EmbarrassingMasterlist

Embarrassing Masterlist

Summary: Emerson!Reader (Gareth’s cousin) is having a hard time fitting in at Hawkins. At Gareth’s request, Y/N tries better to be like everyone else. Eddie reminds her who she is. 

Pairing: Emerson! Reader/Eddie Munson. 

What to expect: Give me angst or give me death. Fluff. Humor only if you think I’m funny.

A/N: Unfortunately inspired by true events. 

Just want to clarify that I’m not labeling reader with any sort of personality disorder, autism, or adhd. She just happens to be an combination of my younger self and someone else I knew who struggled with making friends. If you identify with it, awesome. But I’m not intending this to be a representation of a certain specific group. Feedback ‘appreciated. Completed.

*contains Smut

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | *Part 9 | Part 10

Bonus:

*Eddie’s Mistake

Deadly Reunion|Chapter 9

Eddie Munson x female!reader // a stranger things apocalypse au

summary: You and Eddie have been best friends since childhood. But when the outbreak happened five years ago, you were torn from one another in the chaos. but now you’re left alone, after your group was killed by another radical crew, leaving you to seek out what was once home. // zombie apocalypse Hawkins set in 1993

warnings: angst + adult themes w/ descriptions of violence, blood, torture + other zombie apocalypse related issues

word count: 

⪻ previous chapter | next chapter ⪼ | stranger things masterlist

A week.

It had been a week since Eddie watched you walk away from him.

And you still weren’t talking to him.

Not like he hadn’t been trying. It seemed that any time he went looking for you, he’d just missed you.

The first couple of days the fear gripped Eddie’s heart like a vice and grew tighter when he couldn’t find you anywhere in the Camp. When he stopped by the room you shared with Robin, conveniently, you were gone. But the third day when he walked in with Gareth to the cafeteria for breakfast – he instantly found you.

You were sitting at a table with Robin but looked to be within your own mind as you pushed around the food on your tray. Your head was downcast as everyone else at the table around you talked lively. Eddie stood there frozen for a moment. But another part thought he was hallucinating since no one else seemed to interact with you.

Like his fear of losing you had manifested you in front of him.

Your head turned up slightly before your eyes stayed on him. They widened for a quick second before that deep seated rage returned to your eyes. The spark within them made him flinch back slightly. No matter how much Eddie wanted to go to you. He didn’t.

“Damn,” Gareth spoke from beside him, “She’s really fuckin’ pissed at you.”

Eddie sighed deeply at his friend's words, before turning and heading toward the queue to grab some breakfast. The line moved quickly and soon he was sitting at his usual table with Gareth and a few others.

But here is now, days after that, and still hating that you weren’t talking to him.

A part of him was pissed at Gareth for telling you the truth. For beating him in informing you about him and Sarah. It was a topic he wasn’t ready to talk about with you – yet. Her death was still too fresh in his mind. The guilt over it still gnawing away at his heart so much that he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He might not’ve be in love with Sarah, but he still cared deeply. She was also his friend. Someone he’d known nearly his entire life. And like everyone else in his life. She was taken away from him.

Just like you had been all those years ago. The only difference was that he was the one to push you out of his life.

But he got a second chance and it seemed that it was already ruined.

Eddie still thought of that night on your birthday. As you lay with your head in his lap mumbling sweet nothings of love. Finally saying the words, he ached to hear.

But Eddie knew there was no one else to blame but himself for hurting you.

“Chief says we need to head out for another run,” Steve spoke, pulling Eddie out of his thoughts and back to the present.

Eddie sighed deeply and rubbed at the scuff along his jaw that had been growing over the last few days. “We just did a run, what do we need now?”

“Medical supplies,” Steve spoke, resting his hands on his hips. The black you’d given him was starting to fade, only soft yellows and greens around his eye and nose left behind. “Also, we gotta start prepping for the colder months when we’re not gonna go out as much.”

Eddie nodded his head, “Alright, I’ll meet you upfront. Let me grab my gear.”

Eddie’s body already felt tired at the thought of leaving the camp again. Hopper had them going out more and more for supplies that he could’ve sworn they had enough of. Trips were becoming longer, and they were venturing out farther. Hawkins was nearly tapped clean of any valuable supplies for them, so the surrounding towns were their only source. But that was depleting.

But how much longer do we have to keep living like this? Eddie asked himself.

Eddie didn’t take long to grab his pack and a few supplies. He wasn’t sure how long they would be gone, so he over-packed slightly. He grabbed his leather jacket knowing the nights would be cold, along with his bandana. The last thing he grabbed was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter that he slipped into his back pocket.

One of the things Eddie wasn’t expecting as he walked into the front lobby…was you.

You stood toward the outer side of the group when he walked through the doors. You were back in the clothes that he’d found you in. Your eyes met the moment he walked upon the group and that flare of anger was still there. But Eddie couldn’t stop the words that came out of his mouth.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Eddie spoke, his dark brows pulling tightly together as his eyes glared down toward you.

Your back straightened as you turned to him more, “Excuse me?”

Your tone was tight with a slight hiss to it. Eddie recognized that tone. But even knowing he was pushing himself down a deeper hole with you – he didn’t stop.

“What are you doing here?” He asked again, looking around to see everyone was looking toward the two of you in confusion. “You’re not coming with us.”

“I’m sorry, didn’t realize that I need your permission.”

“Hopper assigned her to her tasks, Munson,” Robin spoke, stepping up to stand beside you. Her arms crossed at her chest as she glared at him. "She's part of the supply run crew now."

It took three seconds and observing your body language with Robin to quickly see you two have become closer. It was really a shock since  Robin was your roommate. But that only pissed Eddie off more.

“I don’t fuckin’ care what Hopper assigned her, go, and tell him to change it.” Eddie stepped toward you, his frame looming over you. “You’re not coming with us.”

Eddie’s voice dropped as he spoke that last part, a slight pleading coming into his eyes. You had to remind yourself not to give in, that you were still mad at him. That those large, dark eyes weren’t going to crack the hardened shell you placed around yourself.

“I didn’t ask, nor want, your permission of what I can and can do, Eddie.” You stepped closer to him, looking directly into his eyes and speaking next so only he could hear. “You lose that when you decided to lie to me.”

A part of you could've sworn that a deep flash of pain moved through Eddie’s eyes. But you didn’t give yourself too much time to see, as you pushed around him and moved to stand on the other side. Eddie stood standing in his spot, unmoving, as tension moved through the lobby. It was Steve who cut the tension, clearing his throat to pull everyone back to him.

“We’re going on a supply run for the medical wing. We’re heading out farther towards Redding, a spot we have hit before, and didn’t clear. It’s gonna take a few days so we need to move quickly, we need to move fast.” Steve spoke with clear authority and leadership in his tone. “Now let’s head out, we don’t want to lose light before get to the first camp point.”

One by one the group started to file out of the building and toward the front gate. Steve walked to the front of the group leading the way with someone else close behind him. You learned his name was Mike and he was Nancy’s older brother. He was far from the little kid that you knew from running around the neighborhood. You walked more toward the middle with Robin, Nancy, and Nancy’s boyfriend Jonathan. Another person you met in the week you’d been at the camp.

But behind you, you felt him. His eyes are at the back of your head causing your spine to straighten. You fought with yourself to not look back toward him. To not acknowledge him any more than you already have.

Instead, you kept your eyes forward as you prepared yourself to head out into the world you just found safety from.

-x-x-x-x-

“So, what is going on with you and Munson?” Robin asked, the two of you walking side by side as the group moved through the overgrown woods surrounding Hawkins.

“We’re supposed to be sweeping the area,” You spoke, your gun raised slightly, ready if needed, as your eyes moved through the area looking for a sign of anything.

Have it be a Flayed.

Have it been human.

Either was dangerous.

“I can multitask,” Robin spoke with a soft laugh, “Come on…it’s like suffocatingly tense between you two,”

You sighed deeply, “I found out he lied...kept something from me, and that’s all I’m really going to say about it.”

“Does it have anything to do with your reaction to knowing you’re in Sarah’s old bed?”

You stopped for a moment and shot her a look, before shaking your head and moving further through the area Steve wanted you to sweep.

But Robin took your silence as a sign to continue.

“I know you said the two of you were friends and stuff, but your reaction to finding her stuff tells a little more. Which, ya know, I get if you don’t want to share. You barely know me, and we are only starting to become friends…but I am here…if you wanna talk.”

You stopped for a moment, lowering your gun slightly, “Thank you, I appreciate that, Robin.”

Robin smirked, “What are roomies for?”

There was no denying that over the last few days, Robin had greatly grown on you.

“I don’t see anything, do you?” a voice spoke as they walked upon the two of you, Nancy coming into view as she walked closer.

“Nothing.” You answered quickly, moving to holster your gun into the back of your jeans. “Anyone else?”

