Nvm They R Ghosting Me Again!

nvm they r ghosting me again!

it's been a whole year since they were supposed 2 contact me

so i out of desperation phoned up my gender identity clinic again this morning when they hadn't been responding 2 me 4 ages, turns out it was the right thing 2 do tho bc it turns out that it WASN'T that my gender therapist was ghosting me when i heard nothing back from her and it's not that the gender identity clinic was ghosting me when i was getting no response from them when i tried to email, it turns out that MY DOCTOR QUIT AND I WASN'T NOTIFIED and then THE CLINIC SHUT DOWN FOR 5 MONTHS AND I WASN'T NOTIFIED, this whole time i thought that i was being deliberately ignored after having recently discovered i might b intersex and that i was gonna have 2 go private and basically visit a different country 2 get affordable private health care trans surgeries like trans ppl had 2 do historically, i dunno i hav a lot of mixed feelings,,, like im relieved that i don't hav 2 go thru all that and that my gender identity clinic wasn't just ghosting me and that i might actually b able 2 get my top surgery thru the NHS like i was trying 2 but on the other hand it feels rly fucked up that i wasn't notified at all abt my gender therapist quitting or abt the clinic being shut down,,, and i was just left that whole time thinking it was my fault 4 telling them i thought i might b intersex,,,

i hate how i c ppl agreeing with this post when it's literally just some1 saying "ur oppression isn't as valid as mine" 2 every transmasc, also way 2 say transfems can't in any way contribute 2 the oppression of transmascs while contributing 2 the oppression of transmascs, also ur complaining abt us as transmascs "not seeing transmisogyny as its own separate axis of oppression" while at the same time refusing 2 do the same 4 our experiences, i fully understand that there r experiences that transfems hav that i don't hav, i just don't understand y u (OP) can't understand that there r also experiences unique 2 transmascs that u don't hav i don't think it's fair 4 any1 2 try 2 say that 1 or the other experience is "worse" or whatever and it doesn't help any1, ur kinda just being shitty 2 transmascs 4 no reason other than saying "we also hav experiences typically unique 2 being transmascs and sometimes transfems contribute 2 that" like ur saying that it's not that but then u go on 2 say that it's wrong 4 transmascs 2 not just immediately shut up abt our experiences especially when we're talking abt in-group transmascphobia 2 do w/ transfems being transmascphobic, which yes, does happen sometimes, bc u seem 2 think that we should b putting our own experiences down in order 2 please u and ur specific idea that u hav abt how sexism and transphobia works, since im guessing the reason u think that transfems can't contribute 2 transmascphobia is bc u think women can't b sexist? even though the reality is that yes sometimes women are sexist and sometimes women are sexist against men and since much like how transmisogyny is a term for the specific intersection between transphobia and sexism against women transmascphobia is the specific intersection between transphobia and sexism against men

if you honestly think sexism against men doesn't exist just look at how many times a man getting sexually assaulted (especially by a woman) is something that is played for laughs in adult comedy shows, look at the fact that in the UK (where i live) the legal definition of rape does not include the possibility of a man being raped making it impossible for men rape victims to seek justice, the fact that being a man is seen as inherently predatory and violent, the fact that being a man is seen as "gross" and "undesirable" in comparison to being a woman, being transmasc means i am literally losing legal protections i once had as a woman and it fucking sucks seeing ppl not even willing 2 acknowledge that we as transmascs go thru anything bc "it's not as bad as what transfems go thru" you don't know that, you don't know what our experiences are and you clearly don't listen when we try to tell you and when did we go from "transphobia sucks in all its forms and some groups of the trans community experience branches of transphobia that are more specific to that part of the trans community" to "transfems always have it the worst so no1 else's experiences r valid and u shouldn't listen 2 any1 else u should only listen 2 transfems"

sorry abt this being so angry i just keep seeing this sentiment over and over again and this was the straw that broke the camal's back and i just rly needed 2 say smth this time instead of trying 2 avoid conflict

I’ve said before that I don’t care if transmascs create terminology for their experiences with transphobia, that my real problem with “transandrophobia” is who has been using it and how it’s been used to vilify transfems, and even put forward “transmascphobia” as an alternative, but... If you’re still putting “transmascphobia” (or whatever term you choose to use) on the same level as transmisogyny, then it becomes pretty obvious that you haven’t really been paying attention. It indicates to me that you still think transmascs and transfems experience equal-opposite oppression, that transmisogyny is just “transphobia for girls,” or that transfems can in any way contribute to the oppression of transmascs. If you say “transmascphobes and transmisogynists DNI” or whatever, it indicates to me that you still haven’t put any thought or effort into actually understanding what transmisogyny is. You’re still trying to conceptualize it through the lens of how transmascs/TME trans people experience transphobia instead of seeing it as its own separate axis of oppression.

