I Get Really Excited When I Get A Call From Someone Unexpectedly, But It's Usually Just Them Butt-dialing

I get really excited when I get a call from someone unexpectedly, but it's usually just them butt-dialing me.

My sentiments exactly.

ϟ

The Motivation Game. My college life.

Agreed.

Why is my boyfriend such a pain? He is always putting me down and embarrassing me in front of his friends when he’s drunk. I want leave him but don't know how because I love him with all my heart but he sometimes treats me like shit. Please help, he never talks with me- when he does always lies. We sometimes have good times together but it only when we having sex. He never spends time with me and he doesn't support me emotionally- he's always busy when I call him. What should I do?

Here is what you do, in precise order:

Open up your email. 

Compose a new message, to him.

Write, “I can’t stand the thought of even hearing your disgusting voice or seeing your pathetic excuse for a face again, you limp-dicked cowardly toad of a human being, and therefore I am dumping you over email. Never contact me again, you garbage bag full of moldy diapers.”

Send the email.

Go to the nearest mirror and say to yourself, “I can do better. I deserve to be treated well, with basic respect and dignity. I can conquer the entire fucking world if I want to. No one has a right to harm me emotionally or physically; no one is entitled to treat me like shit. Real love doesn’t hurt. I deserve real love.”

Repeat if necessary.

Mace or taser him if he comes near you.

I hope this helped.

Yours,A Supervillain

Dissecting Owl Vomit

Owl pellets = owl barf. It’s a cereal of fur, claws, teeth, and bones in a nice, neat package covered with a thin film of owl saliva. Opening it is the most morbid art project ever, but it’s worth it because the accomplishment you feel when you haven’t cracked every bone is so, so sweet. Just look at that beautiful, mostly-not-cracked rodent skull. The little dear.

Owl guts have serious organization skills.

Fur. Fur everywhere. Remains of rodent is rampant in all the places.

I think the real issue here is how to produce hot dogs long enough to fill both ends of the bun. I've always eaten the dogless bun part first to get it over with, until I realized this is a solvable problem.