Peter: What If The Actual Reason Why Our Clothes Are Heavier When We Get Out Of The Bodies Of Water Like

Peter: What if the actual reason why our clothes are heavier when we get out of the bodies of water like oceans, is because we carry the weight of the souls of the corpses that drowned in there? Like, they're souls that haven't rested yet, and they can possess, and we're the nearest living thing so they try to attach themselves to us but end up being on our clothes instead.

Tony, crying as he cancels the beach trip: Peter, please stop, I'm already planning a different vacation plan—

I miss seeing them together

Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.

Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.

Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.

Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?

Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?

Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.

Steve: When I was a kid, I used to be so weird.

Bucky: Even now that you're a century old, you're still fucking weird.

Ned: Okay, Peter, let's try this one more time. The topic is personification. The robot was left behind by its' master. How did it feel?

Peter: Happy, because it doesn't like the idea of slavery.

MJ: That's my boy.