mikrokosmos:ㅤshe-her⠀!⠀18
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I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:
Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.
Bruce: What, why?!
Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.
Bruce: *is completely speechless*
Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.
Your honor, I see no lies here.
As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD
Your new partner is Grayson.
He’s a weird guy.
Not necessarily a bad guy, but a weird one.
He’s not cold, in fact he’s rather friendly. However, when you really consider it, he volunteered very little information on his personal life. Reasonable, you suppose. So long as he has your back in the field and gets his reports done, you don’t need to be best friends.
Your new partner Grayson is a recent Gotham transplant. You’d never personally been, but you weren’t oblivious to how utterly mad the city was. You could hardly blame him for getting out.
Your new partner Grayson, tenses up whenever someone mentions the Batman, or any of the nutcases he fights. You don’t pry.
You do your own research.
Your new partner Grayson watched his parents die. He’d been taken in by Gotham’s favourite son, a man he seemed reluctant to speak of. He’d had, and lost a brother, to the most deranged man Gotham, if not the world, had ever known.
You stop mentioning Gotham around him after that.
Your new partner Grayson is a weird guy, who seems constantly surprised whenever you demonstrate competency.
At first you’d suspected sexism. It wouldn’t have been your first partner to have that failing.
After a few days though, you catch him being equally surprised when officer Jackson makes a connection on a string of breaking and entries, and realise that perhaps he’s just not used to the cops not being utterly reliant on a very scary angsty furry and a small child without pants.
Your new partner, Grayson, is a weird guy, who disappears sometimes. Middle of a chase he’ll be gone, and you won’t see him again for sometimes as long as hours, before he’s back. More often than not, somehow through some insane luck, the perp will have been taken down by Bludhaven’s new vigilante, and tied to a lamppost for you to find. You both hated and envied his luck.
Your new partner Grayson was a weird guy… and he was a damn good cop.
He made connections like no one else. It was like he had some sort of sixth sense. You’d asked him once, about how he seemed to know all he did. How he seemed to have access to a whole other database of clues you just couldn’t see.
And he’d smiled that cheeky smile of his, and told you he’d been consulting an oracle.
Your new partner, Grayson, moves like nothing you’ve ever seen.
You’d initially attributed it to his past as an acrobat. The way he could simply parkour over and around anything in his way, run faster then he had any right to, chase down a perp like a bloodhound.
It was more than that though. You’d say without hesitation that if you were in a firefight, he’s who you’d want at your side. You must’ve owed him your life three times over by now. Even in those situations though, when no one would have blamed him for the use of lethal force, he never had.
You’d been pinned down by a smuggling ring. You, Grayson, and ten of them - all armed to the teeth.
He’d been incredible. Superhuman, almost.
Someone had shot out the lights. He’d told you one of the smugglers must have missed. You’d never once believed him.
Ten smugglers. You’d managed to knock out and cuff one, unwilling to risk taking a shot blind.
The other nine? Those had been your partner. He had them unconscious in a heap by the time your eyes had adjusted.
No bullet wounds. He’d done it hand to hand.
You didn’t know exactly what he was hiding, but you knew he was hiding something. You decided not to call him out on it. Not as long as you trusted that whatever he was using his … inexplicable skills for was good.
And trust you did.
Grayson was a good man. Even knowing little about him
Which was why this betrayal hurt so badly.
“Say again?”
You’d sat in relative silence in an unmarked police car for about half an hour on a stakeout, and Richard Grayson had just said the worst sentence you’d ever heard. You’d never been so utterly horrified.
“Peeps popcorn.” He says, holding up the tupperware containing an atrocious biohazard, grinning from ear to ear.
“One more time please?” you fight to keep up your faked anger, but fail in the face of that fucking smile.
Honestly, it should be some sort of crime to smile like that. Like everything would work out in the end, so long as you could keep him smiling at you.
“Peeps. Popcorn.” He says it a third time. He’s trying and failing not to laugh at her, at the way her mouth twists and flails to maintain a frown.
He was tempted to tell her it was in vain. He’d broken Batman, and he’d make her smile too.
Honestly, she had such a pretty smile. Not that he’d say that, she was his partner, and they needed to keep things professional.
“It’s my turn to provide stakeout snacks, and so,” he lifts the lid of the peeps popcorn balls.
