Peter: Mr. Stark, Look! I Found This Really Cool Cat, But They Looked So Sad And So I Kinda Took Them

Peter: Mr. Stark, look! I found this really cool cat, but they looked so sad and so I kinda took them with me so they can eat and now I think I've gotten attached and I really want to keep it.

Tony, on the verge of an aneursym: Peter–Peter, that's a fucking panther.

[S-M;NWH — Interrogation Scene]

Interrogator: We all already know what you did, Mr. Parker.

Peter, biting his lip and looking down:

Interrogator: It's better to admit to them now, it might lessen your punishment.

Peter, sighing: Okay! Okay. You got me. It was me who clogged the toilet last night, but I swear it was an accident, and I tried to fix it, but I just made it worse and it was so embarrassing—

Interrogator:

Tony: I told you! I told you it wasn't me, May!

May: How could've I known?! You're a rich person in a normal apartment, you were more likely to not be used to our bathroom!

Deadpool: Say, what's a less legal, more effective alternative to pepper spray?

Daredevil, without missing a beat: A flamethrower.

Spider-Man, who only wanted to team up for Team Red: *sigh* Guys, his knife barely touched me.

In most social media sites, people try to include so much tags and trending words to get likes, upvotes, hearts, likes retweet, etc.

But on tumblr, even when you don't tag anything, people will always find your bullshit. In fact, they'll comment, heart, and reblog it to let everyone else know they discovered your shitposts, shower thoughts, and conspiracy theories out of pure spite of you saying no one will find it because you didn't tag anything.

And I love it.

Peter: I need to go help my classmates, Mr. Stark! I'll be back in 5 minutes!

Tony, worried dad™: What if you don't get back in 5 minutes?!

Peter, suiting up: Then just wait longer!

Peter: Mr. Stark, can I go ride my bike?

Tony: Do whatever, I'm not your dad.

Also Tony, 2.7 seconds later: Wear your gear, Peter, and not in the streets!