Tags.

tags.

#rants ⪩⪨ - honestly just random stuff, usually my intrusive thoughts or inner monologue

#recs ⪩⪨ - my fave works from other authors!!

#chaconadine ⪩⪨ - works and rants written by me >.<

clementine ☆ heeseung lee

☆ non-idol! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: heeseung was home for the summer. but so were you, the one girl that he's always hated since your playground days. the worst part was that you suddenly got hot, and now he had no idea what to do with himself. unfortunately, an entire year of not seeing each other creates the perfect conditions for one of you (or both of you) to catch feelings! ☆ genre: fluff, college! au, loser!heeseung, boyfailure x girlboss, nerdy heeseung LOL, childhood enemies to lovers, neighbors au!, humor, #patheticmen, suggestive-ish but not rlly ☆ warning(s)? loser!heeseung is SO awkward you might get embarrassed MEOW ☆ word count: 16.1k words ☆ based off the song "clementine" by grentperez. i hope this feels summery and cutesy hehe

Heeseung swore that he was going crazy.

Because why on earth was he actually attracted to you?

You, who used to kick over his sandcastles in the sandbox. You, who always hogged the slides at the playground. You, who always made a point to get him first in a game of tag. You, who always rolled your eyes at him no matter what he said. You, who made it clear to him and everyone on the face of the earth that you couldn’t stand him.

Heeseung couldn’t believe that he was even thinking about it— Why were you hot?

It's been about two weeks since Heeseung returned home for summer break. He'd finished his first full term at UC San Diego, majoring in communications. He had been living in the dorms the entire year, so it's been quite a while since Heeseung had been home.

Unfortunately for him, it seemed like nothing had changed.

They always said that adulthood and college really changes a person. But Heeseung felt the same as always.

All throughout middle school and highschool, Heeseung's summer days were often spent indoors. Reading books, drawing in his sketchbooks, playing video games, talking to his friends, and sometimes even laying in complete silence and just staring at the ceiling. 

And all these years later, Heeseung was still doing the same this summer. 

It's only the beginning of summer, but Heeseung has done next to nothing. He's seen his old friends maybe once or twice, and really only went outside from time to time to take out trash or help his mom water the plants in the backyard.

Truthfully, nothing about Heeseung has changed. He was still the quiet, introverted guy that liked time alone.

Nothing has changed.... all except one thing.

And it was driving Heeseung nuts.

You.

You were the neighbor girl, and consequently, someone that's shown up in every stage of his life. Your parents quickly became friends, so your families were closely intertwined and spent a considerable amount of time together.

The two of you went to the same high school, middle school, elementary school— heck you even played at the same playground. 

And for some reason, you just loved to torment him. It was never anything serious, but any opportunity you got, you would bother him and just be the most annoying person ever. 

Everyone in his life insisted that you were just the best little angel, but that couldn't be any further from the truth. You were mean and childish and insufferable.

And to make it worse, you always seemed to beat Heeseung at everything. Ever since your elementary school days, you somehow always got a better score than Heeseung, whether it be an assignment on coloring shapes or your AP US History scores. His parents and your parents always reassured him that he was good too, but how was he supposed to feel encouraged when you just beat him at everything?!

And you never failed to let him know it, too. You always had that sly little grin.

You even beat him in getting into his dream university. It's not really your fault technically, because it was your dream university, too. But it's the principle of it!

Heeseung couldn't help but narrow his eyes and clench his fists when he heard his mom talk about how well you're doing at UC Irvine in your prestigious little public health major.

Hate was too strong of a word, but he couldn't say that he liked you at all.

Which was why Heeseung felt his sanity slipping away.

The last thing that he expected when he came back for the summer was for you to get hot. And boy, you were hot.

It was actually infuriating how attractive you got.

Sure, Heeseung's seen you grow up beside him, but in his mind you were always the snotty six year-old that stole his candy. But after an entire year of not seeing you, he couldn't help but gawk at you.

Look, he wasn't actively seeking you out. 

Just, every time that Heeseung was out watering the plants or helping with yard work, you just so happened to peek your head over the garden wall to say hi to his dad. Your face always scrunched up when you caught a glimpse of Heeseung, murmuring a tight-lipped greeting to him too before your head dipped back under the wall.

The first time it happened, Heeseung's jaw nearly dropped. Because since when were you pretty?

The second time that Heeseung saw you was at the local ice cream parlor near the pier. In all the ice cream parlors in Orange County, you just had to go to the same one as him. 

You were wearing a bikini top with denim shorts, sunglasses atop your head. Clearly, you had just been at the beach. You had a group of friends around you (after all, between the two of you, you were the social and popular one), yet Heeseung could only look at you.

There was just something about the way the bikini top hugged your body. Maybe it was the droplets of water running down your chest. Or maybe it was the way you swayed to the faint background music of the parlor, your face looking relaxed and dreamy. Or maybe it was the way he felt so goddamn small next to you, despite having screamed and yelled and fought with you so many times in his childhood.

Since then, it felt like you just popped up everywhere. On days that Heeseung's brother or cousins forced him out of the house, you somehow managed to be where he was. And every single time, he'd just stand there and ogle at you. Even when his brother or cousins would say hi to you and strike up a conversation, Heeseung was always rendered speechless, too busy looking at the way your lips moved to truly register anything.

It almost made him angry. How dare you become hot over the past year? How dare you make him feel so stupid?

In every way possible, you were glowing. 

And it was killing Heeseung.

Heeseung let out a sigh as he sunk down onto his bed. 

It was already 8PM, yet the sky outside was still amidst the sunset. His fan was blasting, and so was his house's AC system— he even opened up his windows— yet it was still too hot.

Jamming his earbuds in his ear, Heeseung picked at the hem of his t-shirt, ignoring the way that the hair on the nape of his neck clung to his skin due to sweat.

Heeseung, even throughout college, called his friends a lot. But now that it was summer, all his friends were busy on vacation or having plans, and didn't have a lot of time to call.

Heeseung listened to the ringtone, tapping his fingers impatiently.

Finally, the ringtone stopped.

"Hey, man," a familiar, deep voice rang in Heeseung's ears. "What's up?"

"Jay!" Heeseung cried.

Jay Park was Heeseung's best friend all throughout his life. Although Jay was a year younger than him, that never was a problem in their friendship. Jay had just graduated high school, and he'd be attending UC San Diego with Heeseung next term. 

Out of everyone at home, Jay was the one person that Heeseung spoke to the most. 

He told him everything, and if he didn't, Jay always managed to get it out of him one way or another.

"What's on your mind?" Jay huffed. He always sounded exasperated, but he meant well. The moment that he graduated, Jay went back to his hometown in Seattle to meet with family. Luckily, Heeseung caught him before he left to congratulate him. Otherwise, Jay's been busy, so Heeseung appreciated him taking the time to talk to him.

Unfortunately, Jay knew Heeseung too well. Of course there was something on his mind— You. But Heeseung would rather die than admit it, even to his closest, most trusted friend. Not only was it embarrassing, but Jay's heard and witnessed it all. Heeseung would never live it down if Jay found out.

"Nothing!" Heeseung said in a sing-songy voice. "I just miss my best friend soooooo much."

Jay was fun to tease.

"Yeah, yeah." Heeseung could practically hear Jay roll his eyes, scowl, and scrunch his nose over the phone, something he did whenever he was embarrassed. "Well, I had a feeling that there was something on your mind. You never spam me with emojis unless you have something serious to talk about."

Heeseung scoffed playfully. Jay really did know him too well. 

"Nope!" Heeseung said, popping the p. 

"Right," Jay responded, and the older could tell that he was suspicious. 

A few moments of comfortable silence fell over the two of them. Sometimes, they didn't know what to say to each other, but being in each other's presence was enough.

"Oh!" Jay suddenly exclaimed, "I just remembered something that I wanted to tell you!"

Heeseung hummed in response. It was probably some crazy gossip about a teacher from their old high school getting arrested.

"But, you need to promise me that you won't tell anyone," the younger boy said, his voice eager and impatient. "Like, you can't tell anyone."

Heeseung hummed again. "Yeah."

"No, like, promise me," Heeseung could hear the fervor in his friend's voice, almost as if he's been holding this information back and was just itching to tell someone. 

"Is it that bad?" Heeseung chuckled. "You're scaring me, man."

"Promise me," Jay repeated.

"Fine," Heeseung huffed, crossing his arms. "I promise I will not tell anyone. Not a single soul."

"Okay, okay," Jay took a deep breath over the phone. Just by the sound of it, Heeseung could tell that he was about to burst if he didn't tell someone now. "So, a few weeks ago— I don't know how it slipped my mind, I was going to tell you the moment I found out— I was in Macro, and do you remember that one girl Natty, or something? The one with the bangs, like, the one that dances, and—"

"On with it!" Heeseung interrupted impatiently.

"Okay, well, Natty asked me if my friend Heedeung Lee was dating anyone, and I was like 'Who is Heedeung Lee?' so I just looked at her like she was crazy and so she never spoke to me about it again until—"

"Hurry up!" Heeseung groaned. Jay talked a lot. "Get to the point, please!"

"I'm getting there!" Jay yelled over the phone. "Well, basically Natty told me that her friend told her that [Name] [Last Name] used to have a massive crush on you."

.

.

.

"Huh?"

You, [Name] [Last Name], had a crush on him? 

On Heeseung Lee?

"I know!" Jay laughed over the phone. "That's crazy, isn't it?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Heeseung's lips moved faster than he could think. He could feel his ears burning, and they stung like hell. "Who told her?"

Jay paused to think. "Natty said that Ryujin Shin told her."

Ryujin Shin was your good friend. She wouldn't lie about something like this. Jay's source was definitely trustworthy.

Heeseung's heart was now pounding in his chest. His palms felt clammy. 

He simply couldn't process it. You? Liked him? It just didn't make sense. And after all the thoughts that he's been having about you, it didn't feel right. Something must be mistaken, right?

"When?" Heeseung blurted, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. "When did she like me?"

"Hmmm," Jay hummed. 

Surely, you liked him in elementary school, right? There was absolutely no way that you liked him any time recently. That's impossible!

"I think she liked you..." Jay trailed off, thinking, "I think she liked you all throughout highschool."

Shit.

"I mean, I think everyone knew. It's not that surprising to me, I'm more surprised that you didn't know all this time. Like, it's so obvious— she was so obvious—"

Heeseung hung up.

"Heeseung?"

Wow, has grass always been that green?

"Heeseung, what are you—"

Heeseung never knew the world could be so beautiful. The sky was so blue and the clouds were so fluffy.

"Hey, Hee—"

What's that bright ball in the sky? Why was it yellow and so warm? Is that what people call the sun—

"Heeseung!"

Heeseung was pulled out of his daze as his older brother shook his shoulders.

It's only been a few days since Jay told the news on Heeseung, but it felt like weeks. Since then, Heeseung has gone outside more times than he ever had. He'd sit in the front yard and feel the grass under his fingertips, reconnecting with nature after such a bomb was dropped on him. Other days he'd dip his toes in his pool, just basking in the sunlight, and sometimes he'd go on walks, taking time to appreciate the world around him.

After all, if Heeseung stayed all cooped up in his room, he didn't know what he would do with himself.

Truthfully, nothing has ever impacted Heeseung as much as the fact that you liked him. Genuinely, Heeseung has never felt more confused, distraught, distressed, and downright afraid in his life.

Because... How could he?

Heeseung wouldn't be completely truthful if he said he didn't think you were attractive before this summer. How could he not? There was a reason that you were popular at school. You've always been cute. It was just your personality that made Heeseung hesitant to admit it.

But to think that you— the you that always went out of your way to get on his nerves in every capacity— had a crush on him? Absolutely insane.

And the craziest part was that your crush was obvious to everyone but him. Heeseung made a point to ask all of his old friends as discreetly as possible. Same answer every time:

"Yeah man, she was soooo in love with you."

You? Obvious? With your crush on him? Absolutely not!

This was not something that Heeseung would have expected in a million years!

And the nail in the coffin was when he asked Ryujin Shin herself.

"Oh yeah, she used to make me pick out her outfits to impress you," was all Ryujin had to say in order to kill Heeseung.

It just didn't make sense! Heeseung genuinely couldn't believe it. Of all the people in the world, you had a crush on him? It's not like no one's ever had a crush on him, but it's literally you!

Every time Heeseung thought about it he felt light-headed.

Currently, Heeseung was standing under a tree, cooling off from the rising weather. He had agreed to go on a walk at the park with his older brother. After all, after everything, he needed to touch grass. 

"You've been spacy lately, Hee," his brother nudged him. Heeseung was grateful that his brother was also back from university for the summer. "Everything okay?"

"Y-Yeah..." Heeseung murmured in response. 

Wow, the dirt felt nice under his shoes. He could feel mosquitoes biting at his ankles, but the hot weather was making him too exhausted to care. He should go outside more often. Maybe he'd be less distracted. And he wouldn't think about you.

Heeseung's brother smacked the back of the younger boy's head. "You sure?"

Heeseung chewed on his bottom lip. His mind was completely fried, blank. He couldn't think.

"Hellooooo? Earth to Heeseung?"

Radio silence.

Yeah, he was cooked.

It took Heeseung an entire week to even be able to think of your name without wanting to pass out.

He didn't completely come to terms with it, but he was at a point that he'd gone over the thought too many times for it to sting anymore. Still, Heeseung couldn't stop thinking about you.

All this time you liked him and he didn't notice. Probably because you tormented him the entire time. Not quite flirting, in his opinion.

What made matters worse, though, was the fact that Heeseung would see you from time to time. It was hard.

On one hand, you were an absolute treat to look at. 

Like, wow.

Anytime he caught a glimpse of you, whether over the fence or through the kitchen window, Heeseung could physically feel his eyes get blessed.

You really were one of the most beautiful people Heeseung had ever had the privilege to lay his eyes on. He choked on his spit every time he saw you, it was insane.

On the other hand...

Ohmygodyouhadacrushonhim.

Seeing you was terrifying.

You were the one person that's always been his sworn rivalry... and this entire time you probably never saw him like that.

It was absolutely horrifying to think about!

Heeseung's cheeks felt warm at the thought. In fact, his entire body felt hot. He wasn't even sweating but his skin begged for a bucket of iced water to be poured on him. Maybe he should hose himself down later.

Maybe it was just the summer heat.

"You want me to what?!"

No, no, no!

"You heard me, young man," Heeseung's mom crossed her arms. Heeseung watched with eyes wide as saucers from his seat at the kitchen island as his mom organized the pantry. How could she be so casual?!

The world was ending. It's over.

"Nooooo," Heeseung cried, burying his face in his arms. "Mom, I can't!"

"Why not?" Mrs. Lee cocked her brows. "It's not like [Name] has a disease or anything."

Heeseung shook his head profusely. "I know, but—"

"Then what's so difficult about going over and saying hi to her? It's been an entire year since you guys have seen each other!"

Heeseung groaned.

And that's how he was forced to walk over to your house next door and say hi. He didn't know why his mom was so insistent, but it's probably because she was good friends with your mom, or something. Him and your families have always been close, so Heeseung was bound to interact with you this summer.

Heeseung dragged his feet as he walked over to your house. He really didn't want to see you.

At first, he thought you hated him, but now apparently you've liked him all this time? And he's also sexually frustrated so now Heeseung was just confused.

And lo and behold, the moment that your house came into view, there you were. 

You were in a swimsuit, sunbathing on your front lawn. You wore your chunky sunglasses that fit you too well, your pretty lips sipping on a fancy glass of coconut water.

Heeseung had to force himself to not gawk.

Goddamn, was all he could think, because goddamn were you fine.

The way the sun shone down on your skin made it hard for him to look away. You were completely relaxed, alone in your own world, yet you managed to still be glowing. Heeseung's mouth felt dry, his heart rate speeding up at the sight of you sprawled out on the lawn like that.

Heeseung's feet took him further than his mind could, too busy gaping at you. He stopped at the front of your house, just enough for you to notice him.

"Oi!" you yelled from your lawn, perching yourself up on your elbows in a way that made you even more attractive. "The fuck do you want, Lee?!"

Heeseung had to shake out of his daze. 

"H-Hey," he stuttered out, an awkward hand coming up to wave at you. Heeseung winced in his head, feeling embarrassment wash over him as you took off you looked over your sunglasses, shooting him a questioning look. 

He'd never been like this with you. Ever. The only memories that Heeseung had with you were just the two of you bickering. Never any shyness or awkwardness. So why was he so nervous now?

"Ummmm," you said. Heeseung recognized that tone: it was the tone that you used when you wanted to obnoxiously pretend to be confused to embarrass him. Usually, it would just annoy him, but this time Heeseung was actually embarrassed. "Hi?"

Heeseung could feel your judgy gaze under your sunglasses. You were definitely staring him down. Whether with love or with hate, he didn't know. But it scared the fuck out of him.

"Well, I'mgonnagonowbye!" Heeseung spouted before running off.

(Heeseung could tell that you were watching him as he struggled to get his front door open. In fact, he had to knock multiple times and yell for someone to let him in, because he was actually locked out. And the moment that he was let in, Heeseung ran up to his room, and slammed the door. Never again.)

Although you thought it would be 10x funnier if you didn't, you did in fact think Heeseung Lee was cute. Of course you did. Especially after a year of not seeing him, you couldn’t deny that he’d really grown into a man. He definitely got taller, and his voice sounded deeper too. The way the muscles on his biceps and forearms flexed when he did yard work gave you more of a reason to peek over the garden wall to say hi.

You thought your dumb little childhood crush on Heeseung had subsided by now. You felt a little bad for a while, for always being mean to him— but you just like him so much! 

When you went away for school, you were sure you’d forget all about it. After all, you had a feeling that your feelings for him were out of convenience: he was just a guy that you were close in proximity to. Plus, it was so obvious, too. He definitely knew all throughout high school and middle school how much you liked him. It would hurt your pride to go back to him.

But now that he’s back (and so are you!) you’re having second thoughts.

Sure, he was cute. 

Would you kiss him? Sure. 

Would you date him? The answer to that would be kept a secret. 

For now, you were just going to have fun with it. Whatever happened was not up to you anyway. 

Though, you’d be lying if you said that you never tried to impress him, especially now.

You told yourself it was in a condescending way. 

In a "look how hot I am" way. 

In an untouchable way.

Because you knew that he’d be looking anyway. He always did, even if he didn’t mean to.

And you knew for sure now, as you put on your fitted bikini top that he’d definitely be looking.

Lucky you, your siblings and cousins were close to Heeseung’s brother and cousins. When you were younger, everyone would gather in Heeseung’s backyard for a pool party. 

And now that it was summer, it was no surprise that there was a pool party at the Lee house today.

So here you were, in Heeseung’s backyard, dipping your toes in his pool. 

The Southern California weather was not doing anyone justice. The blue sky was clear, with no cloud in sight. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on anyone who dared to be in its presence. 

The air smelled of Mrs. Lee's lemon tree, sunscreen, chlorine water, and barbecue. Loud music boomed throughout the Lees' backyard, coupled with shouting, laughing, and the sizzle of the grill.

Everyone was here— Heeseung’s brother, his cousins, and all of your siblings and cousins— except the boy himself. 

