Find Me

Find Me

Bear Trap 🥀 (my trendy hipster style look book and alternative outcast poem reading)

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my poem:

I bloom as fast as the flowers

Late in June

I take a while

Do you know I was a kid once?

Same

Body

I still wear the same sweater, from back when I was 14

Back when I had nobody to please

Just being me or the “me” my parents let me be

I can’t wait my turn

Not no more

Patience is a lie

When you’re growing inside, all the time

Cross the road when you want

The time is now

Fuck the clock

German Shepard on a chain

Remind me of what my days were

Back when scribbling with chalk on the sidewalk, was all I really wanted

Vapes on the floor

Ditching class and failing p.e

Abandoned car seat

You never really grow up of being a baby

I don’t shine like the sun

Glimmer like the moon

Don’t look at me, not on purpose

Only because you can’t look away

Pay attention to me, what do you do want from me?

I’m only giving myself out for free

For the feelings daddy couldn’t give me

The older, the better

The younger, the meaner

More insecure

I’m too 23 to feel free

Give me 30, 40, 50

Love my generation but not enough to kiss them. Date em

Too mentally crazy

And I’m just like them

You can find me hiding in The Alleys

Where’s it’s quiet

And the strays skip happily

Bet you can’t look away, once you do

It’s kiss me or harm me

No in-between

Want me or trap me

Hold my soul, likes it’s yours to own

Can’t catch a butterfly

Can’t force the wind

I’ll be your girl

If you promise me one wish

Freedom

I’m looking for a daddy

Not a dad

There’s a difference

One you only call after midnight

One never calls you back

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poem: Bear Trap by Roger Rudes, (2023).