Dreams And Nightmares

Dreams and Nightmares

Walk Through Fire Chapter 27

Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV)A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. MartinA Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms

Relationship: Tyrion Lannister/Sansa Stark

Summary: All seven hells break loose in the streets of King's Landing.

Excerpt:

The she-wolf roamed the Wolf’s wood at Winterfell.  The ground was soft and wet beneath her feet.  As the wolf quietly prowled the moonlit woods, her paws sank into the cold powdery snow that lightly covered the fallen leaves and dying grasses.  She braced herself against the biting wind that weaved through the skeletal branches above her, almost seeming to whisper to her.  Her senses were heightened.  Every faint rustle, or subtle scent upon the frozen air caught her notice.  She continued following the intoxicating scent, her head down, and her ears erect.  The scent trail lingered in the air, it enticed her and drew her deeper into the heart of the forest.  The scent carried the story of prey. 

Another ship you say? You're doing too much you say? It's just platonic you say? Cue Dido "White Flag."

r u mine?

I am seeing a lot of different things. Many things can be true all at once. Some are anti-shipping in general. Some are put off by romantic sub plots. Some cannot see Sydney as a love interest because of their own perceptions of her character. Some of this is based in race, colorism, or any other variety of things. It is hard to know. I don’t presume to. But it has been interesting just how adamant people are against shipping on this particular piece of media in the public (news articles, critics etc.) and that is worth examining.

The Topic of Chef's Kiss

Part 1: Context

I very rarely interact with fandom at all. I was a shy kid and still nervous, though I've found ways around it. I write, read, and comment on fanfiction works, and that's about the extent of it. Then The Bear came along. It's a small fandom, but it's very active considering season 2 is about to come out. I hyperfixated intensely on season 1, though I had to take a break for school. As a result, I scrolled through the tag with a thoroughness that I had never employed before. I was a bit disappointed to see so much shipping discourse.

Before anyone tries to say otherwise, I'm not against shipping. I promise this post will not stop anyone from having fun.

Anyway, I'm not big on shipping. That's not to say I avoid it entirely. It's just not a priority. I primarily engage with media by trying to understand my favorite characters and playing with found family dynamics. So, it's frustrating seeing so many posts focusing intently on Carmy and Sydney's potential relationship instead of their current dynamic. Many people take all of their interactions and put them through the lens of romance and only romance. This is exhausting to me.

And again, before anyone tries to assume anything—just because I find something frustrating does not mean I think it's objectively bad or morally wrong or what the fuck ever. It's an opinion, not a condemnation.

Another bit of context for this post: I'm a queer trans man. I don't mean to use that as leverage, by the way. Disagreeing with me is just a difference of opinions. I'd never claim it's on the grounds of trans/queerphobia. I'm including it as a piece of context for the following point.

Mainstream media romance has always been bland to me. Much of it is saturated with pairings that feel empty and soulless—straight couples getting together for no reason other than being a man and a woman, and that's apparently enough. Many pairings are virtually meaningless because the relationship doesn't change anything. Their arcs are unaffected. They aren't intertwined in any compelling way, they have no chemistry. The carelessness and heteronormativity are exhausting. That is where I am coming from and why I don't ship them all that much.

Part 2: Chef's Kiss

None of what I said in the previous paragraph applies to Chef's Kiss, though. Sydney and Carmy have great chemistry as the two leads. I, personally, don't see it as romantic. That's subjective, though, and I can see why someone would ship them! They're a cute pairing—in theory.

But considering canon, I don't want to see them together. At least, not where their respective characters are at the end of season one. In my opinion, it would be disrespectful to their characters to throw them together just for the sake of it being canon. There are a lot of reasons why they shouldn't have dated in the first season, beginning with the power imbalance, since Carmy is technically Sydney's boss. of course, by the end of the season (really, by the 3rd or 4th episode), Sydney has cemented her role as one of the very reasons that The Beef survived at all, so that's not really an issue (I think) going forward into the next season!

Another reason is that Sydney and Carmy both have these personal issues at their core that dictates their every move, respectively. Carmy, obviously, has his grief to deal with and his fear that Mikey never truly loved him the way he loved Mikey. Sydney feels so much pressure to prove herself, despite the fact that she already has and is an amazing chef and business partner. She has to process the failure of Sheridan Road...and I'm not entirely sure she's done that by the end of season 1? That's not exactly the point in all of this, though.