He’s probably inside cooped up in his room, you thought with an eye roll. He always was. Whenever there was a pool party like this, he always came down the latest, after getting an earful from his mom about being a party pooper. 

You’d always hoped that he’d come down. After all, he was the only one your age, and you wanted to show off how cute you looked. 

That’s something that never changed. 

You pushed up your sunglasses, watching as the boys that you grew up with tackled each other in the water and screamed bloody murder. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

At pool parties like this, you usually found yourself sitting near the shallow side of the pool, dipping your feet in and just enjoying everyone's presence. 

Frankly, you weren't a fan of the water.

You were too busy splashing your cousins with water and laughing at how stupid they looked with their hair all wet and swooped around to notice the sound of a very familiar boy being dragged downstairs.

"Dude— Let go— Ack!" Heeseung's voice boomed all the way from behind the screen door. "Let go— Ow!"

You turned over your shoulder to see Heeseung himself standing at the entrance to the backyard, pouting like a child with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing swim trunks, but wore an oversized t-shirt over it.

Still, he looked as good as ever.

His tan skin, disheveled hair, and overall awkward and loserish look— you loved it too much.

You watched curiously as he stood there awkwardly while everyone else played in the water. 

You sighed. Some things never change.

You pulled your feet out of the pool, before walking with wet feet over to the cooler next to the grill to grab two Caprisuns. Then, you trudged over to where Heeseung was standing.

"Look who decided to finally go outside," you said with a deadpan tone. Usually, Heeseung would glare at you, maybe scoff and look away. But this time, his eyes just shakily shifted to your face. Weird.

You could see his eyes widen a fraction, before they traveled down to your bikini top. You had to hold back a smug grin— Good, he was looking.

You shoved one of the Caprisuns into his hand, while stabbing your own with the straw. 

He still stared at you, as if you were some kind of unicorn.

"Why do you keep staring?" you asked bluntly, quirking your brow at him. It was weird. Where was the annoyed Heeseung that fought back whenever you bothered him?

The boy tensed up, his eyes widening into saucers before he turned away from you altogether. 

Was he... sick?

You looked at him questioningly. Heeseung stood completely still, his back turned to you, gripping onto his Caprisun for dear life.

You sighed. You nudged him with your elbow. 

"I thought a school like UCSD would make you at least a little bit cooler," you began your way back to the pool, but stopped. You looked over your shoulder at him. "Still a loser."

And with that, you left him standing there.

Heeseung swore that he's not a loser.

Well, maybe he was just a little bit of a loser, but not that much. You called him a loser all the time, and it never really got to him. After all, you were cooler than anyone Heeseung knew, so your standard of coolness was off the charts.

Though, it did bother him a little bit this time. And for the life of him, Heeseung couldn't figure out why.

Eventually, he trudged over to the pool and dipped his feet in beside you. Though, he made sure to keep a big distance between the two of you. 

Heeseung didn't know what he would do if he was any closer to you. And plus, you'd probably start screaming anyway.

In fourth grade, he pushed you into the pool as a joke, without knowing that you didn't know how to swim. Since then, you made it a point to scream whenever Heeseung was near you at the pool, always claiming that he'd pose a danger to you, or something like that.

The music was nice, and so was the feeling of the sun on his skin. Heeseung just felt a little bit out of place, but he wasn't unhappy to be there.

Heeseung was lost in thought, a habit that he's had since he was younger— so lost that he didn't hear the splashing of the pool, so lost didn't hear his brother ask you why you weren't swimming, so lost that he didn't hear his cousins threaten to push you in if you didn't get in yourself.

But the moment that Heeseung heard your shrill scream, he was up on his feet.

In a few quick seconds, Heeseung's brother had hauled you up over his shoulder, ignoring the way that you wriggled in his touch, and threw you into the pool. 

It all happened so quickly before Heeseung's eyes, yet it felt like time slowed down.

As the water splashed in what felt like slow-motion, Heeseung watched as your eyes widened into large saucers, a loud shriek ripping from your throat. His breath hitched. Other than those sounds, he couldn't hear anything else: not everyone laughing, not the music, not the grilling, just you and him and the water.

Heeseung's lips moved faster than him.

"You idiot!" he shouted, and although his entire body felt like it was frozen in time, he was already halfway through throwing his t-shirt off. Heeseung tuned out the sound of more laughter. He could feel his blood boil. "She can't swim!"

With no hesitation, Heeseung dove into the pool, ignoring the cold sensation that sent goosebumps down his spine as the water engulfed him. 

There were some things that cannot be forgotten, and something that Heeseung knew he'd never forget was the way you wrapped your arms around him the moment that you felt his presence. Your once tense body relaxed immediately. You clung onto him, your eyes squeezed shut as stray tears spilled out. He could hear the raggedness of your breath, and just by your face, Heeseung couldn't even imagine the panic and fear that you'd felt. 

"Heeseung," you whimpered, grasping the boy as if you would die. You sniffled, pressing your face into his neck as your arms tightened around his torso. "Hee—"

Heeseung could feel chlorine water droplets slipping into his eyes, burning them. Yet, he didn't remove his hands from around you, not even once. As he stabilized the two of you in the water, he squeezed your shoulders comfortingly.

"You're safe," he said against your ear, "I got you."

The last thing you expected to happen was to be sitting on Heeseung Lee's bed.

He still had his shelf full of comic books and figurines. Except, the last time you really took a look at the shelf was when you were 13, and now six years later it was completely filled to the brim. The walls were still covered in superhero posters. In the corner of his room, there used to be a tiny little ukelele from when he was just learning how to play, but now it was replaced with a guitar.

You shivered, pulling your knees to your chest as you sniffled, holding the towel draped over your shoulders tightly. Your skin felt cold to the touch, but on the inside, you felt like you were burning up. Hot tears lined your eyes, threatening to stream out.

After that fiasco, Heeseung took you upstairs to his room. He left you a few moments ago to find you clean clothes.

You were angry. Why did they throw you in the pool? You thought it was common knowledge that you couldn't swim. You grew up with these people! How did Heeseung Lee remember and not anyone else? How annoying.

"Uh," Heeseung cracked his bedroom door open, poking his head in. You cocked a brow at him, especially when you noticed that he came back empty handed. "Just— Give me a second."

You watched as he went to his own drawers, taking out his own clothes.

"I— There's no girls living in his house," he said sheepishly as he handed you his clothes, unable to hide his red ears. "I couldn't find you— uh— girl clothes, so just— just take mine."

You just frowned.

Although you didn't do any swimming yourself, being thrown into a pool and drowning for a few moments was physically taxing enough. You didn't feel like moving right now, even if it was something as easy as changing clothes. You just put the clothes beside you on the bed, muttering a quiet thanks before pulling your knees even closer to your chest.

Heeseung stared at you. It was uncharacteristic to see you so... small. Someone so bothersome and mean to him, yet here you were curled up like you didn't want to be seen.

Heeseung would never admit it, but he felt bad for you at that moment.

Heeseung sighed.

He took a few more steps forward, standing in front of the bed.

"Scoot over," he said, motioning with his hands.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes. Your lips jutted out for a few seconds into a pout, but you huffed and nodded. Heeseung plopped down beside you, letting out another sigh. 

The two of you sat in silence like that for a few moments, both staring at the floor. In the distance you could still hear water splashing and music from the backyard.

"Thanks, by the way" you murmured, breaking the silence. You kept your eyes down.

"Huh?" Heeseung whipped his head over to you.

"I said thanks," you repeated yourself, this time louder and with annoyance. "You loser."

"Oh." Heeseung blinked. "Sorry."

It was silent again, before you clicked your tongue. You nudge Heeseung with your foot. 

"Why are you apologizing?" you sounded irritated, but Heeseung knew that that was just your natural tone when you weren't trying to be nice all the time. 

"I dunno," the boy shrugged. "I guess for being a loser."

You sighed loudly, your brows furrowing as you nudged him again. 

"You're taking me too seriously," you rubbed your temples. "I mean, you are a loser, but I don't really give a fuck if you are."

Heeseung blinked. "Huh?"

You groaned. "You're so dense. My point is, you have nothing to apologize for, including for being thick in the head and a loser."

.

.

.

"As a matter of fact," you grumbled. "I'm grateful for you. I'd be six feet under if it wasn't for you."

.

.

.

You finally turned to look at Heeseung. Your hand came up to flick his forehead.

"Ow!" Heeseung cried, his hand shooting up for his head. "What was that for— Ack!"

You grabbed a pillow and smacked him square in the head.

"What the hell?!" Heeseung yelled. He reached across you to grab one of his pillows, launching it at you, hitting you in the face.

But instead of fighting back like Heeseung expected, you threw your head back, falling back onto the bed. You were laughing.

"What are you—" Heeseung scrunched his face, before he grabbed another pillow and smacked you again. "What are you laughing at?"

You didn't respond, only continuing to laugh. Heeseung watched as you clutched your stomach, your eyes squeezing together as your lips parted, airy giggles pouring out.

His ears burned. Did he say something funny?

Had Heeseung ever seen you laugh so... light-heartedly? It seemed like the only times you'd laugh was when you were making fun of him. But here you were, laughing like he'd just said the funniest thing.

"Sorry," you said when you finally calmed down. You relaxed into his pillows, letting out a soft ah. You wiped your eyes, which had tears coming out from how hard you laughed. "It's just..." you glanced at him, "You were scaring me."

"Why?" Heeseung's brows furrowed. 

"You were, like, being so awkward," you said coolly. "I mean, you're always awkward, but you were being awkward in a weird, shy way. You weren't fighting back like you usually did."

You flashed him a cheeky grin. "But you seem to be back to normal now."

Heeseung stared at your face. 

Well, even if you were super hot now, and even if you had a crush on him, nothing would change the fact that the two of you were (no matter how much you didn't want to admit it) childhood friends. Heeseung wouldn't want anything to come between that. Even his own awkwardness. There was no use being weird about anything.

Maybe this summer was for the two of you to finally connect, rather than push each other away.

"Ew," you kicked Heeseung, "Stop staring, you freak."

Heeseung rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Go change."

Truthfully, it was impossible to be awkward like this around you. Heeseung was awkward with everyone, including his own mother sometimes, but not you.

(By the end of the pool party, you and Heeseung had spent most of the time up in his room, which wasn't uncommon throughout your childhood. Though, the difference now was that you and him weren't arguing.)

Normally, on summer mornings, Heeseung slept until noon. But his slumber this morning was rudely interrupted by the sound of someone banging on his door.

"What the fuck?" Heeseung cursed under his breath as he trudged downstairs, still shirtless and groggy in his Minecraft pajama pants. He'd curse at his brother for not answering the door, but Heeseung remembered that everyone else in his family had a life that didn't include being home all day, unlike him. 

Heeseung hastily opened the front door, ready to yell at whoever was disrupting him at this time. It was probably one of those solicitors trying to sell him something, or some kid that accidentally threw a ball into his yard.

But when he opened the door...

"Hi, loser."

Heeseung slammed the door.

What the hell were you doing at his house at this time?! Granted, it was almost 11AM, but still!

"What the fuck?!" you began banging again, "Open up!"

"No!" Heeseung yelled from the other side of the door. "What are you doing here?!"

"Well, open up and I'll tell you!"

After this back and forth for a few minutes, Heeseung finally agreed on letting you in.

"Rude," you muttered, crossing your arms. "Didn't your mother teach you to not slam the door on people's faces?"

Heeseung grabbed the door, beginning to close it again. You jammed your foot inside. "Not so fast, little boy."

Heeseung rolled his eyes. "Explain."

You huffed. "I'm bored. Can we hang out?"

.

.

.

"What? Why?"

You pushed past the boy, stepping inside his house and making your way to the kitchen.

"I already said," you said coolly. "I'm bored."

Heeseung trailed after you. "It's too early!"

You shrugged, making a bee-line for the fridge, looking through it. Heeseung sighed. There was no reckoning with you. He took a seat at the kitchen island, letting out an annoyed groan.

You looked over your shoulder, quirking your brow at him. 

"Nice pajamas, by the way."

It was now that Heeseung realized that he was half naked with messy hair and his embarrassing Minecraft PJ pants.

His ears burned.

"I thought you were done with Minecraft," Heeseung could hear the teasing tone in your voice as a sly grin spread across your lips. "I guess some things just never change."

"Shut— Shut up!" And he scurried upstairs to freshen up and change. You chuckled.

Apparently, your definition of "hanging out" was gossiping in your car while devouring frozen yogurt.

"Why are you so surprised?" you asked, while indiscreetly stealing a strawberry from Heeseung's frozen yogurt.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I just thought you'd have more extravagant plans for what a 'hang out' is."

You scoffed. "Like what?"

"I don't know!" Heeseung shook his head. "Maybe, like, going to the beach? Or going to the movies? What do cool people do these days?"

"Why would you think that?" you almost looked offended. 

"You were popular in high school, weren't you?" Heeseung reasoned. "I assumed that your hangouts were cool because everyone wanted to be there."

You scowled. "Okay, well, getting frozen yogurt is cool. I don't know what you're talking about." Heeseung shrugged again. "And plus, I chose this activity because I knew you wouldn't like the beach or movies."

Heeseung blinked. Did you really do that for him?

"Why are you looking at me like I killed someone?" you rolled your eyes. "Why would I hang out with you and only do stuff that I'd enjoy? It's not fun when the other person isn't having fun, you know."

"I—I know," Heeseung stammered. The corner of his lips lifted a little bit. "I just can't believe you have feelings."

An offended sound came out of your lips. You slapped his shoulder, once, twice, three times, ignoring his yelps.

"I'm sorryyyyy!" Heeseung cried, squirming away from you. "Ack! What is your problem, dude— Ow! I said I'm sorry!"

"Take that back, you freak!"

"I did...!"

Heeseung never thought that he'd wake up on some mornings and see you in his kitchen, scouring his pantry and fridge for food. 

At first, Heeseung found himself panicking every time he inevitably trekked downstairs, all groggy and shirtless, at noon and you were there munching on cereal.

"Why— What are you—" Heeseung would stare at you horrified, immediately feeling shy because he was shirtless. How could you be so... so casual?! "How did you even get in?!"

You'd just shrug nonchalantly, ignoring Heeseung's spluttering. 

"I asked your mom for an extra key," you had pulled out of your pocket. "See?"

And ever since then, it wasn't common for Heeseung to hear the front door cracking open, followed by the sound of rustling in the kitchen and living room.

Initially, Heeseung made a point to freshen up before clambering down to give you an earful for turning the TV's volume too high. He made sure to throw on a shirt, maybe brush his hair and teeth and wash his face. 

But the moment that Heeseung no longer relied on his biological clock and his alarm clock to wake him up because the ruckus that you'd make in his kitchen was loud enough to shake him out of his slumber, he realized that there was really no escaping you.

"Turn it down, will you?!" Heeseung would shout from upstairs, barely awake. You'd groan, but you'd comply. After all, it was his house that you were raiding.

It was weird. Heeseung never thought that he'd become comfortable with you like this, and in such a short amount of time. There was a level of friendship between the two of you no matter what. You'd grown up together, that was undeniable.

But Heeseung had always expected you and him to actually become friends through other means. He'd always thought that something bigger, more dramatic, would happen, something that would force the two of you to finally get along.

But all it took was for you to be bored one day and go to his house.

Had he been misinterpreting everything? All this time, Heeseung always thought that there was a wall around you, something that he couldn't break down. Yet here he was now, minding his own business while you ate at his kitchen island.

It made him think, was it college and summertime that made the two of you like this? Or has it always been like this, and he never noticed it?

It made him think back to his childhood.

He had so many distinct memories of you.

You pushing him down the slide, you calling him stupid, you pulling his hair when you were bored.

But there were also other memories, ones that Heeseung had to think hard about, ones that made him question whether or not his memory was playing tricks on him.

He could remember you following him upstairs after one of your families' dinners when you guys were six years-old. 

If there was something six year-old Heeseung and you could agree on, it was that the adults' conversations at dinner were too boring and convoluted to follow. 

Heeseung faintly remembered the way you paused briefly in front of the shelf in the corner of his room. It was the shelf that he displayed his comic books and superhero figurines on, a collection that he'd spent all of his allowance money on. 

Heeseung had ignored you as you messed around with his stuffed animals, opting to read his comic books in silence. You had crawled up beside him, your squeaky voice pulling Heeseung's head out of the pages.

"What's that?" you had asked him.

Heeseung's teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He remembered what happened after you asked that clearly.

"A comic book," young Heeseung had said annoyedly, shooting you a glare. "Duh."

Heeseung could distinctly remember how he felt at that moment. Embarrassment. His brother, his brother's friends, and Heeseung's own friends liked to tease him for his nerdy interests.

Six year-old you didn't take the hint, only further poking and prying him. Your fingers plucked one of the pages, curiously looking at the screen-toned pages and text bubbles. "What's it about?"

Heeseung had snatched the comic book from you, so hard that the page you were gripping ripped. His memory was fuzzy here, but from what he could recall, Heeseung got angry and yelled at you. He had pushed you, making you bump into his figurine shelf. One of his bigger and sharper figurines managed to knock over, falling and hitting your square in the face.

It was nothing serious, just a scratch, but you were crying by the end of it.

As an adult, Heeseung cringed at the memory.

Poor, awkward six year-old Heeseung, who thought you were making fun of him when really you were just interested.

And after that, you never asked him about his superhero comics again.

As Heeseung now peered at you scrolling through movies to watch, he couldn't help but notice how you hovered over all the superhero movies, before moving past them. He wondered how different things would have been if he didn't yell at you that day. In fact, he wondered how different things would have been if he didn't yell at you at all.

Because now that Heeseung thought about it, all of his memories of you annoying him were really just you wanting to talk to him. When you slapped his shoulder and called him stupid, it wasn't you trying to be mean to him. You were just like that.

Had he taken everything wrong all this time?

First, it started with you eating in his kitchen everyday.

The next thing Heeseung knew, you were forcing him to go outside everyday, one way or another. This must be the most sunlight that Heeseung has ever had in his entire life.

On some days, you wanted to go on walks around the neighborhood.

"Do you remember that house?" you asked him once, pointing to the house at the end of the block. 

Heeseung's lips lifted. "Of course I do. How could I forget?"

You chuckled. "Hell-bound dogs, right?"

Heeseung could remember the day. When you and him were ten years-old, you went trick-or-treating down the neighborhood. The house at the end of the block was new to the neighborhood, so the two of you kids had no clue what your new neighbor was like.

Big mistake. That year, Heeseung was dressed as a demon with a plastic demonic mask, while you were a witch.

The two of you had no idea that your neighbor would be so... afraid... of two children dressed as a demon and as a witch. 

As fast as you rang that doorbell, chanting trick or treat!, the two of you were sent running back home at full speed, with a shouting neighbor threatening to call the police on you "hell-bound dogs." And that's how that neighbor earned the name Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs.

Poor you.

"Do you think she's still alive?" you grinned cheekily, nudging the boy.

"Who?"

"You know..." you drawled your syllables, "Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs."

Heeseung scoffed. "Of course she is!"

"But it's been nine years!" you shrugged. "You don't know what happens in nine years."

