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dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

“an ode to everything everywhere all at once”

You know what I think? It’s cold, unlovable bitches like us make the world go round. EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022)

Ada Limón

Joan Didion writes, in On Keeping a Notebook, that the purpose of keeping a notebook, or a journal for that matter, isn’t because you simply want keep a personal record of things; but because you want to remember the person you were at that specific moment. we write things down on our notebook/journal/diary (whichever one of those you keep) because we want to remember. we want to remember what specific people meant to us on a particular day or hour. or minute. we want to remember our first impression of something (or of doing that something), possibly of someone, too. sometimes we think we’ll “always remember” important events: “I’ll make a mental note of that” etc etc. but in reality everything is fleeting. so Didion says write it down. keep a journal. that way, people, places, and certain events will always be there in case you ever want to come back to them sometime in the future. but also so that they don’t ever haunt you.

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022)

some articles i enjoyed recently (faves are bolded) 

the genesis of blame, london review of books

the narcissism of queer influencer activists, gawker

there’s no moral imperative to be miserable, james greig

the cult of the imperfect, umberto eco

susanna clarke’s world of interiors, the new yorker

your camera roll contains a masterpiece, the new yorker

are you a baby? a litmus test, haley nahman on substack

prestige television and the moral life, article & podcast ep

how tv became respectable without getting better, current affairs

the cultural revisionism history, gawker

have we forgotten how to read critically?, dame magazine

found images, real life mag

nostalgia for nostalgia, real life mag

on internet & technology

google search is dying, dkb on substack

what lies beneath, real life mag

how the tiktok algorithm figures out your deepest desires, the wall street journal

the great offline, real life mag

nameless feeling, real life mag

i’m not there, real life mag

Well maybe if you were a little more open to the mystery of life

i needed to read this

via yumi sakugawa

it can never be a mistake to try. despite despite despite

humans are animals. on a biological level, human beings are highly evolved mammals with complex social structures and well-developed brains. we eat, we sleep, we fuck. we raise our young and form tribes and fight for scarce goods. but i think that we are interesting because we are unparalleled in our ability to cause immense ripples in the universe, to leave a mark in our worlds and the worlds’ of others. we have the ability to cause outstanding pain, to tear each other apart with our words and rip out each other’s hearts. we are animals at our cores. but i think this fact makes our small kindnesses that much more meaningful, our moments of relief and pointless morals and ardent generosity all the more special. i have seen incredible hurt in this world, and i have also seen such genuine curiosity, gentleness, and connection. maybe it’s naive of me, but i think that most people do not want to cause harm. if given the chance, most people will choose kindness — to say thank you to the waiter, to pull their legs in when you walk through an aisle, to follow traffic lights and form lines even when it would be easier to cut. i think at our core, we want to do good, to try. i think that all of the pain and anger and hurt and violence only makes our amazing capacity for kindness that much more meaningful, that much more wonderful. in a senseless, brutal world, the fact that someone is helping a stranger pick up their spilled groceries or making silly faces for a baby is something to be cherished. something real. maybe, just maybe, it isn’t all bad.

kindness? what kindness? how?

venetta octavia “burning” // benjamin alire sáenz “aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe” // the mountain goats “sept 15 1983” // @twinnedpeaks “from the peel” // “whisper of the heart” dir. yoshifumi kondō // mccafferty “alligator skin boots” // mary oliver “dogfish” // jaymes young “i’ll be good” // gillian flynn “sharp objects” // stephen universe “love like you” // julian k. jarboe “everyone on the moon is essential personnel” // cassandra troyan “kill manual”

I lost every friendship I ever had and it still hurts.

1. Finneas O’Connell / 2. Ocean Vuong / 3. adampvrrish / 4. Otessa Moshfegh / 5. Fairycosmos / 6. Richard Siken / 7. frenchtoastlesbian

my father couldn’t warm my frozen hands

Keep reading

from ‘Bright Dead Things’ by Ada Limón

Dogfish, by Mary Oliver

i don’t pretend to know the exact contours of your life. but i know the shape of pain, of loss. i know the feeling of staring your past in its eyes and being crushed under its icy gaze, under the weight of all of the decisions you haven’t made and the consequences of the ones you have. i know the gut wrenching feeling of putting your faith in the world and being let down once again. these feelings are as universal as music and art and sharing bread with the ones you love. maybe the great challenge of being human is finally understanding that we are not alone in this.

#95: Are you a baby? A litmus test - Haley Nahman

some articles i enjoyed recently (faves are bolded) 

the genesis of blame, london review of books

the narcissism of queer influencer activists, gawker

there’s no moral imperative to be miserable, james greig

the cult of the imperfect, umberto eco

susanna clarke’s world of interiors, the new yorker

your camera roll contains a masterpiece, the new yorker

are you a baby? a litmus test, haley nahman on substack

prestige television and the moral life, article & podcast ep

how tv became respectable without getting better, current affairs

the cultural revisionism history, gawker

have we forgotten how to read critically?, dame magazine

found images, real life mag

nostalgia for nostalgia, real life mag

on internet & technology

google search is dying, dkb on substack

what lies beneath, real life mag

how the tiktok algorithm figures out your deepest desires, the wall street journal

the great offline, real life mag

nameless feeling, real life mag

i’m not there, real life mag

i think these go hand in hand <3

— “small kindnesses” by danusha laméris

— ross gay, from the book of delights

Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

George Sand, in a letter to Gustave Flaubert

Nikki Giovanni, Mirrors

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters

Mary Oliver, Dogfish

on choosing kindness. again and again.

“To be a human being among people and to remain one forever, no matter in what circumstances, not to grow despondent and not to lose heart — that’s what life is all about, that’s its task.”

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, from a letter to his brother