's the brightest star currently visible, as Sirius is below the horizon right now.”

When a response didn't come for a while, you looked at him again. He was still looking at you, some sort of inner conflict visible on his face. Suddenly, he rolled over on the blanket and before you even realized what he was doing, his body was on top of yours, his arms on both sides of your head. 

“God, you are gonna drive me crazy,” he whispered softly. 

You couldn't help but look at him wide-eyed. Never before had he done something like this, even with all of the times you had had your lessons. Yes, he had never been shy to show he finds you attractive and enjoys what you two were doing… but this was different, this felt like it was coming from something deeper than just sexual tension. Your heart skipped a beat, the feeling of hope blooming in your chest again.

“You're just sitting here, talking about some big balls of hot gas billions of kilometers away from us with this sweet smile as if they are the most amazing thing in the whole world,” he went on, shaking his head slightly. “And all I can think about is how beautiful you look in their light and how much I want to pull you on top of me and make you feel so good that you'd look at me the same way.”

A gasp escaped you and you opened your mouth to say something back, to tell him that whenever you looked at him, it felt like looking at a star, that as beautiful the stars were, they couldn't compare to the way his light and warmth made you feel. But he didn't let you speak, instead leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. Thoughts left your mind as you kissed back, reaching up with one hand to bury it in his hair, tugging slightly on it. Neither of you really took control, neither deepened the kiss, instead, it was filled with unspoken feelings.

“Jaem?” you asked quietly once he pulled away. You didn't dare voice out the hope that all of this had ignited in you, scared that you'd find out that you had imagined everything. 

“Tell me no, Y/N,” he responded, the corner of his mouth curving upside. “Please tell me no, tell me that I can’t have you right here and now, on your balcony. Because there's only this much I can handle.” 

You were trying to figure out what he meant. You had invited him over, you'd even hinted that you could “use some more practice”, you had technically left the decision to him. But then again, true to his word, never before had he been the first one to go for it, he had always waited for you to ask or make the first step. Until now. Now, he was already on top of you, and if you said yes, you knew it would not be because of the lessons. 

“What makes you think I don't want that? Sex with you under the stars sounds amazing honestly,” you said softly instead. His eyebrows shot up for a second, yet he didn't say anything. 

Instead, his lips crashed against yours once again, this time much more desperately, as if he was trying to take all of you at once. He pulled away again, only to drag his lips down your neck, biting down at the base of it. Your hand was still buried in his hair so you tugged on it harder, whimpering out and leaning your head to the side. 

“You can… leave hickeys if you want…” you mumbled, closing your eyes. “I’d like that.”

Jaemin started sucking on your skin harder, nibbling every now and then. You were lost in the feeling, his kisses felt like a blessing you had no idea whether you deserved. Your eyes opened up again only when you felt him pull away. You found him looking down at your neck as if contemplating his work. You didn't dare imagine what you looked like, because the idea of your neck covered in marks by him only fueled your arousal. 

“You are so beautiful, have I told you that before?” he asked and you chuckled, rolling your eyes a little. 

“Just now, I think,” you retorted. “And a few other times before that.” Yet you couldn’t deny the way your heart soared at his compliments. 

“I’m gonna keep saying it,” he smiled before lifting himself up and off of you. Before you could even question it, he pulled his shirt off and threw it to the side. “Help me out a little, there’s too many clothes on you at the moment.” 

Your top was the first one to go as soon as you sat up, Jaemin’s impatient fingers taking it off almost right away. Frantic hands traveling up and down his body, you were kissing him again, his hands around your waist and pressing you impossibly close to his body. 

You only pulled away to take a breath, meeting his eyes. There was a question in your eyes but he either didn’t see it or decided to ignore it. Instead, he pushed a strand of hair away from your face and pecked your lips.

“Are you sure that this is okay?” he asked reluctantly.

“Jaemin, I could not be more sure about it,” you replied, reaching up to cup his face in your hands. “It’s not just okay, you know? I want it. I want you.” 

His eyes widened a little at your words and he bit his lips. Did he understand what you meant? There was conflict on his face for a moment. Was he thinking about how to reject you? Or would he maybe, just maybe, reciprocate your feelings?

“If only you really did,” he muttered with a sigh, so quietly you barely heard it. 