“No.” Nancy sighed sweeping her curls from her face, “The others found an abandoned home, thinking of camping out there? Catch some shelter since night is dropping.”

You nodded your head and quickly followed behind Nancy and Robin to head toward the shelter for the night. You couldn’t help but keep your eyes aware looking out for any danger. Your body didn’t relax till you came upon the small home that was tucked within the woods.

When you approached the small home, you quickly noticed how the forest around it was quickly reclaiming it. Moss grew along the sides giving the white siding more of a dirtied look. Mud caked along siding and windows. The front door was surprisingly still attacked but a few of the windows were blown out. It would do for the night. Steve and Eddie were securing the perimeter with Jonathan when you and the others approached.

You didn’t miss the quick glance Eddie sent your way as you walked past him. It was a mix of a few emotions, the one you caught quickly in the depth of his brown eyes was fear and sorrow. But with your emotionless mask still, in place, you walked by and said not a word.

“Night’s falling quickly, let’s get settled inside, get something to eat, and rest. Munson and Buckley, you have the first watch.” Steve spoke, strapping his rifle back across his back. “Not sigh of flayed, think we’re deep enough for cover.”

Eddie nodded his head slightly and moved his glace quickly back over to you. You were standing with Nancy and Robin right outside the home. Your face brightened slightly as you laughed at something Robin said. Again, that flare of anger and jealousy came back up, simply causing your attention as on someone else and not him. Steve caught the tension between the two of you, it was hard to miss especially with how you two were before the group left. And he couldn’t help but feel sorry for Eddie.

“She’ll come around, man,” Steve spoke, so that only Eddie would hear, digging through his bag in search of some jerky he’d packed earlier. “Whatever fight you’ve got going on will be resolved and you’ll be best friends again.”

“I don’t know. I…I fucked up, and…I don’t know how to make it better. It’s like I know her, but I don’t at the same time.” Eddie spoke, shaking his head slightly and rubbing his tired eyes.

“You’ll figure it out,” Steve spoke with more confidence than Eddie was feeling at the moment.

Everyone quickly began to fall into the roles and routine of a campout. You unrolled your sleeping bag and settled in the living room along with Nancy and the others. But even as you tried to lay down and catch some sleep, your mind wasn’t allowing you.

Instead, it was too focused on the fact Eddie was outside on the lookout with Robin at the moment. You stared up at the peeling paint on the ceiling hoping for sleep to take over. It wasn’t long till you cursed under your breath and stepped out into the front of the home again.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” Robin’s voice came from above. You turned quickly to see her on the roof, gun in hand.

“Why are you on the roof? And second, is that even safe?”

“Most likely not, but I get a better vantage point. Plus I’m lighter weight than Munson.” She spoke with a smirk, “Now why are you up?”

“Can’t sleep. Thought I could be useful.”

“Munson in circling the perimeter, sure he could use the company and a second eye.” Robin’s lips turned up slightly with a mischievous grin before turning and continuing her pace on the roof.

“Fuck,” You whispered, before grabbing your gun from your back, checking your ammo, and then sliding it into the back of your pants. Tucked between your back and the waist of your pants. You also made sure to check your cargo pockets for your knife, before moving to find Eddie.

Didn’t take long to find his tall, lean frame moving between the shadows of the trees. The moon bleeds through the tops of the trees and creating a silver glow. Your footsteps were light, Eddie not noticing you till you were nearly on top of him.

“Jesus…” He cursed the moment he turned to head back in the opposite direction, only to see you. “…what the fuck,”

“Isn’t the whole purpose of patrolling being, to be aware of your surroundings?” You spoke, deep sarcasm in your tone.

Eddie sighed deeply, “I didn’t hear you.”

Your brows shot up, “No shit. Good thing I wasn’t a bad guy.”

“My mind been a little all over the place, wasn’t…paying attention.”

You rolled your eyes and moved to head back in the other direction, grabbing your gun in case anything was to happen. In a few passing seconds, Eddie was soon in pace beside you. The silence was thick and uncomfortable as the two of you walked side by side.

Eddie was the first to talk.

“Can we talk about the other night, please?” He asked, his voice soft and timid. The complete opposite of earlier in the day.

“There is nothing to talk about.”

Eddie flinched slightly, internally, from the harsh finality of your tone.

“There is a lot to talk about, a lot that you don’t know.”

“I know enough.” You looked at him slightly, before turning quickly back to scan the forest. “You kept it from me, Eddie. Purposefully. And don’t lie to me and say you didn’t.”

“I wasn’t,” Eddie spoke quickly.

You stopped for a moment and looked at him. Even with just the moon for light, you could see his face. He was being sincere. That remorsefulness was back in his eyes and causing his brow to pinch together slightly.

“I really don’t want to talk about this. You and Sarah were allowed to do whatever you wanted,”  You spoke, unable to keep the bitterness from your tone. “It’s not like you were mine and you cheated on me. I just…just…”

Your mouth opened a few times but no words could form. Eddie moved toward you, till something behind you caught his attention. His back straightened as goosebumps rolled over his flesh. Eddie quickly recognized the staggered, gaunt walk as it moved through the trees severely feet from the two of you. You caught on quickly to the change in Eddie’s body language and knew something was wrong.

“Ed-.”

“Shh,” He interrupted you, keeping his eyes just over your shoulder. “When I tell you to, I want you to head back toward the house, as quietly as you can.” He whispered, his words barely heard.

Your words stopped and choked you as you looked up at him, your grip tightening around your gun. The deep, guttural groan of a flayed soon cut through the tension and instantly made bile rise in your throat. Eddie moved slowly to grab his rifle, cursing any time a noise was made.

It would only take one sound, and the Flayed would know of your location.

It was far away enough to where you had a small chance to get away.

“I’m not leaving you.” You whispered.

“I’m gonna be right behind you, sweetheart.” Eddie spoke, his eyes moving toward you, “Now run.”

You hesitated for only a moment before your instincts kicked in and you were off, running back in the direction of the home. It wasn’t till you were running that you noticed how far you and Eddie had walked from the shelter.

But it hadn’t even been five seconds before the scream erupted from the monster. It had heard you and it was now on the hunt. You couldn’t help the whimper that came from you as the echoing of more screams moved through the forest.

“Run! Fuckin’ run!” Eddie shouted from behind you, the house coming into view. Robin is still perched on the roof.

“It’s a pack! Fuckin’ Flayed” You screamed, pure terror in your tone.

It wasn’t long till gunshots joined in with the screams.

Sooo...that was chapter Nine. please leave a review on your thoughts, predictions of the next, and anything else! I love seeing everyone's comments about how the story is going. Thank you for all your support it means the world to me.

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Bad Omens

Rockstar! Eddie Munson x Rockstar! reader are band mates, their shows are famous for how they flirt on stage and how fans ship them. But it's different off stage, she's dating a famous actor, Hollywood's sweetheart, as Eddie calls him. She thinks this sexual tension with Eddie is an act, but if it was she shouldn't be jealous when she sees Eddie with his groupies, or they shouldn't write love songs about each other and having to preform them.

warnings: cheating, jealousy, groupies, mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, fighting, angst (happy ending), there's a part where reader has a little anxiety attack before going on stage but it's really brief and not very ditailed.

words: 4.1k

a/n: I use 5sos songs as if they are from Corroded Coffin, so imagine them more metal.

It’s the four year anniversary of ‘Corroded Coffin’, the band you joined in your senior year of high school when you best friend Gareth invited you since he knew how much you liked singing —and how great he thought you actually were, he was right apparently — you proudly took the place of lead singer, next to Eddie. At first, the idea was that you’d be the lead singer and Eddie the lead guitarist. But one night in the hideout, you made a cover of a duet, and the way your voices sounded so romantic together, all the chemistry you had on stage, made the changes into Eddie and you being the lead singers. Luckily for you, that night was also the night Richard, your current manager, was in the crowd. And the rest was history.

That night was four years ago tonight. The band is celebrating by presenting a special show in LA. Sold-out within 24 hours.

“How are we feeling tonight, Los Angeles?!” you asked to the crowd in front of you and they all started screaming as you finished the question. “You know, this is a very special night for us, it’s our four-year anniversary!” people shout again. “And we thought: what better way to celebrate it than with you? The ones that made all of this possible?”

“You know, thanks to you, we’re not remembering that night four years ago as just the band that we were in when we were teenagers. Thanks to you, we remember that night as the night everything started, this absolute craziness!” Eddie thanked the crowd as he began playing softly on his guitar the next track on the set-list. “So, to show you our appreciation for you, we’re gonna play one of your favourites: this is ‘No Shame.’ I wanna see you all jumping!”

