This Made Many Things Clear Very Quickly

this made many things clear very quickly

for you fic-writing pleasure;

due to the popularity of this post, here is an updated, and apparently ever extending list of the characters the bois™ have created or absorbed into their alternative universe canon, or as @boogaraniac put it, the BFCU, 

C.C. Tinsley: technically real, but has become our favourite, happy-go-lucky, incompetent detective. according to fanon, he either works with, or is attempting to arrest Ricky G. may or may have not been murked by Dr Fear (intro’d in The Sodder Children)

Ricky Goldsworth: our main man. Smooth Criminal, “it’s all about the confidence, baby,” and while some people try to reduce him to just a serial killer, we all know he’s so much more than that. (intro’d in room 1046)

Banjo McClintock: art thief and wearer of fake mustaches. if you’re gonna steal something, do it right. probably admires Ricky G., but is definitely afraid of him.(intro’d in Gardner Museum Heist q+a)

Dr Fear: another technically real person, but hey, this fandom writes RPF so really, no one’s judging. Shane posited that C.C. Tinsley’s disappearance had something to do with this real life monster - and we all know that if he did, Ricky came for his ass (intro’d in the Pennhurst ep)

Francesca Norris: fabulous, flirty and flaunting spy. Better Than You, And Knows It. (intro’d in Isdal Woman q+a)

Detective Holly Horsley: detective by day, crime writer by night. better hope you have nothing to hide, because this girl will find out. [another real person the boys ran away with, but since she’s still a very alive and active person, I can’ talk about her in good conscience without a shoutout to her super cool YouTube] (first appearance in Room 1046 q+a)

all of their exploits take place in the town of Asshole, Iowa (intro’d in the Ken Rex q+a), and if I don’t see a rise in fanfic set in the bois™ au, I’m suing all of you

honestly the character in legacy who needs to get their act together the most is sophie

eoin colfer and rick riordan have a support group of other writers who have also either been wronged by book to movie adaptations/know they’ll be disappointed

Percy Jackson Died

Percy Jackson died.

He was old enough, he supposed, older than so many of his friends he’d watched die, but not really old. Old enough he was tired, and suddenly finding himself in the lobby he recognized from when he was twelve years old was disconcerting but not particularly surprising.

After all, he was a half-blood, and being a half-blood often got you killed in very nasty ways.

But still.

Percy Jackson died.

Charon remembered him.

“Drown in any bathtubs recently?” he asked dryly, but he waved Percy’s apologies for not having a coin to offer him. “You paid me for passage once and it clearly didn’t stick.”

So Percy Jackson died, and he crossed the River Styx on the ferry, and this time, when he arrived in the Underworld, Cerberus was completely visible.

Last time he came to the Underworld to see Hades, he’d entered the fast-moving line and stepped into the fields of Asphodel. This time, he waited in line to see the judges.

He’d saved the world more than once, they’d better give him something better than eternal stasis.

“Percy Jackson.” Daedalus greeted him warmly, arms full of blueprints and a full toolbelt wrapped around his waist. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Before Percy could respond, he was pushed to the front of the line and was standing in front of three men he had a feeling he should recognize but he didn’t. He didn’t have to speak at all, the three judges talked to each other while flipping through papers Percy couldn’t read, and without actually acknowledging him at all, the one in the middle hit a green button and Percy found himself on the inside of the gated community he’d only seen from the outside.

Percy Jackson died and was sent to Elysium. For a little while, it held his attention. Pretty much anything he wanted, he could have. Blue Coke, straight out of the bottle, better than the blue Coke at Camp Half-Blood. Pizza just like the pizza from his favorite place to go with his mom. Infinite activities, everything he’d ever wanted to do but hadn’t been able to when he was alive. Skydiving, cliff jumping, he got to pilot a plane.

He got to see old friends. Beckendorf and Selena Beauregard, who’d found each other and were happy again. Demigods who’d died in the second Titan war who wanted to hear from him how it had ended, to know what really happened. Heroes who died in the second giant war who wanted to know everything about Camp Jupiter and all of their friends who’d outlived them. Hunters who’d died in battles he hadn’t even known about while he was still alive.

But Percy Jackson was the son of Poseidon, lord of the sea. He didn’t like being contained in one place, and even if Elysium was a paradise for heroes, it wasn’t the same as being alive.

So Percy Jackson died, and Percy Jackson was sent to Elysium, and Percy Jackson chose to be reborn.

Zak Mason was born to a single mom.

He was an ordinary baby, almost. He was born with blue eyes, but they turned brown. He laughed and cried and pooped and spat up. He started preschool with a choppy haircut he gave to himself, and loved sitting on his mom’s lap to listen to Dr. Seuss books and watching anything fast-moving and colorful on TV.

When he was six, Zak’s basketball team won against all of the other first grade teams in their town, and a big picture of his gap-toothed smile holding the trophy he’d helped win with his first three-point shot held the place of honor on the fridge for almost a year.

Sometimes, Zak Mason had nightmares he didn’t understand. Of burning pain covering his entire body, of monsters and shifting Earth and bottomless pits, of faces he didn’t recognize twisted in pain or looking down at him as he fell, of flashing swords and screams and bursts of arrows whistling towards an enemy he couldn’t quite make out. He woke up and forgot the nightmares quickly, but they always left him almost wistful for something he couldn’t quite remember, even with how terrifying they were.

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Listen, I love Artemis Fowl with all my heart but...

I will never stop being angry at how eoin colfer straight up,, used and discarded a character like Minerva. she had so?? much?? potential?? like sure he screwed her character a little by making her all starstruck by artemis but that’s what made her unique. She wasn’t just a female counterpart to artemis- she was the more humane, more attuned-to-emotions version. She was a pillar of support to Butler when Artemis went MIA. Butler, who’s like 2m tall and trained to remain level-headed in all situation. Butler, who took care of Artemis since he was a baby. Butler, who felt like a failure to his entire family because he failed to keep his charge safe. She managed to give him hope that Artemis would return. He basically confirms that he wouldn’t have survived without her support. And what did she get in return? She got written off and never mentioned again, with some flimsy excuse of her having running off with some skier in the Swiss Alps. idk who that satisfied but it isn't me.

tl;dr: Minerva Paradizo deserved so much more than being cast aside once her role as a convenient female that catches Artemis’s attention when he’s going through puberty was fulfilled.

ill always trust fitz over keefe. why? fitz reacts out of anger. it's his defense mechanism. he doesn't mean what he says and he admits he messed up and that he wasn't thinking. keefe, on the other hand, means every goddamn thing he does, and well... you can see why i'm wary