"Are You Letting Yourself Be Led By Fear Or By Love?"
"Are you letting yourself be led by fear or by love?"
In a 2021 musical film called Tick Tick Boom, Michael asks his friend Jonathan this question. Two years later, in the early hours of the morning, I ask myself the same thing and the answer is always the same: fear.
I think that for a long time, I lived out of fear for my emotional well-being, my mental health, and my physical safety. I've come to realize that I am no longer in danger. I've come to realize that I cannot dwell on what I cannot control. I've come to realize that I have more power than I thought, but my answering isn't changing.
I thought that if I healed, then I would be fine. But I am not fine. I am directionless.
- @annetries-towrite
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creemore, ontario david herzog + should have known better, sufjan stevens
I don't like when able-bodied people refer to disabled people in positions of power and they say something along the lines of "this person has a disability, but they still can do this" or "this person may be disabled, but they never let that stop them". Like, I understand that people have good intentions when they say that, but phrasing it like that enforces the narrative that people with disabilities need to live in spite of what makes them "different" and they don't have to. Of course, everyone's experience is different, but I live alongside my disability and I'm not ashamed of that.
"Your disability doesn't define you" Okay but what if it does? What if my disability is inherently entangled in who I am and how I experience my life? Would that dehumanize me in your eyes? Because then that's a you problem you shouldn't project onto me
Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.
That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)
If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:
How to clean dishes by hand
How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)
How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)
How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)
How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)
How to mop the floor
How to sweep the floor
How to swallow pills
How to make small talk
How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)
It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

I will always love you but I cannot look at you