 “Angel, with the gun in your hand. Pointing my direction, giving me affection” You started singing. The crowd went wild as they jumped and sang along with you. Until you reached to one of your favourite parts of this song. “I love the way you're screaming my name. Alright, I wanna hear you all scream for Jeff!” You said as the boys played the instrumental before the bridge. The crowd started screaming, just like you asked them. “Now scream for Luke!” you pointed the mic to their direction and they began screaming again. “For Gareth?!” The same reaction. “I wanna hear you scream for Eddie!” you said with a smirk and somehow people were screaming even more. Eddie smirked too. “Now scream for me” you finally said in a sweet voice and people shouted just as hard.

“Go on and light me like a cigarette. Even if it might be something you regret.” Eddie continued singing his part as he walked towards you. “You got me now, now, now. Swallow me down, down, down, down.” He sang facing you and actually going down himself until he ended kneeling in front of you. You laughed at this and he gave you a smirk. You continued singing your part shaking you head.

You could see one of the signs the fans had brought that said: “Eddie, just kiss her already.” The girl putting the sign up every time you sang together onto the same mic, or when he came behind you dancing to you while you sang.

Your shows were known for all the flirting you and Eddie did on stage. The chemistry, the sexual tension palpable even for the crowd. Things like those — or when you sing a love-song looking directly at each other; or like the times that when the show ends, Eddie grabs you over his shoulder or bride-style and runs off stage with the rest of the band — are what made your shows so famous.

As you walk backstage tonight, sweaty and agitated thanks to the great show, you find your boyfriend, Rudy, waiting for you to finish. You run to him with a smile and hug him as you arrive.

“That was a great show, sweetheart! You look so hot tonight” he complements you.

“Even now that I’m all sweaty?” you joke.

“Especially now that you’re all sweaty” he responds. “Got me thinking I could join you for you bath tonight, right babe?” he whispers into your ear only for you to hear. But your giggles make it kind of obvious.

Eddie rolls his eyes as he walks pass you, but you don’t notice.

Rudy is a famous actor, he’s in a well-known sitcom that is now on its third season. He was also in a few rom-coms that were secretly your favourite. You met six months ago on an award show where he came up to you and told you he was a big fan of the band and proceeded to flirt with you the entire night. And you were internally fangirling a bit.

Your relationship with Eddie was more difficult to define. You had kissed him a few — lots — of times. But mostly on the starts of the band, and mostly drunk or high at some party you were in, never public. The flirting on stage happened mostly because at first, you were always flirting. On and off stage. There's still flirty comments now and then to make you feel better, or just to make each other a little nervous. Obviously the making out stopped now that you have Rudy, but the flirting hasn't, especially on stage. And it wasn't something very pleasing for Rudy.

He didn't consider himself as a jealous guy. But if you have to watch the news about what your girlfriend and his band-mate did on the last show of Corroded Coffin, or actually going to one of the concerts only to stare at how your girlfriend is practically grinding on Eddie while they dance and sing together to one of their songs. It definitely makes you feel it's too much.

You've had countless of talks explaining it's just for show, it's what made your concerts so famous and why people go to them. That makes him feel better for a little bit, but then he feels the insecurities rising back the next concert he attends.

The thing is, you really did believe it was all for show, no actual feelings. That was until Eddie started to pay more attention to the groupies. A thing that he didn’t use to do just a few month before, usually Gareth or Luke were the ones who always had a groupie waiting for them backstage, or at every party you went to. But as Eddie began to constantly have a different girl on his lap, making out with them instead of dancing with you, flirting with them instead of you. You began to feel an uncomfortable sensation in your chest.

“Hey, sorry I’m late” Jeff enters the studio. “Where’s Eddie?” he asks once he sits down and notices there’s still one missing.

“Not here yet” Gareth answers him. You could insinuate why he was so late but didn’t want to think much about it, it would only make you angry.

But your insinuations end up being true, giving that thirty-five minutes later you see the missing member of the band entering the studio. “Sorry, my bad, I forgot we were meeting today”

“Yeah, either way, we called your house several times with no response” you complained.

“Wasn’t at mine’s, I heard the messages you left me when I got home and came running”

“What kept you busy all afternoon if it wasn’t work?” you asked showing how angry you were at his irresponsibility. You weren’t expecting him to answer, you weren’t expecting what the answer was, or the smug smirk on his face while he said it.

“I think the actual question should be: who kept me busy”

“You’re gross” you said cringing and ignoring the uncomfortable feeling in your chest again.

“Hey, you don’t hear me complain every time I see you making out with your little boyfriend: Hollywood’s sweetheart”

“Yeah, because I don’t do that when I have to be at the studio making a new album, I do that on my own free time!”

Eddie was about to say something back but Jeff interrupted.

“Okay! We could be here the rest of the afternoon fighting or we could take the time we have left and actually work on something!”

And the rest of the afternoon was in fact spent on writing and recording with some angry stares between Eddie and you from time to time.

“Who wrote this?” Eddie asked you reading one of the papers with some random lyrics on them. Luke and Jeff went to get some coffee for everyone and while Gareth worked on revising what you had just recorded, you and Eddie stayed working on more lyrics.

I don't wanna get older without your head on my shoulder.

Lost in the day to day you kiss away the pain.

It's not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two. Just me, just you.

“I did” you answer. It wasn’t more than three sentences that came to you while waiting for Eddie.

“Inspired by the actor?” he asked sarcastically.

“What?”                                                      

“Your boyfriend, I mean. It’s really romantic” he explained.

“No, ‘s just something I thought of, no one in mind”

“Mmh, that’s weird. Are you not inspired by him?” he insisted.

“What? Eddie, I can write something that it’s just on my mind. I don’t need to be in love to write love songs. Or do you write romantic songs about your groupies?” he was really getting on your nerves today.

“No,” he laughs at that comment. “but why do you act so defensively? Don’t want me to know that the song is actually for me?”

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely”

“Do you have a crush on my boyfriend or something? Cause you can’t seem to stop bringing him up randomly” you ask ignoring his previous response.

“On him? No. On you maybe” he jokes…I think.

“So you’re jealous” you point out.

“That depends if this song is for him or for me” he says expecting you to tell him the truth. You blush a little.

“None” you lie, he notices. “Nothing Shakespearean about it”

“I like that”

“What?”

“Not the way you just lied to me, definitely” he says, “’nothing Shakespearean’” he thinks for a few seconds and you just stare at him waiting, admiring a little. “No tragedy at the end, no nothing Shakespearean. It all comes flooding back again” he sings slowly.

“My dear devoted delicate” you sing too, finishing that line. He smiles and writes it down. You keep working on that song forgetting about the previous conversation.

That same weekend, a party thrown by a singer that was friends with the band. So you decided to go for a little while. You went only with the boys, your boyfriend was working late this weekend. Despite both being on the same city, fortunately. That didn’t mean that you would always have lots of time together, unfortunately.

You did some shots with the boys, danced with them for a while, really having a good time. Eddie surprisingly rejected the girls who came looking to steal him away. So you could actually enjoy a night out with him. And you really did.

“Hey, here you are!” Gareth says when he finds you.

“Here I am” you say with a smile.

“And here she stays, don’t come stealing her away” Eddie warns him.

“I just come to give her a message from her dear boyfriend, he called on Jeff’s phone, and he said he’s off work early and if you want, he’ll come to pick you up” he said rising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, seriously? Yeah, okay. Tell him to come”

“Sure thing” he leaves and you turn to grab your coat.

“Seriously? You’re just gonna leave?” Eddie asks you.

“Well, we haven’t have much time together lately, that’s all” you explain.

“I can’t believe it” he mumbles to himself, but you manage to hear him.

“What’s your problem?”

“It’s just that we were having a really good time together, and now you’re leaving me for him at the first chance you get” he complains.

“Don’t get mad, it’s just that he’s my boyfr-“ you try to explain again, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“Yeah, your boyfriend, I don’t need a reminder”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know if you noticed but I’ve been rejecting every girl who came here asking for me because I wanted to spend time with you, I was actually having a good time. But its fine, I guess you always prefer him over me” he says angrily.

“What the fuck are you talking about ‘him over you’? And I didn’t ask you to reject any of them, go and fuck them in the bathroom for all I care, don’t let me stop you!” you meet his tone.

“You don’t have to stop me because I’m not the one leaving you to go fuck”

“He’s my boyfriend and these are just one night stands that you don’t even care enough to learn their names!” you can’t believe the comparison.

“I know he’s your fucking boyfriend! I don’t need you to remind me that every minute”

“So what do you want from me?!” you shout. Patience already lost when he started arguing again.

“To stay with me for once! To pick me over him for once! Even if it’s just to talk and drink together!”

“To pick…? Eddie I can’t do this right now, he’s probably at the door already” you say and leave. He watches as you were closing the door, if he ran he could probably stop you and apologize for his ways, maybe even convince you to stay. But he didn’t, just as you didn’t stay with him. You left. Picking Rudy over him once again.