UPDATE!

so i started having some problems with the disney baby baby bottles, mainly that they started getting really noisy when i tried to drink from them in a way that was really upsetting to me and made it difficult 4 me 2 drink from them (sensory sensitivity) so i decided 2 try out some baby bottles made by NUK and 1 of the 1s i tried out was this new 1 called "perfect match" so i tried those out and they r working out really well 4 me so far! im using the "universal" spout 4 them and so far they r a lot quieter than the disney baby brand baby bottles, they also seem 2 b able 2 do both warm and cold drinks and i haven't had any major issues with them so far

any1 hav any tips on brands that make good sippy cups? asking as a disabled adult who started using sippy cups recently bc i can't drink anything from a regular mug or cup w/out spilling and also hurting my wrists, i previously used water bottles 2 combat this problem but i was still having the problem of them being 2 big 4 my hands and also i then had 2 individually clean all the straws which is a lot 4 some1 w/ my lvl of chronic fatigue and brain fog, w/ sippy cups so far im having an easier time since they r smaller which means they fit better in my hands and also they usually hav a spout but not a straw and i find the spout way easier 2 clean since i don't gotta get in there w/ a special brush like i do w/ straws

tl;dr: help a disabled himbo who probably? also has dwarfism? by giving me some recs 4 sippy cups

-no sippy cups w/ straws since that makes it difficult 2 clean

-no sippy cups specifically designed 4 adults since they would probably b 2 big 4 my hands given that the 1s that r made 4 kids r a better size 4 me

-1s with handles r preferable since they help me keep my grip better but recs 4 1s that don't hav handles r also okay :)

-must b no spill or at least very difficult 4 it 2 spill

this is a post abt disability and i do not want my disability or disability aids fetishised

kink blogs DNI, fetish blogs DNI, nsfw blogs DNI

100% agree w u on the it being acephobic thing, that's y i felt it was important 2 point it out, im not ace myself but im aro so i get ppl being weird abt aspec identities also thanks 4 the support on my ASPD Jax hc! tbh i think i notice it bc me and him share a lot of similar traits

I’d be genuinely curious to know how people headcanon Jax’s sexual orientation, because in my mind he’s like, undoubtedly gay, but that doesn’t seem to be the majority opinion!

Can I do polls? I’m gonna do a poll.

ultimately a lot of feminists will look down on or outright condemn transmasculinity and transmanhood simply because it is not narratively satisfying. because transmasculine identity and joy does not mesh with their feminism-as-defined-by-cis-women. they see trans men&mascs and, immediately or deep down, feel disappointed. by the womanhood dropouts. feel that transmasculine people will always be less feminist, or that they relinquished their place when they "quit" or "betrayed" their "sisters." they may not even hate trans men, they may not even be cisgender, it's just that they think it would be such a better look for the movement if you didn't... you know.

anyways. without acknowledging this feminist discomfort with transmasculinity and transmanhood, how it's caused by the friction between trans m&ms and cissexist feminism, we'll keep being failed over and over and over again by our own communities. we need to change the narratives we prize instead of treating trans men's identity as a problem to be solved.

the Ken tumblr tag is not a safe space 4 oppressed men and that's a real problem (talking abt Ken from the Barbie movie)

i shouldn't b having 2 deal w/ most of the tag being either ppl acting like men can't b oppressed and r always oppressors or sexualising Ken in a rly fucked up and dehumanising way or making fun of Ken having emotions and his own struggles in the movie, none of u learned anything from Ken's story in the movie i hate it here, i hate how even now i feel like i need 2 make this post devoid of my own personal emotions 2 b taken seriously

Ken is a perfect analogy for being an oppressed man, the fact that he's a himbo makes him a good analogy 4 existing at the intersection of being a man and having some sort of cognitive/intellectual disabilities (speaking as some1 who has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury i suffered b4 i was a year old) and its present in the way the ppl around him treat him, he wants 2 leave Barbie's side for a little bit and she says "don't go 2 far" he wants 2 go 2 the library and she says "don't get in trouble" he's consistently seen as her accessory, the movie mentions how it's not fair that some women are expected 2 "mother" their male partner and that's true its not fair but it also SHOWS us that sometimes women push that onto oppressed men, Ken is very clearly upset when Barbie mothers him, getting upset when she tells him not 2 go 2 far or not 2 get into trouble like he's a child and it's also not fair that some women push that onto men (usually disabled men) and expect those men to just allow them to "mother" them and infantilise them and dehumanise them and then on top of that because of Ken being a man he is taught that the only way he can gain respect is by taking over and starting fights and wars

so yeah, genuinely fuck you guys for seeing a movie about how both men and women deserve better and then choosing to ignore half the message because you would rather get wasted on gender essentialist politics that tells you that women are always safe and men are always oppressors so you can make jokes about killing all men and traumatising all men because each man is the same to you, i am a disabled, gay, trans man of colour and i am so fucking sick of this shit and i genuinely thought i would be able to escape that in the Ken tumblr tag and just be able to see posts from ppl who get it since that's partly what the Barbie movie was about but no, because oppressed men can't have anything, in fact i'm probably gonna get a bunch of comments making fun of me for being emotional because u guys probably also think men shouldn't b allowed 2 hav feeling right?