Daoism In Practice.

Daoism in practice.

sometimes language matters. sometimes it doesn't.

How often do you meditate and what recommendations would you give to someone trying to make mediation a daily habit?

I find that there are three elements to beginning a meditation practice. 

They are: the benefits, the resolve, and the practice. 

The Benefits

Before beginning a meditation practice, it can be helpful to take a moment to recognize the benefits the come from meditation. This in turn will help to generate an urge to meditate. 

Meditation:

Helps you to calm down.

We live with more restlessness than we realize. 

This restlessness is the source of many problems for us. 

A feeling of numbness or emptiness that needs filling, a sense of being separate from our sources of happiness, and a general background of anxiety. 

Aids in emotional balancing.

We experience a range of emotions in daily life. Some are wonderful and others are traumatic. 

The experiences are not the problem but rather the traces they leave in our mind and body. 

Meditation helps you to find balance with the past, openness in the present, and readiness for the future. 

Has numerous physiological benefits.

Meditation helps with insomnia, depression, PTSD, irritable bowl syndrome, asthma, chronic pain, and many other dysfunctions. 

It’s free!

Nuff said. 

The Resolve

This aspect is a bit more philosophical. We know of many things that would be good for us–eating better, exercising, doing our homework, etc. Yet that doesn’t always mean we will actually do those things. 

It is useful to contemplate how meditation is a privilege. 

Humans are uniquely positioned to meditate. 

Most if not all animals are locked in a cycle for survival. 

Seek food and eat. 

Don’t get eaten. 

Reproduce. 

Few creatures can actually take time away from their physical needs and be able to sit and go inward to experience their full consciousness. 

Not all humans can meditate. 

Some humans suffer from severe mental disability. 

Some humans are fighting for their survival every day.

Some humans have never heard of meditation.

Acknowledge your good (enough) health and your opportunity take up a timeless practice that has existed in various forms for thousands of years. 

The Practice

Now that you’ve gotten yourself motivated to make meditation part of your life, it is time to actually hammer out the details. 

Pick a time of day that best suits your schedule consistently. 

Do you have time in the morning to sit for a meditation? When would be best?

When you first wake up? Before or after breakfast? Before or after you shower? Think about what works for you. 

Or do you have more time in the evening after your day is done?

Before or after dinner? Before or after you brush your teeth?

The trick is to examine your daily habits and see where meditation would most readily fit in. 

Pick a single meditation technique and stick with that technique for at least a month. 

I have written a lot about meditation here. 

There are many kinds of meditation. Pick whatever kind you feel drawn to and give it a good few weeks of daily practice before coming to a decision about whether or not it is for you. 

Let go of expectations. 

This is the hard part. 

Meditation does more for you than you realize. If you just focus on what you expect, you may overlook the unexpected ways meditation will help you. 

Meditation may not feel good right away. 

You may experience intense sadness, anger, fear, or any other emotions. 

Be persistent anyway. 

Stay motivated. 

Reading spiritual books help. 

Anything by Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, Pema Chodron, or Judith Blackstone will be useful.

My current schedule allows for me to meditate in the evenings. I come home from the library after studying. Before I do anything, I sit in my reading chair. First I just breathe and allow myself to be present. I recognize my current life situation and how it is temporary. I appreciate the space of my room and that I have this time to myself. 

Sometimes I may do a little mantra meditation to start off. Then I sit in silence, eyes closed, and just be. If thoughts or feelings come, I don’t let them pull me into further trains of thought and feeling. I keep my attention focused on the meditation. And that’s it. 

I’ll usually do this for twenty minutes or so and then get up to fix myself some dinner. 

Namaste :) I hope this helps. 

Could you elaborate more on the topic of defending ourselves (or our journey) to others? Why do we do this? Recently, I left a career and lost a father to cancer. One of the most difficult things has been explaining to friends the path that I am choosing. I have decided to take some time off to explore the things in life that really matter to me. This answer seems to make others uncomfortable. Then I hold back for fear of being judged for my decision. I find myself avoiding certain friends.

Any time I have found myself defensive, it has always come from a place of insecurity. If I have a way I want to be perceived, an acceptance/understanding I want to find from others, or something inside that I’m trying to ignore, then defensiveness arises. 

For example, I had a difficult time finding a job after college. Many places were happy to give internships but then had no intention of hiring further down the line. I switched fields a few times, trying to find something that would click. 

In the meantime, many of my friends were gainfully employed. And just as I couldn’t understand what it was like to be working full-time after college, they couldn’t understand what it was like to be unemployed facing continual rejection. 

I cringed at the typical social questions asking what I do, where I’m going, and so on. 