You try to ignore Eddie as much as you can ignore someone who’s in a band with you. Which was obviously not much. You had to see him in some talks you had with your manager this week about the new album. You avoided his eyes that so badly wanted to meet yours. Made sure that you arrived somewhat late so you didn’t risk being just the two of you waiting for everyone else to arrive. Talk about the things you needed to discuss, and then leave with Jeff so he could drive you home. So yeah, not more than hi’s and bye’s between you two.

Except on Friday.

“Okay, if that’s all for today, I should get going” Jeff announced. “You coming with me?” he asked you and you nod, getting up with him.

“Bye guys, see you next week” you finally say and walk out of the studio. But when you get outside, you hear someone calling your name just to turn around and meet Eddie.

“Hey, wait. Can we umm, talk for just a second?”

You turn around hesitantly to meet Jeff’s gaze and he nods to then walk to his car to give you two some privacy.

“Listen, what I said the other night, umm. I’m not gonna lie now and tell you that it wasn’t true or that I was just drunk. I want to apologize for how I said everything” he confesses.

“Eddie… I said it the other night already. I can’t do this, whether you like him or not, I’m with Rudy and I love him” you say looking down or anywhere else but him. You couldn’t do it, you can’t believe he was making you do this, this will change everything between you two. Your whole dynamic.

If he notices how uncomfortable you are, he doesn’t say anything and lets you walk away to Jeff’s car.

That weekend you don’t see the boys at all. Just stayed home working on some more songs. On Monday you are decided to go to the studio confidently, not really wanting the dynamic between you and Eddie change since that would affect the whole band.

You show the guys two new songs that needed some changes but had some potential. Eddie shows one of his songs too, but as he says it’s finished, you work on yours.

After a few hours of working on finishing the lyrics to your songs, you move to Eddie’s which was apparently ready and approved by the guys. You didn’t have much time to read it all when they were telling you to get inside the booth and listen to the demo.

You get in the booth, the instrumental starts from your headphones and you listen to Eddie’s demo on the song while reading the lyrics.

So this is where we are. I should've seen it coming. Every time we say goodbye, I say hello again […]

I cried in your dark brown eyes for the thousandth time 'Cause you love somebody. I died when you left that night for the thousandth time 'Cause you love somebody else

I tried to stop the door as it was closing, it was closing

Can't help the way I keep ignoring every omen, every omen

Heaven knows I should let go. It's nothing that I don't already know […]

We go 'round again, we jump back in bed. That's what you do when you love somebody. These bad omens, I look right through them. That's what you do when you love somebody

Your mouth was opened in surprise. Your mind going ten miles per hour. Your heart stopped. This couldn’t be about you. He wouldn’t. But how can you be sure?

“Jeff, give me five minutes, I need to ask Eddie something first” You get out of the booth and you see his scared eyes as if he was caught. You walk to another room and he follows you.

“Eddie? What is this new song?” you ask without thinking much. That was definitely not the best way. You notice your thoughts were true the moment you see his face and he stands there quiet. “Is this about me?”

“I can explain-“

“No, I think this explains it very well already” you refer to the paper in your hand.

“I just wrote what I was feeling and thinking this weekend. I just let it all out” he tries to excuse himself.

“And were you really expecting us to put it in the album?!”

“It’s a good song! It’s emotional and-“

“And it screams our name!” You don’t let him finish. “What do you think it’s going to be the reaction when Rudy hears this?! Do you think he’s not gonna notice?!”

“Do want my honest opinion? I don’t care!” he freaks out too. “I hated him ever since he started flirting with you that night, and I kept hating him every time he would kiss you, or complement you telling you how hot you look or how amazing your voice is, because I want to do those things! You can hate me all you want, but that song is how I feel and it’s the truth”

“And do you really expect me to sing this song about me?! Are you really gonna make me record it and then sing it in front of thousands of people as if the lyrics are not about me?!” you really cannot believe him right now.

“How about ‘Older’?” he asks out of nowhere.

“What?” you ask angrily.

“Tell me that song is not about me and we forget about my song” he challenges you.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Tell me that song is about him and I’ll forget about this one”

You stay quiet. You could just lie to him but you fear he’s gonna see right through you. Apparently you take too much time debating whether to lie to him or not, that he’s already been confirmed.

He walks over to you and tries something that his mind was screaming him to do, praying that you don’t slap him in the face. He walks to you, grabs your face in his hands and kisses you like he’s been waiting to. Like he wanted to do every time you sing together on stage, when you sing into the same mic, when you sing the lyrics to each other, when you get out of stage feeling all that adrenaline but he can’t because you go running to your boyfriend.

He thanks all of the Gods he’s never believed in when you slowly put your hands on his hair and melt into the kiss. He’s never liked when people touch his hair, but with you he’ll even let you shave it off if you want.

The kiss slowly brakes but you stay as close to each other, still holding each other for the next few minutes until he can’t take it anymore and asks what’s on his mind.

 “Why did you write it?” he whispers. “You lied to me when you said you loved him?”

“No, I do love him… but, it’s different than the love I feel for you” his heart brakes a little.

“Who do you love more?”

“I don’t know” you finally respond.

You decide to record the song. It was still painful, but when your manager heard it he told you that it should also be a single, it was going to be a hit. You thought that maybe it was for a reason.

When you could get a hold of your boyfriend, you asked him to meet you at your house. You came clear, told him about the kiss and your mixed feelings. You can’t even start to explain the pain it caused you to be the one breaking his heart like this. But you couldn’t love him the way it was needed, not while you still had Eddie. He obviously broke up with you, very sad and angry. You cried for weeks.

Things with Eddie weren’t better. You did love him more, you knew that. But you needed time to forget about Rudy before even deciding what to do with Eddie. There were still a lot of cons that made you doubt about your relationship, like being in the same band as him, for starters.

He helped you through your break up and held you when you cried for Rudy. He even helped you write a song for him. It wasn’t a song asking for a second chance or anything like that. Just saying sorry and hoping that he would ever be able to forgive you for this. You did love him in the end, just not enough.

When the album was finished months later, it was a success. Luckily though, could you imagine going through all of this just for the album to suck?

After that you announced a world tour.

“Just breath, here, have some water” your manager tried to help your nerves before going on stage for the opening show of the tour.

“I need Eddie, call him!” you managed to say.

“Okay! Okay!” he ran looking for him and then you saw someone running back to you.

“I’m here, sweetheart” now it was your turn to run to him, hugging him thigh around his waist, he wrapped his arms around your neck and back protecting you. You could breathe again.

After a few minutes he made sure you were calmed and then asked you what happened.

“Just… It’s an important album for me, I don’t know if I can sing all those songs as if they didn’t have meaning, I don’t know if I’m ready yet” you explained with your breaking voice, tears in your eyes waiting to fall down.

“Listen, you’re gonna be amazing just like you always are, a fucking rockstar if I ever saw one. I know how meaningful these songs are, but remember I’m right there next to you singing too, just come grab my hand if it gets too much. But we’ve rehearsed, and you did fucking great as ever!”

“But he’s probably gonna see this, or, or people are gonna see if it gets too much and I start crying or have a fucking breakdown”

“You’re not gonna have a breakdown, sweetheart. I’ll be right there next to you, if it gets too much just make a sign and I’ll finish the song, it’s not gonna be as great cause I don’t have the amazing voice that you do, but I’ll manage” he jokes.

“Yes, you do! I’m so in love with your voice!” you correct him.

“You are?” you nod. “Then just listen to me, if it starts getting too much, just focus on my voice, on my face, on me, only on me”

You nod again, feeling better. “I love you so much” you say.

“I love you more” and before you tell him that’s not true, he kisses you, a kiss that makes you forget about everything, even that you have to out on stage in two minutes.

“Hey, lovebirds! You have to go out and play now, continue the flirting up there!” your manager yells.

“Anyway, you and Harrington can utilise your time and do something productive, like cleaning the popcorn machine,” Murray waved a hand, distracted, knocking his coffee mug dangerously close to the computer. 

The popcorn machine hadn’t worked since 1973 but you didn’t bother mentioning that, too hung up on the other name that Murray had lumped yours with. “Harrington?” You glared between your boss and Robin, who was now positively morose. “Steve? Steve’s on the late with me? No. No.”

Murray laughed, a mean cackle that told you there wasn’t really any point in arguing, but you tried anyway. “Murray, please, c’mon. Can’t Argyle do the late? Carver? Literally anyone else?”

The man snorted, finally turning on his computer chair, the wheels protesting and he was grinning at you, gaze amused through his wire rimmed glasses. “They’re busy.”

BAD FOR BUSINESS LEVEL TWO COMING 10/4

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Synopsis | Following Friday’s events, Eddie Munson was on a mission to apologize to you, though everything fell short when your life began to crumble in a matter of hours.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Content Warnings | Swearing, yelling, crying, self-deprecating thoughts, violence, experienced anxiety and panic attack, mentions of childhood abuse and neglect, and brief mentions of blood, body shaming, and non consensual touching.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Author’s Note | For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to need all of you to ignore the blatantly unrealistic process of making a book in this story, lol. If there are any necessary warnings that were accidently left out, please feel free to let me know!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Chapters | One. Two.