But you did. And you froze. And what had been a tiny sense of hope before was now so clearly obvious you didn’t understand how you only realized it now. Your heart started thumping loudly in your chest. 

“No, I mean it,” you said quickly, but his eyes refused to meet yours. “Jaem, listen to me, I’m serious.” 

“I know, princess,” he finally looked at you again with a forced smile. “Ignore that, okay? Where were we?”

You tried to speak up again, but he didn’t give you a chance, kissing you again to stop you from speaking. Your resolve started to crumble. You could talk about it after, you told yourself. So you moved your hands down his body, reaching into his untied sweatpants to stroke him. You were not surprised to find him already hard, but it did make you smile in the kiss.

Jaemin groaned quietly at your touch and quickly helped you out of your shorts, then your underwear followed them. And suddenly you found yourself on Jaemin’s thigh, your bare pussy rubbing against the fabric of his sweatpants, and it made you let out a whimper. He chuckled quietly, leaning back on one of his arms, the other wrapping around your waist to support you.

“You said you want me, no?” he asked teasingly and you nodded quickly. “Come on then, show me how much.”

You didn’t need convincing, not with his commanding tone that sent shivers down your spine. You started rolling your hips, at first slowly, but the friction clouded your mind and holding back seemed impossible. Your head fell on his shoulder as moans escaped your mouth, and you were sure the way your nails were digging in his chest would leave marks. The fabric under you was sticky but you couldn’t bring yourself to care and he didn’t seem to mind either. 

“Such a good girl,” he hummed next to your ear and you shivered slightly. “Look at me, princess,” he asked and you forced yourself to lift your head. 

A finger tapped against your lips. It took you less than a moment of hesitation to open your mouth. Smirking a little to himself, Jaemin pushed two of his fingers in and you wrapped your lips around them, sucking gently and bringing your tongue around them. 

Maybe he didn’t expect you’d actually do it, or maybe he was surprised at how easily you obliged, but his jaw fell open with a soft smitten expression. 

“You never fail to amaze me,” he chuckled as he pulled his fingers out and you shrugged slightly with a small smile. 

“I do know a thing or two, y’know,” you said, yet as you’d stopped moving, the heat between your legs painfully reminded you of itself. “Jaem, please, can you fuck me already?” you pleased softly. 

“Your wish is my command,” he smiled, yet his smile dropped a little the next moment. “I don’t have lube in me though, it’s in my bag inside…” 

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine,” you reassured him. You could feel how wet you were already and you didn’t have the patience to wait. 

He hesitated for another long moment, before making you lift yourself so he could take off his sweatpants and underwear. He did pull a condom packet out of his pocket though before ditching the clothing items to the side. 

His fingers reached between your legs, two of his fingers teasing at your entrance for a second before he pushed them inside with ease. A hint of surprise passed on his face but he didn’t ponder on it, instead focused on spreading you out as much as he could before either of you lost your patience.

Then he put on the condom and flipped you two around so you could lay on your back as he finally pushed himself inside you carefully. You were genuinely amazed at his self-control to go slow on you. 

“You feel so good around me, princess,” he mumbled, pecking your lips. 

“And you feel good inside me,” you offered in return, smiling softly through tears pricking at your eyes. 

You could admit that it wasn’t as easy to get used to this time. He seemed to notice it too so he stroked your cheek gently, murmuring little praises to distract you as he waited for you to adjust.

When you finally felt comfortable enough, he started moving slowly. You expected him to speed up gradually like he did last time. But instead the rolls of his hips were slow and deep. His body was pressed flush against yours at almost all times and the heat was making your head spin in pleasure. 

You knew this wasn’t about physical pleasure only anymore. Not for you, and not for him either. It was so much more in many ways. 

You were close and he was too, you could feel it. So you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down in a kiss, as sweet and intimate as the way your bodies were moving together. When you finally slipped over the edge, your moan was swallowed in the kiss. He thrust inside you a few more times, reaching his own high not long after. 

For a short moment, you were in a daze as Jaemin slipped out of you and discarded the condom, then helped you put on your underwear and his own, taking a spare blanket and wrapping it around both of you as he pulled you in his arms. 

The warmth of his body next to yours, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he held you close. It felt like home. How had you been so blind all this time… 

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” he whispered and you looked up to his face. He had never seemed so open and genuine before. 