My point is that I don't think it works for them to be together currently (subject to change with season 2, of course) and that is why I don't really ship them, especially because I'm honestly more concerned with their current state in canon. That doesn't mean I don't find them cute and enjoy some SPECULATION on their relationship's potential, whether platonic or romantic. They might be great for each other in the future.

I'd also like to point out that shipping is traditionally centered around pairings that aren't canon. There aren't any requirements for a ship, so it's totally valid to ship two characters that aren't currently compatible in canon. Again, I'm just explaining why I personally don't ship it. I'm not at all saying that people shouldn't ship them.

Part 3: Shipping Discourse

Firstly, I want to acknowledge that fan spaces have been notoriously racist and specifically anti-black and continue to be, as well as misogynistic, and that the intersectionality of black women is relevant in all parts of life, including the consumption of media. Discussions of misogynoir are incredibly important. I'll always support fans who call out hateful shit in fandom, particularly because it can be a scary thing, considering the attitude many fans have and the tendency to dogpile an individual. It is not my intention to claim that fan spaces are untouched by real-life issues or that there can't be discussions of real-life issues within fan spaces. With that established, I'll continue.

It seems to me that the two primary reasons why some fans don't ship Chef's Kiss are 1) they would prefer The Bear to not focus on romance, and/or 2) they don't feel that Sydney and Carmy's chemistry is romantic/they value the platonic relationship between the two. My issue with the shipping discourse in this fandom is how much of it stems from people pushing the idea that the show itself has to be setting up their romance, or else. Not only do many posts that condemn Chef's Kiss nonshippers completely ignore the aforementioned arguments, but they also leave absolutely no room for nuance. You either ship it or you're a racist.

I've seen many posts in which a question is posed: "What are your thoughts on Sydney/Carmy?" with the response being "Fans that don't like it are racist lol". I don't believe that is a proportional response. There are also posts in which people in this fandom argue that anyone who is against Chef's Kiss is motivated by misogynoir and that, at the heart of it, fans who don't like the ship or support the lack of romance in The Bear believe that Sydney is not worthy of being with Carmy because she is a black woman. I am by no means saying that this is not possible. That is not the argument I am making.

It is my opinion that shipping discourse is not a platform meant to handle topics such as misogynoir—though that's not to say there are no meaningful arguments to be made there. In fact, there's at least one post in the tag that speaks about Chef's Kiss, and that I think did a good job of articulating the undercurrents of misogynoir found in fan spaces. There are also plenty of essays out there on fan culture and social/political issues within it. The thing is, those essays have the purpose of articulating the grievances of a marginalized community through the lens of their experience with fan culture. Whereas the situation that I'm describing is, instead, minimizing very complex ideas to argue in favor of the validity (and even canonical presence) of a fucking ship.

I guess what I want to say is this: fans with marginalized identities should always be supported in calling out shitty, hateful, and discriminatory behavior in fan spaces. Those discussions should be given the time and attention they need. Though the characters are not real, the people within the fandom are. With all of that said, I think that it is, at the very least, distasteful to use the discussion of racism in order to defend a ship. The way that discourse concerning Chef's Kiss employs, quite rampantly, the issue of misogynoir in order to argue that Chef's Kiss is, should be, or will be canon is inconsiderate and tactless. Furthermore, equivocating a person's stance on a ship to their moral standing is bizarre and scummy.

Now to end this post, which is even longer than I thought it would be, I implore anyone who may or may not feel obliged to respond to do so with civility. also, remember that this is a tumblr post in which I did my best to cover everything necessary and articulate my thoughts, not an academic essay. I am just a guy who hyperfixated on The Bear.

Vulture

The Bear’s Tastiest Ships, Ranked

Romance, table for two!

This was a fun read.

Reddit and Twitter need this most but I won’t, because reasons

I have said before I don’t think ALL the Camry and Sydney hate is racially motivated but PLENTY of it is. It’s Richonne 2.0. This isn’t new to me.

There is the outright racist coded comments like claiming Sydney has to be a lesbian, has to be asexual, looks like Kendrick Lamar (yes, it was said), along with the inability to ever empathize with her character.

But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about unconscious bias with people who don’t get that they feel the way they do because Sydney is black. So anyone reading this may want to take a moment and honestly examine what I’m saying.