Whatever mantra of the Munson Doctrine Eddie had been feeding himself to believe about the highest of the social hierarchy embedded within Hawkins High was really starting to fall short, specifically when your pretty face started monopolizing every one of his thoughts imaginable. 

As much as he’d like to admit otherwise, Eddie Munson liked staring at your face, and it was really starting to piss him off just how much he really liked doing it. And the situation only became worse when he steadily watched your wonted bewitching smile fade into a disheartened look of dejection, because that following weekend after your impromptu photo shoot with Hellfire, became the worst week of your life.

And Eddie Munson watched it entirely unravel right in front of him.

It never really occurred to Eddie just how much he’d casually gawk at you prior to said photo shoot. I mean, you were the face of the school, of course, you were hard to miss when you practically lit up the halls with your smile. And that’s merely what Eddie had chalked it up to; your popularity involuntarily placed you at the forefront of his attention. It wasn’t the small strands of baby hairs that perfectly framed your face, whether you decided to keep your hair natural, or styled it for the fun of it; it wasn’t your enthralling eyes that seemed to almost squint close because your cheeks became so full of delight with your spellbinding laugh; and it definitely wasn’t your apologetic reassurance that everything was okay to the kid from the drama club who accidentally bumped into you, causing you to drop your books, and you gave Andy McAvoy a stern talking to when he tried to defend your honor with violence against the poor kid. 

No, it was none of that that caught Eddie Munson’s attention to you (he forced himself to believe).

But now, things are different.

He’d actually gotten a chance to talk to you—yes, that cafeteria instance was the first time Eddie Munson had ever actually spoken to you, and he berated you with dehumanizing comments—and he blew it with his rash decision to automate you into a box of prissy cheerleaders that had nothing better to do than gossip with their friends- ah yes, that box, that was formulated by sexist losers who used it to justified their mean actions against innocent teenage girls. Oh, fuck, Eddie cringed to himself at the sudden self-realization. 

He had to fix this. He didn’t even have to confess his feelings—which, he didn’t have *cough* *cough*—he just had to apologize for his mistakes. What he wanted to believe to be patronizing was actually sincere on your part, and you didn’t deserve any of his degrading tirade. And his conscience was letting it be known. Resuming the campaign had been a shit-show that Friday, when all he could focus on was your crying face. It became even worse when he realized that he’d never actually seen you drive—always painfully third-wheeling with Jason Carver and Chrissy Cunningham, or silently pleading to Patrick McKinney to control Andy McAvoy when he felt entitled to nonconsensually feel you up in his convertible when they drove you to school—meaning you were probably left crying alone at night waiting to be picked up, or worse, walking home. And you did it just for him. For his friends. To be included in some stupid fucking yearbook, because he made a big deal out of it in the first place.  

Oh, shit, he was an awful fucking person, Eddie thought.  

So, come Monday morning, he would apologize. He had all weekend to find the right words, rehearse his apology to perfection, and plan when to actually say it to you. 

But Eddie Munson never got to correctly apologize to you on Monday. 

Because aforementioned, Monday was the start of the worst week of your life, and he got scared and simply watched everything happen.

- 

“No running in the halls, young lady.” Mr. Long sternly reminded, as you zoomed past him.

“Sorry, sir.” You weren’t sorry. The second he turned the corner, you picked up the pace and ran to the newspaper room, frantically attempting to shove the slender key into the slot with shaky hands. 

Earlier on Saturday, the Yearbook Committee had worked to finish the final draft of the Hawkins High 1986 Yearbook, and with the team’s effort, you all concluded the first official copy that held the recognition of all staff and students intertwined with a school year’s worth of memorabilia, squished between the glossy green and orange cover that encapsulated Hawkins High. 

And now, you were about to destroy it. 

Sixty minutes. You had sixty minutes. You managed to wake up early that Monday morning, practically running to school, and situating yourself within the newspaper room—sweaty and exhausted—an hour early before the bell rang to commence the school day. In truth, you’d like to say you were a badass, and demolished the yearbook with no regrets, but reality had quite literally sucked, and you were panicking for a solid five minutes before you came to a consensus. 

It had to be destroyed- well, not destroyed, just unbinded. God, you were such a dramatic coward. 

See, that Saturday afternoon with the Yearbook Committee, you had done your part, you really did. You gathered photos, helped have them printed, assisted Nancy Wheeler with the placement of pages, and took over binding the book together when Fred Benson’s scrawny hands cramped into oblivion. You also may have—very discreetly—had Hellfire’s picture printed, created an entirely new page to fit them between the Glee and Math Club, and it was then you realized you didn’t even know half of their names. It had never occurred to you on Friday night that—with the exception of Eddie Munson, Lucas Sinclair, and Mike Wheeler—you never caught the names of the other four members, prompting you to lose precious time after having to locate their stupid names in the student registry for identification—they weren’t stupid, you were just really frustrated at that point.

And now, on this fine Monday morning, you persevered through blistering callouses, contracting muscles, and sore knuckles to unbind and bind back the yearbook with an additional page within the “Hawkins High’s Clubs” recognitional section.

Hellfire’s page.

And it was perfect. 

The pages were still intact with their crisp stiffness of that of a newly unopened book, and you cleaned off any smudges that impaired the quality of work within the creation. You stood back. You couldn’t help the soft giggle that left your lips at the mere sight of Hellfire sticking out like a sore thumb against the formality of the other photos—in true Hellfire fashion. But there it was. Their title, their photo, and their names that gave them the minimal ask to simply be acknowledged in a school that consistently disregarded their beings, and you were happy they finally got it. They deserved it. Even if Friday’s event left you crying alone in your bed feeling awful. It was worth it. Your thumb gently caressed the smooth page of their photo—Eddie’s photo—and reminisced on that night.

Had you actually done something terrible? Was Eddie right to call you out on your actions? You certainly knew you hadn’t caused this entire commotion out of pitiness, though you understood where he may have interpreted it as such. I mean, even though you never did anything, your friends made his life a living hell, villainizing his differences, casting him as a danger to society, affecting his life beyond just a superficial high school social life. It was true torment. 

You understood the facade which Eddie Munson had to put on to protect himself, but what you didn’t understand was the sudden shallowness that appeared when you thought you proved yourself to be more than just a ditzy cheerleader. Why were you even trying to prove yourself to some guy? Eddie Munson was an awful person. Right? He yelled at you, judged you, degraded you, and all for nothing- well, as far as you knew. So yeah, Eddie Munson was an awful person. You may have understood him, but he was still an asshole. You’d done your part, adding Hellfire to the yearbook, and that was that. That was all you needed to do. You no longer had to think about his stupid feelings, his stupid hair—which you totally didn’t want to run your hands through—his stupid brown eyes that made you shutter as they bore into yours, and his stupidly beautiful smile. You also kinda wondered how his hands might feel on your-

“What are you doing here?”

Jesus Christ, how long has Nancy Wheeler been standing there? You didn’t even hear the door open. 

“Uh, um, j-just looking at the, uh, yearbook?” You mumbled. You wished you had better control over your facial expressions, because right now, Nancy Wheeler was eyeing the fuck out of your worried guise. 

“You came to school early just to see the yearbook?” She questioned. 

“W-well, yeah, I mean, isn’t that why you’re here early? …Right?” You prayed.

Nancy blinked. “Yeah, I guess, just had to make sure everything was correct before Fred takes it to make copies.”

“Oh, Fred’s here?” You piqued with interest. 

Fred Benson didn’t actually pique your interest all too much—though, it was quite fascinating seeing how fast his slender fingers would cramp after just a couple minutes of working—but he did give the perfect escape from Nancy Wheeler’s captious glare. 

“Uh, yeah, he’s out front waiting for the book-”

“I’ll hand it to him!” You interjected, watching her face scrunch with confusion. You could only awkwardly laugh, “You know me and Fred,” you zoomed right past her, “just always so, uh… tight.” And you left without further explanation. 

Shoving Mr. Long’s word of chastisement right up his ass, you ran down the empty hall, yearbook held tightly in your tired hands, as you rejected any of Nancy’s calls for you to come back. Reaching the double glass doors, you spotted Fred mindlessly tweaking with his camera in the front seat of his car.

“Fred!” You could visibly make out the bewildered “huh” that fell from his gaping mouth from your sudden appearance. “Fred, here take this and go!” You shoved the yearbook past the small crack of his window. 

“W-wait, didn’t Nancy want to che-”

“No, she sent me to give this to you!” You urged. “And she said go now, or else the copies won’t be done in time!” My god, the entirety of this situation had you lying more than you ever had in your life. 

