Maybe Because You Are The Paranoid One ? We Were Just Talking And Don't You Pretend Like You Not Checking

‘ maybe because you are the paranoid one ? we were just talking ⸻ and don't you pretend like you not checking your phone was no big deal , who the fuck forgets to check their phone for five hours , aspen ! ’ counters heatedly , facial expression screaming i'm not stupid. ‘ yeah cause fuck how i'm feeling , right ? who gives a shit . ’ roll of his eyes as he speaks . ‘ she's some random bitch who asked me about how the season is going , god forbid i speak to anyone that isn't you . ’ throws his hands up in irritation , really laying it on thick .

"me?  are  you  fucking  with  me?  i  go  out  with  friends  and  don't  check  my  phone,  you  make  it  into  some  big  deal  and  yet  when  i  ask  you  about  that  bitch  you've  been  talking  to  it's  suddenly  like  i'm  the  paranoid  one?  as  if  i'm  the  person  who's  pushing  you  away?"  femme  scoffs  loudly,  head  shaking  in  complete  exasperation.  "who  is  she?  fuck  all  that  nonsense  about  not  doing  anything  right,  who  is  she  and  why  do  you  like  her  more  than  me  all  of  a  sudden?"

regret sets in at a staggering pace , not one to be mean , it had taken a lot out of him to even put up the front in the first place . her words causing him to crack like an egg . ‘ you know it's only going to make it harder , right ? ’ he means when he inevitably leaves again , to go back to the city . continue his life . the reason for his return to their small town brief , exactly the way he likes it . every corner of the place holding memories he's spent long and hard trying to forget . though the sacrifice of the people he actually likes and has to leave behind never does get any easier . ‘ i didn't mean to be a dick though , ⸻ i mean technically i did but i thought i was doing us both a favour .. i don't wanna hurt you . ’

…                     ❝  i don't     ⸻     i don't know.  ❞ ripley admitted, voice soft but firm, arms crossed and a stubborn tilt to her chin as she spoke. ❝  i know i should have walked away the first time you pushed me away . . . i guess i've just been through fucking worse than your walls. i don't scare easily.  ❞ she let out a small, humorless laugh. this might all be foolish, but she just couldn't let go of him just yet. ❝  or i don't know     ⸻     maybe i'm just a fucking masochist, 'cause i like the way you make me feel. isn't that what we all want, just feel something ?  ❞

hurt shoots across his face , looking away so she won't notice just how obvious it really is . he might have suspected it but does not make him any less taken aback to her speaking the words out loud . ‘ i thought we talked about this . . . that's not me anymore . i've changed . what else do i have to do to prove that to you . ’ frustration weighing heavy on his lips .

she hesitates , lip trembling as if even she didn't know the answer . “ i don't think so . . . not anymore . ”  

eyes roll in frustration , doesn't even deign it worthy to acknowledge her basketball to the head comment because his attitude was not ridiculous , not compared to hers . ‘ oh yeah ? and what tactic is that , aspen ? what else do you want from me ? i can't ever fucking do anything right for you , can i . . . . ’ doesn't mean to raise his voice but he does anyways , vitriol aimed at her directly .

" my attitude ? mine ? are you hearing yourself right now ? you're acting ridiculous --- did a basketball hit you on the head or something ? if you have such an issue with this attitude you should try a different tactic 'cause this ? it isn't working kellan ."

soft pink glow spreads across delicate cheeks as she playfully shoves him after his comment about her binder . ‘ shut up . ’ mumbles with a smile , head shaking with gentle laughter , feigning nonchalance . beneath the surface , a small knot tightening in her stomach , reacting to the way he seems genuinely impressed by her . praise or admiration doesn't come her way often , and when it does , it leaves her feeling awkward , reeling , unable to accept any of it . though she knows she deserves it , the immediate need to belittle herself springs to the forefront . a habit she's been trying to squash . quickly moving on from the intrusive thoughts noa launches into the nuance of how the binder came to be ; ‘ i pretended to be interested in pursuing a career in law enforcement . . ’ starts like its the most casual thing in the world , who wouldn't do that . ‘ so , naturally , sheriff anderson lets me shadow him for a week … and every time he took a bathroom break or decided to play into the cop stereotype by going for donuts , i volunteer to stay behind and file things ... ’ emphasises the words with the shrug of her shoulders and a look of complete innocence . ‘ of course by file things , i mean copy all the relevant case files for myself ⸻ i even hacked his email account so every time he gets an update on any of them , i do too . . ’ finished just as they come to a halt at her house , a slow , sly smile creeping across her lips , just enough to hint at the quiet satisfaction she feels , though makes no effort to flaunt . ‘ you don't have to worry , sid , ⸻ they’re not home . ’ reassurance is offered as she notices his hesitation . ‘ probably won’t be for hours either . they’re down at the church , helping sort donations for the victims’ families , like the good little christians they are . ’ words are spoken with batting lashes and mock prayer hands to drive the point home . ‘ they don’t ever need to know . ’ she smiles , as he jokes about them locking her away , but it doesn't quite reaches her eyes . the tightness in her expression betraying the sadness she fights to conceal . the thought of them catching her with a boy in her room is terrifying . the repercussions dire . not that it'll stop her . bruises hidden beneath long sleeves serve as reminders of what happens when good girls don’t listen . she swallows hard , the action quick , almost imperceptible , pushing down the emotion before it rises too close to the surface . ‘ let’s go . . . ’ she stops at the front door , unlocks it , and takes a step inside . noa pauses and calls out for her mother , a precaution to ensure their safety . voice echoing through the empty house , and when no one responds , she turns , smiling at sid . ‘ coast is clear . ’ still sensing his apprehension , reaches over , grabbing his hand with both of hers , and pulls him inside , swinging the the door shut behind them before quickly making her way up the stairs and into her room . soft click as she locks the door once inside .