“Peeps popcorn.”
She rolls her eyes, and looks out the window of the passenger side. But she’s smiling. “It is one of life’s great injustices,” she huffs “that you can eat like that and maintain your… impressive physique.”
Dick feels his chest puff out a little. While he had been able to tell all along that she had a crush on him, but he’d never risk acting on it. Still, it felt nice to be complemented by her.
“Seriously, do you clock off and just do the ninja warrior course all night or something?” She muses, her head against the window, looking at him out of the side of her eye.
“Not exactly,” he replies, sitting back in his seat, bringing his foot up onto the cushion. “Try one.” he presses, poking her side with the container.
She takes one, rolling her eyes and nibbles at the neon cluster of popcorn.
“No. no.” she gags, “oh that's nasty. Oh, it's so sweet. Why? Why Grayson. Why would you do this to me?” she asks, setting the sticky concoction on the divider between their seats.
Dick just laughs “I am determined to make you a peeps convert.”
“Never, regular marshmallows are fine.”
“Peeps are rainbow.”
“How old are you?”
“There is no age too old to enjoy whimsy, Detective.” he responds, biting into his own.
“Besides, are you implying that rainbow marshmallows are irregular? In this day and age? Tut tut.”
“We are not making me out to be a homophobe over peeps!” she protests, still laughing, slightly taken aback at the audacity.
“If you say so.” he says, stretching his arms over his head and into the backseat. Stakeouts were terrible. He was not built to sit still in a confined space for hours at a time. However, this one provided a useful opportunity he cannot afford to waste.
Not to torment her with his war of attrition for peeps supremacy - though that was fun.
He needed to be sure of something else.
“Well. You being wrong about peeps aside. I … wanted to check back on a file from a few months ago. You uh… you didn’t move the Holt murder file, did you?”
“Holt.” she clicks her tongue in thought “the guy with…” she gestures to her chest.
“That's the guy.”
“Not knowingly. I haven’t had cause to reopen it. No new leads. I tried to track down the kid… He didn’t want a bar for me. Guess I can’t blame him. I offered the help I could… but well… the last time someone helped him his dad got brutally murdered. He’s staying in the tent city by the docks, best I can figure.” She seems to feel guilty as soon as she says it, but Dick doesn’t blame her.
He had paid for that room. If he hadn’t… who knows what might have happened?
“But if someone moved it?” he prompts, not wanting to dwell on that gnawing guilt.
“Wasn’t me.”
Your new partner, Grayson, was a weird guy who ate strange and terrible foods.
He blames himself for what happened to poor Mr Holt. Because he was good to the core, and somehow that had led to something utterly twisted.
He’s also standing on your balcony. On the 20th floor.
And it all makes sense now.
Your apartment isn’t particularly nice. It was small, and frequently disorganised. Especially when you got overly invested in a case.
You’d been texted many gifs of the conspiracy board meme by friends over the years.
Work life balance? Not something you’d ever seen much value in.
And now, your unfairly attractive new partner Grayson was in your apartment, in full vigilante getup.
You need to find a way to be normal about that in ten seconds or less, because he’s staring at you, and you're staring at him, and it's starting to get awkward.
“Hello.” you eek out.
He greets you as Detective, followed by your first and last name.
Unusually formal, for him. Unless… unless he somehow thinks a few inches of fabric in the shape of a wingding is going to fool you.
Unless he thinks he’s got you hoodwinked.
“Nightwing… to what do I owe the pleasure?”
He leans in the doorframe, his hands braced against its top, so he is leaning into your space without touching you, and giving you plenty of ability to step back if you so chose. You don’t.
“I have reason to suspect there’s a serial killer moving though Bludhaven. And that whoever they are, they have someone in your precinct on the payroll.”
You fold your arms, bristling.
“Not sure I appreciate the accusation.” Sure, the bludhaven police department was ridiculously corrupted. But you’d hope that your partner would have at least the trust in you not to think you’d help a serial killer.
“No accusation.” he reassures “a request for help. I need someone I can trust inside the department. And my source says that’s you, sherlock.”
His source? Was he kidding?
No. No he wasn’t.
Oh this was madness.
This was hysterical.
He really, truly thinks that you can’t know him outside of his streetwear. And he’s trying to pass it off like he doesn’t know himself either.