Or maybe he had always been and you’d just never noticed. Whichever it was, your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes returned to the sky above you as you smiled. 

“There’s something special about this,” you started gently, hoping he’d understand you this time, “about this moment, about the stars tonight. And that something is you, Jaem.” 

He didn’t reply. But his lips pressed against your forehead softly, almost the ghost of a kiss. You waited for a few loud heartbeats more for him to speak up. And then you reached the conclusion that he wouldn’t. 

Stealing a glance, you found him looking at the stars with sadness in his eyes. And you realized he didn’t understand. 

“Nana, I need to talk to you,” you sighed, lifting yourself on one arm to look at him better. “About the deal and-”

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow,” he looked at you, smiling. A pained smile. And you could guess what he was thinking. 

“No, please, I need you to listen to me,” you almost pleaded but he shook his head and pulled you gently back in his arms. 

“Tomorrow, I promise,” he mumbled and pecked your lips. “For now, let’s get some rest, okay?” 

And you had a bad feeling about it. You knew that you shouldn’t postpone the conversation anymore. But sleep was already catching up to you, and he was warm and comfortable, and you felt safe in his arms…

And you were drifting away before you even knew it.

~

You woke up in your bed the next morning. Jaemin’s hand was wrapped around your waist loosely, breathing light and you guessed he was still asleep. He must have brought you in after you’d fallen asleep. You smiled to yourself, stroking his hair softly and he hummed in his sleep, nuzzling into the pillow. You held back a chuckle so as to not wake him up and carefully slipped out of the bed. 

You were still only in your underwear so you looked around to find something to wear and your eyes fell on his tshirt. You considered it for a moment and then slipped it on, heading downstairs. 

Bare feet tapping on the floor, you made your way to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine. A side effect of all the time spent with Jaemin was that you knew how to prepare coffee the way he liked it so you decided to prepare it before he woke up. And you also started working on one for yourself. 

Just as the coffee smell filled the air, another person walked into the kitchen and you looked up at Jaemin, smiling. He’d put on some clothes. He took a moment just looking at you, probably taking in the sight of you in his shirt. 

“Morning, sleepy head,” you greeted, nodding towards the coffee machine. “You’re right on time, it’s almost ready.” 

Chuckling, he made his way over to you. 

“This is literally the hottest thing you’ve ever done, I could literally kiss you right now,” he said and you grinned. 

“I don’t see anything stopping you.” 

He took the invitation, leaning closer, his arms holding onto the counter on both sides of your body, trapping you in as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. 

When he pulled away, his eyes were ever so soft and you reached up to ruffle his hair, before turning around to turn off the machine and pour the coffee into two cups, then turning back to him and handing him his. He took a sip and signed happily. 

“This is what heaven must be like and you’re a literal angel,” he joked, eyes twinkling with happiness.

“Well I’m amazing, you know, or so I was been told last night at least,” you teased. 

You regretted it the second that his smile fell and he pulled away from you. You opened your mouth to ask what was wrong, but words caught in your throat as he walked to the other side of the kitchen and leaned back on the opposite counter, focusing on the cup in his hand with a guarded expression on his face.

“Nana, what’s wrong?” you finally voiced out. He didn’t reply, taking slow sips of his coffee. “Come on, tell me,” you pushed, “did I do something wrong or-”

“I think it’s time we drop the deal,” he said suddenly. You flinched. “You wanted to talk so let’s talk. There’s nothing else that you need to learn from me and I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

“Why?” you asked quietly. But you knew why - it was the same reason why you had considered calling it off yourself. 

“What do you mean why?” he scoffed, forcing himself to laugh. “We’re done with the course, it’s time that we stop… it’s time that you stop doing with me things you should be doing with the person you’re in love with.” 

You swallowed heavily and put your cup down on the counter walking over to him. Was it not obvious already? It had been obvious about Renjun, so why wasn’t he seeing it now? 

“But why should I stop, Jaem?” you asked and reached over to take his hand but he pulled it away. A sting of pain flashed through you. “You promised that you’d listen, you haven’t even heard yet what I want to say.”

“I don’t think I need to hear it,” he chuckled and you flinched. “I’ve made up my mind. It was fun while it lasted but it’s time it ends.” 

