A Question! For The Void

A Question! For The Void

It's April 29th, and a wedding that will pull me from my duties in Okaloosa County is on the horizon. The wedding is Axton and Macy. One thing I would like to say before I ask my question is that I love weddings. I adore the planning aspects, the flower arrangements, the food, the symbolism of two people becoming one is something so passionately breathtaking that only a heartless person could say they truly hate weddings. Forget customs and traditions, it's about love, plain and simple. Another thing I would like to say is that Macy and Axton are both wonderful, and great for each other. 

So, onto the question. 

With the wedding coming up, I wanted to speak to Axton about the wedding, about if the dress I chose is appropriate, about how Barry was doing, about how he was doing, really. So I pick up the phone and dial his number and listen to the hum of waiting before the phone crackles. "Oh hello, this is Macy! What-" click.

I looked back at the phone in my hands. 'Call Ended, 11:25'

Yeah, I had hung up on her. There was no taking that back. So I ask whoever is out there in the void that is Tumblr, do I call back? It's already been at least twenty minutes. Do I hope they don't have caller ID, and that they assume that this was a wrong number call? I'm all ears.

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent. I forgot not everyone wants to be a part of this empty, vacant blog.)

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A Report! From Inside The Walls of Taylor

'I'm having such naughty thoughts of you in different scenarios with that little dress on too :3'

I read the text on the online chat room. 

And then I read it again. Going onto an 18+ chat room just to post pictures of myself in dresses for validation, how did it get to here? I had to lean into some form of attention. I had to feel seen, and if that was wrong

Why did it feel so right?

'Oh thank you 💛' I type back. The people here, they're nice. They see me. There's nothing wrong with wanting attention. I'm being perfectly reasonable. 'I'm gonna be honest, you have wonderful curves, you definitely got my preferred body type. You're absolutely beautiful and I'm just so thrilled you posted asking for opinions because wow…'

I smiled for a second because I felt like I reached a level of adoration I was looking for. Then, something from deep in my stomach twisted, there was regret. I thought I would feel better. I thought this would give me some sort of control over my life, that I was desperately craving, and now I no longer wished to be me. So instead, we'll focus on someone better than I could ever be. We'll focus on Taylor.

This story starts with a young lady named Taylor Peyton. Moving to the tiny town tucked away in Okaloosa County was not what she had originally wanted. What she had wanted was the stormy skies of New England and the dark secrets the land itself seemed to carry. Taylor loved all things dark, peculiar. She found herself enjoying things others tended to shy away from. These sunny beaches did not hold even an ounce of mystery that she found herself craving.

 She couldn't stay in Arizona though. There was no way she could, not after everything. The juxtaposition that she wanted to believe in something more, something supernatural and surreal, and that she didn't believe in it existing- this was not lost on her. That the very fact that it seemed so unlikely in her eyes. That she actively seeked out ways to prove herself wrong. To prove that there was some meaning behind the chaos in her life. Niceville was a letdown. Working at Mallmart, was a letdown.

So when the power outage first happened on that sunny Thursday, she hadn't thought anything of it at first.

And when she went to bed at night, after everything she had seen, after all the signs that there could be something out there, she sweeped those thoughts away as a simple dream. It wasn't until a hot and sunny Monday, that she began to suspect something was very  wrong. 

There in the gardening section of the store, Taylor felt at ease. People rarely bugged her in the gardening section. While everyone in Mallmart would agree that Taylor was the perfect employee-

The other associates, management, all the customers in a single disembodied voice- 

Taylor would still prefer silence to think, to reflect on her findings about the strange chain store in the middle of nowhere because she did not seek the constant validation of customers and coworkers alike. In this time of reflection the first thing she came to notice was a dark figure staring at her from the corner of the gardening department. "Hello sir? May I help you?" The figure remains silent, gazing at her silently. Taylor, undeterred by this turn of events, begins to walk towards the dark and shadowy figure. "Hello?" 

"Taylor!" The store's overseer materialized behind her. She turns to face him, opting to read his name tag rather than look the man in the eyes. "We're going to need you to pick stock from the backrooms, I-"

"An idiot is trying to contact you on your cellular device! An idiot is trying to contact you on your cellular device!" His phone chimed, and Taylor didn't miss his grimace. She found herself wondering if it was appropriate for the overseer to have this ring tone on their work cell. "Please don't be who I think it is.." He gave a nearly silent prayer, hissing through his lips before opening the old flip phone. "Hello?"

"Heeey, Mr. Greenwood." The man's scowl deepened at my voice over the phone. "About the modules being flexed in the home department, what-"

"Ciara, did you really need to call me for this? What did I tell you about emergencies only?"