"She wasn't that old," Heeseung reasoned. You sent him a look. The both of you collectively recalled that neighbor being a hag. "Okay, maybe we were just young, so everyone looked old to us."

You hummed. "You're right."

As the two of you approached that house, preparing to pass it, you were engulfed with silence. The neighborhood that you grew up in held so many memories. 

You and Heeseung had spent the entire walk pointing to various houses and obscure things in the neighborhood, recalling old stories of memories of the shenanigans that the two of you would have with them. Heeseung couldn't remember the last time he laughed like this. It wasn't the type of laugh that made him fall to his knees and well up tears in his eyes.

It was more like a laugh that felt mixed with a sob. In a weird way. Each laugh that tumbled from his lips felt so foreign, yet so familiar. 

The type of laugh that could only be elicited by an old friend.

And it was then that Heeseung realized that that's what you were to him. An old friend.

"I dare you to knock on Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs," you said suddenly. You loved to do this, even when you were a kid.

"No," Heeseung shook his head, hiding a chuckle. "I am not doing that."

"C'mon," you nudged him again. "It'll be fun."

Heeseung narrowed his eyes.

"And we'll get to know if she's still alive."

Heeseung looked at Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs' door.

He was curious.

And besides, it would be payback for chasing you two out all those years ago.

Heeseung sighed.

"Fine."

It couldn't be that bad, right? Heeseung and you were older now. You wouldn't be afraid of some old lady. Right?

Wrong.

Because the next thing Heeseung knew, you were carrying him princess style, running as fast as you could down the street. The both of you were cursing at the top of your lungs, shrieking for your dear lives. Heeseung's large body awkwardly draped into your arms, his arms clumsily around your neck, but the two of you were too scared shitless to care.

The moment that you reached the comforts of the Lee house, Heeseung and you caught your breath, keeling over.

After a few moments of just breathing, the two of you made eye-contact. 

At first, you just stared at each other, wondering what the fuck just happened.

But then a smile began to spread on your lips, then on Heeseung's lips, and suddenly the two of you were laughing. Laughing so hard that your stomachs hurt.

"She's way scarier than I remember!" you cried, clutching your stomach as you gripped Heeseung's shoulder for stability. 

"I— I know!" Heeseung laughed. He wiped away his tears, shoving his face in his hands. "I can't believe we just did that!"

And the second thing that Heeseung realized that day was that you, too, were a loser. 

"What’s got you smiling at your phone, Hee?" Heeseung’s dad asked him in the car one afternoon. The Lees had a short weekend getaway, and they were now on their way back. It was no denying that Heeseung had been on his phone much more than he usually was.

"Yeah," his brother nodded in agreement. "You've been texting a lot these days."

Heeseung's mother gasped. "You didn't get a girlfriend, did you?"

The whole car erupted, the tires of the Lee car skrrting against the wheels abruptly. His dad and brother whooped, while his mother excitedly squealed.

..... Except Heeseung heard none of this.

Because he had his earphones jammed in his ears, completely absent as he stared at the window.

The offense?

Heeseung was busy blasting your summer playlist.

Look, it wasn't because he liked you or anything. It was just that your summer playlist had all the songs that he liked! Maybe except a few...

The other day when Heeseung found himself in the passenger seat of your car chowing down on fast food, the two of you talked about music. Surprisingly, you had a lot in common in terms of music taste.

You guys ended up riding along the coastal highway late into the night, just sharing songs.

Heeseung remembered how the traffic lights reflected off your face, illuminating your pretty eyes. You chuckled at a few songs that came up.

"You know," you had smiled, but your brows furrowed, "Kai sent me this song when we were dating Sophomore Year."

And when another song came up, you furrowed your brows again. "I think EJ sent me this one when we were dating."

And again. "Oh! When I was dating..."

And for some reason, Heeseung couldn't bring himself to listen to any of the songs that your high school exes sent you. It could've been his favorite song, but for some reason, any association with your past lovers made Heeseung feel sick.

Heeseung couldn't figure out why he was so bothered. There were songs that he swore he could never hate, but it left such a bitter taste in his mouth that another man sent you songs.

Now, Heeseung's nose curled as he glanced at the song now playing.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys. Everyone knew this song, so it shouldn't be a surprise that one of your exes sent you this. But still. Heeseung felt uneasy listening to it. He couldn't figure out why. It was such a weird feeling. His heart felt like it was throbbing in his chest, tightening at the thought of it.

By now, Heeseung was certain that Jay's earlier report about you having a crush on him was outdated. It's been a while since Heeseung's thought about it, and while it still made him burn up, he was convinced that even if you did like him, that was the past. There was no use in dwelling on it anymore.

His finger hovered over the skip button for a few moments, taking in the sound of the rough bass. 

Heeseung didn't know why he felt a sense of disappointment. Disappointed that you probably didn't like him like that anymore. 

Skip.

Sooo... you're not very successful at forgetting your mini crush on Heeseung. You swore that you could, especially because you thought you'd grown up.

But now as you watch the way Heeseung's big hands wrapped around the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road while your collaborative playlist plays on repeat, you're finding it difficult to pull your eyes away from him.

He was just so... loserish. He was so awkward, and clumsy, and embarrassing, yet somehow every time you saw his grimace after he tripped over his feet yet again, it made you feel so warm.

One of your old highschool friends was throwing a party at her beach house, and you were invited. You didn't want to go alone, so you begged Heeseung to go with you. And after some hefty convincing, he finally agreed.

The two of you (mostly you) had spent the entire afternoon getting ready.

You made sure to put on your tiniest dress and tallest heels, glittery makeup across your face and curly lashes lining your eyes. 

As you fixed your lipgloss in Heeseung's rearview mirror, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye.

You had to sit Heeseung down and give him a lesson in fashion. He was really about to go to a party in a hoodie. His entire closet consisted of baggy t-shirts and hoodies, and while they looked damn good on him, he needed proper party attire.

You searched through his entire closet, and lo and behold, you found the compression shirt that Heeseung borrowed from his brother and never returned. 

You couldn't stop looking at the veins on his forearms, or the biceps on his arms that flexed everytime he gripped the steering wheel. You knew Heeseung worked out, but seeing his toned arms in the flesh made your cheeks feel warm.

Under his big doe eyes, pouty lips, and disheveled hair was a man.

It was hard to fully conceptualize sometimes— that you were no longer the squeaky teenage girl head over heels for your nerdy childhood friend. Instead, you were a woman, and so was he.

Heeseung's eyes fluttered over to you, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip as the two of you pulled up to the house.

"I don't think I know anybody here," Heeseung sighed, wringing his fingers nervously. As the two of you got out of his car and approached the door, he groaned, "It's gonna be so awkward."

"Relax," you grinned at him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "Just stick beside me the entire time."

He chewed on his bottom lip. He was uneasy. You sighed, linking your fingers with his. His eyes widened into saucers, but you ignored it. You gave his hand a squeeze. 

"You're gonna be fine," you reassured, before dragging him into the party, hand-in-hand.

The moment that you stepped inside the beach house, you could feel Heeseung tense up, squeezing your hand. 

You couldn't blame him, for the bright strobe lights, booming music, and smell of sweat, alcohol, and drugs hit your senses immediately.

"Just follow me," you whispered to him. You shot him another smile. "C'mon. Let's get some drinks."

And despite what everyone liked to think, you were a law-abiding citizen. You were not about to get wasted, and you were under the drinking age anyway. You got yourself orange juice and Heeseung apple juice (something that you knew he'd like because you used to argue about it).

You found it a bit entertaining as you went around the house, saying hi to all of your old classmates and friends, while Heeseung followed you like a lost puppy. You had him hold you by the shoulders, finding it awfully endearing every time he squeezed them.

"I thought you hated her," he whispered into your ear after you just greeted someone, striking up an animated conversation with her. 

"I do," you chuckled. Of course Heeseung would remember. "She's why me and Taehyun broke up."

You heard Heeseung's breath hitch, a gasp in his throat. "Really? That's fucked."

You chuckled again. So cute. "I know."

Every time you encountered someone that Heeseung personally disliked, you could feel him gripping your shoulders. It was cute. 

"Is that Heeseung Lee?!" a squeaky voice suddenly filled you and Heeseung's ears. And the next thing you knew, Heeseung was being crowded around by a group of girls, leading him to be whisked away from you. You couldn't remember any of their names, but you definitely remembered who they were.

When you said that Heeseung was a loser, you meant it in an endearing, mean-but-not-really way. 

These girls were actual bullies in high school, and for a time, they'd bully Heeseung. If it weren't for you scaring them off everytime, Heeseung might be dead.

But there they were, crowding around and cooing at Heeseung, touching his arms and batting their eyelashes at them as if they didn't bully the shit out of him. 

"I didn't know you got so hot, Hee!"

"If I knew you'd be so strong, I would've fucked you in high school."

"What're you doing after this, Heeseung?"

You could sense Heeseung's discomfort. From the way that he recoiled from each touch, to the way his wide eyes occasionally met yours, to the way that his lips curled.

And it made your blood boil.

Not only were these the people that went out of their way to hurt him, here they were acting like Heeseung would forget just because they thought he was hot. Blatantly disrespectful.

Help me, his eyes read. And of course you did.

You marched over to where they were, creeping up behind Heeseung and grabbing his shoulder and yanking him backward away from the hoard. 

"Get behind me," you whispered to him, and Heeseung immediately complied. 

"Hi, guys!" you greeted with a tight-lipped smile. You could feel Heeseung's fingers playing with the lacing at the back of your dress, something he did when he was nervous.

"[Name]!" the girls exclaimed, but you could tell that they were unhappy with your presence. "We were just talking to ourHee."

"Oh!" You faked excitement, flashing them another smile. You narrowed your eyes at them, before reaching behind you to grab Heeseung's wrist. "Well, me and Heeseung were about to leave just now."

"Aww!" one of them whined, yet she still managed to bat her eyelashes at Heeseung, who shifted uncomfortably. 

"C'mon, [Name]!" another crossed her arms. You could tell that her tone was playful, but you knew better. "You got all the hot guys during high school. Let us have this one, won't you?"

You feigned a giggle. 

"No, sorry girl," you said in a chirpy tone. You didn't want to seem hostile. "This one's mine."

The girls blinked at you. "Yours?"

"Mhm!" you smiled again. You squeezed Heeseung's hand in yours, bringing it up to show them your interlocked fingers. "Right, Babe?"

Heeseung stared at you for a few moments, before nodding his head quickly, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. "O-Of course, baby."

You craned your neck up to gently press a kiss on his neck, ignoring his surprised yelp, before you turned back to the girls. "We'll be leaving now. It was nice seeing you!"

And with that, you pushed through the crowd of people, making a bee-line for the door and taking Heeseung with you.

The walk back to Heeseung’s car was silent. When the two of you got inside, it was still silent. Heeseung didn't start the engine or the music. He just sat there quietly.

"I'm sorry," he finally blurted.

"Huh?" you cocked your head. "What are you sorry about?"

"I feel like I ruined the night," Heeseung murmured, a large frown on his lips.

"What?!" you furrowed your brows, reaching out to touch his arm. "No, no, no! You didn't ruin anything."

He continued to frown. The car shook just from how loud the music was, and you could feel the bass in your chest. 

"And you had to kiss me!" he continued, shoving his face into his hands.

You furrowed your brow. Did he not like it? Was he disgusted with you?

"You shouldn't have!" Heeseung continued rambling on, using his hands. Poor boy sniffled, and it was then that you noticed the way his doe eyes welled with tears. From the way he blinked quickly while turning away from you so that you couldn't see his face told you everything. "Now everyone is going to think that you're dating me!"

You were a little hurt. "Why is that a bad thing?"

"It's a bad thing for you," Heeseung muttered into his palms, sniffling quietly. "I'm a loser, [Name]. And you're not. What if everyone starts seeing you differently?"

Your hand ghosted over his shoulder. "Why should anyone's opinion matter to me?"

"Because!" Heeseung whipped his head over to you. With the sun setting, orange light reflected off his cheeks and red nose, as well as his glassy eyes. 

"Because....." he sighed, before stopping. "What, you don't regret it?"

You crossed your arms. 

"The only reason I'd regret kissing you is if you felt uncomfortable." You met his eyes. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Heeseung stared at you for a few times, before he whipped his head away again. But this time, it wasn't out of shame or remorse. You could tell by his shaky voice, pink ears, and rigid body language that he was embarrassed more than anything.

"No..." he mumbled. "The k-kiss... didn't make me uncomfortable. I actually kind of— Never mind."

If you hadn't known him all your life, you wouldn't have been able to tell that Heeseung was flustered. Flustered beyond reason. If you asked him a question about superhero comics, a topic that he knew front and back, he still wouldn't be able to give a coherent answer. That was how flustered he was.

How cute.

"Hmm?" you hummed, the corners of your lips raising. "Complete that thought."

Heeseung groaned something that you couldn't understand, shoving his face back into his palms. You chuckled as you pulled him away from his hands, gently clutching his jaw and forcing him to look at you.

"I wanna know what you were going to say, Heeseung," you rasped, unable to hide the slyness in your voice.

He let out an embarrassed squeak. Even if it weren't for the orange sunlight, you would still be able to tell how red Heeseung got. The warmth emitting from his face was so strong that you could feel it. Poor boy couldn't even look you in the eye.

So cute.

"I-I..."

You hummed. "Go on."

"I was just going to say..." Heeseung squeezes his eyes shut, something he did when he was so embarrassed that he'd explode. "I l-liked the kiss."

.

.

.

You opened your mouth to speak, but he continued to ramble on. "I-I mean I didn't mind it that much. Itwasjustnicewhenitcamefromyouanditmademefeelreallywarmandmushyand—"

"Let's get out of here, Heeseung," you interrupted him with a reassuring smile. "We can go somewhere else."

"L-Like where?"

You grinned.

Where it all began.

"The playground?"

Heeseung gaped as you pulled him out of the car. He let you drive this time, fully expecting to go somewhere like the pier or the end of some road where it was quiet. Not the playground.

"Yessir."

The playground near your neighborhood was nothing special. It had a spiral slide, swings, rock-climbing, telephone, a basketball court, hopscotch, and then some. It looked much smaller than you and Heeseung remembered.

This was where it all started, where you and Heeseung met as young children.

Things have changed since then. The swing set has been remodeled, the sandbox removed, and the railing have been repainted with a different color from your childhood.

"C'mon," you tugged on Heeseung's arm.

Heeseung stared at you. By now the sky was beginning to turn blue and the streetlamps were on. Even so, you still managed to glow. All his life, you glowed. You glowed so bright that you outshined him, so bright that you attracted everyone like a moth to a flame, and he never understood why.

But now he did.

The mischievous glint in your eyes, the grin spread across your face, and the way you called out to him to go play— it was like nothing changed. You were still you, still the cheeky little shithead that you always were. And he loved it. He loved you. Maybe he always had.

Some things really never changed. 

"Heeseung, push meeeeeee!" you shouted from across the playground. As a kid, Heeseung loved to collect rocks. As a grown-up he thought it was ridiculous, but now Heeseung couldn't resist the call of the rocks. 

Meanwhile, you were on the swings.

"You still don't know how to do it yourself?!" Heeseung yelled back. 

"I doooon't!"

Heeseung sighed, shoving the rocks that he collected into his pockets before trudging over to you. Though, not without chuckling to himself.

After running around the playground a little bit and taking a trip down memory lane and whatnot, you followed Heeseung to the basketball courts. In your middle school days, you remembered how Heeseung would ditch you at the swings to go play basketball.

You sat next to the base of the hoop, just far enough to not get hit.

You watched in awe as Heeseung dribbled the ball, passing the orangey ball from palm to palm. He was always good at basketball. You remember pressuring him in highschool to try out for the school team. And when he made it, nothing made you feel giddier than seeing the proud and excited look on his face. That's why you went to all of his games in secret, just to silently cheer him on. Of course, you'd never let him know that.

With each flick of his wrist to shoot the ball, you couldn't hide your amazement as he made every basket.

Every.

Single.

One.

Tall, strong, talented, and a loser.

Gosh, you wanted him so bad.

Him and his nerdy little antics.

On Heeseung's end, he made sure to play his best.

Sure, he was in his childhood basketball court. Sure, he wasn't playing against anyone else. But that was exactly why he had to do his best.

You were watching.

He'd never forget how you ran up to him after seeing him hoop one afternoon, exclaiming, "You need to try out for the basketball team!"

Back then, he thought you were being mean, but your words rang through his head enough that he actually did try out for the team. And he made it.

Now that he was an adult, Heeseung realized that you were anything but mean. If anything, you were encouraging him. 

And now that you were watching him play all these years later, Heeseung had to prove to you that your words were not in vain.

"Woooooow," you drew out your syllables as you watched, silently clapping your hands at each basket. 

Heeseung chuckled, jogging up to where you were. Letting the basketball roll across the court, Heeseung crouched down to your sitting figure, wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his palm.

"You're so good at basketball, Heeseung," you said coolly, trying your best to hide the fact that you were 100% gawking at him and his sweaty face.

Heeseung laughed as he caught his breath. The smell of the night air was making him feel so alive, so bold.

"All thanks to you," he breathed as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair. 

"Nah," you waved him off. "You're giving me too much credit. It's all because of your hard work."

Heeseung shook his head, lightly punching your arm. "It's your support that made me so good."

You shook your head. "Not at all."

The boy gave you a look, quirking his brow, almost like he was doubting you. "You think I never noticed you at my games?"

.

.

.

Shit.

"Y-You knew I was at your games?!" 

He knew all this time?!

!!!

Warmth washed over you.

All those times you screamed his name from across the court to cheer his name, all those times you snuck, all those times you jabbed at him for playing too much even though you spent too much time at his games.

Your cheeks felt warm as your hands found refuge on your head, shaking as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"No, no, no!" you cried. "That's so embarrassing!"

Heeseung's deep laugh made you even more embarrassed, especially the way he cooed at you and put a hand on your knee reassuringly.

"Of course I knew you were there," Heeseung said, putting a hand on his chin. "I knew it every single time. I don't think you missed any of my games."

You squeezed your eyes shut even harder, groaning. "Stooooop."

Heeseung laughed again, before clicking his tongue. He got back up and strolled toward the stray basketball.

You didn't know why, but his nonchalance and ease at picking up the ball made your heart pound. He was just so... strong.

Sure, he was a loser most of the time, but on the court, he was a completely different person.

As Heeseung began to dribble again, you had to admit that it was attractive.

With one more bounce, Heeseung snapped his head at you, meeting your eyes. 

"This one's for you."

Your heart drummed in your chest. This was the type of stuff that happened in movies, when the basketball player dedicates a hoop for their loved one. How were you a grown woman and still feeling giddy and nervous over this?

It felt like it happened in slow motion. 

You watched as the ball seemingly floated between his fingertips. The sound of the rubber ball as it collided with the concrete courts filled your ears, coupled by the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. 

Heeseung's tongue swiped over his bottom lip. With a flick of the wrist and a jump, he shot the ball up into the air. 

It stayed up in the air for what felt like an eternity, before it propelled forward.

There it was, its orange skin against the blue night sky.