Perhaps you should tell him you know.
But… Grayson and his peeps tomfoolery isn’t the only one who can have fun.
“So… you’re asking me to… what, exactly?” You prompt, unfolding your arms, willing to give him a chance.
Nightwing offers you a smile. It’s slightly different from Richard Graysons.
It’s just as sunny, and it makes you feel just as warm and fuzzy and giggly inside. You have to fight even harder to stop yourself blushing, given how much less this getup leaves to the imagination then his usual dress pants, shirt and tie.
But it’s a little more … brazzen. Flirtatious. More… cocky. Sure, He was always at least a bit of a show off, but as nightwing? He was one of the most capable, incredible people alive, and he wasn’t shy about it.
Oh, you were doomed. But that was a problem for later.
“I’m asking you to keep an eye on the ‘heartless’ case. Holt… he’s not the only one and I think there’s going to be more. And, to be blunt?”
He stands up straight, and puts an arm on your shoulder.
“It’s a big request. But you might be the only person in that station who I have real confidence in.”
You wonder what that says about his relationship with himself, but like so many things with Richard, you don’t ask.
“I can do that.”
“And I understand that it’s dange— I’m sorry, did you just agree?” he cuts himself off, staring at you.
You laugh then, just the once.
You owed him your life many times over as his partner. But as nightwing?
Since he’d come on the scene, you’d actually felt like something mattered. Like change could happen.
Like someone was willing to help the people of Bludhaven not to reap a profit, but because the system you’d once hoped to help restore was broken at its very core, and restoration wasn’t the solution - reformation and fundamental change was. And you didn’t know how to do that.
But then Nightwing had come onto the scene, and started kicking the asses of the worst of the worst, and you had felt like you had when you’d joined the force, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and determined to make a difference.
Before the incident. And every other day, when you’d felt that optimism slowly being crushed to death, into a fine powder and blown away in the wind.
“Yeah.” you say, and agreeing to help is one of the best feelings in the world. You get to help. To make a real difference.
“Bludhaven owes you a hell of a lot, Nightwing… seems like the least I can do is tell you if anything weird comes up.”
“Right. Thank you.” he clearly wasn’t expecting this. Maybe he’d thought it would be a harder sell.
“If I do… have anything for you, how should I alert you?”
He passes you a wingding. “Put this in your window. I’ll check in every few days.”
You raise an eyebrow “all your fancy tech and you don’t have a phone”
He shrugs “phones are traceable. Plausibly just something you picked up on a case as a trinket that you ‘forgot’ to log in evidence left on a windowsill? Lot harder to trace.”
“Fair.” you acknowledge.
“Besides.” he steps backwards onto your balcony once more “your place is on one of my main patrol routes. Can’t let anything happen to the best looking detective Blud’s got.”
You scoff, without any real offence. You know he’s only playing, and that he does, as Richard, respect your intellect more then your appearance - but you suppose as ‘nightwing’ he doesn’t know you that well.
“I think you mean best detective full stop.” you respond, and he gives a small bow of playful deference.
“But of course, sherlock.”
And then he’s gone.
That night, you don’t sleep.
You felt so stupid. He’s nightwing. He’s been nightwing the whole time.
The skills. The disappearing. The way he seemed to just… know things.
The way he tensed whenever someone mentioned Gotham.
… the timing of Robin reportedly becoming a child again.
Had your new partner, Grayson, been Robin?
Had he been using the Batman's archives to solve cases? Was that his so called oracle?
… wait.
Was Bruce Wayne the FUCKING BATMAN?
You screamed into your pillow. You were laying awake, face down in your bed, because now you had realised far too many things in one night.
The first: Your new partner is Nightwing.
The second: Bruce Wayne might be Batman.
The third: you, enchanted by that fucking perfect smile, had agreed to help track down a serial killer stealing hearts.
The fourth: Your new partner, Richard Grayson, between his stupid snacks, the Alfred Pennyworth foundation he’s been working to get off the ground, and his work as Nightwing, will save Bludhaven, you know it to your core.
And the fifth. The worst, and scariest part of your night: You may very well have fallen in love with him.
If you read this far, reblog?
Divider credit: @strangergraphics
Tag list:
@jasontoddproblems
@sunnie-angel
@stormz369
First time writing Dick! Feedback is welcome.