"Another thing, and I think you'll find this imperative- there may be a small fire in electronics right now. Stacy had asked me to call you-"

"Put it out!"

"Okay, will do, but one thing- How old is this fire extinguisher? It's not-" He hung up abruptly. "I'm going to have to go bring her the working fire extinguisher. Just focus on the stock and not whatever you've been staring at for the last 15 minutes." Most people would've just gone back to work. Most people would've chalked this up to just a strange day, or their head playing tricks on them. As we established though, Taylor Peyton is not like most people.

"Where is Aiden? Did he get eaten by the customers?" I ask from across the break room. "No, he and Marni are waiting by the deli. I don't know how they can eat something so heavy on lunch break. Whenever I do that I always get sicky." She stares at me tentatively. "Okay, dude. My mother didn't believe I had ADHD until today when I actually got diagnosed!" Aiden comes into the room in a flourish. "I showed her the hand tremors and everything. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm also like, slightly on the spectrum too."

" I absolutely believe you have adhd, but that is not a symptom. You might have raynaud's syndrome. So wait, what makes you think you have autism? Because I have autism as well." She says, suddenly serious. 

"This is going to sound strange but speaking of symptoms of mental health, have you ever taken your clothes off in public because your clothes got wet?" I chime in. 

"What? Dude, no!"

"Oh…"

"Wait, there's a story behind this. What-"

"So one day, on the first day of first grade. It rained and so, in my infinite wisdom, I took off all my clothes, and got in trouble with my mother."

"I'm sure you did!"

"Another time," I continued, watching the alarm on Aiden's face. "I was getting ready to go to martial arts class and my ghee was still damp. My mother said we didn't have time to dry it completely so I… well I mean I dealt with it, but it was awkward when I had to practice kicks and a stream of toilet paper came flying from my pant leg-"

"You mummified yourself?"

"It was like a dirty magic trick."

"Dude really pulled a rock lee here-"

"Who?" I asked, and Aiden burst into barking laughter. "Don't mind him, he's sleep deprived." Taylor says pointedly. "You say that like you aren't!" And at this comment, Taylor fails to hide her guilty smile, face coloring like a blooming stargazer lily. 

And as entertaining the color of Taylor's face is, this was not where the story truly began. No, the story  began when break was over, and we were back on the sales floor. Taylor found herself thinking back to that morning. Taylor thought about all of her time working here. How it seemed like so much had happened in such a short time. How it seemed like so much that went against what she believed what seems absolute, now seemed impossibly possible. 'Surely, this was all in my head,' was what she thought to herself. 'Surely this is all my brain playing tricks on me.'

 She looked at the box in her hand, only to find that it didn't have a written store location on its backroom label. She breathed out an irritated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose before pulling out her scanner. 'No Sales floor location.' Even when Taylor cut into the box and pulled out the stock to scan, it still refused to tell her where the item belonged, stubbornly. So, that was why she found herself making her way back through the store to where Aiden and I were. 

Someone else was making their way to the far corner of the store as well though. Someone who would leave us all questioning the nature of our own heads, and this small little town tucked away in Okaloosa County. "The UPC label on this looks damaged!" Taylor called, but her voice did not raise much louder than her usual speaking voice. It was enough for Aiden to hear all the same. "Let me see that," He grumbles, but pauses his advance when his gaze flickers up. A sound caught her attention, hauntingly distinct against the dull hustle and bustle of Mallmart. Taylor heard something wet and nauseating, flesh like cracking, tendons popping. Something was very wrong, because now Aiden and I were hugging onto each other. 'Those two don't even like each other,' she thought, turning her gaze to see what was the issue. Before Taylor could truly comprehend what she was seeing, she was moving back, back far behind the two cowaring together in a huddled position asking if they saw what the other saw. 

Muscles and sinew all twitching, veins and arteries moving, vividly, pulsing with the life that should be impossible for a man lacking this much skin, she could see his heart moving, sinking down almost impossibly in his chest when he looked at her. She couldn't make out what he was saying but it sounded like he was retching out a name; her name. He was vomiting up her name in a guttural, disturbed sound.

 Aiden shoved me in front to deal with this man, but I stayed quiet for a moment, trying to understand what was happening. Customers passed by, undisturbed. Mallmart continued on in a sickening harmony. "Hello sir, h-how may I help you today?" I smile tightly, looking him up and down. His teeth were gripped out like a racehorse. His frame was blurry, as if dislodged in time.

