This Isnt A Horny Post Just A Personal Rant So Ignore If You Dont Wanna Read This Downer :P

this isn’t a horny post just a personal rant so ignore if you don’t wanna read this downer :P

i have this awful feeling that i’m literally never going to be able to start testosterone. i get so insanely jealous whenever i see people on here do their injections or talk about the changes they’ve experienced on t and i. want that so fucking bad.

but i’m in a place where i cannot start t safely because of where i live and who i live with. even though im planning on moving out i won’t have health insurance so i honestly don’t even think i’ll be able to start it once i move out and i. don’t know how much longer i can go without it because my dysphoria is genuinely getting so awful.

i feel like i pass okay sometimes now but then people call me miss or her and it just fucking kills me and i can’t anymore. i want to start testosterone so fucking bad and i don’t want to wait for things to start because im so fucking tired of waiting for things to happen.

it’s the same way with getting top surgery. i genuinely don’t feel like i’ll ever be able to get it even though i want it more than anything and most of that is because i can’t afford it. i can’t pay for it and i can’t afford the time off of work that it would take because my job requires lifting a lot of heavy shit and physical activity.

long story short i’m jealous. i’m jealous of other trans guys who’ve been able to start t as teenagers or who are on t now because im not. i hate being jealous bc i know all those other trans guys had to wait for it too.

but i feel like im never going to be able to start it and i cannot stand myself and this body

(i started taking zoloft recently so the icky feelings are kinda heightened right now bc im getting used to the meds)

fhghgngngn

'You call the shots, babe I just wanna be yours'

been thinking a lot about boots…………. dom making u grind against them, lick them, kiss them, lay against them…… getting stood on n getting laughed at when they figure out you actually like that… lifting your chin up with their boot to see how pathetic you look on the ground…. anyway

mutual masturbation over the phone with the love of my life has forever changed me /pos

if a guy praised me while I sucked his tdick I'd probably cum on the spot.

When they don’t let you cum normally, if you want to cum you’ll have to hump and rub yourself on their thigh , their boots, a pillow or stuffed animal. All while they watch, chuckle and point out of fucking desperate you are. :((