And to emphasize his words, he downed his coffee and walked over to the other room. His bag was already ready and you realized he had already decided to leave even before this conversation. You rushed after him but he was already at the door, putting on his shoes. 

“Will you just let me speak?” you asked, frustration evident in your voice. “Jaemin, I’m not gonna force you to keep giving me sex lessons, this is something completely different!” 

“It is,” he agreed as if you were on the same page. “The lessons have gone too far. Everything that happened last night proved it.” 

“So what, you’re afraid I’ll find out that you’re in love with me so you’ll run away before I can tell you my side?” Your frustration took the best of you. You hadn’t intended to say that. You should have just told him you loved him instead. But th words had already left your mouth and you couldn’t take them back now. 

His eyes widened in surprise for a second, then a sad smile curved his lips again. 

“Smart girl,” he praised, but it felt like a slap instead. “Give me some time, okay? A day or something, I can’t do this right now.” 

He hesitated for a second, then leaned down to peck your lips. And then he was out the door. 

You wanted to go after him, but you were stuck. He hadn’t even let you confess but you felt like he’d already rejected you. Tears pricked at your eyes and by the time you managed to make yourself open the door, he was gone. 

~ 

You’d texted him over 50 times already. You’d called almost as much. He was not responding in any way. 

You went to his house but his mother told you he hadn’t come back - she thought he was still with you. You dismissed her concern when she asked about your puffy eyes. 

You went to his favorite coffee shop but he wasn’t there. You went to the school campus even though it was Saturday and you knew he wouldn’t be there. You went to every other place you could think of. 

If he was avoiding you, you decided that you needed help finding him. You pulled out your phone, vaguely hopeful that he might have replied to your texts. He hadn’t. So you called Hyuck. Frustratingly enough, he also didn’t pick up. But you were desperate so you kept trying.

“For Christ’s sake, this better be an emergency,” he picked up finally, annoyance clear as day in his tone. In the background, you heard Karina’s concerned voice ask what was going on.

“Donghyuck, I’m sorry, it’s important,” you started, almost tripping over your words at the speed they were coming out of your mouth. “Jaemin has not been answering my texts, he’s not picking up my calls and I looked everywhere I could think of but I have no idea where he is and I need to talk to him.” 

There was a short silence. 

“The dumbass outed himself and he’s now scared of your reaction, isn’t he?” It could have been a lucky guess. But you knew better. 

“You knew about it?” you asked, a hint of betrayal in your voice. 

“Of course I did,” Hyuck sighed. “He’s been in love with you for a year and he’s almost as obvious about it as you.” You froze. 

“And you didn’t think to tell me about it from the beginning?” you nearly shouted at him. 

“Because it was not my business to meddle in his love life if he had decided to go through with this!” the boy defended himself. In the background, Karina seemed to have more questions now. He shushed her softly, before speaking up again. “Plus, first of all, I knew you’d come around and fall in love with him too, sooner or later! And I did warn you and try to hint it to you, okay? Do you think I did it because I enjoy watching one of my best friends suffer because of this dumb deal of yours? Just because he didn’t show it in front of you, doesn’t mean it was ever really okay. And I love you both, but I am tired of being your relationship therapist, okay? I don’t know where he is, but you’ll have to figure this out yourself.” 

The line was silent for a while.  A sense of guilt was choking you up. You’d barely gasped out an apology when the line went dead. You looked at the phone screen and Jaemin’s smile on the wallpaper made tears well in your eyes again. There had been a part of you in denial about the way you’d been hurting him but Hyuck’s words had forced you to realize it. For a year. You’d assumed he had fallen for you the same way you had. But you had been so wrong. 

As you scrolled through your contacts, you couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of what you were about to do. 

“Y/N?” Renjun asked with a hint of confusion. You’d always called him so rarely. “What’s up?” 

“Hey, uh…” you hesitated. “Do you happen to know where Jaemin is?” 

“Jaemin? No, I haven’t spoken to him today,” he replied, but his tone shifted to concern immediately. “Is everything alright? You don’t sound too good.” 

“Yeah, I’m…” you started, but what was the use in lying? “I did something really dumb and I need to talk to him but he’s avoiding me and I don’t know where to find him but I need to tell him that…” you took a short breath. You were still scared of the words. But if you could say it in front of Renjun, you could say it to Jaemin too. “That I love him.” 

