Deavineaux: We're Going To Arrest You For Hacking Into Our Government Databases-

Deavineaux: we're going to arrest you for hacking into our government databases-

Player: umm??? I'm literally neurodivergent and a minor?

Varian: I’m going to kill you.!

Eugene: How? Your tiny, you can’t even reach my collar.

Varian: you’ve sunk low enough for me to reach.

—-

Eugene: Why is Rapunzel on the floor?

Varian: I-I tried to threaten her and-

Rapunzel, from the floor: HE COULDNT GRAB ME! HE HAD TO STOP TO GET A STOOL SO WE’D BE NEAR THE SAME HEIGHT!

Eugene: So, why are you on the floor?

Varian: She got on the stool with me, I had to kick it out from under both of us.

Eugene: Okay, but why?

Varian, exasperated: To show dominance!

—-

Eugene: I hate everything you stand for

Cassandra: Then kneel, mother fu-

—-

Varian, pissed and single handedly taking down bandits: TELL ME THE NAME OF GOD, YOU LITTLE-

Hugo: *Absolutely smitten*

IM SORRY IM JUST THINKING OF-

Zack, calling Carmen: hey, so we wanted to see if Ivy's fangs were sharp enough to pierce flesh. And did you know they are??? It's like super cool. Really amazing stuff.

Zack: anyways I need a ride to the hospital

queue the moment of Carmen somehow noticing Ivy’s lil sharp cat teefs and bein like “you have fangs??” and she gets all close n all and Ivy’s flustered mweheheh

Carmen...please...go easy on your catgf (ft. Zack, a dumbass)

A VILE op wearing a mask and holding Player: ha! Carmen Sandiego, I have stolen your teammate and to free him, you must-!

Carmen: Sonia, what did I tell you about holding your little brother hostage?

Sonia, begrudgingly setting Player down: not to...

Shadowsan: why do you have a knife?

Carmen: I complimented Player and he nearly started crying so I'm going to go fist fight his dad in a denny's parking lot at 3 am

JAIL.

the nowhere king from centaurworld is unfuckable! what the fuuuuck