daintykeith - KEITH'S CORNER
KEITH'S CORNER

Writing articles & tips, some of my art and personal writing.

71 posts

An Oxford Comma Walks Into A Bar, Where It Spends The Evening Watching The Television, Getting Drunk,

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

  • fgcarchive
    fgcarchive reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • nevertrustatrickster
    nevertrustatrickster liked this · 9 months ago
  • quietblizzard
    quietblizzard reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • greenmtwoman
    greenmtwoman liked this · 9 months ago
  • the-sun-is-often-out
    the-sun-is-often-out reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • the-sun-is-often-out
    the-sun-is-often-out liked this · 9 months ago
  • renee561
    renee561 reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • captainelliecomb
    captainelliecomb reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • n1ghtmarewa1ker
    n1ghtmarewa1ker reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • orionsguard
    orionsguard reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • piiinco
    piiinco liked this · 9 months ago
  • iwishiwereclever
    iwishiwereclever reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • committeenumber3
    committeenumber3 reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • tnsmeta
    tnsmeta liked this · 9 months ago
  • tnsmeta
    tnsmeta reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • thegoddamnfeels
    thegoddamnfeels reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • thegoddamnfeels
    thegoddamnfeels liked this · 9 months ago
  • angstbotfic
    angstbotfic reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • this-glitter-pussay
    this-glitter-pussay liked this · 9 months ago
  • witcheverpath
    witcheverpath liked this · 10 months ago
  • might-as-well-happen
    might-as-well-happen reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • might-as-well-happen
    might-as-well-happen liked this · 10 months ago
  • cyrilthetoaster
    cyrilthetoaster reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • sharpteetheyesinfront
    sharpteetheyesinfront reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • danceswithsweaters
    danceswithsweaters liked this · 10 months ago
  • mswhatisbread
    mswhatisbread reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • mswhatisbread
    mswhatisbread liked this · 10 months ago
  • constantramble
    constantramble reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • constantramble
    constantramble liked this · 10 months ago
  • lavenderagenda
    lavenderagenda liked this · 10 months ago
  • lizardlizardlizardlizard
    lizardlizardlizardlizard reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • sinilumi
    sinilumi reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • randominfandom
    randominfandom reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • randominfandom
    randominfandom liked this · 10 months ago
  • gayemoji
    gayemoji liked this · 10 months ago
  • kissyboytroye
    kissyboytroye liked this · 10 months ago
  • spiderinthecupboard
    spiderinthecupboard reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • sha-riza
    sha-riza reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • dastabby
    dastabby reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • mau13121
    mau13121 reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • itsmooniie
    itsmooniie reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • lia-li
    lia-li liked this · 10 months ago
  • mayalynx
    mayalynx liked this · 10 months ago
  • veryspicyhoney
    veryspicyhoney liked this · 10 months ago
  • birdshitonyourcar
    birdshitonyourcar liked this · 10 months ago
  • seeinhindsight
    seeinhindsight liked this · 10 months ago
  • adastra-andallthat
    adastra-andallthat liked this · 10 months ago
  • bryony-rebb
    bryony-rebb liked this · 10 months ago
  • doctormegalomania
    doctormegalomania reblogged this · 10 months ago

More Posts from Daintykeith

1 year ago

Resources for Writing Injuries

image

Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress

Head Injuries

General Information | More

Hematoma

Hemorrhage

Concussion

Edema

Skull Fracture

Diffuse Axonal Injury

Neck

General Information

Neck sprain

Herniated Disk

Pinched Nerve

Cervical Fracture

Broken Neck

Chest (Thoracic)

General Information

Aortic disruption

Blunt cardiac injury

Cardiac tamponade

Flail chest

Hemothorax

Pneumothorax (traumatic pneumothorax, open pneumothorax, and tension pneumothorax)

Pulmonary contusion

Broken Ribs

Broken Collarbone

Keep reading

1 year ago
Neural correlates of interspecies perspective taking in the post-mortem Atlantic Salmon: an argument for multiple comparisons correction

one of the best academic paper titles

1 year ago

Friendly reminder

Friendly Reminder
1 year ago

powerful.

"Oh."

"Look at me."

"Please.

"Good boy."

"Don't follow me."

"Find me."

"I forgive you."

"Help me."

"No."

"Don't say that."

"Talk about it?"

"Forget me."

"Remember me."

"It's not over."

"Don't ignore me."

"Stay with me."

"I want to believe you."

"For you, always."

"Just... don't."

"There is no us."

"I don't need you."

"Leave me behind."

"Don't bother."

"Fear me."

"Break me."

"I don't care."

"This isn't the end."

"Please hold me."

"I'm right here."

"Wait for me."

"Kiss me."

"Ohh."