aperture-hag

Science may kill you but you can't kill science!

A Portal / Half-Life-centric blog. I'm a silly old fan returning to the world of Aperture and Black Mesa and loving it all over again. Teaching myself to draw just to make Cave Johnson memes.Hag-of-Ages on Ao3 24 | they/them

508 posts

Man. If Glados Thought Chell Was 100% Motivated By Wanting To Be Stubborn And Contrary (instead Of, Like,

man. if glados thought chell was 100% motivated by wanting to be stubborn and contrary (instead of, like, survival)

breaking things and escaping just because she told her not to

of course, when told "don't come back," why would she expect chell to do what she's told?

if she's not even thinking of freedom/survival as a motivator, why would chell go? if she expects chell to stick to her primary motivation, causing problems on purpose, of course telling her to leave would make her say fuck you I'm staying

what a letdown, when chell finally decides to obey the one time glados doesn't want her to

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aperture-hag

10 months ago

It’s such a silly issue to have but I want to write a stand-alone fic in which Caroline has to deal with Cave Johnson’s wife and young children after his death, with the implication that Cave was a serially remarried playboy (which might align with some people’s headcanons). But it’s been a struggle to write because in my favorite headcanons Cave is 100% asexual/aromatic with no interest in any sort of relationship and is just living life for the science and the hijinks.

I don’t know what else to do with my need to write “Caroline as tired and aging woman visiting her boss/best friend’s widow who had confusing feelings (mostly anger) for now-dead Cave” vibes. But they are there.

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just me ranting like a moron headcanon don’t get me wrong I dig caveline fics but in my mind can’t imagine cave and caroline as anything other than not straight besties it would be funny tho if cave married a woman just so Caroline could date her in secret cave is Caroline’s beard lol

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aperture-hag

10 months ago

Make your summer last forever with our new patented Aperture Science Tropical Long-Term Relaxation Vaults! They're so luxurious, even the CEO and his lovely assistant themselves use them (disclaimer: "use" in this context refers to only standing within proximity of the Relaxation Vaults and not activating the device). To book an appointment, contact your local certified Aperture Science Testing Affiliate or Product Handler today.

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