…                     for a moment, sidney's brain could barely catch up to her words, hitting him like a semi-truck barreling down the highway at midnight. did she just invite him to her house ? and . . . a binder ? she got a fucking binder for the grisly details of the murders ? sidney felt something warm and dangerous spark low in his gut, a rush of excitement mixed with something he couldn't exactly name. then, an exhale ; releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, a little too shaky, a little too telling. that look in her pretty brown eyes, that stupid toothy grin . . . hell, it unsettled him in the best way he never knew was even possible. and his gaze lingered just a moment too long on the curve of her lips, before his feet moved to follow her, as if drawn by some invisible thread. he didn’t know why it shocked him so much, but maybe that was the thing     ⸻    nobody really expected who they thought was the girl next door you'd see during sunday service to be so deep in this, so ready to run with something dark. and shit, he knew met anyone who could make something like murder feel this alive. ❝  a fucking murder binder ? damn, dovecote. you really don't mess around . . .  ❞ unnerved or impressed, it didn't really matter, because fuck, he was going. he was following. ❝  does it have all the juicy details ? every grisly little bit ?  ❞ and if there was one thing sidney had learned from this godforsaken bumfuck nowhere, it was that once you had found someone who understood the rot and decay just as well as you did, you better keep them near for as long as you could stomach it. still, it was undeniable how his feet dragged the closer they got to noa's house. not at all scared for himself, never that, but sid knew well enough that this probably wouldn't be pretty for her if her parents found out about him being there     ⸻    sullying their good christian house with his filth. hesitation stuck to him like tar, whispering not to get too close, not to walk through that door. and when the house came to view, sidney stopped in his tracks : staring at it as if it was the myers' house in haddonfield. ❝  you do know that your parents will have my head if they found out i was in your house, right ?  ❞ a chuckle as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets, corners of his mouth curling up into a crooked smile. ❝  or worse . . . you're getting locked in your room forever.  ❞ though, part of him already knew that noa didn't really care, that nothing in this world could ever really hold her down. and yet again, he surrendered : stomach knotting up, too curious for his own good, too sick of standing outside of him, quickening his pace to walk beside her. ❝  i guess we better figure it out before they find out then.  ❞

‘ well , they sure do know how to make a girl feel special . ’ sarcasm is heaped on thick , concoction between a laugh and a scoff slipping past her lips as dark hues flick back over to the writings once more . would have definitely taken a dick or set of tits over what now tarnishes previously pristine white walls , at least she would know what they mean . ‘ horror movies ? no , way too scary , not my thing , i don't mess with stuff like this . ’ hand gestures to the giant pentagram adorning the side of the house , head shaking as she explains . ‘ i'm not even supposed to be here , only reason i am is to box up my daddy's house . ’ sigh comes heavy , exhaustion hanging heavy beneath tired eyes . ‘ he passed away last week . . this is his place ⸻ and i mean , it's a small town , right ? news travels fast , maybe they thought there would be something worth stealing inside . which could have been the case if my dad hadn't been the worlds most unbothered man , but whoever was trying to break in might not have known that ... ’ did not care for material things , kept to himself as far as she was aware . . . but they also hadn't spoken in years . could this have been something he was into ? dismisses the thought as soon as it pops into her head , not even bothering to verbalise it , the idea ridiculous . ‘ all i know is i won't be sleeping tonight . ’

"huh?  oh  sorry  ma  —  cairo.  i  just  wanna  get  to  the  bottom  of  this  because  normally  the  rowdy  teenagers  around  here  spray  paint  dicks  or  uh, breasts  on  to  people's  property  not  ...  this."  this  was  entirely  new  to  jericho,  so  no  wonder  the  rookie  had  called  him  to  come  out  and  take  a  look  himself.  "you  a  horror  fan?"  questions  with  a  small  chuckle,  "sure  might  come  in  handy  for  identifying  some  of  these  symbols."  they  weren't  hastily  created  either,  some  of  them  look  so  intricate  his  eyes  start  to  strain  when  he  studies  the  details.  "and  you  think  they  did  this  as  a  ruse  to  get  inside?"  it  didn't  make  sense  to  him,  home  invasions  were  either  meticulous  to  the  point  of  not  noticing  anything  had  been  stolen  until  you  went  to  search  for  it  or  sloppy  and  chaotic.  "do  you  have  anything  in  your  home  they  might  want  to  steal?  any  valuable  items?  did  you  come  in  to  any  money  recently?"  for  the  life  of  him  jericho  couldn't  figure  it  out,  but  one  thing  he  knew  for  sure  was  that  this  job  was  going  to  be  an  asshole  to  write  up.