Shattered Glass

Shattered Glass

ship: Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: all the angst (I’m so sorry), curse words, mentions of sex.

summary: You and Bucky have been together for three years now, you don’t understand how he could break your heart the way he did when you found in your bed, but not alone.

You sat on the edge of your bed, tears still escaping your eyes. You took in the events of your evening staring at the shattered vinyl in front of you.

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You were supposed to be spending the next three days with your best friend and teammate, Natasha. The two of you planned on staying in a hotel out of town and partying till you drop. But, there was a change of plans. Nat had gotten a call from the hospital saying that her mother was going to be released. She had stage 2 breast cancer and they had said she beat it, good for her you thought.

You didn’t mind that she had to go, you understood. This is a big thing.

“Thank you so much y/n!” Nat said to you after you nodded for her to go when she hung up.

She was almost out the door when she ran back and kissed you on the forehead, “I promise to hang out with you as soon as I possibly can!”

“Oh my lord, Nat GO! Its okay!” she smiled and hugged you quick before she rushed out, slamming the door.

You laughed and started to pack your bags. You were happy for Nat, and happy you could surprise  Bucky by coming home early. Maybe get him a gift on the way.

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You had found an old thrift store and started searching for something that would remind Bucky of home, then you found the perfect thing and rushed it to the counter as quickly as you could.

Pulling up to your apartment you smiled when you saw Bucky’s car and made your way in. When you got inside it was quiet, you suspected Bucky was sleeping because whenever he was awake there was some type of noise. Whether it was that he had music on, or he was cooking, or even watching TV.

You examined Bucky’s gift, you got him a vinyl of a band from the 40’s that he would always talk about. you hummed to yourself knowing how much he would like it.

When you met Bucky you knew he was going to be the love of your life, and he is. The day was still crystal clear to you. You had joined the avengers because Fury had seen your history, since you were born you had unspeakable strength.  The team loved you! But, Bucky always kept to himself around you. Which you understood, knowing his past.

One night you had a nightmare, you got them a lot. They were mostly about the doctors who held you down and did examinations on you. Which your mother  would allow. The dream consists of you screaming for your mother as her figure walked away from you, then you would see your father sobbing uncontrollably and being held back… then shot in the head.

These doctors were Hydra.

You awoke in a cold sweat with Bucky by your side and quickly sat up.

“y/n… You’re okay..” he said holding you in his arms.

“H-Hydra.. They k-killed him.” Bucky tensed up automatically and pulled away from you.

“Hydra?” he asked hesitantly.

You explained your dream in depth to him, which once again caused you to be in his embrace. He then told you about his past with hydra, then about his family, then a silly story about him and Steve.

The two of you spent the rest of your night like that, and the night after that. The two of you became inseparable. Bucky asked you to be his a week after that night. You’ve been together for three years now.

Coming back to reality you placed your purse down on the counter and started to the bedroom.

You opened the door and tears almost automatically filled your eyes.

In your view was a peacefully sleeping Bucky Barnes… and some girl.

You must have been squeezing the gift because it shattered in your hands and fell to the floor. which caused Bucky to shoot up automatically, already a pleading look in his eyes. The girl woke up soon after him with fear in her eyes.

“get out…” you whispered looking at her. She didn’t move. Which caused your power to kick in, creating a loud echoing yell, “GET OUT!!”

The barely clothed girl got up and out the door in seconds. Then you fell to your knees, crying at the blood and glass in your hands.

Bucky ran over and helped you up, bringing you to the bathroom.

Your tears stopped when you sat on the rim of the tub as Bucky started patching up your hand.

…

“she means nothing to me…”

…

“y/n, I’m so sorry. I promise I can make this up to you.” He said through a sob when he finished bandaging you up.

He sat down on the floor in front of you, your face blank and not breaking contact with the floor.

His hands reached up to cup your cheek, which caused you to flinch and look up at him.

smack!

He leaned back holding his face, “I deserved that…”

You got up and walked out, Bucky following.

You walked back into your room and found a box and set it on the bed you called both of yours.

his faced grimaced when he saw you put a shirt of his in it,

“y/n please don’t do this.” he says already broken into much harsher tears then before.

You continue to pack and sobs break from your lips.

“y/n” Bucky says touching your shoulder. You quickly turn to him pushing away,

“Don’t to-ouch me!”

Bucky frowns and steps closer “can we please talk about this, y/n?” he says biting on his bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

“Talk about what Bucky?! The fact that you fucked a girl in our- in my bed??”