And as gravity pulled it toward Earth, you held your breath.

Closer and closer, the ball inched toward the red-brimmed hoop.

And just as you held your breath...

The ball...

Missed.

.

.

.

You deadpanned.

Heeseung was going to dedicate a ball to you... and he missed the hoop completely.

That's...

So cute.

You snorted, before you keeled over, some of the hardest laughs of your entire light spilling out of your mouth. This was hysterical. You laughed so hard that your stomach hurt.

Heeseung was such a loser, and it made you feel like a little girl.

Meanwhile, Heeseung stood there, completely red in the face.

"Sh-Shut up!" he grumbled as you laughed. How embarrassing!

When you finally calmed down, you had to hold yourself back from cooing at how cute Heeseung's embarrassed face was. But you just look at him with a grin. 

"Try again."

And he did.

And it felt like suddenly the world was against him.

Just a few minutes ago, Heeseung made every single one of his shots.

And now that it actually mattered, he missed.

Every.

Single.

One.

And to make things worse, you laughed at every one of his missed shots.

"Heeseung Lee," you announced as he gave up, taking a seat beside you. "You are such a loser."

He groaned, pulling his knees to his chest. 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the grasshoppers sing their hearts out. 

Neither of you wanted to move. Because if you did, it would mean one step closer to this night ending. Of course, there was always tomorrow and the rest of the summer to see each other, but to be separated even for a little bit as night passes was too long.

It felt like so much had changed, but at the same time, it felt like everything was exactly as it was left.

Feeling a stroke of boldness, Heeseung guided your head onto his shoulder, before slithering his arm to wrap around your own shoulders.

You guys stayed like that for a little bit.

Heeseung gazed at you. You could be lost in thought or dozing off, he wouldn't be able to tell.

He wanted this to last a little bit longer than forever.

Something was changing and neither of you could tell what it was.

Maybe it was now early July, and the heat was unbearable. Or maybe it was the intense scent of bug repellent that had gotten to your heads. It could be all those frozen yogurts you guys ate in your car, or the amount of shitty superhero movies you binged together.

Whatever it was, it was changing everything.

A single atom was out of place, a molecule of carbon was in the wrong spot. Heeseung couldn’t put his finger on it.

The air felt so warm, but not in a humid, suffocating way. 

More like in a rosy way, like someone put a filter over Heeseung's world and now everything was more vibrant.

Heeseung had reason to suspect that you were the culprit.

He'd known you his whole life, and it was only up until recently that he understood why people loved you so much. Because who wouldn't? You weren't just beautiful, but so goddamn incredible. In every way possible.

Heeseung couldn't explain it. He didn't think he had a crush on you. 

In all the romance books and games and movies that he'd consumed, they portrayed crushes as this magical unicorn of all things. Nervous, awkward, clumsy, and an upward battle.

But when Heeseung thought of you, he didn't feel any of these things. 

He felt at home. Comfortable, as if he could be as much of a nerdy loser as he wanted and he'd still be treated the same way. 

Unlike all what fiction would tell him, you weren't some god to him, nor were you a venerated saint. You were just you, and that was already enough to make his heart race. 

There wasn't that urge to constantly hold your hands or kiss your lips (not that he didn't think about it!).

Rather, there was a need to always be with you, to be let into your world, to listen to every thought that you had, to hear your laugh until he fell asleep.

Maybe Heeseung didn't have a crush on you, but it was certainly something else.

And it was the same for you.

You've had crushes, and you've had boyfriends.

You always felt like you needed to be perfect for them, to be drop-dead gorgeous and put-together all the time, to be the kindest version of yourself.

But when it came to Heeseung, it didn't feel like that. 

You could be as brash and annoying as you wanted, without the fear that he'd shun you. In fact, Heeseung would fight back or laugh.

While with all your boyfriends you wanted intimacy, validation, and constant reassurance, Heeseung felt safe. 

You craved nothing from Heeseung except... Well, Heeseung himself. 

And it was driving you nuts.

Help!

It was another family dinner, with both of your families, this time at your own house.

Heeseung and you sat across from each other. From when you were children until now, the two of you still ignored everything that the adults said, opting to stare and make faces at each other.

Except this time, it was absolutely impossible to look at each other without bursting out laughing. 

You dug your teeth into your bottom lip, holding back a smile as you glued your eyes to your plate. If you dared to look up and even catch sight of Heeseung's hair, you'd probably laugh.

You gripped your fork. Even if you weren't looking at him, you still somehow could hear him. The way he obnoxiously and loudly poked at his food with his fork was something you always jabbed at him for, and it was still noticeable to you now. Except, instead of annoying you, it only made it harder to not laugh.

"[Name]," Ms. Lee's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up with shaky eyes, and when your eyes passed over Heeseung, you had to bite back a giggle. Alas, you weren't strong enough to hold back a smile.

"Yes?" you responded. From the corner of your eye, you could see Heeseung's nose scrunching. You sent him a quick glare, one that could only last a millisecond.

Don't you dare make a funny face or I'll spill my water all over you, your glare read. But it didn't seem like Heeseung cared.

"What have you been up to all summer?" Ms. Lee smiled. "Any summer programs?"

"No, not this summer," you answered politely. "I've just been—"

Your mother interjected, wiggling her eyebrows. "I've noticed [Name] and Heeseung hanging out a lot this summer."

From under the table you felt Heeseung kick you, but you still didn't dare look at his face. You had to bite inside of your cheek to keep laughter from tumbling out, your eyes wobbling.

"Oh, really?" Ms. Lee looked over at her son. "I didn't know you and [Name] were close, Hee!"

And this was when you unfortunately made eye-contact with Heeseung. Poor boy, his lips wobbled and twitched, trying his hardest to keep it in.

"Y-Yeah," he answered quickly, his voice shaking. That in itself was enough to make you let out a giggle. But before it could be uncontrollable, you clamped your hand over your mouth. You watched as Heeseung did the same, except this time, his face was bright red.

"That's so great!" you moms rejoiced. "We were so afraid that you guys would hate each other forever! You know, when you were kids, you used to..."

You and Heeseung tuned everyone out as they joined in the conversation about your old antics.

Instead, the two of you stared at each other, both completely blank-faced. But a simple look at you and it would be painfully obvious by the way your lips twitched that you were fighting for your life to not burst out with laughter.

And it was when Heeseung was taking a sip of water that you decided to make your attack on him. Just as he was raising his glass to his lips, you quickly made a face at him.

And just as fast as his entire face contorted, a loud laugh fell from his lips. Unfortunately for him, he still had water on his mouth. Poor boy began choking on his water, keeling over himself as he coughed up a storm. 

And while everyone was busy helping him, you were busy laughing your ass off.

You win this one, was the agreement.

"You were 100% playing dirty," Heeseung whined.

You rolled your eyes. "Who gives a fuck?"

After you and Heeseung were excused from the dinner table, the two of you went up to your room.

Currently, the two of you were just lazing around your room. Both of you were on your bed, but Heeseung laid upside-down, with his head hanging off the edge. Although you barely exchanged any words, it wasn't awkward. 

You scrolled through your socials, while Heeseung played his games on his phone. Just the two of you in your own worlds, occasionally breaking the silence to make a jab at each other or to show the other something.

"Oh my god!" you cried suddenly, tossing your phone aside and putting your face in your hands, your fingertips rubbing your temples. "What the fuck?!"

Heeseung, startled, looked at you concerned. "What happened?"

When you groaned into your palms, shaking your head profusely, Heeseung shut off his game, putting his phone away. He sat himself upright, shuffling over to you.

"What happened?" he asked again.

"Bad!" you cried, sinking your head into your pillows. "Horrible! Deplorable! Despicable!"

Heeseung stared at you questioningly, his brows cocking into an arch.

"Tell meeeee," he prodded you, watching as you only sunk back into your pillows. You grabbed one of your plushies and shoved your face into it, flipping over so that you could kick your feet. 

You groaned more, before you screamed into your plush. "I hate men!"

Heeseung poked you again, this time a little bit harder. "Tell meeeee. Did your ex text you?"

"Worse!" your words were slightly muffled, but Heeseung could hear the sheer irritation. "Way, way, way, way, wayworse!"

You did this a little bit longer, before you huffed and flipped yourself over once more. Sitting upright, you saw Heeseung sitting there patiently, waiting for you to explain to him what the fuck was going on.

"Okay so," you began, wincing at the next words you were about to say. "You know how my Instagram is public? So that anyone can message me?"

Heeseung narrowed his eyes. "Yeeeeessss?"

You grumbled something under your breath, taking Heeseung's hands in yours. You traced shapes on his palms and played with his fingers, anything to distract yourself from the godforsaken things you'd have to say next.

"Well," you sighed, shaking your head. "I got a dick pic from some random guy."

Heeseung blinked.

"Oh."

.

.

.

"Wait, you got a what?!"

Yes, you really received an unsolicited picture of some guy's dick. Insane, really.

It was now Heeseung's turn to tweak out. 

"Oh my god!" he fell back into the pillows, grabbing at his hair. How ridiculous! "What the fuuuuuck?!"

"I know right?!" you fell back with him. The two of you laid like that, your heads next to each other. 

It was silent again, save for the sound of your parents chattering downstairs.

"Did you block him?" Heeseung suddenly asked.

"Nope," you sighed loudly. "Not yet."

Heeseung hummed. 

He couldn't imagine how many times you'd probably encountered this type of situation. And if this was the first time, it was already too much. If he were in your position, he'd have absolutely no idea how to react either. He'd be paralyzed, with no idea what to do! Maybe except...

"Do you want to fuck with him?" Heeseung blurted.

"Huh?"

"You know..." the boy swiped his tongue over his lips, wringing his fingers. "Fuck with him."

You looked at him, your head tilted as if you didn't understand.

"I-I mean, if this guy's going to be disrespectful, it wouldn't hurt to give him a taste of his own medicine, right?"

You nodded, understanding. "But how?"

Heeseung's nose scrunched. He had many ideas, but he wasn't sure which one was the best. "Well, do you want to have fun with it or do you want to genuinely scare this guy off?"

You thought for a second, before a sly grin made its way across your cheeks. "There's no harm in having fun. I can just block him afterwards, easy peasy."

"Oh," Heeseung said. Then, a good idea popped into his head. His lips curved. "I have just the idea for that."

"Is this okay?"

"Hmm, a little to the left."

Heeseung's plan was funny, but it also made you feel... mushy.

The idea was for Heeseung to respond on your phone pretending to be your boyfriend, something that would probably scare the other guy off. 

After a little bit of stalking, you guys concluded that the guy was a frat bro, so it would be best to prepare some pictures for evidence.

The first picture you decided to take was one that showed just a small part of your back and shoulders in bed, just enough to make it seem like you were in bed with someone. That way, it would be believable if Heeseung pretended to be your boyfriend.

So here you were, laying in bed with the blankets strategically draped over you, pretending to be asleep, while Heeseung snapped 'candid' pictures. You turned off all the lights to make it more believable, so if your parents walked in now they'd be confused as all hell.

"It's a little blurry," Heeseung remarked as he looked at the camera roll.

"That's perfect," you rolled over, facing him. "It'll look even more candid."

The next picture that you prepared was a little bit more risky, but all the more impactful.

"So... So.. Uhm—" Heeseung's cheeks burned as he explained it to you. "I think it would scare him if he thought he was messing with a super buff guy, you know?"

"Uh huh."

"W-Well," Heeseung grimaced. "If I send— like— a picture of my muscles, or something, I think it would scare him off."

You blinked. "Is this just an excuse to show off your biceps?"

"No!"

As you tuned out Heeseung's rambling, you thought for a few seconds. If you were a guy, and some girl's boyfriend caught you trying to flirt with her, what would make you piss yourself?

Well, it would definitely be any explicit indication of intimacy... Your lips moved faster than your mind.

"What if you sent a picture of you with hickeys and lipstick marks?" you gushed.

Heeseung choked on his spit, coughing so loud that you thought he would burst a lung. His face was bright red, his eyes as wide as saucers as he stared at you horrified.

"A picture of me with what?!"

"Hickeys and lipstick marks," you said casually.

"And where would I get them?!" Heeseung was going to faint. If you said what he think you were going to say, he'd absolutely combust—

"Me, duh."

Flames. Absolute flames. That's what Heeseung felt on his skin. Were you just suggesting that you could give him hickeys and lipstick marks? His heart was pounding in his chest, so loud that he could barely hear his own thoughts.

"I mean, if you don't want to, we can just—"

"No!" Heeseung interrupted you, as if he wasn't as red as a tomato. "I can take it!"

And that's how Heeseung found himself sitting on your bedroom floor, his body so hot and hands clammy as he watched you roll up his sleeve. 

Here was the plan for this picture: You'd put a few lipstick marks and hickeys on his biceps and neck. That way, he could snap a quick picture of that area alone while flexing, effectively scaring off the guy.

(Or maybe this entire plan was a very poor excuse for Heeseung to pretend to be your boyfriend and for you to kiss him.)

"Have you ever gotten a hickey?"

Heeseung's cheeks flared. "N-No."

You quickly put on your most pigmented lipstick. Slowly, you leaned closer to Heeseung's neck. He could feel your breath against his ears, making him want to squirm away. You put your hand on the other side of him so that you could stabilize yourself.

"Well," you whispered. "It doesn't hurt, so don't worry."

You brought your hand up to Heeseung's hair, gently tilting his head back to get better access to his neck. 

"Can I...?" you rasped, wetting your lips.

"Y-Yes."

And with that, your lips attacked his neck. You made sure to press on firm kisses so that the imprint of your lips would be defined on his neck. 

With each kiss, Heeseung let out a quiet whimper, his eyes squeezing shut as his arm jerked out to grasp your arm gently.

He felt like he was dreaming, because here he was, having you kiss him. No intense build-up, no dramatic reason, just because it was funny and you wanted to fuck with someone. God, Heeseung would be lying if he said he never thought about what your lips would feel like. They were always so pretty, and so soft.

All throughout his life, Heeseung had never had a romantic experience. It was his first time ever being kissed on the neck, and goddamnit was he sensitive. The way your lips pressed against his skin made him feel so weak. 

He wanted to be closer to you, closer than whatever this stupid little plan was. He craved it.

His other arm came up to slither around your waist, pulling you even closer to him.

"Hees— Heeseung— Ah—" you pulled your lips away, both of your hands coming up to clutch his shoulders for stability. "What are you doing?"

Heeseung's pupils were blown out. 

"Get on top of me," he breathed desperately, "Please."

"Shiiiit," you cursed under your breath, before you plopped down on his lap, your legs on either side of his hips. 

The two of you locked eyes, staring into each other's swirling pools of color. You could've been lost in Heeseung's eyes for minutes or for hours, there wouldn't have been a difference.

Oh, how much you wanted to kiss him. Not just a stupid little kiss on the neck. You wanted to kiss him on the lips, kiss him so hard that he forgot his own name.

Yeah, you had a crush on Heeseung Lee. You always had, and it seemed like no matter what, you were always bound to be downright attracted to him. God, you wanted him so bad.

Meanwhile, blaring alarms were going off in Heeseung's head. 

He wanted to kiss you so bad. He wanted to drown in you, for you to be the only thing enveloping his senses.

Except... he had no idea how to— he had no idea now to express that. And it was making his head spin.

You opened your mouth to speak, not realizing that Heeseung, too, had something to say.

"Hee—"

"I—"

Both of you shut your mouths so quickly.

"S-Sorry," you stuttered. "Go ahead."

Heeseung blinked a few times, before he shut his eyes. You watched how he parted his lips, yet no sound came out, almost as if he was searching for the words in his head to say. 

"I-I—" he started, before cutting himself off. His eyes squeezed together, his brows crashing together. You could feel his body tense under you.

"I don't know," he finally got out. "I-I— I don't know what—"

You brought your hand up to cup his cheek reassuringly. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and your thumb rubbed his cheek gently. 

"Tell me," you whispered. "Tell me, baby."

Heeseung gulped. He felt like he'd melt under your gaze, but the way you were so gentle encouraged him. Heeseung kept his eyes glued on the floor, because if he even dared to look you in the eye he'd turn to stone.

He took a deep breath. He'd tell you how you made him feel. It shouldn't be too hard, right?

But the moment that he opened his mouth, his brain turned to mush.

"I want to— I just— I don't know—" he stammered— "I wish I could— You know— It's hard to say, and—"

And if it wasn't for the way you stifled a giggle, Heeseung thought he would've gone on like this for another ten minutes. 

The moment that Heeseung realized you were smiling at his struggle, he shut his mouth, letting out a groan. He threw his head back, bringing his hands up to shove his face in.

"Shut up," he groaned. This was so embarrassing. He could feel heat prickling on his skin. His face was so hot that he thought he'd explode. "Shutupshutupshutup!"

You giggled again, this time using both your hands to cup his face. 

Despite your cool, nonchalant exterior, you were giggling and kicking your feet on the inside. 

"You're—" you breathed— "You're such a fucking loser."

Heeseung was about to tell you to shut up again, but you cut him off.

"Can I kiss you?"

You relished in the way his eyes widened, probably the widest that you've ever seen them. So cute.

"P-Please."

And with that, you smashed your lips against his. 

Poor boy, he was completely frozen at first. But as you swiped your tongue over his bottom lip, you relished in the way that he let out a gasp, giving you just enough room to slip your tongue inside his mouth. You explored his mouth— every corner and every crevice was meant for you to corrupt. 

You could feel his hands fall down at his sides. Of course, a loser like Heeseung wouldn't know where to put them. As you taste his lips, you guided his hands to your thighs. He gasped again, and you took this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. As you did, Heeseung squeezed your thighs, letting out a whine.

Finally, you pulled away.

The two of you stared at each other, both breathless with swollen lips.

And as you caught your breath, you breathed, "I like you."

Maybe he would've been too stunned to speak after a kiss like that, but your words a loud "Huh?!" spill from his lips.

You grasped his chin, pulling him in again. 

"I like you," you murmured against his lips, your eyes lidded.

Heeseung's breath hitched. "I—"

"Was that what you were going to say?" you said slyly, unwilling to hide your teasing tone. A whimper came from him. "Did I beat you to it?"

You ghosted your lips over his teasingly, loving the way that Heeseung leaned forward a little bit, whining as you pulled away just enough for him to miss you.

"Just—" he murmured, "Just kiss me already."

"Gladly."

And with that, your lips crashed together. This time, Heeseung's lips were moving, too. He was a clumsy kisser, someone who had no fucking idea what he was doing. But that made the kiss even better. You've kissed many boys, but for some reason Heeseung was the best kisser you've had. You could taste him.

"Such a fucking loser," you murmured. You felt his hands slide up your waist, squeezing you.

"Yeah," Heeseung mumbled against your lips, and although his words were muffled, his voice drove you crazy. "Yourfucking loser."

Immediately you pulled away.

You looked at Heeseung, and he looked at you.

.

.

.

You bursted out laughing, and so did he.

"God, you're so cheesy!"

"Shut up!"

BONUS

You rested your cheek on Heeseung's shoulder, watching as he typed away. After all this, the two of you still needed to fulfill your plan: fuck with Mr. Dick Pic.

