The Two Fundamental Truths Of Historical And Contemporary Mankind:

the two fundamental truths of historical and contemporary mankind:

we were just as smart then as we are now

we are just as stupid now as we were then

ok wait, this is my problem whoops

current fan creation landscape is kinda like if you went to a party with a homemade cake and everyone takes a slice and silently thumbs up at you with no attempt to start a conversation except for occasionally some guy sits in the corner with a tape recorder critiquing the cake as though he was a restaurant critic and another guy is handing the cake to an uber driver like "yeah i need you to find a restaurant that makes cake like this so i can have more of it" and the only person that's talked to you in 30 minutes is a very sweet little guy who was like "hey i liked your cake" and then ran away apologizing for bothering you the moment you said thank you.

Alec and Ellie performing Busted from Phineas and Ferb

I need cold spoons in my eye sockets

hot tip: if you claim to want the best for a group of people, yet you are constantly having to fight against that group that you claim to be supporting because they hate everything you say and do... maybe you don't actually give a fuck about them. Maybe they are just props you use to pretend that this moral crusade is actually an act of charity instead of being entirely self-serving.

Queer as in an "identity is fluid and descriptors can be imprecise so I prefer a more general term" sort of way but also queer in a "What are you, a cop?" sort of way.