Batsincastlesociety - Subject

jesus no

how i feel posting my 20-paragraph long, too elaborate that i can't even explain it half the time, OC lore about vampire twinks for my 25 followers (i love you all ^_^)

more KRABTLASBAHCO, hegegehegeghehe. if you're new to this batshit insane series; it is a compilation of rants that i've compiled about simon belmont and his outfits; rating them based on both functionality and fashion sensibility.

this time it's main man. the one and only. ultra cool chronicles simon!!! yaaay :3

((this is the first KRABTLASBAHCO i've posted on this account, by the way! part 1, for his CV1 version, is here. part 2, for his CV2/SQ version, is here.))

once again, the full talk is under the cut! i'm happy you guys have been enjoying this series so far :3 sorry for the wait!! ... i've been quite busy with school and my schedule is much different now than when i started this series during summer break.. (>_<;)

oh. my god. simon are you okay???

don't get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE this design with all my heart just like how i love all of simon's other designs, but that outfit does not look remotely comfortable whatsoever! at least compared to simon's other armours...

first off, no circlet! :( kind of dissappointing; that's one of my favourite staples of simon's outfits. additionally, if the circlet was actually meant for some sort of head protection, and not just for show, it's gone now 💀. so there's definitely something lacking there.

anyway, you can really tell both simon and ayami kojima really love their leathers with this design, haha! it is... everywhere... haha...

now, as i've mentioned before in previous KRABTLASBAHCOs, leather is a very nice staple to armour; it is both durable and strong, yet not as strong as metal, which is something that both the CV1 and CV2 simons have. this simon... has none. the only metal that this guy has on him is from his belt.

granted, chronicles simon does still have some sort of metal accents on the straps under his belt, the studs on his top and bicep band, shorts, and boots, but those are just accents and accessories; not proper metal protection.

i've said it once, i've said it multiple times, and i'll say it again! leather may be both durable and strong, however it is not the strongest material that can be used for armour whatsoever; there are alternatives.

CV1 simon had his circlet(!!! 💞), plate armour, a pauldron (might not be fully metal, by the way it is shaded, however...), the accents on his loincloth-belt apparatus, and his bracers.

CV2 simon was decked out in metal! with his pauldrons, poleyns, couters, and a metal belt. (the skirt-like armour he has along with the belt is definitely metal as well, but i'm not sure what to call it.)

chronicles simon has... a belt. :) definitely a step up in durability, with all that leather, but two steps back in proper protection.

additionally – and this is something i've been thinking of for a while – but is he even wearing anything under there, for fuck's sake?! this kind of applies to all of the simons, but this one especially.

i mean, the top is leather, the shorts are leather; EVERYTHING is leather!! and it is skin-tight!!! that must be annoying to deal with. some sort of chafing, at the very least... it doesn't sound like the most simple-to-deal-with problem. i just feel bad for him.

his top is a little odd. i'm not sure what to call it... some sort of leather turtleneck tank top, for sure, but i'm mostly referencing the red fabric on simon's shirt here. by the way its shaded, it almost looks like velvet, haha! probably a stretch, though...

anyway, the red fabric on his chest is bordered with some metal. not enough to be protective, of course, i'm pretty sure it's just for show, along with the chain. he also has fur on the side, there, which is very interesting to me! i have absolutely no idea what the purpose of that is, either. probably for warmth, because i don't see any main way it can be the most protective garment (except for warmth, as aforementioned, and maaayyybbeeee some off-screen padding? or it's just for a fancy accent.) there's fur on his boots, too, and i'll assume that the only purpose that serves is also for warmth and some sort of softer padding.

there isn't much to say about protection here... i remember a certain mutual (hi, chibi!! ^vv^) mentioned a while ago that the straps on CV1 simon's belt. thingy are good for mobility and protection against slashes, and that actually makes a lot of sense!! i definitely agree with that, although i still have no idea why they're leather specifically, lmao 💀. i mean, i definitely understand the vision but simon dear. you do realize that leather, at such a speed and force and position, is likely going to make you whip your thigh. right. right??? i feel like something like that would definitely shoot simon in the foot less if it was any other cloth!! that's probably just me overthinking though, haha,, ^p^

as for appearance, though? oh. My god. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!! the black, brown and red colour scheme. the fuckass red hair. THE BOOTS. i doubt that the leather is very good for protection, but for fashion sense? it's amazing!!! once again, i have absolutely no clue what that red fabric on simon's chest is called, but god DAMN do i want it in my closet. the belt is also Amazingly Cool and Very Very Awesome. the high-heeled boots, the collared gloves and the cunty pose really remind me of SOTN richter too! and how could i not love being reminded of SOTN richter?

the studs literally everywhere on simon's outfit, although pretty useless in terms of long-term fortitude, are also a very beautiful accent. the corset's a classic, the literal dog collar on his neck is quite hilarious yet let's be real here, it's not that unexpected with a character like simon, and the sword??? also very neat!!

in short, in terms of functionality, i have to give this simon a good 4/10. HOWEVER! he is saved by my bias for simon his wonderful fashion sense, giving this outfit a solid 10/10 for style! :)

"you know what? FUCK simon belmont. he SUCKS he is STUPID and UGLY i Hope He Falls Down In front of his WIFE and SCRAPES HIS KNEE" - the words of an incorrect person

i wonder if i should make a gimmick blog. just for funsies. but idk what it'd be about... idk the real mathias cronqvist posting about damned chicken fries or something