Just Wait Until Other People Start Paying Techno In Teeth. Or Just Giving Them To Him.

Just wait until other people start paying Techno in teeth. Or just giving them to him.

Any time an animal dies they take the teeth just in case the weird godling with a dental obsession comes around.

Techno goes to a bakery and gets teeth sprinkled on top of his cupcake.

Silly fic AU where Techno is a godling who sheds tusks which are super magical (think unicorn horns) and Kristin is the tooth fairy desperately trying to work out how much money to put under his pillow

You know, I think the comparison of spiders to zombies is unfair. If spiders were contagious and people sized I would prefer the zombies.

Technoblade out here having to deal with seeing his own corpse and Phil crying hysterically at the same time.

He deserves a raise.

I’ve been reading too many how to train your Hoglin AUs and watched the video therefore:

(MCD and injury and stuff)

Techno’s exploring the nether when something goes horribly wrong and then he somehow wakes up in the body of a Hoglin and unable to use any of his stuff. Terribly inconvenient.

Eventually, Techno finds Phil in the nether looking for him and Techno protects Phil on his journey to find Techno. (Very classic)

Somewhere along the journey Philza brings up that his people believes in guardian spirits who appear when you need them most, usually the spirits of ancestors or loved ones.

Suddenly everything clicks for Techno. The terrible thing *did* kill him.

But he can still protect Phil.

Phil’s journey continues. Eventually, Philza finds where Techno died and now Techno has to keep Phil emotionally stable bc Phil is not taking it well.

Eventually Phil calms down some. The journey back to the nether portal is mostly Phil coming to terms with and grieving over Technoblade’s death.

At the end of the journey, near the portal. Phil looks back to say goodbye to the friendly Hoglin only to see it briefly turn into a spectral Technoblade before vanishing, and Phil realizes that Techno has been guiding him through everything.

You absolutely SHATTER my heart with these MCD's holy shit. I love EmDuo so much and the idea of them both coming to terms with what happened in different ways is just HEART RENDING. I love it.

And the realization at the end is just 🥺🥺🥺 my poor heart. You had me tearing up!!!!

On my way to work, I pass a rock Quarry. Sometimes, you can hear them blasting dynamite and it shakes the ground. They have torn up around 1/4 of the mountain, a massive chunk of the cliff just gone. And I see it every morning.

This morning, as I drove by, I looked up at the very top at this one bald spot. There were still trees on the right and trees on the left, but in the middle, there was a bald spot with one tree still left. It had no branches or leaves, just a glorified log sticking straight up in the air.

I had never noticed it before, but it looked so desolate. I mentioned it to my coworker and he said he thought it wasn't a tree. It must be some kind of equipment like a crane or a back hoe because it wasn’t always there. Sometimes it was. Sometimes it wasn't.

It was the first time I noticed it, so I can't really say. It looks like a tree to me.

And I can feel an AU bubbling up from the sight of it. I think something horror related. Something very Junji Ito. I can almost feel the idea catching me.

Because there is a tree on a bald mountain top.

But maybe, tomorrow there won't be.

And maybe, yesterday there wasn't.

Meanwhile, in the city of angst:

A knock on a door, a boy answers, anxiously awaiting his father’s return.

Bad news is shared. Guilty. Eaten.

A tragic loss, a preventable loss.

A loss brought on by a boy’s lie, a false claim of innocence.

Accusations fly, and brother turns against brother.

It’s your fault he’s gone, it should have been you.

Words that can’t be taken back.

Grief for a father that they will never see again in the mortal world.

And now, the loss of a brother to betrayal.

Gods au

Phil lives in a city with his kids.

One day, his eldest child is accused of big boy crimes, the kind of crimes that get you executed.

So Phil asks for a trial in the eyes of the god of justice, with Phil being a stand in for a trial by proxy, which he can do because his eldest is still a minor.

If the god finds his child committed no crime, Phil will go free. But if Phil’s kid is found guilty, the god will kill Phil, but his kid goes free.

So off Phil is dragged to the high temple of the god of justice and blood.

Cut to Techno.

He’s doing his godly duties, visiting his high temple in the form he usually uses for these kinds of things.

He’s a giant hog about 3 carts long, absolutely massive.

The last thing he has to do is pass Judgement in the main temple hall.

The accused or their proxies are lined up on either side of the center of the main hall, awaiting judgment. Techno walks past most, the innocent, few are foolish enough to try to fool the god of justice. Those who do try to fool him, he kills painfully.

There are also the proxies of the guilty, though. Those who committed no crime, and only seek to protect their children. There are a few, and their deaths are swift, almost painless.

Techno comes to the last to be judged. Now here is a dilemma. He’s a proxy for the guilty, but he’s also been marked by the goddess of death for protection, so he can’t kill him. But Techno can’t let him go.

Techno panics a little. What does he do?

He has to serve justice, but he can’t kill him.

An idea pops into Techno’s head, and he goes with it.

Techno lunges forward and snatches the man from the ground with his mouth, pulling him inside completely, and makes a swift exit.

With any luck, everyone at the temple will think the man was killed.

Now Techno has to figure out what to do with the rather squirmy proxy in his mouth, though.

The man obviously can’t go back home, that would violate the whole god of justice thing Techno has going on.

Maybe Techno… could take him home? Just until Techno can figure out what to do with him?

Yeah, that works.

Just take the terrified man back to the god’s home. It’s fine. Maybe he can call the goddess of death to come pick him up or something. No big deal.

I adore this. Assigned Friendship at Death Penalty is such a fun idea. Especially when one friend is a giant terrifying diefic piggie. Does Philza know the god hog can speak? Will Techno's introversion lead to silly charade hijinks. Will Kristin find the whole thing hilarious because she was telling Philza that he needed more friends anyway? So much fun to be had!

Chamomile and lavender tea, maybe?

Oh no, someone dropped Techno into a particularly large, half full teacup. I hope he doesn’t drown.

I think he'll be okay