"What are you going to say?" you asked, nuzzling your face into Heeseung's neck. You admired the purple-pink marks littering his skin, the ones that you left. Your lipstick marks smudged when you and Heeseung were making out earlier, so you had to redo them. It was hard, because all Heeseung could do was giggle like a little girl.

"Trust me, I'll cook something up."

And cook he did.

[name]: she's busy bro

[name]: [photo]

The first photo he sent was the candid one of you.

You waited a few seconds, and Mr. Dick Pic immediately opened the message.

Heeseung hid your phone from you, so you couldn't see the guy's response.

But what you could see was how he furiously typed away.

You thought it was funny at first... until Heeseung was typing paragraphs and paragraphs so loud that you could hear his fingers tapping the screen.

"Hold on, babe, I'm fighting this guy!"

"Just block him...!"

Some things never changed.

---

wip.

heartbeat - jake x f!reader 21% FIC

after a tough breakup, Y/N retreats to her australian summer escape, hoping to leave her heartache behind. however, she soon discovers her ex will be there for the entire summer.

---

camboy! | c.yj.

[ 🎥 ] — after yeonjun's rise in the porn industry, an interview was something he agreed to for fun. however, after he saw you, the interviewer, he wished it was a fake interview where he gets to fuck you.

cw : pornstar!yeonjun. unedited word vomit fictional magazine company that apparently also exists in real life.

a/n ; i apologize for my sins i swear I'll change 🙏🏼 and this is a drabble, not a fic! i might turn it into one over time ♡

after you reached out to him a few weeks ago with greetings and compliments, and asking can I interview you some time? I'd like to know what it's like to be a person who earns through the adult industry, and with your fame, I know that you're just the right person., his first, honest reaction was to laugh. i mean, seriously?

he was laughing at the irony of the fact that he was being interviewed. i mean, who was willing enough to take out time of their busy, hectic schedule to interview a man who earns bread by having a dildo inside of him? he had to know. he wanted to know what this person was like.

he did think that this could be completely false and you could be a potential threat, trying to lure him into your little cage with cheese like he's a fucking rat, capture him and do bad things to him like he'd heard with various nefarious acts of people against people with 'easy' fame.

"can I get proof that you're actually an interviewer?"

to which he immediately got a response with a photo of a xerox copy of your identification document, namely at a popular company called mode de vie. he could see the black and white ink that framed the photo stuck on the top right corner, and he knew that he had to see that fucking face in real life. if that's how you look in a awfully captured picture, so captivating, bold, and confidence outlining your eyes in the form of sharp eyeliner, he had to see that face in front of him, asking him questions about his body count or something else he doesn't give two shits about.

he'd said sure to your offer almost immediately now that he saw that it was a real interviewer after him. and now that it was time, he drove to the place where you both agreed to be at — a café which was relatively close to his house and your office.

"I'm glad you came!" you said as you shook his hand that would eventually get sweaty from just sitting opposite to you. what the fuck? he seriously considered telling you to quit this stupid, serious job and just join him in his public sex life. you were stunning.

now that he saw your hair open, framing your face, and that fucking sharp-ass eyeliner, he was mad that he didn't dress up nicely and instead came in a hoodie. who wants to miss a chance of getting a baddie?

he thanked the lords he'd long forgotten when you told him this is just an audio based interview which will later be turned into a text format.

while you continued asking him questions about everything, from "fuck-a-fan" to "how did your mother find out?", he'd needed to ask you to repeat your questions several times. his eyes kept drifting down, down to your chest.

'why the fuck are you wearing a top so low-cut? is it to provoke me or something?' he'd think. he legitimately wants to put his hand on the table, pushing himself towards you and grabbing one of your tits. it's pissing him off he can't.

okay, so maybe he was a pervert like one of his friends liked to say. but it wasn't his fault when you were asking him questions about his sex life while looking at him with those eyes that were possibly tearing his clothes off.

in his world, that is.

'do you want to fuck me too, or am I trippin'?'

he knew he had to keep his filthy hands, his filthy thoughts, to himself. c'mon, it's a fucking interview, yeonjun. grow up. you've had plenty of girls and guys to fuck in your life. from small and petite, to taller than you. from fucking someone to getting fucked. you've done it all. why are you so captivated by this woman?

maybe it was the way you had your makeup done that had him wishing he could see it smeared all over with a new makeup product; his cum, or maybe it was your tits that were practically begging to be the thing he shoves his face in tonight. but no, it was the way you carried yourself.

there was this... this aura, this radiation of confidence that was magnetic enough for him to be pulled to you.

under the table, he was practically going to rub one out. he kept adjusting his pants, kept palming his dick that was straining against his pants and standing up against his thoughts of not fucking you ever.

ugh, just how fucking good you'd look on his bed, and he swears he could go above his rounds per fucking streak of 4 with you; from classic missionary to the amazon position, from sixty-nine to his foot on your face while he fucked your ass from the back. fuck, he'd even let you peg him, something he's always refused to do.

just how good you'd look while sliding your strap-on inside of him, his eyes going wide, as well as your smile at the sight of his pretty face. he thinks you'd like some crazy songs playing in the background, similar to the vibe of playboi carti.

fuck, he'd hold onto your tits for support, comfort, for just the fucks of it no matter who is topping.

"um, excuse me?" you asked when he spaced out in the middle.

"yeah?" he said, looking up from the table where both of your milkshakes resided.

"thank you for the interview. i appreciate it a lot!" you said, smiling at him, completely unaware of the junk he had in his brain about you. you put out your hand for a friendly yet professional handshake.

"oh, yeah, of course." he muttered out, responding to your hand with his that was definitely sweaty.

as you closed your notepad and stopped the recording, he looked up at your face finally.

"can I ask you a question too?"

"oh, yes, of course." you said, looking up at him with a face of genuine curiosity. maybe it would be something like —

"when will this be posted?"

"where can I read it?"

"will there be a hardcopy?"

"would you ever fuck me if you could?"

and suddenly, this was the first time you regretted not recording the aftermath of an interview.

---

BED CHEM

amidst trying to keep your gpa up and not get kicked off the cheer team, you take your friend’s advice and ask jake sim, one of the smartest students in your campus, to tutor you. you see him as a snarky know-it-all who’s obsessed with correcting your every mistake, and he sees you as a dumb cheerleader with a rep for breaking hearts. but as things unfold, you discover you both have something to learn from each other, and it’s a lot more than just algebra.

pairing) nerd!jake x cheerleader!reader

genre) smut/pwp, enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, angst

contents) f!reader, popular!jake/reader, jake's a smart a.ss [& a jerk at first but let him cook], basketball player!heeseung/jay, temporary reader x hee, exes, misunderstood reader, brief conversation about throwing up, eventual pining, desc. of anxiety, fear of emotional intimacy, jealousy, lack of communication, happy ending, [ft. itzy's chaeryeong, skz's felix, & layla]

smut warnings) under cut!

wc) 14.5k

now playing) bed chem — sabrina carpenter

notes) i took the lyrics “come right on me, i mean camaraderie!” and ran with it. fic’s moodboard here!

smut warnings) several smut scenes, switch!jake/reader, angry s.ex?, s.ex in locker room, jake fu.cks reader in cheer uniform, ti.tty sucking, or.al fixation!jake, munch!jake, or.al s.ex, degra.dation, begging, hair pulling, c.um swallowing, exhibi.tionism, reader makes jake almost c.um in his pants during class, s.ex in janitor’s closet [they do it in a bed eventually lol], lots of kissing, praise, flexible!reader, pull out method [dont], jake slaps reader’s thigh once, petnames [baby, little/baby/good girl], reader mentions being on the pill, raw s.ex

the gym is bustling, filled by cheerleaders and the basketball team as you all practice for the game on wednesday.

“okay! 5 minute break and then we’ll start those high kicks again!” your cheer captian announces after confirming to your coach with some silent hand gestures.

you follow your team as they walk to the bleachers, most grabbing their water bottles or sitting down and wiping the sweat off their skin with a towel.

you reach into your duffel bag, rummaging with your hand blindly for a few moments before realizing you don’t feel your water bottle. unzipping it completely, you search for a bit before letting your head drop with an exhausted sigh.

“what’s wrong?” chaeryeong asks from the seat above yours as she redoes her ponytail.

“i somehow forgot my water.”

“oh, you can have some of mine!” she offers, raising her owala to you.

“do you know how much bacteria is probably in that?” you smile with a teasing grimace, even though you really do mean what you say.

“wow, not even a thank you!” chae pretends to be hurt, putting an offended hand to her chest. “i bet you’re a stanley girly, aren’t you?”

“nope. just a plain water bottle i got from target. secure screw cap, no straw, easy to clean.”

“are you trying to sell it to me?” chae quirks a playful brow and you laugh, waving a hand in front of you as you start to walk towards the gym’s exit. “if you want to drink from your mold filled bottle go ahead. i’m gonna go to the water fountain.”

chaeryeong sticks her tongue out at you just as you enter the hallway, so you make sure to pop your head back in and do the same childish expression at her before approaching the fountain and leaning down to take a drink.

“oh! s-sorry.” a deep voice says as you see sneakers suddenly appear in your downward view. you wipe your mouth and lift your head up to see heeseung, who evidently just came out of the restroom and almost walked right into you.

his hair remains in his face despite him brushing it back with a muscular arm, glistening biceps almost distracting you enough that you forget to answer. but once your eyes travel from his sculpted arms, to his jersey that clings to his sweaty chest, and finally his sweet, doe eyes that stare at you, you remember that he’s expecting you to reply.

“no, it’s okay! don’t worry about it.”

“did you forget your water too?” he chuckles, the sound sending a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“yeah…” you answer lamely.

apparently all of your hot cheerleader mojo goes down the drain when you’re in front of lee heeseung, your college’s top basketball player. (it also doesn’t help that you’ve been crushing on him for a good month now.)

“too?” you echo, unable to think of anything else to keep the conversation going but desperately wanting to. despite having regular practices in the same vicinity, this is the first conversation you’ve had, aside from some lingering stares and a few shared smiles.

“jay usually brings a cooler of drinks, but he didn’t this time. probably forgot.”

“oh, pre game nerves, perhaps?” you joke, smiling and tilting your head teasingly.

“we’re not nervous.” heeseung smirks with a flirty tone. “we always win.”

“cocky, are we?”

“maybe. or maybe you cheering for me throughout the game is my lucky charm.”

you bite down your grin to keep yourself under control, delighted at how well your dry conversation has turned into some playful flirting. you hoped he was into you, but you’re not going to assume that from a few distant smiles.

“what makes you think i’m cheering just for you?”

heeseung chuckles and steps closer, you noting how he has to tilt his head down to look at you because he’s so damn tall. his eyes zero in on yours, an intensity filling the air as he takes a breath to speak—

but right before he can, another voice interrupts as it echos down the hallway.

“yo, hee! they’re needing you back, man.” a shorter man runs up, it not taking you long to recognize him.

it’s jake sim, one of the smartest seniors on your campus.

you feel like you’re from completely different worlds whenever you see him. he’s popular like you, yes. but he has a pretty clean rep with perfect grades to match. professor’s love him for his kiss-ass attitude and students…well.

they want to fuck him— or him fuck them. either way. nothing really matters to anyone when your face is as cute as his and you have a hot aussie accent.

not that you relate to the any of those sentiments. you actually find him annoying as fuck.

“oh,” jake mumbles when he notices you behind heeseung’s larger frame, sounding almost bothered by your presence.

well the feeling’s mutual.

“come on, dude. they sent me to get you.” he further urges, grabbing heeseung’s arm.

“what are you even doing here, jake?” you ask with a hand raising to your hip, only a hint of your annoyance at the interruption showing in your tone. he’s not on the basketball team, neither cheer. he has no reason to be here.

“not right now, pom-poms.” the boy dismisses, not even bothering to look at you as he drags heeseung off.

you scoff in utter disbelief at his rudeness.

he always steals the spotlight when you’re about to answer a question in your one shared class, and now he’s stealing your man? (granted, he’s not your man— but he could have been, if jake hadn’t ran over!)

you stand and wonder what he was about to say. what if that conversation could have ended with him finally asking for your number!

“y/n! c’mon, girl! it’s go time!” one of your team member’s call out from the gym doorway.

you sigh before running to join your squad.

(❤︎)

it’s taken you to nearly be under your minimum gpa to admit that you’re failing algebra, a course you’re required to take. not only can this harm your future, but you could get kicked off the cheer team.

“well, you have to do something!” chaeryeong whisper-yells at you as you sit in physics class.

“i don’t want to have to pay for a tutor, i’m broke enough as it is.”

“then ask one of your friends.” chae suggests.

“…none of my friends are that smart,” you giggle under your breath, chaeryeong slapping you on the arm and causing an echo to resound in the room. like two mischievous children, chae retracts her hand to her lap and you straighten your posture, waiting to make sure no one is looking over at you.

a few moments later, and chae leans closer to you, eyes staring forward in an attempt to be more subtle.

"just ask jake. he's an engineer major. he’s gotta be good at algebra. and i heard he's loaded, so he doesn’t even need your money."

"hell no." you answer plainly, lips falling into a straight line as you glance over at the boy who’s rows away from you, nearly at the front of the class.

try hard.

"oh, come on, y/n. he's not that bad."

"he is. and besides, we’re not friends and i couldn’t ever bring myself to ask a favor of him, nevertheless for free!”

“he’s your best shot, dude. it’s either this, or officially screw yourself over.”

chaeryeong’s words— though not eloquently put, are true. and they annoyingly ring in your head for the remainder of the class.

chae hurries out to go to her next class, as does most everyone else. but you have a little bit of time.

so you linger in your seat, watching how meticulous jake is about placing his things in his backpack, wondering how he manages to straighten his glasses in the most egotistical way possible. you wait until jake starts walking towards the exit and is farther away from the professor, not wanting to have this conversation right in front of him. finally (reluctantly) you stand up and catch up to jake’s side.

he doesn’t bother slowing down, continuing to walk.

“hey, uh- jake,” you begin, feeling weird to say his name to his face. you cut to the chase, not caring enough to keep up impressions with him. “look, i need a tutor. i’m-“

“no, sorry.” he cuts you off simply, leaving you a tad stunned as your stride is broken. you stare at the back of his head until he turns a corner, then you go jogging after him.

“what? but, i-i”

“i don’t want to have to spend my free time tutoring someone.” jake explains, glancing at you before looking away just as quickly.

“i can pay you.” you say, innerly embarrassed at how fast your resolve has crumbled. chaeryeong would be laughing at you if she could see this right now.

“not interested.”

you can almost hear her in your brain…

“well, there’s gotta be something!”

jake finally comes to a sudden halt, almost causing you to run into his backpack before he turns to face you.

“i’m assuming it’s grammar you need help with?”

your initially surprised expression drops into a glare as you reply with a clearly fed up, “no. algebra.”

jake seems to ponder this for a moment, before smiling at you in a way that actually seems like it may be genuine (or at least not entirely snarky).

“walk my dog.”

“huh?” is that a euphemism for something?

“my dog, layla. she’s full of energy but sometimes i’m just too tired after classes or work. do you like animals?”

“i’m a biology major.”

jake looks a bit stunned, eyes blinking to open wider as they skim over your appearance for a second.

“what?” you start, very clearly offended. “why do you look so surprised?”

“i just thought it’d be…something else.”

“like what?”

“i don’t know. something in the creative field?”

“that’s stereotypical.”

jake bites on his bottom lip, you realizing he’s trying to conceal a smile, but before you can get mad about it— he continues.

“look, if you want it, we have a deal. yes or no, pom-poms?”

a flare of anger sparks inside you every single time he refers to you as ‘pom-poms’.

with lips pressed into an agitated line, you stretch out your open palm demandingly. “give me your phone.”

“why?”

“so i can give you my number and type in the contact name myself. my names y/n, not pom-poms.”

jake laughs under his breath, handing you his phone and watching as you type in your information.

“so is that a yes?”

“yes. can we meet tomorrow?”

“at my place.” jake agrees. “jay’s my only roommate so it should be less distracting for you.”

you hand jake back his phone, the man giggling at the little wave emoji you sent to yourself through his number so you’d have it in your phone.

“by the way, i already knew your name.”

“then why do you always call me pom-poms?”

“becaause…you always have them?” jake answers like it’s obvious. you scoff, putting an unamused hand to your hip.

“i don’t have them right now, do i?”

“no, and it’s honestly a little eerie.” he smirks, clearly intentionally getting under your skin and enjoying every second of it.

“whatever,” you exhale, completely over the conversation. “i gotta go to my next class. see ya.”

“see ya, pom-poms.”

…jerk.

(❤︎)

heeseung was right, they won the game, and his team wanted to go out and celebrate. it wasn’t a big win or anything, just a casual competition, but every now and then they like to celebrate their wins by going out to eat or a casual hang out at someone’s dorm. you also think they do it so they have an excuse to invite you and your cheer squad to hang out.

and this time was no different. after the game you all piled in friend’s cars and headed over to a small but good local restaurant nearby. unfortunately, you never got a chance to talk to heeseung. the restaurant was smaller and a bit packed with all of you in there, and you and hee ended up being seated far away from each other. all the different conversations and bustle of the restaurant covered up anyone’s voices besides who was right next to you, so you couldn’t even hear him.

still, it was fun. you ended up rolling into bed a little past 1 am.

which you’re now really regretting as you had to wake up at 5 am to get ready and rush to conditioning practice. once you’ve finished your drills, showered, and are walking to your first class of the day, you decided to text jake.

you: hey 👋 we still down for today

jake sim: Yes.

okay. one text and you’re already seeing some similarities in how he texts with your 60 year old uncle.

you: there a certain time i should come

you: also can u give me ur building number

jake: Is there*

you: huh

jake: IS there a certain time I should come?*

jake: Do you have something against vowels and punctuation?

you: omg!!

you: just tell me the fuckin time and address!!?!

you: is that enough punctuation for you?

jake: …

jake: Fucking*

(❤︎)

after cheer practice you hop in your car and enter in the address that was like pulling teeth for jake to finally give you. you can tell by looking at the address that it’s off campus, and as you pull up in jake’s driveway you realize chaeryeong was right when she said jake was loaded.

okay, maybe not loaded loaded, but he’s definitely well off, judging by the outside of his very nice home, perfectly stripe cut grass and shapely shrubbery. there’s even multiple cars here, which you note with a bit of confusion.

you stand and knock at the big, sculpted wooden doors for a minute, before simply trying the knob, which is luckily unlocked.

when you step inside you here distant voices.

deciding to follow the sound, it leads you to a billiard room where you see heeseung, jake and jay playing pool. they’re all stood around while a blonde haired man has his back to you, leaned over as he angles his shot. they still haven’t noticed your presence yet, and you feel incredibly awkward despite being invited to be here.

“um…jake?”

at your voice, all the men turn at once, the blonde man revealing his face to you.

you’re struck with horror as you both stare wide eyed at each other. someone’s speaking but you don’t catch it, everything sounding like it’s under water.

it’s lee felix. aka your ex that you abruptly ghosted after almost a year into your relationship.

“y/n?” felix utters, and it’s like you just breached the water’s surface, a sudden wave of consciousness washing over you as everything comes back into focus.