“But the distributors don’t close until six-”

“Fred, I don’t care!” You whined. “Do you really want to make Nancy upset?!” If your calculations were correct, Nancy Wheeler’s flats were currently speed walking—she was one to follow the rules—past Mrs. Durberry’s science classroom, meaning you had ten more seconds until she appeared. 

“Well, n-no-”

“Then drive! Now, please!” He scrambled to turn his car on, and luckily, the old piece of junk managed to roar alive with a heavy blow of carbon dioxide, and you heaved watching Fred Benson skirt past the incoming wave of students on bikes and cars, leaving tire tracks on the cracked pavements. When he came back, you’d be sure to apologize for demanding him so aggressively.

Nancy Wheeler screamed your name. 

Turning around, she came pummeling towards you with a might of pure irritation. “What the hell was that?! I didn’t even get to check the book!”

You huffed with exhaustion. It was only 8:18 a.m and it had already been a long day. “Nance, come on, I’ve been on the Yearbook Committee for the last three years, don’t you trust me by now?” Admittedly, guilting Nancy probably wasn’t the best option, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

“I don’t care how long you’ve been in the committee, I have the authority to make final calls, not you!” Gee, you really had an act for getting people to yell in your face. Were you actually the problem?

“Look, I understand, but I promise everything was perfect with the yearbook. I mean, come on, you saw the finished product on Saturday when we completed it.” You reasoned. 

Nancy took a deep breath to regulate herself. “This is your only strike.” She pointed a finger at you like a child. “You pull something like this again, and you're off the committee. Understand?”

You swallowed thickly. The trouble you went through just for Eddie Munson- his friends. Just for his friends. “Yes, I understand.” You submitted quietly. “But I promise, the book was fine, everything is going to be perfectly okay.”

Everything was not perfectly okay.

Because unlike your little white lie of being “tight” with Fred Benson, he actually was with Nancy Wheeler, and, boy, did he rat you out when he paged through the printed copies of the yearbook and found the seven believed satanic cultists mischievously smiling right back at him, tainting the committee’s precious work. 

-

It was in the midst of your A.P U.S History class when the staticy call of your name over the intercom interrupted Mr. Whitney’s lecture of the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, and prompted you to the principal’s office at 10:57 a.m. Now, it wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Principal Higgins to often call you down as you were a valued student representative of Hawkins High, though you quickly knew your visitation had nothing in relation to an honor medal or scholarship award. No, it became quite evident that such subject matter was beyond any congratulations to you, because upon entering, you were faced with a choleric Nancy Wheeler, displeased Principal Higgins, and timid Fred Benson. You were fucking screwed, I mean, Principal Higgins quite literally had a yearbook in his hand. Crazy part of it all is that a good third of your being actually believed you may have gotten away with it, but they managed to find out in a matter of two fucking hours. Who were you kidding?

There was only so much nonchalant-ness you could mask, though your previous revelation of being unable to control your facial expressions was really biting you in the ass, and your insistent cracking under pressure was palpable. 

Your wide eyes flashed between everyone as they stared you down. You didn’t speak. You couldn’t even manage to speak. And they didn’t speak. Why wasn’t anyone speaking?

“Aw, you miss me already, Higgy-”

Everyone’s attention snapped at Eddie’s sneering voice as he strutted his grand entrance, though he was quick to flinch back in surprise when he saw everyone looking at him. And you, shit you were here! You were here looking at him. He’d been searching for you all morning just to apologize, and now you were here… with everyone… why was everyone here?

“Now that I have everyone situated,” Principal Higgins cleared his throat, “I’d like to clear up a matter that has been brought to my attention. I’m sure as you all are well aware of, an unauthorized change has been made to our yearbook and I’m looking to get to the bottom of it.” Higgins turned to you, “Ms. Y/L/N,” he spoke with such care, “this is a safe place for honesty. Did Mr. Munson subject you into making these changes?” With a dramatic slam to his desk, the yearbook was turned open to showcase Hellfire’s designated spot on the page.

“What?!” Both you and Eddie questioned in unison. 

“I didn’t “subject” her to shit!” He was quick to rightfully defend. 

“Language!” Principal Higgins was even quicker to yell back. 

The atmosphere was taut, and it felt like their judgmental stares were swallowing you into an endless blackhole of utter disappointment and failure. You couldn’t even muster up the courage to meet their gaze, simply staring at the old rug beneath your sneakers, wishing it’d come alive and consume you already. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, is that true?” Principal Higgins lectured you.

A part of Eddie actually wished you would have lied and accused him of being the aggressor while you were the helpless victim, because that was the usual reality of Eddie Munson: to be denigrated. It would have justified his previous beratement against you from Friday, it would have supported his initial beliefs about you, it would have cleared him of being an asshole, and most of all, it would have changed the way he viewed you, from a genuinely beautiful person inside and out that took a sincere interest in bringing simple recognition to him and his friends to a cold-hearted superficial bitch that chalked up this elaborate plan as a vendetta with your jock friends.

But Eddie Munson knew you weren’t like that.

Which only made it hurt worse when he watched you pain through the sting of your manicured nails stabbing into your palms and your teeth sinking into your tender lip.

“Y-yes, that’s, uh, true, sir.” Your voice was so delicate, Eddie was ready to jump in and just take the blame. “He didn’t make me do anything, it was, uh, all me. I lied, and made him and his friends take the photo. And, well, I, uh, added the page and told Fred to print it.”

You shuddered at the sudden slap of the book, as Principal Higgins closed it with much despondency against you. “And is there valid reasoning as to why?!” Principal Higgins wasn’t one to be known for his placidness and he was quick to make that apparent. “You are the best student at this establishment, you should not be falling under influence of a hooligan like Mr. Munson! How have you fallen so naive all of a sudden?!”

You were really tugging on Eddie’s heart the way your eyes grew round with panic, completely helpless to the grown man scolding you, just as he did last Friday. And while he may have caused it the initial time, he’d be damned to watch it happen to you again.

“Hey, look, you can insult me all you want, but you don’t have to yell at her like she made some dire mistake!” Eddie lambasted Principal Higgins, far more harsh than any regular tone Eddie used when he was regularly being reprimanded. 

Higgins could only scoff in disbelief. “Vandalizing school property isn’t a mistake to you, Mr. Munson?! Well, given your grotesque track record of uncivilized activities, it seems as though I’ve answered my own question!” He sneered back with intended offense.

“Please, ‘vandalizing school property?!’” Eddie mocked. “She fucking put our picture in the yearbook, and for good reason, too. You’re the one at fault here, excluding students from recognition!”

The thudding sound of your heartbeat was completely muting you from the onslaught of shouts that was suffocating you in the tight room. While Nancy Wheeler was beginning to contemplate if telling Principal Higgins was too far, Fred Benson was merely watching with joy that none of the blame was being casted on him, and you, well, your body was racking with stiffness, as it suddenly felt like your airway was tightening every breath out of you. Your hands began shaking by your side, unable to control the instantaneous wave of trepidation, as everything was beginning to blur around you. 

And no one was noticing. 

“I have rightful reasons to exclude your gang of misfits from my yearbook!” Principal Higgins walked from his desk, standing against Eddie with pure spite in his eyes. “You and your posse of cons and aberrations have done nothing but taint the reputation of our school and town, running around like imbeciles who have nothing better to do than waste their lives away! And I will not stand to have you be associated with the work I’ve done to correct this school from delinquents like yourself!”

Chest heaving and nostrils flared, the Eddie Munson from the cafeteria instance was back, though angrier, and he was two seconds from actually gaining an assault charge from hitting Principal Higgins square in the face. But the older man was quick to turn, and eject his dissonant castigate towards you. 

“And you, missy!” Your eyes were blinking posthaste with fret to control the swell of tears that were burning your eyes, at the clashing outburst being directed against you. “How did you even gain the facilities to take such picture?!” 

Your mouth was dry with consternation, unable to formulate words, and simply quivering your mouth open.

And unlucky for you, Fred Benson spoke for you.

“After our yearbook meeting on Friday,” heads snapped at his gravelly voice, “she said she was going to stay after to work, and that she would lock up herself. She must have taken the key, and stolen a camera.”

Higgins scoffed with great disgust as he judged you, before turning to Nancy. “Ms. Wheeler, as president of the Yearbook Committee, had you permitted her to do so?” 

Nancy looked at you with guilt. She hadn’t anticipated the situation to blow up this much, though she spoke honestly to the authoritative eyes of Higgins. “Uh, no, I didn’t.” She meekly answered. 

“And Mr. Munson,” Eddie rolled his eyes, trying to control his frustrations before doing something he wouldn’t be able to take back. “When did Ms. Y/L/N enforce these photos?”

“Why the hell does that even matter?” Eddie gritted with a clenched jaw of tension.

