Stop Everything And Listen To Those Motors Running

Stop everything and listen to those motors running 🤤

Nice engine sound

This whole past week has felt like "WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I HAD MY SHIT TOGETHER I AM AN ADULT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" 😒 (You can feel free to message me about it but I'm a very busy man)

ok i’m done being crazy lol

Little update: tw transphobia: I don't own the original footage, nor do I entirely know the context except for the fact that Lyle is having issues editing footage of himself lol.

Anyways, I added text over it because I have a bit of a story to share, and I don't feel comfortable sharing to my Instagram or Facebook, cause I'm not sure I want my mom to see it just yet.

So me, my sis, and my mom went out together and had a lot of fun, basically I don't want to say too much but I feel like they were BARELY trying with my new name and pronouns. Of course it's ONLY been maybe a month since I've notified them, but it's been longer since I've had them on ALL social media platforms and even longer still since I knew I was and am trans.

I first knew I was nonbinary before realizing that I'm also trans masculine, which is a bit silly, but my gender journey isn't completely linear.

When our mom left to go back home she said "don't focus on the pronouns" and I was cheekily smiling but in my mouth I wanted to spew out "go fuck yourself" but I REALLY didn't want to deal with her reaction and all the new stuff going on today (don't worry, it's good stuff mainly.)

I feel like she may not understand, because she's old, about twice as old as me. So I NEED to give her some grace for that, no really I feel like I need to. But sometimes it just makes me feel like I'm not making any progress.

I'd like to medically transition in some fashion, legally, too, but I'm not sure how to figure all that.

I have another therapist appointment this week, and I do NOT plan to miss them. They SAID they would get me a gender therapist, I would like someone to just even TALK to about the whole thing. I knew that I've mainly been a guy for maybe my entire life, or just feel REALLY uncomfortable with femme terms being used for me basically. My pronouns are he/they/it. Yes, it is one of them. I just don't know if I want to explain myself there, but I have been involved in the furry community a little bit or at least like drawing anthro characters from time to time.

But that's besides the point. I am a person, I'm not a she, I have a life, ever since I've realized how much it bothers me to be called she, the more it hurts. I however, STILL like presenting somewhat femininely, and some people may have some trouble understanding that.

I could go on and on about how I both care about my gender and don't care at the same time. Like I feel like I don't matter even though I'm continuously coming out, being brave, and feels somewhat surreal that I'd finally see the day that I'd stop denying how I feel on the inside. Of course there will ALWAYS be bullies. Know that I stand with you trans folks of all kinds. I'm not going to cut off my mom from my life, or my sister. I KNOW they are trying to understand. This IS a phase of my life, but that's not to say that I'll go back in the closet. I want to be out, even if I'll be uncomfortable a lot, even if I'll be exhausted a lot. I just want to make sure other trans folks are safe too. Don't come out unless you are safe. I wasn't even sure I would be. I'm gonna start arming myself in case something DOES go wrong though. Not heavy artillery, just smaller stuff, more defensive. Make sure you have a great support system.

Anyways, as far as art goes, idk, maybe catch me on Instagram? But just keep in mind my mom is on Facebook.

... Well then Monika tainted the color pink 😜🤣

They are sisters

Happy boyfriend's day!!! (Technically this will be yesterday, probably by the time you are reading this, but I feel there's a few things I need to get off my chest.)

It's interesting that I met @universallydestinytaco on Tumblr, when I came back after being obsessed with smiling friends for a bit. I'm not as crazy about it as before but I still enjoy watching it.

Anyways, I would really like to mention a shout-out to all the new relationships.

A shout-out to all the long distance relationships that start out online.

It's amazing that we are able to get along, because I feel like I was once in his shoes.

I felt naive and gullible, I mean there are moments where I still am, but I hope I have matured a lot.

I have doubts and wonder if I'm not just a "good enough" boyfriend but a "really great" boyfriend.

I know I'm not perfect and neither is he.

I'm still figuring myself out, that might be a life long journey.

It's astounding to me that this person whom I thought I could just brush off at first ended up becoming someone whom I love so dearly.

At first, I didn't want him talking to me, I could have easily moved on.

But I didn't. I'm glad that I stayed with you...

... I'm tearing up thinking about it.

You called my handsome. Nobody usually calls me that before. Know that that reason alone is NOT the only reason I stayed patient.

I'm not putting up with you, I'm putting up with myself.

You give me the patience again.

There's so much to be said here, but you should know that...

...Souls speak to each other even while they are away...

I love you so much Gary. I all hope and pray that our wildest dreams come true. Not for just me, not for just you, for the both of us. Amen.

💞🙏♂️♂️🌈🌈

... spicy...

charpim again??? yup, i luv them, srry guys