“You need to tell him that?” Renjun asked, confused. “Doesn’t he know it already? I thought you two were dating and just didn’t want to tell us yet.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh. The whole situation was ridiculous. Of course, Jaemin wouldn’t tell him what was going on, not when he knew how important it was to you. But Renjun wasn’t dumb, of course he would see through the two of you. And from the pieces he had, of course he’d reach the most reasonable conclusion. 

“It’s… a bit more complicated than that,” you said. “And that’s exactly why I need to clear things with him. Please, I just need to find out where he is, can you help me?” 

“I’ll do my best,” he replied. You thanked him about four times before he finally convinced you that he’d need to hang up so he can call Jaemin. 

You waited anxiously to hear back from him. When you finally did, it was in the form of a text. ‘He’s at the city park near your place, but he might be heading home soon’.

The park. You hadn’t thought of the park. How could you not have thought of the park? 

Typing back a quick ‘thank you’, you immediately rushed out of your house. The walk was a daze, your mind only cleared once you saw a familiar cotton candy stall. And on a bench next to it was Jaemin. Taking a deep breath, you almost ran over. 

He looked up and flinched back in surprise as soon as he realized it was you in front of him. His lips formed a small o as he glanced down at his phone and realization hit him. He scoffed quietly and then looked up at you again.

“You look like a mess,” were his first words to you.

“Why would you agree to the stupid deal if you already had feelings for me, you idiot?” was your reply, equal parts desperation and relief washing over you. 

He sighed and nodded to the free spot next to him. You sat down, relieved that at least he didn’t try to run away again. 

“Donghyuck can’t keep his mouth shut, can he?” he chuckled, turning to look at you.

“No, Donghyuck kept it shut for too long,” you scowled. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I did it because I was in love with you,” came his response. “I’d been in love with you for so long and you never even noticed. And you liked Renjun, so I didn’t say anything. But then you came to me, you wanted me. I knew it wasn’t the same, I knew your end goal was Renjun. But you were asking me for help, how can I say no when you need my help? So I said yes because I thought it would be fine. Because I was selfish and happy that I’d get a chance to be with you even if it had to be like this. And because I hoped that you might change your mind. But it became so hard to hold back, you know? To tell what was real and what I wanted to be real.” 

You fought back your tears. This wasn’t your place to cry. You had been the one to hurt him. 

“Jaem, I am so sorry that I made you go through that,” you said softly. “If I had known, I would have asked. I never meant to…”

“I know,” he shrugged. “You don’t need to apologize. I knew what I was agreeing to, I just thought I’d handle it better.” 

“No, listen,” you started again. “And I need you to actually listen this time. I never meant to hurt you, but I know that I did. So I do owe you an apology. But that’s not everything that I have to say. Yes, when we agreed on the lessons, I thought I wanted to be with Renjun. But the truth is that I really don’t. You say you hoped I’d change my mind, yet you are so oblivious to the fact that I actually did. The past months have been some of the happiest in my life, you know? I spent them with someone who laughed with me when I was happy, who held me tight when I was lonely. I spent them with a person who would always make me feel safe. A person that would smile at me bright enough to lighten up the worst of days, and look at me as if I am the most precious thing in his world. A person that would stick up little stars on my wall for hours even though nothing of it makes sense to him. Someone who sat through my favorite movie and loved it because it was my favorite movie. Someone that didn’t care about the stars but let me talk about them for an hour just because they made me happy. Someone that apparently cared more about me than about his own happiness.” 

You made a pause to recollect your spiraling thoughts. Jaemin was looking at you, wide eyes and mouth half open in surprise. And you knew the hope in his eyes and the way the corner of his lips was shyly trying to curve into a smile. 

“And yet when I told that someone that it’s him that I want, he thought I was lying. When I told him that he’s special, he refused to listen. And when I tried to tell him that I’m in love with him, he ran away. What I was trying to tell you since yesterday, Jaemin, is that I am in love with you. Have been for a while. It took me too long to realize but I mean it. You were jealous of the stars when there’s no need for you to be. I loved them because they made me feel at home. But you make me feel at home too. Na Jaemin, you make me feel like the stars do.” 