“y/n, i’m so sorry! i legitimately forgot!” jake says, and you take your opportunity to look at him and away from felix.

“it’s- its okay, i just…um,” you’re about to offer to leave, before heeseung speaks up.

“just stay, y/n. ever played pool?” he smiles sweetly, and the goosebumps that have raised on your skin soothe a little at his comforting expression.

“yeah! we can play cutthroat!” jay exclaims, already going over to the rack to get you a cue.

“she can just use mine.” heeseung stops him, coming to your side and causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“we’ve come close enough to poking someone’s eye out already, i don’t think we need more pointy sticks in the equation.” he laughs.

“okay, but i’m going first, since i was going to win that last game anyways.”

“as if, bro!” jay tries with jake. “i was gonna win!”

as heeseung moves to intervene the two boys and rearrange the balls on the table, at some point felix silently appears by your side, startling you as he softly says “have you played cutthroat before?”

“no,” you answer just as softly as the boys fill in the silence with their bickering. “i don’t even know how to play regular pool.”

felix laughs with a shining smile, and your chest fills with bittersweet nostalgia at the familiar yet almost forgotten memory of the deep timber of felix’s laugh and the crinkle of his nose that often pairs with it.

“don’t worry, cutthroat is actually a pretty good game for your first time despite the name. want me to show you how to hold your cue?”

“is that the stick thing?” you ask, and felix bursts into higher pitched giggles, the warmth of his aura making the tension in your body melt away.

(❤︎)

so much for jake’s place being ‘less distracting’. it’s 9 pm and you don’t think you’re actually going to have a session with jake tonight. but oh well, you’re actually having fun!

after about two hours of playing pool and just hanging out, you ask jake where the bathroom is before walking down the long hallway.

as you’re walking back, coming up to the archway of jake’s living room you all ended up migrating to, you hear heeseung speaking.

“i didn’t know you were tutoring her?”

“yeah,” jake answers with a huffed laugh. “i haven’t actually tutored her yet, and i probably never will.”

your brows furrow as you halt your feet, standing in the hallway silently to listen.

“what do you mean?” another voice asks. you think it’s jay.

“i don’t think she’s really looking to brush up on her algebra, man. she’s a typical dumb cheerleader, she’s probably just over here because she knows i’m friends with the basketball team.”

“dude-“ heeseung starts, but another thicker aussie accent interrupts.

“that’s fucked, man! how can you say that about her?”

there’s a tense few moments of silence, and you’re not sure if you wished you could see what’s happening or glad that you can’t. you blink as moisture starts to build up in your eyes.

“me? what about you? i’m surprised you’re defending her. didn’t she drop you like you meant nothing to her right when your relationship started to get serious?”

you can’t. you can’t listen anymore.

as quiet and quickly as possible, you head back to the bathroom before a watery gasp can expose your presence. a hand is rubbing at your eyes as tears stream down your face when your hands feel the cool metal of the doorknob.

you shut the door behind you and slide down it, onto your butt, crying into your knees that you wrap your arms around.

then you feel something wet swipe up your leg and you flinch, looking up to see a blonde little dog looking at you curiously.

“oh,” you whisper aloud to yourself, trying not to think about how stuffy you sound. “you must be layla, huh?”

the dogs mouth opens up to let her tongue hang out, appearing like she’s giving you a smile as she sits down obediently, tail wagging behind her.

you can’t help but let out a somber little giggle, wiping a tear off your cheek before leaning over to pet her on the head.

“you’re cute.” you smile, letting her soft fur and rhythmic panting calm you down.

a few minutes later the door opens, jake’s head popping in.

“oh, there you are.” he says, watching how layla is spread out on her back in your lap as you pet her belly.

“did you get lost?”

“uh, yeah.” you take the excuse, gently pushing layla off and standing up. “couldn’t find the bathroom.”

“heeseung and felix are about to leave, but they wanted to say bye.” jake explains, and you follow him out the door and to wherever the boys are.

“okay.” you reply, trying to make your voice sound smooth and not like you were just crying.

“hey, jake?”

the aussie looks over at you as you continue walking.

“can we still get a short tutoring sesh in?” you ask innocently on the outside, but inwardly there’s the burn of spite in your lungs. “i know it’s kinda late but i really need it.”

“oh…yeah, sure.” jake answers, looking away from you.

you bite down a salty smirk.

(❤︎)

after going over to jake’s house you turned his texts to mute and haven’t looked ever since.

it’s saturday night, which means football competition. a neighboring team is at your college’s home field to play head to head, and right now, it’s anybody’s game.

you’re in the middle of a cupie stunt right now, your base holding your body up with one hand as you focus on balancing and keeping on a big smile.

once your team’s routine is over you go to sit on the sidelines as the announcer’s voice booms over the speakers.

“hey, i’m gonna go get a gatorade.” chaeryeong taps on your shoulder, pointing at the food vendor who walks up the bleacher steps. “do you want anything?”

you turn to look, which proves to be a mistake as you make direct eye contact with none other than jake sim, who’s staring right at you amongst the crowd (and he looks a little ticked).

you snap your head back straight, letting out a yelped ‘no’. chae luckily doesn’t really pick up on your change of tone with how loud the crowd is, and replies with an ‘okay’ before jogging after the descending vendor.

she comes back a few moments later with her drink and a bag of chips.

“i don’t know how you eat during the games, aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick during a routine?”

“you’re on tiktok too much.” chae replies as she pops open the bag. “stop watching those horrible clips. it’s not very likely to happen at all. and i’m not a flyer like you. even if i puked, it wouldn’t get on anyone.”

“okaay! sorry i brought it up, getting grossed oout!”

chaeryeong laughs, bumping her shoulders with yours.

“hey, tell me about how it went with jake?”

you sigh with a roll of your eyes. “he only taught me for like, an hour.”

“oh!” chae squeals amidst chewing. “perhaps that was because you were too busy falling in love?!”

“oh my god, shut up, chae!”

the girl takes a quick swig of her drink before doing the exact opposite of what you asked. “do you know how many couples start off hating each other? you know, that burning anger you have for him could make for some hot se—“

“chaeryeong!” you gasp and chae laughs at how you sound like a scandalized victorian woman who just saw someone’s ankles. “stop it! that’s never happening.”

“i bet you’d have really good bed chem.” she states like it’s a fact.

“whatever.” you say just as the stadium erupts.

your home team doesn’t win, but your cheer squad goes out on the field to do your last routine anyways. you all go to the locker room to change after, most of your team moving quick to go to some party.

“you not coming, y/n?” your friend asks, chaeryeong also looking at you for your answer.

“i don’t think so, guys. maybe next time.”

eventually everyone walks out, leaving you alone as you set your pom-poms down.

amidst taking off your top, your hair falls into your face, leading you to shake your head as you blindly place your shirt inside your locker. when you open your eyes, you spot jake in your peripheral, staring at you wide eyed like an idiot while holding open the door.

“jake!” you screech, moving to cover your chest with your arms. “what the fuck!”

“i’m- i-i’m sorry, i was just trying to find you-“

“i don’t care, pervert! don’t come in the locker room!”

even with the distance, you can see how jake’s ears turn red. his face morphs from embarrassed panic to mad (and still embarrassed), the boy stomping closer until he’s right in front of you.

“i’m not a pervert, you kept ignoring my texts! we had a deal, you know!”

“well, you pissed me off!”

“me! how did i piss you off?”

“you- you’re…so fucking annoying!” you let out, not even knowing where you’re going with this as you get up in jake’s face.

“you ruined my chances with heeseung and act like an ass all the time!”

“ruined your chances! how did i ruin your chances with hee?” jake asks, and you back down a bit, not wanting to tell jake that you heard what he said that night.

at your silence, jake takes the opportunity to continue. “i mean, yeah. i don’t want you to be with heeseung, but that doesn’t mean i’d meddle—“

“and why don’t you want me to be with heeseung,” you interject, getting closer inch by inch to jake’s face as he stands his ground, giving you the same piercing eyes you challenge him with. “is it because…you think i’ll break his heart?”

you try to ask the question with just as much bite as your previous, hoping your insecurities don’t show through.

jake blanches, slightly taken aback by the directness of your question before he doubles down ten fold, pressing closer to you until your noses almost touch.

“yeah. maybe i do.” he grumbles to admit, breath puffing into your face.

you inhale to scoff, but then your chest brushes up against his, and suddenly you both remember that you’re only in a bra and cheer skirt.

jake glances down, eyes flitting over how your boobs press together when you have your arms angrily crossed, before meeting your gaze again.

the next thing you know, your lips are on his.

you don’t know who leaned in first, all you know is that he tastes like lemonade, tart but sweet enough to leave you wanting more.

his hands immediately go to your breasts, pushing you up against the lockers in his haste as the metal clangs and echos around the room, covering up your soft moan of shock.

your hands naturally move to rest at his stomach, where your surprised to feel the firm divots and raises of abs.

“do you-…do you workout?” you pant after parting from jake’s lips to take a breath. the boy doesn’t bother stopping, trailing his mouth from the corner of yours to down your neck, kissing and mouthing along your bra strap.

“can i take this off?” he asks, ignoring your question. you nod with a quiet little ‘yes’, jake reaching behind you to snap open your bra with one hand.

you try not to be too impressed (and fail), noting to yourself that the rumors must be true and this nerd does indeed fuck.

jake hastily guides your bra down your arms and tosses it to the side, latching his plush lips to your bud as his veiny hands continue to kneed at your breasts.

“oh my god,” you whisper under your breath, fingers moving to run through his hair as you let your head lean back against the locker. jake lets out a breathy groan at the feeling of you on his tongue and how you’re unconsciously giving small tugs to the tufts of his hair.

you whimper and flinch at the ghost of jake’s teeth on your nipple, quite literally feeling the curve of his smile on your skin as he glances up at you, not bothering to detach from your tits as his eyes sparkle with mischief. you let out a sigh as you smirk down at him, giving a now conscious, firm pull to his hair and watching how jake’s eyes shut in the stinging pleasure, a throaty moan escaping him.

“you’re a jerk.”

jake kisses from the swell of your breast and down your stomach in response, as though apologizing. now on his knees, he pauses at the waistband of your skirt. your hands move to take it off before jake stops you, sliding his palms over the material and to your thighs, squeezing at the plushness of them as he moves his head downward.

butterfly kisses are now being pressed up your legs until jake’s face is fully under your skirt. you put a hand over your mouth as you feel jake slowly sliding your panties down, trying to contain a needy moan at his teasing.

“damn, you’re wet.” jake whispers, the breath of his voice tickling your skin and causing your legs to tremble.

“please?” you whine, but only barely, still trying to hold on to some of your dignity.

“please what, pom-poms?” jake asks, and you can hear the smugness in his tone even while his face is hidden.

your eyes roll.

“oh my god, jake. please just shut the fuck up and eat me out!”

“can do.”

that’s all the warning jake gives before burying his face in your pussy, going at it like he’s starved.

you bite down on your lip to keep from crying out, not wanting jake to know just how good his mouth feels. (god knows his ego doesn’t need the boost.) you think you’re doing pretty good at keeping quiet, even when jake flicks your clit with his tongue, you only flinch slightly.

but jake takes notice of your silence, and it’s pissing him off.

so he runs a digit through the wetness of your pussy before pressing the entirety of it into your hole roughly, feeling how tightly your walls clench around him.

“f- fuck!” you startle.

it’s only one finger, but the length of it and the stretch his knuckles provide as he pumps them in and out of you mercilessly is making you come undone quicker than you would have thought.

jake’s making lots of slurping noises as his tongue licks at your leaking hole, nose nuzzling over your pulsing clit.

fuck, this man knows how to eat pussy. and when he presses a second finger inside of you, you know you’ve lost the quiet game. a whine comes from your throat as you squeeze your eyes shut, hips moving in small motions to meet the thrust of jake’s fingers.

he’s growling against you, eyes shut as he seems lost in the taste of you.

it isn’t until your head rolls to the side in pleasure that you notice he’s tugged his pants down just enough for his (to your shock, very big) cock to spring out, jerking himself off furiously as pre cum dribbles from the head.

“are you- fucking serious?” you laugh breathlessly, jake not stoping but opening his eyes to give you a confused glare.

“you’re getting off just from eating my pussy? how many of your hookups know you’re a munch?”

jake’s suddenly pulling his mouth off and fingers out of you with a cold look, but the hand on his cock never slows. if anything, it gets faster.

“if you’re gonna be a brat then i’m not making you cum.”

you’re thrown off, not expecting him to react this way, or how strangely embarrassed yet turned on it makes you feel. something about how angrily jake glares at you while he fists his big cock, even while he’s the one kneeling at your feet, it makes you feel oddly small.

and as much as it pains you to admit, desperate.

“i’m- i’m…sorry?”

jake lets out a humored scoff, shaking his head.

“you’re gonna have to do better than that. beg.”

you grit your teeth as you let out a frustrated sigh, unable to make eye contact as you force yourself to speak.

“please…make me cum.”

jake gives you an utterly unimpressed expression. “or i can just leave-“

“no! please, i- i’m sorry. i’ll be good, i wont be a brat anymore. just please make me cum?”

jake’s lips slowly stretch into a smirk that makes chills run down your spine, watching as his hand returns to his dick to rub over the leaking tip.

you unconsciously lick your lips and swallow.

“you’re gonna be a good girl for me?” he asks darkly.

“y- yes. i’ll be a good girl.”

jake’s diving back in with double the passion, his fingers slipping right back in as he curls them just right inside of you, hurling you towards climax.

“ah, j-jake, please! need- can i?” you pant, hardly able to get a word out as he’s sucking at your clit, giving it special attention.

he hums and you take it as a yes, thighs trembling as you cum all over jake’s chin.

“my turn.” jake growls, standing up and pushing you down to kneel in front of him, barely giving you any time to catch your breath before he’s shoving his dick in your mouth. still, you moan out happily, admittedly dying to have him in your mouth the moment you saw his pretty, pink tip and how big he is.

“that’s it, suck my cock like a good little slut.” jake orders, admiring how hot you look sitting on the floor in your short little cheer skirt. he grabs your hair in two fists, chuckling at how it looks like makeshift pigtails as he pulls on your hair to guide you further down his cock.

you sputter, struggling to take his bulbous tip down your throat but loving it and the stretch your jaw has to make to accommodate him.

he’s literally fucking your face, letting out little groans as he harshly snaps his hips against you.

once he looks down and sees your pretty eyes already looking up at him, it’s over.

jake deeply growls when he presses your face flat against his pelvis, cock shoved deeply down your throat as he pumps out his hot load, forcing you to swallow it all. (not that you wouldn’t have anyway.)

jake pulls you off of him with a wet pop, trying to it to ogle at how you lick his cum off your lips.

tucking himself back inside his pants, you look for your own clothes as jake finds a towel to wipe his hands and face off with, before tossing it in a nearby hamper.

“um,” jake starts, biting his lip as an awkward air takes over between you. “i am actually sorry, about…whatever i did that’s made you feel like i ruined it with heeseung for you.”

“it’s…it’s whatever. i’m sorry too, i kinda lost it.”

jake laughs softly, the sound breaking a little of the tension as he looks up to make direct eye contact. “i think we both did, but it’s okay. maybe we should just call it even?”

“sure,” you smile, combing your hair out of your face, trying to make it look like you didn’t just get eaten out and throat fucked in the locker room. (though you doubt anyone is around at this point, or at least you hope.)

“i’ll come around sometime to walk layla, just shoot me a text…and i really will answer this time.” you joke, jake taking the initiative to grab your cheer bag for you.

“sooo…do you still want me to be your tutor?”

“yeah! i do.” you answer simply, an annoying little voice in the back of your head saying that maybe chaeryeong was right, and you really did just need to fuck the frustration out of each other. even though there wasn’t actually any fucking…

“i still have something i’m wondering though,” you say as the two of you walk out of the locker room, jake letting you lead the way out of the stadium.

“what were you doing at basketball practice? on monday.”

“oh, well, normally heeseung comes with jay to our place and we game or something, after their practice. but i got off early and just decided to drop in.”

“where do you work?” you ask, looking over to jake and watching how he slightly swings your bag side to side as he walks.

“part time at the cafe, in the cafeteria…you haven’t seen me?” he asks jokingly, a faux pout on his lips.

“no.” you play along, answering ‘smugly’ as you lift your chin up, before giggling. “no, i usually have my lunch in the library.”

“oh, toooo…study?”

“i wish. if i spent that time studying i probably wouldn’t need a tutor,“ you admit with a bashful smile. “but usually i’m reading something.”

“oh! what do you like to read?”

“ah,” you whine, covering your face as you let out an embarrassed laugh. usually you’re undisturbed in the library, everyone else is typically there to study, have some alone time, or eat their lunch in a place that’s quiet. you’ve never had anyone ask you what you’re reading.

“it’s…embarrassing. i’m gonna sound boring.”

“what?” jake laughs, turning in front of you and walking backwards so he can fully look at you. “tell me, i’m dying to know now.”

“i mean, usually it’s about animal history-“

“right! biology major.” jake remembers.

“yup.” you nod. “buuut, sometimes i read biographies or like, theories.”

jake’s ears practically perk, but you don’t notice, pushing open a door before jake’s back can run into it.

“oh, thanks.” he says before returning to your side after the close call, deciding he’d rather not possibly fall right in front of you with your heavy cheer bag to land on top of him. “theories? what- what kind of theories?”

“right now i’m reading einstein’s.”

jake looks over to you with widened eyes, surprised because he’s never met anyone else that actually has an interest in stuff like that. he’s tried to rant to jay or heeseung about that kind of stuff, be he can tell they’re just replying on auto pilot, not really listening.

jake wonders how far you’ve read, what all you know. he’s practically tingling with excitement, about to ask you if you know about the team of scientists that disproved one of einstein’s theories when-

“well, i’m gonna get back to my dorm now,”you say just as you reach the campus sidewalk, street lamps lighting the path as dusk turns to darkness.

“i can walk you? it’s pretty late.” jake offers, already moving as though to go with you.

you feel your heart stop, a feeling you can only describe as ‘oh no’ burning a hole into the pit of your stomach.

“jake…earlier…it was just casual, yknow…”

jake stares at you, eyes round and capturing the lights in his dark pupils like stars in the sky. he stills, free hand going inside his pocket while the other still holds your bag.

“not that i’m assuming anything!” you hurry to add. “just thought i’d…clarify.”

“yeah…yeah, i know. i just- i just didn’t think it’d be a big deal to walk you home.”

“it’s not a big deal. that’s why i can do it myself.” you explain as nonchalantly as you can, but on the inside you feel like there’s needles pricking your skin, hairs all standing on end. you’re dying to be out of this situation, anxiety making you feel like prey, wanting to run, run, run.

“right! yeah, of course!”

you smile smoothly, leaning in to take your bag from his hand.

“i’ll see you at our next session, okay?”

“okay.” jake smiles softly, but you don’t look for too long, turning your back too soon, listening to the voice yelling in your head to leave.

you hear jake’s voice behind you as you walk down the paved path, his voice slightly carrying into the night.

“stay safe, pom-poms!”

you laugh, little and quiet to yourself as you whisper.