"̵̨̥̬̲̖̼̙̻̫̫̝̗̎̌͝ͅÎ̸̢͔̗̲̫̈́͠͝ţ̴̨̢͍̘̩̯̘̙͔̞̤͔͛̀́͑̋̿̎̓͘̚̚͝͠ͅî̴̻̩̜̓̕ ̶̟̺̀̊͊̎͌͌̆̈́̋̂̚̚͝͝ạ̷̛̖̬͙̓̈́̐̀̃͆̑͝ḿ̸̛̖̤̽͋̒̏̋̾̃̅̈́̐̄̅̕i̵̡̛͚̫̫̖̟͉͉͖͚͎̭̦̫̝̽̂̍͊̆̓͆͠͝n̴̤̪͒̓̏̃̄̈͆́̍̑͘̕͠t̸̩͉̤͔͎̬͑ḙ̷̡̞̪̼̮͓̫͈̹̍̈́̌̌̚͠ͅş̴̨̹͒̎̔̕ͅt̴̢̛̯̤͈̪̹̗̣̪͂͋̂̽͐͌̈́͌́͌͝͠ȉ̶̧̼̹̤̲̳̘̗̝̖̬̯̓͗̀́̀͗̍͆͜ͅ ̴̗̺̼̞̲̦͓̹̖͕̏̋̈́̈́̓̊̾̃̑̃̈̾̓͜d̸̢̬͕̝̳͓̣͈̜̩̠͎̤͓̓̄͜͝ë̷̫̘͙̯̒̋͒̽̌̒̀̀̌̑͜ ̴̢̛̞̩͚̮̰̻͍̠̬̤̫̅͋͗̉͑̉͑̈́̕̕m̸̨̧̢͉̙̰̞̪͈͉̯̤̻͉͂̽͊̅̉̇̄͗͊̔̅̿͗i̴̢̧̊̅͆̉͝ṉ̷̥̥͉̪͈̫̼̘͙̹͘̚͝e̷̩͍͉̼͙͕̯̖͖̿̾͑̉ͅͅ"̸̨̢̧̥̩̠̱̹̥̹̰̲͓͈́͐͊̌̔̈́̉͂͛͌͛̉͘͝͝ͅ

"I'm sorry sir, I don't' und-derstand your accent. You see, I'm from up north and-"

"̵̨̥̬̲̖̼̙̻̫̫̝̗̎̌͝ͅÎ̸̢͔̗̲̫̈́͠͝ţ̴̨̢͍̘̩̯̘̙͔̞̤͔͛̀́͑̋̿̎̓͘̚̚͝͠ͅî̴̻̩̜̓̕ ̶̟̺̀̊͊̎͌͌̆̈́̋̂̚̚͝͝ạ̷̛̖̬͙̓̈́̐̀̃͆̑͝ḿ̸̛̖̤̽͋̒̏̋̾̃̅̈́̐̄̅̕i̵̡̛͚̫̫̖̟͉͉͖͚͎̭̦̫̝̽̂̍͊̆̓͆͠͝n̴̤̪͒̓̏̃̄̈͆́̍̑͘̕͠t̸̩͉̤͔͎̬͑ḙ̷̡̞̪̼̮͓̫͈̹̍̈́̌̌̚͠ͅş̴̨̹͒̎̔̕ͅt̴̢̛̯̤͈̪̹̗̣̪͂͋̂̽͐͌̈́͌́͌͝͠ȉ̶̧̼̹̤̲̳̘̗̝̖̬̯̓͗̀́̀͗̍͆͜ͅ ̴̗̺̼̞̲̦͓̹̖͕̏̋̈́̈́̓̊̾̃̑̃̈̾̓͜d̸̢̬͕̝̳͓̣͈̜̩̠͎̤͓̓̄͜͝ë̷̫̘͙̯̒̋͒̽̌̒̀̀̌̑͜ ̴̢̛̞̩͚̮̰̻͍̠̬̤̫̅͋͗̉͑̉͑̈́̕̕m̸̨̧̢͉̙̰̞̪͈͉̯̤̻͉͂̽͊̅̉̇̄͗͊̔̅̿͗i̴̢̧̊̅͆̉͝ṉ̷̥̥͉̪͈̫̼̘͙̹͘̚͝e̷̩͍͉̼͙͕̯̖͖̿̾͑̉ͅͅ"̸̨̢̧̥̩̠̱̹̥̹̰̲͓͈́͐͊̌̔̈́̉͂͛͌͛̉͘͝͝ͅ

I looked back to see Taylor was already gone, because Taylor is a woman of action. She sees danger, and she acts. She wouldn't be here with us today, if she didn't. So when something this troubling happened, Taylor didn't wait to see what would happen next. Pulse thumping against her neck, she ran over to where the phone in the gardening center sat. 

And then, she dialed the tone for Okaloosa emergency services.