I Love The 4 Days Out Episode So Much And From A Fandom Standpoint It's So Funny. Like, First Of All,

I love the 4 days out episode so much and from a fandom standpoint it's so funny. Like, first of all, "did you just bring a methlab to the airport?" Then they're shacked up in the RV together for four days, taking shifts cooking meth. Walt teases Jesse about him only bringing junk food. He even tries a funyun and hates it. They watch the sunset and pee side by side for whatever reason. When they're done with cooking Jesse suggests they treat themselves to a motel room and a shower and a bed (singular) so Walt has to tell him to get "separate rooms". Then they get stranded and bicker like an old married couple. It's cold af in the night. Walt has to wear Jesse's clothes and he looks absolutely ridiculous. They don't showcase the night but it's a perfect scenario for huddling for warmth. They spend the next day in various states of despair and thinking about dying - Walt coughs up blood. And when all hope is lost we get a scene which the show creator lovingly refers to as a "post-coital scene". It mirrors Walt being in bed with his wife earlier in the same episode. Jesse comes up with the idea that saves their asses and doesn't even realize it. He also says "aaaah, wire", and that moment alone is emmy worthy. And just like that they fix it and drive off to live happily ever after or whatever (except there's still that motel they have to get to).

All in all 10/10 episode and a fandom staple with untapped potential.

walter doesn’t become a worse man over the course of brba. he just gets better at lying to himself about it. he always has that streak of cruelty in him - that part of him that keeps itself afloat by putting others down. we see it in season one in how he blackmails and verbally abuses jesse, how he treats that failing student, when he explodes the rich man’s car, when he beats up walt jr’s bullies. some of these things may have been justified - but through all of them we see walt being driven, energized, by those rushes of power, of cruelty. they may be justified, but that’s not why he did it. that’s just why he tells himself he did it, once it’s done. he was always driven by that rush of power, of cruelty, since day one.

and as time goes on we see how he gets better at these little excuses. he indulges himself more and more, bit by bit. he excuses his behavior towards his wife, his son, to jesse, to hank. walt uses jesse as a kind of life-raft, to keep his excuses and his yearning for power afloat. jesse is malleable, manipulatable, controllable. as the show’s body count rises walt tells jesse it’s alright, tells jesse it was all necessary, that they did what they had to do. he berates jesse to boost his own ego, uses jesse to keep himself in control, keeps jesse in an agonizing subordinate position all through the show, so he always has someone to keep him on top. to give him the power, the ego, the reassurance, the forgiveness that he needs. he isolates jesse, guilts jesse, shames jesse, and then when jesse breaks and does what walt wants - such as killing gale - he showers jesse with assurances, reminders that it’s okay. they did what they had to. there was no other choice.

and even as jesse forgives walt, over and over, buying walt’s excuses and manipulation, jesse can’t quite forgive himself. part of him understands it’s all bullshit. we see jesse try to fight it, without realizing who he’s fighting - screaming at the narcotics anonymous meeting, asking why? why does he, who killed a man, get to move on, say it means nothing, claim it was justified? by season 4, he’s accepted that it’s bullshit. he knows he’s a bad guy. he doesn’t do what walt does - chase himself in circles excusing, explaining, what he’s done. and so the rift between them - despite walt’s best efforts - starts to grow.

by the end of the show, walt doesn’t even need an excuse: walt is the excuse. he believes he’s the exception; the one who’s so smart, so exceptional, so special that whatever it takes to get his way is simply necessary. walter and heisenberg aren’t separate people, not really - it was all walter, right from the start - but walter likes to believe that they are; because heisenberg is special. heisenberg deserves better, so he should get better, no matter whose lives are at stake. it’s the classic case of a white man born and bred to believe he’s above all consequences.

so “heisenberg” isn’t a different person, not really. walt doesn’t turn into someone different over the course of the show. he is the same man, from the start to the end - an angry, bitter old man with an extraordinary capacity for cruelty.

pop pop got druged😈

watching breaking bad is like. what the fuck am i looking at this time. intro rolls. walt and jesse bite each other's dicks off. saul one-liner. very satisfying meth cooking montage. gus casually serves cunt. naked walt jumpscare. hank racist or otherwise insensitive remark. mike 🗿. jesse gets beat to shit. disgusting transition. skyler kicks walt out of the house. the music gets really sinister. we find out what the fuck the cold open was about and freak out. rinse and repeat.

And it's the best tv i have ever seen god bless

watching jesse say "can you drop the fake concerned father act and stop working me for ten seconds for once. Can you just tell me you need a favor" with his voice cracking, begging walt to stop manipulating him with affection, being afraid that he brought him out to the desert to kill him the way he did mike, and then completely crumbling and going limp as soon as walt hugs him is making chew through the drywall. I want to kill walter white the same way a playful orca would kill a seal

cuz when they break, boy do they break bad (im rewatching breaking bad)