“jerk.”

(❤︎)

for the next week you’re busier than ever: tutor sessions, cheer practice, competition days, your usual studies and classes, taking layla on walks every now and then when jake is at work.

and yet, you’re thriving.

jake’s ‘hard work on you’— as he put it, is paying off.

you’re at your usual spot that you and jake have your sessions, his house.

the clock strikes 10 pm when you finally call it quits. layla (who’s been switching between sitting on your and jake’s feet from underneath the table) jumps up the second she hears the slam of your notebook and jake getting up to put away his study material.

“what is it, girl?” you laugh, watching the golden furred dog do an excited little wiggle dance in front of you.

she looks from you, to the front door, and back at you again.

“jake, i think she wants to go outside.”

uh-oh. you said her buzzword.

at the mention of ‘outside’, layla becomes twice as restless, whining and pawing at the front door with her claws.

“layla, no,” jake stops her, pulling her away from the door before she can scratch the wood.

“are you gonna take her?” you ask, jake turning his head to you as he continues to pat and scratch layla’s back, trying to sedate her.

“maybe just for a little bit, once you go home.”

“…i’ll go with you.” you offer, jake’s brows raising slightly in surprise.

“you don’t have to, y/n. i know we have a ‘deal’ but i don’t actually care if you-“

“i want to.” you shrug.

“you do?”

“yeah?”

“aren’t you tired?” jake asks, standing up and tilting his head at you.

you tilt yours back at him, a teasing smirk on your face. “i’m not. are you?”

jake takes one look at your smirk and falls into your trap, so easily persuaded by even the notion of a challenge. grabbing layla’s leash out of a nearby drawer in the kitchen, he hooks it onto layla’s collar and puts on his slides.

“lets go.” he smiles, you laughing at how his accent really pops out when he says the word ‘go’.

“what’s so funny?” he giggles with you despite not knowing why, watching as you hurriedly slip the shoes closest to you— which happen to be jake’s crocs that he never wears. they’re way too big, you putting them in ‘sport mode’ to try and combat the obvious size issue.

it doesn’t work. but despite that, they stay on.

“you look like a garden gnome,” jake laughs, letting you playfully slap him on the shoulder and watching how you bolt out the door a second later with a screech, like a kid playing tag.

“don’t run in them!! poms, you’re going to fall!” he yells, quickly grabbing a coat off the hook for you in case you get cold before he and layla hurry out the door and after you.

you walk around for about 15 minutes, eventually coming upon a gas station.

“…you hungry?”

you end up being the one to go inside the gas station while jake stays outside with layla, since dogs aren’t allowed in. he watches you closely the entire time though, staring at you while he stands right at the glass door entrance.

“i’m a big girl, you know.” you laugh once you walk back out, jake holding the door open for you. “im not gonna die if you’re not there to watch me.”

“i know, but gas stations at night just kinda freak me out.” jake whines, taking the plastic bag from your hands while you hold the two cups of hot ramen. you go and sit at a nearby bench that’s right beneath a window, the glow of the gas station’s light’s shining a light on the area around you.

“did you make it how i told you?” jake sing-songs as he ties layla’s leash to the bench’s leg, the dog taking the time to enjoy the break as she lays by his feet obediently.

“yes, i followed your obscenely specific instructions down to the very detail to make you the perfect ramen, jake.” you roll your eyes in faux annoyance, handing the cup of ramen to him, as well as a plastic fork.

“thank you.” he smiles coyly, taking the container from you.

“you’re welcome, princess.” you sigh jokingly.

you take a few bites of your ramen before speaking up again, as jake seems completely content to wordlessly munch on his food.

“so what are you and the boy’s gonna do this weekend?”

“mmm,” jake hums, swallowing before continuing. “i think we’re going over to felix’s.”

“oh.” you reply, picking up your drink to take a sip a second later.

even though it was chill when you last saw felix, you still feel a little awkward when his name comes up…or maybe it’s guilt you’re feeling.

“what’s up with that?” jake asks, looking at how your body language has changed to uncomfortable.

“what’s up with what?”

“…all of it, i guess.” jake specifies, and he sounds serious. like he really wants to know your history with felix.

you exhale and hope it doesn’t sound shaky, giving yourself a moment to take another bite of your food as you gather your thoughts. usually you might say ‘i don’t want to talk about it’ or ‘i don’t know’, but after hearing what jake said that first time you were over at your house…you want him to hear your side. even though your side doesn’t really excuse what you did.

“we…i liked him, freshman year. and he didn’t at first, but then he came around and eventually asked me out. and…he was honestly really great, he was a wonderful partner and i…really, really liked him.”

“so then…why? why’d you…”

“drop him?” you finish jake’s trailed of sentence for him.

he nods.

“i just…” you pause, looking down at your shoes and twisting the soles of them into the concrete. your heart wanes in realization that you’re about to talk about it. “sometimes i get really scared when- someone…cares about me? i don’t know. i don’t know how to describe it.”

“why does someone caring for you scare you?”

“i’m not sure. feeling…pressure? to be perfect, to keep them from leaving? or…scared of having someone that i care for so much, because…that means they could really hurt me.”

“when did that start?” jake asks softly, voice free of judgement, even pity— you think. just a gentle desire to understand.

“oh, i don’t know.” you laugh, though there’s no real humor behind it. you look down at layla and the way the light hits her fur, turning the tips a flaming gold. “parent stuff, friend stuff…i had a really shitty ex in high school.”

jake barks out a short laugh. “same, i think it’s a part of the teenage experience.”

“trauma builds character.” you say matter-of-factly, jake giggling as you can’t help but join him.

“i am sorry though, about what happened to you and that it’s made you feel this way. you didn’t deserve that.”

you bite your lip, staring at each other as your stomach twists from the soft timber of his voice and the gentleness of his words.

you look away.

“i know what i did to him was wrong. it doesn’t excuse it….”

“…no.” jake confirms. “but it does make sense. and it’s good that you know what the problem is now.”

“yeah,” you agree with a small smile, heart still heavy, but at the same time you do feel a bit better after talking about it.

“and i have gotten better. i still get scared, and sometimes i have unconscious bad habits, but i’ve gotten better at…telling my brain to shut up, when i realize.” you struggle to explain, but jake nods his head like he gets it.

your arms shiver slightly, from the cool night air or the adrenaline rush after voicing your feelings— you’re not sure.

jake unties the jacket from around his waist and lays it over your shoulders, but your goosebumps remain.

(❤︎)

as you walk into physics class you take a small glance at jake, offering a quick smile as you pass by him at his usual spot in front row before you go and sit down towards the middle.

there’s already someone sitting to your right, so you’re about to sit your bag on the left seat for chae (who’s apparently running late) when jake abruptly appears and takes the spot.

you’re staring at him with a confused ‘what the fuck’ face as he finishes opening his backpack and placing his things down, putting on his glasses so he can see the professor and their material from far away before turning to smile at you.

“hi,” he whispers.

you try to change your expression to a more casual one, seeing that he for some reason decided to change his usual seating arrangements to sit next to you, and that seems to be his only prerogative.

“hey…” you whisper back, turning to face the front after.

the professor begins the class, but you can’t focus. jake keeps trying to help you, leaning close to add on to what the professor is saying, then he notices the eraser on your pencil is almost gone and gives you a new one. but worst of all, when you tilt your head to write something down, hair cascading like a curtain over your face, jake gently moves to tuck your hair behind your ear, smiling sweetly at you when you glance at him.

you’re not confused anymore. you think you know exactly what’s going on and you’re…you don’t know what to do. everything suddenly feels like it’s spiraling into a mess and you desperately want to feel like you’re in control of it again.

so you cross your legs and lean in jake’s direction, taking it slow and simply brushing up against his pant leg.

jake’s eyes look down but quickly move back up to the front of the class, maybe assuming it’s on accident, though his expression does look slightly frazzled.

you want to mess him up more.

thankful for the table that’s about to cover your sins, you place your hand right above jake’s knee.

he fully acknowledges you now, snapping his head to give you a confused look, trying and failing to hide how flustered he is thanks to his blushing ears.

you tilt your head to indicate confusion, your ‘innocent’ act not fooling him at all as you creep your hand farther up his leg, to the meatier part of his thigh. the higher you go, the pinker his cheeks grow, looking more and more adorable.

you feel like a predator that’s caught her prey when you squeeze and his body jerks, hair falling into his eyes before he shakes it away and adjusts his glasses.

you feel like your pupils dilate at the action, watching jake sitting there and not even telling you to stop, letting you touch him in class where anyone could catch you. he’s dressed like the smart boy he is today, his polo shirt and kaki pants paired with oval framed glasses almost giving a nerdy virgin vibe. it makes you really wet, especially since you’re so close to his cock, which you never got to touch with your hands.

a bulge is starting to grow in his pants and you let your fingers barely graze over it as you start massaging his thigh.

“y-y/n?” he speaks so softly you would miss it if it weren’t for how close you sit together.

“hm?”

you glance up at him casually, like you’re fingers aren’t narrowly avoiding his cock right now, and it’s driving him crazy.

it’s making him desperate.

you’re in the middle of class and yet he’s dying for you to just touch his dick already.

he’s debating between if he should ask or not when you finally put your whole hand over his bulge. he stops a whine from bubbling up his throat as your touch is still feather light, not even giving him the grace of more pressure. pushing his hips up into your palm, you pull away, bringing your hands back into your lap and attention back on the professor.

“what? b- baby-“

“what, nerd?” you say with a little bite, and the name has jake twitching in his pants.

“pl- please? can you keep…touching me?”

“we’re in class, jake.” you say, pretending to be mildly annoyed, as if you weren’t the one who started all this.

a tiny noise escapes from jake’s throat, squeezing his eyes shut as he clenches his thighs, trying to relieve the pulsing of his own dick as blood rushes down south.

“jake!” you scold with a harsh whisper, genuinely surprised by how shameless he’s getting.

“please, y/n.” he struggles out, voice whiney. “i need you.”

your breath turns shakey, the facade of being unaffected crumbling as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on. granting him mercy, you bring your hand back down to fully grope his bulge, eyes growing wide as you’re reminded of how big he is.

“fuck.” you sigh, jake giving a twitchy thrust at your voice.

“dirty boy.” is all you say before facing the class again, really trying not to get caught now as your touches turn into you basically jacking him off over his pants.

jake humps into your hand as subtly as he can, almost missing how the professor’s asking him a question if it weren’t for how you pinch his thigh to break him out of it.

“w-what?” jake asks, sounding far from intelligent.

“i said, what is the speed of darkness, mr. sim.”

“oh- um,”

your hand goes right back to jacking him off, stopping at the tip of his dick to massage over it. jake swallows down a cry.

“i expected this to be easy, especially for you, mr. sim.”

“it- it has none.” he croaks out, voice almost raising in his efforts to avoid his building orgasm, the panic almost making him reach that point faster. “darkness is the absence of light, so it doesn’t h- have any speed.”

“correct! dark is simply the absence of photons which means-“

“i’m gonna cum.” jake says as quietly as possible, leaning back in his chair and pushing his face into the side of your arm, hiding his face. “y/n, m’gonna!”

you stop your hand and push him off of you, sitting up straighter as you whisper “after class”, leaving jake trembling in his chair, panting under his breath and too desperate to argue.

it feels like an eternity has passed when class ends, you getting up immediately and jake rushing to follow you. you lead him out into the hallway, hurrying up and opening a closet door before the crowds of other students fill the halls. jake practically moans when you grab him by the shirt and shove him inside, shutting the door behind you. it’s dark as you feel for the light switch, unable to find it.

“fuck, where’s the lights?”

you hear a click and the small closet is dimly illuminated, jake standing right in front of you with wide, shiny eyes, holding a string that’s connected to the one lightbulb that lights the space, which you now can see is a janitor’s closet.

“oh, thank you.” you say normally, like your panties aren’t soaking wet, before pushing him against the wall, almost knocking over a mop bucket as you intensely make out with jake.

the boy lets you swallow down his long moan of relief, needy hands grasping at your hips and already trying to rut against your leg.

“you really that desperate? can’t help but hump your big cock against me?”

jake whimpers, looking at you with big, pretty brown eyes as he wordlessly begs you.

“maybe you aren’t that smart of a nerd. can’t even talk? does your dick getting some attention make you that dumb?”

“yes! yes, yes, m’ so dumb. so stupid for you. please make me cum? it hurts, baby, please?”

“fuck me.” you order. “then you can cum.”

jake takes a second to process your words before he’s stripping himself bare.

“can- can you take off everything, please? wanna feel all of you.” he asks adorably, and you grant him his wish, albeit— you have to tease him. you peel off your clothes so slowly, jake watching every inch of your skin being revealed like he’s never seen a woman’s body before, hands clenching at his sides with the need to touch you.

“please, please, please.” he chants under his breath, almost to himself unconsciously.

“c’mere, jakey.” you coo, him hugging himself up to you a millisecond later.

he’s whimpering and slobbering into your neck as he attempts to give you kisses in his messy state of mind. you start to giggle until his cock catches at the entrance of your pussy and causes you to let out a whine, jake getting more excited (if it’s possible) after feeling how wet you are for him.

“y/n, please.” he blubbers, resting his forehead against yours.

“you can go inside, baby. fuck me, touch me. i don’t care anymore, just give me your cock.”

jake slowly pushes himself inside, the both of you moaning in relief before jake starts fucking into you slowly.

his face is sweating, glasses sliding down his nose bridge as he tries to give you time to adjust fully to his length. you’re so tight, looking so pretty while your eyes are squeezed shut, head leaning back against the wall as you’re stretched out around his dick. jake peppers little kisses all over the exposed expanse of your neck, you letting out happy little noises at his careful care and the feeling of him inside you.

“you okay, babygirl?”

“yeah, jakey. you can go deeper.”

slowly, jake pushes in as far as he can go, hips flush against yours. his cock is long, reaching places that haven’t been reached in a long time, but still…

“no,” you tremble, knowing it can be even better. “hold on.”

pushing his chest off of you a little to give more space, you lift your right leg and hook it around his shoulder, your other still firmly on the ground.

“okay, keep going.” you almost beg, desperate to be fucked into the wall.

“holy shit…” jake marvels, thrusting as deeply into you as he possibly can go, the new angle making his tip press into your cervix.

“oh my god!” he almost growls as his control slips from his grasp, hips gaining speed as he starts to pound into you. the rough quality of his previously sweet tone has you clenching, making him lose it even more. “you’re so fucking flexible.”

“m- m’a cheerleader.” is all you can manage to get out and explain when jake is fucking you so hard, making you feel so good. the slapping noises of jake’s thrusts and your wet pussy isn’t quiet, but you’re too cock drunk to worry about it, and jake is too lost in the way your needy cunt takes him so well.

“damn right, you are, baby.”

forcing your eyes to focus an jake’s intense gaze as he watches every one of your minute expressions, you see how his glasses rest lop sided on his face, releasing the grip you have on jake’s strong shoulders to fix them.

there’s a shift in jake’s eyes after you do this, and you’re beginning to feel as though he’s looking right through your skin and into your soul. then jake’s big hands wrap tightly around your back, stretching your leg further as you’re pressed flush against him and the wall. his rhythm turns erratic as your moans get louder, the hot air in the small space too thick for you to catch your breath.

“sweet girl, with an even sweeter little cunt, yeah?” he drawls, accent turning thicker as he licks into your mouth and presses sloppy kisses onto your lips in between words. “taking my cock like a champ, baby. taking me like a good girl.”

“please, jake. need to cum.” you cry weakly, looking up at him with glassy eyes.

“cum for me, sweetheart. make me all messy.”

you obey his words with a muffled cry as he cradles your head into his neck, trying to make sure no one hears your sounds of pleasure.

he tries his best to hold on long enough to fuck you through your high before he pulls out, fisting his own cock.

you don’t want to miss it, falling on your weak knees and opening your mouth to stick out your tongue, looking up at him and begging with your eyes for him to give it to you.

jake can’t even speak as his hands moves in a blur, the only cognitive thought in his mind how pretty you look kneeling for him, begging for his cum, before he’s unloading into your mouth.

you take it all, swallowing and leaning forward to suck on his tip like a lollipop after, licking him clean.

once jake is able to get himself together and your legs feel a little less like jello, who helps you stand and get dressed.

you laugh once you’re both fully clothed, watching jake clean his glasses lens with his shirt.

“what?” jake smiles tiredly, straightening his polo. “do i look normal?” and like we didn’t just fuck in the janitor’s closet?

“no,” you giggle, shaking your head as you reach up to comb through his very tousled hair. “okay, that’s better.”

“thank you.” jake smiles tenderly, making that funny feeling in your stomach present again before he presses a quick kiss to your lips. “i’ll text you, baby.”

“o-….okay…” you mumble, jake giggling as he thinks your dazed look is just because you’re still a little fucked dumb.

“you want me to slip out first?”

“um, yeah.” you answer, watching jake peek out the door before flashing you one more sweet smile before he’s out, shutting the door behind him.

you don’t know what you’re going to do.

(❤︎)

“dude, just ask her out already.” jay says as he lays down to spread out on jake’s bed like a star fish.

“i am!” jake insists, accepting that he’s probably not going to get anymore studying done when jay’s in his bedroom yapping away. shutting his laptop, jake swivels his desk chair around and quirks a brow at how jay lays on his bed like he owns it.

“then do it! what are you waiting for?”

“i just don’t want to overwhelm her, i think if i move too fast it’ll scare her. but…i think I’m gonna ask her tonight.”

jay sits up on his elbows. “you’re inviting her?” he asks, referring to the game night the boys were planning to have with heeseung at their place.

“yeah. i’ve already asked her, she says she can come after some cheer event she’s doing today.”

“wow…” jay sighs, now looking a little surprised as he processes.

“what?”

“i can’t believe you got a cheerleader girlfriend before me or heeseung.”

jake starts to be offended before he smirks, standing up from his chair and combing his hair out of his face.

“that’s because i’m sexy and smart. now take the L and help me clean up before she gets here.”

(❤︎)

it’s 8:00 pm when you finally get to jake and jay’s house, jake waiting for you by the door.

“hi, how was the event?”

“it was good. they had us outside all day but the weather wasn’t too warm.”

“good!” jake smiles as he opens the door for you and leads you to the living room. “ready to beat these guys in a game with me?”

“i really suck at video games, jake.” you laugh just as you walk into the room, seeing jay and heeseung sitting at the sofa.

jake sees heeseung’s eyes light up when he sees you, and jake feels a bit annoyed— then guilty. heeseung doesn’t know about you and jake, the australian not having time to tell him about your ‘thing’ before you showed up.

“hey, y/n! come sit.” jay invites.

you move to sit down on the couch, the only space available being next to heeseung. jake sits against your legs, his cuddly nature making you blush and feel a little self conscious while in front of everyone else, moving your legs to criss-cross them on the cushion instead.

something about being at their house with heeseung over again, in this room, makes you think about what you’ve been trying not to this entire time: what jake said.

do they all think you’re a player?

do they know about you and jake’s hookups?

if the answer is yes, then they probably also think you’re just with jake to get in his pants, to chew him up and spit him out.

but what do you really want?…and what…what does jake want?

you’ve felt off since the classroom incident, and you thought maybe hanging out casually would make you feel better, but it seems to only be making it worse.