Unconscious bias is, for example, the thing that leads doctors, sometimes even black ones, to presume that black people don’t feel pain in the same way whites do. It’s not necessarily malicious intentional action or obvious hatred towards us. It’s subtle perceptions that change how one views the nature and capabilities of black people while still being able to be friends with them, respect certain qualities about them, and maybe even at times be allies. But there is always something different in perception that is so invisible that you aren’t aware of it.

I've seen it in white people, strangers and acquaintances, making assumptions about what I’m into or should be, what my education and earnings are, and who I should be friends and lovers with. It’s the thinking we can always handle anything and not be burdened. It’s what is happening a lot with Sydney, especially with Carmy.

People are allowed to not like the ship. They don’t have to. I’m not going to assume everyone who doesn’t is racist. But for anyone who doesn’t I think it would be beneficial to examine a few things.

Viewing the first scene between them, how would you interpret Carmy’s taken aback, entranced, nervous reaction to seeing her? To me it obviously says attraction and surprise. If there is another explanation I’ve never heard it. People just gloss over that interaction and I think it’s a tell. It shows that people may not be able to see him showing signs of attraction to her because she doesn’t look like who you would expect him to be attracted to.

2. How would you explain the way Carmy is constantly looking at Sydney closely like he doesn’t look at anyone else? When we see her from his perspective she if glowy or hazy or out of focus. We don’t see that with any other characters he interacts with aside from that finale flashback with Mikey. He doesn’t look at Sugar like that. Syd is the only one who gets special framing. If you’ve never noticed, why?

3. If you think Syd could be a lesbian or asexual, why her and not for instance Tina, or others on the crew? Sex isn’t referenced a lot so why is it not being referenced with her any different than it not being referenced with others? Often people assume a woman who dresses tomboyish is just that. Why can’t that just be her style? I have plenty of women friends that are straight and sexual with a similar style.

4. Could you imagine the scenes with Syd and Carmy if a man was in Sydney’s place? What would you think of the vibe?

5. Could you see Ayo in the Claire role?

6. Could you see Jeremy and Ayo playing love interests in a totally different show?

7. If Molly Gordon plays Syd could you better picture her with Carmy?

8. When you see a dark skinned black woman in a couple with a white man IRL does it make you especially take notice or feel it’s a bit off?

9. Does the thought of Sydney and Carmy kissing or being intimate make you have an extreme reaction like eeew or gross? Maybe not so extreme does it make you feel awkward to think about it?

10. Do you often compare their relationship to siblings?

11. Can you recognize the Syd isn’t into Marcus romantically and has other options?

12. Can you only envision Sydney alone and not needing romance because her career is all she needs?

13. Do you think maybe Carmy could find her attractive if she looked more glamorous?

14. Could you more easily see Carmy into Syd if she was played by Zendaya or someone that looks similar?

15. Have you never seen a couple that looks like Syd and Carmy?

16. if you saw the Emmy magazine photo shoot did you not perceive the touchy pose with Ayo and Jeremy as sexually suggestive and think it’s an impossibility?

17. How do you think Clairs would react if she saw all of their interactions?

18. Is it easy to view Sydney as having complex motivations and emotions at the same time? Can you possibly see that she’s jealous of Claire because she distracted Carmy from business AND because she has feelings for Carmy? Is it possible to think she can view Carmy as a boss, mentor, and someone she is attracted too and that’s hard to process?

All of these things may not apply to your perception but if any do realize these are very common examples of how unconscious bias plays out when thinking of black women, especially in storytelling. This is a lot of what has historically been seen with similar ships and IRL mixed couples. That’s not to discount the numerous white man, white woman ships that people don’t like, but these things are consistently present with black women and white men presented in the media and celebrity couples. There is always more scrutiny with these pairings.

You may not have a context to understand that. You may have never been questioned in this way. You may be angered to think it’s possible this is a role in how you are viewing things, but it’s the truth based on lived experience and observation. It’s worth examining.

I’m not here to be hostile, I’m just trying to voice in a gentle way what so many here already know and you may not be aware of or ready to think about.

I’m not going to argue with anybody about it but any intelligent, respectful dialogue is welcome and encouraged.

I will wear my scarlet letter I will take the walk of penitence.

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list