bisexual, any pronouns, disabled, white, twenties | playing dice with my small corner of the universe | reblogs from @diceystealstheinternet
63 posts
Thoughts On Coming Out
Thoughts on coming out
/
What I thought would happen, or, what happened every other damned time I tried to tell you:
Sit in the pit of my stomach
Get stuck in the tunnel of my throat
Lodge in the chasm of my mouth
Prickle and weigh on my tongue
Press against the blockade of my teeth
And finally,
Mangled and aching,
Shredded and bleeding,
Pummeled and pulsing,
Emerge
Changed
On my lips
Like cracked skin and warm breath
As words.
The wrong fucking words.
What actually happened:
I said it, downplayed it.
You dismissed me, and kissed me.
You still want me. You don't know me.
The response too easy; now I'm waiting for it to sink in.
How the hell do I show it, own it, glow with it
When I don't feel any
Pride.
You didn't listen.
/
AKB 2019
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Fireworks in Space
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Speak pride to power:
Show truth and love and magic;
Into the void, let colour flow
Where once only lies tried to fill the vacuum.
There is no air here.
We bring our own oxygen, and enough to share.
You try to set us on fire,
We laugh and burn and fizz and dance,
We are the sparks,
You gave us fuel.
Fool.
/
AKB 2019
Words From Before
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Women power my body:
they are neither consumed for calories
- eat their love and labour -
nor burned for fuel on pyres
- their bodies have always fueled hatred -
yet they are the force behind
every action, each choice.
/
My mitochondria: powerhouse of the cell.
We consist of cells and stars and oceans;
we subsist on truth and tales and lies.
My mother told me I have in me
my grandmothers' mitochondria
- I don't know who told her -
but she wants to believe it so I believe it too
- my mother told me so I want it to be true...
/
Being a woman is just:
[inherits mother's dreams and trauma][inherits grandmother's trauma and mitochondria][inherits great-grandmother's dreams and trauma][inherits]
...
I never research for poems or I start writing essays;
I just listen to my elders,
listen to my ancestors,
and get lost there instead.
Listen to my self and my body and the 'verse.
/
In the shower I let my body be
itself
its curves not hidden by tucks and layers,
not displayed in heels and high-waisted jeans,
not stuffed into bras
and smuggled into knickers;
I just let the water run, let my calloused hands smooth my soft body, wash and stroke away the hurts I've caused.
My hair tangles, it wants to be short.
But my body just is
as it is
as it is.
/
Powered by the mitochondria of my grandmothers
and their grandmothers
and theirs
and the 'verse.
/
AKB 2020
crab 🦀
crash
Day 3: Bait. To reel 'em in. Another poem to go with my sketch and I'm falling for Inktober. Hook, line, and sinker.
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My heart on a hook,
Such sweet bait to catch a crook.
My soul on a string.
/
AKB 2019
"That's my psychological support husband!"
- actual quote from my mother who has no clue about memes or the internet or but sir, that's my emotional support anything... so,,, I guess everyone now and then humans go and reinvent well know tumblr phrases huh?