“Mr. Munson, you choose not to answer me, and I will not hesitate to place you as an accomplice, and you certainly cannot afford another detention or suspension if you’re planning on finally ending this school year as a graduate.” In a perfect world, Eddie Munson would have lied for you and lessened whatever punishment you were about to receive, but Hawkins, Indiana was far from perfect, the threat made him budge under the pressure of his potential future and your distraught eyes.

“It was, uh, after her cheer practice. After school.” He sheepishly murmured with regret.

“Ah,” Principal Higgins turned to your shaking stature. “So, not only did you make unauthorized changes to the school yearbook, but you stole school property, used our equipment prohibitively outside of school hours, and actively unsubordinated my authority. I have to say, I am awfully disappointed in the person you have become, Ms. Y/L/N, and I am ashamed to have valued you so highly when you simply choose to go down the path of delinquency.” Everything about Principal Higgins words were humiliating and slammed you into a vicious cycle of believing the worst about yourself. “Finish the rest of your day,” he sighed, “but you’ll be suspended for the rest of the week for your actions.” Your heart sank at his news, and Eddie stood dumbfounded that he contributed to it. 

Your visions grew blurry under the swell of tears, and your breath was becoming sporadic with panic, and everyone just kept fucking staring at you. “N-no, sir, p-please!” You choked, “I-I have scholarships, a-and acceptances that I-I’m still waiting to hear back from, this could ruin that for me, p-please, sir!”

While your pleads were being disregarded, everyone stood stun watching your fate unfold in front of you. Eddie Munson didn’t know what to do. Nobody did. On top of being berated by him from Friday, you were now facing the worst possible consequence for something so trivial, and he watched it happen. Granted, there was quite literally nothing Eddie could do to fix the situation, but seeing you stand there, panicked about your future and trying to conceal your incoming sobs through the ache of heart palpitations, it was fucking excruciating for him to witness. 

“You should have thought about that before you made your choices. Everything is on you.” His words were ringing in your ear like a loop confirming everything you’ve ever hated about yourself. “I’ll be sure to let your father know of the news, and as for your spot on the committee, it is up to Ms. Wheeler to determine where you stand. Now go, everyone back to class.”

Fred Benson was first to leave, giddy to have been cleared from any trouble. Eddie Munson should have left, but he couldn’t stand to leave, simply watching you turn to Nancy Wheeler in a flash. Your round eyes were pleading to her to let you stay, but her previous words of “This is your only strike,” was tormenting you. She sighed, “I’m sorry,” and the shake of her head answered everything before she could verbalize it. 

You were off. 

You stormed out of the room, bumping shoulders with Eddie, though with no malice intent, just simply needing to get out. The second you reached the clearing of the empty hall, your tears were drowning your cheeks, your sobs so unbearably hard your breathing staggered for release. Suddenly, your little cashmere sweater felt like it was sticking to your skin, giving you hot flashes that brought dizziness to your pounding head. The blood battering your ears cleared out any noise, including Eddie’s calls of your name. He reached out to hold your arm, causing you to severely flinch in hysteria, and he appeared devastatingly concerned for your state of being.

“Sorry! Ar-are you okay?” He winced at the loud sob you choked out, as he felt stupid for even asking you that question. “Look, everything, uh, everything’s gonna be fine.” He rushed to reassure. In truth, Eddie Munson was completely talking out of his ass, he didn’t know if everything was going to be fine, your panicking was just causing him to panic, and all he wanted was for you to be okay. “J-just, uh, breathe for me.” He offered. 

“I-I c-can’t! I’m scared, Eddie, help me!” You pleaded with frightened eyes. 

Your beg hit too close to home. Suddenly, Eddie was a little boy curled up in the corner of his trashed living room, as he watched his parents abuse one another with words and fists. He pleaded the same words to his parents, who merely ignored his shaking little body. Such horrific events disfigured Eddie Munson’s belief of healing. No one cared for his emotions, no one cared for his feelings, and no one cared to make sure he was okay. So, yes, Eddie Munson yelled at you Friday night because he was petrified. Petrified to be hurt, just as everyone else had done, because to Eddie Munson, that was his fate. To be hurt and to be forgotten. Maybe that’s why he cared so much about being excluded from the school yearbook. While anyone would have rightfully been upset, being excluded cemented the notion that Eddie Munson was disposable. His father spoke it, the townspeople spoke, his teachers spoke, and his peers spoke it. But you didn’t, and that fucking scared him. It’s why he yelled, it’s why he panicked, and it’s why he’d try anything to help you right now.

“I-I know, sweetheart, just listen to me, please.” He quietly spoke. “I’m not gonna touch you or anything, I just really need you to listen to me.”

You fervently nodded your head, and he sighed with relief, because though minor, it was progress, and progress was incredible.

“I, uh, I want you to focus on my voice, okay?” His wide eyes connected with your red ones. “I wouldn’t lie to you, and I mean it when I say everything will be okay. I-I’ll make sure of it.” 

Could he physically do that? No. But would he try his damn hardest, putting his being through anything to make it happen? Yes. For you.

“Okay, I want you to-”

“What are you doing to her?!”

Eddie’s eyes screwed shut with disappointment. 

Jessica fucking Lewis.

“Get away from her!” She charged past him to get to your hysterical figure. “Did you do something?!”

“No, no, I’m trying to fucking help her.” Eddie implored. “Stop yelling, she’s having a fucking panic attack.” He gritted through his teeth.

“Don’t fucking come near her ever again, you freak!” Eddie watched as you tried to get your words out, but your shrinking throat made it impossible to get your voice out, and he recoiled, watching the fear in your eyes as Jessica held a tight grip in your arms. 

But before he could stop her, Jessica was dragging you into the girls bathroom, and he stood frozen doing everything in his power to not rip out his hair in frustration. 

-

Aside from her fault-finding comments against Eddie, Jessica Lewis had actually been a fairly good friend to you through the years of cheer, connecting with the girls through the pact of lifelong sisterhood, as she insisted. Though such pact also came with unwarranted advice when she felt one of you was “falling out of line” with a pristine, perfect image. That being said, when she found you panicking at the hands of Eddie Munson, she was actually concerned, impetuous, yes, but concerned, nonetheless. She’d sat with you, decisively skipping the rest of Mrs. Otis’ home economics class, to console you, bitching out any innocent girl to leave as they attempted to alleviate themselves, while you sat heaving with the back of your thighs sticking to cold tiles of the bathroom. When you did finally manage to catch your breath and calm your heart rate to a healthy status, Jessica had petted your hair with care, constantly asking what was wrong and what Eddie had done. Through your tremored voice, you hoarsely clarified that “He didn’t do anything,” and “He was just trying to help.” That revelation had actually baffled Jessica Lewis, honestly, some part of her believing you to be lying, but she gave it a rest when you assiduously shook your head in response to her asking what was actually wrong. By then, the bell had rung to signal the start of third period.

And it was during said third period when your situation only worsened completely unbeknownst to you.

While you were in the middle of trying to focus on your quiz—which proved damn near impossible after today’s events—Fred Benson was seemingly trying to get back at you for nearly inducing him into a heart attack after your actions almost cost him his spot on the Newspaper and Yearbook Committee (In reality, Nancy Wheeler had only yelled at him for not previously checking the books).

See, once Fred had informed the rest of the Yearbook Committee of what you had done and how you were being punished, the news had spread like wildfire; nerds, geeks, punks, jocks, everyone knew one version or another. “Perfect Cheerleader Falls Under Satanic Cultist’s Influence and Vandalizes School Facilities,'' small town high school students sure had a talent to dramatize any given situation. You’d only taken a picture, that’s all it was, but the students of Hawkins High had conspired together to formulate you into a freak slut who allegedly got fucked by the Eddie Munson after cheer practice in exchange for putting his club in the yearbook.

As the students of your class hurtled to mitigate the dreaded boredom of the school day with the clashing laughter and stale food of lunch, you sighed in your seat, head pounded and anxiety still churning in your mind and stomach, slowly packing up your belongings before handing over the quiz—quite literally the worst you’ve ever performed on one. Lunch seemed like the worst possible thing to conquer, right now. Despite the horrid grumbling of your stomach, you felt no need to satiate that hunger, as your appetite was long gone for the afternoon. In addition, you’d known Jessica Lewis long enough to know that she had informed all your friends of your panic attack, and if you chose to call her out on it, you knew you would only be met with a “I’m only trying to help,” as if you needed an intervention. She’d done it to Paige Semore when the girl healthy gained a couple pounds over the summer and got ridiculed by Jess.

But when you entered the cafeteria, you quickly wished you were subjected to Jessica Lewis’ harmful “advice”, rather than the reality you got.  

