Cornchrunchie - Cornchrunchie

@official-german-translationen

How I love that German has a rather long word for ‘car insurance’ but merely three letters for ‘existential despair and the meaninglessness of life’.

https://www.behance.net/gallery/47744739/Dirk-Gentlys-Holistic-Detective-Agency

I love it and I need it

Notes from the DGHDA teaching AU I’ll never write.

Todd is a failed musician who turned to teaching music. He’s depressed, but that comes off as ~dark and brooding~ to his students so the younger and more impressionable ones get crushes on him. His lesson plans are kinda messy tbh, and his marking is always late, but he has a real passion for music and students appreciate that. 

Dirk is a teacher’s aide - he’s got ADHD but manages it really well so he’s VERY good at getting through to students with behavioural issues. He helps manage a student in Todd’s senior class who wants to go into music but needs a LOT of help to get a decent enough grade for the course he wants. Whenever a student Dirk works with Gets something, or finishes a project, they do the “did it! done it!” dance which is very silly but he can get even the angriest students to do it by the end of the year. Dirk also always carries lollies around which the students love. He and Todd carpool so rumours spread about them - rumours which, to be frank, are true. They are indeed falling in love.

Farah is a PE teacher. She’s very strict in managing her expectations of students and always gets marking done ASAP. Her lesson plans are flawless and she’s the sports coordinator for the whole school. Students try to test her sometimes but she’s gotten a lot better at managing her anxiety around kids because they are, after all, just kids. It’s adults she really struggles with.

Tina is the secretary at the front office but she’s … not very good at it. Many many rumours abound about her being high at work but for some reason she’s never fired. She has a huge crush on Farah and is always trying to flirt with her. This has the unintended side effect of making Farah so flustered that she avoids the front office all together.

Sherlock is the school principal and he’s not … really … sure how he managed that. Farah is unofficially the acting principal. The students think Sherlock’s kinda useless but they still like him.

Ken is the strict IT teacher with encyclopedic knowledge of the subject. Students respect him because he’s old school, and he’s the unofficial IT guy overall because their current guy, Riggins, is useless.

Bart is the janitor and there are a lot of rumours about her being a serial killer, which she encourages. Absolutely everybody loses their shit when they find out that Ken and Bart live together. The nature of their relationship is still under investigation.

Panto and Silas are the cute married couple who live across the street from the school and occasionally bring food to the PTA meetings even though they have no children?

Amanda is a part time teacher due to her health issues, and she teaches art, drama, and music. Students really like her because she’s laid back and has embarrassing stories about Todd which she saves for when they’ve done all their work. 

She works with the Rowdy 3, who are a youth outreach drama group that do a lot of weird avant garde activities with the kids to get them out of their shells. The kids like them because it’s an excuse to get out of class every couple of weeks.

The school also hosts an adult education class at night which Hugo attends - he receives help from Dirk as he’s functionally illiterate. He’s decided to turn his life around for the better after getting kicked out of the army for shooting his own leg by accident.

Estevez and Zimmerfield are the maths and science teachers respectively, and Eztevez was a student teacher under Zimmerfield during college.

Finally, Mona is the librarian who never gets you the book you actually wanted - but always one you’ll enjoy nonetheless.