At first, he didn’t say anything. He was still staring at you with a smitten expression, yet the smile was back on his face. That beautiful smile that you loved more than anything else. Carefully, as if still in disbelief, he reached over to take your hand and you didn’t hesitate for a second to intertwine your fingers with his. 

“Like the stars?” He repeated. “Really?” 

“Yes,” you giggled, “like the stars. Like those big balls of hot gas billions of kilometers away.” 

“Oh, that makes it sound awful,” he cringed and you couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry I ever called them that way. Let’s stick with stars”. 

“Okay, we’ll stick with stars,” you agreed. Your body was still buzzing from the emotional chaos it had been through, yet maybe it would all be okay in the end. “As long as you agree to stick with me. And I mean that as in, I want you to be my boyfriend, Nana.” 

He looked down at your intertwined fingers instead of replying. His eyes lit up when he noticed something. 

“You’re wearing the ring?” he asked, thumb rubbing over the piece of metal. 

“Haven’t taken it off since we got them,” you nodded. “It was that date that made me realize that I love you so I didn’t wanna risk losing it. Back then I didn’t know you liked me too so I had to cling onto the memory.” 

“How fitting that I chose to come here then,” he smiled as he lifted your hand to press a kiss on the back of your palm. “I didn’t think you’d agree to the date. I almost wanted to tell you back then, but you didn’t see it as a real date and I figured it wasn’t a good time.” 

“I did see it as a real date,” you admitted. “But you would have saved us all this trouble if you’d told me back then.” 

“And miss that pretty speech of yours?” he raised his eyebrows. “No way, I’d rather run away again so you’d have to come up with an even better one.” 

“Don’t you dare,” you rolled your eyes, yet a grin spread your lips as you squeezed his hand.

“Fine, fine,” he chuckled.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” you pointed out, nibbling your lip a little anxiously.

“What question?” he looked at you and he was either generally confused or pretending really well. You sighed and shook your head. 

“I literally asked if you’d be my boyfriend and you said nothing,” you pouted, reaching down with your free hand to play with his fingers. 

“Oh, that,” he laughed and you glared at him. “I didn’t realize it was a question. I thought it’s pretty clear that I want that.” 

You shook your head and sighed in disappointment - not in his answer, just his approach to the topic. Yet you couldn’t fight the smile spreading your lips once again. You’d made some dumb decisions along the way, yes, and you’d been too oblivious to see. But Jaemin loved you and wanted to be with you. And you loved him. And the sun was shining softly, and Jaemin’s smile was shining too and he was next to you, holding your hand. 

“Like the stars, right?” he asked suddenly and you looked at him confused. He chuckled and leaned down to peck your nose before repeating his words. “Like the stars, you said.” 

“Why are you so stuck on that?” you giggled. 

“Because I saw the way you look at the stars, you know? You say they make you feel at home, but you look like they make you feel so much more than that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look as happy as you were when talking about them. And you kinda look the same way right now, so if I am the reason…” 

“You really didn’t see it before?” you tilted your head in amusement. “That I am the happiest when I’m with you?” 

“So… like the stars?” 

“Yes, Jaemin. Like the stars.” 

~

Epilogue

~

You were sitting with your friends in the school cafeteria during lunch break as usual. Taking a sip of your drink, you only now realized that by mistake you had taken a strawberry milk bottle instead of orange juice like you had intended to. A small pout curved your lips as you set the small bottle on the table.

“What's wrong, princess?” Jaemin asked, concerned as he noticed your displeasure. You shook your head slightly. 

“Nothing, I just picked up the wrong drink by mistake, I wanted orange juice,” you answered, sad eyes fixed on the now very obvious mistake. Really, how had you even managed to mix the two up? 

“Oh,” was his reaction at first. Then after a moment, he smiled and swapped your drink with his own - a bottle of orange juice. “Here, have mine.”

“Jaem- you hate strawberry milk,” you argued, trying to switch them back but he stopped you, grabbing your wrist with one hand as his other one pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“It's okay, as long as you’re happy I will be fine,” he smiled, loving eyes looking at you. You pouted even more now, torn between not wanting to let him ‘sacrifice’ himself for you and the warmth in your chest. 

“You guys are disgusting,” Donghyuck crashed the moment with a roll of his eyes. “I swear, ever since you got together, it's like I'm a side character in a cringy rom-com.”