The funny thing is that those questions are almost entirely insincere. The people asking them have no real interest in your path. They are just seeking an easy way to understand you. “Oh, he’s a banker” or “He’s going back to school” and so on. 

Real life is messy. It doesn’t always come together cleanly. For those who don’t fit into pre-existing schemas, any of those social questions cannot be met with a simple answer. It’s more of a conversation than just a response. But again, most of the people asking aren’t interested in that.

So what do you do? I just stopped explaining and defending myself. Once I realized that people’s thoughts about me were incredibly divorced from the reality of being me, I stopped putting so much weight on what they thought—and vice versa. I don’t put a lot of stock in the thoughts I have about other people.

The only understanding you live with and the only understanding you require is your own. But you must be wholly honest and upfront with yourself on a moment to moment basis. 

And since these “what do you do” and other typical social questions are just bullshit inquiries, I usually just give bullshit answers. “I’m exploring self-consistent field methods for determining wave functions of polyelectronic atoms,” is one way to shift the conversation. 

Try approaching social interaction more like a game of self-expression rather than a battlefield of identity, it is much more peaceful and amusing that way. 

I’d definitely recommend the book The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron. I also lost my father to cancer and I understand it must be a very difficult experience to go through. But you have a wealth of strength and love inside yourself, which you will naturally uncover when you shift your focus from trying to find it outside. 

I will admit, these sorts of circumstances do tend to make clear who your real friends are.

Namaste my friend much love

Hi there! I have a question. I think you are a very smart and enthusiastic when it comes to stuff you do. So I have been wondering how do you keep up the "I can study all of this and I have enough energy" attitude? I am trying to be always enthusiastic (medical student) because I always loved science but lately I am kinda NAH i dont feel like learning new stuff anymore and I don´t know how to motivate myself. Any advice? thanks anyway:) and have a nice day!

You shouldn’t aspire to be always enthusiastic - it’s a state of being that is quite impossible to constantly maintain and is an unrealistic expectation for yourself, as detrimental as wanting to look like skinny beautiful photo-shopped celebrities or the images that fast food companies put out of their mouth-watering foods. The truth is, I get totally bummed out sometimes. My job can be draining, confusing, and demanding on occasion. I’m in a new city and I miss my friends, familiarity.  I spend weekends on my couch alone zoned out on reddit when I know I should be reading, researching, proactively doing. I’m learning to accept that sometimes it’s completely okay to do nothing. Your body needs time to process what you’ve learned, to ingest the information, and most of all to contextualize it.

I can’t tell you how to motivate yourself because I don’t know you, but partially what motivates me is my own frustration. After a while I get frustrated that I’ve been doing nothing, dissatisfied with watching the world continue while I sit idly by, seeing events and discussions carrying on which I am ultimately then compelled to contribute to. And I pick myself up and rejoin the conversation, I meet someone to start a dialogue with, I begin participating in collaborations. I go outside. 

Don’t force yourself, and don’t feel guilty when you’re taking a break. You will last much longer if you don’t burn yourself out in the beginning. 

We all have an infinite, constant path to walk.

Patience

‘The third quality of spiritual maturity is patience. Patience allows us to live in harmony with the dharma, the Tao. As Chuang Tzu stated:

The true men of old

Had no mind to fight Tao

They did not try by their own contriving

To help Tao along.

Spiritual maturity understands that the process of awakening goes through many seasons and cycles. It asks for our deepest commitment, that we take the one seat in our heart and open to every part of life.

True patience is not gaining or grasping, it does not seek any accomplishment. Patience allows us to open to that which is beyond time. When Einstein was illustrating the nature of time, he explained, “When you sit with a pretty girl for two hours, it seems like a minute, and when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, it seems like two hours. That’s relativity.” When the Buddha spoke of practicing for one hundred thousand mahakalpas of  lifetimes, he did not mean that it takes forever to awaken, but that awakening is timeless. Awakening is not a matter of weeks or years or lifetimes, but a loving and patient unfolding into the mystery just now.

“The problem with the word patience,” said Zen master Suzuki Roshi, “is that it implies we are waiting for something to get better, we are waiting for something good that will come. A more accurate word for this quality is ‘constancy,’ a capacity to be with what is true moment to moment after moment, to discover enlightenment one moment after another.” In the deepest way it understands that what we seek is what we are, and it is always here. The great Indian teacher Ramana Maharshi said to students who were weeping as his body died, “but where do you think I could go? Maturity of spiritual life allows us to rest just here in the truth that has always been and always will be.’

- Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart: A Guide Through the perils and Promises of Spiritual Life.