The sound of the heavy double doors announced your arrival, and suddenly all eyes were on you. No, like quite literally, all eyes were on you. No greeting smiles from acquaintances, no shying-away looks from crushing students, no bright wave hello from Chrissy Cunningham from across the cafeteria, in fact, she was heavily avoiding you, seemingly finding the table more interesting as Jason Carver glared at you. Everyone was staring at you as if, without notice, you had become the town pariah. Because you had. Your perturbation had bombarded you like a missile hit, as quiet whispers flooded your senses. Peering around you caught his eyeline. Eddie. His brows had severely been furrowed with much worry, because he knew. He knew how quickly it went around, and he knew just how bad the news got twisted. Now, he was no stranger to the onslaught of destructive rumors, but you weren’t, and with the day you had, his chest was pounding with dread for you.

Chalking it up to merely being in your head, you swallowed the lump in your throat, and with quick steps, you sped to your usual lunch table. But everyone kept staring- your friends were staring. “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?” You whispered, as they genuinely looked at you with disgust. 

“Why don’t you tell us?” Jason scowled. “Seems like you’re the one who caused all of this, you desperate slut.”

Your mouth dropped incredulously. “What did you just call me?”

“You fucking heard me!” Jason stood from his chair, rejecting Chrissy’s quiet ask to not cause a scene. “It’s exactly what you are.” He laughed.

Eddie Munson’s residual anger was fueling. Hard. He stood from his chair all the way across the room, metal legs scraping the floor with a deafening screech. But his presence only caught the worst attention. “Oh, would you look at that? Your little freak coming to help you?”

Eddie faltered at your watery eyes, begging for everything to just stop. If he spoke, nothing would help you. “What are you talking about?” Your voice stung with pleads to just understand what was happening to you.

“Stop acting like you don’t fucking know!” Andy’s booming voice startled you. “You wanna choose some gross freak to fuck, then fine by us, go right ahead, but don’t think that you’ll be able to with us!” Andy McAvoy was taking it far more personal. He liked you. That was obvious. But hearing the rumors simply led him to believe you chose Eddie Munson over him.

“What?” Your voice cracked in distress. 

Eddie had had enough. 

“She didn’t fucking do anything!” He marched his way over. All the boys of the basketball team stood in preparation for a fight that Eddie Munson was known to love to finish. Finish, not start. “Your bland lives got that fucking boring you all have to go around making shit up to make things interesting?! She didn’t do anything!”

“Aw, defending your precious little fuck toy, isn’t that cu-”

Chrissy Cunningham's shrilling scream startled the entire cafeteria as Jason Carver’s blood stained her powdery skin. You flinched at the bone-crunching punch that busted Jason’s pretty face, and everything felt heavy in your chest. Your hands were beginning to shake beyond your control, as everything was horrifyingly disfiguring in front of you. It was happening again. Before your mind was about to shut off from the assault of today’s events, your instinct had elicited all rash decisions, and you had to leave. All you could comprehend was the diffusing sounds of students instigating the fight before everything fell silent and you trudged down the hall to escape.

Staff were quick to call Eddie’s name before another detrimental hit was casted upon Jason. It was only then, Eddie’s judgment was left unclouded, and he noticed you were gone. “Did she leave?” He hadn’t necessarily asked anyone in particular, moreso questioning himself, but Chrissy Cunningham had ardently answered him with a swift nod of her head and bulging eyes of fear. 

Eddie broke through the doors with force, catching you near the end of the hall. “Y/N!” You didn’t turn, though. Every repeated call of your name fell with no response, and he chased you down, following you into the zephyr of the afternoon weather outside. “Y/N, c’mon, wait!” He’d grabbed your arm.

“What?!”

Eddie staggered at your biting tone. Not once, in the four years he’d known of you—freshman to senior year—had he ever heard your voice so malicious, yet drowning in urgence to make everything stop. Your inconsolable state devastating him helplessly. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He sighed so softly.

“‘Sorry?’” You affronted. “Now you’re sorry?! After everything that’s happened! Why, is it out of fucking pity?!” Internally, Eddie was begging you to stop, because if you kept yelling at him like this, his defense mechanism was going to lash out, especially when he was already angry from everything that’s just happened. “I don’t want some stupid apology, not when every time you appear, my life gets worse! I just want you away!” You cried.

Eddie scoffed in disbelief. Were you actually blaming him for all this? No, you weren’t. But after the day you just had, you were not looking to be comforted by someone who partially hurt you. But Eddie Munson couldn’t understand. His judgment had a habit of being clouded; his cynicism about anything good happening to him had protected him from a lifetime of hurt, and now, unfortunately, your rightfully pent up polemic about him was believing his suspicions to be true. 

“This isn’t my fucking fault, you’re the one who wanted to take our picture in the first place!” He shouted, shielding his vulnerability. 

“Because you made a big deal out of it!” You screamed with frustration. “You yelled at me first, you said mean things to me first- why- why were you so mean to me?!” You blubbered through drowning tears.

“Because- be- ugh,” Eddie pained with vexation. “You fucking terrify me, okay?! You terrify the living shit out of me!” Guarding his tearing eyes from your shattered being, he groaned realizing you weren’t going to understand unless he opened up, but he couldn’t bear to, and maybe that was the best solution to move on, run away. “It’s just fucking hard when, you know, you look like that and you’re fucking you, and I’m just me, and you have a great life-”

“‘Great life?!’” You derided through tears. “You know nothing about my life!” You shoved him. “You know nothing about me!” You shoved him again. Eddie was quick to retrain your wrist in a tight grip, preventing you from touching him again, no matter how hard you tried. “Stop acting like you know everything about me when you know absolutely nothing! I’m not going to stand here, and let you say mean things to me, when you know nothing, do you understand?! I have never done anything to you, and I never will, because unlike you, I’m not some sulking asshole who can’t handle their fucking emotions, and uses their sorry life to lash out at people because they’re too pathetic to deal with their own problems!”

And maybe your rash psycho analysis of Eddie Munson was too much, or not harsh enough, but either way, your critical comments derailed him off the edge of sanity. He aggressively dropped your wrist, and got into your face with a full might of fury. “You are such a miserable bitch!” He shouted, invading your space with intent, causing you to wince and step away from him, but he wasn’t relenting. “For once, you got a fucking taste of what your bullshit friends have been doing to me, and now you can’t fucking handle it?! God, just love playing the fucking victim, don’t you?! Maybe they are right, maybe you are just some fucking desperate slut craving fucking attention?! Is that why you did all this shit in the first place?!”

The way your face flashed with sudden dejection had him biting his tongue. Oh, fuck. He regretted it. He fucking immediately regretted it. 

Eddie began furiously shaking his head in denial to what he just uttered, he couldn’t believe it. “No,” he heaved out. “No, I-I didn’t mean it, I’m s-sorry.” He could only muster a whisper.

You didn’t even have the energy to fight back, merely accepting his words as truth with a silent sob that burned your being. “Yeah,” you shakily sighed with a sniffle of sobs. “I’m sorry, too, Eddie. I would have loved being your friend, and now I just want nothing to do with you.” His heart dropped at your calmness. When he first spoke those words to you, demanding you to stay away from him and his friends, he knew a deep part of him didn’t mean it. Why would he, you were fucking perfect? But you, the stillness and tranquility of your words cemented them to be the final verdict. You were done. “So please,” you wiped your drenched face from tears, “just leave me alone and stay away from me.”

No malice, no anger, no fury.

Just pure defeat.

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You really should’ve known better. Eddie was distancing himself from you little by little. You were so distracted with your studies, yearbook committee, and cheer that you didn’t even realize what was going on right under your own nose. Eddie was cheating on you with your best friend, Chrissy Cunningham. You found out through word of mouth.

Said mouth belonging to Patrick McKinney. He’s someone you’ve known longer than Eddie. In fact, you’ve known Patrick since Kindergarten. You two were incredibly close and thick as thieves. You thought about all the times Eddie shown signs of jealousy whenever Patrick would come around or call you on the phone. All of it was harmless. If there were any feelings involved, you two would’ve gotten together by now.

So when Patrick told you he saw Eddie making out with Chrissy in his van, you immediately believed it. You even told Jason Carver, Chrissy’s supposed boyfriend. He was dumbstruck. “Not his Chrissy,” he said. Not his poor, sweet Chrissy. But yes, indeed it was.

You didn’t know who to feel more hurt by. Eddie, who you felt was the one for you and spent all your time with. Isolating yourself away from your friends and family, not having too much of a social life outside of Eddie was definitely your own mistake. Or Chrissy, who you confided in about everything. From your deepest insecurities, to your arguments with Eddie.

You knew you should feel heartbroken like Jason does. You know you should be sobbing into your pillow while watching Sixteen Candles. But instead, you were sitting at your vanity. You pulled out your pink diary and flipped through it. Reading all the secrets and details both Chrissy and Eddie told you about. Every. Single. One.

You thought for a minute. If you do this, there’s no going back….. fuck it. No one remembers the well-behaved girl anyway.