Tw: Tiny Tiny Mention Of Sh And Drugs

Tw: tiny tiny mention of sh and drugs

I feel so lonely, I really miss him. I want to cuddle with him and sleep in his arms and just be with him.

We could sit in silence together and I would love it. I just really want to be with him. So so bad.

There is emptiness in my chest that I mustn't drink away. That I mustn't cut away. But I know he could hold be and I would feel whole.

Maybe not whole but something closer to it. Life gets more bearable with him. It gets livable. I can actually live and not only survive when we are together...

I was right, my boyfriend got drunk and crazy but at least he is physically alright, so I guess that is all I could hope for.

I still miss him. I still want to hold him, he deserves all the good things on this world...

But he is safe now, so I can finally go to sleep, yay

I am in an open relationship and my boyfriend texted me today that he made out with one of his friends.

And honestly, I do not mind at all? I was totally okay with me, don't get me wrong, but I still thought I would kinda care about it. But I really just don't.

I literally do not care?? Which is pretty nice.

Tw: mention of ed

Getting told I am not the overweight one of the two of us makes me want to cry.

Yeah, I am overweight, but I am trying so hard to not starve myself. At times I still puke up all I ate that day and try to make myself feel smaller. Prettier.

I am trying so hard not to fall back into old habits and eat nothing but an apple for weeks and faint in the middle of the street again.

I am trying so hard to stabilize my eating and get to a healthy amount.

I didn't need my best friend to remind me that I am overweight, fat and gross.

I already know and I am trying so hard to accept that. To try and loose weight the normal, healthy way.

Not to pick apart ever food, count calories, starve and puke.

I am trying so hard, but I don't think I can after this.

I fucking love my boyfriend.

I asked him some questions and he answered "sure" to everything, which is nice but also stresses me because of the one word answer.

I was about to ask if he was mad at me and he was like "my pookie".

Bam. So easy, crisis averted. Now I am reassured and happy again and that without having to ask for it.

Fucking love him :)

Tw: mention of sh

Everything that is in my head is relapse, I can't stop thinking about it...

Why dies it have to feel this good to cut myself? Why dies it help me so much short term?