“I know, I’m so so sorry y/n. But I don’t love her I love you y/n!”

this time you allow him to grab the sides of your forearms softly.

Bucky notices that you don’t move and leans his forehead against yours.

“I loved you too” he leans back quickly to take in your face, he knows you’re lying. He knows you still love him. He also knows how you deal with heartbreak.

“No..y/n.. please don’t push me away” he says pulling you into a hug you allow, knowing its your last one.

You pull away, stepping back. You feel cold not feeling him against you,

“How long?” you whisper looking out the window

“We barely even talked this is ne-”

“HOW LONG?” you say blowing him backwards, but he kept his stance.

“A WEEK….a week.. y/n please give me a chance.” He says inching closer

“you can pack your stuff now…”

“y/n no don’t make me go… please~” he says, voice cracking.

“you can either leave now or pick it up tomorrow…”

Bucky was on his knees holding your legs, soaking your jeans with tears. you didn’t move but kept droning on about what he could do with his stuff.

He started kissing up your body making it to your face and peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

he was mumbling ‘I love you’ after every single one. He was going on about how you were his only love and that he wanted you and only you. But, you weren’t listening until one key word hit your ears which caused you to actually look at him. He noticed and continue,

“yeah, I bought a ring. I have it here with me y/n. look, I wanted to marry you and you only.” He says showing you a small velvet box. You take it from him and look at the shiny diamond ring, you smiled.

“Bucky…” he smiles and steps close to you, you place your hand on his cheek. A visible smile appeared on his face.

“I love you so much…” you step back and look at the box again, choosing your next sentence wisely.

“but.” you hand him the box and place your hands on his chest, his face drops.

“I need time. Time away from this…Time away from you.”

He goes to protest but then bows his head, “Can I still talk to you? If you’re breaking up with me right now I get it. But, I don’t want to lose you y/n.”

You smile again, tears escaping your eyes and trailing down your face. You take his hands and lead him out to the front door, he stops when he sees you’re still kicking him out.

“y/n please think about this?” He says taking your hand away from the knob.

You still open it, pulling Bucky closer to you. You gently kiss his lips then go to pull away when he pulls you back in, melting you in a strong kiss. As you’re kissing you start walking him backwards through the door. When you finally separate you step back inside your home, he then realizes he outside and tries to get back in,

“y/n wait!-”

You shut the door and slide down the wall sobbing as loud as you can, shaking the room. You can still hear him banging on the door yelling for you. Your kitchen was shaking so much a glass plate fell and shattered.

You can hear Bucky asking if you’re okay. But then you stop hearing everything.

You lay back against the wall still sobbing and screaming but you couldn’t even hear yourself. You’re world stopped.

You heard muffled sobs behind you then receding footsteps.

You were alone, you couldn’t call Nat she was probably celebrating her day with her mother.

You obviously couldn’t call Bucky for obvious reasons.

So you dragged yourself to your room, ripped the sheets off your bed and sat on it.

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You couldn’t believe he did this. After everything the two of you went through… and he just threw it all away.

You decided to call Steve, you knew Bucky was probably with him but you had to talk to him.

“Steve? Hey..”

“y/n?” you heard Bucky in the back asking him if that was you.

“I just wanted to call in sick for tomorrow… I’m sure you know why… I just need some time from… him” you sob through the phone.

“y/n, its okay. Take as much time as you can. You’re an Avenger, you’re strong. I’m not just saying that about your power i’m saying that you, yourself is strong.”

You laugh and thank him. You can hear Bucky pleading Steve on the other end.

“Alright I’ve got to go, I cant listen to him like that. Thank you again Steve.”

“Its not a problem I’ll see you when you feel better.”

“one more thing Steve?”

“Yes, doll?” you cringe at the nickname. Its a 40’s thing.

“Take care of him please? His nightmares have been getting better but after this…”

“I promise. I’ll make sure he stays safe for you.” You can tell that he’s restating what you’re saying so Bucky knows.

“Tell him that i’m sorry and that I will always love him but i just need space for me too?”

“y/n…” buckys voice. You must have been put on speaker.

you choke a sob out, “Goodbye.”

You instantly hang up and throw your phone at the wall, breaking it in the act.

You scrunch your nose walking over to it. You know Tony will get you a new one though.

You gather all the shattered glass around your apartment and trash it.

Falling into your naked bed you curl up into a extra blanket you have, thinking about what you’re going to do when you have to go back to work.

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Hey! sorry for the angst and tears. I almost cried writing this!

Please give me any feedback you have!

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