In a context where Batman is known and seen through his public League appearances, the misogynistic, homophobic, "alpha male" guys start using his image to illustrate their discourse of going to the gym, and seeking submissive women. They admire and misinterpret his traits as endorsements of their toxic masculinity. Online, they share images of Batman with stuff like "Be the Alpha, Be the Batman". They even use the word Batmen as a synonym to Alpha Male. "Real Batmen don't show weakness".
When Bruce becomes aware of this, he hates it. He despises them for all their messed up views, knowing they completely misunderstand his principles. Batman's true strength lies in his commitment to justice, empathy, and respect for all individuals, values that are fundamentally opposed to the toxic masculinity they promote. Bruce is determined to distance his image from their rhetoric, seeing them as nothing more than sexist and homophobic idiots.
So he decides to be a tiny tiny bit more Brucie when they appear in public. Not in form, but in substance :
When he's asked a question, he tries to go "I have no clue, I'd have to ask Black Canary.", or "I'm not sure, I'd have to see what Wonder Woman thinks about that", or "This time, we really couldn't have done anything, anything at all, without Supergirl."
Also, Batman becomes more visibly affectionate with Superman. During public appearances, if he senses a camera on them, he makes sure to be seen clinging to Superman. He would rather face dating rumors every day than be associated with those idiotic discourses.
(It's also a good premise for a superbat fake-dating fic !!)
some boyfriend!harry james potter headcanons that make me giggle n kick my feet to think about <3
loves to buy you flowers. like, he knows the florist personally at this point because he's constantly working on new bouquets for you. he knows all about trimming the stems, cutting the leaves, fertilizing the water, he's really passionate about you having beautiful, fresh flowers around you all the time. "pretty girls deserve pretty flowers" <333
you guys heard about the orange peel theory right? well harry doesn't just peel your orange for you, he also pulls it apart, plates it, makes it look beautiful, and gets you a drink to go with it. he does not fuck around when it comes to doing favors for you, he will do whatever it takes to make even the smallest parts of life easier for you
on that note, he knows your preferences for everything. your favorite drinks and how you like them, your favorite meals from your favorite places, your favorite brands or stores, even down to how you like your clothes organized. anytime he learns how you like something a particular way he takes note, not because he has to, but because he loves learning about all your little details that make you so special to him
doesn't hesitate to buy something if it makes him think of you. if he knows you really like one animal, he'll buy random things with that animal on it just because they remind him of you. if something comes in your favorite color it's his first choice. he buys sweatshirts/sweaters in the hopes you like them enough to wear them yourself. he just loves having these little parts of you in his life to remind him how lucky he is to have you around :'(
gets a little jealous and flustered if you have a celebrity crush or start gushing over a character from the book you're currently reading. he knows it's not serious and doesn't let it get to him too much, but he can't help that he's protective over you, even if it's against a completely fictional character. still, he finds it incredibly cute when you blush talking about/seeing them <3
always feels so relaxed when he's with you that he actually gets sleepy. anytime you're cuddling or even just snuggled up on the couch together he starts drifting in and out of sleep, his body melting into yours. he can't help it, you just make him feel so safe and comfortable...most of the time you tease him for it, but sometimes he looks too cute sleeping on your shoulder for you to wake him...zzz...
absolutely loves to do all the cheesy boyfriend stuff for you: hold your bags, open doors for you, give you his jacket, pay for every date, he's just so proud to be with you and he wants you to know it. he's so excited anytime he gets to introduce you as his girlfriend, and takes any chance he can to bring you up in conversation. he just loves you so much he can't keep it to himself !!!
jason: i think we should get a divorce
steph: what are you doing?
jason: just practicing
steph: why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?
jason: i don't know. i'm getting old, i think i'm having a mid-life crisis
steph: you don't even have a girlfriend
jason: hypothetically divorce me
steph: okay, then i'm hypothetically taking half your assets
jason: well, you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup
jason, to duke: it's called a prenup, right?
duke: yeah, it's a prenup, and you DID hypothetically sign one
steph: who the fuck is this guy?
duke: i'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case
steph: well, then, i'm taking the hypothetical kids
steph, to tim: right? we can get those, right?
tim: yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it
jason: who the fuck is this hypothetical fucking idiot? a hella fucking nerd idiot
tim: wow, that is a lot of hypothetical insults. i need to keep these on for continuity because i look like the other lawyer
steph: this is MY hypothetical lawyer, and we have been hypothetically sleeping with each other
jason: how could you hypothetically do this to me?!
steph: because you hypothetically are an alcoholic!