“I think they're cute,” Renjun joined in, hitting Hyuck's arm. “Let them have their honeymoon phase, no one questioned you when you made, like, three different playlists just about how whipped you are for Karina.”

“You did what?” your best friend asked, scoffing. She burst out laughing at the way Hyuck's ears turned red as he tried to deny everything. “Loser,” she rolled her eyes, yet none of you were fooled to miss the loving tone in her voice. “Anyways, speaking of, you two never really told us how you got together. I didn’t even know something was going on between you until I overheard a very strange half of a phone call. Obviously, I want the details,” she said, now turning to you and Jaemin with raised eyebrows. 

“Oh, yes please, give us the details, we’re burning to know,” Hyuck grinned menacingly, clearly glad to not be the topic anymore. 

“Uh…” You looked at Jaemin and found him already looking at you as if letting you tell the story however you want to. You could lie, of course. But you didn't really want to. “It was kind of dumb, like… remember those English lessons? Well, they never happened… actually, I… asked him to teach me how to have, uh, sex…”

“May I, perchance, ask why the hell you would do that?” Karina asked, apparently Donghyuck had really not been whipped enough to break his promise to you. Then realization lit up her eyes and she shook her head slightly. “That’s why you were asking about…”

You were burning with embarrassment just thinking about the whole thing now, but you figured if not the people on this table, who would you even share this with.

“Well, I was scared because I had no experience with boys before this, and I had this crush on, well,” you looked at Renjun awkwardly, realizing he was the only one you hadn’t mentioned your crush to before, “you, and I was just afraid that I'd disappoint you. So I asked him to teach me so that I could feel more confident to confess. But, uh, yeah, things didn’t go according to that plan.” 

“Touching story for the grandkids,” Hyuck said sarcastically, while Karina tried to holding back from laughing, not very successfully whatsoever.

Renjun had not said anything yet and you looked at him, kind of scared of how he'd react. But whatever you had imagined, you hadn't expected his answer. 

“Oh, darling, I do appreciate the effort and I’m glad I could help you two, but,” he started, chuckling a little. “Did the guys not tell you that I'm gay?” 

(Turns out that Jaemin didn't have the heart to tell you, plus he hoped to really win you over, not just have you because your other option was gay. Hyuck simply found it hilarious. You proceed to murder Donghyuck for his crimes against humanity (you). You end up drawing a lot of attention but the immediate death of Lee Donghyuk is more important.) 

~

taglist: @jaeymark @okokoksblog @multihoe-net @jaemboi64 @bythe8 @sweetjaemss @magnificentjudgemoneyhands @jsjcue @sunshinedhyuck @luvdroids @wanlore @marklexleaf @back2jisung @taehyungmami @the-midnight-arthouse @multifandombtvh @chichhihaa @nctevia @thiccfullsun @hwanunjin @dinochocochip @keemburley @paintandwine @fairypothos @jaemints @dreams-in-different-colours @faesficfix @pradagukkie @leaz-kpop-life

part 1 | part 2

pairing: single father!surgeon!na jaemin x surgeon!reader

genre: fluff & angst & smut

word count: 20.7k

warnings: may be numerous inaccuracies pertaining to surgeries and how hospitals are run; descriptions of surgical procedures and things such as blood and broken bones; alcohol consumption; mildly graphic depiction of a seizure; mentions of minor character death; a tumor; some asshattery on jaemin’s part; drunken fingering, masturbation; mentions of eating out

glossary: link 

playlist: link 

MAKE SURE TO READ PART ONE FIRST!

You’re fucked. 

This much is evident. It’s quite late when Jaemin leaves your house, whispering a ‘goodbye’ into your hair. Extracting yourself from his warm embrace takes everything you have within you, and even then you stand outside, watching him pull away from your house and drive off into the night. You stay there for longer than is necessary, and longer than he exists within your line of sight. You’re screwed. Whipped. Floored. You’re fucked. 

It’s easy for you to see just how absolutely enamored you are with Jaemin, with the way he expresses himself using his eyebrows and how leans into his laughter, with how hooded his eyelids get sometimes when he’s deep in thought, the way he understands just how to let you know that he’s listening, that he’ll always be listening to you. It’s harder for you to admit this to yourself, which is why you find yourself in a Walmart at half past three in the morning. 

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