I Am A Firm Believer That Ocs Are A Reflection Of The Self In The Way That Every Character You Create

i am a firm believer that ocs are a reflection of the self in the way that every character you create has to hold some piece of you to really feel alive. sometimes this is why all your ocs have certain traits, sometimes this is why you can track your various issues and traumas all the way from middleschool to now based on what your ocs are like. this is a feature not a bug

Aro and Ace Recommended

By the way- I haven't seen people talk about it much. But do my aro/ace folks know about the existence of the aro recommended and ace recommended sites?

Basically they're websites where ace and aro folks can submit recommendations for healthcare- both mental and physical- that is aspec friendly! I think its such a great resource- especially as somebody who had their gp pretty much hold a prescription hostage until I was forced to out myself (and then treated with disdain).

It would be great for people to contribute to if they have had good experiences so that aspec folks can stay safe (we do have one of the highest rate of being offered conversion therapy after all)

poly fluff alphabet ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍊 ꒱

a = affection; is anyone more overly affectionate than the others? when it comes to physical vs verbal, who prefers what?

b = bed; what’s the sleeping situation like? are there regular sleeping arrangements - does anyone like to sleep alone?

c = comfort; when someone’s feeling down, how do the rest look after them?

d = dates; what do dates look like? who usually plans them, or are is it a group affair?

e = events; who drags everyone else to their family/friends’ events?

f = fights; are arguments something that happen often? what are they over, and how are they resolved?

g = getting together; how did it all come about? were there any pre-existing relationships between them?

h = hobbies; does anyone share any hobbies/passions? how do they include the rest of their partners in them?

i = in sickness and in health - when someone falls ill, who’s the carer and who’s the germaphobe? is there anyone that resists being looked after?

j = joker; who’s got the best sense of humour? do they like to tease and banter with everyone else?

k = knowing; who can read their partners like a book? is there anyone who’s got their walls up, even around their partners?

l = lavish; is there anyone who really likes to treat their partners/show them off? how do the rest tend to react - who revels in it, and who’s made shy by it?

m = memories - is anyone more on the sentimental side?

n = nights; what’s the nighttime routine like when they’re all together?

o = open; how open is everyone with one another?

p = pda; what’s pda like with them? is there anyone who loves it, and anyone who’s less fond of it? what actions/words does it manifest as?

q = quiet; who prefers to spend their time with their partners out and about, and who likes to spend it at home?

r = romantic; is anyone a bit of a sap for their partners?

s = sharing; is there anyone who’s particularly territorial of their partners?

t = terms of endearment; nicknames! who’s crazy on them, and who do they make cringe? what’re the go-to’s?

u = urge; who’s the most impulsive? who do they loop into their plans, and who entertains their antics?

v = vacations; how do holidays go? are they big exotic trips, or the occasional staycation?

w = worthy; how are insecurities handled? is anyone more self-conscious than the others?

x = xoxo; who checks up on their partners a lot when they’re apart? do they call, or are texts enough to make them feel close?

y = yearn; who misses their partners the easiest (ie, calls them to hear their voices when all they’ve done is run to the grocery store)?

z = zealous; who was especially eager in their pursuit of the relationship? was anyone more reserved in their want for it?

How about Y and S for the poly prompts?

I already have so many fics on my plates right now that I do not have the energy to do another, but still wanted to do something for @equalopportunitysolas this week, so we're doing polycule headcanons instead! Link to the questions here. The polycule is pretty complex (I have included a handy reference chart), and includes a variety of relationships between: Solas, Ghilara Lavellan, Dorian, Isabela, Merrill and Hawke.

y = yearn; who misses their partners the easiest (ie, calls them to hear their voices when all they’ve done is run to the grocery store)?

Solas. All the way. This man knows how to pine. He has it perfected down to an artform. I think he does have a lot of the 'I don't deserve her' referring to Ghilara and Shiralla in particular. He doesn't have them to a toxic level, but he is frequently astounded that people keep him around after the whole 'tried to destroy the world' thing. Plus, he does have a decade of missed time to make up for...

I wouldn't quite call Merrill a big yearner, but she would be the one who would always be excited to write and send out Christmas Saturnalia cards every year to all the polycule members. Even when Bela is away she writes to her often, and keeps the contact details of any partners/fwb she has, just in case she needs to send them a card or gift basket at Saturnalia. She also has a spy in Dorian's household staff who lets her know if Dorian is seeing anybody so she can include him. Dorian keeps trying to find her spy so he can buy them off but has not yet succeeded.

s = sharing; is there anyone who’s particularly territorial of their partners?

I think this one goes to Isabela and Dorian.

Bela would be super protective of literally all of the women in the polycule, especially Ghilara and Merrill, because she feels they're too kind and knows that the world takes advantage of good and kind people. Merrill would find it sweet, and Ghilara would bristle at it, but reluctantly give in.

Dorian would be also very protective of Ghil, because of his involvement in fighting Solas. He and Ghilara trauma bonded, first over Redcliff, and then the 10 years between games. I think he has got a ways to go on trusting Solas again, so he's going 'I got my eye on you' to him. He trusts Ghilara to make her own decisions, but he's ready to be there with a fireball if Solas goes off to destroy the world again.

I was also going to say Solas, but I actually think he would be super chill. Setting up platonic fade hang outs for Ghil and Dorian when they're in different countries, cooking dinner for Ghilara and Isabela after they've hooked up. He compensates for a lack of jealousy with poor self esteem and truly extraordinary amounts of yearning.

Romance is often very dehumanizing,personally.

Being hyper dependent on someone (as if you have no autonomy)

The idea that it is what 'makes you human' which is dangerous for all kinds of reasons and is the most literal display of the dehumanization.

I am not someone's purpose as I am 1 person. No more, no less. Sure I cant be replaced, but that kind of pressure literally leads to people losing their lives due to abuse. A purpose can not be a person inherently.

The idea that my whole world exists in my lovers arms sounds like a cage with 2 bars.

Me when asexuals just say "asexual" when they mean ace AND aro:

[Image ID: An emoji looking exhausted at a phone, with a translucent aroallo flag overlayed on it. /end ID]