“y/n?”

heeseung concerned voice snaps you out of your head and you look at him. he’s holding out a gaming controller for you, and you take it, the object feeling a bit big in your hands.

“here,” jake offers gently, turning around from his place on the floor as he positions your hands over the controller. “it’ll probably be easier for you to hold it like this.”

“thanks.” you say unconsciously soft, probably because of the proximity between you and jake’s faces.

he smiles that cute smile at you again, the one that makes his eyes sparkle, and you feel legitimately sick.

“do you want me to explain the game to you?” heeseung offers.

“i can,” jake starts to interrupt, but you stop him as you gesture for him to sit back down.

“it’s fine, jake. hee’s right here.”

you hope the excuse of heeseung sitting right next to you is a good enough excuse for why you don’t want jake coddling over you. you just…you can’t think clearly with him near right now.

once you start the multi player game and you go for a few rounds, heeseung starts getting kinda touchy with you. first letting his thighs touch yours, which is probably unconscious. the sofa is rather squishy and deep, it’s easy to sink into it— and thus, you. but then he starts smiling at you a lot and praising you whenever you do something right. you try not to encourage heeseung’s treatment while also ignoring how jake keeps turning to take peeks at you together.

very unexpectedly, you find a few advantage items and end up winning a round, heeseung throwing up his arms in excitement while jay loudly cheers.

“that was awesome, y/n!” heeseung says before wrapping you in an unexpected hug. you smile proudly at yourself, returning his quick hug.

“y/n and i will go get some drinks.” jake abruptly announces in a low tone before grabbing your arm and pulling you away from heeseung.

“jake. jake! why are you pulling me?” you say as he continues down the hall, not looking or speaking to you until you get to the kitchen.

“what was that?” he asks demandingly after spinning around to face you, eyes hard and looking at you angrily.

“what was what?”

“you and heeseung!”

“there is no me and heeseung, jake.” you sigh, rubbing your temples as you feel a headache coming on. this whole evening has honestly been nothing but stressful, and you’re starting to regret coming.

“well it sure looked like you were a thing…i thought we…”

he trails off and your heart full on stops, eyes wide as you stare at jake.

“you thought…what?” you ask, scared out of your mind.

“i like you.” jake says softly, looking up from the floor to gaze at you with hopeful eyes. “and i think…i think you like me too, right?”

you take a few deep breaths, brows furrowing as panic and fear take over the rational part of your brain.

“you sure you want to like the ‘typical dumb cheerleader’?” you air quote, jake’s face falling as your eyes already start to sting.

“oh my god, you heard that? baby, i’m so, so sorry. i-…i don’t think that now, i was being an asshole.”

despite how hard you try to keep them at bay, to blink them back, to keep the angry facade up— you can’t. your walls finally crumble down as you cry into your hands, letting the ache that’s been slowly growing in your heart over these past few weeks take over your whole chest.

“you- you don’t still think i’m a h- heartbr- break-“

you can’t even get a full sentence out between your crying and gasps of air, jake coming closer with open arms to wrap you in a hug, to squeeze you against his warm chest.

“no, no, no. sweet girl, oh my god.” he says almost like it’s to himself, before he’s culling your damp cheeks.

“c’mon, baby. look at me?” he coos sadly, and you do, putting aside your shame and lifting your face, watching his regretful eyes flit over your teary orbs and broken expression.

“i am so sorry that the harsh, untruthful words i said hurt you so badly, and i’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to apologize. i was legitimately an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it. i had you pinned down in my head of who i thought you were and i treated you differently because of it, when i didn’t even bother getting to know you. and i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

jake tries to wipe away the tears that slip down your cheeks as you try to calm down, still hurt but feeling better after his words.

“you- you don’t think i’m a bad person? because- because i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did.” you dare to ask.

“no!” jake states firmly. “no, baby. you’re not and i don’t think that. i think you’re kind and generous. hardworking and smart. beautiful and funny and so, so easy to fall for.”

“jake…” you whisper, cheeks burning as you attempt to hide you face in his chest. but jake doesn’t let you, cupping your jaw in his palms as he nuzzles his nose against yours.

“do you like me, poms?” he whispers nervously, breath fanning over your lips as you feel like you’re about to drown from the depth of emotions he manages to hold in his eyes.

“i…i do, jake. i really, really like you.”

jake smiles, teeth biting at his bottom lip to try and contain it.

“but,” you’re quick to say when jake starts to lean in, halting his actions. “i…i need time…to think. i…”

“it’s okay, y/n. you don’t have to explain it to me. i’ll wait for you.” jake whispers, staring forlornly at your lips, but not moving. “even if you tell me not to, i’d still wait for you.”

your heart skips a beat and you pull away, afraid you’ll lose your resolve and dive into his kiss if you don’t.

“okay. i’ll…i’ll see you, jake.”

“see you, y/n.” jake smiles, but despite trying his best, it doesn’t make it to his eyes. you walk out of the kitchen before fleeing from his house, speeding to your dorm and collapsing onto your bed and bursting into sobs.

(❤︎)

3 days.

3 days, going on four, since you’ve spoken to jake. you know he’s trying really hard not to overwhelm you, to resist coming over and talking to you, but you still catch staring at you in class when he thinks you don’t notice.

you do.

you notice him, always.

you want to go to him, you miss him so much. but it’s feels like there’s chains of fear wrapped around your heart, weighing you down and tugging you away from him.

you’re walking across campus in the afternoon to go back to your dorm, feeling like a zombie like you have been since you last spoke to jake.

you run into something with stops your lazy, slow steps, looking up to see felix staring wide at you.

“oh, y/n! hey!”

“h-hi! sorry, lix.” you apologize for running into him, trying to sound at least half as chipper as him.

“that’s alright. so, jay told me about you and jake,” he implores in a teasing way, nudging your arm with his elbow as he smiles. “how’s that going?”

it takes you a few seconds to feel the pain in your heart at simply hearing his name before you start crying, felix almost flinching back in surprise as you try to wipe your tears away as quickly as they come.

“i’m- i’m so sorry, felix. i’m a mess right now.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay, y/n. why don’t we sit down and you can tell me about it.”

felix wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder and leads you to sit down at a nearby bench. taking a gentle hold of your hand, he encourages you to tell him what happened.

and you do, you tell him everything. from the very beginning to the very end.

“i just- i don’t know what to do, felix. i like him so much it scares me. i’ve never let- let somebody get this close to me this fast before.” you sniffle. “and i just- i can’t stop thinking about how much it would hurt this time, because- because i think if i let myself be with him, i’ll never want to leave.”

“oh, y/n.” felix sighs, pulling you in for a hug. “don’t you see? jake is an amazing guy, and you like him. which isn’t a reason to leave, it’s a reason to stay, to keep going and not give up. don’t you get it?”

he asks, looking you in the eyes as you feel his words click something into place in your brain. it isn’t a reason to leave, it’s why you should stay.

“don’t give him up, y/n.” felix urges softly. your heart squeezes with undeniable fondness, reaching forward to wrap the boy in a tight hug of your own.

“you’re right. thank you, felix.”

“it’s okay, y/n. go get your man.” he smiles genuinely.

“and felix?” you begin as you pull away to look him in the eyes.

“yeah?”

“i’m sorry, lixie.” you apologize, and he knows what for.

“i know, y/n.” felix’s voice wavers at the unexpected sentiment, but his sunshine disposition still remains. “i’m happy now. we’re okay. all is forgiven.”

you know it’s not a good enough apology despite his words, but you’ll find another time to properly say sorry, to give him the apology he deserves. but for now, you give him one more tight squeeze before running off to find jake.

he’s not working at the cafe today, all his classes are usually over by now and there’s no basketball practice for him to tag along to, so the only other place you can think to go look is his house.

when you messily park in the driveway and knock at the door, it’s a bewildered jay that answers.

“oh, y/n! he’s- jake’s walking layla right now.”

“do you know which direction he went?”

jay points and you take off down his neighborhood sidewalk, jay watching you disappear around a corner with his jaw slightly open in confusion, finger still raised, before he shrugs his shoulders and goes back inside with a mumbled little ‘whatever’ to himself.

your running turned to jogging, and now you’re sluggishly walking, your exhaustion and the sight of the sun setting making you lose hope as you stare down at your own feet that lazily step on the pavement.

what if jake doesn’t even want you anymore? did you already mess it up?

an echoed voice carries down the street and you lift your head, the tone of it sounding familiar. turning the corner one more time, your heart feels like it’s been brought back to life when you see jake and layla in the distance.

jake crouches in front of layla, the dog looking bored and tiredly panting as he raises his hand to scratch behind her ears, giving her a sad little smile.

“sorry, girl…i know. i miss her too.”

something tugs you forward, those heavy chains that were previously around your heart broken and unable to hold you back anymore.

“jake!” you call, jake looking up to your approaching figure.

“y/n?”

your slow steps turn to running when jake opens his arms, practically catching you with how you leap into his embrace.

“y/n?” he repeats, looking deep into your eyes like he can’t believe he’s feeling your smaller body in his arms right now, seeing you so up close again.

you wrap your arms around his neck and crash your lips into his, jake immediately kissing you back with just as much fever. your tongues lick into each other’s mouth like you haven’t tasted the other in ages, jake raising a hand to cup your cheek and press you impossible closer.

“jake,” you gasp in air after fighting to part from jake’s eager lips.

“sweetheart.” jake practically coos, eyes half-lidded and sounding love drunk as he spares you only a moment before he’s kissing you again.

“jake!” you pull away again, your attempt to sound scolding failing due to your little giggles that give your true emotions away. but how can you not when jake’s ticklish butterfly kisses are being peppered across your neck.

“let me talk!”

“hurry.” jake whines, pressing to more pecks to your lips.

“i- i wanna stay! i want to be with you.”

“i wanna be with you too, babygirl.” jake whispers fondly, staring into your eyes and how they capture the sunset’s shining rays. it’s the prettiest sunset he’s ever seen, viewing it in this way. “does this mean you’ll be mine?”

“i think i’ve been yours for a while already, jakey.”

jake’s like a kid at a candy store with your lips right in front of him. you’re unable to enjoy his absolutely gorgeous smile from your words for more than a second before his lips are attached to yours again, capturing you in another passionate kiss.

you whine into it, pushing at his chest much to jake’s displeasure.

“but i’m probably still gonna get scared sometimes.”

“i know, baby.”

a kiss.

“and- and i’m good at communicating but-“

another.

“sometimes i need encouragement.”

“i can do that, sweetheart.” he promises with another deep kiss. you push him away again.

“but, jake?”

he smiles with a defeated groan, leaning his head onto your shoulder before he looks at you.

“yeah, sweetie?”

“what if i…did try? to run away again.” you ask, not because you think you will, but because you want to know his answer.

he answers easily, like it’s a no brainer for him.

“then i’d chase after you every time.”

“…promise?”

“i promise.”

(❤︎)

jake doesn’t even take layla’s leash off when you bust through the front door, barely taking the time to shut it behind him before he’s picking you up, giggling at your adorable squeal and how your legs wrap around his waist without thinking.

you don’t even stop kissing as he blindly carries and maneuvers you around the house, feeling for his bedroom door knob with his one hand and opening it successfully.

he walks forward until he feels the frame of his bed against his shins and sets you down gently, finally detaching from your lips to gaze at you and how gorgeous you look laying in his bed, staring up at him with so much cb affection in your eyes that it has his cock twitching.

“what?” you smile, feeling a little squirmy under his gaze, but you remain still.

“nothing…you’re just so beautiful.”

your cheeks burn, biting at your smile as you move to take off your clothes. jake rushes to do the same, though it takes him a little longer as he has to stop every few moments to watch you strip.

you rub your thighs together with a moan as you see jake’s throbbing length, it’s pretty pink tip shining with his excitement.

“oh my god, baby. i don’t wanna go a day without you ever again. seeing you, talking to you, kissing you, fucking you. shit, m’gonna make you take my cock every day from now on.”

“please, jake, just put it in.” you whine, spreading open your legs and causing jake’s eyes to almost pop out of his skull.

“damn, baby.” he marvels, kneeling up on the bed as he comes closer to you, caressing his hands up and down your thighs as he stares at your pussy.

“jaaake, fuck me!”

“be patient, babygirl.” he warns with a small yet stinging slap to your thigh. “i will. but i gotta taste you first.”

he makes a spot for himself between your legs, laying on his belly before spreading open your pussy with his two, long fingers. clear slick webs between, jake shuddering out a heated ‘fuck’ before going in to lick it up with his tongue.

“oh god,” you whimper, raising your hands to your face, embarrassed by how wet you already are and how jake’s slurping every bit of it into his mouth.

“mmm,” jake hums disapprovingly, departing from your pussy only for a moment. “dont don’t do that. wanna watch my baby’s face while i eat her out.”

then jake goes back down to slowly push his tongue inside your entrance, your thighs twitching with the unexpected intrusion.

“j-jake!” you cry as he falls into a rhythm, rubbing your sopping clit while he fucks you with his tongue, big brown eyes staring you down as you find yourself unable to look away.

“o- oh, ffuck!”

your hands grip up the sheets into a fist, toes curling as jake’s incessant licking into your cunt and the perfect little circles he rubs into your clit makes you come more and more undone.

jake groans in pleasure at your own, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core and causing your entire body to flinch as you cry out.

“i- i think m’gonna cum already if you don’t stop, jake.” you whine, voice high pitched and unlike yourself.

the boy doesn’t stop. in fact, he goes deeper, curling the tip of his tongue into the spongy part of you.

you cum with a cry, legs trembling and squeezing around jake’s head as he happily cleans you up with his mouth.

“mmm, such a messy cunt, baby. taste so good.” jake sighs as he repositions to hover over you body, one hand stroking over his dick as he spreads your left over juices from his fingers across it.

he reaches across to his night stand, you presume to get out a condom.

“don’t. want- want you to fuck me raw, please? m’on the pill.”

“…holy shit.” jake murmurs, wide eyed.

he leans on his elbows, dipping closer to your face as you watch how his eyes roam over your every feature, taking in your beauty in the same way as you’re taking in his right now.

“my pretty girl, my good girl...” he gives you that smile that used to make you sick, but now it has butterflies in your stomach and your pussy clenching.

“mine.” jake whispers proudly, rubbing his nose against yours as he pushes inside of you slowly.

“how-“ you struggle, interrupted by your and jake’s moans as his dick is sucked in by your greedy cunt. “how do you talk so sweet when- when you’re doing bad things?”

jake just responds with an out of breath chuckle, bracing himself with a hand to your hip, groping and squeezing at your soft flesh.

as he starts thrusting into you, deep and slow, you feel like all the air has been knocked out of you.

you don’t know why, maybe it’s the angle or how he’s looking at you, maybe it’s because you just came or the emotional high of being reunited. all you know is that it only takes a few minutes for you to be trembling and whimpering into jake’s sheets as he fucks you dumb.

jake’s latched onto your tits— of course, moaning and whining as he slobbers all over your chest like your nipples taste like candy. and they might as well be, because to jake they’re that good.

“mmm, jakey, please. please. m’so close.”

jake is no better off than you, sweat glistening on his skin and his hips start to erratically buck into yours, his pants and your whimpers filling his bedroom.

“yeah, baby? my cock make you feel good?”

“y- yes!”

“y’gonna let me have this cunt every day, sweetheart? take my cum every day?”

“yes, baby, yes!” you either against the sheets, twisting your head to the side from the overwhelming pleasure as you try to hold back your oncoming orgasm, waiting for his permission. “gotta cum, jakey.”

“no, no, sweetie. gotta look at me first, babygirl.” he gently orders in a way that makes your stomach flip, holding your chin between his thumb and fingers before turning your head back to look at him. he brushes your hair out of your face, greeted with your glossy eyes and pouty lips, begging for him to have mercy.

“there she is. there’s my little girl.” he trembles out, biting his bottom lip and forcing his eyes to stay open and look at you, even as the pleasure gets too much. “look so cute while you’re falling apart on my cock.”

“pl-please…jake! need- need’ta-“

“let go, sweetheart. cum with me, baby.”

jake seals your lips with a kiss to suppress the cry you let out as you reach your highs together, trembling bodies holding out for as long as you can to ride out your orgasm.

jake collapses on the bed and cuddles you into his chest, hands brushing through your hair and making sure none of it is in your face.

jake’s phone dings with a text, and he leans over to pick it up. you watch his pretty, brown eyes as he reads the screen, before his lips quirk up in a smirk.

“what?” you ask.

“jay…he‘a asking if we’re done fucking yet.”

“oh my god!” you whine with embarrassment, burying your face into jake’s chest even further as he giggles.

“it’s okay. he said he figured he should put on some noise canceling headphones and make himself scarce when you came by looking for me.”

“still embarrassing…” you mumble, jake cupping your face to lift your head up and press a kiss to your forehead, then your lips.

“m’so glad you found me.” he confesses softly. you smile.

“i think we found each other.”

“mmm,” jake hums, resting his forehead against yours, looking at you like he can’t get enough of you. you’re sure you look the same.

“never gonna be able to go without my dumb little cheerleader girlfriend again.” he smiles teasingly, referencing to his previous harsh words he said about you.

it’s so funny how things can change when you really get to know someone. when you give them a chance.

“and i’m never gonna be able to go without my nerdy little boyfriend again.”

“hey,” he laughs, no real feelings other than happiness behind it. jake sits up on his elbows, caging you in to press a sweet, long kiss to your lips.

he pulls away just enough to be able to look into your eyes as he whispers.

“that was mean, pom-poms.”

you huff, shaking your head with a smile as your hands move to run through his hair, pulling him in for probably the hundredth and definitely not last kiss of the night.

“jerk.”

note) wow, you made it through! i really hope you enjoyed reading my baby 😭

i tried to make reader a lovable character with layers that some might find relatable/comforting, and that she didn’t seem like a pick me. so i hope that came across. the subject of being afraid of emotional intimacy while at the same time desperately wanting it is something that i struggle with myself. also the anxiety of letting someone see you wholly for who you are, and them still loving you. it’s horrific and scary but beautiful if you only let yourself be vulnerable enough.

the reason i ended it with reader still having anxieties and even saying ‘what if i try to run away again’. is because it’s not happily ever after once you’ve found your person, and reader’s problems aren’t going to magically go away because she ‘got the guy’. she’ll keep learning and growing and making mistakes. but the difference is she has someone in her corner who will be with her through it. hence jake saying ‘then i’ll chase after you’.

at some points i thought the dialogue might seem cheesy, but this is based in the way that i/my friends talk and conversations that i’ve had. so…take that how you want. maybe me and my circle is cheesy lol.

pleaaassseee leave a review/ask/comment- whatever. as i said this is my baby and im curious to see whatever you have to say about this work, what it made you feel or think about, and also answer any questions!! i have these characters pretty fleshed out so i’d like to think i have the answers lol.

thank you again for reading!! — jaz

---

asking bf!enhypen if you can add a random song to your sex playlist

warnings : fake texts, suggestive, mentions of death (jays), jealousy (jays)

---