Dick Grayson by Dan Mora you will always be famous.
sorry for always being the first like in your fic, i just check the 'x reader' hashtag constantly
maldito tráfico de la javier prado, amanecí con ganas de q se extinga el ser humano
WHERE ARE ALL THE DICK GRAYSON FICS?? TUMBLR WHY ARE WE LACKING FICS FOR THE SEXIEST MAN IN DC COME ON NOW✋
where's the dick fics, WHERE ARE THEY I JUST CAN'T I NEED MY DAILY DOSIS OF DAYDREAMING ABT HIM !!!!
literally the realest thing i’ve seen today
Is it just me or everyone imagine their fav characters that they are obsessing over in real life???
Like I'll be at work and then I imagine that bitch sitting next to me, talking to me and admiring me while I FUCKING KNOW THAT I HAVENT KISSED A MALE SPECIES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
I don't know if that's sign of a fucking mental problem or what but I swear if I'm even Slightly upset or tired of my life i WILL open tumblr and start imagining them or talking to them (aka my wall. It be sitting there like the fuck gurl im not your man)
Is it just me or everyone imagine their fav characters that they are obsessing over in real life???
Like I'll be at work and then I imagine that bitch sitting next to me, talking to me and admiring me while I FUCKING KNOW THAT I HAVENT KISSED A MALE SPECIES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
I don't know if that's sign of a fucking mental problem or what but I swear if I'm even Slightly upset or tired of my life i WILL open tumblr and start imagining them or talking to them (aka my wall. It be sitting there like the fuck gurl im not your man)
Taking anti-depressant pills?? Seeing a therapist??? Journaling???? No need babe, my fav writer just dropped another x reader fic.
I need masculine leaning sapphics to understand that there's nothing emasculating about a femme wanting to spoil you financially. I don't want to trick you into a night out with me and prepay for stuff just so that you can enjoy the moment without an argument about who pays at the end. I might enjoy the heteronormative cloak our appearances offer for a few seconds in a world where I can't hold your hand in public without being sneered at, but there's no need to confine ourselves to their culture of contracts when we're alone.
You and I, we don't need to survive against each other the way they do. You're not systemically any more advantaged than I am as the female-sex. We can take care of each other in all the same ways.
You wanna know what I hate? People who don't tag properly, whether it be on AO3, Tumblr, ECT. Tags exist for a fucking reason.
A great example of not tagging properly is a fic I found that was marked "Dazai/reader" so it must be an x reader, right? WRONG! It was a Dazai x AN OC. AN OC WITH A WHOLE ASS NAME.
It pisses me tf off
hamilton being needy in his letters to eliza
i tried to do a funny compilation of all the times he's needy in his courtship letters but holy shit it happens basically every two paragraphs so buckle up, it's long.
Exhibit A: Begging her to write more often
lmao "this is a threat. write more."
.
.
.
he's literally comparing the number of letters he sends, "three to one"
.
this is a trend, him going "why no letters?? text me back girl."
Exhibit B: Why he's writing so many letters
love the washington cameo as the cockblocker smh
.
double combo of "i saw a rival guy in my dreams :(" and "here's two more letters at once"
Exhibit C: Nooo I love you more. Vomit enducing.
my betsey. aw.
.
.
.
Exhibit D: Tell me the truth would you love me if i was a worm
"you know i'm broke right. tell me if you'll hate me for it."
not him spiraling imagining her saying "nope can't do it" the day before the wedding
eliza: *incredibly worried* alexander you haven't slept in three days how are you still writing
alexander: *frantically writing like a mad man* coffee and sheer willpower
currently experiencing the 5 stages of grief as i realize i’m re-entering my hamilton phase
"more than anything" increased my daddy issues so much, what the fuck.
Leon had turned out to be a half decent hacker, he was in the next room on the computer; he’d hardly slept since Claire’s capture, most of his time spent trying to track Umbrella’s recent movements.
Claire and Leon quotes from the “Resident Evil: Code Veronica” novel by S.D. Perry